Chapters Name’s Ron, never had a last name I was just an orphan and when I was young ran away from the orphanage with my friend Ricardo. We were both orphans from Detroit, we grew up in a hard neighbourhood and, after doing some underground work, we moved to Africa. It was Ricardo’s idea, he said there was a fortune to be made in blood diamonds so I clumsily went along with him. The whole blood diamond thing didn’t work and we were constantly just trying to survive until we found a new profession, hunting or rather poaching. It all started when a leopard attacked us and we just barely managed to kill it, after selling its hide for a large sum we figure why not do it again. So we bought a truck and some guns and did it again. But it wasn’t just leopards it was just about everything that was of value: lions, elephants, and cheetahs, basically whatever we could. We didn’t feel good about it, or at least I didn’t, but it was good money.
* * *
“Yeah just tell that to the next lion we meet” Ricardo laughed, “yeah it’ll be like the last cheetah” I countered, “hey, my gun’s magazine jammed and the rounds wouldn’t load” he argued “yeah and that wouldn’t have happened if you had of bough an SKS” I laughed. He grumbled to himself as he continued to drive “yeah well… how bout when your gun used to slam fire” he argued and I simply rolled my eyes “yeah but I fixed that, your gun still has feeding problems” I countered and he grumbled to himself “screw you, just keep looking for game” he laughed. I nodded and looked down the trail. The truck hit another bump and I bounced in my seat but was held down by my seatbelt, Ricardo however wasn’t wearing his seatbelt and his head hit the roof “god dammit” he roared, “you should really wear your seatbelt” I taunted, “yeah well… screw you, when did you become Mr. Law abiding citizen” he laughed.
I finished my inspection of my SKS and released the receiver forward with a CLICK. He looked over to me and chuckled “never gets old eh?” he asked, “what?” I asked back “that gun” he joked “oh funny” I chuckled sarcastically. “Yeah what’s that thing from 1950?” he taunted “1951” I told him crustily. “Yeah that thing belongs in a museum” he laughed “and yours belongs in a scrap yard” I countered, “hey” he exclaimed. It was true, though about a year of misuse his rifle was rusty and barely worked, on the other hand my rifle was always very clean, but this would be like the seventh rifle he’s wrecked. He scoffed at my comment and continued driving down the road.
I looked through the trees and spotted something but I couldn’t quite see what, it was getting late and was about 6:30pm. “Whoa hold up” I ordered Ricardo who stopped the truck almost immediately, “what is it?” he asked. “Don’t know yet… Lion or a cheetah but can’t tell” I informed him, all I had seen was a flash of orange. “Well only one thing to do” he chuckled as he slapped the truck into 4x4 and cranked the wheel and drove us into the thick jungle, the truck bounced as we tore through the jungle and I saw a lion look up at us and start to run, I activated the large flood lights on the grill bars and on the cab light bars. The forest seemed to illuminate and the lion was on the run.
“Shoot it Ron” Ricardo laughed and I cocked back the SKS and fed it a 10 round stripper magazine and slammed it shut, loading the rifle. I opened the window on the truck and leaned out, man if only I could see that, some 6’4” white guy hanging out the window of a truck with a Russian made rifle chasing down a lion, that would be on the frontline of every anti-hunting website in the world… fucking people have no respect for others just trying to get along in life. I tried to line up a shot but the truck hit a stump and bounced, throwing my aim off “keep her steady” I told Ricardo “it’s kinda hard man” he replied back, suddenly a bright purple light flashed in front of us and I lost consciousness.
My head throbbed and I rubbed my temple in pain, ‘Shit… what happened?’ I asked myself as I sat up. I looked around to see that I was in a very strange looking forest with some funky looking plants. I let out a sigh and I laid back down on the cold dirt, rubbing my throbbing head extensively hopping that the pain would simply vanish.
Well this was fantastic, stuck in some crazy forest in god knows where and the last thing I remember was… a purple flash of light, “hey maybe I’m dead” I chuckled as I lay my hand on my chest, reaching for where I always put my combat knife. It was there, along with the rest of the chest harness. I mustered the strength to sit up and look at myself, my camouflage was the classic style camouflage, proper classification was M81 camouflage but I like calling it woodland camo. My chest harness had taken quite a beating but the ammunition belt was still intact with a lot of the ammo still there to, along with my 6 inch K-bar knife. On my leg there was a strap with a knife sheath containing a devastating foot long bowie knife with a blade with a 1 inch thickness.
I looked off and seen my SKS rifle lying on the ground not too far from my current position, well I guess I wasn’t dead but this is one of those moments that I probably came closer to death than I’ll know. I tried to stand but quickly lost balance and ended up crawling over to my rifle. I clutched the rifle in my hand and opened the receiver just a fraction to see if I had a shell loaded, it was loaded and it was probably a live shell, considering that the rifle is semiautomatic it would spit out spent cartridges. I let out a sigh and fell back onto the ground “where-ever this place is… I don’t like it, gives me the heebie jeebies” I said out loud but then realized I was talking to no-one but myself, “figures” I muttered as I tried to get some rest on the cold ground.
* * *
I wasn’t sure how long I was out but it couldn’t have been for long because it was still very dark out. I thought I had heard footsteps, or rather I heard deadfall breaking under someone’s or something’s footing. “Hey Ricardo is that you” I yelled out and the footsteps stopped, “Ricardo stop screwing around man. I could have mistaken you for a…” I was cut off as a giant… thing, it had the body and head and stuff of a lion but the tail of a scorpion and had bat like wings. It swung its tail at me and I lept out of the way effectively dodging the attack. I unslung my rifle and lined up a shot on its enraged face and pulled the trigger on my SKS, BOOM, the gun thundered in the night and the shot seemed to echo on forever. Blood erupted from the creature’s skull as the 7.62mm round pierced its skull and severed its way through its brain and exited out the back of its skull, taking a large chunk of brain matter and skull fragments with it. The creature collapsed on the ground and I just simply laid there, completely freaked out at what the hell this thing was.
I came to my senses and quickly scanned the area for other hostile predators, I must’ve been sitting for some time because my ass started to hurt and I stood up and went to examine the creature. Nothing from my original description of the creature changed, well except the massive head trauma caused by my rifle. I let out a deep sigh “Ricardo you better not have put drugs in my coffee this morning” I yelled out and my voice echoed throughout the forest. I had never intentionally done drugs, only once had I ever done drugs and that was in Christmas of 2003 when Ricardo mad weed brownies and didn’t tell me that they were weed brownies and I ate 5 or 6 of them and got really high but other than that I was a straight edge, no drugs, no smoking, and I only drank on special occasions with Ricardo. I continued to look at the animal, even if this wasn’t a hallucination I bet I could get hundreds for this thing on the market.
My stomach rumbled and I looked down at my stomach “good thing I brought food eh?” I asked my stomach and quickly devised a little campfire and heated some water, even though military rations tasted kinda bad the odd one like the beef pack wasn’t too bad and I couldn’t really complain on the fact that I was hungry.
The meal was ready to eat pretty damn fast and I had a nice warm fire to sit beside now. As I sat there and ate I got this weird feeling like I was being watched and I turned to look into the black expanse of the forest “hey Ricardo I got beeeef mmmmm” I taunted as I took a tauntingly big mouthful of the food out of my tray. A terrifying wold howl was let out not 20 yards from where I sat and I immediately stood up, dropping my food to the ground.
I lined up my rifle from where the howl had come from and waited, but nothing came out, “come on you sons a bitches fight me” I challenged. Still nothing came out of the forest so I grabbed the end of a stick that’s top part was burning and brainlessly walked towards the darkened forest, the makeshift torch leading the way.
I stood 30 yards from my fire and started waving my torch around “hey stupid wolves” I taunted then thought about my words, ‘wolves?’ I asked myself ‘there aren’t wolves in Africa, dingoes maybe but wolves?’ I thought to myself but my thoughts were cut off as a set of illuminated eyes approached me, I lined up a shot but stopped as multiple eyes lit up and stood in front of me no more than 10 yards away from me.
Shit there must’ve been at least over a dozen, 15 maybe 16 wolves, or whatever they were. A set of eyes walked up slowly and came into the torch’s light and its face wasn’t like that of any wolf I had seen before, its eyes glowed pure yellow and it had multiple fangs and its face, good god what was wrong with its face. “Okay time to give pooch some facial surgery” I muttered as I dropped the torch and I lined up a shot with its head and pulled the trigger, the gun thundered for the second time that night and the wolf’s head disintegrated into a gooey red mess, I heard snarling as the eyes raced towards me “next” I yelled as I shot another wolf that came at me, but I slammed the round into its chest rather than its head. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, my SKS thundered in the night and the muzzle flare leaped out of the barrel each time I triggered a shot of, but the wolves kept coming, BOOM BOOM, then I turned and ran, I knew I had only 9 rounds because I had spent one on that lion-scorpion thing.
The wolves or whatever they were chased me down like prey, not giving up. I pulled out another stripper magazine and fed the gun another 10 rounds into its internal feed mechanism. I pulled out the stripper magazine and pulled the charging handle back and let it go, the gun’s receiver slammed shut and the gun was ready to rock but I was still running. “Piss off doggies I ain’t supper” I yelled as I spun around and fired off 5 more rounds, I seen two wolves’ fall and another whimpered and howled a painful howl. I spun around and continued running firing off the remainder of the magazine wildly into the night. I saw an expanse of open field and I pushed myself to the absolute physical limit and charged towards the end of the forest.
I burst from the forest and didn’t dare look back. I ran another 30 yards from the tree line and loaded up the SKS rifle with a full magazine and turned around but there were no wolf things chasing me. I walked with my chest puffed out “what’s wrong puppies? To scarred to come out into the open? Come on you scarred pieces of shit, I’ll kill all of you” I roared but still nothing came out “yeah well fuck you” I yelled and began randomly firing the rifle into the forest hoping to hip one of those things.
I emptied the entire magazine from the gun and loaded up a new magazine and turned around to look into the field. I realized at that moment that it was a field for a little while but then quickly turned back into another forest. “Shit” I muttered and walked disappointedly towards the pasture of apple trees, “they’ll probably wait till I’m asleep then eat me while I sleep” I muttered.
I approached the tree line but figured best to stay away from the wolf things and stay close to the open field as best I can. As I sat down my stomach rumbled, “figures, not only did they chase me away from my campfire but the bastards are probably eating my food as well” I muttered as I tried to get some sleep.
* * *
I probably hadn’t even been sleeping ten minutes when I heard soft footsteps approaching, ‘fuck off what now?’ I thought as I quickly lept up and leveled my SKS, “told yah it was weird” said a somewhat southern little child’s voice, “yeah but just what is it Applebloom?” asked another young feminine voice but this one was more… well sort of squeaky and had a higher dignity with herself. “Don’t know but it woke up the entire family” the southern one informed the other “yeah I could hear that from Ponyville but I just thought it was thunder until you called me” said another voice, ‘great three little kids get the jump on me’ I thought to myself as I pressed up against a tree. “Yeah Granny Smith and Applejack said tah stay inside while Applejack and Big Macintosh went out to look but ah just had tah see it fer myself” the little southern voice said again. “Cutie mark crusaders detectives” one of the normal voices peeped up as they walked closer. As they came closer I nudged around the tree to stay out of their line of view.
As soon as I was sure they were past me and had their back to me I spun off the tree and pointed my SKS in their direction. “Freeze” I yelled and they all stopped, “what the…” I trailed off as I looked at what looked to be 3 young… horses? “Can we move now?” one of the voices asked innocently, “don’t try anything” I ordered and they stayed frozen ‘what could some talking horsed do anyway, wait no hold on these weren’t horses they were too small, they would barely even reach my knees.
“Okay you can move just… don’t try anything stupid” I ordered them and they all let out deep breaths and turned around, okay not horses either, well one might pawn off as a baby pony but the others… one had wings and the other had a horn. “Gah” I gasped and took a cautious step back, okay now I know that Ricardo put something in my coffee this morning. “What’s wrong Mr.?” the one with wings asked, “what the…” I stopped before I swore thinking, whatever these things are they’re probably young and aren’t meant to hear swearing, but I’m probably hallucinating so… “Uh if you don’t mind me asking, what are you?” I asked curiously, “well that’s a dumb question haven’t yah ever seen a pony before?” the southern one asked, “yeah and they don’t talk, or have wings or have horns” I retorted, “where’d you come from then if ponies don’t have horns or wings?” the fancier one asked, “uh well…” I trailed off “well what?” the southerner one asked but then I heard voices more voices “ah heard something down this way” said a masculine southern voice.
“This day gets better by the…” I began but was cut off as one of the little horses or ponies or whatever grabbed me and began to pull me “come on if muh sister finds me out here ah’ll never hear the end of it” she pleaded and I scooped her up in my arms and ran, the others following close behind. “Wrong way, go back to the farm” the southern one informed me “what farm?” I asked and she yanked my head to one side “that way” she ordered and I switched directions. “Uh what’s yer name?” the pony in my arms asked “what?” I asked, “What’s yer name?” the pony asked again, “uhh my name’s Ron why?” I asked. “Well I’m Applebloom and this is…” she began but the fancier one cut her off “I’m Sweetie Bell and this is…” and she was cut off by the one with wings “Scootaloo”. I rolled my eyes, ‘ridiculous names’ I thought to myself as we entered yet another clearing but this one had a nice farm.
“Please don’t tell me some random redneck’s gonna come out and blast me with their shotgun” I pleaded, “what’s a shotgun?” Applebloom asked and I looked at her curiously, a southerner who doesn’t know what a shotgun… I trailed off my thoughts figuring it wasn’t worth the headache. “Where to now?” I asked and she pointed to the barn and I quickly ran to the barn and cracked open the barn doors and slipped in. “Okay Scootaloo, Sweetie Bell you should get outta here before muh sister and brother get back” she whispered and the nodded and zipped away in a comical fashion. “You can set me down now” Applebloom told me and I realized that I was still holding the little pony. I set her down gently “okay you stay in here for the night and tomorrow we can all figure this out” Applebloom told me and I nodded.
As she left the barn she let out a wave with her hoof, god this hallucination was weird. I looked around the barn and shuffled together some straw and hay and made myself a makeshift bed and laid down. I laid my SKS beside me and thought ‘I’m gonna kill Ricardo’ and quickly fell to sleep.
I heard voices outside and was immediately awoken from my sleep, “ah’m tellin yah sis he ain’t bad” cried a little voice that I could remember “ah told yah not tah go outside last night now steep aside and let the grown-ups handle this” ordered another southerner voice, except this one was more… older I suppose yet still a younger feminine voice.
I quickly scooped up my SKS and looked around for a suitable hiding spot, the only place I could see was a platform directly above the door, I shrugged and scampered up the wooden ladder and crouched cautiously and waited for those… things or ponies or whatever to make their move. “Applejack please, he’s muh friend” pleaded the little pony that was named Applebloom, man they all had such weird names. “Applebloom get out of the way dearie if that thing came from out of the Ever-free it could be dangerous” warned an elderly woman’s voice, actually I bet she was a god dammed pony as well, ‘Ricardo I swear to god I’m gonna ring your neck when I find you’ I thought to myself.
“He ain’t dangerous and he ain’t from the Ever-free” Applebloom argued, “then where is he from” the voice, who I presumed belonged to who Applebloom had called ‘Applejack’, asked “ah don’t exactly know” Applebloom replied, “then we can’t take unnecessary risks” Applejack informed Applebloom, “please don’t kill him” Applebloom pleaded, “ah won’t ah’m just not takin any chances” Applejack replied and with that the barn door creaked open and a lone orange pony walked in with a pitchfork held in her mouth, figures they don’t have hands so they hold them in their mouths. She approached where I had been sleeping and looked around “he ain’t here” Applejack informed the others outside. I kept low hoping she wouldn’t spot me.
“Well Applebloom maybe yer friend wandered off” Applejack replied as she let out a deep sigh and started walking out of the barn, I let out a deep sigh as well but unfortunately the floorboards underneath me creaked from my weight and Applejack looked up and let out a screech of fear and I lept from the platform and did a front flip in the air and landed on the ground, I rolled then came to my feet and spun around and looked the pony in the eye, she had green eyes, blonde hair and orangey fur. “Whoa Nellie, hold yer horses or else” she threatened, frightened by my obviously larger body mass, while the other one called Applebloom stood at barely my knees this one stood at my hip level. “Or what?” I asked casually, “hey don’t yah make me fork yah” she threatened as she brought up the pitchfork and waved it at me.
I approached her and yanked the pitchfork out of her mouth and threw it like a dart into the wall of the barn, it stuck violently into the barn wall. She stood there wide eyed and frightened. I rolled my eyes “hey chill I ain’t gonna kill you for your hides” I laughed but they apparently didn’t see the humor in it and Applejack took a cautious step back. I looked to Applebloom and waved and she waved back “if I was here I would’ve shot you already” I informed her and slung my SKS across my back.
“What are you” Applejack managed to ask, “uh a human, ain’t you ever seen one of me before?” I asked and she shook her head. I sighed “listen, I ain’t gonna kill you, so let’s all just be friends okay” I suggested and she nodded and a big red pony that stood a little higher came forward and nodded at me “eeyup” he managed and I let out a sigh “I’m from earth, you know like the world?” I told them like I was trying to talk to a retard, “where’s earth? Is it somewhere else in Equestria?” Applejack asked and I rolled my eyes “what the hell is an Equestria?” I asked and she snickered “where have you been your whole life? Under a rock?” she asked in a hearty laugh, “no I’ve been in Africa” I informed her and she looked at me suspiciously “I thought you said you were from earth” she replied, “yeah you know like, Africa? The place on earth that is war torn?” I asked stupidly. “Tell us about this earth” Applejack asked and I rolled my eyes and began explaining to them where I was from.
* * *
So 3 long boring hours later I finished my story about how I got here and what had happened last night, well I left the part out about shooting the lion thing and the wolves and being a poacher and all that. “So all yah remember is a bright purple light” Applejack asked “yeah, oh and some crazy ass lion thing with a scorpion tail and some mean wolves” I replied, “you mean a Manticore and Timber wolves” she replied. “Hey I seen Timber wolves before and those ain’t no Timber wolves” I told her and she laughed “that’s cause they’re zap apple Timber wolves” she informed me. “Okay whatever” I muttered as I got up.
“Where yah goin” Applebloom asked curiously “home” I said bluntly, “how yah gonna get home, yah aren’t sayin yer gonna go back into the Ever-free again are yah?” she Applebloom asked, “if it means I get home yes” I told them and began to leave, abet rudely so I turned and looked to them with a hearty face “thanks for the hospitality” I mentioned but Applebloom ran in front of me and stopped me “aren’t yah gonna stay fer breakfast?” she asked with widened puppy dog eyes, god that was freaky how she could… tears started coming to her eyes and it was like my heart melted. “Okay I’ll stay for breakfast” I muttered reluctantly and she jumped in the air “hurray Ron’s staying fer breakfast” Applebloom cheered and started hoping around like some character out of an old 80s cartoon.
“Yah’ll never get rid of her now” Applejack snickered, “unless yah break her heart”. I rolled my eyes as the led me into what I presumed to be their house. We entered and I had to duck down under the doorway, guess they never expected to have someone of my height in their home. I set my SKS by the doorway and followed them into another room “Applebloom make room for our guest while I get breakfast ready, is salad and apples okay for your breakfast Ron?” Applejack asked, I shrugged “whatever you make I’m sure it’ll be delicious” I told her in a charming voice “charmer huh?” she asked rhetorically and went to the kitchen as Applebloom showed me the dining table and they all sat down, except Applejack who was busy in the kitchen.
I looked across the table to the big red pony that had called himself Big Macintosh, “so uhm nice place” I complimented and he simply nodded and replied “eeyup”, “you uhh ever have many guests?” I asked trying to make conversation “eeyup” he replied again. “Guess not many are like me huh?” I asked rhetorically, “nope” he replied bluntly, “don’t talk much eh?” I asked, “nope” he replied. “He’s kinda shy” Applebloom informed me and I nodded “take a seat Ron” Applebloom offered and I looked down to the seat in front of me, it was somewhat large and could probably support my weight. As I sat down I heard the seat creak and immediately stood back up “I think I’ll just sit down on my uhm bottom” I said trying not to swear, she was probably young as far as this culture went and I didn’t want to make a bad impression.
Applejack came back, somehow she had 5 trays of food balanced on her back and nose and somehow managed to get all the trays on the table, “thank mam” I said politely and she let out a hoot “just call me AJ, all muh friends do, and yah can knock of that polite gentle-colt thing we ain’t on a date yah know” she laughed “I see, well thanks anyways” I said as I took a bit out of an apple and they all looked at me curiously, I let out a sigh “uh, am I supposed to eat it with like a utensil or…” I trailed off and realized that they were staring at my fingers. I looked at the backside of my hand to make sure there wasn’t a bug or something then wiggled my other hand’s fingers “cool eh?” I asked and Applebloom nodded. I continued to eat breakfast and they all watched me in amazement, like some idiot family watching a David Suzuki documentary about penguins or something.
We all finished our breakfast and I nodded to Applejack “hey thanks it was delicious” I said politely and she let out another laugh “ah think yah’d be perfect talking tah Rarity” she laughed and I remembered what she had said about my manners “uhh okay” I stuttered. Applejack somehow managed to collect all the dishes and went back to the kitchen, Applebloom dashed off “come on Ron we’re going to go cutie mark hunting” she laughed as she darted out the door. I looked back across the table and Big Mac and Granny Smith got up and started to leave as well. I stood up and walked into the kitchen where Applejack was washing dishes and I walked up behind her to give her a hand, funny, a ‘hand’… yeah anyway. She looked at me with curiosity written all across her face “thought yah said yah were going back home?” she asked, “not yet, I couldn’t just come in, eat and leave. Figured might as well help you for your hospitality” I told her as I started to wash a plate that had salad dressing on it “thanks, it’s kinda nice havin an extra hoof around here tah help out” she mentioned and I looked to her “you mean a hand I said wiggling my fingers and she laughed “yeah or a hand”.
We stood there for maybe 3 minutes chatting about the most random of thing, “uh so if Big Mac’s your brother who’s…” I trialed off, “who’s who?” she asked curiously “yah know like Mr. Applejack?” I asked, she let out an embarrassed gasp “are you flirting with me?” she asked as her cheeks blushed red, “no, but I’m waiting for some pony to come in with a shotgun and say ‘get away from my wife’” I told her with a chuckle, “and what makes you think ah’m married?” she asked turning back to the dirty dishes “uhm” I said as I tried to think up why I had thought she was married “I don’t know, funny, charismatic, honest, likable” I began but she interrupted me “whoa Nellie are yah sayin yah think ah’m cute?” she asked again blushing furiously, “well don’t know, see I’m of a different species and that is kind of weird” I told her “weird how?” she asked. I blushed as over 1 million thoughts raced through my head “trust me it’s… uncommon” I told her.
“Not sure how it would be weird yah seem like a nice enough guy, I mean Pegasus and Unicorns get together and they’re different” she explained, “whoa now hold on that’s like dogs and wolves and… wait a minute are you flirting with me?” I asked and she simply blushed and began furiously washing dishes again. “Well to be honest I guess if I was a horse loving guy you would be kind of cute” I told her, I hadn’t really thought about it, and I never had a relationship before so I had never really been attracted to females (or males). “Well yer kinda cute” she whispered sheepishly, I chuckled “thanks” I said politely “they say it’s the greatest thing a gal can do for a guy is to say he’s handsome, or at least that’s they say” I laughed and we both started talking about random things again, dropping the recent subject and hopefully it wouldn’t be brought up again.
“So any Mrs.?” she asked, ‘figures’ I thought to myself “no, never” I told her bluntly, “why not?” she asked curiously. I put
The fox was chasing the chickens around they chicken pen and trying to catch one, “darn-it, Applebloom get muh...” Applejack began but I fired my SKS into the air and everything stopped and looked at me, even the fox. The fox shrugged and began to chase chickens again and I fired a round close to his feet, kicking up dirt and debris into his face, he yipped and scampered off leaving the chickens at peace. “WHAT IN TARNATION” Applejack exclaimed, “uhh” I mumbled “what is that thing?” Applejack asked “an SKS rifle” I told her “and that thing does what exactly?” she asked, “uhm well where I come from there’s these things called guns…
The great and not so powerful Trixie
I sighed as we left the library, I was still conflicting with myself why I wanted to go back to earth so damn bad. I mean like come on this place was great there was: peace, no wars (that I knew of), and everything or every-pony creature seemed to get along. We were walking through the streets but I didn’t see any ponies anymore “you think I scarred them all off?” I asked Applejack and she shook her head “doubt it” she assured me and we continued walking until we heard some feminine voice, like a stage actor or a stand-up comedian “Hail the great and powerful Trixie” the voice bellowed for all to hear, “great and powerful, maybe she can help me” I muttered and ran towards the voice’s origin “hey Ron where are yah goin?” Applejack yelled out from behind me, they were all following me closely “to see this great and powerful chick” I told her as I slowed down my run when a large group stood in my way.
I scrunched my nose and began pushing my way through the crowd “Sorry… sorry mam… excuse me… pardon me… don’t mind me…” I apologized as I moved my way through the crowd bumping several ponies and finally came to the front of the stage. “Behold the power of the great and powerful Trixie” she boasted as she pulled a rabbit out of her sorcerer’s hat “ohh cool” I yelled out but sevral other ponies booed and yelled things like “get off the stage you fraud” or “we all know it’s bogus”. I lept up onto the stage “hey, don’t say that this little pony is amazing” I yelled out and every pony gasped. “Little… you think The great and powerful Trixie is little?” she asked obviously irritated by my comment “oh sorry no offence… but anyway don’t judge her she’s actually really good” I yelled out, I mean the only real magic I had seen was Twilight levitate a book.
“Exactly at least this… one moment please” she yelled out as she put her foreleg around my neck and brought me down facing the opposite direction of the crowd. “Hey what are you?” she whispered, “a human why?” I asked “okay just go along with this okay” she ordered and pushed us back towards the crowd “for my next piece of magic I will cut this… beast in half” she exclaimed, “hey wait a minute I never” I began but she gave me a cold look and I nodded, I kind of needed her, if she was as magical as she said she was then perhaps she could get me out of this place. Every-pony in the crowd seemed to be bored and a few let out sarcastic yawns.
She levitated me into a box which I just barely fit into and closed the lid “as you can see my subject has been placed in this box and now I will cut him in half” she proclaimed and levitated over a saw and began cutting through the box, I felt a sharp pain as the saw cut into me “OWW hey that hurts I take it back let me out” I screamed but she simply laughed and kept cutting. “God dammit let me… OWWW FUCK” I roared as the saw continued cutting through my stomach and several ponies in the crowd gasped as blood began leaking out of the box and splashed onto the ground “GAH FUCK” I yelled in excruciating pain. “Stop this madness” Applejack screamed as she pushed through the crowd but she was too late, the other end of the box fell and my lower half flopped bloodily onto the ground. “GAH, I’M GONNA FUCKIN KILL YOU” I roared as I ripped myself out of the box and rolled onto the ground, unslinging my SKS from my back and standing up I put the gun right against the side of her head “stupid fuckin… wait a minute” I gasped and it seemed as if there was one big gasp as every-pony in the crowd looked at me.
I looked down and realized that I had both my legs and that neither my jacket nor shirt was torn, and on top of that I had no blood on me, well minus the blood on my boots from the blood on the stage. “How’d you that?” I gasped and she simply tossed her head to one side, swaying the hair out of her face “Magic” she yelled out and every-pony began to clap, “now for my next trick” she began but this time I swung her around “hey would you mind doing a trick for me” I asked she scrunched her nose “Trixie usually doesn’t do favours for other unless they do something for Trixie” she informed me and I rolled my eyes “okay boss, what’s the plan?” I asked and she thought to herself for a moment. “Hmm I will think of some way you can reward Trixie later” she said in a somewhat seductive tone.
I looked side to side “uhm” I trailed off, “we shall think of it later, let me do one more trick then I’ll do yours and then you’ll have to reward Trixie with whatever she wants from you” she offered, well I couldn’t really refuse I mean if her magic worked on me then I’d be gone back to my world and I wouldn’t really have to do whatever she wants and considering that I’m helping her out with this then I really don’t understand how it could really go bad. “Alright deal” I said and she extended her hoof “promise” she asked and I rolled my eyes and shook her hoof and we turned around towards the crowd.
She shot a smoke of dust between us and the crowd and when the smoke vanished there was a tall box in front of us “behold the power of Trixie” she boasted and I looked at the box ‘how the hell’d that get there?’ I wondered and Trixie began pushing me towards the box “get in” she whispered and I obliged and she closed the door. I heard multiple clinks and clacks and presumed that she was locking the door. “As you can see my subject is now trapped in this box with no escape” she began “and now The great and powerful Trixie shall stab multiple swords through this box” she explained. I kind of half expected like a trap door or something to open up for me to fall through but instead 8 swords stabbed through the metal box through little holes made to fit swords.
I cried out in pain as the swords sliced through my body, it felt as if they really did cut through me but as I looked down I realized that the swords, even though they looked like they were stabbed in me, really weren’t, or maybe they weren’t real but I really didn’t know. I let out more painful yells and I heard Trixie snickering and heard gasps in the crowd as I realized that the bottom of the box was filling with blood, my blood or probably not my blood.
I felt all the swords retract and it felt as if the pain completely disappeared, like it had never happened, “now mares and gentlecolts my dear subject could have never survived that brutal treatment” she yelled out to the crowd and unlocked the door. “Unless” she began as she swung the door open and every-pony in the crowd gasped “unless of course he was saved by The great and powerful Trixie’s magic” she boasted and every-pony in the crowd cheered like it was some great act of magic, actually it kind of was I had no idea how she did that but now I just wanted to get out of here but I was conflicted again of why I wanted to go back so badly, what was really waiting for me? A dirt shack? A crappy meal? Whatever it was I wanted to go home now.
“Thank you, thank you now if you don’t mind The great and powerful Trixie has to” she began but I cut her off “she’s going to pull off one last act of magic” I yelled out and she shot me a cold glare, “that’s right she’s going to perform a magic trick that will send me back to my home” I yelled out and Trixie gasped as every-pony cheered. “The great and powerful Trixie never agreed to that” she burst out and I heard laughing from the sky above us as a light cyan blue pony with wings, Pegasus I think was what they were called, flew down from the sky “what’s wrong Trixie not up to the challenge?” the Pegasus laughed, taunting her. Trixie stuck her nose up in the air “hah The great and powerful Trixie can do anything she wants” she boasted.
I had about enough of her crap “yeah well Twilight got me here so if you’re as good as you say you are you should be able to get me back right?” I challenged, and she gasped at my comment and looked into the crowd at Twilight “it figures that once again The great and powerful Trixie must save Equestria from this… Beast” she scoffed and I rolled my eyes. She stepped back and her unicorn horn began to glow and magical sparks emitted from it “try not to zap him with a bolt of lightning” the Pegasus taunted and Trixie lost concentration and a bolt of energy flew towards me, I was at this point really expecting to go home.
The bolt of magic struck me and it felt like a sledgehammer just slammed into my chest. My body was sent flying and I landed on the stage about 5 yards away from where I had recently been standing. “That’s not fair the one known as Rainbow Dash distracted The great and powerful Trixie” she explained hastily as I staggered up “you better not kill me or I swear to god I’ll come back from the dead to kill you back” I groaned and she readied herself again.
Magic sparks once again began emitting from her horn as she readied a blast and once again the Cyan Pegasus blurted out “lightning” and Trixie once again lost concentration but this time it was like a lightning bolt that shot out and I couldn’t have done anything to dodge it. The lightning bolt struck me in the chest and burned o hole right through my camouflage jacket and undershirt and left my chest smoking as the force of the lightning strike sent my body tumbling to the ground. Trixie and the Pegasus began arguing “I said not to interrupt me” Trixie screamed “well if you’re soooo good then a little distraction shouldn’t bother you” the Pegasus argued.
I staggered up but the entire crowd seemed to be fixated on the fighting couple. I unslung my SKS and fired it into the air. The air seemed still and every-pony starred at me and I was seriously pissed off now “alright Trixie I swear to god if you shoot me again you better kill me this time or I’ll kill you, and Rainbow Fast… STOP FUCKIN HER UP THIS REALLY FUCKIN HURTS” I yelled and her ears drooped down and her tail went between her legs as she shied away. “Now would you please do it” I asked with an irritated tone. Trixie nodded and took a large ‘GULP’ and readied herself once again and I gave her a wink of confidence. A magical blast erupted from her horn and I flinched, expecting to be hit by like another bolt of lightning or something. The energy blast struck me and I all I could see was a blue flash of light.
I jumped up in a strange bed in some shitty looking trailer, as my eyes adjusted I heard familiar voices “that is all The great and powerful Trixie has time for” Trixie boasted and I heard a cheer come from the crowd. “Fucking fraud” I muttered as I kicked down the door to the little trailer and ran up the backside of the stage. I pulled out my Bowie knife and cut through the curtain, which resulted in screams from multiple ponies, including Trixie.
As I ripped through the curtain I looked to Trixie “you fucking fraud, I just got transported to some shitty ass trailer behind stage” I yelled and she blushed in embarrassment as ponies began to boo her, damn right I was going to boo her to. Rainbow Fast started laughing “just like how you could defeat the ursa major right?” she laughed and Trixie began to cry and ran off stage. Okay now usually I was pretty cold and heartless but that kinda made me feel bad.
I looked to the crowd “That’s all folks” I told them with a shrug and a few ponies chuckled and the crowd quickly dispersed except for 4 ponies and the Pegasus plus the dragon known as Spike. “Nice way to put her in her place man” Rainbow Fast said “I may not have the same heartlessness as you do Rainbow Fast” I told her and she laughed “Rainbow Fast ha that’s hilarious, my name’s Rainbow Dash” she chuckled and darted off to the group that had stayed for the show. “Shouldn’t we like apologize or something?” I asked and the Rainbow one laughed once again “after all she’s done she deserves it” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Fine but I still feel bad” I told them and ran off in search of the unicorn that called herself… ah fuck the nickname I’ll just call her Trixie.
I tried to find out where see had gone but realized that tracking a pony in a world of ponies wasn’t going to be easy, I hadn’t even gotten 10 feet from the back of the stage when I realized this. Then I heard sobbing from a trailer and heard teenager voices laughing cruelly “take that Great and lame Trixie” one of the voices laughed “yeah Great and not so powerful Trixie” another voiced laughed as I heard a THUD from what sounded like a stone hitting wood and I looked to see 3 Pegasus, young probably teenagers based from their child like behaviour, throwing rocks at the trailer I had come out of earlier. “Hey knock it off” I roared and one looked to me “buzz of bozo” one of the Pegasus ordered but I walked closer “hey I said leave her alone” I yelled and one of them walked over “hey Dum-Bell, Hoops looks like this guy is a smart mouth” one of the Pegasus commented and walked boldly over to me with his chest puffed out “don’t try it” I chuckled.
“Oh yeah buddy, I think your outmatched here, now we’re gonna beat you ass” he laughed and they all charged me. I was no slouch I usually used my free time to work out and stay in fit and a lot of my work out time was devoted to hand to hand fighting, I quickly sidestepped and close lined the first punk, the swipe kicked another punk and knocked him to the ground. The last punk ass Pegasus tried to fly up so he could punch me with his hooves but I slammed my fist into his exposed stomach and he fell to the ground landing on his knees, I gave him a brutal hay maker punch to the side of the head and knocked him out cold. The one I had close lined jumped on my back but I reached behind my head and grabbed him by his hair shaggy hair and yanked him over me and smashed him into the hard pavement, knocking the wind out of him.
I looked to the other Pegasus I had swipe kicked who was getting his footing and gave him a spin kick to the head, knocking him out cold as well. I knelt down beside the Pegasus that had acted all tough earlier “you laugh at her again and throw rocks at her home… I’ll kill you all with my bare hands” I threatened and he nodded with a wince of pain. I stood up and walked to the trailer where I could still hear crying coming from.
I knocked on the door, “leave me alone” Trixie sobbed, “awe come on Trixie let’s just talk eh?” I offered but I heard something smash against the door and I backed up “leave me alone this is all your fault” she sobbed. I got close to the door so my face was literally touching it “awe Trixie don’t be like that I thought your magic was awesome” I told her but another object smashed against the door and I backed up again. “Hey, are you gonna try and talk to her all day or what?” Rainbow Dash taunted “hey shut up” I told her as I tried to sooth Trixie again. Rainbow Dash landed by all the guys I had just knocked out “what happened to them?” she asked, “they were making fun of Trixie” I informed her and she gulped “oh… I see” she stuttered in fear and I looked to her “don’t worry you’re alright in my books” I told her and leaned up against the door again. “Well we’ll all be at Sugar-cube corner when you’re done doing whatever” Rainbow Dash informed me and I nodded.
She flew off and I leaned into the door “now come on Trixie let’s just talk” I offered but again something was thrown at the door, “now Trixie you can either talk this out or I’ll rip this door down” I ordered and she threw something else at the door “leave me alone” she cried and I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t one to lie so I gripped the door handle and yanked the door of the trailer and Trixie screeched “gah, get out of here” she yelled and threw a vase at me. I caught the vase and set it down “chill out Trixie you’re gonna blow a blood vessel” I warned but she simply buried her head in her pillow and cried, it was a funny sound that emitted from the pillow that kind of sounded like… I don’t know but it was kind of funny, not her pain and anguish but the sound from the pillow.
I walked slowly up beside her and knelt down, resting a hand gently on her shoulder, I could feel her deep breathing, god was she really this emotional over a failed magic act, perhaps she was bullied as a child. “Hey Trix, come on cheer up” I offered but she did something I never thought she would do, she lifted her head up and full on kissed me, and not just a little kiss but like full on French kiss, it kind of tasted weird, well I guess that’s because I had never kissed a horse before so I didn’t quite know what to expect.
I broke away from the kiss “whoa what the hell was that?” I asked confused by her sudden change of mood and she lept on top of me, knocking my body to the ground, “it’s time for my reward” she said in a seductive voice, okay now this was just wrong, sure I had said Applejack was cute for a pony but now I had some horny unicorn on top of me pretty much asking me to fuck her brains out… “nope not gonna happen” I blurted out and stood up.
Her eyes began to tear up again and she began to sniffle “but… but you… I thought you cared for me?” she asked, “well yeah, I mean you’re a nice gal, but come on I mean I only just met you and besides, you’re a bloody unicorn and I’m a fuckin human for Christ’s sake” I explained but she got another seductive look to her face and I shook my head “oh no way” I told her as I began to back up but found that I couldn’t, not out of primal desire or anything but I literally couldn’t. I looked down to see my legs and hands were bound to the floor by blue magic and Trixie crawled up onto my body and pushed me down to the floor and nestled her nose into my neck, “oh come on the isn’t funny” I yelled out, I outside to see one of the Pegasus I had knocked out getting up “hey buddy help me out here” I yelled out but he simply laughed but then to my horror Trixie levitated the busted door back into place.
“No-pony can hear us now. So it’s time to give me my reward… I want you to make me scream, oh Celestia make me scream” she moaned as she rubbed her groin area against my leg. I struggled to get out of her magic but couldn’t “oh hell no, I ain’t letting my Virginity get taken by some crazy horned up unicorn” I yelled and she stopped. “You’re a… a virgin?” she asked and I looked her in the eyes “yeah and I wouldn’t like my first time being raped by some” I began but she shoved her hoof in my mouth, I gagged and she whispered “just follow my lead”.
My muscles tensed, ‘last chance’ I told myself and let out a terrifying roar and struggled to get out of her magic spell. To my amazement, and relief, I burst from her magic and lept up and she fell to the ground “sorry Trix but you’re a nice gal and all just… I don’t know find yourself a good guy I ain’t a good guy trust me” I told her and barreled through the door and ran down the street away from her trailer. She yelled out to me as I ran “I’ll get you for this I swear it”.
I rounded a corner and sprinted down the street “Sugar cube corner… gotta find Sugar cube corner… gotta find…” my panting stopped as I ran towards a house or candy store… something and figured this had to be it. I burst through the door and saw the 5 ponies that had stayed around, there was Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash then there was a pink pony and a white unicorn plus Spike. “Hey” I gasped between breaths, “what’s wrong Ron, sounds like yah just ran a mile” Applejack asked curiously, “I actually might have” I gasped trying to get my breath. Rainbow Dash began to laugh hysterically “ha look Ron must’ve peed himself” she cackled and I looked down to see that where Trixie had rubbed her… well you know. It was absolutely wet ‘Man she must’ve wanted me really badly’ I thought to myself, “well Ron did you soil yourself?” the white unicorn asked, “Uhh yeah” I lied, figuring it was probably best to lie rather than tell them that Trixie had almost raped me in her trailer. “Uhhg that’s revolting we must get you another pair of cloths immediately, to the boutique” she ordered, I let out a sigh “yeah, that sounds like a great plan” I sighed happily as I looked with a disgusted look at my pants which was soaking wet with pussy juice.
“Take of your cloths” Rarity ordered and I gave her a dumbfounded look “uhh why?” I asked suspiciously, “well how am I supposed to take measurements of you with you cloths on? All the measurements will be off” she informed me and I let out a depressed sigh “all of them?” I asked. “No, just your pants and jacket… by the way I think I’ll be burning your pants” she told me and I looked down at my pants, really I kind of wanted to burn them myself. So I obliged her orders and took off my tattered jacket and pants and stood there as she pulled out a measuring tape.
I flinched as the cold measuring tape touched my skin, “what’s wrong?” she asked. “That’s cold” I complained and she rolled her eyes. As she was taking measurements she put her hoof over her nose, “uhh you got a nosebleed or something?” I asked curiously, “no but you’re taking a bath after this you smell worse than… than smelly garbage” she complained and I sniffed my armpit and coughed, Christ I smelt like I had just swam through a river of liquid garbage. “Good plan” I told her and she finished her measurements and pointed me towards a door “just hurry up and please don’t punish my washroom with your foul odor” she ordered me and I gave her a sloppy salute and proceeded to the washroom.
I won’t lie it had been sometime since I last had a shower, or a bath for that matter, probably about 3 months. The water was nice and warm but I didn’t want to take too long I just wanted to get out of this crazy world but I still wasn’t sure why… maybe it was just home sickness. I got out of the shower and grabbed a towel, drying myself off and walking back into the boutique… or was the boutique like her home and the washroom was like part of her house? I didn’t know really.
I looked to my old cloths and grabbed my jacket, for all I cared I hoped that Rarity did burn my pants. “Please don’t tell me your putting on your old cloths” Rarity barked from behind me and I jumped, “Jesus, holly shit… is that for me” I asked taking notice of a brand new set of cloths, it was a fine tailored shit and over coat along with some brown trousers. “Don’t tell me you don’t like it” she exclaimed and I shook my head, “no-one’s ever given me something like this before… I mean Ricardo’s given me new coffee mix for Christmas but nothing like this” I told her as I looked at the coat, “how long did it take you to make this?” I asked curiously. “Not long dear just put it on and see how it fits” she ordered and tossed me the cloths which landed on the floor in front of my feet.
I quickly put on the cloths and stretched my arms out to see how it fit, “pretty god damn nice” I said with a smile, “you really think so… I think I could have” she began but 2 ponies wearing medieval style armour barged into the room. “They must want a refund” I muttered and smiled. “Ms. Rarity please come with us… and you too Mr. Ron” they ordered. “Hey whatever it is… I didn’t do it” I joked but they kept a serious face on, “uhm friends of yours?” I asked Rarity and she shrugged “the princess must need something very important, let’s go” she told me and began walking out of the boutique.
I thought about all the things that could go wrong and figured to take my rifle along just in case. Grabbing my SKS and an old style desperado hat off a rack I left the boutique and looked for Rarity who was now sitting on a carriage attached to two Pegasus. “Please sir, if you would to get into the carriage so we could depart” one of the warriors ordered politely and I simply hoped on the carriage. “Hey I don’t remember giving you that hat” Rarity exclaimed, “guess that means I borrowed it” I chuckled and she jabbed me in the ribs with one of her hoofs “just ask me next time, I’ll be happy to make you one. I let out a small chuckled and leaned my head over the carriage as we departed and lifted off the ground. “Oh my god we’re flying” I told Rarity who rolled her eyes “that’s what Pegasus’ can do you know” she told me and sat back like royalty.
* * *
The ride was actually kind of over rated, you’d think flying in a carriage pulled by mystical horses would be awesome but it was kind of like taking a long car ride, your legs get sore and you end up twitting your fingers to pass the time. “The princess is awaiting you in the throne room” one of the guards informed us and Rarity did a bow and preceded towards the castle, I nodded with a smile and followed her. She nodded to 2 guards at the front doors and they let her pass but when I walked up they crossed their spears in front of me. “Please, relinquish all weapons or harmful objects you may be carrying” one of the guards ordered and I unsheathed both my knives and handed them to him. I nodded and he gave me a suspicious look “what about that object on your back?” he asked and I looked to my SKS “it’s my walking stick, don’t worry it’s harmless” I lied and he nodded and let me pass. “I thought that thing was dangerous” Rarity hissed, “it is but no one separates me from my rifle” I told her as I followed her around the castle.
Finally we came to a set of large throne room doors and I whistled. The doors opened and I saw the group of ponies from earlier plus 3 new ones, the was a light yellow Pegasus with wings, a dark blue pony and a white pony with both wings and a horn, but it was strange they stood at almost eye level with me. As we approached them Applejack turned to me and nodded “ah like the choice of cloths” she complemented, “yeah thanks. Rarity made them for me” I told her as I joined the group.
The 2 larger ponies approached the group and the other ponies bowed down, Rarity nudged me “bow down” she whispered and I gave her a curious look “why?” I asked quietly. She let out and irritated sigh “because, those are the princesses” she whispered and I looked to the 2 large ponies, “nice to meet you” I said as I extended my hand in formal greeting, the dark blue Pegasus/Unicorn pony accepted the greeting but the larger one scolded her “Sister that is not how we greet our guests”, the blue one withdrew her hoof and nodded in apology.
“Greetings Mr. Ron, I hear that you have been transported here by accident and wish to go home” she began and I nodded “yes mam” I replied and she nodded. “When you came here were you accompanied by another one of your species?” she asked curiously, “no mam, just me. I woke up in some crazy forest and had to fight my way out last night” I informed her and she nodded. “Well as much as we would love to give you your wish to go home we cannot until a certain catastrophe is stopped” she began. “Oh boy here we go” I sighed and Rarity gave me a jab to the side, the white princess nodded “it would seem that another human has been sent to Equestria except this one isn’t as kind and whole-hearted as you” she informed me “he has been murdering countless ponies and has nearly wiped out an entire city overnight”. “Ricardo” I gasped and she looked at me suspiciously “pardon me?” she asked, “it might be Ricardo” I told her, “I thought you said you came alone” she asked suspiciously and I nodded “well I woke up alone but before I got teleported or whatever, I was in my truck with my friend Ricardo” I informed her.
She looked at me even more suspiciously now “you’re friends with this… appalling human?” she asked and I nodded “we uh grew up together in Detroit and uh we have been together ever since” I informed her. “Luna if you would please escort Mr. Ron out of the room while I talk privately with the element bearers” she ordered the blue one, okay so she was Luna. Luna nodded and looked to me and nudged her head towards the throne room doors. I followed her out of the throne room and she closed the massive doors.
“Our sister is unsure if she can trust you” she informed me and I looked to her “so? Send me back to earth than” I joked and she gave me a serious look “could you stop your friend?” she asked and I let out a deep sigh. “I… he’s my friend… my only friend and… I don’t know maybe he’d be willing to listen to reason” I muttered, “so, yes?” she asked. I looked her in the eyes, like I was talking directly into her soul “I can only try” I told her and she nodded. “My sister may have you placed under arrest for being associated with your friend. But you may be the only hope for Equestria, do you know where he may be?” she asked and I thought to myself, “Ricardo doesn’t like to go far from hunting grounds so… if he was transported to the same forest I was then he’d most likely still be there” I told her and she nodded “the Ever-free” she muttered and I shrugged “yeah sure” I said figuring might as well agree with her she probably knew more about this place than I did.
“Follow me” she ordered and we started running through the palace towards the entrance. We burst through the front doors and one of the guards stood in my way, ‘shit’ I thought but he handed me my knives “don’t forget your knives sir” he said with a blunt voice and I smiled and grabbed my knives “thanks” I said and continued to run behind Luna.
We approached a carriage attached to 2 Pegasus “to the Ever-free and make haste” she ordered and the Pegasus nodded and I hoped in the carriage “hey uhm… thanks for everything” I said thanking her but she hoped in the carriage as well “sorry but I’m coming with you” she told me. “WHAT!” I exclaimed, “you can’t, I mean you’re a princess and this is dangerous and… you could die” I tried to convince her, “I’m coming with you or I’ll have you arrested right now” she countered, damn she had me cornered “Alright fine you can come with me” I sighed “Driver to the Ever-free place or whatever”
The carriage landed near the edge of the forest I had escaped from earlier and Luna excused the Pegasus flying the wagon and explicitly ordered them to not tell anyone where we had gone. As we entered the forest I checked the checked my gun to make sure it was loaded, of course it was I hadn’t unloaded it. 10 rounds, 2 spent on kicking up dirt that left 8. I checked my pockets and realized that most of my equipment was in the camouflage jacket, all I had was 8 rounds and my 2 knives, didn’t matter I only needed to talk with Ricardo and convince him to leave with me and things would be fine.
I stopped and looked at a footprint, it was a boot, the same treading pattern that Ricardo had but he was accompanied by another set of prints. The other set was that of a small horse, ‘figures, he gets another partner’ I thought to myself. I got up and Luna looked to me with curiosity “what’s wrong?” she asked, “shhh” I hushed and she put a hoof to her mouth, “these tracks are fresh, less than a day and it’s my friends footprints” I whispered and she nodded. I continued to follow the trail quietly and kept low as I stalked along the trail. I heard branched being crushed behind me and I stopped and looked to Luna, “what is it” she gasped quietly and I tapped my ear. “We don’t understand” she whispered.
“You have to be real quiet or my friend will shoot you dead and uhm… try not to make any sudden movements when we meet him” I whispered and she nodded. I turned back around and continued quietly along the trail and Luna followed close behind, I respect her for trying but Ricardo was going to hear us a mile away if I continued on with Luna. “Whoa hold up” I whispered and Luna froze and peered around the forest “what do you see?” she asked quietly, “don’t know but I think I can get closer… stay here and keep watch” I ordered and she nodded ‘sorry Luna but you’re going to give me away’ I thought to myself.
I continued along the trail of footprints and I thought I heard something. I stopped and listened closely, it sounded like… voices. I crept along through the shadows of the trees and approached the origin of the voices. I saw a small little makeshift camp and quietly crept up on it, my SKS leading my way. I crouched down beside a tent and looked around. The voices sounded like they were coming from the tent and I looked around at the rest of the camp: small fire pit, rotisserie, the double barrel .577 and a little butchering station which was currently covered in blood and guts, ‘defiantly Ricardo’ I thought. I crept over and picked up the double barrel and slung it across my back and grabbed the box of ammo and looked inside of the box ’10 shot’ I thought to myself and went around to the front of the tent and pointed it at the tent “Ricardo come out” I ordered but he didn’t answer instead he continued his conversation with whoever he was talking to “yeah so anyway we were just driving along and BAM” he went on. I snarled “RICARDO GET OUT HERE NOW” I ordered but he continued his conversation “anyway so I wake up with this throbbing headache and the next thing I know” he continued but I had no time for this.
I unzipped the tent and barged in with my SKS pointing towards the voice. The voices continued their conversation but it wasn’t really Ricardo, just a recorded tape being played on a cassette player. “Fuck” I whispered and ran out of the tent just as a shot rang out through the forest and a hole was torn in the tent. I lept behind a tree as another shot flew past me. I laid down on the ground and the grass somewhat covered my body, another 2 shots were fired and 2 well placed holes were torn through it, if I had of been crouched down I would’ve probably been shot.
“Hey Ron nice of you to join us… come to bring me in?” he asked, crazed by god only knows what. “Ricardo just listen to me man” I yelled out and another shot went off, ripping a large hole through the tree. “Ricardo man, listen we could both be sent home… you know back to earth” I yelled out. “Nah I think I like it here and besides you really think that after all I’ve done that they’ll just let me walk away” he laughed insanely. He had a point, I doubt that the princess would really let him go after all this, “listen uhh… Ron tell you what, let’s just join forces and take down the government here, then we could run things our way?” he offered. “No deal Ricardo now put down your gun and let’s talk” I yelled out and he laughed. “Alright let’s talk” he said in a calm voice and I believed him foolishly and stood up and approached the camp, a thunderous boom rang out and a .308 round tore through my left arm “gah fuck” I yelled and fell to the ground in pain.
I began to roll sideways as more rounds tore up the dirt beside me as he tried to shoot me. I rolled behind a tree and tried to ready my SKS but found it to be extremely painful. I looked at the wound, the round had torn through my bicep but hadn’t hit the born and had passed right through. I painfully grasped my rifle and peeked out the side of the tree, I saw a glint of Ricardo’s rifle scope just as a shot went off and a chunk of the tree exploded beside my face and sent splinters into my face. I winced in pain and pulled the larger splinters out and slide down the tree. 3 more shots thundered and .308 put a trio of holes in the tree in a perfect triangle.
I rolled to one side and lined up a shot but memories of our childhood raced through my mind, I couldn’t kill my only friend, we had been through so much together. Apparently he didn’t mind killing me however as more rounds erupted beside me, thank god he was a terrible shot. I rolled to one side and crouched behind a tree, leaning out to one side I took an aimed shot at the general area that the scope glare had come from. I heard Ricardo let out a scream of pain, ‘shit I didn’t mean to hit him’ I thought to myself and stood up, another .308 round boomed and tore through my upper right chest and kicked me to the ground.
I landed with a THUMP and rolled to one side as more rounds erupted and kicked up dirt from my previous location. I took cover behind a tree and looked at my chest, it was bleeding profusely but hopefully I hadn’t been hit anywhere vital. I grasped the rifle tightly and spun around the tree and fired off a trio of rounds, the SKS boomed and sent 7.62x39mm rounds propelling through the air. They fluffed up some dirt but didn’t hit Ricardo, which for some weird reason gave me a sigh of relief. Another BOOM echoed and a .308 round hit me in the lower gut and knocked me back, but I kept my footing, another round exploded in the air and tore through my right leg, I fell to my knees and rolled.
Blood began to soak my overcoat that Rarity had crafter for me, no doubt she’d want to wash it or something. I swung out from the tree and yelled out “Ricardo last chance give up or” I yelled but he interrupted me by shooting me with another .308 round which grazed the left side of my chest and cut the muscle surrounding my ribs. I let out a yelp of pain and fell to the ground. Blood leaked out and began to soak into the dirt. I rolled to the side but was caught in a magical blue aurora and lifted into the air.
Ricardo stood up, “nothing like a bit of magic to help me out eh” he laughed. “You aren’t a fuckin spell caster…” I gasped in pain as blood trickled down my body and dropped onto the ground. “No but she is” he laughed and pointed to a blue unicorn that stood beside him “TRIXIE” I snarled and gritted my teeth, “this is what happens when you mess with a mare’s heart” she snarled back. “It’s insane, she actually approached me while I was gutting the frigging horse and asked to join me… can you believe that shit” he laughed. “Horse fucker” I snarled, “hey what we do together is private and besides I know you’re fuckin that redneck chick, you know the one at the farm” he laughed. My eyes went wide “yes that’s right I know where you’ve been this whole time” he laughed insanely.
I gritted my teeth “stay the… fuck away from them” I snarled but began to stutter in pain. “Oh please don’t give me that, I mean what are you going to do? Call that blue unicorn thing over to fight?” he asked and my eyes once again went wide. “What you didn’t think I heard her tramping around with you a mile away” he laughed and I gritted my teeth as he lined up his rifle “well see you around Ron” he laughed as he pulled the trigger on his rifle, a .308 round burst from the muzzle of his gun and slammed into my shoulder, it felt as if my shoulder literally exploded. I gripped the SKS tight to make sure I didn’t drop it and with an extreme amount of pain searing through my body lifted my SKS rifle with grunts of pain and pointed it at Trixie and Ricardo, Trixie gasped and with her magical enchantment threw me through the forest away from their location.
Her magical aurora disappeared and my body hurtled through the air, breaking tree branches and crashing through small trees. My body finally slammed into a tree and I fell to the ground. I grunted in pain and tried to stand up, it was painfully hard but I managed, if I hadn’t had such a hard life I probably would’ve just rolled over and died. I began staggering through the forest and Luna quickly flew down to me “let us help you” she offered but I continued on through the forest. “Please let us help” Luna pleaded but I somehow just kept staggering. Blood soaked through the coat and trickled onto the ground, leaving a trail of blood.
“I can make it” I grumbled in pain, “yes we believe you can make it, just please be kind to yourself and allow us to help you” she pleaded. I gritted my teeth as I saw the exit to the forest and staggered violently towards the exit. I let out grunts of pain as my body tried to stop me from continuing but I had a strong will.
We left the forest and I fell to my knees and collapsed but caught myself by putting my hands out. Blood oozed out and dripped onto the ground, I had been shot before but not this many times at once. “There, you are out now please let us assist you” she begged, “why do you care so much if I die” I gasped in pain and she walked over to me and lowered her head beside me “because you may be the only one who can stop him, and if you die and I could’ve stopped it I would have to live with yet another guilt” she whispered soothingly. I winced in pain and stood up “but if I couldn’t make it to a house by myself, I should’ve been dead… at least let me make it to a house” I told her and began staggering, I saw a small beautiful little cottage “see that cottage if I can make it there on my own then I could’ve made it there had I been alone. That way it’ll sooth my inner tension about how close to death I was” I muttered. “You have some strange morals” Luna mentioned as I staggered towards the cottage.
My vision began to blur as I neared the cottage and I staggered more often, she leaned her body into mine to support me “I don’t need help” I gasped, she looked to me “we are not helping we are simply guiding you, it’s more like making a path for you” she told me and I chuckled “you have… a strange sense of kindness” I laughed painfully and she shook her head “and you, you have a strange sense of humor”. I managed to get up the steps and opened the door to the cottage and staggered in, blood still dripping. A puddle began to start on the floor, no one was home, even if I had managed to make it this far I still would’ve just died in this cottage.
I fell to my knees, Ricardo had bested me every step of the way, he was better and I deserved to die. “For all my sins… may God have mercy on my soul” I gasped and collapsed finally, images of me and Ricardo playing together in the streets of Detroit started going through my head. I heard a gasp and looked towards where it had come from. It was the yellow Pegasus from the throne room, “oh my goodness” she peeped and quickly raced over to my side and looked at my wounds. She quickly turned away and raced off muttering “I can fix this, I can fix this”. I chuckled as more images of Ricardo and myself played through my mind, this one was when we were working for the Mafia, then more images played of how we had went to Africa. The yellow Pegasus returned with a medical kit and opened up my coat to start treating my wounds, I grabbed her and brought her face close to mine “Thank… thank you” I gasped quietly and my head flopped back onto the floor and my world went black, images of Ricardo shooting me one final time and Trixie standing beside him played through my mind, he had bested me and that’s all there was to it.
Author’s note to readers:
So just so you all know this isn’t the end of the book but it’s been kind of fun writing it so far, any of which I just thought I’d say it’s pretty cool that people are actually reading this book, I thought like 1 person might read this book but it’s all right and I just wanted to say thanks for reading my story it means alot that people will actually read a story (even if it's probably not that good)
I groaned as I rolled over on the medical bed and felt for my right shoulder, it was there but I could tell by the amount of medical bandages that I had some severe damage done to my body. I rolled back over and faced the roof, the machine beside me beeped and informed any doctors that I was alive, “man this sucks” I grumbled. “Yeah tell me about it” said a dopey voice from beside me and I looked over to see a grey colored Pegasus in the bed across from me, she had some messed up eyes and I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me or at the wall.
I disregarded the pony’s weird eye configuration and got up, I wasn’t in an extreme amount of pain but I still winced in pain. “Whoa what happened to you?” the strange eyed Pegasus asked, “uhh a friend of mine did this to me” I muttered, “well that’s not very nice” she laughed. I chuckled to “yeah well we aren’t friends anymore” I informed her, “why not?” she asked curiously as I sat down beside her. “He tried to kill me” I told her and she let out a gasp, “my name’s Ron by the way” I told her as I extended my hand. She reached out one of her hoofs and shook it rapidly “name’s Derpy nice to meet you Ron” she said.
I looked around, not many other ponies were in here, I hoped to keep it that way. “So uhh what’d you do to get stuck in here?” I asked and she laughed, “oh I broke my wing” she laughed and extended her wing in a cast and flapped it “but that’s nothing compared to what you looked like when you came in” she told me seriously. “How long have I been in here?” I asked, “oh just 3 days” she informed me casually. 3 days, how the hell did my wounds heal as much as they had in 3 days? “So uh how do I get out of here?” I asked but Derpy simply shrugged “you’ll have to wait for a doctor or nurse to come in then tell them you’re ready to go” she informed me.
I looked around “and how long does it take for a nurse or doctor to come around?” I asked, “ohh sometimes it takes hours” she laughed but I didn’t, I couldn’t just sit around for hours waiting to tell the doctor I wanted to go. I looked to the monitor which continued to beep healthily and I looked to the needle that was reading my pulse. I grabbed the needle and yanked it from my arm and the monitor flat lined. “What are you doing” Derpy gasped and I looked to her “getting out of here” I chuckled as 2 nurses and a doctor ran into the room.
“Hey doc good to see you, listen I’m ready to leave now” I informed him but he gave me an irritated stare “get back on your bed you can’t leave until we say you can” he ordered and he left the room along with the nurses and locked the door behind him. I flopped back down on the bed and starred at the roof “hey Derpy what’s there to do anyway?” I asked and she looked at me “not much just sit around and wait” she informed me.
I let out a depressed sigh but she caught my attention when she grabbed a book “hey Ron can you read this to me… I can’t read very well and no one really has the time to read to me” she asked. I stood up and walked over to her and looked at the book. “Daring Do and the Mystic space ponies?” I asked curiously, “yeah I love the saga but usually can’t find anyone to read to me” she informed me and I opened the book to the first page and began reading…
Daring Do proceeded through the vast desert plains, thirst seemed to strike every last ounce of energy from her body…
* * *
And with that Daring Do yelled out to the space invaders “don’t you dare come back or I’ll whip your hinds again. THE END
“Wow, Daring Do is so awesome don’t you think?” Derpy asked, “yeah she’s really… something else” I said trying to find a good word to describe her but simply failed. “Just like you right?” Derpy asked happily and I looked down at the book and yawned “I suppose she’d kind of like me, except her story ended well” I told Derpy and looked out the window.
It was night time and I realized that I had just spent the entire day reading to Derpy. I walked back over to my bed and laid down to realize that there was a tray of cold hospital food waiting for me. “Ech” I groaned as I pushed the food away, I had tasted hospital food before and it didn’t taste very good. “If you don’t want your food can I have it?” Derpy asked politely and I got up and handed her the tray “help yourself” I mumbled and she immediately started to down the food. I sat back on my bed and closed my eyes.
* * *
I awoke to feel a hoof tugging on me. I shook my head and wiped my eyes to see Derpy above me, “morning” I grumbled, hell it must’ve been like 5am the sun was just rising. “Morning” she said with a bright smile, I grumbled and rolled to one side “I just wanted to say goodbye and that I hope you get better soon” Derpy told me and I looked to her “leaving already?” I asked and she nodded “yep doctor said I’m all good just have to take it easy for a while” she said happily. “Well Derpy it was really nice meeting you” I told her and she waved as she left the hospital room “hope everything turns out alright for you” she said as she left. She disappeared from my sight and once again the doctor closed the door behind him.
I let out a sigh “I need to get out of here” I told myself as I looked around, the window maybe but I didn’t know how far it dropped, “dammit” I muttered and stood up and began walking around, ‘need an escape plan… need and escape plan’ I thought to myself but my thoughts were interrupted as the 6 ponies I had met the other day plus the 2 princesses walked into the room. “Thank god… listen you gotta get me outta here” I whispered but the large white princess shook her head. “Listen to me Ron if you ever dare put my sister’s life in danger again” she threatened. I chuckled “then kill me” I offered and she let out a gasp and I looked her in the eyes “come on kill me, do your worst. You really think that an idle threat like death is gonna scare me” I laughed and she stepped back.
I looked to Luna “sorry about not letting you join in on the fun” I joked and she nodded. “Ron we appreciate that you kept us out of harm’s way” Luna said thanking me, “meh don’t mention it… actually what happened?” I asked and they all looked at me seriously. “Fluttershy patched you up and Luna transported you to the hospital, you were in pretty rough shape when they brought you in” Twilight informed me and I nodded and turned to the yellow Pegasus that I assumed was Fluttershy “thanks” I told her and she shied away sheepishly “don’t worry about her she’s just a little shy” Rainbow Dash told me and nudged me in the ribs.
I winced but realized that no pain seared through my body. I looked at the medical bandages and began unwrapping it. “Holy shit” I muttered as I looked at my body and realized that all my wounds were healed up completely. “There’s no way” I mumbled and Twilight squeaked in happiness “actually I used a healing spell to accelerate your healing process” she informed me and I nodded in appreciation. “So what about Ricardo?” I asked and the larger princess gave me a cold gaze, after your failed attempt I sent 3 dozen royal guards in to dispatch of your friend but none have returned” she informed me and I nodded, 36 horses in medieval suits wouldn’t be enough to stop Ricardo, not by a long shot.
“All right let’s get out of here” I told them but the larger princess stood in my way, “I never got your name” she asked and extended her hoof “Ron, but I think you already knew that” I grumbled “well I haven’t met you professionally so… my name is Celestia” she informed me and I shook her hoof “nice to meet you… Celestia” I said politely as always and looked to the others “I’m gonna need my things” I told them and Rarity gave an irritated sigh “do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of a fine coat and shirt?” she asked and I thought to myself about that time a lawman had chased me down and shot me and how long it had taken me to get the blood stains out of my coat. “Sorry about that” I apologized and she levitated out the cloths she had made me but all the holes were stitched up and one top of that a bandolier had been added from my old jacket, “I found these on your old jacket and figured they were probably for that thing you carry around” Rarity said with a smile as I began putting the clothes on. “And uhm… here I uhm… made you this in case you need it” Fluttershy said sheepishly as she handed me a medical saddle bag with a belt. “And yah might need this back” Applejack said with a wink as she gave me back my SKS, I nodded and slung it across my back “oh and these” Pinkie Pie offered and handed me my knives along with some assorted candy. “And this thing” Rainbow Dash offered handing me the large double barreled .577 T-Rex plus the ammo. “And I enchanted you cloths with a small film of magic so that Trixie can’t grab you with her magic” Twilight informed me and I looked at the cloths and back to the group “thank you all so much… I… I don’t know what to say” I stuttered and Celestia came forward “only promise that you will stop your friend no matter the cost” she ordered and I nodded “I can only promise that I will do my best and if my best isn’t good enough than I’ll die trying” I promised and she nodded.
“If you don’t mind I’d like a little while to relax… I don’t exactly have a battle plan” I asked the group and they nodded. “Well Applejack if you don’t mind could you spare an extra spot at the table for supper?” I asked and she blushed, Rainbow Dash leaned over and whispered in my ear “got the hots for AJ?” she joked and I kept a straight face as we left the hospital, I’m not quite sure why I had asked Applejack’s of all ponies to stay at while I constructed a plan but I just did.
* * *
As Applejack and I walk down the dirt path we passed multiple small forested areas but one caught my attention. A dirt trail was made by a set of tire tracks and I looked into the forested area. “What’s wrong?” Applejack asked, “something might actually be good” I told her as I followed the dirt trail made by the tires. I stopped when I came into view of it.
It was my 1979 Ford Bronco “yes baby that’s what I’m taking about” I yelled and raced towards the truck. The front grill bars were a little dented and one of the lights were smashed but the truck looked to be fine. I opened the door and looked to Applejack “get in” I laughed and she looked at me “why?” she asked curiously “because this is faster than walking” I told her but she still didn’t really understand what was going on but agreed anyway and hoped into the truck. “Move over” I told her and she hoped into the passenger side and I lept into the driver seat. “Please baby work for me” I prayed and twisted the key for the ignition. The truck rumbled to life and I let out a cheer like I had just won an epic battle.
“Faster than walking?” she asked and I put the truck into reverse and slammed on the accelerator and the truck’s engine roared as the truck bombed through the forest and back onto the dirt road. I spun the steering wheel and centered the truck on the path and slapped the truck into first gear and put the accelerator right to the floor and the truck launched itself down the dirt path, I slammed it into second gear and continued racing down the path. “Faster than walking” I told Applejack who nodded in agreement.
What would have taken at least a ½ an hour to walk took 3 minutes in the truck. I slid the truck in front of the barn and the truck skidded to a halt. “YES” I yelled out in triumph, “whoa easy there you ain’t won the war just yet” Applejack teased and I nodded to her in agreement, sure I hadn’t won but this truck was going to make it a hell of a lot easier. I got out of the truck and helped Applejack out as well and we walked towards the farm house, I had a wide smile across my face.
As we walked up the steps on the front porch Granny Smith opened her eyes. “Oh that’s so wonderful, you two look absolutely perfect together” she chimed and we both blushed. “Oh I’ll get supper ready” Granny Smith offered as she got up and walked inside, “oh don’t worry yourself Granny ah can handle it” Applejack offered, “that’s sweet dearie, it’s so nice to have grandchildren like you” she said happily and I followed Applejack into the kitchen.
“Uh so what do you eat for diner?” I asked and she looked to me “hay and grass” she said bluntly and I heard my stomach turn in disapproval “just kidding, how’s salad and apple fritters sound?” she asked and I nodded sounds good” I agreed happily and we began cooking together. I finally let go of my want to go home, now that I had lost Ricardo I had nothing to go back to, I understood now that Ricardo was the only thing keeping me going but now it was time to move on, to give up my old ways and start new. I looked over to Applejack and smiled “what?” she asked curiously as she cut the lettuce for the salad and I nudged closer to her.
She blushed and nudged closer to me, soon our bodies were touching and we both blushed, “uhh Applejack ah know we just met an all” I began but she let out a laugh and turned to me “yah just ah” she laughed and I realized I had just slurred my speech and sounded a little more southerner. I chuckled and began my sentence again “so I know that we just met and all but I think… I mean I just wanted to say” I began but she put her hoof to my mouth to silence me and hoped up on her hindlegs and put her forelegs around my neck “ah know sugar-cube” she whispered and leaned closely towards me “AJ ah… I mean… I” I stuttered but was cut off when she closed her eyes and leaned closer to me. “Oh my, well I knew you two looked cute together” Granny Smith interrupted us and Applejack stopped and dropped back down to all fours “oh uh Granny Smith ah was just showin Ron here how tah…” she trailed off, “don’t worry dearie I think it’s wonderful that you two like each other” she began and I felt as if the moment was perfect. Sunlight beamed through the window and it highlighted Applejacks freckles perfectly and she looked really cute. I smile and brought myself closer to Applejack once again “I love you AJ” I whispered and she lept up on me again like she had before.
Granny smith continued on her story “oh I remember when I met your grandfather, oh the fun we had. We used to sit by the warm fire in the winter and” but she was cut off as a thunder BOOM rang out and the window behind me shattered. I lept to the ground and cradled Applejack under my body so that glass debris couldn’t harm her, I looked to Granny Smith, she had a large hole in her side from a bullet entry. Her eyes starred off into nothingness, she was dead.
Granny Smith just lay there, motionless. Applejack looked over to her body and screamed out in anguish and attempted to rush to her side but I held her tightly “stay down and away from the windows” I ordered and she looked into my eyes with saddened eyes. I rolled off from over top of her and kept low to the ground, I had left my gun by the door and trying to get to it would give Ricardo a clean shot at me. Big Macintosh came down the stairs quickly to see what the commotion was about, I lept up and tackled him to the ground just as a trio of rounds erupted and tore up the staircase where he had recently been standing.
I held him tight and rolled our bodies behind a wall, “stay low, out of sight… where’s Applebloom?” I asked feverishly and he looked at me with frightened eyes. I shook him “where’s Applebloom god dammit” I yelled and he looked up at the roof of the room, “up there” he whispered and I looked up at the roof, “fuck” I scowled as I rolled across the hallway, more rounds tore up the flooring behind me and I got up and lept for my rifle.
Snatching the SKS in my hands I grabbed the elephant rifle and slung it across my back and charged up the stairs as Ricardo fired off more rounds towards me but failed to strike me with even a single round. I was lucky he wasn’t a very good shot. Charging up into the second story of the house I looked around, there were 3 rooms but I heard crying coming from one of the rooms and darted into the room and lept onto the floor as another .308 smashed into the house and grazed past me, he was getting better. I looked side to side for the little filly and spotted Applebloom under her bed.
Letting out a sigh of relief I motioned to her to come over to me. She crawled out from under the bed and towards me ever so slowly. I grabbed her and held her tight and whispered in her ear “shh don’t worry I’ll make sure your safe I promise”. And she buried her face into my chest as an eerie silence began, I began to crawl out of the room, holding Applebloom close to my body and when I finally got out of the room let her go. I was breathing heavily, “are you okay?” she asked and I nodded and began to creep back down the stairs.
I spotted Applejack and her brother behind a wall and one of them had retrieved Granny Smith’s body, Applebloom immediately saw her elder Grandmother and cried out as she began to run towards her body but I grabbed her and yanked her body just as a rifle shot rang out and a .308 round exploded through the wall in front of her. I held her close to my body “don’t worry I’ll keep you safe, just don’t run in front of any windows and stay low” I ordered her and she nodded. I broke the railing on the staircase and hopped down then lowered Applebloom down onto the ground floor of the house. I leaned up against the wall and looked to Applejack. “Is there any place you can go that is relatively safe?” I asked and Applebloom piped up “the clubhouse” she told me and I looked to Applejack and she nodded. “Okay leave out that side of the house, he’s shooting from the west so if you stay out of sight and head east until the forest you should be able to avoid him” I told Applejack and pulled out the medical kit Fluttershy had given me and handed it to Applejack. She refused to take it “yah’ll need this more than ah do” she refused but I persisted “no, trust me I don’t… I know now what has to be done” I said with a wink. She took the medical kit and placed it in her saddle bags and looked to me with saddened eyes.
I let out a sad sigh “sorry it didn’t end very well” I apologized but she leaned forward and kissed me, I closed my eyes and wrapped my hands around her neck and embraced her closely, wishing the moment would never end. She broke away from the kiss and I nodded, she turned to Applebloom and Big Mac and motioned for them to follow her. As she left my sight I gave a wave and whispered “goodbye AJ”. I put my hand into the overcoat and felt alongside the left side of my ribs, it was wet. As I pulled my hand out of the over coat I saw that my hand was covered in blood. I chuckled and got back up and gave myself a nod.
I charged out the front door as more rifle shots boomed in the distance but Ricardo couldn’t lead me and the rounds always hit behind me. I slid up behind the barn and walked cautiously alongside the wall until I reached the far end of the barn. I peeked out and looked off towards the field, there would be no scope glare since he had the sun to his back, but I was hoping to see maybe a silhouette of his body, or maybe Trixie’s bright colours would give him away. A shot rang out and I ducked behind the barn but the shot didn’t hit the barn, I looked back towards where the shot had come from. Another shot rang out, he was shooting at the side of the barn I had slid to, I lined up my rifle. I had never added modifications to the rifle so it still had the classic notch sight and was kind of difficult to do long range shooting. I did a quick mental check, he was about 250-300 yards away, I readjusted the notch sight for 300 yards and lined up the rifle’s sights with his body outline. I breathed slowly and lowered my heart rate, I took a half of a breath and held it in and steadied my rifle, I waited and listened for my heart beat, I pulled the trigger just as my heart took a beat and the SKS thundered. I ducked behind the barn again, I didn’t dare try to spot my handy work, not with proper cover.
.308 rounds burst through the barn wall and I scampered to the other side and looked to my truck and smiled. I rolled along the ground until I was behind the truck, it obstructed Ricardo’s shot and he wouldn’t be able to get a clean shot on me if he tried. I popped the passenger side door open and hoped into the truck and slide into the driver side and started the truck. Rounds slammed into the trucks body but didn’t hit by me. Slamming the Ford Bronco into first gear I drove right through the barn door and through the barn. More rounds ripped through the walls on the barn but didn’t even come close to hitting the truck. I drove the truck through the back wall of the barn and cranked the steering wheel so the truck slid towards Ricardo’s shooting position and I slammed on the accelerator so the truck was flying full throttle towards Ricardo.
I dropped the Truck into 3rd gear and raced towards him, the truck letting out a low pitched rumble as the trucks massive 460 big block roared. I saw Ricardo stand up and begin to take pot shots on the truck, rounds winced off the hood and smashed through the windshield. Holding the steering wheel steady with my legs I grabbed my SKS and smashed the remainder of the windshield out with the butt stock of my rifle.
More rounds slammed into the truck but he was aiming high, he should’ve been aiming for the engine but instead continued to fire directly at my semi exposed body. When I was about 150 yards from his location he turned and started to run, no it was hunter becomes the hunted.
Suddenly a large blast sounded and I looked to my left to see the Apple family’s house go up in flames as a dragon flew overhead. “A DRAGON” I roared and turned my attention back to Ricardo, had Applejack not taken the family out of the house the results would have been catastrophic. “TRIXIE RETURNS” screamed a voice and I looked to see the dragon swoop down and a magical aurora surrounded Ricardo as he was lifted onto the back of the dragon and they flew off into the sky. I stopped the truck and got out “MOTHER FUCKER” I roared out, hoping that Ricardo could hear me.
I watched as the dragon flew off into the mountains past Ponyville. I got back into the truck and slammed the accelerator to the floor and raced towards the mountains with an angered snarl. Suddenly a group of ponies got in my way and I slammed the brakes on the truck. I got out of the truck to see the rest of the group, “Ron we” Celestia began but I cut her off “get to the clubhouse I got an old friend to see” I yelled out and Celestia looked at me curiously “which clubhouse?” she asked, “uhh Applebloom’s” I informed her and Twilight nodded “I know the place, Celestia follow me I can show you” Twilight informed the princess and the all got off to the side of the road.
I hoped back into the truck and raced off towards the mountains again. Blood began to slide down the truck’s leather seat and I looked to the blood “figures” I muttered. A loud THUD sounded as something landed on the roof of the truck, suddenly princess Luna swooped through the passenger window and landed on the passenger seat. “I” I began then chuckled “I guess you’d have me arrested eh?” I asked jokingly and she let out a small laugh but stopped and looked to my seat and saw the blood. “You’re hurt, we should stop and heal you” Luna suggested. I shook my head “no time” I told her but she leaned over to me and pressed her horn against my body and I felt a surge of magic pulse through my body and I felt my body’s wounds heal. “Thanks” I said to her and she nodded “sometimes it’s good to accept help from others” she said with a smile. I slammed the accelerator to the floor and put the Ford Bronco into its final gear as we raced towards the mountain
The truck approached the mountain and I killed the engine and hoped out of the truck. Luna followed suit and did the same, I loaded my guns and looked to the mountain and whistled “that’s some steep ass shit” I muttered. “We do not understand, how is this mountain ‘shit’” Luna asked, confused by my choice of words, “it uhh means it’ll be a pain in the ass to walk up all that way” I told her and she still had a confused look “wouldn’t it be painful to your legs?” she asked and I chuckled “whatever”.
I began to trek up the mountain and looked to Luna who was flying, hmm well she was a unicorn so I suppose that she had magic… Luna caught me starring at her and looked at her body “should I stay low to the ground?” she asked and I shook my head. “Don’t suppose that you can do magic tricks?” I asked and she looked at me with her head cocked to one side “why do you ask?” she asked me. “Okay just stay with me on this one, why don’t you just teleport us to the top of the mountain?” I suggested and she looked up and it was like a light bulb just turned on in her head. “We apologize but we cannot do that trick but perhaps if you were to ride us than we could fly to the top of the mountain” she suggested and for some reason I didn’t really like that idea all that much.
“Alright let’s give it a try” I said and she flew down beside me and couched lower to allow me to get onto her. I got this strange feeling in my gut as she lifted off and we flew towards the peak of the mountain, “this won’t end well” I muttered and she turned back to me “why not?” she asked and I looked towards where she was flying “shouldn’t you be looking to where you’re flying?” I asked and she looked forward again “ohh sorry we apologize” she said and I nodded “don’t sweat it” I muttered as I leaned my head into her mane and let out a groan of displeasure. “Is something wrong?” she asked and I nodded “yeah, somehow I know that I’m going to be shot again” I groaned just imagining the pain “perhaps we can help you so you don’t become shot” she offered but I chuckled. “I don’t know if your sister would approve” I chuckled and she laughed as well, “she doesn’t” Luna laughed and I couldn’t help but to picture her face when Luna flew off to help me.
“Thanks for coming along” I told her and she nodded “thank you for allowing us to come with you” she replied and I chuckled “well I couldn’t really refuse I mean you’d have had me arrested” I chuckled. She turned to me “we lied, we really couldn’t have had you arrested. We didn’t have any solid evidence and simply knowing him wouldn’t have held up well as an argument to have you arrested” she informed me and I chuckled, “well thanks anyway, it’s kind of fun having you along” I told her and she blushed.
Suddenly a dragon roared and lept off the side of the cliff and down towards us, “dodge him” I ordered but she simply turned direction and flew back down towards the ground, “he’s too large, we wouldn’t be able to do it without some risks” she informed me and I shrugged as the dragon blew out fire towards us, I tugged her head to one side “this way” I ordered and she shifted her direction and the flames missed us. “Trixie shall have her revenge” Trixie cackled and I turned back and shook my head in disappointment, so much talent yet so little confidence. We swooped past the ground and flew towards the forest, “no” I ordered and Luna looked back to me “dragon breath fire, fir burn trees” I said quickly and she nodded “then what?” she asked frantically.
I looked to the Ford Bronco and came up with a plan. “The truck” I yelled and she flew towards the truck and stopped just a few feet from the truck. I hoped off her back and we both lept into the truck, starting the truck and slamming it into reverse I drove us away from the infuriated dragon. Spinning the steering wheel I forced the truck into a reverse 180 and slammed it into second gear. The dragon was close behind us, “driving for dummies, when the truck begins to get really loud press release the gas pedal and press the pedal clutch pedal and shift this stick into a bigger number, if it gets quieter release the gas and press the farthest pedal to the left and put the stick into a smaller number, and uhh the pedal in the middle is to stop the truck” I informed her and she nodded.
“Why are you telling us this?” she asked and I looked her in the eyes and said calmly “you drive”. She gasped “we can’t drive it’s… this machine isn’t meant for” she began but I hoped out of the driver seat and set her in the driver seat, “drive” I ordered and she gave me a frightened look. “Please we do not think that we can” she began but I put my hand to her mouth “I believe in you” I told her and her eyes grew wide, “you… believe in us?” she asked. I nodded “yeah I trust you” I informed her, boosting her confidence further. She slammed on the gas pedal and I fell back, “quick learner” I told her and kicked the box cap off the back off the truck. It flew away in the wind and I felt Luna roughly switch the truck into 4th gear, “there isn’t any more gears” she gasped, “don’t worry it doesn’t need anymore” I told her and unslung the .577 double barrel.
I popped open the gun and check the load, both shells were loaded and ready to go off, I slammed the gun shut and looked to the dragon which quickly approached, Trixie cackled hysterically “burn them” she ordered and the dragon let out a breath of flames. “Turn left” I ordered and Luna swiveled the steering wheel, “jeez she was good” I thought outloud as the truck dodged the flames.
I lined up a shot with the dragon and pulled the back trigger, firing the left barrel letting out a terrifyingly tremendous KA-BOOM. The dragon screeched in pain as the round tore a large hole in its left shoulder, I let off the right barrel which resulted in another thunderous KA-BOOM, the gunshot seemed to echo on forever, or maybe my ears were just ringing from the guns thunderous shot, the dragon howled out in pain as the round struck him in the lower stomach area.
The dragon disregarded the pain and continued flying, I popped open the rifle and ejected the 2 shells and loaded 2 fresh ones. I took quick aim and slammed off both barrels in quick unison. The dragon once again howled out in pain as his thick leathery underside was unable to stop the terrifying rounds. Blood poured out of his wounds but he somehow kept flying, I ejected the spent shells and loaded new ones. I took close aim and fired off both barrels simultaneously, which kicked me back and I staggered a little. But both rounds struck center mass, the .577 T-Rex rounds ripped through his chest and past his ribcage, the rounds ripped his lungs and one of the rounds must have struck his heart because he instantly began to fall lifelessly, which resulted in a shriek from Trixie.
“Stop the truck” I ordered and Luna slammed on the brakes and I fell back onto the console of the truck as she stalled it. “We apologize, we don’t know how to stop a truck” Luna apologized and I gave her a wink “yah did pretty good for a first timer” I told her and she blushed as I stood up and hoped out of the truck and helped Luna out of the driver seat. Trixie let out a shriek and shot a blast of magic towards us, Luna reacted quickly and created a magical barrier around us and Trixie’s blast slammed into the barrier harmlessly. I snarled as Luna deactivated her shield spell and I charged towards Trixie who shot another blast at me but I rolled to one side and continued to charge at her.
At about 10 yards she decided to change tactics and tried to grab me with her magical aurora but true to Twilight’s word the coat somehow negated Trixie’s spell and she was unable to grab me. I tackled her to the ground in a similar fashion that football players do to quarterbacks, when she hit the ground she let out a cry of pain and I quickly rolled off her and got into a defensive stance as she lept back onto all fours.
She brushed her hair to one side and snickered “do you really think you can defeat the great and powerful Trixie?” she asked mockingly, I chuckled and charged forward she tried to leap out of the way and almost succeeded but I caught her with my right arm and threw her to the ground with tremendous force, which knocked the wind out of her. I looked to Luna and nodded and she cast her magical spell we had talked about during the truck ride.
Trixie quickly stepped up and gasped for air, “you think… you have beaten The great and powerful” she began but I cut her off “enough with the nicknames, shows over time to pack up” I told her and she let out a feminine snarl and shot magical energy blast. The energy blast struck it’s mark, center mass in the chest, it would have probably hurt like hell, had the target been me. Her magical blast struck the mirror image of my reflection that Luna had cast with her magic and Trixie gasped as soon as she realized what had just happened and turned around to face me.
I charged forward and she tried to muster enough strength to emit another blast but I knocked her to the ground, quickly unsheathing the Bowie knife I brought it to her throat. She whimpered in fear as her eyes widened and I gave her the coldest look I had ever given anyone, “please don’t kill me” she pleaded and I scoffed “WHY THE FUCK NOT YOU KILLED GRANNY SMITH” I roared and she flinched at my tremendous outbreak. “Please it was your friend not me” she desperately tried to explain, “you could have stopped him” I snarled and she whimpered “please he captured me and forced me to do… unspeakable things” she cried as tears rolled down her face. “Yeah but it was okay to rape me?” I scowled and she sniffled “no worse than that… he forced me to gut and skin ponies… please don’t kill me” she sobbed. I released the tension in my arm and slowly brought the knife away from her throat somehow I kind of believed her, even though what she had done was wrong Ricardo probably was looking for a partner and figured a horny wizard was the perfect one.
I got off from over top of her and placed the Bowie back in its sheath and let her rise up. “Go… and if I see you again… I’ll kill you” I threatened but it was more of a friendly threat for some reason, maybe because I felt sympathy for her, I really don’t know. She put one of her hoofs to her temple and tapped it against her skull then pointed towards me “Trixie shall return” she laughed then a cloud of smoke appeared in front of me and when it dissolved Trixie was running away. Luna lowered her horn and began to charge a magical blast, I pushed her horn away from Trixie “What?” she asked confused, “she’s still young” I told her and looked to the forest. Somehow I knew that Ricardo was in there waiting for me.
I looked to Luna and nodded “we shall wait here until you return” she informed me, almost reading my thoughts “and if I don’t return raze the forest to the ground because Ricardo won’t stop at just me” I ordered her and she nodded. And I walked into the dark forest and continued to walk, somehow it was like something was pulling me towards something.
I entered a small clearing in the forest and looked around, the dirt was dry and all life in this part of the forest was dead, there was only the dirt. Ricardo walked out from the other side of the clearing. “Death isn’t it beautiful” he asked in a calm voice, “no” I replied bluntly and gripped my SKS tightly, “why not?” he asked and I looked him in his eyes “because you’ve brought it upon this world like a plague” I snarled. He snickered “everything dies. Whether it be the trees, the plants, the animals of this world, even you and I will die at some point” he informed me. “But it should be natural not by you forcefulness” I argued and he laughed “have you gone soft on me? Don’t you remember all the animals you’ve killed?” he asked, “that’s different” I scowled. “How? Explain to me how it’s different, by my count you murdered lions, cheetahs, leopards even elephants” he countered. “I… was different” I stuttered, “and now you come to this world and think it’ll all just go away? Have you even told that Applejack chick what you did?” he asked, “no, it’s the past” I argued weakly.
He looked around and held his arms out wide like her was soaking in life from the air, “my friend this world is just like ours: governments, economy and people that know no boundaries, just like you and I” he laughed and I snarled “I’m nothing like you”, “no, what about that lion family you murdered once, how you said kill them all we’ll get more for all the pelts” he laughed bringing up painful memories. “You see even if you’ve tried to change, you’re still the same old poacher you used to be and nothing you can do will change that” he told me as he turned and unslung his Woodmaster 750.
“The finality of today will determine the outcome of tomorrow, if you win you will live on trying to change who you once were but you will be unable to cope with the fact that you were once just as evil as I am, in the end you will die forever fighting with yourself and you will have changed nothing. If I live then I will move on, knowing full well what has happened and live peacefully in the mountains, living out my days remembering our times together” he informed me with a touch of sadness, he was obviously recalling our childhood. “Then why not leave all this behind and live peacefully?” I suggested but he chuckled “I can only do that once I have cut off all the loose ends, you, the princesses and those six ponies, they all know about my atrocities, once they die then it’ll finally be over” he explained. “Why not just give up” I tried but again he denied my offer “you think after all of this they’d simply let me walk, no… Ron, you’re my oldest… and only friend, I’m sorry for everything that’s come between us… remember that friends can become enemies just as fast as enemies become one’s ally… Ron let’s die not fighting as enemies but as friends” he laughed insanely as he drew his scoped rifle up.
I rolled to the side and quickly lept behind a tree as a volley of rounds ripped through the air behind me. I lept out and unslung the elephant gun and triggered both barrels but he was fast and was already out of the way before the rounds flew past him, I reloaded the final 2 shots and slung the gun across my back and ran towards the forest as Ricardo fired a trio of rounds into the tree I had just been behind. I lept into some grass and unslung my SKS and leaned it up against a tree and crawled through the grass towards another tree as Ricardo ran into the forest. “I know you’re here, show yourself” he hissed and led his way with his rifled. He saw my SKS and fired another trio of rounds into the tree, how many rounds did he have… maybe he reloaded his bullets. He started to reload and I charged across the small distance between us and tackled him to the ground, he scrunched his legs up between us and kicked me off of his body.
I landed on my back but flipped myself up as he staggered up, trying to reload I charged him again, he tried to swing his rifle stock at me but I grabbed the fore grip of the rifle and swung the barrel towards his legs and flipped him onto his back. He landed with an ‘Oomph’ and crawled back to his feet and tried with great frustration to load his rifle, I spun kicked his rifle out of his hands and the force of the kick knocked the scope of its mounts and the rifle and scope separated. He lept at me with a war cry but I sidestepped then charged him and drove my fist into his gut and he double over and fell to his knees “what would you ever need CQC training for right?” I taunted and he snarled and got back to his feet.
He laughed as he swung my Bowie knife back and forth, I looked to my leg sheath and saw that it was no longer in its holster. He charged at me and I tried to backpedal away from the slash but he caught me at the top of my right shoulder and brought it downwards in a long arc, the cut wasn’t deep but it stun.
“Don’t worry Ron I help you” said a dopey voice and suddenly a crack of lightning sounded and lightning was conducted by my knife and surged through Ricardo’s body and he fell to the ground. I looked up to see the cross eyes Pegasus known as Derpy flying on a thunder cloud. She flew down to the earth gracefully and fluttered her wing that used to be broken. “Derpy what are you doing here?” I asked a little worried for the young mares well-being “oh well I heard that some person named Ron was going to try and stop the murderer so I decided that it had to be you so I came to help you” she informed with a wide smile.
I sighed there was just no getting past the helpfulness of Derpy. “Well thanks Derpy I” I began but was cut off as a rifle shot sounded and blood exploded from Derpy’s body. I grabbed her body and shielded it as I lept to the ground and another round flew overhead. He blood soaked my coat and mixed with my blood I rolled off her body and lept up and charged at Ricardo as he triggered another round at me, the round tore through my lower stomach but didn’t even faze me, he tried to take another shot but realized his rifle had jammed “shoulda bought an SKS” I roared and he turned and ran into the forest, dropping his rifle onto the ground.
He lept up into a tree and began to climb it, I looked back to see my SKS leaning up against a tree then figured I’d just shoot him out of the tree with the elephant gun. I lept into the tree and pursued him up the tree. He began to climb sideways and I began to climb faster, I reached the spot where I had last seen him and unslung the elephant gun and peered around the corner.
Ricardo kicked the gun from my hands and it toppled to a tree branch below, he began to swing my Bowie knife at me violently and I unsheathed my K-bar knife. He flipped the knife in a revers position so he could get a better stab action with it, I followed suit. He approached me slowly and suddenly lashed out jumping through the air and trying to stab me. I fell onto my back and lifted my legs to catch his body, I caught his knife wielding hand by the wrist and twisted it, he yelped and dropped the Bowie knife, which fell down the tree and tumbled to the ground 70 yards below. He grabbed my knife wielding hand by my wrist and smashed my arm against the tree branch, I lost my grip on the knife as my nerve endings seared with pain and it too fell towards the ground.
I coiled my legs and kicked him off my body, he fell down and caught himself on the branch below us, I lept down and grabbed the elephant gun and leveled it at him. He simply laughed as he kicked the gun and I lost my aim on his body, this gun wasn’t meant to be used this close. I tried to bring the gun back on target but he used a more forceful kick and sent the gun out of my hands, it clacked as it fell to the ground. He charged at me and I countered his charge with a low tackle to the knees, we both lost balance and fell downwards.
I tried to catch myself on the branch below but just bounced of it painfully, I continued to bounce of tree branches for 50 yards until finally I got a hold on a branch, I had been lucky that the branches were so close together or I would’ve most likely broken several bones, Ricardo fell past me and I lept down carefully.
Once I hit the ground I rushed to my SKS rifle and spun around to find Ricardo who was nowhere to be seen. I slid up against a tree and slowed my breathing, my heart rate lowered and I peeked out to see Ricardo walking calmly in the clearing, I spun of the tree and tried to get a nice clean shot but it was as if Ricardo already had a shot lined up and three .308 rounds ripped through my body, 2 ripped through my lower gut and 1 ripped through my left leg and I fell to the ground and rolled to cover. “I’ve always been better than you Ron, admit it… you’re dead meat just rotting” he laughed and I lept up and placed a shot center mass of his chest and he staggered back. “That rifle’s weak” he taunted and I placed another round into his chest, again he simply staggered back. I gripped the rifle tightly and let off a trio of rounds, 2 rounds slammed into his chest and the 3rd rammed into his left shoulder, blood now soaked his cloths.
“My turn” he laughed and without any hesitation shot a burst of rounds into my body, I counted 3 rounds that tore through my chest, hopefully not hitting anything vital. I fell back into the grass and rolled, my breathing didn’t seem raspy so he hadn’t hit my lungs. “Come on Ron time to end this” he laughed and I lept up and let of 3 quick shots which ripped through his chest he fell onto his back and staggered up as I laid back down into the grass and crawled along as Ricardo pounded the dirt with several .308 rounds. I crawled probably about 20 yards as Ricardo continuously fired rounds off wildly. I leaned up against the tree, blood was trailed along the ground and I knew I didn’t have much time. “Ha gotcha” Ricardo sneered and I froze, “well sorry Ron but it looks like Equestria’s mine he laughed, a voice played through my head “don’t move” and I looked around but couldn’t see anyone. A shot rang out and I flinched, expecting the round to punch through the trees but it didn’t and I heard a sneer come from Ricardo as I heard his loud footsteps walk away from me, “thought you could sneak up on me did you?” he laughed.
“Now” the voice in my heard ordered, it was Luna’s voice and I spun off the tree and looked to Ricardo who was standing over the body of a hologram image of me. “Ricardo over here” I taunted and he froze. “Shit” he muttered, “it’s over” I told him and he snickered “it isn’t over until one of us is dead”. “Fine but I ain’t one to kill a man to his back so I say we duel” I suggested and he laughed “what like a pistol duel? We don’t got no pistols” he sneered and I walked closer to him “10 step draw, you know the deal” I suggested and he nodded and I placed my back up against his, “Today’s enemies” I began, “tomorrow’s friends” he continued.
“From life… to death… die as friends… not enemies” we both chanted together and stepped away from each other, 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1… “Ron?” Ricardo asked, “Ricardo” I replied and I swear I could see him smile, even if I wasn’t looking I knew he was smiling, that same fuckin smug smile he always had. “Goodbye Ron” he said apologetically, “goodbye Ricardo” I replied back. We both spun but I was a fraction of a second faster and fired off both rounds left in my gun, seemingly simultaneously.
The 7.62x39mm rounds ripped through his body and knocked him onto the ground. I heard him hack and saw blood come out of his mouth. He pushed himself back so he was leaning up against a tree and I dropped my SKS rifle and walked over and sat beside him. He pulled out a Cuban cigar and placed it in his mouth, he attempted to lite it with his zippo but dropped the zippo onto the ground. I leaned over and picked it up and lit his cigar for him. He coughed as he inhaled the cigar foolishly. I saw a lone tear trickle down his face and I shared the tear, for everyone… every-pony that had been lost in this senseless battle. “Beautiful isn’t it” he whispered and within moments passed on and his cigar fell out of his mouth. I leaned over and closed his eyes and placed my hand on my chest which was bleeding heavily, I stood u and staggered over to my SKS rifle and picked it up, looking at it. This was my rifle, my instrument of vengeance, the rifle that had stopped the menace of Equestria and this was its final battle. I collapsed onto the ground as fatigue washed over me.
I held the rifle to my chest as I let the cool air sooth my body as I looked into the sky I saw Luna fly overhead, though I would’ve liked my final image to be of Applejack I didn’t mind it being the princess, she was kind of cute as well but my heart belonged to Applejack, strange that earlier I had said about how it was too weird and now my last thoughts were going to be of her. “Funny how things play out” I whispered to myself as I heard voices in the distance. “Sorry AJ, but I think this is what I had in mind when I said… I’d make everything right” and with that final message I closed my eyes and let the blackness of death over take my body.
My mind fuzzed into focus and I felt myself lying in a bed. As I looked over I saw Granny Smith, she was muttering about ‘those blasted Timber wolves’. I chuckled and she looked over “about time yah came around sonny” she laughed and I chuckled, well I guess being dead wasn’t all that bad, I mean I had Granny Smith to keep me company. “Yeah, looks like I finally kicked the bucket” I laughed and sat up, “eh, what’s that sonny, you flicked the muppet?” she asked and I chuckled “you’d think after dying that god would give us all our youthful traits” I joked, “oh what?” she asked again. “What I meant was that after dying don’t you think we should be youthful again not the same way we were when we died?” I asked and she let out a hearty laugh.
“Ha now sonny that there is the funniest thing ah heard since… hmm well let’s see now there was that time Filthy Rich got caught cheating… or that time Cheerilee laid a whippin tah those teenagers…” she trailed off. “What’s so funny?” I asked laughing about her crazy reminiscent about the ‘old days’. “That you think we’re dead” she laughed and I think that I might have just rolled over and died right there from the insanity of it. “But you died, you got shot right in front of me” I gasped, “yup, bullet darned near tore a hole in my, but it was stopped by my old trusty plate, tee hee” she laughed a cute little old granny laugh and tapped her side which let out a small metal clinking, that would make sense since there wasn’t an exit wound. “So why didn’t you move?” I asked and she laughed again “darn thing hit me like a sledgehammer it did, knocked me out cold” she laughed and I nodded then heard a gasp from across the room.
I hadn’t taken the time to notice but I was in the hospital room I was in before and beside me lay my possessions: the SKS, both knives, the double barrel elephant gun along with my duster coat and a new desperado hat but this one hat a magnificent feather attached to it and a little note that read…
“I wanted my other hat back so I made you this one, hope you like the feather
Rarity
P.S. If you get blood on this coat again I’ll kill you myself”
I chuckled but suddenly a body mass landed on top of me and I let out an ‘Oomph’ as a squeaky squeal was let out from whoever was on top of me. I managed to take a look and saw greyish fur. “Ron I’m so happy you’re okay” said a dopey voice. “Derpy” I groaned and I felt her body move as she most likely was nodding happily “yup… I’m just so happy you’re okay” she said excitedly. “Derpy” I gasped and she asked “yeah?”. “You’re crushing me” I gasped, “oh sorry” she apologized and hopped off my body, I looked to her and she nuzzled her nose into my neck “oh I’m so glad, I thought you were going to be really badly hurt” she whispered sadly, “Derpy I think you just hurt me more than that guy ever did” I laughed and she blushed “oh sorry” she apologized but I gave her a friendly nudge “hey don’t worry I was just kidding, besides I was afraid you were hurt worse than I was” I informed her and she showed me her bandaged wing “nope, doctor said I’ll be fine in no time…” she trailed off. “Uhm Ron I don’t suppose that you could uhm” she trailed off again and I nodded “yeah sure why not this place is kinda boring without entertainment” I laughed and Granny Smith began going on again “well If yah wanted entertainment the hospital just got one of these new T.V. things she said as she flicked on the T.V. and some muscular Minotaur appeared on the television.
“That’s right every-pony don’t fear Iron Will is hear. That’s right you know that bad guy that every-pony was all scarred off well Iron Will disposed of that monster with his bare hands ARRRG” he screamed, god this guy needed to get over himself. “After some failed attack Iron Will defeated his dragon and broke him into pieces and stomped his remains into dust and they were blown away into the wind” he boasted, “Jeeze this guy is worse than Trixie” I laughed and Derpy turned off the T.V. “yeah he really is a show boast” she informed me and I rolled my eyes.
Derpy lept happily into her hospital bed like a little kid and grabbed a book and gave it to me it read ‘Daring Do and the crypt invaders”, “you really like her eh?” I asked, “oh yeah she’s totally awesome… but not as awesome as you” Derpy said blushing a little and I began to read the book…
“The pirate ponies surrounded Daring Do and laughed as she looked desperately for an escape plan but they had her completely surrounded…
* * *
“’Stop right there Daring Do’ the pirate captain ordered and Daring Do laughed as she tugged on the rope, which knocked down a bundle of wooden planks which fell on the captain” I read to Derpy but suddenly the door to the hospital room opened and the group I had come to know entered the room, “holy, he’s awake” Rainbow Dash exclaimed and Applejack snickered “ain’t it obvious?” she asked rhetorically and Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Hey, I was just reading to Derpy when” I began but Celestia brought a hoof to her mouth for me to be quiet as I realized that it was late and Derpy was sleeping. “Oh she must’ve passed out” I whispered and looked back at the group, the all let out a quiet laugh “Ron we all wanted to thank you, we know it must’ve been hard for you to kill you’re old friend Ricardo, but we wanted to thank you for your valiant efforts” Celestia thanked me and I nodded.
“So what happened?” I asked, “well once again you ruined my coat I made you” Rarity laughed and we all chuckled “sorry couldn’t help myself” I laughed. “So after you were done getting shot Luna seen you collapse and grabbed you Derpy and all your possessions” Twilight began, “yeah but since that was like ‘totally’ way too heavy to carry all the way back she used your machine thing” Pinkie said excitedly, ‘was she ever not hyper active’ I thought to myself. “So… uhm you didn’t look that well so… she took you to my cottage where I… stitched you up” Fluttershy peeped sheepishly and I gave her a wink. “And that was that, they brought yah here tah the hospital where yah been sleepin fer 2 days” Applejack informed me. “Ron we have a proposal for you, sometime if you could come down to the castle I would like to the palace?” Luna asked, “you could ask me right here” I suggested.
“If that is what you wish, our sister and I have decided that you have more than proven yourself and would like to know if you would like to be the guardian of Equestria… or if you would still like to go back home?” Luna asked, every-pony looked at me. “If you wouldn’t mind to have me stay…” I trailed off and they all let out a cheer, Pinkie Pie went overboard and had confetti shoot everywhere. “Pinkie shh” Twilight hushed her hyper friend “oh sorry” Pinkie apologized. “Then it’s settle, Ron, along with the element bearers you shall be a guardian of peace and shall protect Equestria whenever it calls out for help” Luna announced and I nodded “on one condition though” I replied and she looked at me curiously. “Only if I can stay close to home” I replied, “hah I knew it, Ron has the hots for AJ” Rainbow Dash laughed and both Applejack and myself blushed.
“You may stay anywhere you wish” Luna replied “now we must be going, our sister and us have many things to do” she informed me and Celestia and left the room. Twilight gave us all a nod and left as well, “oky doky loky” Pinkie Pie said as she bounced off. “Well as much as I love reunions a mare needs her beauty sleep” Rarity informed us and walked fashionably out of the room. “Oh… uhm… well it was nice seeing you again Ron but I have to go home to my animals” Fluttershy informed me and was about to leave before I stopped her “hey, thanks for saving my life… twice” I thanked her and she let out a squeak of happiness and nodded and left as well. “Well I hear a cloud calling my name” Rainbow Dash yawned and zipped out and open window.
I staggered over to my hospital bed and flopped down, I think for the first time in a long time I was happy to be alive. Applejack lept on top of my body and I let out an ‘Oomph’, “oh come on Derpy almost killed me once today” I groaned and Applejack closed the medical curtain around my bed. I looked at her wide eyed, she wasn’t… she was, I saw it in her eyes. “I bet she didn’t do this” Applejack cooed and lightly kissed me on the lips. My heart fluttered, “AJ… we can’t… this is a hospital for pete’s sake” I whispered but she was already curling up against my body “I’ll try not to soak your pants” she whispered seductively, I gulped “you uhh, you know about that?” I asked feverishly, “ohh course just one question… was she any good?” she asked curiously, “don’t know never let her past rubbing up against my leg” I chuckled “besides I ain’t letting my first time be getting raped by a horse in a trailer” I laughed. She blushed “you’re… a virgin?” she asked, “listen AJ, I used to kill innocent animals… just because” I began “I used to be a bad person like that other guy. I never lived a normal life, never had a girlfriend, and never went out to fancy diners… I just killed and that was my life” I informed her. She looked at me deeply and a tear rolled down her face “I’m sorry I’m not the man you think I am” I apologized as I wiped the tear from her face. “Ron… thank you, fer being honest… and yah are the man ah want yah tah be, ah don’t care about what yah used tah be just as long as yer the man I fell in love with” she cooed.
“But” she began, my heart sank “but?” I asked feverishly, “well if yer a virgin… ah guess yah don’t know much right?”” she asked, “well no why?” I asked back and she blushed “what don’t feel bad just because I don’t know a thing about… wait are you?” I asked and she gave a shy nod. “I see…” I trailed of and she rested her head against my chest. “First time for everything right?” she asked, “AJ I still don’t know about this” I told her, “don’t worry I won’t moan too loudly” she teased, “Ron… I love you” Applejack whispered to me and I looked into her beautiful green eyes and whispered bacd “I love you to AJ”
Authors note:
So I spent the next 2 hours explain to Applejack and her family what guns were, a little frustrating since I didn’t want to simply say ‘guns kill’. “So what is the purpose of those things again?” Applejack asked curiously “alright… I’ll be honest with you but the truth isn’t pretty” I told her and she nodded “usually isn’t” she mentioned. “Guns are meant to kill” I said bluntly and I suppose she didn’t believe me at first because she laughed “oh come on now don’t get all dark and depressing on me now” she laughed but I gave her a serious look and she stopped laughing “oh my Celestia, yer serious ain’t yah” she gasped and I nodded.
“Why would any-pony want tah make something so terrible” she gasped, apparently violence never existed in this world because they didn’t even want to pitchfork a guy who was trespassing and could potentially be murderous. “The world I live in… war is all they know” I told her “why?” she asked, I shrugged “must be something in our mind that makes us say Kill” I tried to explain but it was no use, these ponies were just too loving and caring to ever understand war. “That’s awful… so why would yah ever want tah go back?” she asked, “don’t know actually. I never had a home, or any close friends, minus Ricardo” I informed her, “Oh and Ricardo’s the one who was yer childhood friend right?” she asked “my only friend” I told her pitifully ‘why did I want to go back?’ I asked myself but quickly subdued the thought.
“Well ah’m yer friend ain’t ah, an muh sister and her friends would probably want tah be yer friends so why not just stay here?” she offered, “like right here, don’t know was never farmed before” I told her and she blushed “well ah never meant here but…” she trailed off and I gave her a nudge “hey don’t worry, I’m sure in the end things will work out right?” I asked, “don’t they always” she asked rhetorically, “no” I replied bluntly and her smile drooped “why not?” she asked and I looked at her and smiled “don’t worry this time it’ll work out I know it will” I told her and we left the chicken pen.
“So listen if yah want tah know more about ponies and Equestria then we should probably head down to the library, then we’ll go to Rarity’s and see if we can’t get some better cloths for you” she began but I cut her off “hey what’s wrong with my cloths” I asked, “oh sorry, it’s just that well yer gonna want tah fit in a little more” she told me and I looked at her more closely “what like goin around in the nude” I asked making reference to how she wasn’t wearing any cloths, she instantly blushed again and I rolled my eyes “okay so librarian, dresser guy and…” I trailed off “we might as well go to Pinkie’s she’s always wanting to meet new ponies… oh and Rarity is a mare” she informed me and I scrunched my nose and followed her towards a little town that she called Ponyville, god where the hell did all these ridiculous names come from?
* * *
We walked through the town and several other ponies in the town started looking at me curiously and I heard murmuring amongst the crowd “yer lucky yah got me or yah wouldn’t see a single pony around” she chuckled, “and why’s that?” I asked. She chuckled “well even though we are all very kind and what not, we all are kind of shy around new and strange looking creatures” she informed me. “HEY” I exclaimed, “sorry it’s just what they see yah as” she explained and I shrugged.
“Well here it is, the Ponyville library… why don’t yah knock” she offered and I stepped forward and banged on the door, “it’s a public library, you don’t have to knock” I heard a flustered voice reply from inside “guess that means we can go inside” I chuckled and opened the door to see a purple unicorn buried in a pile of books “oh where is… where is it… SPIKE!” she hollered and a little purple dragon came racing down the stairs with some more books “you’d think that with all the times I could do that spell that I’d…” she trailed off and popped her head out of the pile of books and gasped at my appearance and fainted.
I walked over to her and the little dragon was trying furiously to wake her up “come on Twilight wake up” he yelled as he tried to smack her awake, “I think I she’s scarred of me” I retorted as I kneeled over and felt her pulse. “She’s not dead you know” the purple dragon retorted, “just checking, lately it seems I’m having some weird… things happening to me” I explained and stood up as the purple colored unicorn got up. I extended my hand and she accepted the offer and grabbed my hand with her hoof and somehow got a grip with my hand and lifted herself up.
She shook her head in confusion, or dizziness, and took another look at me and her jaw dropped wide open. “Hey name’s Ron… nice to meet you” I said politely, “ah know he’d be perfect talkin tah Rarity right?” Applejack laughed, making fun of my manners. “Hey, I’m just trying to make a good first impression, if you want next pony we meet I can hold them up at gunpoint” I joked, “huh?” the purple unicorn asked, obviously not understanding what I had just said and I was not spending another 3 hours explaining to a librarian what a gun was. “Trust me it’s impolite” I laughed, “so anyway my name is Ron” I offered my hand out to great her formally. She shook my hand with her hoof and I thought to myself ‘I hope she hasn’t stepped in shit lately… is there even such this as shit here I mean everything seems too perfect’. “Twilight Sparkle” she informed me and I nodded “nice to meet you” I said politely and she looked at me curiously “just what exactly are you?” she asked “uhm a human I guess” I informed her and shrugged “SPIKE...” she yelled and I saw the purple dragon beside her flinch at the volume of her voice “right here” he winched and she looked at me “get the book about humans” she ordered and he gave her a weird look “uhh Twilight… we don’t have a book about humans” he told her and she scoffed “fine mythical creatures” she ordered and he zipped away.
“Hey I ain’t no mythical creature” I exclaimed, insulted by her order. “Sorry, just around here you’d be a mythical creature” she explained and I rolled my eyes “coming from a unicorn it’s kind of ironic” I muttered, “what was that?” she asked as she searched through some books “just said that it’s funny coming from a unicorn” I repeated and she popped her head out of the pile of books. “Why?” she asked and I simply shrugged “just because” I told her and she continued her search for whatever it was.
“Twilight found it” the purple dragon informed her and tossed her the book which she caught in some magical barrier and began flipping through the pages. “Humans… humans… humans… why isn’t there a part about humans?” she yelled, apparently frustrated, and I leaned over beside her with a smug smirk on my face “maybe I’m not as mythical as you thing hmm?” I snickered and she threw me an irritated glare then gasped “SPIKE… you don’t think that last night...” she trailed off and the purple dragon gave her a confused look. “What?” he asked, “you know with the teleportation spell” she informed him, “but Twilight, you didn’t actually transport that apple anywhere” he said plainly, shrugging off the worry. “Yes but Spike I may have accidentally opened a portal to another realm or something and… Ron was your name right? Ron might have been transported here by accident” she gasped and I patted her on the shoulder “don’t suppose you could do that again could you?” I asked and she shook her head “sorry I didn’t exactly understand that spell and messed it up, so it’s unlikely that I could open another” she sighed depressingly.
“Why do yah want tah go back so bad anyway, no offence but from yer description of yer world, it doesn’t sound like yah’d have anything tah look forward tah” Applejack implied and I sighed again, she was right I really didn’t have anything to look forward to. “Uhm I guess… not much really” I sighed, “so why not stay here?” the purple dragon asked, “uhm I don’t rightly know… I never caught your name?” I asked him. “Oh it’s Spike” he informed me with a smile and I nodded “nice to meet Mr. Spike” I said politely and he leaned over to Twilight “maybe it’s just Rarity in disguise” he whispered and Twilight snickered.
Twilight sighed “Spike take a note” Twilight ordered and the little dragon known as Spike pulled out a quill with ink and a scroll
Dear Princess Celestia:
I regret to inform you that something strange has happened with a field trial of the object transportation spell. It would seem that I misunderstood the spell and somehow created a portal to another realm which in turn transported a human named Ron into Equestria, he is very polite and kind and isn’t a nuisance of any sort but I am unsure of what to do at this time and it would seem that Ron would like to go back to his home world, I eagerly await your response
Spike scribbled down the note and blew out a flame that ignited the scroll into ash, “all that work just to have it burnt to a crisp?” I asked, “no silly, when Spike burns a scroll it gets sent straight to the princess” Twilight informed me and I shrugged ‘express mail, must be nice’ I thought to myself. I twitted with my fingers and waited for some unicorn or something to bring a piece of mail to the front door but nothing happened.
“Hmm usually Celestia replies faster than that… she must be busy” Twilight concluded and I shrugged. I stretched my arms out and scratched my forehead with my index finger, “well I’m hungry, any takers?” I asked and Spike looked to Twilight with heart filled eyes and Twilight sighed. “Yes we can go to Sugar-cube corner” she sighed and Spike jumped in the air and let out a “Hurray” and Applejack leaned over “looks like yah made another friend”