Ponies on Red Dwarf

Author's Introduction

Just to clarify some things:

Red Dwarf is (as in it's in it's tenth season) a TV show on BBC (I don't know which one). As an American, I'm lucky to be aware of exsistence. (Those of you who read my blog posts know this. And have seen some clips of.)
"Smeg" is thier general insult and curse.
Lister is supposed to have a cockney-ish-stereotypical-ish British accent, while Holly's is straight up stereotyped.
Holly was male at the begining of the series, but after the third season, the gender switched.
Spoiler, but it's an important plot point: In the sixth season they lose Red Dwarf. I didn't know that when starting the fic, so this story will be after season 5, all the way up to when Lister wakes from another stasis at the begining of season six.

Enjoy:

HAVE A NICE SMEGGIN' DAY!

(Oh, and here's the theme song.)