The 4th Tribe

Chapter 17- Don’t touch my lemonade

Matts POV

Deep inside Matts mind

A lonely brain cell is sitting at a desk, doing his boring job of staring at screens all day. he wants to clock out and go back home to his kids and family, but since there systems had gone offline for a while, the boss was making every cell stay late to make sure everything was fine. The last thing they wanted was another accident.

“I’m so bored” the brain cell muttered to himself. His cell phone rang (Get it Cell Phone… screw you)

“Hey honey, why aren’t you home. “ she sounded worried

“Boss is making us stay late to make sure nothing happens to the reactor. I think he’s a bit paranoid, so what do you want for dinner, I was thinking I was gonna grab some ion stew from that place in the frontal lobe.”

“Oh that sounds good. Ok hey sweetie, can I talk to you about something.” He got a bad feeling in his mitochondria. Suddenly, a red light started blinking on the control display.

“Hey, I have to go.” He hung up his phone and looked at the panel.

“No, that can’t be right… Hey Bob, can you come over here.” He called out to another cell.

“What’s up ted?” he asked with concern.

“Here look at these readings, they can’t be right.” Bob stared at the panel and scratched the top of his head.

“That can’t be right, we would felt quakes before.” He was cut off by a massive brainquake. Everycell fell out of there chair. It suddenly stopped and there was confusion everywhere.

“WHATS GOING ON” Bob slowly got to his feet, another cell answered him. All around, lights were going off and alarms were blaring. He looked at his panel and nearly fainted. The reactor that controlled wtf moments was heating up beyond belief. He looked out of his window at the reactor. It had started to glow red.

“THE CORE IS HEATING UP TO RAPIDLY; WE NEED TO COOL IT DOWN.” He yelled to Bob

“INJECT EMERGENCY TROLOLOLS NOW, IF THAT DOES’T WORK SCRAM.” He yelled over the alarms. Ted pushed a button on his console and the infamous trololol cooling system went into action. The reactor slowly began to stabilize and return to normal. He breathed a sigh of relief and called his wife.

Meanwhile at the Legion of Doom… Wait wrong story sorry.

Meanwhile in Ponyville. Yeah got it right

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. What…WHA…WHAT…ERROR…ERROR… Wait, why is the trololol song playing in my head? How…HOW CAN SOMETHING BE THIS CUTE. I was of course talking about the 3 filly’s that had just crashed landed in Twilights front yard thingy, or to be more praise the bushes. I recognized 1 of them as AppleBloom, but the other 2 I had no idea. 1 of them was a unicorn and another was a Pegasus’s.  It appeared they had just crashed a scooter.  None of them looked hurt, but one of them wasn’t happy.

“Thanks a lot AppleBloom, Now my scooters broken.” The Pegasus said.

“Well I’m sorry Scootaloo.” Hmm… Why I am suddenly craving chicken. Nugget in a biscuit nugget in a biscuit. I think I might have some minor brain damage. Good night of sleep should make it go away, I hope. They had stopped yelling at each other and had finally noticed me.

“Who are you…? Are you a spy?” Scootaloo asked me. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by Dash.

“No he’s not a Spy, he’s a human. “Jabbing me in the side.

“Whats a HU-men.” The unicorn asked. She sounded a lot like Rarity. I was going to speak when I was interrupted by Twilight. Damn it, LET ME TALK

“It’s an ancient species of animal that helped found Equestria. He’s the only one of his kind.” Wow thanks Twilight. Being called an animal is sure to make me like you a lot more after you hit me in the head with a book.

“Can he talk?” Scootaloo asked Dash.

“Of course he can talk silly” Applebloom answered again for me. Rage levels increasing.  I opened my mouth to speak again but was cut off AGAIN. PREPARING ORBITAL RAGE CANNON.

“Well why isn’t he?” Scootaloo asked Twilight.

“Maybe because every time he opens his mouth to talk one of you cut him off.” Spike said soundly slightly annoyed. THANK GOD SOME ONE GETS IT. Or whatever Spike is, I have to ask him. They all looked at Spike with a look that he had said something really rude, then they FINALY realized what they had been doing.

“My names Matt, now could you possibly tell me who are you 2. I know who you are AppleBloom.”

“I’m Scootaloo, this is Sweetie Bell and were the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS.” They said the last part in unison.  Scootaloo jumped over to Dash.

“RAINBOW, THE WONDERBOLTS ARE COMING TO CLOUDSDALE IN 3 WEEKS.” She said really excited.

“OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH WE HAVE TO GO.” She took off and started flying around us really fast. Everyone else there look excited too.

“Um who are the Wonderbolts?” Dash stopped flying and dropped down and got in my face.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHO THE WONDERBOLTS ARE!” She has really big eyes. Why I am just now noticing this?

“UM Noooo.”

“HOW HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF THE WONDERBOLTS” she was yelling.

“WHY ARE WE YELLING.” I said in Cabooses voice from RVB

“Um let’s see… I’m from a different planet and have only been here 1 week?” she backed off a little bit.

“Oh... There the best flying team in all of Equestria, and I am going to join them someday.” She got this far of and determined look in her eye. Wait…Flying team. OH I know what they’re talking about.

“OH like the Blue Angles and the Thunderbirds. There the best flying team’s in the world. They perform all these tricks in the air, right?” I love the Blue Angels.

“I don’t know who those are but they have awesome names, but no one is better than the Wonderbolts.”

“Oh really, there better than the Blue Angels?” I said with sarcasm.

“Oh yeah.” She got back in my face.

“Really, I have a video of them on my laptop that I could show you.”

“You’re not hearing me. NO ONE IS BETTER THAN THE WONDERBOLTS, OH I GOT TO GO PRACTICE.” And with that she left.

A couple of ponies had walked over and were looking at Twilight and the rest of the gang.

“Girls could you come with me, the mayor wants to talk to you.” Said a pony.

“Um I guess. Come on girls, Spike watch Matt.” And with that they left me and Spike standing there. The Cutie Mark Crusaders took off going towards the bowling alley. I looked at Spike and he looked at me. We both shrugged and went into the library. I sat on a chair and Spike went upstairs to what I guess was his room. He come out with the biggest bowl of rubies and gems I have ever seen. I gawked at him.  He then took one and ATE IT. Welcome back wtf moment.

“Mmm that hits the spot. Want one?” offering a ruby the size of my hand.

“You eat Gems… Spike what the hell are you?”

“I’m a dragon.” DERP.

“Um no offense. But are all dragons this short.” If looks would kill I would have been mildly wounded.

“NO..I’m a baby dragon.”  He said the last part sadly, like he was ashamed.

“Can you breathe fire?”

“Yeah, but not that far.” A flame went about 3 feet out of his mouth. Holy crap that was cool.

“Hey Matt, can you do anything else besides make metal float?” he asked me.

“Yeah. I can make a shield around myself and shoot lighting out my hands, but I’m not that accurate with the lightning. I could show you but I’m afraid I might burn your house down, and the last thing I want is to pay for it.”  He laughed at that last one.

“Wow that’s really cool.”

“Hey Spike what is it that you do around here?” this had been bothering me for a while.

“I’m Twilights assistant; I help her run the library and send letters to the princess.” He stood up straight when he said this.

“Ah cool. I was wondering because I was probably going have to get a job soon.” I was probably gonna be stuck here for a while so I better make the best of it. I suddenly felt really thirsty.

“Hey Spike, do you have any lemonade?” he gave a funny look.

“Whats lemonade?” I started to bang my head on the table. Hard.

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. You don’t know what lemonade is?”

“Um no…Why is it important or something.” Facepalm facepalm facepalm.

“ Do you have the following things. Water, lemon juice and sugar?”

“Yeah let me go get them.” He went into the kitchen and came back with them and a lot of measuring tools. I got up and went to the table.

“Okay this is how you make lemonade. 1st, add 1 cup of sugar. Then add 1 cup of lemon juice, then stir in the water.” I poured it into 2 glasses. I chugged mine. Spike sniffed it and then took a sip.

“Woah. THAT’S GOOD, how have I never thought of making this?”

“I don’t know Spike, I honestly don’t know how your society could live without.”

I was cut off by the strangest noise. It sounded like a giant swarm of bugs. I heard somepony scream. Spike had a look of horror on his face and rushed to the door, closely followed by moa. What…The…FUCK.

There clouds were darkned by a swarm of little bugs. They looked so cute, that is unitl they dive bombed  a food stand. It disapered between a blanket of bugs. 1 second later they left, leaving a cart to its wooden Skelton. I only had 1 thing to say.

“OH SHIT.”

The swarm kept ravaging the town. Ponies where running left and right, hiding wherever they could. A small number of them came and flew towards us. Me and Spike basically dived back into the house. I heard a thud as they hit the door.

“SPIKE GRAB MY BASEBALL BAT!” he gave me a WTF look.

“LARGE METAL CLUB OF DEATH” He went over to my stuff and picked it up with surprise. The Bat was bigger than him.  He gave it to me and I stuck in between the handle and the lock. My god I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone ( NO pun intended).

“SPIKE WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE THINGS!”

“There called Parasprite’s, we had them come to Ponyville once and they nearly destroyed the town, I guess there back for revenge.” I heard a window break and swarm of them poured them, heading right towards the lemonade.

“DON’T TOUCH MY LEMONADE.” I yelled. I guess I scared them. They flew out the window, but a couple of them stayed. I rushed to the window, and put a small shield around it. I have no idea how I did it.

“That should keep out for a bit.”  Looking back to where Spike was. He had caught the only still in the house in a glass jar.

“Nice job Spike, now how in the name of two steps from hell do you get rid of these little varmints?”

“Well, Pinkie got rid of them by getting them to follow her with music, but shes in canterlot at some cupcake contest.” Hmmm…. Troll face.

“Spike, what would happen if you played bad music?” he thought about it for a moment.

“That might work… Horseapples I don’t have any bad music.” I smiled so big I swear it looked like I had a watermelon in my mouth.

“I do my Dragon friend.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened the music folder. I shuddered as I opened the “Worse songs in the history of Man” folder.

“Spike here put these on.” I pulled out to 2 sets of ear buds.

“That bad?”

“You have no idea.” We both plugged are ears. I gave spike the thumbs up and I clicked play on the screen. Rebecca Blacks “Friday” started playing. The Bug started to fly back in horror. It had a look of

horror on its face. After about 5 minutes of it I shut it down. No creature should have to endure all that, no matter how annoying. Me and Spike both smiled. It quickly went into a sad face when we looked outside. Ponies were running around everywhere and a couple of buildings had caught fire. This is not turning out to be a good day. I spotted Twilight running around looking crazy. I saw a flash of light and she teleported into the room.

“SPIKE THE TOWNS BEING DESOTRYED WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.” She screamed. She looked old women crazy. I rushed over to my bag and pulled out my laptop. I put Friday on windows media player and got it ready.

“Twilight, do you have a spell that can make things louder?” She gave me a funny look.

“Yeah, what do you have in mind?” I told her and Spike my plan.

“Oh that’s brilliant, BUT WE HAVE TO HURRY.” Calm down Twilight. We rushed upstairs to her balcony.

“Ok once this starts playing, Spike go down there with the phone and try to herd them back into the forest.” He nodded and walked down stairs, removing my baseball bat.

“Okay Twilight ready?”

“Yeah.” Her horn glowed and a purple aura encased my laptop. I clicked play.

Seven am waken up In the morning

Gotta grab my bowl

Gotta get cereal ( I’m sorry but this is about as far as I got in the song before I turned it off)

The swarm of Parasprites suddenly stopped moving as they heard the music. They started to fly away very quickly.

“Spike GO NOW.” He nodded and ran outside, my phone blasting the lyrics as loud as it could.  The swarm turned and flew off as fast as they could.  Ponies were in disbelief.

“It’s working…I can’t believe it.” Twilight said. Spike kept chasing them until him and them went out of sight. I turned off Friday and Twilight turned off her spell. We looked at each other and I did the doctor evil smile. She gave me a confused look and then laughed.  A couple of poines had started to come towards us, looking equaly confused. Dash suddenly droped down from nowhere and landed on the balcony.

“What the hay was that entire racket?”

“That my Pegasus friend is how you get rid of an entire swarm of little varmints. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but thank god for Friday.”

“You got them to run away?” she sounded like she was in disbelief.

“Yes I did…Well I came up with the plan, Spike and Twilight helped out quite a lot.” I pointed my finger towards a blushing Twilight. I turned toward Twilight. SPIKE, I HOPE HES ALRIGHT.

“What did the mayor want?”

“I don’t know, we got about halfway there before they attacked.” I looked back and saw that at least half the town was now looking towards the balcony. The crowd suddenly spilt like the red sea and here came Spike, being carried by a group of poines. They all chered for him. They came and set him down at the door. I walked down and met him.

“So Spike, congrats on being the Town hero that will sure impress Rarity.” His face turned so red I could have toasted toast on it. Hmmmm…. I want some toast now. Toast and chicken that sounds good.

“How did you know?” he stuttered.

I chuckled a little bit.

“A magician never tells his secret.” Trollface.

I’m sorry for the lack of updates. My word got broken and I had to go and buy a new one ofr a hundred bucks. I am goingto try to post a couple of more chapters to make up for the lack of it.

Feel free to comment and critique.

And if the characters are out of place or it feels rushed. I am typing this a t 1:45 in the morning.