Arc 1; Die, Die, We All Pass Away: Chapter 4, Canterlot Blues 2/2

        The rest of the time spent was mainly pointless banter between us. And the guard, for whatever reason, was named Flare Dancer and he was a woman. Tomboy to be precise, or as I was repeatedly told tom-colt. Yea, apparently the armor is designed to disguise the wearer as a copy of everyone else. Sort of an intimidation factor, makes sense I guess.

        I was tapped on the shoulder by Flare. “The princess asked you a question.”

        I looked at her. “Yes? I’m sorry I spaced out for a second.”

        She chuckled lightly. “I could tell, anyways it’s getting late and I have to lower the sun and make way for Luna's moon. So before I send you on your way can I do anything real quick?”

        I nodded and pointed towards the bags of gold. “Could you give me some room for this.”

         “Why don’t you put it in a bank?” She tilted her head.

        “I don’t trust banks.” That is true, last bank I used got robbed two years ago. Apparently a kid was killed while it was robbed, made front page news.

        “Well then... I can do something, hold still.” She lowered her head as a glow encompassed her horn. A bright flash later, and she raised her head and looked at me. “There, I put a charm on your pockets. They should be able to hold all of your gold.”

I raised an eyebrow and I put my hand in my pocket. Pushing down hoping to find the bottom, however I reached all the way to my shoulder and found the bottom barely touching my longest finger.

        I pulled out my arm and poured the gold in. “I would normally complain about this, but I’m too happy to care at the moment.”

        After managing to store the huge amounts of gold I had turned around and was ready to leave before Celestia stopped me. “Wait. Before you go I have one more thing I want to say.” Turning around and walking over she turned towards Flare. “I want you to travel with Michael and make sure he doesn’t do anything to harm other ponies.” She turned back towards me. “Just as a precaution I assure you.”

        I nodded. “I see no problems with it.”

        Celestia smiled. “Very well then, I wish you all safe travels.” Nodding Flare and I walked out of the room and into a beautifully decorated corridor.

        Flare turned to me. “Well, guess I have to watch over you until told otherwise.” She poked me in the leg. “Want to get a bite to eat before we head back to the hotel?”

        I nodded. “As long as we’re quick about it.”

        When we had arrived at the restaurant/cafe, the waiters were hesitant to serve me, until they learned I was harmless. Flare had ordered a hay burger and grass shake, and I ordered a salad without flowers and hay.

        When the food arrived I went to take a drink of water before Death, in his human form, appeared right next to me. “I wouldn’t drink that.” I managed to avoid tossing my glass across the cafe and set it down.

        Glaring at him, I was brought out of my anger when Flare spoke up. “Michael who is that!?”

        I turned to her. “My boss.”

        He looked between us and chuckled. “Oh my, I didn’t know I was interrupting a date~”

        I started to glow red as Flare choked on her burger, we both and glared at him. “It’s not like that!” We both yelled at the same time.

        He was laughing out loud now. “Oh it’s so fun to mess with mortals.” He cleared his throat. “Anyways, another wraith has entered the city, his name is James. I want you to meet him along with the other wraith tomorrow.”

        “And who is this other wraith?”

        “Her name is Sarah, I suggest you be careful.” With that he disappeared into thin air.

        Flare turned to me. “Is your boss always that weird?”

        I shrugged. “I don’t even know the half of it.”

        We had payed for our meal and had made our way back to the hotel. We wished each other a good night and I laid my head on the floor pillow. I wonder what will happen tomorrow?

I was awoken by the sound of running water. Looking around, I wasn’t able to spot Flare anywhere. As I stood up the water shut off and Flare walked out of a hidden bathroom, rubbing a towel in her mane. Without the armor on she had a dark yellow, nearly golden coat with a light red mane and matching tail. Her cutie mark depicted a wing with fire trailing behind it.

        She looked at me and smirked. “It’s rude to ogle a lady you know~”

        I choked on my spit and glared at her with a red glow. “Shut up, it’s too early for this shit.” I walked past her and made my way into the bathroom. After a quick shower, and getting redressed I stared at Flare. “I need some food.”

        She waved a hoof towards the door. “Then lets go get some from downstairs.”

        “I can’t, remember? I eat souls not plants.”

        She glared. “Well we can possibly grab you a couple animal ones later, right now I want food.”

        I lifted my arms in defeat as we made our way down stairs. She ran ahead and stopped in the doorway, and was staring at something. A female voice with an irish accent rang out from the cafeteria. “Oi, lass, stop staring at him or I’ll have him bite your head off.” Flare stepped forward and the voice spoke again. “Try anything different and I’ll bite your head off.”

        Flare glared into the cafeteria. “I happen to be a trained guard, remove the wolf from the building or I will use force.”

        There was a clopping of hooves before it stopped. Then another voice spoke up, this one sounded bored, and had a spanish sounding accent. “I saw her kill three wolves slightly smaller than that one with practiced ease, I saw her kill around twenty mafiosos even easier, one of which she ripped apart and ate gleefully. I am warning you, you don’t want to use force. You will die.” Jesus Christ in a handbasket, what the fuck!?

        Flare turned towards me and waved me over, “Want to help, or are you just going to stand there all day?”

        I stepped forward and looked at her. “What’s going on?” She gestured in front of her and I turned.

         When I looked over I was treated to one of the strangest sights I’ve ever seen. The ponies in the cafeteria were backed up against a wall staring at the occupants in the middle of the room, and this is the weird part.

Sitting there was a tall man with long graying hair with a beard and mustache, he was wearing a black top hat; black dress pants and shoes; a long black cloak, which had the sleeves lying limply on his sides; and he also had black gloves on with a cane sitting next to him.

        The next person was quite frankly adorable, but also really strange. She, from what I could tell, had orange hair and long pointed ears. She was also wearing a purple robe and hooded cloak.

        Next was a person who was wearing something straight out of a Rob Zombie concert, I couldn’t tell what gender they were, I think they were female, but they were eating a raw piece of meat. Sitting next to them was a grey mare with a dark grey mane and tail who seemed to be asleep.

        And on the floor was a giant wolf that reached my chest, and was currently eating a piece of meat. I was pretty damn sure I was wearing the biggest ‘what the fuck’ face in history. Oh wait I think thats the wraith I need to talk to.

        The person wearing the Rob Zombie outfit gave a giant grin revealing what appeared to be... jagged teeth covered in blood, the fuck? She spoke up with a wave. “Hello~”

        I blinked a couple times before waving back, “Um... Hi.”

        She lowered her head and cast a shadow over her eyes, causing them to glow blood red. And the fingers on her right hand suddenly became claws, “Nice to meet you...”

        I stared for a couple of minutes before throwing my hands into the air. “Why the fuck am I not surprised!”  I turned back towards Flare. “She’s the person I need to talk to, why don’t you go and grab something to eat.”

        Flare stared at me like I was insane, “But, what about the wolf!”

        I waved a hand. “Has it harmed anyone?” She shook her head, “Then it’s fine.”

        Flare suddenly jumped back as the voice piped up, from right behind me. “Would you two stop bickering?”

        I turned around and stared at the woman, “We weren’t bickering. I just got her to stop bugging you about the wolf.”

        The woman raised an eyebrow, “If I wanted that done, half of her would be smeared on the wall, and the rest would be in my stomach.” Ok that’s just nasty.

        I glared at her, “Very funny. Can we talk now or is everyone going to stare at us?”

        “Sure,” She said, “would you rather talk here or somewhere else, to avoid the stares?”

        “I haven’t gotten food yet, so maybe the park? I might be able to find a couple squirrel souls.”

        She stared flatly before chuckling darkly. “Heh, animal souls, really? Whatever, eat what you want I guess.” She started walking towards the doors as her guests got up to follow her. Without turning she spoke again, “Oh, and for the record, I wasn’t trying to be funny. I was serious.” I simply blinked, horrified at the thought. Looking over at Flare, she wore her disgust all over her face. After a second, I followed them out of the hotel with Flare following me.

        After we had left the hotel was greeted to a sight that made me throw up my arms in exasperation. Standing right outside the door was another human holding a small brown colt on his shoulder. The guy was looking at the girl with a fearful look, while the colt was smiling. I think this is James, and the girl is Sarah.

        The colt waved, “Hi”

        I waved back, “Hello there.”

        Sarah waved and smiled at the colt, oh Jesus she looks demonic. James’ eye twitched and the colt went wide eyed and smiled, “Cool...” No that isn’t cool, it’s demonic, unnatural and completely wrong.

        Sarah deactivated her claw, “Sorry, forgot about that... Nice to meet you, I guess.” The fuck? You act like a bitch to me and Flare but you treat this guy with kindness? Sarah held out her left hand and James shook her hand quickly.

        The rest of Sarahs companions walked out, when the wolf stopped next to Sarah a squee sound came from the trees behind James. Looking over I saw a blur for a split second before it vanished.

        James looked over then back at us, blinked, and turned to the colt. “Well that was odd.”

        I pointed back towards the trees, “What did you see?”

        James shrugged, “Just what you would expect in trees. Leaves, leaves, and more leaves.”

        I glared at the trees, “Then explain why I saw something about my height move.”

        He turned and stared at the tree. “I have no idea.”

        I turned to Sarah, but before I could do anything the small girl pulled her hair and screamed. “Gah, dammit, WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!?”

        The small colt climbed down from James’ shoulder and stopped in front of her. “My name’s Chocolate! What’s yer name?” Diabeetus...

        The girl spoke up, “Arlosia, nice to meet you. Now get the hell out of my face.” Wow harsh... Chocolate started to tear up and ran behind James’ legs. James glared at Arlosia as she looked at him, “What? What the hell do you want?”

        James’ glare intensified as he started tapping his foot on the ground. “Well for starters, I would like an apology to my friend here.”

        Arlosia leaned to the side and looked at Chocolate, “I’m sorry you can’t handle someone being slightly upset with you.”

        He let out a small growl and turned towards me. “So what’s you’re name?”

        I held out a hand, “The names Michael, a pleasure to meet you.”

        He took my hand and shook it firmly. “James.” He turned towards the tall guy, “And you?”

        The tall guy just stared and politely said, “James”

        The blond James just stood there staring, “... Well this is awkward... ”

        I nodded, “Yep, we got a problem within a couple minutes of meeting. How wonderful.”

        The tall James spoke up, “Well, you could call me Jav, that’s what everyone back home called me, most of the time anyway. There are a lot of James’ in the world, for whatever reason.” Oh thank god, I don’t have to confuse myself between them!

        I spoke up, “Ok then,” I pointed towards James, “You’re James” I then pointed towards Jav, “and you are Jav. Now what about the pony that’s with you?”

        The aforementioned grey pony looked at us tiredly, “I’m Ardiente Fragua, former member of the Polomino family mafia, friend of Sarah’s. I would say it’s a pleasure, but your friend threatened my friend, and I don’t like you so much because of that.” She then proceeded to climb on top of the giant wolfs back, curl up, and fall asleep.

        I blinked, “Okay...”

        Sarah then proceed to point at me and Flare, then laugh.

        James then knelt down and put Chocolate on his shoulder before turning to Flare. “And your name would be?”

        Flare blinked, “My name’s Flare Dancer, I chased you across town yesterday before Princess Luna saved you.”

        Sarah spoke up, “Jesus Christ that’s actually kinda funny, I think I’ll laugh now.” She then proceeded to fall to the ground and laugh, as James lit up like a light bulb... WHAT!?

         My eye twitched, “How in the name of all things logical are you doing...” I motioned to all of him, “THAT!?”

        He looked thoughtful, “Uhh, I guess wraiths glow when we blush...wait. Oh god that means I was like a beacon yesterday!” Chocolate nodded as James turned towards him, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

        Chocolate grinned, “Cause it was funny” I turned and looked over to Sarah who was still. Fucking. LAUGHING!

        She finally stopped and got up, “Ah God dammit, why was that funny? Whatever, Flare? You are no longer on the list of people I wish to kill, eat, then masturbate with the bones. Now it’s only kill.”

        Flare looked really disturbed as the nasty mental image entered my head and started playing on a loop.

        Chocolate looked up at James, “Mr. James, What’s Masturbating?” Oh good jesus, I think James turned into a goldfish.

        He spoke up, “I- uh, It’s... Uh... I’ll let your mom tell you.”

        Sarah smiled evilly, and James covered Chocolates ears. “S’where I stick a bone up my vagina.” WHY!?

        James looked at her, “Please don’t ruin his childhood. It would be the end of me.”

        Sarah shrugged, “You make it sound like I should care about you. Besides, what’s knowing a few bad words? Way worse can happen to a kid.” Alright time to help him out.

        I smiled looked at Chocolate, “Why don’t we go get some ice cream?”

        “ICE CREAM!!!!” Good god my ears! James was cleaning out his ear as Chocolate looked at me like I was a god. “Mr. James can we? Can we can we can we can we can w-”

        James decided to place his hand over his mouth. “Yes Choc, we’ll get some Ice cream... just... calm down first.”

        I chuckled at the kids enthusiasm. “You’ll have lead me there...” I turned to Flare. “Know any good ice cream spots?”

        We had arrived with no problems, well except for the fact no one wanted to pay. After spending 19 of my gold coins on treats we had sat down at a table outside. I was snacking on a mint chocolate chip waffle cone. Chocolate was eating a strawberry ice cream, James had a vanilla cone, Flare had chosen cinnamon, and Sarah was staring at her chocolate cone.

        Sarah spoke up, “This thing full of drugs or something? Don’t want a repeat of last time. That was a bad time, many dead bodies and chloroform.”

        I stared at her. “No... Why the fuck would you think that?”

        Sarah glared at me with insanity in her eyes, “A.N.G.E.L.” I coughed a little and began pounding on my chest. WHAT!? O-oh fuck...

        Allow me to explain. My father, Nathan Fritz, was formerly a scientist at A.N.G.E.L. He worked for the chemical sciences division before he left. No explanation or anything, just left. S-she was there!? W-why?

        I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard a loud thump, looking over, Sarah had fallen unconscious and Chocolate was looking over her. “Is she gonna be okay Mr. James?”

        James walked over and tried to pick her up, but failed. “I.... don’t know Choc... I don’t....know........ WOW she is heavy.”

        Jav pointed his hand at Sarah, “Suspension.” Suddenly she floated off the ground... NOPE! NOT HAPPENING!! I could feel my eye twitching and foam starting to come out of my mouth. Before I knew it I was laying on the ground twitching at the whole impossibility of this situation.

(Flare Dancer’s POV)

        I watched in amusement as Michael fell to the ground and everypony but James and Chocolate left. James sighed before grabbing Michael by the arm and started dragging him towards the hotel.

        I got up and grabbed Michael’s other arm, “Here, I’ll help.”

        James gave a nod. “Thanks.” He paused a second before turning towards me. “Ya know, you kinda remind me of my sister.”

        “Really? How so?”

        He chuckled. “She normally was the one helping me get home.” I stared at him.

        Chocolate climbed up James’ back and turned towards me. “Ms. Flare, Why are you following Mr. Michael around?”

        I chuckled. “Orders from Princess Celestia, I’m suppose to report to her about Michael.”

        The small colt made an ‘Oooooh’ noise before we continued along.