Adventures of a Man turned Beastly

Still chugging along here and enjoying where I'm going with this, even if some people don't.

Disclaimer: I don't own MLP: FiM or any associated characters and locations. All I own is Mundo and the story idea.

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I'm walking toward Canterlot, staying off of the roads and generally avoiding ponies if I see any. I'll have enough encounters with them when I reach my destination. It's slower going through medium brush and forest than it would be on a road, but I'm trying to stay out of sight for now, and besides, it's not much of a hassle to travel through, considering my bulk and armor. If anything, I'd rather be digging my way there, but that would leave a trail unless I dug pretty deep, and I ran into a Diamond Dog tunnel earlier doing that, complete with the dogs themselves. We went on our seperate ways, probably because they were impressed with how I could dig, and me because I wanted to be on my way. I stopped digging after that because they looked annoyed at their brand new me-sized air vent.

Speaking of which, if you're reading this, you're probably wondering why I'm going to Canterlot, the pony capital of Equestria. My answer? No, it's not totally random and off-the-wall. Something's calling me there, and the call gets stronger every step of the way. /I don't know what's calling me, but I consciously felt it as I left Ponyville, and I must answer in any way I can...

Even if it means carving off my own armor when I get there./ The call is that compulsive.

The small copse of trees I've been traveling through gives way to the base of the mountain. I don't see any roads nearby, so I leap at the mountain, dig my claws in, and begin to climb the roughly thousand feet to my goal. Roughly three hundred feet up, my first obstacle comes and goes in a rush of wind.

-fwoosh- /What was that, a pegasus?/ I ignore it and continue climbing.

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five minutes later

/Yep, that was a pegasus./ A large, spherical shield has warped into existence around Canterlot. Taking a moment to study it, my common sense tells me I highly doubt it's going underground, and it probably takes a lot of energy to maintain. /Time to dig! ~I ain't a dwarf and I'm digging a hole, diggy diggy hole~/ I sink my claws into the mountain and start quickly ripping the rock and soil out to form a tunnel, which I heave myself into.

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Up in Canterlot Castle, Shining Armor's office

-knock knock-

“Enter.” The armored pegasus messenger enters the office, letting the door click gently shut behind him. “Report.”

The pegasus takes a deep breath and drops the bombshell. “The beast is digging into the mountain to bypass the shield. It's a lot smarter than you'd expect from the way it looks. We've already sent a  team of three to flush it out if possible, and to redirect it if not.”

“Who ordered the team in? The idea and applicants should have been run by me first to gain my approval.” Shining Armor said

“Princess Luna, sir. She's taken a major interest in this beast, thanks to your sister 's reports to Princess Celestia. Supposedly, it's escaped Twilight twice, and you know how powerful she is, sir.” Shining nods his head absently, thinking. A few minutes pass like this, until the pegasus begins shifting from hoof to hoof nervously.

“Orders, sir?” The captain jumps in surprise and being suddenly reminded that the messenger is still there.

The unicorn blinks and says, “Well, even though I cannot overturn a direct order by the Princess of the Night, I can still order patrol squads about Canterlot to keep order when the beast eventually surfaces. Not that I have no faith in the team's skills, it's that I believe that the monster will simply ignore them in favor of getting away. It wouldn't go to so much trouble to come here unless it has a reason.”

“Will that be all sir?” The pegasus shifts his wings slightly, ready to deliver the message.

“Yes, you are dis-” The pegasus is out the door and gone before the words have even left his superior officer's mouth.

“Always so eager to please, wish there were more like him running messages.” Shining Armor laughs to himself.

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Inside the mountain, one hundred feet below Canterlot

I'm climbing the wall of a large, honeycombed cavern nearly covered in crystals, each glowing with an inner light at various intensities. Every time I lift myself up, I have to rip crystals away from the wall in front of me and drop them to the ground to clear my way up to a hole in the ceiling. /I like this cavern. I could sleep here. Hell, I'll move here if possible./ My musing to myself is interrupted by a soft flapping, followed by a pleasant voice right next to my ear. The wording is not so pleasant.

“Hello monster. If you would just drop back down the wall where we can detain you, that would be nice. Will you comply?”

I turn to look at the armored pegasus guard hovering next to me, a smile even more pleasant than her voice upon her face. I shake my head and point straight up. The pegasus sighs and drops her happy attitude.

“No, I'm afraid we can't let you go that way unescorted. This is your only warning. Let go of the wall and come peacefully or we will use force.” /I don't think so. I'd rather do THIS-/

Pausing in my climb I growl and snatch the flying pest out of the air, eliciting a high-pitched shriek from her, before taking hold of her armored barrel in my mouth- /she tastes like a mix of peas and carrots, and her armor tastes like a piece of brass... I love how many random pointless details I notice!/- pinning her wings down and orienting her legs to point the direction I'm going. She immediately starts thrashing around, so I bite down just a little bit harder to remind her just exactly what situation she's in, and she stops moving, but she throws me a glare to show how displeased she is at me throwing her diplomacy right back at her face. I wink at her and begin climbing again, before again being interrupted, this time by a magic missile impacting my backside. I rotate around on my wall like a spider, and look down for the unicorn who fired.

-bzatt!-

/Not one but two, what fun./ I growl at the aggressively postured unicorns and the pegasus giggles. I give her a look that clearly says “What the fuck have you got to laugh about?” The unicorns each fire once more, only drawing growls from me.

The pegasus giggles some more, then panics and shouts down to the unicorns, “Can you stop shooting it, guys? Every time you shoot it, it growls, and every time it growls, it tickles! Besides, if it wanted me hurt it would have done so by now! I don't want it changing its mind because you both are terrible shots!”

The unicorns look at each other and shrug, a very awkward-looking motion on a quadruped. They both quickly return their aim to me and fire simultaneously, both shots harmlessly striking me in the arm that I preemptively held up to protect the pegasus from the not-so-friendly fire.

“You guys suck, you know that? That would have hit me! What's wrong with you?! Hey! Where are you going? I'm not done yelling at them yet!” I had turned back upwards and begun climbing again as she spoke. I inhale deeply through my nose, and growl, sending the pegasus into twitchy spasms of laughter.

“Haaaahahahahhaeheheahahehhehehestoppihihihihihitt!” I stop, just to inhale again. In the light of the crystals in the tunnel, I see her pupils shrink to almost nothing as she whispers “No, no more...”

I grin evilly as best I can with a mouthful of armored pegasus. /This is going to be hilarious./

“GRRRRRRRRR!”

“HAHAHAHASTOPPIIIIIT!”

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Back down in the cavern Mundo just vacated

The two unicorns were at a loss for what to do when the beast carried their fellow guard, laughing all the way, through the ceiling.

“Any bright ideas, Short Fuse?” The first unicorn said.

“Yeah, just one,” Short Fuse replied.

“Lay it on me.”

“Remember that spell I cast when you wanted to cosplay as Spider-Mane?”

“Yeah.... Oh! Oh. I get it now. Follow the beast?”

“Darn straight.”

Short Fuse's horn lights up and they both start walking up the wall as quickly as they can.

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Back with Mundo and the ticklish pegasus, about twenty feet below Canterlot Mane Street

“Are you going to let me go anytime soon? Two grunts for no, one for yes.” We've hit the end of the tunnel I climbed up into, and I'm tuning out the pegasus somewhat. I grunt as I start digging into the stone, extending my spines to the wall and shutting my eyes as I begin.

“Ugh, ptoo. Watch where you're knocking those stones!” I roll my closed eyes at the pegasus. I can feel/hear ponies walking about above me,  the vibrations tell me it's cobblestones they're walking on. I continue digging upward.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?!” I grunt twice. “Ugh, you are infuriating! Wait, is that light?”

I open my eyes and look up. Sure enough, there's light. I've hit street level. I remove the pegasus from my mouth and clutch her in my left claw, bursting up through the cobbles and landing next to the hole I've made. I clamp the pegasus back in my mouth, ignoring her shouted “Whoa!” and begin hauling ass toward the castle. Whatever's calling me is extremely close now, and inside that castle! I growl in excitement, forgetting that the pegasus in my mouth was ticklish.

“WHYHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHAHAHAHA!”

Instantly, there are guards swarming around me. I blast through them and keep moving toward the castle.

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Canterlot Castle Gate

Various guardsponies are standing on top of the wall around the castle, facing Mane Street, where a messenger had just alerted them the beast had appeared and was closing fast. The gate has already been closed and barred. A shout went up along the left side.

“There it is!”

Sure enough, the beast was rumbling straight toward them and had a pegasus in its mouth, as reported. The unicorns charge up their horns but hold their fire. The beast looks up at them as it runs, and starts growling loudly, sending the pegasus in its mouth into twitching paroxysms of laughter.

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Mundo's POV

Running along Mane Street, I devote some brainpower to analyzing my new surroundings and the path ahead, along with the massive gate. /Okay, I won't be able to bust THAT door down, it's almost guaranteed to be reinforced and enchanted. The only way in is to go under, and I doubt they haven't prepared for that, or I can go over.... idea!/

I spit the laughing pegasus to the side, leaving her spasming there in the grass and ignoring her startled cry of “Hey!” as I increase my speed even further, pushing my limits. The instant the pegasus leaves my mouth, the unicorns unload their magic on me, not doing a thing to me even though every single hit is a direct hit. I can feel the energy just rolling off of me as I will myself to keep going. /One hundred feet to the gate..... eighty.... sixty... fifty... forty!....thirty-five!...Thirty! NOW!/ I give a little hop and flip forward, driving my fists into the ground with a loud crack, and pushing as hard as I physically can as I rotate forward.

I fly into the air, armored rear first, and clear the wall with inches to spare, rolling into a ball on my way. /I'm no Asura, but that was awesome. Again, I wish I had a camera. Their faces are priceless, I'll bet. No time to check, gotta keep moving. The call is even stronger here./

My balled-up form slams into the ground and I quickly unroll, using my momentum to fling myself forward and into the castle proper.

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back on the wall

Everypony's jaw is comically slack at what has just happened. Some ponies are getting to their hooves from where they dived out of the way of the airborne beast.

“What just happened?” A pegasus asks.

“That monster just punched itself over the wall, that's what happened,” a unicorn snarks.

Everypony present shares a panicked glance at their nearest neighbor, before they all shout in unison,

“WE GOTTA STOP THAT THING!”

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Canterlot Castle

The call is so strong now, it's giving me explicit instructions. /I'm guessing it's Discord. The commands are in his voice, after all./

/Turn left./ I swing left around a suit of armor and keep running. Guard patrol. They all form up defensively and I barrel through regardless.

/Go up the stairs./ I comply and take them four at a time all the way up the spiral and begin hurtling down the corridor I end up in.

/Blast that door down./ -grehk-KAHzzzt- Large double door with gold inlay goes flying open, dangling from the hinges.

/Now, TACKLE THE BLUE PONY AND HUG HER/ “Who dares interrupt- gurk!” I'm hugging a slender blue pony with wings and a horn. Random? Yes. Am I done yet? No. I leave the hyperventilating pony laying there on her throne as I hear more orders in my head.

/Run back out, take a right./ I slide somewhat on the tiles on the turn, but regain my grip and dash as fast as I can without slipping and falling on my face.

/Slide up the railing to the next floor./ I do so somehow, avoiding a now seriously weirded-out guard patrol.

/Burst through that door and hug the pony inside. Celestia knows she needs one./ -CRASH- “What in Eques-” I slam into the large white pony with flowing rainbow hair, wings, and a horn, driving her off of her seat, sending both of us sliding into the wall, with me impacting first, and hug her. Suddenly, laughter. The white pony looks over her shoulder and sighs.

“Discord, is this your doing?” The white pony is wearing a shiny golden crown, why didn't I notice this before? I love shiny things. I continue my hug, getting an awkward pat on the shoulder in return.

“Why yes, Celestia, this creature is my doing. His actions, however, are not.” Discord shrugs to sell the half-truth. “I don't know what has caused him to act like this, but I don't mind a little chaos now and again, as you have banned me from doing any major chaos outside of my personal pocket dimension, remember?” He snaps his fingers and a treadmill appears, which he begins pacing on while the treadmill itself paces backwards in circles around Celestia and I.

“So the creature is acting like this on his own, yet was created by you? Discord, I thought we agreed that you would not do something like this...”

/You can let go now, I'm done. If I need something else funny done I'll let you know. You've certainly made MY day./ I stop hugging the pony and step back, only to trip over a random coffee table and fall into the corner. I hit the floor hard enough to shake the room. My legs are still comically propped over the desk, as is my tail.

“Are you okay there, my friend?” I lift up one claw and wave at them to show I'm fine, before letting it flop down next to my tired body again. Suddenly, a lot of clopping hooves registers on my brain.

“Princess Celestia, are you injured?” The guards have arrived. What fun.

“No, I am thankfully not injured. Our large friend here may need some rest, however...” She gestures to me. I sit up and wave tiredly. The guards recoil nervously and raise their weapons, leap into the air to hover, or light up their horns in preparation to attack me or defend themselves and Celestia. The leader of the squad gulps.

“Princess, that....thing.... has injured half of our number, left a giant hole in Mane Street and caused  thousands of bits in property damage, both here and in Ponyville. I personally do not consider it a friend, especially if it is a creation of Discord.”

“And what are the extent of the injuries, diligent guardspony?” Discord has somehow fitted himself into a snazzy business suit (with banana-patterned pajama pants) and is wearing oversized star-shaped sunglasses, as well as pulling an angry-looking paper duck and a sheet of rubber out of thin air. The treadmill crumbles into nothing as he floats off of it and gets right in the guard's face without him noticing.

“Every single one is bruised where the beast struck them or on what they landed on after said impact. There are at least three concussions and we have one pegasus laughing uncontrollably, though I don't know how he managed that. She'll stop giggling until someone mentions the beast and she goes into fits of laughter again. I think she was the pegasus he carried in his mouth when he was running along Mane Street to the castle gate.”

“But there are no broken bones or major lacerations,” Discord concluded.

“None. Wait, why are you, of all ponies, asking about injuries?” the guard asks in confusion.

“If there were no major injuries, this means he was trying not to hurt anypony.” Celestia realizes she voiced her thoughts, reminding everypony present that she is indeed there.

Suddenly, there is a flash of light and the other pony I hugged appears on my head.

“Dear sister, have you seen a heavily armored monster that is prone to random acts of affection, such as hugs?” Celestia nods and smiles serenely. Discord gets a huge, snaggletoothed grin, and the guards are discreetly motioned out of the room by the solar princess as she responds. “He has been here, I would suggest looking for him. He has hidden himself well, Luna, but you should be able to see him from where you stand.” Celestia slightly stresses the last three words. Discord and I catch it but Luna does not.

I start making funny faces as Celestia's sister starts looking around the room for me, still not stepping down from my head. Each one makes Discord's face turn redder and redder until he stuffs his talon hand, balled into a fist, into his mouth to choke off the laughter just continually bubbling inside. The blue pony looks at him concernedly from atop my head.

“Art thou in pain, Discord?” Discord shakes his head and continues shaking in barely contained mirth. Celestia continues smiling that slightly mischievous smile of hers. I slowly raise one claw and slowly lift it behind Luna's head to give her 'bunny ears'. Discord chokes off another laugh and Celestia finally decides that enough is enough.

“Look down, sister Luna, before our friend decides you don't work very well as a hat.” Discord finally fails to contain his laughter and falls over, laughing fit to burst. I quickly return my claw to my side.

Luna looks down as I look up. “Oh. I must apologize, I seem to have been using you as a podium of sorts.” I grunt. She leaps down from my head and walks over to her sister. They nuzzle and start making boring small talk for a minute or two, nothing important, in my opinion. Luna turns to look at Discord, still laughing his ass off. I sigh and lay down, head on forearms.

“Do you think Discord will be alright if we leave him there,” she asks. Celestia nods, still smiling gently. “Shall we let the guards know that the creature is nonaggressive?”

“Please do, Luna, there are a few small details I must deal with before I join you.” Luna nods and teleports from the room. Celestia blinks and turns to me.

“Now then, creature, do you have a name?” I nod. “Very well then, tell me.” I shrug. “Please don't be like that, tell me your name.” I sigh. By this point, Discord has finally calmed down enough to step in for me.

“Now now, my friend, I gave you the ability to talk for a reason. Go on, tell her.” I angle my head up and scratch at my throat before shrugging. Discord smacks himself in the forehead with his lion paw. “It faded, didn't it.” It wasn't a question. I nod anyway. He turns to Celestia. “Well, he goes by the name Mundo. Personally, I'd rather he had something else.”

“Mundo? Really?” Her royal facade falls away and she looks at me, making a face. “Well, we could address you as such, but Discord is not the only one entitled to opinions. I would like to name you myself, as I feel we will become good friends, but I have a feeling you would not accept it. You are not a pet, after all, but a sapient being. Therefore, I ask you to come up with a name yourself, something dignified, if possible.”

I scratch my chin and think. /Now that I think about it, Mundo works better as a nickname. What to call myself.... no, not Armordillo... not Bulwark.... not Giantdad, that's silly, but the legend never dies.... something to do with electricity or power in some way would work....no....no....no....idea!no....no.... maybe.... no.... IDEA./

I wave in Discord's face to get his attention, as he's busy doing a Cat's Cradle with old shoelaces and spaghetti. He snaps his tangled talons and a pencil erupts from my right nostril. Sharpened end first. I grab a piece of parchment laying on the ground nearby, pull the pencil out of my shnozz and write my 'dignified' name as best I can. The pencil vanishes when I tap Celestia on the shoulder, bringing her out of her trance of staring at what Discord's doing and pass her the parchment. /I hope she can read that, not just because it's practically chicken scratch but because I still don't know if we have the same written language. I haven't stolen any books.... yet./

“Is this truly what you wish to be called?” She asks seriously. I nod firmly. Discord waves and suddenly vanishes in a whirl of color, to do Discord Things, Discord Style.

“Very well then, allow me be the first to tell you something I am certain you have not yet heard. As your creator, Discord, failed to say it, and Pinkie Pie of Ponyville usually performs such duties, I thus take it upon myself to right this injustice done of you and say...”

She smiles and spreads her wings gracefully.

“Welcome to Equestria, Teravolt. If you were a pony, that would be a wonderful name.” I return the smile with a grin and give a rumbling cheer. Her grin vanishes and her eyes lose their soft glow, and she puts up the regal veil she had dropped earlier, closing her wings with a sharp snap. “Now, about that large hole you left in Mane Street...”

I groan. /There goes my hope she'd forget about that./

My grumbling is cut off by a familiar voice shouting, “There it is, girls! It's in Princess Celestia's room!” I turn to see a brightly colored rainbow beam, followed by PAIN, and that's all I know before I get blasted off my feet and through the wall. As my vision goes dark, I see large bony plates coming off of me -my armor plates- and dissolving in the beam of energy before I lose consciousness completely with a loud thud.