Expeditis Equitibus

Expeditis Equitibus

A/N:’Oh geez, another HiE fic, I’m just gonna downvote this and keep on moving’ Is that about right? Eh. Fine. But I do think I should have the right to at least take a shot at it… Right? Guys? RIGHT?! :P Hope you enjoy!

Lots of pain…

Darkness enveloping him…

Filled with loneliness…

Burdened by confusion…

The young being’s head was filled with all those emotions, and more. Opening his dark blue eyes, he stared out at the blurry world, waiting for it to come into focus. When it did, he looked around to get his bearings and… found that he was actually inside of a massive crater, the bowl shaped dirt walls rising quite a long ways above his head. Whatever had happened to him, he must have hit the ground HARD. The pony stood and shook his head woozily, finally clearing his vision completely. “Damn head rush.” He muttered, his voice rather Amareican, and coughed, raising a hoof to muffle it. Such a simple action really, but in that moment,  it meant a whole dimension of difference to him.

He stared at his hoof.

His HOOF.

Descending into a minor freak-out, he frantically craned his neck, looking around at himself. He noted a brilliant white coat, and, assuming his mane was the same color as his tail, a dirty blonde mane and tail. Two pegasus wings sprouted from his sides, also colored white. Slapping a hoof to his forehead in a moment of panic, he sighed in relief when he failed to find a horn, chuckling momentarily.

“Okay…Could be worse… I could be some jumped up, neon colored, Alicorn, Mary Sue, OC nutjob...” he laughed to himself, the joke seeming absolutely hilarious at the time. Of course, then the pegasus turned his attention to more pressing matters… getting out of the pit he was in. Jumping wasn’t exactly gonna help, not when he barely knew how to use his legs anyway, and flying wasn’t going to work since he wasn’t sure how his wings worked either. ‘course, it didn’t really seem like it was going to matter, if the smattering of voices he heard getting closer was anything to go by.

“I think Dashie said one of them landed over here!” a mare’s voice called out, pausing at the lip of the crater. Suddenly a pink blur zoomed down into the hole, smashing into the white pony and blasting them both back into the pit wall. A faint ‘owww’ drifted up afterward, and the pegasus had to once again clear his vision from that hard knock, only to come muzzle to muzzle with… a cotton candy pink mare with a nightmarishly curly mane and tail, staring into his eyes like she was enraptured in them with a small ‘Ooooh’ coming out of her muzzle. And of course, the pegasus did what any self-respecting stallion would do in that case.

Kick her off of him.

“GAAAH! Too close! Much too close!” the pegasus shouted. Now he might not have known how to use his new legs yet, but instinct still delivered a decent kick, sending the pink mare through the air to land… somehow… on the very lip of the crater, completely unharmed. Overall damage report: one giggling, unharmed mare. Not what the White One had expected, but at least she was off of him, huh?

“Pinkie, what did you…? Oh.” another mare’s voice spoke up, revealing the source a second later to be a purple mare with a more sensible mane cut than the pink one’s… Also, a horn…. Wait, WHAT?! Yep, she had a horn! And… she was glaring at him. Oh, that couldn’t possibly be good.

“Uh… What the barrel is going on here?” the pegasus asked, only to be surrounded by a magical aura and lifted out of the hole…holy hell, was he being levitated by that unicorn?! Well, if the glowing horn was anything to go on, he was! Which meant… that unicorn must have been tough to lift him with barely any effort showing. He made a mental note NEVER to piss her off… who knows, she might burst into flames or something and become a flaming pony missile. Of course, given her expression… that might be difficult.

Deposited none too gently on the ground outside of the hole, he shook his head rapidly, only to get tackled by ANOTHER pony, a cyan pegasus mare this time … with an entire color spectrum for a mane, everything from red down to purple representing. He barely notices that though, opting instead to finally lose his temper himself and exclaim, in a fit of rage, “WILL EVERYONE JUST STOP TACKLING ME?!” at considerable volume, and kick the other pegasus off of him as well. This… didn’t go over too well, as the mare did a combat roll, leapt forward and struck him across the muzzle with her forehoof with the force of a baseball bat at 75% speed, just as he was getting up. Staggering around like a drunk for a few seconds, he fell sideways… right back into the pit.

The purple mare looked at the cyan mare with a glare that clearly said ‘Smooth move, plothole.’ “Nice job, Rainbow Dash. You knocked him out before we could get any information from him.” Dashie reared onto her hind legs and shrugged her front legs.

“What else was I gonna do? Do we really NEED to know anything, Twilight? I KNOW what I saw and what I saw was one of those… THINGS crash-land ‘round here.” Twilight shook her head, sighing as she levitated the now-unconscious pegasus out of the hole and dropped her in front of Dash.

“Okay, but YOU get to carry him.” Dash’s jaw nearly hit the ground.

“Why do I have to-?“ Twilight looked back at her, cutting her off by sporting a glare that could cut through solid rock, directed straight at Rainbow Dash. She gulped, and then sighed, resigned to her fate.

“…Fine…” Rainbow Dash hefted the white pegasus in a firepony’s carry as she hovered there, rolling her eyes. Twilight nodded, satisfied, and the two began to ambulate toward the small town in the distance. Meanwhile Pinkie, oblivious as always, was off in the background, batting around a small leather bag full of… some kind of jingly stuff. Pinning it down with a hoof and opening it up, she looked inside… and gasped.

“Those were in the hole with Mister Grumpypegasus! I wonder who they belong to…” clueless, she took another look inside, the shiny, weirdly designed pins glinting in the sunlight… then she gasped again. “Ohmygosh, they’re HIS! Ahhh! Twilight! Dashie! Wait up!”