Arc 1; Die, Die, We All Pass Away: Chapter 3, Canterlot Blues 1/2

        I have no idea what happened to Rumble’s brother, whose name I later learned to be Thunderlane, after he was taken away by the nurses on a gurney. They had told me to stay in the lobby until he was stable. So that currently led to where I was now, waiting in a chair that seemed to be designed for midgets while having a bunch of ponies stare at me in fear. Also I learned that my eyes were now blood red, meaning that just by looking at someone I make them shiver in fear. Not the best design plan.

        After about five minutes I had grown tired of making ponies squeak in terror and instead opted to banging my head against the wall, until I was reminded by a nurse that I couldn’t do that. Why is it that no matter what world I end up in hospitals seem to suck the fun out of everything? Thankfully my savior came in the form of a mail-woman with a yellow mane and eyes that seemed to find both me and the ceiling interesting.

        She grinned at the sight of me. “Hey Mister I have mail for you!” Before I had anytime to react the mail-woman jumped onto my lap and handed me a letter via her mouth. That officially takes the cake for the most inventive way to deliver the mail. Before I could form any words she flew out of the hospital and into the sky.

        Looking at the letter the first thing I noticed was the wax seal on it. The design seemed to be two winged unicorns surrounding each other with a sun and moon in the center. Looking up I saw that every eye in the room was on me. Blinking I looked back at the letter and started to open it. Inside was a crisp white letter with fancy cursive on it. It read.

To the human known as Michael;

You have been royally invited by her royal highnesses Princess Celestia Faust, Raiser of the Sun and Princess Luna Faust, Raiser of the moon to attend a meeting in the capital city of Canterlot at three thirty PM in about one days time. Enclosed in this letter is a one-way train ticket and a pass to a room in one of the city's fine hotels.

Yours truly,

Secretary of the Royal Sisters; Gilded Scroll.

        Looking inside the letter was a small golden ticket and a paper card, both with my name on them. Well then, I guess I get to go to Canterlot. Tis a silly place.

I absentmindedly smacked a hoof away from my bags of gold. “No touching my gold.”

        After leaving a message and apology for Rumble, I had made my way towards the train station. Asking one of the conductors I learned that a train was supposed to come in about twenty minutes to take a break before heading to Canterlot. Meaning I got to wait even more, what a fucking joy! After ten minutes of even more torture I decided to partake in a friendly game of Rock, Paper, Scissors with a conductor. I somehow lost.

        While trying to figure out how I lost to a being without thumbs the train version of the Care Bears and Rainbow Brite’s lovechild had managed to pull it’s way into the station. After boarding, I got myself comfortable in one of the chairs which, big shock, seemed to be designed for midgets! It’s like this world is constantly trying to make me angry.

        Looking out the window I saw something that made physics shit itself in terror. I saw some pegasi pushing the clouds. Let me repeat that, pegasi pushing the clouds. As the train started moving I threw open the window and yelled what was on my mind at the moment.

“BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!” My voice echoed throughout the whole valley, causing multiple ponies to stop in shock.

        After convincing the conductors that I was not mentally insane, which did take a long time, I managed to calm down enough that I could sit down without screaming in rage at the buttrape of physics I had just witnessed.

As the train passed through a tunnel I heard a rush of air from in front of me, and as soon as the train left Death was sitting right in front of me. He looked at me seriously. “There is someone I want you to meet when you get up to Canterlot, you should recognise her right away.”

        “Another wraith?” Could it be?

        “Yes but be careful, she does not like humanity or men.” With those words he vanished once again leaving me staring at an empty seat.

        After a few more minutes of travel the train had pulled up to the Canterlot train station and I was treated to a sight that made me want to curl up in terror. The stone was on fire! How in the holy fucking hells is this even possible! No Michael, calm down everything’s fine. It’s just an illusion, just a trick of the light.

        As soon as the train stopped I rushed off it as fast as possible and ignored the second assraping to physics that was happening around me and made my way into the city.... You ever see those movies where a tornado runs through a city and leaves nothing but devastation in it’s path? Well imagine that multiplied by ten, and that gives a pretty good description of the city street. Many ponies were hiding in fear behind crates and overturned carts.

        Before I could contemplate the conundrums of cowering candy colored ponies I was brought back to reality by a poke in my knee. Looking down a white pegasus pony in gold armor was staring at me impassively.

        “The princess has requested that I escort you around Canterlot, however in light of recent events that’s going to be a bit difficult.” I simply nodded.

        “Well I would say we should go tour the town but now I think it would be best if we got to the hotel as fast as possible.” He looked a bit taken back before his face once again became a stone wall and nodded.

        Making our way down the street with him leading I was able to see the extent of the damages caused. Many carts were lit on fire and windows were shattered. While staring at the devastation around me we had reached the front door of the hotel. Entering we were greeted to a white marble floor and arched ceiling.

The tan colored unicorn clerk sitting behind the counter raised an eye as we entered. “Welcome to the Silver Wing, how can I help you?” I pulled out the envelope and proceed to show him my hotel room pass. He simply nodded and pulled a key from underneath the desk and passed it towards us. “Third floor, seventh door on the right.” Nodding we made our way up the stairs and managed to enter the room without much difficulty, asides having to duck underneath the midget door.

        The room was as expected. Beige walls were lined with paintings of scenery; a rotating fan was spinning slowly, and a single bed rested in the center of the room.

I turned to look at my winged companion. “She say anything about watching me?”

He turned and stared into my eyes. “She said that I am to watch you at all times.”

I simply stood there and slowly brought a palm to my face. “Well then I call the floor.”

        After managing to convince my destined watcher that I was fine sleeping on the floor and not on a bed three sizes too small, we had decided to stay up in the room until the chaos outside had passed. Somehow the guard had managed to find a deck of cards and suggested that we play a game of, get this, Equestrian Hold’em. I had quite a laugh until the guard whacked my leg with his wing. Thus we decided to partake in a game, and somehow he’s actually pretty good at this.

        “Why do I keep losing to things that lack thumbs!”

        He laughed. “It’s simple, you suck at this.”

        Suddenly a loud banging came from the wall, knocking a couple paintings off of it. “Hey! Shut the fuck up! We’re trying to have a decent fucking conversation over here you fuck!” That voice was female no doubt about it.

        I yelled back, “Sorry!”

        She called back. “You fucking better be!” What the fuck? PMS much!?

        I turned back to the guard, who was looking at the wall in annoyance. “Well anyways, back to the previous conversation allow me to show you what I can do.”

        I reached over and grabbed the cards from him and started shuffling them. After a minute I stopped and quickly looked at the bottom card, it was an eight of spades. Smiling I spread the cards face down on the floor, being careful to not disturb the deck.

        “Ok I want you to pick out the eight of spades from these cards, without looking at them.” He looked confused for a second before pointing towards a random card, picking it up it was the five of clubs. For the trick to work I have to have him think he succeeded in picking.

        Putting the card face down I put on a smile, “Well done. Now do the same thing for the five of clubs.”

        He once again pointed towards a card and I picked it up, it was the jack of diamonds. Smiling I set it on top of the five of clubs, facedown of course.

        “Very good, you’re a professional at this. However I will pick the next one, lets say the jack of diamonds.” Moving my hand back and forth over the cards I stopped over the eight of spades and picked it up.

        “Now list the cards we were supposed to find.”

        “We chose the eight of spades; the five of clubs, and the jack of diamonds.” Smirking I revealed the three cards causing him to gasp.

        “You mean these ones?”

        He just stared slack jawed. “How?”

        I chuckled, they must be very gullible. “A magician never reveals his secrets.” Before he could give a retort something knocked on my door.  Looking at each other we walked over and opened the door. This time we saw another guard standing there looking just as impassive as ever, however this one had a horn.

        “Due to a mistake in scheduling involving the princesses current guest, your meeting have been moved to right now.”

        I blinked slowly. “You do know that the city is in shambles, right?”

        “The princess said that I am to teleport you to the castle.” Oh well that makes the most sen... WAIT WHAT!?

        “I’m sorry what the...” Before I could react a flash filled the room and I found myself standing inside an elegantly decorated  room in front of a tall white horse and a somewhat shorter blue one.

        “...Fuck do you mean. OKAY WHAT THE FUCK!” The white horse cringed at my language as the blue one tried to hold in laughter. And just to top it off I got hit again, this time in my knee cap.

        “Be respectful in front of the princesses!” ‘Wait, oh god damn it.’

        “Sorry, sorry. I’ve just had a stressful day.” The white one nodded.

        “I must also say that I have had a stressful day. Why don’t we have some tea to calm down.” Oh thank god.

        “That sounds lovely, um...” The white and blue one sat down on a cushion next to a table.

        “Oh pardon me, I am Princess Celestia.” The white one said with a nod of her head.

The blue one decided to join in. “And I am Princess Luna, a pleasure.”

 I took a seat and the guard sat next to me. “Of course.” Grabbing a teacup I blew on it before taking a sip, hmm this is good.

Luna decided to speak up after a second. “Before we begin I must know, are you related to someone named Sarah?”

        “Nope, I don’t even know who that is.”

They both sighed and Luna continued. “Oh, just wondering. Anyways we brought you here to simply learn about you.”

        “First off, how did you know I was in Ponyville?”

        Celestia chuckled at that. “I learned after my student sent me a letter saying that the townsfolk were talking about another human running around.”

        I chuckled nervously, “Oh that makes sense.”

        Luna cleared her throat . “Well we were wondering if you could tell us about your life before you died.”

        I was drinking tea when said that, it’s now all over Celestia's face. “H-how did you know!?”

        Celestia calmly wiped her face with a napkin. “We had conversations with others just like you, to be honest. You’re the third wraith we’ve seen today.” Well that was surprising, if there were two before me then there might be more walking around. Well now that explains the calmness of the ponies in the town.

        Luna tapped a hoof on the table. “Well, would you like to talk?”

        I paused before nodding. “Yes, I would like that. Ok... Lets see I was born February 14 twenty one years ago and died yesterday...”

        It took me awhile but I told them about my life, how I struggled to get a degree in metallurgist. And my dreams of getting a job in China, working with a mining company. Then the events leading up to my demise.

        “And then I was told either wait fifty years in the void, or became a wraith.” I slumped down as I finished speaking, and Celestia looked at me with some sadness.

        She put a hoof on my shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

        I pushed her hoof off and sighed. “It’s ok. You had nothing to do with it.”

        Luna spoke this time. “What are you going to do now?”

        I shrugged, “I don’t know.”