Castle Insanity

Taking Place after my Previous Episode

Discord was walking down the hallway, reflecting on what he did just a few minutes ago.

FLASHBACK

Discord was writing a letter. It read:

Dear Queen Chrysalis,

This letter is to inform you of... what the heck. This letter says one thing: challenge. If I somehow manage to do a certain secret thing to you, I win. What this thing is, I have already decided. You don't want to know. This challenge will last until completion.

Love (hope you're hungry),

Discord

He wondered how worked up Chrysalis would get over some intense {censored} tweaking. Of course, she didn't know what it was... Walking up to a somewhat familiar changeling, he gave him the letter and asked him to take it to Chrysalis, then run out of the room before she finishes reading it.

END FLASHBACK

"DIIIIIIIIISCOOOOOOOORD" Chrysalis yelled, loud enough to rival the VOICE.

"Challenge Accepted, I guess..." Discord snickered. Cue the entrance of Black.

"Luna wants to see you, Discord." He said, before soarin' towards the heart of the city, where he would notice an oddly 'Great and Powerful' blue unicorn, who looked as terrified as if she had recently been chased by something with blades for hooves. The fact that there was griffon nearby was the reason he happened to glance in that direction in the first place.

Discord, having not a care in the world, decided that the best place to look for Luna would be in her lab. He would have to find a way to get in the pantry without becoming a knife storage rack, courtesy of Flambé. Would he succeed, and if he did, would he meet Ford Cruller? He arrived at the pantry. The cooks seemed to be prepared for his arrival, and soon he had to focus so that he could dodge all of their knives. One pony there seemed to have throwing knives as her special talent, and put them out at 50 per second. On top of that, she looked like a freaky flying maid, which unnerved him like nothing had. Curtain fire is always hard to dodge, but the real question was: HOW IN EQUESTRIA CAN THEY THROW 5000 KNIVES, AND STILL HAVE MORE?

Finally, Mr. Pincushion {Don't ask} made it to the pantry, and locked the door. Reaching for the lever, he braced himself for the fall. He pulled the lever, and waited. The fall never came, but an out of place tree trunk with a red lantern on the side slid out from behind the shelf, which swung out to allow it.

"I guess this means jump in." He thought.

"Please keep your hooves and wings inside the cart at all times." He did not.

Upon arrival at the lab, he found an evil looking Luna, and a Moony, sitting around a crystal.

"Discord, we need you. Although evil magic works on the crystal, chaos would probably give a more fun aspect to it all. Help me get revenge on Celestia for her meddling with my papers." Luna said. The moment the word revenge came out of Luna's mouth, Discord smirked. "Oh, and We need you to stop Black from touching the crystals and negating their curse/enchantment. Nice knives, by the way."

"Thanks. Black is gone, he's out for a tour of the city. Moo-ha-ha-ha-ha, what are we waiting for, let's begin!" Discord said.

"Moo-ha-ha?" Moony asked.

"Yes, Nightmare Moo-are we still waiting?" Discord suddenly switched mid-sentence. "I'm gonna start."

"Let us begin." Both Moony and Luna said in sync. Discord channeled his chaotic force into the crystal, while making the room sprout a forest of candy canes and drink parasols at the same time. Then the other two began to put power, Moony's being somewhat more evil, into the crystal, letting Discord's chaos do what it will with it.

"I don't like what you did with the pantry entrance, Luna" Discord commented once the charging was done.

"Then We shall pluck out your eyes!" Luna replied, with a maniacal laugh.

"That Is the purpose of the goggles." He said as she neared him. Then he realized that he didn't have any on. "Er..."

"We're joking, but we guess the crystals have begun to work."

Meanwhile

Celestia was sitting on her throne, defiling the newest batch of Luna's papers, when the crystal beside her began to glow. She galloped out, hoping not to be inside its range of influence. What she was met with, however, was a lot more horrifying. Down the hall, in each of the nodes of the castle, and probably in her bedroom as well, were places where she could probablly find one of these crystals.

They were all glowing, with an eerie, but somewhat intriguing light. She neared one, and it zapped her, making her horn look like a candy cane, and her wings turn into chocolate. Those wings weren't going to give her lift anytime soon, so the only option left was to deactivate the crystal. She tried, only to have the crystal reflect the candy cane beam of magic back at her. Both her horn and her wings turned into cake, and for five minutes, she tried to get at the frosting on them. She then noticed that a statue had fallen of its pedestal in her struggles, so tried levitating it back. Looking back on it, Celestia would realized that the statue should not have turned into cake. The fact that she ate such a priceless artifact, however, would amuse Discord for a long while.

Chrysalis, in the opposite end of the castle, was walking down the hallway, when she got fired at from one of the crystals hanging in the air. She somehow managed to dodge it, but within seconds, she had been hit by at least twenty. Wherever one of those beams hit her body, that part took on an earlier disguise she had worn. The fact that each patch contained a different disguise made her look even more a patchwork-like than Discord. The beams were still firing, so by the time it was over, she looked like everything at once. Then another, thicker beam shot at her, knocking her out, and at least fifty meters back. Her changeling guards had no better luck.

Back in the lab

"Nopony will get hurt, that I made sure of." Discord said.

"Er..." Moony said, hoping nopony would notice that her intentions were the exact opposite.

In the kitchen

"Everypony was wondering where where Discord had gone, since he wasn't in the pantry he clearly entered a few minutes ago. The fridge was watching them intently, and when nopony was looking, shot an éclair at one of their heads. They all slowly turned around, noticing the quite swirly crystal wall which had sprung up behind them. Looking back on it, at least three of them would have wanted to break off some of that crystal for 'recreational' use. On the other side was a fridge which looked quite evil. The thought of it made them all turn around in sync. When they turned back-SWEET SUN AND MOON DID THE FRIDGE MOVE?

"Don't blink."

Moony, Discord and Luna

The aforementioned characters walked through the chaos, though Discord intentionally steered them away from Chrysalis when he noticed her. A challenge is not fun to complete when the target is unconscious.

"Erm.... We think we overdid it, judging by the looks of Chrysalis. Weren't you saying something about nopony being hurt by this, Discord?" Luna asked.

"Well, that was what I was doing. If anypony had the opposite intention," he looked at Moony " then my attempts would have been neutralized."

"Don't blame me." Moony shouted, in a volume that completely disproved her claim.

"We already do..." Either Discord or Luna said. Your pick.

Celestia

"Yum!" Celestia exclaimed, having finished the Black Forrest Cake which was just a statue minutes earlier. She went out to survey the damage. The castle itself was surprisingly intact for what was now a mass of crystal, which emitted a pattern of light so... trippy... that it seemed as if it were warping itself. She was walking along the first floor corridor of the northern quadrant, and went through a door leading into the observatory. From this high vantage point, Celestia got a good look at the grounds. They were surprisingly intact, as though only the castle itself were under the effect. Speaking of the observatory, wasn't it on the fifth floor?

She went back through the door to be greeted with the inside of her room, which had a mass of ponies within it, each with their own story as to how they got in. One was looking for a secret way into her room when this happened. Looking around, she spotted a few Zebras and one Griffo-was that an Eldritch Abomination? She rushed out her door, leaving the group of confused creatures inside. Their confusion increased when Celestia rushed in through the balcony door just as soon as she had disappeared from view out the other door.

"Buck!" She swore internally. She somehow managed to keep her cool. This internal mechanism had saved her reputation many times before. The fact that it did not fail her now was comforting. She ran out, and almost tripped over an unconscious Chrysalis. She was unrecognizable, save for the little crown-like appendage sitting atop her head. It was her guards, though, who gave Chrysalis' identity away. Lighting her horn, Celestia brought Chrysalis back to the land of the living.

"What have I done this time?" Chrysalis asked, since this was the way she usually was woken up after being knocked unconscious by a guard due to one of her shenanigans. Of course, usually she'd still be in disguise or, at the very least, not looking like a patchwork doll.

"Nothing. But it seems-" Celestia was cut off as another beam from a crystal hit the Queen, and, well, you know the rest. This scene repeated itself thrice before Celestia thought to put a protection spell around Chrysalis {Note to self: Change Chrysalis' name to Crissy}. Though it did the job, being encased in cake wasn't something which one would enjoy. Luckily, Celestia was there to save Chrysalis from an eternity in said medium.

Meanwhile

Discord was thinking seriously, a hard task for him indeed, and decided that it would be better to get a certain Changeling Queen to join their party.

"Let's go look for Chrysalis." Discord finally said, realizing that this whole time, he was maintaining a protection spell against his chaos. He quickly dropped it, just in time for a mass of tentacles to round the corner and snatch his party up. He decided against the lack of protection, something he, Moony and Luna appreciated.

"Might as well, who knows what these things will do to her." Luna replied, wiping some slime off her back left leg. "Knowing Moony like We do, I'm betting she's directed most of the ill will towards her, and her changelings. That was when a snarling mass of shadow came in from a north-facing window and landed on the ground. Luna, knowing what it was, decided to put Sombra into a glass phial for the time being. This she teleported it to what she hoped was her room.

The walk to Chrysalis was uneventful, and when they reached her, she was awake. Celestia had just finished eating a cake which seemed to have been encasing the Changeling Queen, though Chrysalis' holes were still filled. Chrysalis was the first to notice Discord, and rushed towards him angrily.

"Look what you did!" She screamed. As she rushed towards him, he did not even seem to notice. As she neared him, he turned to the side, put out a leg, and tripped her. She did not keep her footing. Discord went calmly up to her, and began to

{SCROLL DOWN TO FIND OUT}

{THAT'S ENOUGH}

tweak her nose in every imaginable way. It's bad enough when somepony tweaks your nose, but when a paw is put through your (forcibly held) open mouth, stuck out your nose, and inverted to perform a tweaking operation on the latter, anypony would be forgiven for going mad. Chrysalis certainly did, promising hellfire and eternal torment upon Discord, in the form of a child {dafuq am I writing?}. Conclusion: Chrysalis was annoyed.

"Get this enchantment off the crystals, NOW!" Celestia's 'now' was accentuated due to a spaghetti monster flying through the corridor.

"Never. So long as I we three are in the area of the Crystals, this magic shall survive!!!!!!!." Discord said. That was enough to send Celestia into a smirk.

"Er... joking?" Discord said, hoping that Celestia wasn't going to send them all to the moon again. Celestia powered up her horn, which, as she has forgotten, was still made of cake. As the light reached levels that would temporarily blind any normal pony, they were gone.

At the unknown location

Lighting her horn, Celestia soon discovered that they were on the inside of an enormous, hollow cake. Were. By the time Moony had figured it out, the cake had ceased to exist. Moony must have been stunned, since it did not usually take 7 seconds for Nightmare Moon's mind to complete such a simple process.

"Get us out of here, Celestia!" All of the ponies in Celestia's room shouted, once they had gotten over the shock of a cake appearing, disappearing, and their benevolent monarch emerging. Celestia snapped.

"I'M DOING EVERYTHING I CAN AT THE MOMENT. DISCORD REFUSES TO DROP THE SPELL, MOONY AND LUNA WILL SUSTAIN IT IF HE DOES,  I CAN'T FIND ANY KNIVES TO CONVINCE THEM OTHERWISE, AND MY MAGIC IS CAKE THEME-WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" She yelled, being cut off by a flood of cooks, all running into her and pleading for mercy.

"The- The- The fr- The fridge. It's- horr- It's horrible. It's been chasing us for the past half-hour! Help Us!" A certain mare with a special talent for knife throwing screamed. Nopony was looking in the general direction of the door at that time. They all turned around.

"Run for your lives!" Flambé screamed, before running out the door, and back in through the balcony. Repeat. The third time, he stopped. "Oh..."

"Oh-ho-ho. The cooks, cooked. And by a fridge nonetheless." Discord exclaimed, in a tone of voice that ranged from a deep bass one second, to a high treble the next.

"It ate my sous-chefs! It ate all three of them, the latter two as soon as they were promoted to fill the gap," the head cook screeched at Discord, "and all you can do is laugh at my plight?"

"No, your sous-chefs are in the pantry, probably stuffing themselves without limits. This was my personal revenge against you turning me into a living knife rack." Discord said bluntly.

"Did you say pantry?" Luna asked.

"Yes." Discord replied. "Why?"

"Did you close the entry to the lab?" She whispered.

"How could I do so, and get in the cart at the same time?" Discord whispered back.

"That was the point of the new design. This way, you could jump in after pulling the lever back. This way, the entry doesn't stay open until you leave." Luna answered. "Didn't you wonder why We changed it?"

"So I entered, and the way I left it was as though the change wasn't there?" Discord defended himself.

"No, a BUCKING tree trunk is somewhat more noticeable than a hole in the floor, and far more interesting to jump in." Luna was on the verge of not whispering.

"The candy-cane forest smight deter them from the control crystal." Discord said, unaware that Celestia had just begun to eavesdrop, even through the clamor of the room.

"Let's make sure, this is more important than the fridge problem." Luna said. Coming out of a whisper, she continued. "Discord, lets jump into the fridge. Moony, you're coming with us."

"What?" Moony asked, before being picked up in a magical glow. "If I'm coming. so is Chrysalis." She proceeded to levitate the changeling queen to Luna.

"I guess it's time to show Crissy around, then." Luna responded, in a manner which only soured Moony's mood.

"What!?" Chrysalis yelled as she finally figured out what was going on. While they were all looking at Crissy, Celestia took it upon her to jump into the fridge.

"Let's go!" Discord exclaimed, pulling all of them into the fridge. The pantry was somewhat emptier than when he was last there, and he thought he spotted an ethereal mane just disappear through the tree trunk.

"Since the cooks took the cart already, we'll need to call it again." She lifted the red lantern, and a deep rumbling was heard. Whack!

"Oomph!" Celestia said, as the cart whacked her full speed into the pit on the other side of the tracks. Discord sadistically hoped her wings were still cake.

"What was that?" Luna asked.

"Celestia getting hit by the cart" Discord replied.

"Serves her right." Moony grumbled. Crissy nodded in agreement.

"Let us be off." Both Luna and Discord said in approximate sync.

In the lab

"Please keep your hooves and wings inside the cart at all times." The ride was uneventful, probably due to the lack of crystals in the tunnels. If Luna had been stupid enough to set some up in there, then the ponies still stuck in Celestia's room would have been wondering why a cart kept passing through the room, following the now well known balconydoor-maindoor route.

In the actual lab, they found the three chefs playing hoofball with the main crystal. Sadly, before any of them could do anything about it, the crystal hit the floor, and shattered.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" Moony screamed. Her voice was not alone. Discord watched the keystone holding up a castle-full of chaos shatter. The ground rumbled, as space-time was returned to its normal configuration. Discord began to weep.

In another universe

"[Insert Eldritch Abomination Name Here]'s got the flu? There's a first time for everything, I guess. This I gotta see."

Back in Equestria

"All that beautiful chaos, so much power in it, ruined. Why. Why? Why! It was to be the greatest prank in the history of Equestria. What possessed you to destroy it?" He said. He then realized what he said. "Oh right, that was me..."

"Er, where are we?" One of the now normal ponies asked.

"Nowhere." Luna replied. Just then, Celestia appeared, and it seems she was shouting something. Discord only caught the last part.

"...AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON." {Don't look for the entire thing on Google, especially not at work} Discord had no idea what that was supposed to mean. "Oh! The control crystal is broken."

"We rode in on a minecart, Celly." Luna answered. Chrysalis facehoofed when she realized what Celestia had finished saying.

"The crystal! Nooo." Both Moony and Discord started to cry.

The crystal being shattered, alongside with all it's siblings, save for the original, due to the magical shockwave, the castle returned to it's normal state of abiotic existence.

"Now what to do with my bottled Sombra?" Luna asked herself.

And they continued their life, as usual.

The End

{P.S. These brackets are author's comments, if all my thoughts were to be revealed, then this chapter would have been doubled (ha).}