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CH 1: In Which I Got Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Really Bored

Day 35

                As the title dictates, I was really bored. Key word being: WAS.

        It was on a day much like any other day, except for the fact that I was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really bored. But then I got attacked by an evil beaver. You know on nature shows how they always say, “I'm going to go attack that tiger,” or “I'm going to go attack that snake,” or “I'm going to go attack that shark”? Well, they never say “I'm going to go attack that beaver.” You know why? Because that beaver kicked my ass. I only got away because while I was hitting him with my metal bat he took it and ate it, and he was luckily distracted long enough for me to jump out my window.

        After running all the way to the other side of town I was greeted by an amazing sight: Discord and the Mane Six were all standing in a circle. “Uhh, Twi, why is Discord here?”

        Twilight spun around along with everypony else to stare at me. “Oh hi, Lee. Thank goodness you're here.”

        “What's up?”

        “The Princess wants you and Fluttershy to help rehabilitate Discord She said it is...”

        “Yeah, no. Personally, I don't think he is that bad of a guy. I mean, some of his stuff was a little dickish but most of it was just, well, slightly annoying but nothing was that bad.”

        “See this thing has the right idea.”

        “But Lee, Celestia-”

        “Let me stop you there. You already heard my first reason and here is another one: I have to go get revenge on an evil beaver that ate my bat.”

        There was a loud snap and a sudden weight in my hand. “Here, use this,” Discord said as I looked down at the solid black bat now resting in my hand.

        “Wow, this is really light. What's it made of?

        “I made it out of Chaos,” he quipped while turning lazy circles in the air above me.

        “Uhh...thanks,” I grumbled, turning it over in my hand.  “Well, I have rodent to go beat to death.”

        “What?!” fluttershy shouted...well, more like whispered really, really loudly. “Why would you want to do somthing like that?”

        “Because it attacked me and is probably eating my house?”

        As I walked away I could hear the frustrated shouts of Twilight and the rest of the gang and Fluttershy crying.

CH 2: In Which Crouching Lee Hidden Something or Other

Day 35

        That damn beaver was still in my house munching down on what was left of my bookcase. I carefully snuck through the hole he made in my door and across the room to where he was nomming on my stuff.  I raised the bat over my head and swung with all the force I could muster. The moment the bat impacted its head there was a weird lazer gun sound and the beaver disappeared leaving...a...hat?

        The beaver got turned into a hat. A beaver skin hat with the tail as the brim. Let me just go on record and say right now: I fucking love this bat. Donning my new hat and looking at my destroyed home, I set to work grabbing some things I would need...and left it all at Twilight’s house.

        But back to the important things: there was a god of chaos on the loose and by the heavens I was going to exploit that if it kills me. Step one: find him.

        “Killed the beaver, it turned into a hat, so now I’m wearing it. Besides, it fits well.”

        “Whatever. Anyways, do you think you could lend me a hoof getting Fluttershy down here? I need to convince her to to stop trying to help Discord. He is just awful.”

        “So, not like eight weeks ago you were so obsessed with doing EXACTLY what Celestia said that you almost cost an empire its freedom to a dark lord and now all of a sudden you don't give a rat’s ass?”

        “Yes, well, no...well, uhhh... this is different...” A pause. “Just get her down here,” she said, stamping her hoof down.

        “Fine. Ahem. Oh no, is that bunny choking on that carrot? Who will help her?” Literally faster than I could blink Fluttershy was right in front of us.

        “WHERE'S THE BUNNY?”

        “Calm down, I was just trying to get you down here. Twi needs to talk to ya.”

        While the girls talked about boring stuff like trying to reform a god I managed to find a way to entertain myself with my new bat I decided to call the Wabbajack. Yes, I got it from Skyrim but so what. Anyway, the bat in question had so far turned a beaver into a hat, made a rock completely disappear, and turned an apple tree into an carrot tree...don't tell Applejack...please.

        It was around the time that the carrot tree came into being that I received a letter via paper airplane and it read: “Dear pink fleshy thing that I gave the bat to, you are cordially invited to dinner at Fluttershy's house.” It was signed “Discord.”

CH 3: In Which Free Food

Day 35

        I arrived at Fluttershy's house to find it had been set back into the ground in its rightful place. I could hear the sound of talking from inside so I decide to join at an...odd time.  The gravy boat was attacking Rainbow Dash and some of the candles were dancing around. I thought it best to leave.

CH 4: In Which Ice

Day 35

        There is fucking water everywhere. Seriously, like a foot of water! It’s everywhere and its getting deeper! The deluge of water appears to be coming from the farm. Time to investigate.

        FUCK IT FROZE AND I’M STUCK! HELP ME!!