My Rustled Jimmies

Applejack confidently stood at her cart, displaying a myriad of delectable home-baked Apple Family apple goods, including apple fritters, apple fries, caramel apples and several bottles of her family’s sensational apple cider; perched on a shelf was the other apple pie that she’d brought, standing out as the crown jewel of her refreshments cart. She happily proclaimed to herself,

“ First minute, first sale!”

A bolt of flaming light shot out of the castle and past the long line of partygoers still waiting to get inside, trailed by a thin stream of cloud that spat tiny sparks of electricity into the air, before dispersing. The speeding light came to an abrupt stop right next to Applejack’s cart, revealing itself as Captain Spitfire; the wind from her momentum travelled on and nearly took off Applejack’s embroidered Stetson hat, made especially for the Grand Galloping Gala by Rarity. The Captain quickly spotted the pie and pointed a hoof at it.

“ Excuse me, but how much is that pie there?” she swiftly asked. Applejack’s eyes were still wide from the sudden gust of wild wind as she re-adjusted her hat to fit the comfortable groove it had formed on her mane.

“ Land sakes, if ya go any faster the next time, you’ll take mah head right off!”

Spitfire looked back and fluttered her wings, smiling confidently at the two powerful magical tools that had carried her from childhood to her majesty’s service – and coincidently, stardom.

“ Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I’ve still got some post-performance adrenaline pumping in these wings.”

Applejack smiled disarmingly, “ No worries, Wonderbolt. Ya feeling hungry?”

Spitfire shook her head, “ Not me, I’ve already had my fill from the hors d’oeuvre tables inside. But, my wingpony Soarin’ only wants pie.”

“ Soarin’ eh? That one was just here a second ago, and he already bought mah other pie. I guess he really is hungry as a horse!” Applejack replied, and Spitfire scrunched her nose at “horse”. Applejack noticed and hastily apologized,

“ Sorry, ma’am. Guess I got a little too used to his way’o’talkin’. Uh- y’all were looking at buying that pie?”

“ Sure am!”

Applejack lifted the pie off its shelf and held it out; the succulent apple pastry’s enticing aroma wafted up to Spitfire’s nose. Her eyes widened, having to admit internally that Soarin’ was on to something if this pie was as delicious to eat as it was to smell.

“ That’ll be two bits, Wonderbolt!” said Applejack, still brandishing the pie to the captivated Spitfire. She snapped back to reality,

“ Huh? Oh, right, payment. Two bits, you said?” she replied, before turning and flaring her wings for takeoff.

“ I’ll be right back. Just got to grab two bits from my trailer.” She said, and then zoomed into the sky, leaving behind a puff of electric cloud. Applejack shrugged, speaking to herself,

“ Ah’m not holdin’ it for ya, Wonderbolt. Better hurry on back.”

The line into the party stretched on, and Applejack was starting to notice some irritated looks in the crowd.

“ What’s the big hold-up?” one mare said,

“ If this takes any longer, I might just get desperate!” said another,

“ I’m starving, I’m tired, and I need a drink right now!” said a third.

Applejack sat back, thinking to herself.

If this line keeps up, then Ah’ll be swimmin’ in customers!

*******************************************************

The trailers were nearby, but still a lengthy stroll for non-Pegasi; for Spitfire, ace flyer and Captain of the Wonderbolts, it was the blink of an eye. She slowed down as she passed over the chain link fence and waved to the lone Unicorn Guard.

“ How’s it going, Pilum? Any intruders lately?” She asked. The Unicorn shook his head, smiling at the Captain.

“ None so far, ma’am. Unless they’re being craftier than usual.”

Spitfire scoffed, “ Or they could be flying. You sure didn’t see me coming up, did you?”

“ Well no, but I knew you were coming.” Pilum replied, “ I could hear you flying from a mile away with all that thunder and lightning chasing you.”

Spitfire landed and trotted along rows of trailers, heading for her own; Pilum followed beside her. The two came to hers; she unlocked the door and headed inside. Spitfire’s trailer was a lot like herself: clean and orderly. Her bed was in the far right corner and her Wonderbolt colored sheets were already made for the night, a stack of unstamped posters were on her desk along with an inkpad of black ink, her small closet was filled with fresh uniforms and closed, several Wonderbolts posters hung around the large room – most of them depicting herself, other than a tiny neat bathroom and a Wonderbolts blue carpet, her trailer was empty.

She reached into a compartment on the desk and pulled out two bits. Then she heard the guard shouting outside.

“ Captain! Soarin’s door is open!”

She muttered to herself and went out to meet the guard.

“ For Celestia’s sake… What’s going on, Pilum?”

The guard pointed to the wide open door of Soarin’s trailer; Spitfire approached the entrance, but as soon as she came within smelling distance, she recoiled and gagged. The Unicorn Guard came to her side,

“ Are you alright, ma’am?” he said, putting his hoof out towards her; Spitfire waved him away and pointed to the trailer entrance.

“ I’m fine. Smell.”

Pilum came close too, before backpedaling and biting his tongue hard.

“ That’s RANCID! What’s in there?”

Spitfire shrugged, “ I don’t want to know, and I doubt you do either. I’ve only been in Soarin’s trailer once before I learned better. But I do know that he always forgets to close his door.”

“ So, nothing to worry about?” the guard asked. Spitfire laughed,

“ You did smell that, right? If there’s an intruder hiding in there, it won’t be among the living for much longer. See you later, Pilum.”

“ Enjoy the Gala, ma’am.” The guard replied, and Spitfire flew off again.

In a second, she was high above the small compound. But before she could leave for the apple cart, the glint of something metal on the ground caught her eye. She dove back down behind Soarin’s trailer and looked for the object. Sitting in the dirt was one half of a golden wing-shaped decoration, one side ending in a hook. Spitfire fancied it was part of a headpiece, but the other half was nowhere to be found.

“ Hmm, I doubt this pretty little thing belongs to Pilum.” She said to herself. She came out from behind the trailer and met up with Pilum.

“ Hey, check this out.” She said, holding up her find. “ You think somepony might have dropped this while snooping?”

The guard eyed the golden wing, “ Well, it looks like something a Pegasus would wear. I guess I’ll have to keep my eye out for any other signs.”

“ Well,” Spitfire started, holding out the wing to the Unicorn, “ You hold on to this for now, I’ve still got a pie to deliver.”

“ Like I said before, ma’am: Enjoy the Gala.” Pilum said, waving. Spitfire flapped up into the air, nodding back.

“ Have a good shift, Pilum. Don’t get killed by any crazed fans!”

******************************************************************************

The voices ceased, but Rainbow Dash was far from calm; the stench was intensifying, as if it knew of her presence and was trying to repel her. She stayed still in the darkness, surrounded by filth, when the sound of hooves approached the door. She thought of ducking down, but she feared getting something stuck on her dress and having to explain it to Rarity later. She dared not breath since the voices started, taking heed of the mention of not ‘ being among the living much longer’.

THWUMP

…The door closed. The trailer went pitch black.

Rainbow stared at it for several minutes, hoping that by some miracle it would open again.

CLICK

The lock, that’s just great. Rainbow Dash waded through the garbage in the dark, valiantly holding her stomach contents in as she felt the grease and sticky residue of a thousand dribbling energy cans and forgotten remnants of food. Though the room was black, she remembered that to her right was the door to the bathroom. She patted the wall with a hoof, finally hitting hinges and a handle. Rainbow Dash bent her head down to clench the handle in her teeth, but paused at the last second and wisely decided on fumbling it open with her hooves instead. As she pushed the door open, Dash hoped that the bathroom would not be any worse.

Strangely enough, the new smell that hit her was of toothpaste and hair products; definitely a welcome change when compared to the rest of the trailer. Rainbow dashed inside and slammed the door shut behind her. On the wall opposite to the door, a square of pale light was behind a curtain. She got up on her hind legs, slid the curtain aside and sighed in relief at the sight of the window. She began opening it, when a spot of light from the Unicorn Guard’s horn flicked into the open and illuminated the thin space beneath a nearby trailer. Dash ducked down, peaking out as the guard strolled in between the trailers, searching under each one. The Pegasus watched curiously, thinking to herself.

What’s that guy looking for? Did he drop something?

The light came closer and briefly fell on a rock near the window; behind the rock, hidden from the guard’s sight, was the other half of Dash’s headpiece. Her eyes widened and her hind legs trembled; she knew now what that guard was looking for. The guard, however, did not see the small wing behind the rock and moved out of Rainbow’s sight.

He was looking for it; that could only mean the other half was found! Dash gulped and slid open the window; she peered out timidly at first, but the guard was gone, so she quickly dove out of the disgusting tomb of lost meals that was Soarin’s trailer.

Rainbow Dash swooped down and snatched the other half of her headpiece; she looked over it, wiping a bit of dirt off the eye on one side of the small golden wing. For a second, she scanned the ground, but as she expected, the other half was nowhere to be found.

“ Damn it!” she muttered; that was supposed to be easy! Rainbow flew out of the compound and into the trees nearby; now, she looked down at her hooves that had been in the thick of Soarin’s filth. They were absolutely soiled, discolored and gave off a horrid smell; the golden shoes and laces on Dash’s front hooves were grimy and scuffed. Rainbow Dash growled; this wasn’t going to be fun to explain to Rarity, not to mention the loss of half of her awesome headpiece.

“ DAMN IT!”