Written In Derp

   The Doctor's phone blared a few moments later.

   "Whooves residence." said the Doctor sleepily. There was indistinct chatter on the other line, but the word "crime could clearly be heard. "Got it. On my way."

   He leapt out of bed, donned his bowtie, and grabbed his Sonic Screwdriver. He went to Derpy's room and woke her up gently. She slowly rose from her pillow and stretched. Her covers were embroidered with muffins and she was grasping a raggedy Smartypants doll tightly.

   "Uh, wha?" she mumbled.

   "Trouble in Canterlot. We gotta go."

   "Can't the guards handle it?"

   "It's OUR kind of trouble. The kind that cannot be comprehended by the uninformed. Get ready to go, we're catching the train."

   "Ugh. Alrighty."

   She quickly brushed her teeth and took a shower. After they got ready, they took one step out of the house and were instantly hit with a rush of extremely cold air. It was snowing!

   "Hey, Doc! It's snowing!" said Derpy happily.

   "In the summer? This can't be right." he said. "How can it be snowing in summer?"

   "Maybe the pegasi are issuing an early winter."

   He looked up and noticed the gale going on up in the clouds. "Something about those uncontrollable, swirling clouds tells me that isn't the case." He looked down at Derpy, who was making snow angels. "Come on!" he said as he grabbed her and began running to the train station.

   The two had arrived in Canterlot and were searching for the address the Doctor had been given. The train ride had been uneventful, other than Derpy accidentally knocking over a cart wheeling wine around. Berry Punch, another passenger, nearly broke into a fit at the loss of all of that wine, unfortunately, she was so inhebriated she passed out before a single tear was shed.

   They made it to the street corner where the address was.

   "The place should be right around the corner. Hopefully we got here before the authorities." he said. Sadly, he was mistaken. The entire block had become an enormous crime scene.

   "Well, it looks like the difficulty has increased substantially. Wouldn't you say, Derpy?" he said. No answer. He turned around and his partner was nowhere to be found. He searched the block and found her in a bakery, ogling the pastries.

   "Derpy!" he scolded.

   "Sorry! I didn't have breakfast this morning!" she replied.

   He facehoofed, then thought for a moment. "Alright, you stay here and get breakfast. I'll talk to the chief. Just don't break anything."

   She saluted goofily, smacking herself in the eye. She rubbed her eye and blushed, embarrassed from committing such a foolish act.

   "Right then." he said, unamused at her antics at this critical point of an adventure. He left and trotted to the police chief, who was standing outside of the house. "Excuse me, sir! May I ask what seems to be the problem?" he said with a smile.

   "Oh! Doctor! It's been a while, it has!" said the chief in a stereotypical policeman's brogue. "What brings ya, lad?"

   "Well, sir--"

   "Please, call me Clover."

   "C-Clover?" he hesitated.

   "Yes, as in Fourleaf Clover! That's me name!"

   "I see. As I was saying, Clover, I hear there have been some strange goings-on in this alleged 'crime'." He had attempted to make air quotes, but having hooves made it difficult to put up two fingers he didn't have. "Stupid horse body." he mumbled quietly.

   "Why yes! Reports from neighbors say they heard screaming and a large explosion. We went in there and there was no body to be found, nor even a sign of one! I assure you, this is the strangest case we've gotten since that tidal wave of multicolored goop! It was stretchable and bouncable! And poppable! All those kids down at the school said it was called 'Gak'! What is 'Gak'?"

   As Clover asked this, a group of teenaged colts ran by and yelled "GAK GAK GAK!!!"

   "Oooh!!! When I get my hooves on those young'uns! Did you see that, Doctor?" He turned to the Doctor, who was giggling quietly. The Doctor then realized he was in the gaze of Clover and quickly straightened his bowtie and feigned a cough.

   "Ahem. Excuse me, I have a bit of a cough today. Now, were there any witnesses or anyone that was with the victim at the time of death?"

   "Aye. The winged blue one was on the phone with our victim."

   "Where can I find him?"

   Clover pointed over Doc's shoulder at a small table in front of the coffee shop that Derpy was dining in. At the table were three ponies. A blue pegasus, a brown pegasus, and a white unicorn. The blue pegasus was sipping a latte solemnly as the others seemed to be consoling him. The Doctor straightened his bowtie once again and casually walked toward the party of three.

   "Excuse me, may I ask your names?" he said.

   The blue pegasus sighed a dramatic, but quiet, "hello, Doctor".

   "Hi, Doctor. I'm Reeses Cup. Frowny over there is Rocket. And the unicorn is Wiiden." said the brown pegasus.

   "Hey! I have every reason to be 'frowny', Reeses. My ex just got blown into oblivion by something nopony can even see! Don't be disrespectful!" said Rocket angrily.

   "Sorry, just tryin' to lighten the mood." said Reeses.

   "I know. Sorry." Rocket replied sadly. He was looking at the floor the entire time, only using his eyes to look around.

   "Now, if you're in the mood, I have some questions I'd like you to answer, Rocket." said the Doctor professionally. Rocket brought his head up at the sound of his name.

   "Depends on the mood you want me to answer in." he replied with a sad smile.

   "The answering mood would be excellent at this time."

   "What do you want to know?"

   "Everything. Did you hear anything strange when you were on the phone with her? Any explosions, or crackling, or mechanical voices yelling 'EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE'?"

   "There was a strange mechanical whining during the call. It was like something was powering up or a shrill white noise. And after that, she screamed," his voice began breaking and trembling, "and there was a big explosion. That's it."

   "Alright. I'm sorry."

   "It's okay." he sniffled

   "What do you think it was?"

   "I honestly have no idea. It didn't sound like anything that I've heard."

   "Did she have any enemies that you know of?"

   "No. Then again, I haven't seen her in a few months. Who knows what could've happened in that timeframe."

   Doc was going to say something, but Derpy began screaming just a few yards behind him. He turned to see what the problem was and couldn't believe what he was seeing. A pterodactyl was trying to steal Derpy's bag of muffins. A real-life, in the flesh pterodactyl! In Canterlot! He had seen them before in his travels through time and space, but never in Equestria (at least present day Equestria)!

   Just as Derpy got her bag back, another one darted in and knocked her to the ground with its long, sharp beak. She lay motionless on the floor as the prehistoric hoodlums munched on her breakfast. What a day.