The 4th Tribe

Chapter 21- Good bye my Children…

This was probably the funnest chapter to write yet… During writing this dumb drank 24 ROOTBEERS and I drank around 64oz of monsters in 2 hours…

Enjoy through our suffering…

"So..." I began awkwardness evident in my voice. "Where do we start?"

"Well... we might as well start with doing History... is that alright with you Lyra?" Storm asked, looking over at her mass.

(A/N: When Storm wrote 'mass', I basically pissed myself in laughter, turning my computer chair into... well you know.)

Lyra simply nodded in approval, her excitement obvious as her eyebrow began to twitch. Oh this is going to be good….

I looked over towards Storm. "Um... perhaps you should do history?"

“After all, you are old enough to know a lot of history, right?" I currently had a huge-ass grin on my face. He looked like he was going to slap me, but he gave a curt nod.

"In the beginning... there was Man-" NOPE, I AM NOT GOING THROUGH THIS!

"Actually..." Matt interrupted me, having a small glimmer in his eye. "May I go first?"

He nodded and leaned back, apparently he seemed curious on how I was going to explain this. So was I…

"Ten bucks say he makes himself look like a dumbass."

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS, AND WHY IS HE BRITISH!

"Well...our species were originally not smart as all. In fact we were about as smart as the monkeys here...there are monkeys here, right?" I began, my nerves  were starting to get to me. I hate looking dumb, and history sometimes made me look dumb.

Lyra nodded her head in approval, but she did not talk. Obviously, she was excited and enthralled over the point of trying to verbally communicating. This is going to be good, I hope she doesn’t hyperventilate. BUT NO TIME FOR THAT, I WANTED TO KNOW WHO THE BRIT WAS.

"Wait a second!" I yelled, looking at me angrily. "Who said 'ten bucks he makes himself look like a dumbass'?!" I don’t like this brit already.

"That was  my A.I. actually." He replied coolly. "He's a bit of a smart ass, don't worry about it."

"Well, good for you!" I said, sporting another 'trollgrin' on my face. "Perhaps you'd like to use that A.I. of yours and inform Lyra of all of Human History?" No one calls me a dumbass and gets away with it!

However, he simply smiled back. "Certainly, you see, around seven billion years ago, Earth was made-" Oh your wanna play this game; two can play that game…

"I change my mind!" I yelled. "I'm doing it!" TIME TO COUNTER TROLL!

"Alright, your call." He said warmly, I don’t think he knows what is coming next, my plan comes on the element of surprise.

"Well, it all happened around 16 billion years ago in something called the 'Big Bang', a point where all matter and creation was in a point of infinite density and heat. It exploded and the first quarks were created... After around .0000000001 seconds, the quarks fused and created the first basic elements..."

"Slow down Matt, you're going to give Lyra an aneurysm." He remarked as I watched Lyra began to twitch slightly more violently. Uh oh… We got a volcano here. "Perhaps you should not go into every little detail until we get back to Twilight's, alright?"

"Thats a good idea."

(A/N: At this point, we got into a heated debate about how haunted Dumbs swivel chair was, due to it revolving on its own. Also, we argued about how to spell 'aneurysm', which dumbgamer claims he won, but I really did)

He chuckled dryly. "Matt, you are such a troll." He muttered. AND PROUD OF IT

However, this seemed to spark Lyra's interest with her chiming into the conversation since it began

"What is a 'troll'?" Lyra asked quizzically, staring at Storm with innocent eyes. "Is it some kind of monster?"

He dared a glanced towards me, and I did the same. I think we both got the message, and he began the interesting chunk of information revolving around this Internet term.

"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages to other groups and organizations, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.The noun troll may refer to the provocative message itself, as in: 'That was an excellent troll you posted'." Wow, a troll within a troll. Trollecption.

Ironically, Lyra took this in stride and chuckled, before directing her gaze back to me. "Oh... I know what you mean! That would be someone like Discord, right?"

I was perplexed about the name. "Who the fuck is Discord?" Pardon my French.

Storm chuckled as I watched Lyra grimace slightly at the foul language, before explaining the God. "Discord is the spirit of Disharmony and Chaos here in Equestria. A while ago, he escaped his imprisonment and wreaked havoc on me and my friends."

"What kind of tricks?" I asked. By the way I love to play pranks…

Lyra sighed as she recalled several instances of them. "He gave the rabbits super-long legs, made dancing buffaloes in leotards, and also made exploding chocolate milk..." She shuddered involuntarily, before giving us a small smile. "He was horrible, but thankfully the Elements of Harmony turned him into stone and undid his tricks."

(A/N We then spent around 5 minutes search the interwebs to see if chocolate milk is really explosive… It’s not sadly)

I thought about this for a bit, and said in a whimsical tone. "Huh...I would probably get along with him quite nicely."

He laughed aloud. "Indubitably. I believe I'd get along with the chap just as well."

I looked over at him.” ‘Chap'? Are you English?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, I've just been with Ed for too long." Um, who the hell is ed? “Eds my AI.”

"Okay... well lets get back to this later then. Also, it's nice to meet you Ed." I said politely.

"Pfft. Kiss-ass."

OI I HEARD THAT!

"Matt, you seem to accept the most bizarre things way too quickly..." He commented.

I simply gave him a deadpanned look though.

"Storm, I've been teleported to a world full of talking ponies who have never heard of bacon and lemonade, met a time traveling alien that has a telephone box time machine, now met a guy that can summon random things out of nowhere, fought a huge ass bear and now I can control lightning... HOW MUCH MORE RANDOM CAN IT GET?!"

He simply stared at him with a small smile. "Like this!"

Air began to spin around a spot not too far away from me. Dust began to build, resembling the shape of a medium-sized bear. The air particles began to compact in on themselves, creating actual flesh and bone. When the simple three-second summon was done, an adult Panda Bear stood a few paces away from our little fire.

"Hey Paco."

He replied nonchalantly to the Panda as he waltzed over and sat next to him. Paco the panda looked at me, and then to Lyra and then back to Storm.

Holy crap that’s a panda bear… I must not let him know that I am surprised. Quick Matt think…

"Don't ask, it’s been a long week and a half for me." He said with a small chuckle. Paco simply nodded and looked around H.Q., taking in the scenery of our little base of operations. Lyra was staring at Paco in amazement.

"Nice to meet you Paco, so what's it like to be a panda?" Storm is not expecting this…

Paco stared at me intently for a brief moment before shrugging. Apparently he hadn't thought about it before.

"Well Paco, you can think about it later. We need to get back on topic." Paco simply nodded and dipped his head in respect at the others before walking away. He raised his hand, and with a clear audible snap he snapped his fingers. The panda bear disappeared , leaving me  counfused for once…

"CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE HISTORY PLEASE?" Lyra yelled, shocking us both. Yeah we sorta got off topic. (A/N and  during typing! N/A)

"My apologies Lyra." Storm said with a dip of his head. He  looked over towards me. "If you would...?" WAIT, WHAT! Well we better get started…

I nodded as I began my explanation once more. "Well... we eventually evolved and we began to migrate all across the Earth. After around 15,000 years, we had civilization in three major places: Asia, Mesopotamia and North America."

Lyra nodded at this and waved her hoof at me, signaling me to go on.

"Well, three things you should know about us humans is that;

1. We have a natural-born instinct to fight each other.

2. Humans have the unnatural ability to adapt to basically any environment. This enables us to survive in areas where you probably think life is impossible.

And finally, humans have a characteristic that no other animal has so far that we know of. And that is the capability of reason."

"It has led to many great inventions in music, communication, transportation, etc.... But at the same time, it has led us to horrid wars." Lyra gasped slightly at this news, not realizing that humans warred with one another. "These wars left millions dead and many more homeless, poor, etc." this was not a good idea…

Lyra just sat there, jaw slightly hanging open as tears slowly began to form under her eyes. "T-that's terrible! Why would you do that to yourselves?"’

It was Storm who answered this time. "Humans are abet greedy... well most are anyways. They are more than willing to step on the weak, and battle the strong for simplistic resources."

Lyra stared at Storm oddly for a moment, as if surprised that I knew that.

"Whoa Storm, keep your anger in check for a moment."

Oh, this is going to be good…

Another argument that I have no idea which is about…

"Do we honestly need a repeat of what happened last time?"

WAIT WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME! I MUST KNOW!!!

"Then calm the fuck down, and stop getting angry at little things."

"Um...Storm?" I commented, staring at him with a raised brow. "What exactly happened last time?"

"We're fucked in this dimension aren't we?"

Yeah, pretty much!

"I'm waiting man." I replied impatiently, crossing my arms. "What happened supposedly to you, 'last time'?"

“Well how do I put this…” he said nervously. He kept looking back and forth between me and Lyra. Oh this is not good…

“In my original dimension of Equestria, I…”

(A/N: Around this time in the story, i had the sudden urge for bacon, so i got up and made some bacon... Dumb was ready to do the KALI MA:N/A)

“You…what?” No freaking way…

“They attempted to dissect me, the Royal sisters and the Mane six. This also included you Lyra, but that isn’t the main thing.” Oh wow…I should feel lucky that she just tried to cut of my hand…

“I went berserk and… murdered the both Royal Sisters…and most of the Royal guard.” Wow, this is one tough son of a bitch.

I was looking at him dumbfounded. There was about a minute of awkward silence before he spoke again.

“However the Mane six arrived and connived me to resurrect t them, after that I entered a state of depression

and went into a self-imposed exile in the Royal Dungeon.”

“Wait…” Lyra stated, staring at him with a face of awe. I was to dumbfounded to even speak...

“You resected all those ponies, including the royal Sisters?” he simply nodded and continued…

“Indeed. However my exile only lasted about a week before Celestia found me and coaxed me out of hiding; she brought me before the others and gave me a proposition.

‘What kind?” I asked him.

“If I protect Equestria…I become its King...”  This was my reaction…

He had done the impossible, he had been able give me WTF moment…

“Interesting…”Lyra said as she looked at Storm with a strange face…I was still trying to get it around my mind of how he becomes king…

“So you are given the title of King in turn for protecting Equestira.” He nodded

“Anyways…we really should get back on track with the history, yes?” Oh fuck…I had completely forgotten about it.

“Aright Lyra listen up…Well, do you want the long boring version that will take us around several hours, or the short awesome version that will probably take ten minutes?” I asked. Please say choice 2, please take choice 2. Oh god…she’s going to take choice 1 isn’t she…

“I suppose the shorter, awesome " shorter " version will suffice until later…”

YES YES YES YES YES YES! THANK YOU M.BISION

So, all I have to do is go through all of human history in under 10 minutes…

Challenge accepted!

“Right then…Where was I? Ah yes warfare…”

“Wow…your race is certainly impressive.”Lyra murmured after absorbing all I had told her. Storm had done the random segment of information, but I think I did a good job. I looked outside and sure enough, the storm had ended. We had gotten out of the cave and had started walking towards Ponyville. Apparently Lyra knew the way back ALL ALONG! Warming up the orbital rage cannon!”

Akaward sclience is really annoying, and for some reason it KEEPS happening! Time to break out the random “Who would win” jokes!

“So Storm, I have a question.”

“Sure, what do you want to know?”

“Who would win in a fight, you or Chuck Norris?” I had been dying to ask him this. He gave me a “Really?” look…

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well considering you’re the all –Powerful and what not, I was wondering who;d you think would win?” no need to get snippy. I could see the gears turning in his mind as he thought about it.

“If I really wanted to beat him, I could. If it was me without the Editor, I’d die. If I was decently equipped like I am now…I don’t know.” Good points…But I still think that Chuck Norris would kick his ass either way!

Ok….he’s staring into space again…Must be talking to the crazy brit again! I went and waved my hand in front of his face.

“Storm, are you spacing out again?”

“Yeah… Just thinking I suppose.” I nodded and we all continued walking back towards Ponyville. When we finally got to the entrance/exit of the forest.

THE LIGHT, IT BURNS!!

WHAT!! WHAT!!! JUST WHAT!! On the field where Hoops and Dumbbell had been forced into servitude WAS A GIANT PATCH OF 20 FOOT TALL PUMPKINS!! There was a crowd of ponies around them, looking around at them with expressions quite like what I had just thought! Wait, I had planted pumpkins in this field… Oh god! I groaned and face palmed.

"Storm, I have 2 things to tell you and a word of advice...I am probably the one that made these, and there’s a good chance that there is going to be very angry farm pony coming down, and i would suggest you cover your balls...” he gulped.

“Well, let’s get this over with!” I exclaimed and walked over to meet my fate…

“Good bye my children…” Yup there she is… and she does not look happy…

GOD…Please help!!

And as if by magic, Dash suddenly droped down between us… Thank you god!

“Hold on you two! We can’t be fighting now, but rather-“

She looked to my right and saw Storm. And of Couse being the English person he is.

“Ello” He said calmly.

She turned and looked at me with the best what the fuck face I have ever seen.

“…Who’s he?” She said with a voice of confusion.

“The names Storm, pleasure to meet your Rainbow Dash… and you too AJ!’ he said cheerfully.

Please calm her down, please calm her down…or at least confuse her so i can hide!

“Well, Ah don’t know who yall are but Ah would suggest that you look away so yall don’t have to see this…” she said evilly…

Oh this is not going to end well...

AUTHORS NOTE!!

This was so fun to write, anyway expect another chapter either late today or early tommorw.

If you want to get into our skype call when we type add one of our names!

Me- matthew.montemore

Dumbgamer99- Dumb.. his picture is that of the one on his profile.

Cya guys next time!