Written In Derp

   A rainy summer's day has everypony stuck inside, including Derpy Hooves. Her flanks sat unmoving in her red chair. The chair was covered in muffin crumbs and stained with Celestia-knows-what. Her eyes trained on the screen of her laptop (which she was holding upside-down).

   "Wow! This story is awesome!" she exclaimed. Doctor Whooves lifted his head up from the daily paper to see what all the fuss was about. He happily walked over and turned the laptop rightside-up for his goofy partner. "Oh, I get it now! Eh, the story's not that good anymore." She set her laptop down on a table to her left that wasn't there in first place. The laptop proceeded to fall and break on the floor. Derpy looked down to the shattered laptop. "I just don't know what went wrong!"

   Her catchphrase echoed through the room. She blushed, embarrassed that she had done something stupid (yet again) in front of the Doctor. She had had a crush on him for a while but never had the gall to ask him out on a date. Unbeknownst to her, he felt the same way and was having the same problem.

   "It's fine, I'll clean it up later." he said in a heavy Trottingham accent, as it was his hometown before he moved to Ponyville. She knew it wasn't "fine". After all, it was his laptop.

   "I-I'll get you another one?" she half asked, half stated.

   "No, really, it's fine. At least it wasn't my Sonic Screwdriver." he pointed a hoof at the hutch at the back wall. On top was a small, cylindrical tube-looking object. It was almost all chrome except for the top, which had a small blue diode that lit up. Derpy knew not to go anywhere near it unless told to do so.

   "Okay." she said solemnly. There was a long silence between the two. "Ugh, when is this rain going to end?" she asked.

   "Probably when the lake fills back up. We've been in a drought for a few days, we need some rain."

   Derpy groaned and sank low into her chair. "Can't even go get more muffins." she grumbled. She looked down at the laptop and thought for a few moments.

   "I'VE GOT AN IDEA!" she yelled.

   "What is it?"

   "I'll write my own fanfic!"

   The Doctor put down his newspaper and stared at Derpy, surprised by the words that just protruded from her mouth. "Erm, what's it going to be about?" he asked nervously, as if he were asking a kidnapper what type of torture would be done to him.

   "Uhhhh... OOH! I know! It can be about our adventures together! We've had quite a few, y'know." said Derpy.

   "Um, but you don't even have a laptop anymore! Oh, well. Looks like it can't be done. Too bad!" he said, trying as hard as he could to keep her from writing this fanfic.

   "I'll write it on paper for now and give it to Twilight when I'm done!"

   "Oh, she's good." thought Doctor Whooves. "Great idea!" he said through clenched teeth. "Excuse me, but I've gotta go to the bathroom."

   He fast walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

   "What are you going to do!? She's going to write that monstrosity and you're just going to let her!? What kind of twisted stallion are you!?" he said to himself. "But, I don't want to hurt her feelings! She's too nice! Think, Doctor, THINK!"

   "I'M DONE!" yelled Derpy from the living room.

   "Oh, no."