Chapters Twilight Sparkle was sitting in the library late at night with Luna’s moon high in the sky reading the latest article from Astronomy Weekly and wondering just how they come up with some of this stuff. Alternate universes? What were they thinking? There’s no proof, no evidence to even remotely suggest such a theory. But here it was in one of the most respected articles in Equestria. Just as she was about to continue on with this ridiculous issue, she heard a knock at the door…
The Doctor was sitting in the TARDIS just staring out at the endless expanse of space through one of his many monitors when he heard the faintest of beeps. It started getting louder and louder with every passing second however until it became a blaring klaxon. “Well, that’s not good.” He said as he looked for what was going wrong. The most peculiar of things though, was that there didn’t seem to be anything wrong. All of a sudden the Doctor found himself tossing and turning about like a ship in a storm. This became unbearable to some of the TARDIS as instruments started ripping themselves from the wall and circuits went haywire. And just as soon and as violent as it came… it ended. The silence was deafening and calm was restless. The first thing the Doctor did was run a diagnostics report to see what damage had been caused.
“Moderate damage to the temporal compass, flux capacitor, external cameras are shot, and- oh bloody hell- could this get any worse? Severe damage to the pool and the giant bobbly thing I never figured out did with minor damage everywhere else. Hmm, I guess I’ll just have to wait for the auto repair to fix everything. Thank goodness I installed that backup generator and the time vortex is still contained.”
With that said, the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS to take a look at his surroundings. It was nighttime but luckily the full moon lit everything up as if the sun was only just setting. The first thing he noticed was the tree house right in front of him. Literally, it was a tree house. How exciting! So the Doctor went up to it and knocked on the door. But before he could get a response, a bright light next to where he was standing blinded him…
Dr. Gordon Freeman was sitting in the ruins formerly Black Mesa East. He was there with a handful of other scientists trying to find out if maybe, perhaps, Freeman could open a small temporal rift, unnoticeable around all the larger ones the Combine used, to sneak into the Combine home universe and try to assassinate the people in charge- whoever they were. “Okay, Gordon, whenever you’re ready.” Magnusson called out from the viewing room. Gordon walked forward and pushed the artifact, donated so generously by their “friend” toward the center of the room, where the enormous Anti-Mass Spectrometer was waiting. Yes, that’s right; they’re intentionally trying to create a resonance cascade. The war with the Combine wasn’t going well, and desperate times call for desperate measures. As soon as he put it in the path of the Spectrometer, a massive white light filled the room, and when it vanished, Freeman was gone…
Commander Jane Shepard was standing at the Combat Information Center, wishing for a chair, when a familiar voice came over the intercom. “Message coming in from Admiral Hackett, commander. Patching it through.”
“Thanks, Joker.” Shepard responded.
“Shepard,” Hackett’s voice boomed through the CIC, “We need you to investigate a series of disappearances near the Hades-Gamma cluster. Apparently several merchant vessels have vanished around there, leaving no trace.”
“Do you think it’s the Reapers?”
“I don’t know what it is. But keep your eyes open, I’ve a bad feeling about this. Hackett out.”
“Joker, set a course for the site of the disappearances. EDI, red alert. Let’s be ready people!” As Shepard barked out orders, the klaxons blared and the unmistakable feeling of Mass Effect could be felt. As they passed through the Mass Relay and moved towards the location, Shepard couldn’t help but get the feeling that whatever was going to happen, it was going to be big. Shepard armed up and ran to the helm, where she could look out at the surrounding space. It was… weird to say the least, as while almost every inch of space had stars around it, there was this one space that had nothing. No light at all. The realization hit her immediately. “Joker, get us out of FTL speed.”
“I did that thirty seconds ago, commander.”
“Then why are we still moving at that speed?”
“I don’t know.” Just then, EDI’s avatar came up. “Commander, I am detecting high gravitational forces. If I’m correct, these can only be found in… black holes.”
The entire deck fell silent as everyone looked to Shepard for guidance. Shepard wasted no time. “Alright Joker, about face, give me everything you can. Tali, I need all power to the rear thrusters. We need to get outta her-“
Before she could finish a massive and violent motion overtook the ship, screaming was heard and lights went out…
Twilight Sparkle looked up from her book wondering who would be knocking at this un-Celestial hour. As she walked to the door she saw a bright flash of light from under the front door. When she swung the door open she saw a creature in the form of a weird, hairless, monkey. “Uh, what?” She looked over this being just wondering what it was when it spoke.
“Why hello there! Wow, that’s new. A unicorn, how fascinating. And what is that aura surrounding the door? It’s the same as your horn. I wonder…” He trailed off as he whipped out a long, metal, stick with a light at the end and proceeded to point it at the door and then at Twilight. “Amazing! I can’t get a reading. Whatever this is, it’s new. How exciting!”
“Uh, what?”
“Oh, excuse me. My name is the Doctor. Just call me Doctor. And you are…?”
“Uh, what?”
“Your name, what is your name?”
“Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight was a little apprehensive about this… doctor. She didn’t know what to think about this whole situation but decided to do the only rational thing: she started asking questions. “What are you?”
“I am a Time Lord. Lord of Time. Time of Lords. Wait, that doesn’t work… anyway, I seem to have crash landed here. Wherever here is.”
“Uh, you’re in Ponyville. Part of the country of Equestria. If I may ask, what was that light?”
“Oh that? That was my sonic screwdriver. It does everything an-“
“No not that. That giant flash of light.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess we should look.” Turning around the Doctor stopped in his tracks as not fifty yards away in two directions were two smoking craters. As the Doctor and Twilight ran up to the closest one, they heard moaning. Getting closer they saw a dark haired woman clad in battle armor with a whole armory on her back, struggling to stand up. As soon as she saw them she reached behind her and pulled out what looked like a rifle of some sorts. Aiming it between the two she demanded in a sharp tone, “Who are you? Where am I? And are you a… unicorn?”
The Doctor seemed visibly apprehensive toward the person in front of them but Twilight didn’t understand why. What made this other creature so dangerous?
“My name is the Doctor, and this is Twilight Sparkle. Why don’t you put the gun down and let’s talk about this like rational people?”
“I like my gun, thanks. I think I’ll hold on to it.” Shepard retorted. “My name is Commander Jane Shepard of the SR2 Normandy. So… Doctor and Twilight… Sparkle, what kind of names are those?”
“I’m proud of my name. And I’m sure the Doctor is a very good name wherever it is you two come from.”
“My bio-scanners indicate that this Doctor has two hearts. What are you?”
“I am a Time Lord. You are a human. You are a magical talking unicorn.” The Doctor pointed to everyone as he mentioned what they were.
“I am a regular pony. I don’t know what you are though.” As they started arguing amongst each other, the sound of a bullet being chambered caused the two non-ponies to turn their heads. Standing there in some sort of orange metal suit was a bearded man with a pair of dark rimmed glasses holding an assault rifle and carrying more guns than Shepard thought possible. He didn’t move his eyes from Shepard but you could tell he was paying close attention to the other two as well.
“So that’s who was in the second crater,” The Doctor said more to himself than anyone else. “And you might be…?” Freeman said nothing but pulled his old Black Mesa ID from a pocket and gave it to the Doctor, all the while not looking away from Shepard. “Dr. Gordon Freeman, Ph.D., theoretical physics? And you’re carrying weapons? Just what kind of doctor are you?”
Twilight brain had had enough of this and did what any other reasonable pony would do in her position; she fainted.
When Twilight came to she was in her own bed. “It was just a bizarre dream,” she said, sighing. Just then Spike burst through the door with the Doctor following in his stead. “Twilight! We’ve been overrun by these creatures.” Spike shouted.
“I thought we covered this, I’m a Time Lord, and the two in the room below are humans.”
“And they talk!”
“Agh, fine whatever, I’m here to talk to Twilight. Go and get the other two.”
Spike left- albeit cautiously- as he made his way down to the main room to retrieve the Commander and the other doctor who were currently performing weapon maintenance and systems checks on their suits.
“So…,” the Doctor started after Spike had left, “how are you holding up?”
“I’m uh, okay, I guess. I mean, I just met not one, but two different intelligent species’ and managed to look like a complete foal in front of them. So, yeah, just fine .”
“Oh, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’ll be fine. While you were out, we exchanged stories of where we were from. It’s amazing! We are all from different universes. Freeman is part of a rebellion against an oppressive inter-universe empire called the Combine. This was an attempt to go to their home universe and take them out. Shepard is the leader of an elite inter-species team trying to garner support for a war against these giant machines called the Reapers that appear in the Milky Way galaxy- their home galaxy- every so often and wipe out all life in it. But here’s the thing: no one believes they exist. And I’m just a traveler in a time machine who travels in another different universe just living life to the fullest. Just talk about exciting!”
Twilight was trying to wrap her mind around all of this. Alternate universes? Who knew? “But… how did you all get here?”
“That’s what I wanted Spike to get the other two for. I think I figured it out.” As that was being said the door opened and the two humans walked in.
“You mentioned something about figuring out how we got here?” Shepard asked.
“Yes, I figured it out…” He then descended into explaining the time vortex and how it’s self-contained and on and on about quantum mechanics and how Newton had no idea what he was talking about, when he noticed he was losing his audience. “So you see, there was a hole, of sorts, in the time vortex. My time vortex that I got sucked through. Somehow, just through astronomical odds I ended up here.” Twilight heard this and wondered if here attempt at a long distance retrieval spell had a hoof in this. She decided to keep her mouth shut though.
“But what does this have to do with us?” Shepard asked, clearly losing patience.
“You see, when you were sucked into that black hole, it really wasn’t a black hole but a worm hole. This hole transported you here. Now, because my TARDIS is basically the time vortex incarnate, it probably tried to connect the loop by connecting to the TARDIS’ time vortex. That’s why you ended up here. Freeman’s situation here is basically the same thing. My TARDIS was probably a much stronger receptacle for portals than whatever the Combine was using. That being said, that’s what probably caused the portal to deviate from its original destination. Think of it as deciding between two restaurants. You were going to go to one, but then you learned the other had better food so you went there instead.”
“I see,” Shepard said, “So do you know how to get us back?”
“Yyye- no,” The Doctor admitted. “But I’m working on it.”
“Grreeeaat. So the genius in all things time and space has no idea how to get us home. The Reapers are coming and I need to be there to stop them!”
“You’re not even in the same universe anymore. You’ve got to stop thinking as time linearly.”
“Whatever, I need to find the rest of my crew.” With that she made her way to the door.
“Wait!” Twilight teleported to the door to block anyone from leaving. “You can’t leave, you’ll cause mass panic among the pony populace.”
“I’m going out there and you’re not going to stop me.” Shepard responded.
“Please, you can’t. At the very least you’ve got to learn more about us.”
“Fine. I’ll wait. But just so I can learn a little more about these ponies. Where do we start?”
“Well…” Now it was Twilight’s turn to be the teacher. She started explaining how Equestria was founded and then descended into magic, the different types of ponies, pony history, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, the Elements of Harmony, which finally led her to her friends. “…So that’s about it. Any questions?” Contrary to what one might think, all three of them found the lesson fascinating and thus paid attention. Now, these three had plenty of questions and the purple unicorn was more than happy to answer them al-
BUURP!
All four jumped at the sound as Spike belted forth a letter. Twilight quickly recovered and read it.My Dearest Student Twilight Sparkle,
A rather interesting group of guests has arrived at the castle and I believe this would be something that you would be most interested in it. Do try to get to the castle as soon as possible please.
Your Mentor,
Princess Celestia
Twilight looked up from reading it and met eight curious eyes. She passed it to the Doctor and watched as he read it aloud. “Well Shepard," he said as he finished reading, "I do believe I’ve located your men.”
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, but quickly gasped it back in. She was ecstatic that they were leaving her library, and Ponyville. But then she feared what Celestia would think. Humans? Time Lords? Alternate Universes? The questions and various scenarios of what she might do buzzed around in her head. Then she thought of something else: how the hay was she supposed to get them out of the library and all the way to the castle without being seen by anypony? She had to sneak them by, lest they cause mass hysteria. So she had to devise a way to get them by. She couldn’t use an invisibility spell, there were too many people. She sighed; she had no idea what to do. She looked to the three waiting patiently. “I don’t suppose any of you have a way we can get by without being seen do you?” As soon as she said that Dr. Freeman stood up and pulled out by far the weirdest thing Twilight had ever seen in her life. It was a rather large, and heavy looking device that he held with both hands. It seemed to contain an orange energy and was humming oh so subtly. Freemen looked around and saw something that just might work. Pointing the device at a large bookshelf he pulled some sort of triggering device and the shelf was suddenly ripped from the wall. Held by some sort of invisible field, the bookshelf floated in front of Freeman and with the push of another button it was propelled through one of the many windows Twilight had drawn the blinds to so as to prevent curious onlookers. With a thunderous CRACK and the unmistakable sound of breaking glass, the bookshelf launched itself halfway across Ponyville right into the Carrot’s cart in the marketplace. The sound could be heard all the way to Manehattan, and as a distraction it worked perfectly, as everypony gathered around the cart. Twilight stood there, mouth agape as the other three bolted out the door, before they had no idea where they were going and came back.
“Uh, Twilight, where are we going? Twilight? Please, we need your help right now. It’s just a bookcase, I’ll get you another. Twilight…? woooo…” The Doctor waved his hand in front of Twilight’s eyes. Snapping out of her stupor, Twilight regained the use of her legs and motioned them out the door.
“C’mon, this way to the train station.” She ushered them past the conductor as his back was turned and motioned for them to hide in the box car. Thank Celestia that the train station in Canterlot was right next to the castle’s side gate.
When the train stopped in Canterlot Station, Twilight released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She saw the gate and past that, the gardens where she could hide the three until she saw Celestia and knew the coast was clear. “Come on, we don’t have much time before the train leaves and we just need to go a few hundred yards. Unfortunately we need another distraction…” She really hoped that Freeman wasn’t going to do that… thing that he did in Ponyville again. This time though, Shepard got up and lifted up her arm as if she was going to check her watch. Instead some sort of orange device gathered around her arm and she inputted a few commands before a multicolored orb of light appeared right in front of her. With that, the orb burst forth from the car and sped down the street in the opposite direction to where they wanted to go, turning all the heads it passed by. Now all they had to do was-
“Twilight Sparkle, my star pupil.”
Busted. Standing before Twilight and the others stood the majestic form of Princess Celestia.
“Princess!” The unicorn blurted out. “What are you doing here?”
The princess raised an eyebrow. “No ‘hello Princess I’ve missed you’? What’s going on Twilight? And as to what I’m doing here, I could ask you the very same question. I decided to wait for you at the train station since I knew you would come as soon as you got my letter. Although I expected you to be in the coach class, I assume you have a good reason for being with the cargo?”
“Uhh… yes, actually I do. You see, I had to sneak on board so as to not be noticed.” The Princess gave her a troubled look. “Not because I didn’t want to pay for the ticket but because of who I had to bring with me. Um… Doctor, Shepard, Freeman, you want to step out here?”
If the Princess had any surprise, she didn’t visibly show it. As the three stepped out of the shadows, she regarded all of them and then did the most peculiar thing: she turned around. But before anyone could ask any questions, a light erupted from her horn and engulfed everyone there. The next thing anyone knew, they were in a large, high ceilinged area; the dining hall. But the peculiar thing was that there wasn’t anyone there. Not a guard, not a noble, not even a maid making their rounds. But right as Twilight was going to ask what they were all doing there, the large door at the end opened and flanked by guards entered a line of humans and other bizarre looking creatures. They were Shepard’s men.
“My crew! How did you find them?” Shepard asked as she ran forward to embrace them. However, before she could get two steps, guards swooped down and surrounded her. Drawing their swords they closed in on her. She pulled out her shotgun and prepared to face them down.
“STOP!” The hall froze as all eyes turned to Celestia. It was weird hearing Celestia raise her voice as she never does. “Please, we do not intend any harm to any of you. Don’t we guards?”
“But Princess,” one of the guards started, but even he began to back away with the others, “this… whatever it is has another one of those devices that one of the others used on the private.”
“But that was a misunderstanding. One quickly rectified. They even used their medicine to fix him up. Private Snafu will be fine. Now please back away and go inform the kitchen that we’re going to need some sustenance up here as soon it is convenient for them. And the rest of you, leave us and bring these guests here the things we confiscated from them. I don’t believe they’ll be a problem anymore. Right?”
“Right, Princess.” Shepard responded.
“Good, now, everyone find a seat. We’re going to learn just exactly what’s going on here.”
“I believe I can help with that your majesty.” The Doctor said.
“And you are…?”
“The Doctor.”
“The Doctor? Doctor who?”
“Exactly…”
After the Doctor had finished telling them of his theory on their situation, Shepard stood up and introduced everyone to everyone else. Their confiscated weapons and other things were returned and they were brought up to speed on everything.
“Well,” Celestia said, clearly interested in everything she heard, “ it’s a good thing we didn’t force you to remove your suit, uh… Tali? And good thing we didn’t rough you up Joker. But that still begs the question: how do we get you back home?”
“Well, Princess, first I’ll need my ship back.” Shepard said.
“And I as well.” The Doctor added. “It’s a big blue box in the center of Ponyville, you can’t miss it.”
Celestia nodded. “I’ll send a team to pick it up and bring it here. And Commander, as for your ship, well, there’s been a slight problem.”
“How slight?” Shepard said, tension in her voice.
“Well…” Celestia led them out into the labyrinth… or what was left of it. Sitting there right in the middle of it was a half-buried SR2 Normandy billowing smoke out of the end not in the ground. The left thrusters had completely fallen off and all the windows had been blown out. The airlock was dented beyond opening and the outer plating was completely stripped off.
“It’s a miracle no one was hurt, really. By the looks of all of this I’d say that had they not landed where they did, the might not have made it out. Luckily though I was nearby and managed to rip a hole in the side with my magic to help them out. But, I’m afraid we don’t even know where to begin to excavate this thing. And even then we don’t know how to repair it. This technology is so far superior to ours I’m afraid unless you can wait a couple thousand years for us to catch up, we can’t help anymore.”
Shepard just stood there, looking at what was left of her ship. “My ship…” She uttered. But then, determination took over and she started blurting out orders to her crew. “Okay, I am not going to lose another Normandy. Grunt, you start picking up all the scattered metal. Your majesty,” She said, turning to Celestia, “may I borrow something to help pick all this stuff up? I’m afraid not even Grunt will be able to cover all of this.”
“Of course,” Celestia responded. Then she turned to her unicorn guards. “Get everypony available who can lift or levitate these things. You’re going to be taking orders from the commander here or anyone she designates, understood?” The guards nodded in confirmation and split up to gather ‘reinforcements’, as it were.
“Tali,” Shepard continued, not missing a beat, “I need you to get the Normandy up and running. Take everyone you think will be of some use…” Shepard continued like this until everyone had a job. Content with the headway they were making she turned back to Celestia. “Thank you, your majesty. We are in your debt.” She said, ever the diplomat.
“Please, call me Celestia, or Princess. Now, it seems that that takes care of your needs. I will see to it that your crew has rooms, supplies, and anything else they may need.”
“Thank you Princess.”
“Now then,” she continued, turning to the Doctor. “Is there anything you might need?”
“No thank you, Princess. Once my ship gets back here, I can work on a way of getting all of us home.”
“Very well, that just leaves…” Celestia turned to where Freeman was when she last saw him, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Meanwhile deep in the wreckage of the Normandy, Dr. Freeman stumbled upon the armory. He had no idea what some of these guns did, but he wanted them. So he set to work determining how they worked and what each one did. Then he turned around to see a rather large weapon, about the size of the Gravity Gun, with a weathered look to it. Inspecting it closer he saw a radiation trefoil on the side. Never one to let that get in the way, he picked it up and inspected in closer. Next to it was a holographic interface that had the instructions. What could be the harm in a test shot…?
Back outside the Normandy the Doctor and commander were looking for the missing doctor. All of a sudden, a large flash of light could be seen, followed by a massive sound as if something were ripping through the earth itself. Whipping around, the commander could see the remnants of a miniature mushroom cloud.
“Dammit, he found the Cain,” she breathed.
“The what?” the Doctor asked.
“That.” She pointed to one of the many shattered windows where Freeman could be seen standing with a massive gun in his hands.
“Put that down. You are not authorized to use that!” Shepard commanded. The Doctor turned around to apologize to Celestia on behalf of his new friends, but he stopped when he saw the complete look of awe on her face.
“That was amazing!” she exclaimed. “Do it again!”
“I would not suggest that Princess, that looked very dangerous,” the Doctor suggested.
“Oh, very well,” Celestia conceded. She turned to Twilight, “Twilight, why don’t you show these three to our guest wing? I’m sure they’re very tired.”
“Of course Princess. Come with me, would you kindly?”
“Actually, I would like to stay up and wait for my ship,” the Doctor said.
“I too would like to stay here,” Shepard said, having wanted to stay close to her crew, lest she fear she loses them again.
“Oh, okay, then I guess it’s just you and me Dr. Freeman.” Freeman nodded and followed her to his room. It was a luxurious room with a four poster bed with silk sheets and gold trim. The room was furnished with matching furniture. Freeman turned and nodded his thanks. “Of course, you’re probably very tired. I’ll leave now. I’ll make sure nopony bothers you unless it’s important.” She walked out and as the door closed Freeman turned to the room. More specifically, the bed. He felt like he hadn’t slept in years and as a result promptly crashed into the mattress.
When the Doctor saw his TARDIS again, he almost jumped in joy. However, he only hopped. Turning to Celestia and Twilight he said, “Wanna see something cool?”
The two were incredibly skeptical to why he would be so interesting in this box but thought better of asking him. Instead they simply shrugged. “Why not?”
The Doctor opened the door and you could practically hear their jaws hit the ground. Celestia stared at the large room inside, “It’s bigger…” She started,
“…on the inside,” Twilight finished.
Just then a voice came on over the intercom. “Repairs at 100 percent. TARDIS fully operational.”
“Ah, excellent!” the Doctor stated. “Um, make yourselves at home, there’s plenty of room.”
“Actually,” Celestia started, “I’m kind of tired, I think I’m going to lower the sun to make way for Luna, and then I’m going to go to bed and think about today’s events.”
“Yeah, me too,” Twilight agreed.
“Oh, very well, see you tomorrow.” The Doctor waved them goodbye and then turned to the room to find out exactly what went wrong and how to fix it. As he did, he started humming a familiar tune .
View Online
A Human's Crew and Their Misadventures in a Pony World
Almost there… almost there… almo-
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Startled, the Doctor, who had previously been working meticulously for the past few days on a way to not only go from one dimension to another, but do it two more times, and seal the holes they traveled through in the first place, jumped at the sudden disturbance. Then from something out of a Rube Goldberg machine, he hit the wrong button, which in turn activated a circuit somewhere on the other side of the room, that interfered with the neutrino emissions detector he had plugged in there, shorting it out, causing it to smoke, that caused the fire alarm to go off, that activated the water sprinklers, that caused a bowl precariously perched on a ledge to fill up, that tipped over and fell, right on top of the terminal he was working on, crashing through the glass screen, shorting out the console and making him lose his work. “Well… damn,” the Doctor swore. “Oh well, better see who’s at the door.” Walking over to the door and opening it he saw a lavender unicorn with a multi-tone mane standing there, wondering just what she had heard and whether or not she should’ve knocked in the first place.
“Uh…” Twilight started, “the Princess was worried about you, seeing as we haven’t seen or heard from you in days. She sort of wanted an update on how you were doing.”
Eyes bloodshot, brain sleep deprived, and body fueled on coffee, the Doctor responded with a glare that would pierce the wall behind the steel that other looks would normally pierce. “It was going fine, but I seemed to have lost my work station and gained a new swimming pool in its place. But no matter, give me a few hours, a lot of towels, and some more coffee and it’ll be as if I’d lost nothing. Now, I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but please go away.” And with that, he shut the door. Twilight could hear a lot of goings on behind the door, but decided it best to just move on.
Turning around, she regarded the sight before her. It was the great hall, the same one she had her birthday in. Of course now it was a- what did the crew call it? - dry-dock, hangar, repair bay? Regardless, the entire place looked completely alien to her. The once pristine marble floors were brown with grease; the entire room was covered with wires and other bizarre contraptions she’d never seen before. She believed they were called ‘computers’. She couldn’t believe that all of this stuff could fit in that ship. And of course taking up eighty percent of the room was the Normandy. It took Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and a hundred more unicorns, but they had finally managed to move the ship through the window that took up most of the wall closest to the garden where the ship had crashed in the first place. Of course when she said window she really meant the giant hole in the wall where the window used to be until a rather large piece of shrapnel propelled itself through it when the ship crashed. No biggie.
They had been there for a week now, and Twilight was impressed with just how much they had gotten done. Although, she didn’t know what direction they were trying to go in. It looked to her that they were disassembling it more than putting it back together. Sure, most of the ship was still intact, but the wings, thrusters, outer armor, THANIX Cannon, shield generator, and a bunch of other words that were just too big for her to remember were strewn about the floor. Of course their Chief Engineer, Tail, no wait, Tali, said that in order to put something together, you first have to take it apart to see exactly what is wrong. Twilight figured that made sense, but she still didn’t understand any of this. Then there was this one… person? She didn’t know what to call him. He looked a bit like an amphibian and everyone kept calling him ‘Doctor Solus’. Anyway, he wouldn’t shut up about how inferior pony technology was and just how hard it was going to be to put things back together. Actually he wouldn’t shut up period. Apparently they were going to have to get the Normandy as good as new if they wanted to survive not just the voyage back, but also the harsh vacuum of space that they were going to have to deal with when they got back.
Unfortunately, Princess Celestia had to restrict the crew to the castle, seeing as their discovered presence in and around Canterlot would cause mass hysteria. This made them incredibly restless; they were obviously not used to being stuck in one place for an extended amount of time. And then, when her friends asked where she was- as she was staying in Canterlot to help Celestia- she was going to make up a story but Celestia encouraged Twilight to invite them. Who was she to argue? So of course she did. And of course there were seemingly endless hours of questions and answers between them and the castle’s guests. Then, when they had gotten used to each other, Dr. Freeman, a dragon-ish looking crewmember called Garrus, Pinkie, and Rainbow had disappeared, only to be found hours later trying to pull some sort of complicated prank that involved a rubber duck, a miniature proton collider, a mattress, a can of paint and Dr. Freeman crawling around in a bunch of air ducts. Luna was the one who discovered them and just as she looked like she was going to banish them to… wherever it was that particular princess banished them to, she smiled and asked just what their plan was and if they could change it to make the target Celestia. With that, they all ran off to who knows where and haven’t been heard from since. Rarity had made an incredibly unlikely friend, this walking piece of metal that everyone kept calling Legion. Apparently Rarity wanted to try out some designs for different species and found his figure very manipulative. This Legion didn’t seem to mind one bit as it simply followed saying in a monotone voice, “We shall accompany pony-Rarity to a sewing room so she may attempt to, as she put it, ‘make us fabulous.’”
Twilight found it predictable that Spike would choose this particular new friend… Joker. Apparently Joker couldn’t move very fast or else risk grievous injury, so they just sat down at a table ‘shooting the breeze,’ as Joker put it. Which Spike found just fine as he didn’t have to move and he had someone he could just talk to that wasn’t about magic. Truly men never changed, Twilight thought, not even in between universes. Fluttershy was, surprise surprise, very reserved and to herself through all the introductions. Just as Twilight figured that Fluttershy wasn’t going to find anyone to connect with, she found this one person. Apparently they were both avid animal lovers. This person’s name was Jack… just Jack. When Twilight went to Shepard with this news, because Twilight got a weird vibe from this one, Shepard was incredibly surprised with this news. They both went down to check on the two and found them talking about how different animals were in each other’s universes. Shepard later told her that she was surprised that Jack was acting the way she was around Fluttershy, as she is generally a harsh, cruel, and unforgiving person; when she was with Fluttershy however she was being sweet and kind and not menacing in the slightest. Shepard said that when she confronted Jack about this she said not to tell anyone or else she would “Rip out her fucking throat and shove it up her ass.” So of course Shepard made Twilight swear that she wouldn’t tell anyone.
Then there was Applejack. She didn’t even know what to think of this new friendship. Apparently there was this person, except she was blue, with tentacle like things on her head, called Samara. Supposedly Samara overheard Applejack talking to Twilight about how hard it is to manage a farm, and juggle Applebloom. Much to Twilight’s secret happiness, Samara butted in and asked if she might offer some advice. That was five hours ago. So Twilight figured that as long as everyone found something to entertain themselves, and repairs go according to plan, nothing could go wrong.
Walking to the cafeteria, she spotted Tali exiting the Normandy. She figured this as good a time as any to ask her questions. You see, Twilight is an academic, a young one at that. And if there’s one thing that young people and academics don’t like, it’s not knowing things. So the fact that there was this giant hunk of metal sitting here, surrounded by things that she doesn’t know their function to, operated by creatures she doesn’t know anything about, is driving her insane. So much untapped knowledge just waiting for her. So she delved in head first.
Just as Tali was about to dive back into the mess of scrap formerly known as Normandy, Twilight appeared in her way. Now, Tali was all about making new friends, but this was weird. Not Twilight, just everything. The Quarians were geniuses, mainly because they could make anything from anything else. Within reason though. Here she was in the middle of an unfamiliar world, with unfamiliar creatures, using unfamiliar and prehistoric technology to repair one of the most advanced spaceships in the galaxy. Or at least, her galaxy. Shepard had singled her out as the head of the reconstruction project, and she was grateful for that. But it was a lot of pressure, and it reminded her of a human book she had once read where an insane doctor tried to resurrect the dead. On top of that, seeing Twilight in front of her all of a sudden made her dread the next upcoming question.
“So…” Twilight began, carefully planning out her strategy of attack, “I was just wondering, what exactly moves this thing?”
Tali internally groaned. That question. It was hard enough explaining it to anyone else. But this was going to be like trying to explain color to a blind person. “Well…” She was just about to start when she got a brilliant idea. “The Normandy is an advanced reconnaissance frigate class deep space stealth starship. The engine uses a massive element zero core. Element zero of course meaning it has an atomic number of zero. Utilizing vast electrical charges one can alter the mass of any object in the engines field of influence, more specifically, the Normandy. Using Einstein’s theory of special relativity we can…” Twilight just phased out. There were so many words. Why can’t it be as simple an answer as magic? Twilight was smart. Very smart, but she didn’t even know where to begin with this. Einstein? Special Relativity? Does that mean there’s a regular relativity? And what in Celestia’s name is an atomic number? So Twilight just mumbled something and walked away. Tali smiled at her plan’s success and continued on her way.
Three weeks. It had been three weeks since all of this began. At some point- she didn’t even know when- Twilight had developed a headache. Somehow, someway, the ragtag group of pranksters had managed to not only switch the east wing inside out, but also manage to turn Celestia’s room upside down. Twilight had gotten nowhere in trying to figure out how the ship worked and the Doctor hadn’t been heard from since Twilight knocked on his door. Luckily however, the Normandy was almost complete. Apparently they loved to mine planets back in Shepard’s universe and as such, they had a lot of raw materials. Plus, according to Shepard, most of the ship wasn’t actually in that bad a condition as they had originally thought. It took all of their resources, but they managed to put the entire ship back together and even give her a new coat of paint. The shields and weapons were at max power and the engine was outputting maximum power. Celestia, while not actually saying so, was really happy that they were almost done. Twilight could tell, as she is close with the princess and quite frankly, anyone at this point would be happy. They were taking up space, ponypower, and patience. It wasn’t going to all be a wash though as they were getting some advanced medical technology for it. That’s what Dr. Solus was working on: pony specific medicines and medi-gel. So it wasn’t all bad, Twilight guessed. Just as she was walking toward her room in the nearby wing, the Doctor burst forth from his box.
“I’VE GOT IT! I AM BRILLIANT!” the Doctor exclaimed. Everyone nearby looked up from their work, more out of surprise at seeing him all of a sudden after so long of not seeing his bowtie loving self.
“And what exactly do you have, Doctor?” Twilight asked, with a tinge of hope in her voice.
“I figured out a way to not only get back to my universe from the way I came, but also seal that way so no one can come back. And not only that, but I’ve also managed to do this with Dr. Freeman’s and Shepard’s universes too. And not only that …” he said, excitement increasing to dangerously Pinkie Pie-ic levels, “I’ve also managed to hook up a device that will allow the Normandy to do the same for a temporary amount of time.”
“Anything else Doctor? No world problems solved or maybe questions to meaning of life answered?” Twilight asked sarcastically. Although in reality she was incredibly happy that they were going to be able to leave. Twilight felt like she knew nothing around them and quite frankly didn’t like how everyone avoided her like the plague. Sure she might have been a little… apprehensive when asking questions, but that didn’t mean they had to avoid her.
“Nope, that’s it. Oh, and I’ve also discovered a way to travel to other universes other than ours by going through this one. Before you ask, I’ve determined that this is a sort of ‘central universe’. Think of this universe as sort of a circle and all other universes as sort of branches, all coming off of that circle, that one, central point. In order to go from one branch to another, you have to go through the central point. And this happens on a much larger scale. This universe could just be another branch in a much bigger tree. And all of this universe’s branches may be central universes to smaller trees, if that makes any sense. Now obviously it’s a lot more complicated than that, but that’s the best metaphor I could come up with. And to answer your question Gordon, I will be making a pit stop in your universe to drop you off. And also before any of you ask what the path home is, I will tell you. Each of us has a bit of a breadcrumb trail of unique energy. That will show each one of us to the right direction. It will also keep us from going into other universes. If you think exploring new planets is dangerous, imagine exploring a whole new universe .”
Shepard just stared. She wondered: could she maybe seek outside help against the Reaper threat? According to what the Doctor’s told her, since time is nonlinear and all universes have different time streams, she could take all the time she wanted in the other universes without worrying about running out of time in her universe. Just as she was about to ask the Doctor if the device he was going to give him would allow this, he turned to her. “No,” he stated matter-of-factly, “You may not bounce in between universes like a pinball machine. And that’s final.” He turned back to his audience, and noticing a new member, he addressed her. “Princess Celestia, on behalf of all of us, we thank you for your patience and assistance. If you would permit me a few hours to install the device, we will all soon be out of your mane.”
Celestia did a little bow and simply responded with, “It is no problem at all, take your time. As long as you are sure that you will be able to seal off the way. Who knows what could come here after you leave?” As if on cue, a massively blinding light flashed off in the sky nearby. Then a massive shockwave of energy could be felt, as if someone had dropped a pebble into a pond. Only much bigger. Running outside all at once, everyone looked around from the source, not knowing where it came from. All except Dr. Gordon Freeman, that is. He knew exactly where it came from and exactly what it was. Looking off of the balcony and off into the distance, about a hundred miles away, he saw what he hoped it wasn’t: the beginnings of a Combine Superportal. With a distant look in his eye, all he could manage to say was, “Shit.”
This Universe Just Got a Lot Smaller
Freeman couldn’t believe what he was seeing. And that was really saying something considering he’s seen a lot. A Combine Superportal? Here in Equestria? Why? Why did they have to come here ? To this peaceful world. The Seven Hour War that the humans experienced would seem like an eternity to the time it would take the Combine to take over this world. How did they even find this universe? They must have taken the way that Gordon took. Those heartless imperialists would stop at nothing to control all of existence. This was not going to end well for ponykind. That is, unless Freeman could somehow stop them. But that was the problem: it had taken so much effort and so many resources and man-hours to close the portal on Earth. He had no scientists other than himself with the knowledge on this and he certainly didn’t have any way to build what was necessary. Unless…
Freeman turned around to see the Doctor, crew of the Normandy, and everypony else looking at him. “What is that?” the Doctor asked.
Now Gordon didn’t like to display his emotions. He’d seen horrors that no man should witness and didn’t make a peep. But just thinking of the same things done to these harmless, innocent ponies, well, it made him feel sick to his stomach. He was running out of time. The scouts would be through in a couple of hours with the main war machine following a couple hours after. He had to explain his predicament to the Doctor or else he may not be able to execute his plan. You see, if he were able to get together an army; a really big army, they might be able to repel them long enough to let the Doctor seal the way. The Combine is an army of clones; they will never stop their assault once they get going. The Resistance wasn’t going to cut it; they were going to need outside help. Gordon had explained his universe to everyone there. He had explained the war, and how there were few humans left, and even fewer fighting back against the Combine forces, but he had neglected to tell anyone, save for the Doctor and Shepard, about all the gruesome details. What the soldiers really were, what happened to those who rebelled and weren’t killed immediately but were captured instead, and worse yet, those… things. The creatures from the universe Xen: the headcrabs. How the Combine actually weaponized them like a plague. Gordon explained their problem and the brutalities of the Combine to everyone, sparing no detail, to give them a sense of just how urgent things were.
Celestia had faced a lot of problems during her rule. Discord, Nightmare Moon, the eighties, and she had faced them all with a level head. But when she heard Freeman relay everything to them, and just how bad these things were, a small part of her just wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for everything to fix itself. But she couldn’t, she had to lead Equestria. But her guards mostly dealt with drunken brawls and petty thievery, not wars; and certainly not of this magnitude. How were they going to do it? But then Freeman turned to the Doctor and asked him if he could do something that he just told Shepard they couldn’t: go to other universes. They would have all the time they needed and maybe, just maybe, find others out there willing to help. To Celestia’s surprise, the Doctor agreed. They needed to do something, and fast. Wasting no time he ushered Shepard and Freeman to follow him as he ran to the TARDIS.
The Doctor was running, thinking, and talking at the same time. It wasn’t easy, but he was going to do whatever he had to to save Equestria from the Combine. He had fought a war like this before, and he wasn't about to let it end like that again. “Commander, Gordon and I are going to borrow Joker, Tali, and the Normandy so we can go get reinforcements. I think that a ship would be easier to move people than the TARDIS. I need you and the rest of your crew here to work with everyone you can to save as many ponies as possible. Go tell everyone what they have to do and go tell Celestia what I just said.” With a nod, Shepard broke off from the other two and ran back to tell the others the plan. Arriving at the TARDIS the Doctor quickly ran in and just as quickly came back out with a small handheld device in his hand, no larger than an iPod. Running with Freeman to the Normandy they boarded it and while Freeman went to the Armory to arm up (he’d decided to leave his weapons there instead of lying about the castle) the Doctor ran to the engine room and plugged the device into the ship’s mainframe. Shepard had already told EDI to allow the Doctor full and unrestricted access weeks ago, so he had no resistance from her. Installation completed, the Doctor ran into Tali on the way back to the elevator and told her that she would have no more issues traveling through inter-dimensional wormholes than she would traveling through normal space. But he wanted her here all the same, being the ship’s Chief Engineer and all. Back up at the bridge, the Doctor had already told Joker that they were ready to go via the intercom system, so without further ado, the Normandy lifted off from the ground for the first time in weeks and flew right through the other glass wall of the ballroom. The Doctor had already briefed Joker on how to use the device once it was installed, so with a push of a button, an energy field engulfed the entire ship and in an instant they were gone.
The Normandy was traveling everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They were moving through a wormhole that was just one of many with more surrounding them on all sides. The act of traveling through different dimensions is a sight which could only be described as seeing beauty in its most raw and physical form. Lights of all colors danced across everyone’s eyes, and even the Doctor was speechless at the sheer size of reality that they were looking at. They were looking into all of space, with no idea where they would end up. The Doctor had installed a program into the inter-dimensional “thingamajig” as Joker liked to put it. The program would allow them to pinpoint life from billions of light-years away. Space is mostly empty, so with the Time Lord technology the Doctor had access to, it wasn’t actually that difficult. The just had to search for energy signatures unique to organic life and if there was enough of said life in the same general area, they would be able to pick it up. Or something like that; Joker wasn’t really paying attention.
The Normandy jerked left and right, a feeling not unlike the one that Joker experiences when entering a Mass Relay’s field. All of a sudden, the feeling stopped and the colors that once nearly blinded them were replaced with the ever expansive darkness of space. The life detecting program had already locked them on to the nearest location with a significant amount of life; not surprisingly a planet. The question remained however: what was down there?
BRGGGGGG BRGGGGG
The sound of a chainsaw filled the air as all around bullets flew while their targets crouched behind cover. Rushing forward a muscled man in tattered armor jumped the first unlucky victim. Slicing through it like a hot knife through butter, the prey was left in half on the ground, no more. Standing over his kill was a blood covered Marcus Fenix, with a scowl on his face and a Lancer in his hands; the perfect depiction of the grisliness of war.
Meanwhile his squad, Dominic Santiago, Damon Baird, and Augustus Cole, had eliminated the rest of the Locust mob that had ambushed them when they were trying to get back to the main body of the army. Before they could continue though, a large spaceship swept in below the dark clouds and hovered right in front of them.
Granted, these were hardened soldiers, so it was only natural for them to take cover and aim their most destructive weapons directly at the ship. They were pretty sure that the COGs didn’t have this technology, so whoever it was was about to get blown the hell up. A door near the front of the ship opened and a figure appeared, silhouetted against the bright light from inside the ship.
“Man, what the fuck is this shit? Are we in the Twilight Zone or some shit like that now?” Cole asked.
Fenix raised a hand to silence him and, taking a ballsy move stood up out of cover to face the unexpected visitor.
“What the hell are you doing? You wanna get shot? Get back down!” Baird yelled.
Fenix looked forward, “Who, and what, are you?”
The Doctor took a deep breath, “I am the Doctor, a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, on a human built trans-dimensional ship from another dimension that came from a world of pastel colored magical talking equines that are currently about to be invaded by an inter-dimensional army of evil imperialist clones. So I and my associate, a PhD in theoretical physics who fights aliens with a crowbar and a zero point energy heavy lifter are traveling through all of existence enlisting the help of anyone who might be able to repel them until I can close the portal they’re going to travel through.” He looked down at them waiting for a response.
“Damn…” Cole muttered and proceeded to pass out.
Celestia looked out over the horizon at her kingdom. Her land. Her dynasty. And it was all about to be taken by an army of aliens that until three weeks ago she hadn’t ever heard of. How she envied herself then. The Elder Sister looked off at her sun; in the other direction, Luna’s moon. Both were on opposite ends of the sky, but both clearly visible to anypony who looked up. It was an ancient alert system, devised by Celestia after the Nightmare Moon incident. When both celestial bodies were in the sky simultaneously for more than a few moments, it meant something was wrong and that everypony should get to a safe location. She was saddened deeply, not only because her country was in danger, but also because she was essentially powerless to stop it. And even worse, she knew that she couldn’t save everypony. She just had to hope that the Combine don’t get that far.
“Princess, the city’s population has gathered in the old abandoned gem mines not far from here, I recommend we do the same,” a guard stated, entering the room with a small detachment of troops, including Commander Shepard.
It had been a little over three hours since the Normandy disappeared in that brilliant flash, and Shepard wasted no time giving orders to everyone nearby. Celestia watched, as she had no idea what to do in this situation. Besides, she thought, it was probably best left to Shepard anyways. Apparently she had done this before on a planet called Elysium. From what Celestia had heard, Shepard single handedly banded together a settlement’s rag tag garrison and repelled wave after wave of enemies with superior numbers and weaponry. But she succeeded anyway and went on to be promoted to the rank of commander soon after.
While Shepard continued giving commands, Celestia had to figure out how to tell her subjects about the situation. She sent a guard to gather Luna and another to gather their Cabinet. Within minutes they all gathered around a table with a map of Equestria spread out across them. The Cabinet was in charge of moving everypony into the nearby mines. Luna was taking a squad of the pegasi corps and was going to the other cities to spread the word. Celestia was afraid for her sister but knew that Luna could at least teleport to the moon for safety. But she knew Luna would not leave her subjects like that; they were here ponies too. Celestia just prayed that they would find a place to hide. Celestia’s job was to figure out a way to quickly tell the populace about a species from an entirely different dimension was in Equestria to help them repel another species from another dimension from taking over this dimension. She had decided to just say country instead of dimension and also decided to leave out all the gory details. There was no need to panic them anymore than she was already going to. She knew most would follow without question. On the bright side though, the Elder Dragon Council and the Griffon Monarchy both agreed to send troops to combat the Combine force. Celestia accepted with enthusiasm; they were going to need all the help they could get.
It had been two hours since that happened. The dragon and griffon army were setting up a perimeter around the portal’s projected drop off area. It wasn’t perfect, but it was something. Now most of Canterlot, Cloudsdale, Ponyville, and other nearby areas safely hidden in the old abandoned gem mines, once the greatest source of income for Canterlot (it was replaced with fashion and other fine art) now little more than caverns. It wasn’t going to be too much longer until Celestia joined them in there along with Shepard and her crew; that was the plan, until…
“I’m not going,” Celestia stated plainly.
“Princess, please. We need to get you to safety,” one of the guards argued, but he already knew it wasn’t going to change her mind.
“No. However, you and the rest of the royal guard ARE going in. I will seal the way in when you are all in safely.” The guard was about to outright object when Celestia added, “That’s an order.” They stared at each other but the guard faltered quickly under the pure gaze of his princess.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good.” Celestia watched them all leave, except Shepard. She reached a finger into her earpiece, activating it.
“Garrus, gather the rest of the crew and get to the castle, the princess is refusing to leave, so we aren’t either.”
“Shepard, no, I cannot allow you to risk the lives of you and your crew,” Celestia disputed. Right as she was about to continue Twilight and her friends stepped into the room.
“If you’re not leaving Princess, then I’m not either.”
“Twilight…”
“And if Twilight’s not leaving, then we’re not either,” Rainbow Dash added.
Celestia stared at them all in disbelief; she looked at their determined faces and silently pleaded with them to go. She didn’t want them to get hurt, or worse. But they wouldn’t budge. She bowed her head in defeat. Garrus came into the room with the rest of the crew behind him.
“Uh, Commander? Where do you want us to set up?”
“Twilight could you please show them to a room preferably underground and without any windows?” the commander asked.
“I know just the place Shepard; come on you all,” Twilight said, gesturing to her friends, “let’s go help them set up. I know the perfect place. We’ll go to the vault. It’s this giant underground room that holds all of Equestria’s precious metals. Seeing as how these are desperate times, I figured we could use the metals to set up barricades and defenses.”
“That’s an excellent idea Twilight,” Celestia complemented. Twilight smiled and walked past Garrus into the hallway. Her friends looked at each other, shrugged, and followed. Garrus looked at Shepard and with an affirmative nod, Garrus and every other crew member of the Normandy followed the six down the hall.
Shepard looked at Celestia; she had turned back to the window and just stared out of it, obviously deep in contemplation. Shepard started to walk out the door but Celestia’s voice stopped her.
“Am I a bad leader?”
Shepard turned around to see Celestia still staring out the window. “What?”
“Am I a bad leader? I seem to be. I can’t even defend my ponies when they need it. What makes me so important? I never liked that word. Important. Some ponies think themselves more important than others. The noble more important than the pony who cleans his house. Importance is all made up. Who am I to say that I am more important than the pony next to me?”
Shepard was a little taken aback at this outburst. But she couldn’t say nothing. “Princess, you are important, and you are a good leader. But that doesn’t mean others aren’t. Everyone is important, because everyone is necessary. Without a people, a government would have no one to govern and would cease to function, and thus cease to be important. Likewise, without a government a people would have no one to control them and keep them from doing stupid things and tearing each other apart. Thus society would collapse, leaving the people as a whole, unimportant. Only together do you have a country. Some people just seem to forget this and think themselves above others. That is where that word- importance- comes from. As for you being a good ruler, well, I’ve been all over my galaxy, and I’ve seen good rulers and bad rulers. Of course, there are good rulers, and then there are good rulers. Even evil rulers can be good, just by not having their country or economy, or way of life collapse. However, they are often feared and hated by their subjects. Good rulers can do everything the evil ruler can be but also be loved by their people at the same time. Celestia, I’ve looked around, I’ve seen Canterlot and its ponies, and I can tell you, you are loved. You’ve also kept this country alive and strong for over a thousand years. That is almost ten times longer than the Mongol empire back on Earth, and that was one of the largest empires in our history. By the very definition you are a good ruler. Not only that, but the greatest ruler I have ever seen.”
Celestia sighed, “I hope you’re right,” she said, “Well, let’s go see about making sure no one gets in to the caverns after my little ponies.” With that, Celestia set off with Shepard in tow.
Ten hours. It was ten hours since the Superportal first showed up in Equestria. They had seen neither hide nor hair from the Normandy. Luna came back, surprisingly. She said that she didn’t want to face this alone, and while the feeling wasn’t verbally reciprocated by Celestia, everyone knew she felt the same way. Luna had flown all around Equestria making sure everypony was safe. It wasn’t easy but the Manehattanites took cover in the old underground railway system, Fillydelphians took cover in the nearby mountains, and the Midwestern cities all traveled Far East into the unexplored. Most didn’t know what was there and reports were dodgy at best, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Twilight, her friends, Celestia, Luna, Shepard, and the rest of the Normandy sans Joker and Tali were all waiting in the throne room. No one talked, no one murmured, the air was thick with apprehension. All just stared out the windows, waiting, watching. Behind them a large explosive sound shattered the veil of silence.
Running outside they were greeted with the Normandy, neatly hovering a couple feet off of the ground, before smoothly landing on the soft turf of the palace lawn. The doors opened and standing there was a slightly disheveled Doctor and a stoic Gordon Freeman. Stepping off of the Normandy the Doctor walked forward and shook Shepard’s hand.
“Commander Jane Shepard, Princess Celestia and Luna, and all the rest I would normally name but due to time constraints I will not, may I present to you: our army.
On cue Freeman stepped out of the way with Joker and Tali walking out- “Uh ha ha… not them,” he chuckled nervously, as the two regrouped with the mass of people/ponies waiting in front of the Normandy.
The first to step out was a woman. Slender, with clothes not quite long enough to cover her torso, but with enough guns on her to silence anyone who pointed this out. Behind her a just as slender male in leather armor with a goatee and was that a… falcon? Behind him a larger, sturdier built man with large muscles but not so many he retains some dexterity. Last, but not least, lest your life be shortened substantially, a large behemoth of a man with fists as large as trashcan lids. No, scratch that; trashcans .
Lining up next to the doorway the Doctor recited their names: Lilith, Mordecai, Roland, and Brick, respectively.
Up next stepped out four men who rivaled Brick in size and lethality, “Marcus, Dom, Cole, and Baird,” the Doctor stated, taking their place next to the previous four.
“Man Marcus, I can’t believe that I’m doing this shit,” Cole said.
Next off was an unlikely person compared to everyone previous: a man, sharply dressed, perhaps late twenties to early thirties, wearing, of all things a suit. He had a martini in one hand and a PDA in the other.
“Aloha, or whatever you… ponies say,” he said in an uninterested voice, “My name is Tony Stark. Pleasure to be here, but tell me: why the hell aren’t any of you wearing clothes?”
The Doctor quickly forced him aside just as the next person came out. Another female in dark armor that looked like it could stop a rocket. With what was presumably the helmet for it in her hand she did a little curtsey to the crowd.
“And who might this be?” Celestia asked.
“I am called a lot of things back home: The Last, Best Hope for Humanity, the Wasteland Wanderer, Kid from Vault 101, blah blah blah… but I prefer Isabella.”
While she was talking a low, thumping sound could be heard from inside the ship. It sounded like heavy boots hitting the ground and seemed to be drawing nearer to the door. Rarity screamed, for standing in the doorway was a creature unlike anything she had ever seen before. It had a large diving helmet on and a heavy diving suit. It was covered in dried seaweed and other oceanic flora. On one hand it held a drill larger than a small filly and the other hand coursed with a blue electric energy.
“This is Subject Delta,” the Doctor chimed in. “So named because of the symbol on his glove, considering he won’t talk to us. Although, come to think of it, I don’t think he can talk. It was a miracle we got him to come with us in the first place. But seriously, you do not want to know where we had to go to get him.”
Next out was a moderately sized man. In his hands was a sniper rifle and on his back an assault rifle. He didn’t look that imposing compared to some of the others, but then again, looks can be deceiving. After all, he was covered head to toe in green armor and the space around him gave off a slight buzz, as if there was a field surrounding him.
“SPARTAN Master Chief John 117 ready for duty,” he stated. Then without another word he moved right to the side for the next person.
“Well, they certainly are… a diverse bunch,” Twilight said.
Next out was probably the weirdest group. Nine in all. They stood there, looking at the crowd staring back at them.
“I have no idea,” another said with a German one.
“Doctor I don’t like zis,” a third said with a Russian dialect.
Fluttershy, who had up until now not really said anything, commented “It’s like… I’ve seen all these people before.”
“Yeah,” agreed Rainbow Dash, “Especially that skinny one with the hat and sweat bands.”
They soon learned their names… or, professions rather. Engineer, Scout, Demoman, Medic, Heavy, Spy, Sniper, Soldier, and Pyro.
“Doctor,” Celesta started, “this is a great start, but where are all the other soldiers? I mean, there really aren’t that many here.”
“Ah, yes, well… these were all we could find,” the Doctor replied sheepishly. “It is a big reality out there and very little of it has life. These are the elite of the elite though; the best soldiers ever. They could take on an army easy. But just in case… I’ll be right back.”
The Doctor bolted past all of them and ran straight to his TARDIS. Jumping inside it took off, leaving everyone wondering where he went.
“Bloody wanker, tosses us here an’ just takes off like that without paying us. We are getting paid still right?” Sniper asked. Before anyone could respond however, the TARDIS reappeared a couple feet away from where it took off.
“Sorry ‘bout that. Had to run an errand. Did anything happen while I was gone? No? Good. Then, without further ado, I present, your army,” the Doctor enthusiastically stated, secretly hoping no one was mad about him taking off like that. Turning around he ushers to someone not visible to the rest of the group. Running out of the way the TARDIS burst forth with energy, as the box visibly expanded so that the door’s opening was large enough to fit a motorcycle through, now a car, now a...
“Nifty little trick isn’t it?” the Doctor rhetorically asked while beaming pride in his ship as a tank rolled through the new opening. Followed by another, and another, flanked on both sides by heavily armed foot soldiers. By the end of it all a total of five hundred tanks and twenty thousand soldiers were out and now spread on the formerly pristine palace garden. Suffice it to say, there was not much room left on the lawn and Joker had to move the Normandy somewhere else to make more.
Celestia was dumbfounded, and quite frankly so was everyone else there.
“I called in a favor, or two, or a lot,” the Doctor answered in a response to their stunned looks at the size of this so called ‘favor’. “May I present the United States Army 1st army 5th Corps circa 2012 ACE. Consider it your army Celestia, and before you ask, I would like to show you just who is going to be in charge of this force: one of the greatest military minds in United States history. The people who gave me this army told me, being the paranoid people they are, that I had to use a US general, not any other nationality. Sir?” With that verbal cue another man appeared in the doorway of the TARDIS.
He stood there, giving off an air of authority. His face had a slight scowl on it as he took in the surroundings. You could just tell from his stance that he was a man who held himself in very high esteem. His eyes reflected a look that conveyed knowledge gained from firsthand experiences. His black-as-night boots went all the way up to his knees. With broad shoulders and enough ribbons on his chest to show just how much he had done in his life he took a step out of the TARDIS. He wore a helmet similar to ones worn by the common ground troop during 20th century conflicts. As traditional his rank was displayed on it in the form of four gold five-pointed stars.
At the sight of him all movement from the soldiers stopped and they turned to salute him. General George S. Patton looked upon the chaos with disgust. Immediately he turned to the nearest soldier to him.
“Lieutenant, gather up all the commanding officers and have them meet me over by those steps,” he said, gesturing to the steps that led up into the castle, “if we’re going to fight this war, we’re going to fight it right.” The soldier saluted and ran off. Patton walked up to the group of onlookers. He approached Shepard first.
“Commander Jane Shepard, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. It is an honor to meet you General,” Shepard said, saluting him.
“The honor is mine if what I heard from the Doctor is true. My orders came from President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill themselves. The first thing they said was ‘listen to the Doctor.’ He said that your men are yours only and that I am to think of you as my equal. While I may not be familiar with these weapons or these men’s training, the basic tactics are the same. We all take a page from the great Sun Tzu and thus I should have no problem commanding any of these troops.” He turned to Princess Celestia, but before he could say anything she interjected.
“General, please make use of anything you need to; the entire palace is at your disposal. I am not familiar with you or this Sun Tzu, and Equestria just invented the matchlock. From what Shepard has told me we still have a long way to go in advancement of military technology before we get to a level sufficient enough to fight the Combine. So you are in charge of the military and its actions.”
“Yes ma’am,” Patton said, saluting. “However, I will need to look at everything you have done thus far.”
“Of course, this way please…”
Patton was pleased with this setup now. In just three hours he had mobilized his entire army and spread them to various locations around Equestria according to how Patton thought the Combine would attack. He felt it best if Celestia’s actions were let be, so the dragon and griffon entrenchment surrounding the portal stayed put. With help from the TARDIS he managed to split his forces evenly among Canterlot (Alpha Garrison), the area surrounding Canterlot (Bravo Division), and Manehattan and its surrounding area (Charlie Division) in otherwise impossible times. After that the Doctor had gone back to wherever he got these troops from and managed to get fifty F-18 fighter jets. All of them were put into the Equestrian guard training grounds as it was the only level and long enough piece of land that the jets could utilize as a runway. In no time they had managed to turn it into a sufficient runway and as a result morale increased dramatically from the new air power.
Shepard was put in charge of the “super soldiers” as Patton called them. She divided them into teams based on where they came from. So there was a Red team (Sniper, Medic, Demo, Heavy, Engineer, Pyro, Scout, Spy, and Soldier), a Pandora Team (Brick, Roland, Lilith, and Mordecai), Delta Squad (Marcus, Dom, Cole, and Baird), the Normandy team (Shepard and her ground team), and The Misfits (Isabella, Master Chief, and Subject Delta); Tony Stark was resolute in his stance about not being put in a team, stating he worked better by himself. The Great Hall was set up as Head Quarters, much to Shepard’s chagrin. She didn’t like how open the Hall was and that it was susceptible to enemy attacks. So Celestia magically reinforced the windows so that they would only break under the greatest forces.
“But bullets could still break it?” Shepard asked.
“Well, yes, I suppose they could,” Celestia conceded.
“Then what’s the point?”
“Well, I suppose if that happens we could move into the vault like originally planned,” the Doctor suggested.
“Fine. But as soon as one of those windows so much as cracks we’re moving. We have to protect the princesses,” Shepard argued.
“Very well, when they appear to be in danger, we will move them,” the Doctor agreed.
“You know, we can take care of ourselves,” Luna interjected.
“Yes, but there’s a chance you could get hurt, and we can’t take that risk,” Shepard responded.
“But we’re immortal,” Celestia stated.
“You know, that does bring up a good question Princess,” Twilight said, “if you truly can’t be killed and are all powerful, why couldn’t you just take them by yourself?”
“My dear student, it is because while we could destroy them, it would be like trying to hold rice with your bare hooves. You might be able to hold most of the grains, some would inevitably slip through. Although in this case instead of rice it would be incredibly lethal and violent soldiers. We can’t allow that to happen. So all of this is to make sure that no one gets through. Also, we have no idea what the Combine technology would do to us. For all we know it could be the one thing that does kill us.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” said Twilight.
So all was set up and ready to go. Twilight and her friends stayed in HQ, although they had no idea how they were going to help. Patton and the Doctor were the ‘generals’ in this war, as the Doctor specifically stated he would not fight. Red team was moved to Manehattan to provide support there. The Misfits were sent to Ponyville while Delta Squad was sent to what were soon to become the front lines. Normandy team stayed to provide a reinforced garrison in Canterlot, specifically near the palace. Stark said he was going to take a walk around Canterlot and left, much to everyone’s frustration. And the Pandora team covered the rest of Canterlot that Normandy team wasn’t going to. Freeman stayed knew their tactics. Everyone was ready, and everyone was waiting.
Twenty four hours. It had been a whole day since all of this began and there had been no sign from the Combine. Everyone remained vigilant though; they did not want to be snuck up on.
Thirty six hours. It was getting a little boring, to say the least, but Patton was as alert as ever.
“Patience,” he said.
Forty eight hours. People were getting tired of waiting. Soldiers slept in shifts and some of HQ started playing Risk to pass the time.
“Your India is mine!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash. When all of a sudden a large explosive sound tore through the air, not unlike the one that set all these events into motion. Everyone looked to the Superportal to see that it had changed hue to a deep red infused blue. Lightning of unnatural patterns started striking the ground when, from out of the portal ships of massive size started moving in an outward movement in all directions.
Patton looked at this scene, and without hesitation turned around, looking at all the people staring back.
“Showtime.”
The Combine invasion force came in through the portal at full might, completely bypassing the usual scouting force that they sent when they invaded Freeman’s Earth. Large ships the size of aircraft carriers swooped down out of the skies and landed on the ground wherever there was room. Even if that meant landing on top of certain… objects. Namely the dragons and griffons that had set up the first defense. It didn’t matter to the ships though; they were solid metal of some unknown but durable alloy so didn’t take any damage from the impact.
Marcus cringed as he saw one of the large ships land right on top of five dragons without warning. What made it worse was that all around him he saw it happening everywhere else too. In one instance it was a few griffons, another, some dragons and griffons. The point was that Equestria’s first line of defense was all but annihilated. What was worse was that even though ten of those large ships had landed, there were still more coming through the portal and instead of stopping and dropping their troops, they spread out, like ripples from a stone dropped in water. Some moved towards Canterlot, other Manehattan; and still more moved towards the Everfree Forest or the Great Western Frontier. These ships looked like large pieces of unrefined ore one might find in a mine. These carriers were coal black and managed levitation through some unseen force. They were longer than they were wide, making them look rectangular, but one end was slightly wider than the other. There were large right angles jutting out of them at seemingly random points and large blue fields surrounded various holes in these monstrosities that large helicopter-like ships came out of. The only thing off with these helicopters was that they seemed almost… alive. Not to mention that they could manage turns that would shear any helicopters Marcus had ever seen in half. Soon the sky was filled with these things and what few dragons and griffons that were left took to the air to fight the new foe. No sooner had this happened then large hatches opened on the sides of all of the ships that landed, creating gaps that could easily fit your average hydra through. These too had blue fields surrounding them and what walked through them were large tan hued spider-like creatures three stories tall. Flanked on all sides of these were smaller but sturdier built blue creatures. These had eyes on top of each other and made a horrible screeching noise. Behind them still were the Combine soldiers themselves. All of them carried some sort of weapon that Marcus had never seen before. They looked like miniatures of the large carriers that they emerged from.
Delta Squad ran as fast as they could, but it didn’t seem to help at all. They couldn’t outrun the choppers or Hunters and had to keep taking cover to avoid damage. But before they could be overwhelmed, a familiar sound could be heard. Right in front of them appeared the TARDIS and out walked the Doctor, apparently un-phased by what was going on around him.
“Get in,” he said and without another word all four COGs ran past him and into the little blue box. The Doctor took one look around and quickly ran back inside. Marcus saw him run to the center of the surprisingly large room and hit a couple buttons and throw a few switches.
“I’m going to get us up close to the portal so I can shut it off,” he explained. “It shouldn’t take very long, but even if I do manage to get it closed, there’s still the rather large matter of ‘taking care’ of these remaining forces. And if this battle-if you could call it that- is any indication, it is a large problem indeed.” The Doctor reached under his console and pulled a box about the size of a lap top out from some unseen space. It pulsed faintly with a green light but other than that it was completely smooth with no obvious means of accessing its inside components- if it had any. Connected to it was a thick wire that ran another console on the side of the room and went into some sort of outlet.
“Marcus, I need you to take this and throw it into the portal. That will give me a direct connection to whatever is holding this thing open,” the Doctor said. Marcus took the box from the Doctor and walked to the door. Opening it, he came face to face with the edge of the portal. Emerging from it was yet another Combine carrier. Marcus thought it looked big from far away, but up close this thing looked colossal . It was already halfway through so Marcus threw the box as hard as he could toward the portal. While his throw was close to the edge of the portal, he was far from the center of it so he had no idea how it was going to work. But by some unseen force the box was pulled into the portal. Marcus looked behind him to see the wire that was connected being pulled taut. The TARDIS lurched forward and the Doctor quickly set to work at the central console trying to stabilize it so she didn’t fall into the portal. After that he ran to another console, this one on the edge of the wall near the outlet the wire was plugged into and started punching in commands. Delta Squad looked at the portal when suddenly the portal pulsed, sending blue energy in all directions. Dom stumbled and lost his balance, falling forward and out the TARDIS.
“Dom!” Marcus yelled. He jumped forward to grab Dom’s arm but too slid right out of the TARDIS. Cole jumped but the Doctor caught him before he could follow through.
“Stop, you’ll just fall out too; there’s nothing you can do,” he said grimly.
“Oh fuck,” Baird swore.
It had been ten minutes since the Doctor took off in his TARDIS to shut down the portal when a large pulse from it shook Canterlot Palace. Plaster from the ceilings and walls fell around everyone, threating them, but quick action on Luna and Celestia’s part caught the large pieces. The pulse upset tables and the shattering of glass was heard as the windows that Celestia had previously enchanted burst into tiny pieces. Before Shepard could say anything Celestia picked the diminutive shards up and using her magic reformed them into place.
“That doesn’t count,” Celestia remarked.
As Shepard was about to offer a rebuttal the TARDIS could be heard rematerializing behind her. Whipping around she saw a disheveled Doctor followed by a distraught looking Cole and Baird. But behind them, she saw no one else.
“Where’s Marcus and Dom?” she asked, fearing she already knew the answer. Cole didn’t make eye contact and just walked towards the balcony overlooking the palace gardens. Baird did look up to see Shepard but offered no verbal reply, his pained expression conveying the message. He too turned and followed Cole.
The portal sent out another shockwave, only this time larger and much more violent, however Celestia was ready this time and no damage came to the palace. It then started spinning faster until it finally collapsed in on itself, sucking in everything nearby. The ship that was almost completely out of the portal was pulled back in in a much faster speed, cleaving it right down the middle. The half closer to the portal was sucked back in but the half closer to the ground fell. It fell slowly, speeding up more and more, before colliding with the ground in a brilliant explosion of blue and white fire that could be clearly seen from the balcony where everyone stood.
“I suppose that covers the issue of those carriers. But before that portal closed I counted at least thirty more ships,” Patton said. “We’re going to have to spread out but we just might be able to kill these things.” No sooner had he said this than a large explosion had been heard outside. Running to investigate Luna found herself face to face with a Hunter. A large crack resounded through the air and the Hunter dropped to the ground dead. Behind it holding a smoking shotgun was the calm as ever Dr. Freeman.
All around them what remained of the Alpha Garrison near the castle was fighting off the Combine forces that dropped seemingly from nowhere. Unlike the first defense though, they were having some success. Even the Striders dropping from the sky made things only a little more difficult. The tanks that the garrison had made dispatching them easy.
“I don’t get it; this battle is fairly evenly matched, but Dr. Freeman said that their war lasted seven hours with the Combine winning,” Rainbow Dash pondered, confused.
“Well, they were caught by surprise. Perhaps since we had warning to gather up all these soldiers we were able to fair better,” Twilight postulated.
None of the humans were listening though as the Doctor and Patton were forcing the ponies back inside and Normandy Team plus Freeman and the rest of Delta Squad were taking cover, helping to clear the garden of immediate threat.
A large roaring sound could be heard as several jets flew overhead, shooting down the choppers and transports to the whoops and cheers of the soldiers on the ground. While air superiority seemed assured for the moment, all focus turned to eliminating the rest of the ground forces. Out of nowhere, dozens of large blue balls of energy were seen soaring through the sky, landing on various objects, including tanks and crowds of soldiers, both human and Combine. These orbs pulsed for a short time before emitting a high pitched scream and detonating. Tanks and soldiers were completely obliterated as another wave of these grenades rained hell down upon the battlefield. Off in the distance Gordon could see triangular floating pod-like crafts, throwing these orbs like a catapult throws a stone. Gordon pointed this out to Shepard and she ordered the jets redirect and attack these things.
Right after leaving to eliminate the new targets, a large shadow fell over the battlefield. A Combine carrier had hovered right over them, blotting out the sun. Dropping from it were several smaller platforms that hovered to the ground. The humans blasted away at these with every weapon they had, but it was ineffective as the underside of this platform seemed reinforced by something as strong as the outside of the carrier. Everyone ran into cover, waiting to see what was being transported. Several Striders and large pods that looked sort of like the catapult ones that had assaulted them only moments before. These however had legs and as they stood up they each revealed a large Gatling gun on their underbellies. Before the tanks could even respond, the Striders started giving off a high pitched whine accompanied by what looked like blue tracker beams. These were aimed at the tanks and before anyone could react, the battlefield was covered in a blinding blue light as the Striders fired their massively powerful warp cannons, vaporizing their targets. Tanks were reduced to molten metal and soldiers were fused to their cover, screaming in agony.
At this time the jets returned from their apparently successful mission to see the chaos that had ensued. They hovered right over their newer targets, getting ready to fire when a large sound like an artillery shell being fired could be heard. Pods ripped through some of the jets unlucky enough to be right under the carrier’s Headcrab Shell Launchers. These landed on the ground roughly; the pods were like metal elongated pills and on the end above the ground a compartment opened up.
Celestia looked in horror as the human soldiers who hadn’t been killed, were assaulted by small sac-like creatures that landed on their heads and with a terrible cry they would collapse, only to get back up and attack other human soldiers. One of these face huggers turned to face her and screamed as it jumped at the princess of the Sun herself. She got a good look at its underside: taken up mostly by a mouth with jagged sharp teeth and short but strong legs. Before it could hit her though a flash of red metal intercepted the Headcrab’s trajectory hitting it and sending it flying like a baseball. Gordon Freeman was currently fighting off the nearby parasites with his crowbar when he heard Shepard scream to everyone, “Fall back! I repeat, retreat back into the palace!”
Everyone ran into the great hall as Celestia quickly used her magic, along with Twilight and Luna, to reinforce the doors, making sure no one got through. With this much magic they were actually able to turn the wood into metal with the use of a basic transmutate spell, which they rapidly repeated with the windows and other doors.
“The sound of gunfire could still be heard outside, but it mostly sounded like it came from the Combine, most likely them cleaning up the mess they made with the Headcrabs. Everyone was drenched with sweat, panting heavily.
“This is madness,” Twilight said, “how can we expect to fight all of these things when we can’t even fight one? This is complete chaos !”
Everyone was dumbfounded; they had no idea what to do. Luna paced back and forth, trying to determine a solution to their problem, before smiling and turning back to the group.
“Chaos.”
Missiles rained down from the sky and mortars created massive craters in the streets, obliterating carts abandoned by the fleeing populace as Charlie Division engaged the Combine army with little success. Like their allies in Canterlot they were handling things well enough until the main body of the Combine formed together and attacked en masse. The soldiers were finding themselves being quickly overwhelmed by the Striders and Hunters (they did not have nearly as many tanks or jets as Canterlot Garrison). The remaining troops were reduced to fighting in buildings. One particular team however was doing just fine, using their unique skills together to dispatch any enemies in their path.
“Ubercharge ready!” Medic shouted.
“Ready doctor,” Heavy responded. Jumping out of cover right in line of sight of three Striders and a handful of Hunters, the Heavy started firing rounds out of his minigun like they would explode if he didn’t. Before they could fire back a red energy consumed him, creating an impenetrable skin of which bullets and rockets alike bounced off of. His squad mates took this opportunity to take out a few targets of their own. Scout ran past a Combine elite, bashing its skull in with a baseball bat, whipping past a few Hunters and under an arch connecting two houses. The Hunters chasing after him exploded in a glorious fountain of blood and bits as they reached the other side and encountered Demo’s mines. Sniper shot the head clean off a soldier and whipped out his Huntsman and shot an arrow at another soldier. Right before it got skewered on the wall behind it, its last thoughts were not this archery shit again. What’s with soldiers and bows?
Engineer was busy setting up sentries in strategic locations overlooking the battlefield, giving the rest of his squad covering fire. Solder and Pyro were back to back in the middle of the fray, each covering each other as they carved a bloody path through their enemies unfortunate enough to be in their way. Spy however was nowhere to be seen.
Sniper turned around to see a Combine soldier standing there staring at him before it crumpled to the ground, a knife in its back. Dusting off his shoulders and standing behind the now dead soldier was Spy.
“Nice of you to join the fight, mate,” Sniper said.
“You’re welcome,” Spy said before snatching up his blade and cloaking away, leaving Sniper alone again to pick off any enemy he sees fit.
Within mere minutes the area they were fighting in was wiped clean of enemies (not actually clean-there was a LOT of blood).
“Well, that takes care of them,” Soldier commented.
“Next area?” Engineer asked.
“Mmh hmm,” Pyro said… sort of.
Moving on to the next block they encountered more resistance; this time they were engaging the other soldiers. Wasting no time they ran headfirst into the fray.
Roland didn’t know if he could take much more of this. He was a treasure hunter, not a soldier. Okay, well he was a soldier. But that was a long time ago. Still, the Crimson Legion had nothing on these Combine. They were like a machine. Red Team was busy engaging the enemy on the other side of town while Pandora Team had their hands full on this side. The soldier was busy running from enemy to enemy blasting their heads off with his Jakobs shotgun. These guys were nothing though compared to some of the enemies he’d faced on Pandora like -Roland shuddered- Crawmerax. That damned, whatever it was would kick their asses dozens of times before they were actually able to take it down. Roland just wished he had a car right about now. There was one thing giving him trouble however: the Combine seemed to have no end to their troops, and Roland was getting tired. A screech broke through the sound of gunfire as Mordecai’s falcon swooped down on unsuspecting soldiers with razor sharp talons. Those who were fortunate enough to miss it were taken by the sniper’s rifle. Brick was running around with both his fists out beating the crap out of Hunters before they could react with their explosive barbs. Lilith would occasionally phase in and out of view, cutting down Combine with her submachine gun. All in all, they weren’t doing pretty badly. The plan was to make it to make their way to the League of Nations tower. It’s supposedly where nations from all over the world would meet up and discuss their issues. It apparently worked too because Equestria hasn’t had a war in centuries. That’s where all forces would rendezvous and fight their way back out, essentially sweeping over the city twice.
That was the plan anyways; it didn’t seem like it was going to actually go through. The Combine were coming from everywhere and there didn’t seem to be an end of their reinforcements. Roland didn’t like this at all: they were fighting a war of attrition. And at this rate the Combine would win. The way he figured, the Allies were going to need a really big strike against this army if they wanted to win. This was no way to fight this war. The sky was getting darker, but not because of the passage of time; the Combine carriers were right over the city. Roland made a judgment call, signaling to his teammates they ran to one of the buildings near them and he dropped a sentry to cover their retreat into the door. Cutting down any resistance along the way, their only objective was to get the hell out of the city.
Stopping at the other end of the structure they looked out into an empty street. An explosion from one end of it rocked the ground and a helicopter streaked overhead, trailing smoke as several pods flew after it. There was no way they were going to get out of Manehattan this way. But Roland spotted a stairway descending into the ground from a sidewalk; they had found a subway entrance. Running down into the station they found a map. Figuring out the right way to go, they made their way down one end of the tunnel, determined to get out of the city before everything goes to hell.
The entire journey was uneventful; the Combine either had yet to get far enough to work their way into the underground subway system, or they hadn’t found it. Roland really hoped it was the latter. Before he could continue his thoughts Brick accidentally tripped into a door in the wall, breaking it open. The noise reverberated throughout the tunnel, making Roland cringe. Old stairs on the other side of the door gave him pause: where’d these stairs go? He just had to find out now. Ushering everyone inside, he closed the door behind him, hoping no one was following.
This was getting really tiring; Red Team had just cleared another block but there seemed to be no end to the Combine.
“I thought the whole point of closing the portal was so we didn’t have to deal with this,” Scout complained.
“’Invincibility lies in the defense; the possibility of victory in the attack,’” Soldier responded.
“What the hell does that even mean?” Medic asked.
“It means shut your mouth and push forward, or else we’ll be eating dirt for dinner,” Soldier chided.
“Whatever man,” Scout said.
Pushing through the legion of soldiers, the team found no end to their issues. However since they themselves were nigh unbeatable, the entire battle was at a sort of an impasse. There was one weakness to their fighting, and that was they were getting tired; and with exhaustion comes mistakes.
“Goddamn it. I should’ve blown his head clean off,” Sniper exclaimed with frustration.
Engineer was transporting a dispenser forward to where Heavy could use it, but he tripped and dropped the toolbox, constructing it right in the line of enemy fire where it was promptly destroyed. Spy de-cloaked right in front of a Hunter he neglected to notice and in was only a stray rocket from Soldier that hit the Hunter and saved his life. The problems were evident though, and apparently this was happening all over Manehattan.
Demo was listening to his comm (he programmed it to play music) whilst blowing a Strider to bits when a transmission from Field Command, the people in charge of Charlie Division, came over it.
“Attention, the city is lost, fall back. I say again: Manehattan is lost, fall back! ”
“Oy, we need to get the fuck outta here NOW!” Demo shouted to his squadmates. They retreated into a nearby building and were about to go out the door on the other side when it burst open and Combine spilled from the newly created hole in the wall.
“Shit, this way,” Sniper redirected them upstairs to an office complex; after blockading the door they noticed large windows in the walls. Through one of the windows could be spotted the roof of another building. Shooting out the window with a shotgun blast Engineer jumped onto the roof. Following was the rest of the team, with Spy taking up the rear. Before he could get through the window the Combine forced their way into the room. Spy looked between his allies and his enemies and made his choice.
“Go, I’ll cover you,” he said to them, diving behind cover and pulling out his Ambassador.
“But Spy-“Sniper started.
“Go!” he shouted, and without another word he dove out of cover, putting six bullets into six different heads before jumping back into cover and reloading.
Red Team did what he told them to, and ran across the roof before jumping one and a half stories onto the ground below. It wasn’t long before they were being shot at again from the direction they came from. All of the mercenaries were hardened warriors, but they were a team, and teams stuck together. That team was just reduced to eight. Mourning would have to come later though because they, the living, were still in danger; so they ran, and didn’t stop. Ducking down into a nearby alley, the group pausing to catch their breaths, they noticed they weren’t being followed anymore. Only the sound of heavy panting and distant gunfire was heard; no one spoke a word.
“So… what do we do now?” Soldier asked.
“Ze only sing ve can do,” Medic said, “try to get out of ze city.”
“But there’s no way we’ll make it,” Engineer argued, “We’re too far into the center of the city, if we try and go all the way out, we’ll just get slaughtered by the hordes of Combine we’re bound to run into.”
Demo sighed, “Then I guess we try and make it to the original rendezvous point in hopes that there will be some way to leave that way.
So they moved, quickly, quietly, just hoping that the League of Nations building was still intact and in allied hands. But as they reached their destination their hopes fell. The LN building was about fifty stories tall, and about two blocks wide. A wall wrapped around the perimeter and several trees dotted around that. The wall broke on one side, taken place instead by a round courtyard with a large fountain of a pony, a griffon, and a dragon all standing, seemingly welcoming in anyone who walked this way. At least, that what it was supposed to be; the fountain’s water was red with the blood of a dead alliance soldier lying face down in the shallow pool. Part of the dragon’s head was missing, most likely blown off by an explosion. Smoldering wreckage of several tanks sat in the courtyard, and bodies were scattered haphazardly about the area. The team ran forward into the building, not waiting to see if anyone was outside. Scout bolted ahead and quickly checked all the rooms. Bodies of each side lay everywhere, obvious signs that a bloody battle had taken place. They had yet to find out who the victor was though. Traveling upwards to the roof where there was supposed to be a helicopter, they paused when a wheezing sound could be heard on the other side of a large conference room they were crossing. A dying alliance soldier lay propped against the leg of the conference table with a smoking stump where his left arm used to be and large gas cutting across his torso.
“Help me,” he gasped.
“I’m afraid I can do nozing for you,” Medic grimly stated.
“Help me… please,” the soldier pleaded, “there were so many… we were overrun… HQ was lost… aerial bombardment on the city’s inbound… they’re going to destroy it… scorched Earth,” his breaths became more and more shallow. Engineer walked past the soldier before turning around to face the dying man. Pulling out his pistol he centered his sights on the soldier’s head.
“Sorry brother.” A gunshot sounded in the air.
Roland found out just where those stairs went. Following them for a good five minutes the squad came up to a balcony overlooking a large cavern. His thoughts were drowned out by the noise of thousands of ponies in this cavern milling amongst themselves; though there was no sounds of panic, the tension in the air was apparent.
“Halt!” A couple of royal guards were standing in front of Pandora team with a few more appearing on their flanks.
“Woah, wait, we’re Pandora team of Charlie Division. What is this place?” Mordecai asked with his hands up, staring down a long spear wielded by a unicorn guard.
The guards put their weapons down. While the general populace was in the dark about all the recent events in Equestria, Celestia and Luna’s guards were brought up to date on the situation. A dark maned, dark coated Pegasus stepped forward.
“I’m Commander Shield, I’m in charge here,” he said, “and you are in a shelter contained inside the Manehattan subterranean train system. Our orders are to remain here until these Combine have passed over the city.”
“Huh, I wondered why the city was so empty. But stay here? You can’t stay here! We found this place easy; it’s only a matter of time until the Combine find it too. You have no idea of the shitstorm that is going on above you!” Lilith exclaimed.
“I’ll ask you to please watch your language. And if need be we can escape through the tunnels where they meet with the old mine shafts. They’ll lead us straight to Canterlot.”
“Canterlot. You mean the same Canterlot where the other half of the Combine army went? That Canterlot? How is that a good plan?” Roland asked.
“Well… I…”
“It would be best if you just followed those mine shafts somewhere else,” Lilith suggested.
“Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps we sho- What was that?!”
Small rocks and dust rained down on the cavern and Brick ran back up the steps that Pandora team came down to see what was the matter. A minute later he came back down with a small look of dread on his face.
“They’ve made their way into the subway tunnels. It’ll only be a matter of time before they find us.”
“Celestia damn it! What are we supposed to do?!” Shield started panicking. Obviously he’d never been in this sort of situation before.
“You’re going to evacuate everyone further down the tunnels. We’re going to try and hold them off. Brick will seal the tunnel behind you,” Roland explained.
“Then how will you get out?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when it gets here.”
“If you’re sure. Luna-speed you four.” Then he turned around and started shouting to the guards to move the civilians out. The tunnel was fairly large so the few thousand ponies were funneling into it fairly easily.
“Okay, we have a couple of minutes,” Roland started, “I want to be ready when they get here. They’ll be coming down those stairs so they’ll be somewhat bottlenecked. Everyone dig in. Brick, when the last pony gets through, shoot rockets at the tunnel entrance until it collapses.”
Brick grunted it acknowledgement and the four scattered to take defensive positions. Ten minutes later the last pony got through the tunnel and a few seconds later Brick fired several rockets at various points on the rock tunnel’s entrance. Chunks of rock flew everywhere and soon enough the entire tunnel entrance started giving way.
“Now that that’s taken care of…” Roland aimed down the sights of his assault rifle and waited with for the Combine to appear on the stairs so he could teach them a new religion.
“Roland,” Mordecai broke the silence, “how are we going to get out of here?”
“How much money do you have in your wallet?”
“You really think that will work? Even across universes? Even if it does we’ll never be able to come back. And I kind of like it here.”
“The prices we pay and the risks we take, my friend. Get ready, here they come!”
“So what do we do now? Obviously there’s no one here and there’s no way we’ll be able to make it back out of the city.”
“That’s fine, we’ll figure something out. What I’m more worried about is what that soldier said. ‘Scorched Earth’? Is that what I think it means Soldier?”
“I’m afraid so. I never thought I’d live to see the day where that happened. And I never thought the Americans of all people would be the ones to do it,” Soldier said solemnly.
“Perhaps zers a vay ve can kommunikate vith zem. You know, tell zem ve’re still alive,” Medic suggested.
“No, even if there was, they’re already committed. Ain’t nothing stopping them now.”
“Well then,” Demo said, “we should at least try to make for Canterlot.”
“No! Aren’t you listening?! Lemme spell it out for you. They. Are. Going. To. Nuke. Manehattan! Unless you have a helicopter hidden in your pants, because I know you don’t have a dick to take up space, we’re not getting out of here alive!”
“Why you numpty nyaff! Your wheel’s turnin’ but it looks like the hamster’s died!”
“Only you know what that means! You scum sucking, ass licking, fuc-“
“HEY!”
Everyone turned to Heavy who was currently staring out the window- or hole in the wall where the window should’ve been. They walked up to see what he was looking at and were astonished to see a gunship hovering outside the wall formerly known as window. Out of it climbed a heavily armor clad soldier in yellow-red armor with massive shoulder plates and a green visor. Jumping the gap between the ship and building they landed with grace right in front of the group. As they reached up to grab their helmet off their head Sniper spoke up.
“Thank God you’re here sir. You think we could hitch a ride on your ship? It’s sort of urgent. Although, come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing you on the Normandy…” he trailed off when the soldier took off their helmet to reveal long flowing blond hair.
She smiled. “That’s because I wasn’t on the Normandy. The Doctor picked me up just now. So sorry I’m late. Name’s Samus. Samus Aran. What’s this about needing a ride?”
“Well you see Miss Aran,” Engineer spoke up. This city here is about ta be nuked and we’d much appreciate a ride.”
“Seriously? Nuked? Alright, I can just fit you all in so we can make our way back to Canterlot.”
“Zat’s good because I need a drin-“ Medic was cut short by a blast to his chest by an unseen assailant. He collapsed to the ground with a hole where his heart once was.
“Doctor!” Heavy cried before his head was blown off by another shot.
“Sniper! Everybody get the fuck do-“Sniper too dropped as his arm fell beside him, unattached to the rest of his body.
“Quick, on my ship.” They all clambered into the gunship as it flew away from its unseen murderer.
On the way back to Canterlot Soldier started making notches in his shovel.
“What are those for?” Engineer asked quietly.
“Notches, one for each of our fallen comrades.”
The rest of the ride back was quiet, the sound of the engine being the only noise.
“I guess they’ve let us hung out to dry huh?” Lilith asked, slipping out of her phase walk for the umpteenth time, stabbing a Combine soldier in the back.
“I guess so,” Roland shouted over the sound of Brick bashing in the head of another hunter.
“Guys, we’ve been at this for hours, I don’t know how much longer I can do this- ahh!” Mordecai took one too many bullets and hit the ground, furiously firing his revolver trying to get a second wind.
“Hold on I’m coming!” Lilith shouted before taking several barbs to the back. All she could do was watch Mordecai’s lights fade as hers too did.
“I’ll see you two on the other side,” Roland said before taking an energy ball to the chest, disintegrating on the spot.
Suddenly Brick found himself surrounded; he wanted to take out as many of these bastards as he could, but he had no idea how to… rocks. Rocks. He smiled and with a final roar he fired all his rockets into the cavern ceiling. His last image was that of a group of hunters being crushed by a massive boulder before one too crushed him.
Roland took a massive gasp of air. He really hated these respawn thingies. Especially since his wallet felt significantly lighter every time he used one. But it was better than the alternative.
“Well, Roland,” Lilith said, groaning as she got off the ground, “I guess that answers that question. I worry though, will the Combine find those poor ponies?”
“Don’t worry, Brick buried them.”
They stared at him for a while before the got it and then shared a laugh.
“C’mon, let’s go get a drink guys. I kind of missed Pandora.”
“Really?” Mordecai asked incredulously.
“No.”
They shared another laugh.
Yay, new chapter. Boo, short chapter, like the rest of the story. What can I say? I not really good at writing a lot because it all feels like fluff to me. Ah well, onwards!
“So Delta.”
“Mph.”
“Ya ever find that girl you were looking for? Ya know, the one that got away?”
“Mph mph.”
“You don’t talk much, do ya?”
“Mph.”
“Right. Chief, you talk, right?”
“Yes, though I prefer to not talk right now. We’re here in Ponyville looking for Combine scouts. We’re not supposed to be talking.”
“You’re no fun.”
They were sitting underneath an apple tree; only one of the hundreds on this hill. But they were scouting out the little hamlet that sat beneath them. Delta just sort of stood there, looking really foreboding, while Chief was prone looking through the scope of a sniper rifle. Isabella, on the other hand, was just sitting crunching on an apple, enjoying something that wasn’t a 200 year old Salisbury steak, or news. Though she did like Three-Dog’s reports on her escapades. Regardless, she wasn’t the sneaky type and this waiting around was killing her. Field command had told the Misfits that they were engaging the enemy a couple dozen miles outside of town at full force. Of course that was three hours ago, and they haven’t heard from them since. Just before that they got a radio from Shepard back at main HQ, saying that although the Combine war machine’s reinforcements were cut off, thirty of those behemoth ships were still on their way to Canterlot, Manehattan, and everything in between. Of course sixteen were moving towards Canterlot, with eight towards Manehattan, but that still left six for them. Isabella wasn’t worried though; they’d be fine. She was used to hearing someone say they’ll be “right there”, and then never hearing from them again. Such was the laws of the wastes, but she kind of hoped that these US soldiers would at least have survived a little bit longer. Her thoughts were disrupted though when Chief broke the silence.
“Got two large bipedal creatures flanked by several regular soldiers at the bottom of the hill. Looks like they punched through the US lines.”
“Let me handle this one… Delta?”
“Mph.” Delta proceeded to pull out a rocket launcher and fire a handful of grenades right in the path of the Combine. Thirty seconds later it was raining Combine chunks.
“Well,” Isabella stood up at this victory, “that wasn’t so ba-“
“There they are, get them!” A deep voice from behind them somewhere made them turn around before bullets from energy rifles made them turn back around and run down the hill into a barn.
“I count thirty soldiers in the trees in front of us,” Chief said, looking out one of the windows of the barn at the advancing Combine. “Anyone got any ideas?”
“There is this recipe I’ve been wanted to try out,” Isabella said, pulling out a weird looking contraption and putting several green bombs on it. “Ingredients: thirty or so soldiers, preferably enemy (they make the recipe sweeter), eight miniature nuclear bombs, and one Experimental Nuclear Multiple Reentry Vehicle Catapult.” She ran outside jumping into a cellar entrance conveniently placed right outside the barn so that only her upper body was exposed to the Combine soldiers. Hefting this catapult on her shoulder she continued, “Step one: put all your soldiers into one general area using deterrents. Proximity mines are suggested, but grenades work too.” She reached into a pack and pulled out a few mines. Using precision Frisbee throwing, she was able to create a fence around the Combine, forcing them together into a small group. One of the soldiers stepped on it and was instantly blown sky high. “It’s okay if some of your soldiers have a few premature detonations. Step two, mix in your nukes; the sooner you can get them all in, the better. Step two point five, don’t look directly at the explosion.” She fired the weapon and crouched lower to the ground. A ground shaking explosion took place and when she looked back where the soldiers and apple trees were, all that was there was a massive crater. “Step three, recipe complete,” she looked up and caught an apple that had been thrown into the sky and took a bite, “serve with apples.”
Meanwhile a Combine sniper that was about to shoot her died from a stroke from the sheer awesomeness of what he had just witnessed; although the bullet fired into his head from Chief’s rifle didn’t hurt either.
“Come on,” Chief said to the Lone Wanderer, “Let’s get into town so we can get ourselves a tactical advantage. We’re too out in the open here.”
They were sitting in a tree house. Literally. A tree. House. Isabella thought she had seen it all, but this definitely took the cake. Regardless, this house had lots of shelves, so they were able to create decent barricades, and there was even an overlook that let them snipe with comfort. Isabella took out her favorite weapon- the Xualong Chinese Assault Rifle- and aimed it out the window at the direction from which they had come. Mines from Isabella and Delta created a perimeter six yards thick around the house.
Chief, being the sniper, was the first to start firing his gun, but soon vicious fire was being exchanged on both sides. It’s okay though, because Isabella had a lot of guns, and she used the ammo press at the Pitt a lot so she had a lot of ammo. She could not speak for the other two but they seemed to be doing fine. It wasn’t long however, before her arm started getting sore from all the recoil of the guns. Within fifteen minutes a series of obnoxious whirrings started filling the air.
“What is that?” Isabella’s question was soon answered when a shattering of glass was heard from the skylight and several flying machines with sharp blades made a bee line for her.
“What. The. Shit?! Get the fuck away from me!” She pulled out a golf club and started beating the machines out of the air with it. They were fragile fuckers though, she thought. As one hit the ground, it exploded, sending her reeling back. More came in from somewhere else and were harassing the others too. Delta just roared and shot them. With fire. From his hand .
Holy hell, I want me a flame throwing hand. Oh hell, now it’s electricity. I totally want one now. Isabella was practically green with envy but soon she found herself distracted by these machines that she prayed the Enclave never got their hands on. Because it would make them that much more annoying to kill. It was at this point that all those machines, in combination with the ever advancing soldiers (they didn’t seem to mind seeing their comrades getting killed by the mines) rendered this fortification moot. So the three Misfits jumped outside and bolted across the street to the next piece of cover. It was rather amusing actually to Isabella because Chief for his credit just kept his cool and shot anything that so much as looked at him. Though to be fair, they were trying to kill him just as much as he was succeeding at killing them. There was one point where they were almost across the street when he got tired and decided to just beat them to death with a hammer the size of a small Super Mutant. Isabella really wanted one of those too. Delta too got tired of massacring Combine from afar and decided to change tactics and drill them, literally. He took a giant drill and played dentist on their everywhere. Isabella just decided to sit back and watch the carnage. That is until a loud roar and a thump on the ground behind her made 101 turn around and look up at a massive Daddy Long Leg like creature. Several more landed behind that one and several more still landed in a perimeter around the battle. Chief and Delta looked at Isabella to see her pulling out a little blaster pistol thing.
“Now’s not the time for sidearms!” Chief exclaimed.
“Now’s the perfect time for sidearms,” Isabella said right back. She aimed down her target and fired, a rather humorous pew sound coming from the gun. The Strider she was aiming at got hit by a small beam of energy before instantly being disintegrated and blown away on the wind. She fired another, and another, felling Strider after Strider in the blink of an eye. But before she could move onto another one, a charging sound could be heard from a few of the Striders. The Misfits had only a moment to react, as they dived into the nearest house, the ground they were standing on just moments before being devastated by numerous pulse blasts.
Isabella was about to fire at more Striders from her cover but Chief pulled her further away from the enemies, who were temporarily confused about whether or not the denizens had been eliminated.
“What the hell was that about Chief? I had a good lock on one of them,” Isabella started, “And then you just pull me away like that? What were you thinkin- Why are you looking at the sky?”
She followed Chief’s line of sight until she saw it: six massive Combine super-carriers levitating right over Ponyville. Out of them hundreds of little transports flew to the ground, unloading too many soldiers to count.
“Okay, yeah. I don’t have a gun for that,” she commented, “It’s someone else’s turn for ideas.”
Meanwhile Delta was watching more of those transports unloading before moving back into the carriers. He noticed that they seemed timed, and not manually operated. Perhaps…
“Hey Delta, where’re you going?” Isabella looked after Delta as he ran towards a transport that had just touched down, shooting Combine as they got off. Chief looked at Isabella then back at Delta.
“Like Scarabs…” he muttered, and then ran after Delta.
“What the hell are you doing? You want to get us noticed? Why…” Realization hit her as she realized what the other two were thinking.
“Oh, this won’t end well.” She ran after the two who were standing on the now empty transport looking at her. She jumped on right before it levitated off the ground and ascended back into one of the carriers above.
Tony Stark or, if you prefer, Iron Man was flying high. Not like that. Not since that incident with the American Navy and a cabbage stand…
Regardless, Stark was scouting out the area around the Super Portal Ugly Death Zone, or SPUDZ as he liked to call it. Well, it wasn’t what he was originally doing, but he’d rather do this than… well that other thing.
Earlier…
“Cause I shoot to thrill an’ I’m ready to kill… God I love this song. Hello, what is that?”
Stark was flying over a range of mountains when he flew over a particularly large mountain and faced a desert. That wasn’t the weird part though; no the weird part was that a rather large field that seemed to just stand like a purple bubble on a piece of sandpaper. Oh wait there’s a town down there.
Stark followed the snaking rail line to the bubble but when he tried to go through the field he encountered a problem. Namely, he couldn’t.
“Hey what’s this? A force field? What the hell not even I can do this. And I’m awesome .”
So he touched down on the ground next to the rails and tried pushing on the force bubble. It didn’t work. However that action did seem to get the attention of a white unicorn with a blue mane, completely decked out in shining armor. Overcompensating for something bud- oh wait. Stark thought against saying that. Instead he waited for the pony to run over to him.
“Who are you and what do you want?” the unicorn asked.
“I’m lost, you see I was trying to go to Cancun but I can’t seem to figure out how to get there. Dammit I knew I should’ve taken a left turn at Albuquerque.”
“You think this is funny?” The unicorn obviously didn’t.
“A little, yeah. Look Mac, I’m with the little party that is trying to save your world. I came for the fun, stayed for the fact that I can’t go home on my own will.”
“Oh really? You’re part of the resistance? How do I know you’re not just one of those Combine things?”
“Antoinette huh? Yeah you’re not on the list the princess’ guard gave me but then again it did have a passphrase just in case she missed a name. What is it?”
“Open sesame. No wait, 42. Oh I know: the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. Or was it- hey, where are you going?”
The pony was walking away, obviously fed up with these shenanigans.
“Fine fine. You’re no fun. It’s allons-y.”
The stallion turned around. He was not amused.
“So now you remember it.”
“Nah I knew it the whole time. I was just messing with you.”
“Really? I had no idea.” So he does have a sense of humor Stark thought. The stallion continued, “Fine, you can come in. But I’m watching you. Besides, if the best thing these Combine have is you,” the stallion gave him a once over, “I’m sure we’ll be just fine.”
Ouch .
And just like… magic (Stark was not going to get used to that. As far as he was concerned, this was the result of a nuclear test too close to a stable) a gap in the portal appeared and he stepped through.
“Follow me.” The unicorn then did a 180 and started walking towards where Stark could only assume was the town.
They walked in silence for a while before the unicorn spoke again.
“My name is Shining Armor,” Shining said curtly.
Jesus is everyone’s name here a pun or a job description? Talk about no choices for life. But he just nodded, not that Shining could see as Stark was walking beside him. More silence but it wasn’t long before they eventually did come upon a town. Town being a very loose term.
“Welcome to Appleoosa, Mr. Stark,” Shining Armor said. Somewhere behind him a horse whinnied.
“Oookaayy…”
“What?” Shining asked impatiently.
“Oh nothing, it’s just, well, first I’m in the Renaissance, and now I’m in the Old West.”
“Okay, let me know when you want to be serious Marie and we can get to work.”
“Yeah, my name isn’t Marie, it’s Stark. Tony Stark. I guess the joke was lost on you on account of the whole ‘not human’ thing.”
If you listened close, you could hear Shining beating Stark to a pulp in his mind.
“Okay,” Shining took a deep breath, “that name was on my list. I’m going to pretend that you weren’t just wasting five minutes of my life and just continue on with my duties.”
“Maybe I can help?” Stark offered.
“So now you want to help? Fine, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth-“
“Wait, you use that expression? Wouldn’t that be like slavery?”
Shining ignored him, “-and I’ll assume that suit isn’t for show. What can you do?”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Is that bravery, or arrogance? Because bravery I can use, arrogance will get you killed.”
“What’s the problem?”
“Well as you can see, this shield is keeping out anything we don’t want in. However, my wife, Cadence, has been projecting this spell for many hours now and it’s wearing her down. The whole point of the shield is to keep out what looks to be an enemy camp not ten miles from here. As of yet, they haven’t attacked in full force; just a couple of scouting parties, so I have no idea what they’re objective is.”
“Point me in the direction.”
Shining was taken aback.
“So it’s arrogance then, because every time I went to scout them out, I’ve almost been killed.”
Stark gestured to himself, “I have this,” he gestured to Shining’s armor, “You have that . ‘That’ being tin foil.”
“This armor was forged in the flames of Tartarus. It was blessed by the Oracle of Canterlot. It was-“
“-christened with orphan tears. I got it. It’s important. But guess what? It counts for exactly squat against the Combine weapons.”
“So I’ve noticed.” Shining was offended but understood Stark’s point. “They’re due north of here.”
“Cool. I’ll be back later, don’t wait up.” And with that Stark shot up into the air, only to come right back down. “Uh… a little help?”
Shining smirked, “What? Can’t the great Stark punch through a measly force field?”
“Ha ha ha. Very funny.”
Shining’s horn lit up and a small opening in the bubble appeared.
“Thanks.” Iron Man launched into the air and through the hole before it closed behind him.
“Celestia-speed Tony Stark,” muttered Shining before he walked towards the saloon to attend to his “duties”. There’s not much you can do when you’re outnumbered and your wife is taking care of the defense, so he’ll just have to kill time.
It wasn’t long (traveling at sub-sonic or even supersonic speeds does have its perks) before Stark came upon what looked to be a helicopter. However, seeing as it wasn’t US Army, he safely assumed it was Combine. But Stark, ever the diplomat, flew up to it with peaceful intentions and negotiated a peace treaty between the Combine and all they had wronged. He later used their Superportal technology to create an inter-universal empire that ushered in an era of peace and prosperity never before imagined by any living being capable of complex thought. And they lived happily ever after.
Just kidding, Stark totally blew that fucker out of the sky.
The incredible Iron Man, as intelligent as he is, realized the Combine encampment a quarter mile away probably wouldn’t have appreciated the impromptu laser light show, as it most likely violated at least 42 safety regulations. With that assumption clearly supported by the massive amount of helicopters flying toward him, (as they weren’t coming to congratulate him on that performance- it was a 6 at best) Stark did the only thing anyone with a clear tactical disadvantage would do in a desert: he flew straight into the maelstrom…
…And right back out. He wasn’t the invincible Iron Man, after all. Sure he could do some serious damage, but he’d more than likely get himself killed in the process. Stark didn’t actually want to fight them, due to the whole if you kill one two more will take its place because they have a lot of troops thing, he actually wanted to get to their camp and see if it had any intel worth knowing about. With that said, it didn’t seem likely that his intentions would be realized any time soon. He could try and get reinforcements of his own, but this area, being on the other side of a mountain range, was a “low priority target” and thus did not receive any troops of its own. He could fly to Canterlot, but that would take a long time, time that town of Applehoosa, or something, didn’t have.
While pondering this conundrum, Stark flew around in various shapes to try and avoid as much fire as possible. First he spelled out “Suck it”, then he wrote Einstein’s theory of relativity- wait. Einstein. Physics. Particle physics. Energy.
Stark had a very, very , wrong idea, but he didn’t have any other options. Pulling out a couple explosives he threw them at the choppers.
“Catch,” the explosives went off and gave him excellent cover to fly back to the force bubble field thingy.
Lucky for him Shining Armor had been watching the whole air show (he really had nothing to do) and opened a hole for Stark to fly through.
“What’s the matter Mr. Stark?” Shining asked, “Can’t you break through the mob?” It wasn’t a snarky jab, but a query of genuine worry, for if not even this technologically advanced machine-man could defend himself, what chance did the ponies have?
“No, at least not with conventional weaponry. Actually I came back because I need to ask you about this force field.” Stark was kind of quiet actually, as if something was the matter.
“What about it?”
“How strong can you possibly make it?”
“Pretty strong. Granted, the smaller the field, the stronger it can be made. And if I help Cadence, my wife, cast the spell it can be even stronger. Why do you ask?”
“I need you to make it as strong as humanly, or rather, pon…ily possible. As soon as possible.” Stark started walking away, needing to do one final thing.
“Might I ask why?” Shining was used to taking orders without answers, but this time the safety of those he cared about could be in jeopardy.
“The science would take too long to explain to you,” Stark stated matter-of-factly.
Shining just wryly chuckled, “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that. Fine, just promise me that nopony will get hurt.”
“If you do your job and I do mine, everything should be fine.”
“Do you think the field will be enough for what you plan to do?”
“It’s going to have to be.”
Shining didn’t like the sound of that, but what other choices did he have? Cadence was getting tired and Stark obviously wasn’t joking around.
“Okay,” muttered Shining.
Tony Stark blasted into the air and through another hole in the field. Up he flew, ever higher, before everything for miles was laid out for him to see. He was looking for the perfect spot. There. In a spot in the desert where there seemed to be nothing, that’s where his plans will unfold. He started flying that way, running complex equations in his mind. This was going to be close.
Meanwhile Shining gathered all the residents and refugees, including the Buffalo, into the newly built recreation center.
“It’s okay,” he said to them as they ran past him, “everything is going to be okay. Hey sweetie,” his voice softened as he saw Cadence shakily walking towards him, “how are you doing?”
“I’ve been better,” she sighed. “What are we doing here?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, “but we’re going to have to reinforce the shield as much as possible; that’s why we’re gathered here in one place.”
“Why?”
“Because a member of the resistance named Marie Antoinette told me to.”
Stark touched down on the ground and reached into one of his suit’s many compartments. There he pulled out a second arc reactor. You know, in case Stain comes back from the grave and steals his again. He then pulled out a couple of tools (be prepared) and started tinkering with it.
“First, disable the safety… Then the field dampeners… and finally, quintuple energy output and deactivate energy vents.”
Stark laid the reactor on the ground and buried it in a little sand.
“Now to fetch the guests.”
He flew towards the Combine encampment where a massive force looked just about to mobilize, probably to attack the town. Perfect .
Making as much noise as possible, Stark flew into the middle of the camp and shouted over his built in PA system, “Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
That got their attention, as every Combine gun was now firing at him. Stark flew into the air, and to make sure they would keep following him, blew up a couple soldiers, maybe a car or five, and some choppers.
For the next twenty minutes he slowly led them on a chase into the desert, right over his arc reactor. Dear God this better work . As the rear of the force caught up with him, he put all power to his thrusters and rocketed straight up into the air. A timer sounded in his suit, and then all went quiet.
It was at this time that the arc reactor, which had been exponentially been building up energy with no way for that energy to be vented or used, broke free of its containment and spitted energy in all directions. A blue ball of energy, not fire, but plasma, expanded, like a great maw consumed everything in its path and left nothing untouched. The orb kept expanding, expanding, one mile, two, three. Sand turned to glass, melted, became ionized, and vanished into nothing in the blink of an eye. The Combine stood no chance; they didn’t even have time to scream. One of the ultimate forces of the universe, with all its unforgiving strength, ripped through them. Stark was miles in the air, far enough away to be safe from harm. He watched as stragglers of that once great Combine army raced away in a futile attempt to save themselves. The ball of life and death grew ever larger still, before it consumed the Combine camp and the little town of Appleloosa. Stark only prayed that Shining Armor was able to make a field strong enough.
“AHH!” Cadence cried out in agony as the ball of plasma rushed over the bubble, drowning them in an ocean of pure energy. Yet, she realized, if she were to falter even a little, it would all be over. A hoof rested on her shoulder: it was Shining, his horn glowing as bright as the energy that threatened to consume them. She could tell he was experiencing just as much pain, but he still managed to smile at her, reminding her they were in this together. She dug deep, deeper than ever before, and found the strength to keep going. The little fillies and colts actually “oohed” and “ahh’d” at the light show. Cadence had to admit, it was breath-takingly beautiful. The hues of blue blended together to create a picture as vibrant as the sky on Celestia’s warmest days, and yet as cold as Luna’s darkest nights.
And seemingly just as quick as it had come, the energy was gone, and the blue ocean was replaced with a blue sky.
Cadence groaned and collapsed, pure exhaustion putting her out cold. The field disappeared, but Shining had a feeling the worst was over.
Stark surveyed the surroundings. The only evidence anything had happened was the massive crater right next to Ground Zero. That is why he won’t sell the arc reactor technology. Stark dreaded to look, but he needed to know. He looked in the direction of the town and saw the area that was inside the field was still standing. He couldn’t say that for the rest of the town though. Stark sighed and flew over to what was known as Appleloosa.
“Stark, you did it.” Shining was panting, but Stark could tell he was happy. “You saved us all.”
“All? You mean no one…”
“Nope. The field held up wonderfully. Your plan worked. At least, I think it did.”
“It did,” Stark confirmed, “the Combine camp will trouble you no longer. This area should be safe from any more soldiers for a little while.”
“Well Mr. Stark, on behalf of the whole town, I thank you.” Shining straightened up and saluted Stark before collapsing to the ground.
“I guess I’m a little tired,” he admitted, “I haven’t slept in a while.”
“Well rest up,” ordered Stark, “we’re not out of the woods yet.”
“Right you are; I was actually going to go back to Canterlot now that this is over.”
“If I were you, I would stay here. These people are going to need a leader while they attempt to rebuild. They’re going to need you.”
“Perhaps you’re right,” Shining stood up, “I’m Captain of the Guard. I’m going to do my job and lead these ponies and their rebuilding efforts.” He took a step and fell over, too tired to go on. “Right after I take my nap.”
Tony Stark chuckled, “Rest easy now, we have a long ways to go. I’ll catch ya on the flipside, Jack.”
And with that, Stark once again flew into the air, en route to the SPUDZ to see if they could use help. When he got there however, it looked like the battle was over and lost. Stark knew that if the battle here was lost, all of Equestria could soon follow. Just then an energy pulse from the Super Portal threw him backwards tumbling in the air. When he righted himself, he saw two small objects falling from the sky. Wait, those are people. Stark blasted forward, trying to catch them before they met the ground. Almost there… got ‘em. The two he had caught were those two COGs, Marcus and Dom. However, it seemed two Combine choppers saw this and were making their way towards them. So Stark flew away from the battlefield in the first direction he could thing of: forward. Faster he went, but not too fast to kill his passengers. Eventually, he landed in what looked to be an old castle, in a state of complete disrepair. Stark took a deep breath and looked at the two veteran soldiers.
“Thanks for saving our asses,” Marcus said.
“Anytime,” Stark replied.
They stood there in awkward silence as only men can do before Dom spoke up,
“I guess we should rest here for a little while; get our strength up and all that before heading back.”
“Are we far enough away?” asked Marcus.
They looked in the direction they had come from and noticed the portal was but a mere sliver of light far away.
“Guess that answers that.” Stark laid down to take a well-deserved nap when a voice echoed from the darkness.
“Who dares invade my territory?”
“Why do I even bother?”
“Oh come now sister; do you really think he’ll just leave? This is, for lack of a better word, his home too. He’ll not give it up to anyone.”
“You’re trying to make sense of a nonsensical being.”
“I do it to you all the time.”
“Is this really the time for jokes?”
“He’d think so; though I suppose you really don’t care what he thinks.”
“Discord’s opinion is not something to put value on.”
“I’m sorry, who is this ‘Discord’ again?”
Celestia and Luna were bickering back and forth, completely oblivious to the N7 soldier trailing behind them. Shepard desperately wanted to get back to the castle; there she could plan in safety. Out here, in the botanical gardens of the castle, once a muse to the great poets and quiet respite from the mechanical routine of diarchship, now a desolate wasteland where the only life can be found six feet under the earth, and the only solitude derived is that of death, Shepard felt naked, exposed. Fountains that may have one sunny day ago stood as beacons of beauty were now crushed into grotesque figures of a bygone time of innocence under the oppressive weight of a Strider corpse; the first of many to be sure, but Shepard wonders if these ponies have yet to see the harshest of the realities that war brings.
“You’ll see in a minute Commander,” Luna said casting a glance over her shoulder but never breaking her pace.
“How do we know he’s not broken?” pondered Celestia.
“The landscapers had him put in storage on the far side of the gardens. They said something about him clashing with the lilacs. And he was creepy. Far be it from me to tell them how to do their job,” Luna said in a somewhat distracted voice. Obviously her thoughts were somewhere else.
“Here we are,” she said. Shepard expected the storage to be as extravagant as the gardens themselves, but all that stood before her was a small shed, no bigger than her quarters on the Normandy. Opening the doors Luna started to levitate out a statue, but it was too tall and she banged its head on the door frame. So she turned it on its side and continued pulling it out and placing it on some level ground.
“I don’t get it,” Shepard said, “are we going to beat our enemies over the head with this statue? It doesn’t seem like a good plan.”
Luna ignored the query and turned to her sister. She looked at Celestia and without a word exchanged, Celestia rolled her eyes and looked at the statue.
“Fine, let’s get this over with. I suppose desperate times…”
Both sisters’ horn glowed as an aura enveloped the statue. At once it started to move, changing color and position until-
“Oh it’s so wonderful to be back!” Discord exclaimed, “And here I thought you all had forgotten about me. Wow, you really let this place go. Though I suppose it does kind of have a neo-apocalyptic feel to it. I approve.”
“Discord, we…” Celestia steeled herself, “…your help.”
“Come again?” Discord summoned a megaphone and held it up to Celestia’s mouth.
She sighed and pushed it out of the way. “Equestria is under attack. The beings that threaten us are unlike anything we have ever seen before. If we’re to win, then any and all help is going to be a necessity.”
“You know what?” he said, “I already knew all of that (just because I’m a statue doesn’t mean I’m not aware of the things that go on around me) but I just wanted to hear it straight from the… horse’s… mouth!” He couldn’t contain his laughter anymore and burst out in a fit of giggles.
Luna turned to her sister, “I told you so.”
“Oh very well,” he conceded, “I’ll help. But only because causing chaos in a wasteland is nowhere near as fun as causing it in a stable, thriving world. Trust me on that.”
“Commander, this is Discord.” Luna stepped out of the way, creating a path between him and the commander.
“Well he’s no super Krogan, but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers.”
“I’m so glad you approve,” Discord deadpanned. His disposition lit up again, “So, shall we be off to wherever it is we’re going?”
They started their walk back to the castle, hoping Discord was going to help prevent the end of Equestria, rather than be the cause of its demise.
Author's Note
Though things aren't exactly copacetic on my end, I decided I owed it to you guys to finish this story at least. I'll try to be on top of it, but don't hold your breath (seriously, I can't handle any more lawsuits). Anyway, short chapter, since it didn't really fit in anywhere else.
Tony Stark stood back up.
“Jesus,” he exclaimed, “Can’t I get one minute to myself?”
“Heads up Dom!” Marcus and Dom whipped out their Lancers, prepared to feed lead to whatever thought it could ambush a couple of certified B.A.s. “Show yourself or we’ll unleash hell!”
A green pair of eyes appeared from the darkness surrounding the voice, followed by another, and another, and…
“Okay,” Stark said, “Dom, you take… those hundred, Mark-“
“-It’s Marcus.”
“You take those hundred, and I’ll take the remaining thousand. Good plan? Great plan. Let’s go!”
“Wait!” The voice stepped forward to reveal a tall, lanky pony-like creature. It had a black carapace like the hearts of villains. Her insect wings and hair were curiosities as well, but what really did it in for the three was how bent her horn was, and how… bizarre its legs looked.
“Looked like someone didn’t heed the Golden Rule,” muttered Marcus.
“What are you?” the creature asked.
“We could ask the same of you,” said Dom.
The creature chuckled. “Me? I am the Queen of the Changelings. I am Chrysalis!” she flew up into the air for emphasis.
“Yeah, that’s nice. I’m king of the Downtown Los Angeles Bar,” Stark said.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. I’ve got my picture up on the wall and everything.”
“Enough! Why have you come here?”
“We represent the lollipop g-“Stark started.
“-We are here, taking a rest from the massive war over in Equestria,” explained Marcus.
“War? In Equestria? Did Discord get free again?” an amused Chrysalis asked.
“Nah, this big freakin’ army. And it’s threatening to completely destroy this entire planet. So far, I would say they’re doing a pretty solid job of it.”
“Wait, what?” Chrysalis wasn’t smiling anymore. She walked up to Marcus. “What do you mean ‘completely destroy the planet’?”
“He means exactly that,” butted in Dom. “This army has superior technology, numbers, weapons, a complete disregard for life, you name it.”
“Except for style. We have them beat.”
Chrysalis cocked her eyebrow at Stark.
“And what, pray tell, is your part in this?” she asked the three.
“We were promised there was going to be a free buffet.”
Dom whirled around and looked at Stark. “For the love of- Can you be serious for just one minute?”
“Uh… no. No I don’t think I can. As a matter of fact I-“ Stark was cut off when an earth-shattering quake reverberated in every corner of the castle. The sunglasses Stark kept on him shattered into a thousand pieces, while every Changeling doubled over in pain, clutching their ears.
“What are you doing to us!?” Chrysalis moaned in agony.
“Me? I’m not doing anything!” Stark shouted.
“Holy shit. Guys, you’re not gonna believe this.”
“What is it Dom?” Marcus walked over to the window his friend was looking out of. While normally the Superportal could be seen, albeit just barely, this time it was completely unnoticeable as a massive black and grey plume bellowed from the ground. Although it too was far away, one would swear they were right next to it.
“Holy mother of God,” said Stark as he looked at the mushroom cloud before him.
“That couldn’t have been us, could it?”
“I think it was,” confirmed Stark. “Why would they do something like that? We need to get back now.”
“I agree.”
“Me too.”
“What is that thing?” The three soldiers turned around to see Chrysalis standing behind them, looking at the harbinger of death before them.
“That… is the sign that things are truly worse than we thought, which is saying something,” Stark said morbidly. “That was an explosive device, and a big one at that. Who knows where that one was detonated?”
“I believe the city in that direction is Manehattan,” Chrysalis told him. “It’s a fairly big city.”
“Not anymore,” said Dom.
“Is that the work of your enemy you’re fighting?” Chrysalis was evil, but she was not a killer. This sickened her.
“No, that is us. That means that so many of our enemies were there that they decided to take all of them at once, regardless of anyone else that may have been in the vicinity, be it civilian or ally.” Stark kept staring up at the cloud. It just hung there, like cotton balls. From their distance the whole thing looked very still and calm. In reality, the winds inside the cloud were still probably high enough to rip just about anything apart.
“As much as I hate to say this… do you need help?” Chrysalis offered.
“Why would you hate saying that?” asked Dom.
“We… may have attempted to conquer and enslave all of Equestria to suit our devious needs,” Chrysalis sheepishly admitted.
“Is that all? Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask the princesses if they would accept your offer,” reasoned Marcus.
“Then perhaps it would be best to leave as soon as possible. When can you be ready to ship off?” Stark turned back to Chrysalis.
“Immediately.”
Author's Note
New strategy. I, for whatever reason, generally write short. Why? Who knows. What I do know is that I've been putting off finishing this story for forever. So, new strategy. Most of the time, all chapters are going to be short. There are going to be a lot of them, but all are going to be (probably) less than 1500 words. The way I see it though: A story's quality should not be gauged based on how many words one can spit out at any given time. However, if enough people do not like the short chapter concept, I will change back. The length of the entire story is going to be about the same, I'm just going to have less words per chapter. Anyway, I will update much more often now as well.
