Memory Spell and Foalhood Tragedy (Reedited)

It’s been several long agonizing weeks since Pinkie's attempt on her own life. Though the physical sickness had passed, the mental still had its wicked claws dug into her very mind? She barely eat, hardly moved more than from her bed to her window, in which she spent the entire time staring out of in deep thought. She had to be drugged and forced into sleep by her doctors. The nightmares of fighting off her corpse friends and the other her... the therapy just caused violent outbursts that threatened staff and herself...

Her friends visited her one by one but Pinkie just eyed them as if they were dangerous animals. She screamed the first time Twilight had visited; she kept yelling she was sorry before hiding under her blankets to sob. The reaction was less violent but more heart wrenching when Rainbow Dash visited... all she did was curl up, and cry to herself repeating the words “I'm sorry” over and over again. The other visited with varying results but none positive. That’s why when Twilight made her way up those hospital stairs she was nervous and scared about her friend’s possible violent reaction.

The book about Equestrian Psychology gripped tightly with her magic. The magic inside could very well be the answer her friend desperately needed. But when she reached the door her hoof hesitated, for a split second her mind wondered does she even want my help.... but the most assertive part of her mind told her she needed to help. When she opened the door she only saw the straight pink mane and her back as her friend just stared out the window like a statue that watched over the courtyard.

Twilight walked slowly to her and saw the hoof just hanging over the edge of the wheelchair and worried thoughts came to her mind as she bolted to her friend’s chair. For a split second, she could see Pinkie sitting there throat slashed as blood flowed over and out of her slashed throat, a smile was actually on her bloody face as both arms hung over the arms of the chair. Twilight’s heart was pounding until she blinked and saw Pinkie just sitting there staring past the purple unicorn. Twilight took in a sharp breath then released it and mentally kicked herself for letting her imagination ran away with her like that. She placed a hoof on Pinkie’s and the pink mare looked at her out of the corner of her eye.

“Pinkie?” she asked softly and the mare made no indication that she had heard other then the watchful eye. “I found something that can....” she stopped and took a deep breath. “That can help you,” she finished and then and only then did Pinkie turn head to Twilight. Her eyes were wide and her pupils were small with a crazed tearful look on her face.

“You can stop the dreams? You can make the pain stop?....I hope it ends me.... You know it wasn't me that did it all it was... HER... it was Pinkie that did it.... not Me." she said going off into her own mind and her tears started to fall again. Her eyes glazed over and she started to rock in the chair. “I had a way to stop it all to cure myself but noooo..... You just had to stop such well-made plans...” she said looking at her with a crazed look. Then she got out of the chair suddenly and took a step towards Twilight. “Are you going to kill me...?” she asked and her face switched from such insanity to a look of innocent wanting. “It would make sense since the other Me did such horrible things to you Twi...." Pinkie reached out with a hoof and tried to caresses Twilight's cheek with it but she drew back and the insane mare's face looked sad then she turned her back on Twilight. "Makes sense if you do..." she said and Twilight tried to make sense of the pink mare's words.

“But Pinkie….” she was cut off by a very anger look from the pink mare... Pinkie looked at her with such anger and hurt in her eyes that Twilight stopped talking... the pink mare looked towards her again.

"I’M NOT PINKIE!!!! I am Pinkamena.... Pinkie is the bitch that kills and butchers her friends.... She's the one that burned you....... killed the others....hurt and broke Dash.... then she was the one who used you all to torture me!" she said and with each sentence she was slowly backing Twilight into a wall. "I'm not her.... I didn't do those things but I had to watch, and hear them happen, though.....I tried to stop her but I just couldn't, she wouldn't let me and now.... and now she's the reason one of my friend’s going to kill me...right?" she asked as Twilight's back hit the wall. "RIGHT?!?" she asked again placing a hoof on the wall so Pinka could lean over her... Twilight's brain started to panic and she quickly discharged a spell into Pinka's head. Once the spell made contact the pink mare hit the floor boneless. Tears streamed down her cheeks and with blurry unfocused eyes.... she looked at Twilight before muttering one last thing before slipping to darkness... “Thank.... you,” she said before closing her eyes.

Twilight looked at the sleeping mare before slumping to the ground... she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Tears welled up in her eyes for her friend who was so looking for her own death to the point of wondering if her own friend would deal the finally blow.. It was sickening at how sad it was. She looked at her friend. She focused on the good times she and the pink party mare had... like when she had confessed her liking of mares to the pink pony who just smiled and said good for her and even suggested a coming out of the closet party, which Twilight quickly declined. She used her magic to pick up the sleeping mare and slipped her into bed. She knocked a small black book off the table on accident but ignored it until the pink mare was safely in bed. Then and only then did she reach down with her magic at the small black book. She looked at the sleeping mare and took a deep breath, before casting the duplication spell. And in less than three seconds, two perfectly identical books hovered in her magical grip. She flipped through both book's pages to see if the writing was facing the right way.....

But she had to try to hold back a gasp as she found a whole page filled with scribbles and spots of red ink. She focused on the scribbles themselves then took a step back and focused on the actual picture and had to stop another gasp. It was a curly hair Pinkie covered in blood red ink in places holding a bloody knife in one hand. She closed her copy of the book and ran out of the room as quickly and as quietly as possible. Once the door clicked shut she galloped out of the hospital and towards her library. She moved fast but about half way, her lifestyle of reading and staying indoors for long periods of time caught up to her, and she had to stop. She coughed at the sudden tightness in her chest. Her heart was beating rapidly and she finally realized just how much the visit to Pinkie...Pinka affected her. The look on Pinka's face as she asked Twilight if she was going to kill her. Twilight shook her head trying to shake the image away. Once she could breathe properly she set off in a faster trot.

But in her distracted state, she didn't notice the prismatic Pegasus flying overhead. So when Rainbow hovered just slightly above her and tapped her on the shoulder. The purple unicorn jumped a good foot into the air. She turned around quickly and looked up to the Rainbow Pegasus.

"Rainbow....! You scared me to near death!" Twilight said breathlessly as she tried to regain control over her beating heart... Rainbow laughed and raised an eyebrow

“Since when did you get so jumpy?” she asked and Twilight’s grew silent and looked disturbed for a moment. But that was all Rainbows needed to get her answer. “You saw Pinkie didn't you?” she asked and Twilight nodded

"She... she doesn’t want to be Pinkie anymore..." twilight said and Dash tilted her head in confusion.

“What do you mean?” she asked and Twilight looked at her hooves and took a deep breath. "She calls herself Pinkamena now her...”

“Yeah, her full name I...I know.” Dash seemed to deflate. "But you have a plan right... some sort of spell you can zap her with....right Twi...." Dash asked and only got silence and her head dropped, her ears hung limply. There were tears in Dash's eyes

“Dash I had something....but I need to know more about what she's been through in her mind and I have the guild in my hooves,” she said and Dash looked at Twilight. She held up the book and Dash tried to swipe it, but Twilight moved it out of reach. “Sorry Dash but I need to figure out what's in here first before I do anything else.” She said and Dash gave her a look then crossed her hooves in front of her.

“When you say things like that it makes me want to have it more….but for Pinkie, I’ll let you go…but I want to know what you find or what this plan is OK!” she said and sped away.

Twilight felt for the mare and knew she was just worried for Pinkie or Pinka now. Twilight trotted a bit slower thinking of how her friend had spiraled into this state of mind…first she started spending more time with her friend but, then we started seeing Pinkie more often and she stayed in Sugar Cube Corner most the time.

“We all thought she was working on something, then she tried to kill herself and we all well blamed ourselves for what happened…” she spoke to herself as she walked.

She was so lost in thought that she ran into the Ponyville Library sign in front of her own house. She shook off the impact and opened the door with her magic and set the book on her little desk. But before anything else could be done the little dragon called from the stairwell and she looked up to see him looking down at her with a worried expression.

“She that bad you had to buy another book to get over it?” he asked worry weighed every word down and her heart broke for the baby dragon.

If she kept all these depressing events in her mind she might just become like the poor pink mare…..or destroy the whole town in a manic depressed induced spell… she tried not to think about that possible option. But instead, she focused on the baby dragon that was as much her child as her brother.

“No, Spike this book was… it's Pinkie’s journal and I believe that it might give me some clues as to what might have happened.” She finished and Spike’s eyes grew wide.

“So you might be able to cure her if you know enough about what happened?” he asked and she allowed herself to laugh at his optimism. Then she realized she had to laugh she needed that particular element right now…. And so did Pinkie…..Pinka she mentally apologized for the mistake again. The conversation didn’t last long and Spike went to cleaning and dusting out and Twilight took the little black journal up to her room and was about to open it to the first page but when her actually hoof touched it, it felt like the book bit her, she jerked her hoof back and eyed the book a little before. Touching it again she didn’t feel the jolt like before but merely maintaining hoof contact with it sent uneasy waves through her like the book had absorbed so much negative energy that it just wanted to lash out at others. Twilight steeled herself and opened to the first page.

I’ve started to have nightmares…. horrible nightmares and I feel like I need to write them down in case they start to mean things like that one time I had dreams about Twilight coming and telling me something important and then that came true… though I really, really hope these nightmares are not going to come true… the one I had last night was bad. I was walking through town and everyone looked at me like I was nothing, that they only saw me as a pest and then they tried to throw me out of town, it was bad. The rest of the page detailed some remedies for nightmares. So Twilight skipped them over until the next dream entry.

The dream just turned so much worse…. This time, I was on a leash and another I held the end of it. She dragged me to burnt out homes and there were ponies everywhere just lying on the ground….I think they were dead…. Oh, Celestia please tell me they will end soon PLEASE! She kept dragging me places and would hold out her hooves and ask me if I liked my own handy work. She said I did all of this… she said I killed all these ponies, I tried looking for my friends but she would only smile and tell me “spoilers” whenever I asked. After that, I ran to each of my friends that day just to make sure every pony was alright. I told myself that nothing was going on that it was just all in my head and that there was nothing to worry about….

Twilight turned another page and was shocked by the sheer number of worrying squabbles all ever the page. It was things like please let it stop… I’m sorry Fluttershy….. Please forgive me for even having a nightmare like that… please don’t hate me, it wasn’t me I swear!! The other me killed you it wasn’t me I swear… Twilight quickly turned the page she could feel her heartbeat quicken and her hooves were growing sweaty. The next page was covered in tear and wet stains…

“I’m sorry but why did I kill Applejack…. Why would I cut her throat with a knife… it just doesn’t make any sense anymore… it just doesn’t, and why must I watch and see all of these things the blood, oh goddess, so much blood it spilled on me and the other I just laughed at the spray. I can still feel the blood oh god it’s stained onto my brain, oh my goddess. It’s all over my hooves I can’t wash it off of myself.

Twilight could see Applejack’s blood… spewing out of her neck in details that Twilight couldn’t comprehend she could feel the blood that Pinkie wrote about she hugged herself to stop shaking. She turned the page and the writing was shaky but she could read it.

Tonight… it was Rarity. The other me dragged me into the dress shop and took Rarity from her bed and used the most beautiful ribbon gag and bind the white unicorn. …… she lopped Rarity’s horn off with a hacksaw… the muffled cries will haunt me forever. I thought could this get any worse and I wished I had never even thought such things… she used another piece of ribbon to strangle my friend. Her body kept twisting and jerking as the other me just laughed. Until Rarity stopped moving and her eyes rolled around in her head. I cried out and the other me dragged me out the door but stopped when a small squeak came from behind I looked and there was Sweetie Bell looking at her sister’s corpse, the sick part is that she looked at me, not the other me just me and with watery eyes asked me why I did such horrible things. I looked at her in disbelief but I turned to her and tried to stay in between her and the other me I had to protect her…but the other me just tossed me aside and when I tried to run back to save her. The other I raised a hoof with Rarity’s horn in it and Sweetie looked at me. “Why are you doing this?” she asked the other me drove the horn into Sweetie’s temple. I cried hard and cradled the little filly. The other I tugged on my chain and I lashed out at her with hooves and teary eyes. But I woke up thrashing in my bed with teary eyes.

Twilight held a hoof over her mouth as what she just read fully took effect. She felt sick at the images of the murder and slaughter passed her eyes. How could Pinkie do such things it made her angry and rage filled her. She wanted to lash out at something. But she kept reading trying not to blame her friend for her nightmares but with such dark and gory dreams, something has got to going on with her… just how long until Pinka decides to act out these horrible dreams. Twilight couldn’t stop herself from asking these questions. She turned the page.

I fully thought that things couldn’t get worse….I was so fucking wrong… She drug me to the library and I knew what she was going to do so I tried I thought of a plan to stop her… but she started a fire… the library burnt to the ground…with Twilight and Spike inside. I could hear her pounding on the door trying to get out but the door wouldn’t move. I strained and fought that pink bitch. She kept me back so I could hear Twilight’s pained screams I cried and fought harder until she pinned me and I had to watch Twilight burn to death and there was nothing I could do about it just sit and cry and scream at the other me she was Pinkie… I’m not Pinkie, no I’m not that kind of bitch who would kill my friends…. Twilight’s scream they're ingrained in my head I can’t help her…. So I do the only thing my brain tells me to do… cover my ears and cry. It didn’t work and her screams just keep echoing in my head. Pinkie let go of me and I burst through the door and I wished I hadn’t...Twilight laid at my hooves some parts were so burnt it was hard to tell it was her. I stepped back and screamed at the burnt remains of my friend. The scream kept repeating in my head and I tried to block it out but nothing worked. Until I heard something else overshadow the scream…Pinkie was behind me and she pulled on the chair to get my attention.

“Wow I wonder if you get double points for filly-foolers…” the words actually escaped her mouth. I lunged at her and she pulled me to the floor. And I woke up in my bed my eyes stung from the tears, my hair was straight…

Twilight had felt sad and scared at the other pages but not this one she felt pain….she could see the house burning around her she could feel the fire licking at her hooves, but worse of all she could hear her own screaming in pain... and over that she could hear Pinkie taunting her for being a filly fooler. Twilight’s vision grew red and rage fueled her magic. Before she could even think about what to do she threw the book to the floor and flipped her desk over spilling ink and papers everywhere. The desk landed with a loud thud and she faced the book that spelled out her death…. She lit her horn and the book burst into flames. The flames were purple with magic and her magic made sure only the book caught fire. She stared with hatred at the book even when Spike ran up screaming questions, asking if Twilight was ok. She ignored him until she finally spoke.

“Spike finds me the book on memory spells,” She asked then looked over to her bed and located the book. “Never mind just go down stairs, Spike.”

“But….”

“Now spike!!” She nearly yelled at him and he quickly ran back down those stairs. She stared at the book burning to embers much like Pinkie had done to her in her mind… she hated the mare she knew why she hated the pink mare…. Because deep down in her “friends” mind she hated her and all her other friends. That was the only reason she would dream of such horrible things. It hurt that the one friend she confined in hated her for that reason, tortured her for that reason… it made her sick to even think of the pink mare. She stomped on the burning book spreading the ashes. Once little was left of the book from her stomping, she ended the fire spell and Spike knocked on the wall.

“Twilight are you ok?” he asked and Twilight looked at him.

The feeling in her chest was like her heart was being set on fire and stomped on… much like she had done to the book.
“No.”

Author's Note

Reedited