My Not So First Jump

Welp,

    Its the end of the world, go figure.

    I gazed up into the blood red eyes of the bear-ant-rilla filled with toxic poison and anti creation magic. “Dammit all, can’t you just take a five minute break?” I yelled up at the beast glaring down at me. It roared and kicked me into a mountain. “Thats a no.” I mumbled painfully and pulled myself out. I looked at my scorched arm, which was also broken. “I've taken one hell of a beating huh?” I spoke to myself and put my sword down. I placed my good hand over the wrecked one and began trying to heal my arm.

    Too bad I don’t have that kind of time.

    A huge foot broke into the small chamber I was hiding in and knocked my out the other side of the mountain. “DAMMIT!” I formed a dark ball of fire in my damaged hand and threw it at the beast, which made it flinch back in pain and anger. This brought me enough time to resummon my blade and get into a defensive stance. “Have to think fast! I can’t last much longer!” I growled to myself as the beast began to look for me again. “Maybe I can trap him here, he won't leave until everything living here is dead! SO I JUST HAVE TO LEAVE!” I quickly dropped to my knees and began to power up the portal spell. “Don’t see me don’t see me don’t see me.” After a moment it was complete, I opened my eyes to endless space. “Can’t......Drive.....Dammit!” And like that, I passed out.

    Now I can explain.

    See, that bear-ant-rilla is a god slaying being called the Destroyer, and it is way too fucking overpowered for even me to fight alone, but I can stay alive for a bit. Anyway this dude came to my world and wrecked the place, everyone dead, even my friends.

    Thing is, we fought and killed this thing before, this time it caught us by surprise. So we fell one by one, along with the rest of the world and our gods.

    So, thats the jist of it, now we see where we land.

    ----Hours later----

    “Argh, my head.” I mumbled and pushed myself up. “Anyone get the number of that starship that hit me?” When no one answered I sighed and looked around. I was surrounded by apple trees. “....This place is very familiar.” I got up to my feet and almost fell over, the pain in my arm and legs was over what any mortal being should feel. “GAH! DAMMIT ALL!” I cursed and quickly went to heal myself. My hand glowed a light green color as I moved it over my legs, the pain quickly left them and I moved on to my arm. The black scorch mark didn’t leave but at least my arm wasn't broken anymore. I looked up at the apple tree above me and licked my lips. “Being in a fire filled world sure makes a guy thirsty, and hungry, and takes to these awesome apples that covers both those!” I lept up and grabbed an apple, then I greedily bit into it and tore that juicy beauty apart.

    “HEY!” I almost did a spit take when that voice sounded, it scared the shit out of me. “THOSE ARE MAH FAMILY'S APPLES!” Wait....

    Cowboy accent,

    Family apples,

    Pony........

    “APPLEJACK!” I spun around to the now surprised mare and leapt at her, which I shouldn’t have done cause that got me a super buck to the face. I quickly flew back and into one of the apple trees. “....Ow......” I muttered and held my face. “Why would you do that!?” I rubbed my face and made sure everything was there.

    “Well, when a stranger tries to grab ya, ya want to defend yourself.” Stranger? I removed my hands and gazed at AJ with a curious look.

    “Wait.....You don’t know me?” She shook her head and huffed.

    “No, ah don’t. Now why are ya on mah property and why shouldn’t I buck you into next week?” She sounded pissed. I must be smart and say the right thing.

    “.....Magic?” If I could slap myself, I would. I ducked as another earth shattering kick was thrown my way. “WAIT! WAIT! I meant no harm! I just remembered where I ended up! I’m sorry!” She stopped herself right before delivering a killing blow to my temple.

    “Then where are ya?” She questioned, turning to face me.

    “Sweet Apple Acres!”

    “How do you know me?”

    “I met you a long time ago while I was bumming around with Twilight!”

    “One more question.” She gave me a confused look. “Whose Twilight?”

    …..........Wut.

    I gave her the stupidest look I could muster. How could she not know Twilight? “Um.....Nevermind. Are you not shocked by my appearance?”

    “We’ve had stranger things happen ‘round these parts.” She put her hoof on the back of her head. “Ever hear of a cockatric?”

    “Say no more, I understand.” I got up from the ground and cracked my back. “Anyway, sorry for eating your apple, I was just surrounded by fire and you get really thirsty when you're dehydrated.”

    “Its alright, hows about you make up for it? Come with me to the barn and help set some things up for Summer Sun Celebration? Mah family is in charge of the food for the festivities and we could use a hoof-”

    “Hand.” I pointed at my hand and wiggled my fingers.

    “-Er....Hand, is getting some things set up and baked, you can bake right?” With that, I grinned a dark grin.

    “Oh, I love to bake! Heck I’ll do all the baking!” We laughed and began making our way down the hill and to the house, it looked just the same as before, and I bet Granny Apple is still alive to! She had the best stories.