Adventures of a Man turned Beastly

Disclaimer: I don't own MLP:FiM, I don't own the ponies, I wish I did. But I don't. All I own is Mundo, and the storyline, and I'm not sure about the latter, I'm not a lawyer.... Also, I tend to switch between past and present tenses when writing, purely by accident, sorry if that bothers you.

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/Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is.... it's Hump Day! Woop woop! Otherwise known as Wednesday. Scoots has school again, I'll probably get into some mischief, and the residents of Ponyville will go about their business as usual. Until I can find a cabbage cart. Oh the fun that will be had then! -evil laugh-/

Morning monologue- one of the earliest signs of an empty stomach, at least to me. /Time to go find something a little healthier than pastries that are going stale./ Going with my first coherent thought, cabbage, or any other vegetable/fruit I can. Problem is, there seem to be a lot of ponies about today, and so early in the morning, too. Why?

I squeeze out of the house through the back door as quietly as I can, checking for any ponies within sight. I can't see any on the ground, guess the coast is -WHACK- clear. /Guess not./

Reaching around, I peel the stunned gray pegasus pony off of my left shoulder and carefully set her /Seriously, how the hell am I doing this?/ on a patch of grass next to the cobbles, then proceed on my way on my quest for veggies, not even questioning why the dazed pony was mumbling about muffins.

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a few hours or so later, sometime about noonish?

/Note to self- don't take the fact that only ninety percent or so of ponies are scared of me for granted anymore. You'll end up running around town, with a large bucket full of apples hanging from your teeth, a bright orange earth pony hanging onto a rope around your neck trying to slow you down and a rainbow-maned pegasus pony divebombing you in hopes of disorienting you at worst, knocking you over at best-/

-crack-BOOM-scrrrrrrrrrrrreeee-

“Graaagh!” /I have got to stop monologuing, it seems to get me in trouble./ That, and I've fallen over and instantly gotten tied up -arms tight against my sides- and muzzled by the orange pony, with rope as thick as last time. I would probably attempt to break it, as that is my usual tactic, but it glows when I try. /Probably magically strengthened or something, I dunno./ The orange cowpony has asked her rainbow-maned friend to go get Twilight and the others. /Probably to help haul me across town. I doubt just two ponies could haul me./

Speaking of others, after the dust from my fall settled, the ponies that ran and hid in their homes and shops when I came dashing through are just now starting to poke their heads out, and one of them pulls out a giant airhorn and pulls the trigger, sounding the all-clear, followed by cheers from the townsponies as Twilight, Rainbow Dash, the butter-colored pegasus from yesterday, who is looking distinctly less frozen in fear, Twilight's assistant/slave Spike, an extremely clean-looking white-coated, purple-maned pony, and lastly Pinkie Pie come around the corner, spot Applejack next to me, and trot/fly/hop over. The cheers don't decrease in volume, as a matter of fact, they get even louder as the small group loads me onto a low wooden cart that Pinkie pulls from inside a nearby bush.

Fluttershy -as I found out her name was called shortly after- shyly hops up on the cart beside me and is obscured from most of the crowd by my bulk, Rainbow Dash is scooping up the spilled bucket of apples I dropped when I fell, Pinkie is hopping in small circles talking nonstop, and Applejack is making sure the ropes are secure. I just fold my ears back as the crowd starts growing almost unbearably loud. Twilight's horn starts glowing, and I start struggling. Twilight stops for a moment and asks Fluttershy to make sure I don't struggle much, as it could throw off the teleport and scramble us all. Hearing this, I stop moving around before Twilight begins charging again, then before I can blink we're in the bookworm's basement/laboratory again, complete with flash of light and magical noises. After a moment, Spike pipes up, “Well, what happens now?”

Twilight facehooves and replies, “I'm going finish the last few tests I've devised on Mundo, as Scootaloo calls him. I'm just glad you found out from Applebloom that Scootaloo had a pet monster. Who knows what would have happened if he'd been running around loose for longer?”

/HOLD THE GODDAMN PHONE. Scoots sold me out?/ Indirectly, I know, but it still hurts. Also, I'm still hungry. Everypony looks around for the grumbling noise, courtesy of my stomach, until they settle their eyes on me. Cue slight panic from Twilight.

“Oh no no no no no no no-” /Can I call 'em or what?/ “-we don't know what he eats!”

“Well, Ah'd say find out, Twi.” Applejack speaking, common sense ahoy!

“Um, excuse me....” Fluttershy. Accidentally ignored by everyone besides me because she's really quiet. Her name definitely fits her.

“IhavetogobacktohelptheCakeswiththelunchrushbye!” Pinkie zipping up the stairs, followed by the front door slamming.

“Well, just look at those horrid teeth!” Fancy pony with a fancy tone. Also with a touch of common sense. All of them take another look at me currently trying to push the slightly overtightened muzzle off with my tongue. What? It's pressing too hard on my nostrils. Twilight pulls the muzzle off the rest of the way with her magic and steps back, motioning for everypony to do the same. Taking a guess at what she wants to do, I clamp my mouth shut as tightly as I can. Then, when Twilight tries to pry my mouth open to get a better look at my teeth again, she can't.

Fluttershy tries again, this time getting attention from the others. “Um, he was trying to carry off a bucket of apples... maybe he eats those?” receiving nods and murmurs of agreement from the others, before Pinkie pulls out the bucket of apples from earlier /Where did she pull that from? I thought Rainbow Dash had them.../ and passes it to Fluttershy, who speaks up once again. “Open up, please.” I don't comply, and she slowly places an apple in front of my nose, which would be out of reach for most creatures without insect mandibles. In a rapid movement, I open my mouth, flick the mandibles out and the apple in, hide the mandibles, and start chewing. The ponies (and Spike) are still blinking in astonishment and wondering what has just happened as I swallow the fruit, core and all.

Spike deadpans, “Dash, I think you're beaten for speed.” Rainbow Dash glares daggers at Spike, who cowers while Twilight lights up her horn again. Fluttershy simply places another apple in front of my nose. Right as my traitorous stomach made me flick my mandibles out, Twilight's horn flashes and I am frozen in place, mandibles barely piercing the apple's peel and jaw wide open. Ever been frozen in place while everyone stares at you in shock? Yeah. Like you're a little kid who's accidentally spilled your orange drink on the bride's dress at a wedding. Except I wasn't frozen due to terror.

Twilight whips out a quill and parchment, and began taking notes and drawing diagrams at a very fast speed. Rarity, Rainbow, and Fluttershy took this as a cue to leave, still somewhat shocked at the speed I could move at. Twilight's spell fades as Fluttershy went upstairs after placing the apple bucket next to the lowest step, and I flick my second apple of the day into my mouth and begin chewing.

A few minutes later, Twilight is still writing, Spike was starting to get bored, and I was still hungrily gazing at the apples, cursing my body's instincts. Spike was looking between Twilight and the bucket, then he seems to make a decision. He quietly walks over, picks out an apple, and comes up to set it on the table, quickly pulling his hand back in case he got snagged by the mandibles. I wait until he is out of reach, then slowly grab the apple and eat it. Spike gets a mischievous gleam in his eye, and tosses another apple at me. I catch that one that one and devour it as well. Spike starts tossing more apples at me, slowly at first, then faster, and I catch them every time, causing the little dragon's grin to grow larger each time. Hunger is a powerful motivator sometimes, and we both get what we want from this little shenanigan- Spike gets entertained, and I get food. After the last apple was tossed and eaten, Spike sets the bucket upside down and sits on it, bored again, and I'm still hungry. Running around town tends to do that. Twilight just happens to finish writing whatever it was she's been writing during our little escapade, and turns back to me... with a contemplative look on her face. /Not good. Not good at all./

The lavender menace claps a helmet/modified colander onto my head out of nowhere /Seriously, do these ponies have hammerspace or something?/ and connects it to some sort of machine on the next table over, using some cable that had been neatly coiled next to it. Spike takes this moment to ask, “Twilight, what are you doing?”

Twilight replies, “Just think for a moment, Spike. We have a newly-discovered species in Equestria,  and we know hardly anything about it! Just think of the discoveries to be made, Spike!”

Seeing the annoyed look on my face, Spike begins, “But you could probably just ask-” Twilight shushes him.

“We need scientific proof, Spike. Not based on a hunch.” Spike sighs. I show my growing irritation at being tied up by jerking my head and tip the machine over with a bang and the sound of shattering glass, and it starts smoking from where the cables had pulled loose. /Let's see her use it now./

“Now can we just ask him if he's smart?” Spike says with a small smirk. Now it was Twilight's turn to sigh.

“No, Spike, we can't. That machine was the only way I could get solid scientific data about him.” I grumble and start pulling at the ropes again, and the table starts creaking quietly under the strain, unnoticed by Spike or Twilight, who was frantically trying -and failing- to return the machine on the table to a workable state for her tests. I pull again and the table cracks loudly, causing Spike and Twilight to jump, then turn their heads slowly toward me.

“Oh no/snap!” They say simultaneously. I give one last mighty heave of frustration,  forcing the ropes to loosen and finish converting the table to a small pile of kindling, leaving me lying winded and angry on the ground. As I'm trying to get up and out of the ropes, Twilight grabs Spike in her magical aura, all but flings him onto her back and gallops upstairs, slamming the door and bolting it, and as I finish standing up, the door glows a faint purple before fading. I take a step forward, only to trip over the ropes still loosely wrapped about me. I growl and try to pull them off, to no avail. /Stupid claws!/ I thrash around in anger, crushing the machine, the table, and probably scaring the hell out of Twilight and Spike upstairs. The ropes finally slip off and I start trying to rip them apart, only succeeding after using my teeth to shred them. By the way, I don't advise doing that in real life, well-worn ropes taste nasty.

I climb up the stairs and open the door- forgetting for a moment that Twilight bolted it. I howl in rage and start trying to beat the door down, roaring with each fury-powered strike against the glowing door.

/I /-BOOM- /WANT/ -BOOM- /OUT!!/ -BOOM-

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“Hurry, Twilight, I think he's angrier than the door can keep in!” -BOOM-

“I'm trying!” -BOOM-

Twilight was hurriedly scribbling a short message to Princess Celestia, warning her about the large beast that they had captured and were studying, that had escaped, and was only contained by a magically strengthened, locked door in the library, which they doubted would hold long. Twilight finished her note and quickly handed it to Spike, who rolled it up and sent it to the princess with dragonfire. Spike asked, “What do we do now, Twilight?” -BOOM-

“I can answer that, my draconic friend.” Suddenly, Discord, moonwalking across the ceiling. Spike leaps behind a pile of adventure novels, and the unicorn sighs. -BOOM-

“What do you want, Discord?” Discord laughs. -BOOM-

“I'm here to rein in my creation, of course. Seeing as you made him angry.” Twilight blinks and takes a step back. Behind the door, Mundo roars and continues punching. -BOOM-

“What do you mean, your creation?” The draconequus just laughs again. -BOOM-

“Haven't you noticed how... chaotic, he is?” Twilight facehooves and shrieks,

“He wrecked half a building, scared most of the townsponies, threw a cabbage cart across town, ran my friends and I ragged chasing him down and is destroying the basement as we speak! Yes, I have noticed!!” the aggravated Element of Magic's mane needs a brush by this point, it has feathered out everywhere. Suddenly, the sound of large bone-plated arms and skull beating against the door halts. Everypony present turns to look at the door.

-Grehk-KAHzzt!-

The door suddenly goes flying off the hinges and is caught by Discord, who has a bemused look on his face. The great armored beast comes flying out straight at the frozen Twilight, claws extended and jaws open in a bellow of rage!

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/Screw peaceful, this pony had me tied down!/

“Raaaaaaa-” -WHANG- “-rrgh....” I slam headfirst into a door that appears out of nowhere, and slide to the floor, stunned, anger already starting to cool. Only then do I notice Discord hovering there, talon outstretched and holding the door I'd blown clean off of its hinges.

“Hello my monstrous friend,” He says. I stare blankly at him. /Why is he here?/ Seeing my expression, Discord sets the door aside and continues. “You seem to be rather irked. What's the problem?” I shake my head and point at Twilight. The part of my brain still raging hot, but rapidly cooling, is screaming at me to smash her into powder. The chaotic being sighs. “You know, that tells me nothing...”

Spike pops up from behind the books and says, “I don't think Mundo can speak.” before eeping at his courage and hides behind the books again. Discord stares at where the dragon vanished, before turning back to me and settling to the floor, muttering to himself about lousy scientists.

“Well my friend, it seems we need to fix that. Or would you prefer just roaring?” I get to my feet, shaking my head vehemently. I'd like the power of speech back. “Very well then, stand up straight and hold still, this won't hurt a bit!” I freeze in place and wait for him to do his thing. Talon hand glowing a sickly green, Discord shoves it painlessly into the front of my neck, into my throat and he starts rummaging around. I can feel the bits of my windpipe shifting around like water and cornmeal in a plastic bag. After some more shuffling about, his talon, still glowing, slides smoothly out of my neck, holding a rubber chicken. He looks at it with a bemused look on his face, then tosses it aside and says, “Speak, Mundo.”

I look at him and say “Bark, bark.” Blinking, I realize that my voice isn't the same as it was when I was human -not that I expected it to- but it's actually about as deep and gravelly as you'd expect from a being my size. I look at the draconequus and nod in thanks.

“Oh joy, he's still sarcastic as can be! Adios, everypony!” Laughing gleefully, Discord bows and vanishes in a puff of smoke.

Looking at the exhausted Twilight, I say “I think I'm just going to go. Thanks for the apples, Spike.” Spike nods in acknowledgment as I squeeze out the door, and the stressed lavender unicorn only sighs, not for the last time that day.