Cousin Vinyl

(Thank You to Im the Number 4 for editing)

"She cleans them with... Wubs..."

Twilight Sparkle

Happy

   That is how I felt on this particular day, it was Sunday, the library was neat and orderly and no disasters had happened this week. Spike was napping, I was reading, and everything was, dare I say; peaceful. Oh but I'm getting ahead of myself, let me introduce myself before I tell you this tale, I am Twilight Sparkle, personal student of Princess Celestia,caretaker of the Golden Oaks Library and the Element of Magic. I've been living in Ponyville for three years studying the magic of friendship for the princess and I couldn't be happier!

Now as I was saying, I was busying myself with a book, ‘The Many Creatures of the forest and you!’, minding my own business and taking down notes when a loud belching noise caught my attention. I assumed it was just the princess sending in a thank you letter for one of the many reports I had sent her about the trip Crystal Empire, but my assumption was cut down like an oak tree at the mercy of a lumber-ponie’s axe when Spike read the leader aloud in a groggy tone of voice.

Hiya Cousin!

Oh no, oh please no, no Celestia it can't be, how'd she get Spike's spell frequency?!

Its me Vinyl Scratch, How Ya doin? I'm doing great! DJ gig is doing well and Tavi's good, I'm just writing to tell ya that I'll be coming down to Ponyville for a visit.

Auntie Velvet told me that nopony has been down to visit you and that I should go, and since the gig at Little Shiny’s wedding gave me so many bits to splurge (Princess Luna loved my music so much she gave me a bonus!), I finally have the free-time to do it!

Aunty told me that I should ask you for a place to stay and told me to send a letter in advance in order to give you, as she put it, "enough time to prepare". So how bout it Twily? Mind if Ol' Vinyl comes down and stays with you for about a week or two? It'll be just like old times! I should be down there in two days!

Signed

Vinyl "DJ-Pon3" Scratch

PS. Shiny gave me the spell to send messages to Spike, he thought I should keep in touch with you.

Spike looked over at me as he rolled the scroll back up, looking confused and asked, "Vinyl is coming to stay with us?". He must have noticed the look on my face and sighed "I'll get the fire extinguishers....all of them." he grumbled as he turned to do his job, Celestia bless the little guy.

As Spike went about grabbing all of our fire extinguishers I sat in stunned silence, (I'm pretty sure my eye was twitching) Vinyl Scratch? coming to live in my Library, for a WEEK?!

   You may all be wondering two things during this crashing of my psyche, “why is this a big deal?” And “wait a minute Twilight you're related to a famous DJ?” Well let me just feed two parasprites with one cobbler, Yes, I am related the the famous Vinyl Scratch, or DJ-Pon3 as her fans call her.

She is my Uncle Starlight's daughter, Starlight is my mother’s younger brother, and she is older than Shining Armor by a week and thus calls him Little Shiny. The reason this is such a big deal is because, we don't get along very well, I love her to death don't get me wrong! She's my cousin for the moon’s sake! But the reason we don't get along is because she and I are as opposite as Applejack and Rarity.

She is uproarious, impulsive, relatively lazy, and she treats and cares for her music like it was a filly that needed constant love and attention.

I mean seriously who could ever love something that wasn't alive as much as that!?

I finally snapped out of my trance like state when Spike knocked on my head like a door, he looked at me with a questioning stare "You just questioned how somepony could love something as much as Vin loves her music didn't you?" he crossed his arms over his torso waiting for an answer.

I waved my hoof dismissively at his creepy, yet accurate accusation. "Pff, No Spike. I was merely thinking of how I'm going to handle this." I lied with probably the worst fake smile ever, because Spike wasn't buying it.

"Ya sure Twi, just try not to be a hypocrite," he grumbled. "We all know how much you love your books." He turned around and began placing fire extinguishers around all of the bookshelves, muttering to himself "Just because I burn one book she decides to get fifty of these stupid things...".

How Spike knew what I was thinking is still a mystery to me. I shook it off and decided to dwell on it later. I then looked back at Spike and said "I'm going to go tell the girls about Vinyl, you finish up and don't forget to feed Pee Wee." I turned and left before Spike could reply. I walked through Ponyville determined to get to my destination, Sweet Apple Acres, I had only one thought in my head at the time 'This was going to be a long week.'

I continued down the road, thinking about what I was going to do about Vinyl, when I noticed Applejack who was, as usual, hard at work bucking apples. "Well howdy Twilight!" Applejack yelled over to me, wiping the sweat off her brow. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

I smiled at her, Applejack would know how to handle this! After all she has cousins she can't stand, like Braeburn,she could give me some tips or maybe a list of things to do when Vinyl gets here!

"Hi Applejack, I'm just coming by to ask you a question and also to get some more apples if that is okay?" She eyed me for a second and then smiled her cheerful smile

"Why of course Twilight, why don't ya'll just come with me and I'll set you up with some fresh bucked apples and we can talk." She turned, picked up the full basket of apples and trotted towards the barn; I followed eagerly hoping she had an answer to my problem.

After we made it to the barn Applejack set down the basket and turned to face me. "Alright just pick out a couple of apples from this here bushel and tell me what's on ya mind Twilight." Applejack said sitting down

I used my magic to inspect the apples as I tried to explain my situation to her, "Umm well you see, I have a cousin..."

Applejack cut me off with a chuckle, "Another relative you ain't mentioned to us?"

I glared back at her. "I already said I was sorry for not mentioning Shining Armor to you all, what more could you want!" I shouted maybe a bit too loudly since Applejack backed away a bit defensively.

She raised her hoofs. "Calm your cows down Twi, I was just joking with ya, now as you were saying?" She smiled and I sighed continuing my explanation.

"Well, this cousin of mine is pretty famous, she is a DJ and...." I would have finished but Applejack decided to cut me off again but this time it was with a guess not a joke.

“Its that fancy Dj-Pon3 lady ain't it." She deadpanned.

I just looked at her for a good few minutes and finally spoke, "Wha...buh....HOW!?!" I stuttered in surprise.

"Well other than the fact that you just confirmed my guess, you said she was a DJ and knowing you the only DJ you'd be related too would be the most fancy and well known one that everypony and their in-laws listen to. Not to mention that she didn't mind at all that you had taken the microphone during that wedding and sang a song for your brother. If she wasn't a relative she would have made you pay for the song; that and she has the same mane and coat color as Shining Armor and she had given him a hug when he left for his Honeymoon." she said that as a fact, not a joke, she looked more annoyed now than I'd seen her before. "And you want my help and know how on how to deal with her, correct?"

I just sat there thinking one thing, 'darn it to the sun Applejack, are you a mind reader or something!' I opened my mouth to say something when Applejack spoke again.

"Yes, Twilight ah’m a mind reader." she still looked serious, oh by the sun and moon she was serious! She started to smile and I knew she was kidding,"Twilight word of warning, you have a look in your eyes when your about to go into full on panic mode, and the fact that you mentioned she was a DJ helped; I mean seriously how many other DJ's do we know!"

'I do not have a look when I'm going into "panic mode"' I thought, and frowned.

"Anyway Twilight, I don't rightly know what the big deal is. Whenever Braeburn or some other member of the Apple clan comes over I just treat them like I treat Macintosh and Applebloom." She paused and looked out to the orchard beyond

"I know that him and I don't see eye to eye on most issues, like how to treat the tree's and what not, but I love him the same. My advice to you Twi is to just treat her like you treat your Ma and Pa, and only hope she don't blow up the library." She smiled, "or comes onto any of yer friends"

I looked at her with a look that could only be described as a "What the buck are you talking about?" look, why would Vinyl come onto anyone of my friends? She was already dating Octavia!

Applejack noticed the look I was giving her, "Ask Pinkie about it when you see her next Twi, even though she was drunk that girl has the memory of an elephant." she snorted

My eyebrow raised as if to question if the mare before me was lying, Pinkie Pie? Drunk? That shouldn't be possible since we made sure to remove all alcohol from our beverages in Ponyville.

I sighed "Is that all you can give me?" I asked desperately. "You must have some other advice for dealing with relatives that you don't share common ground with."

Applejack must have noticed the hopelessness in my eyes and just stood there frowning before talking again.

"I don't have anything to tell you Twi," she said and my spirits dropped, "But I think Rarity might know a bit more about this than I do, judgin’ how Sweetie n her never get along." She offered, instantly lifting my spirits. Of course! Rarity and Sweetie Belle don't see eye to eye on anything! Why hadn't I gone to them first!?

"Thanks AJ, how much do I owe you for the Apples?" I asked looking around for my wallet but then remembered I left it at home....with Spike. I frowned but AJ just kept on smiling.

"Aw shoot Twilight you don't need to pay me, you're like part of the family!" She grinned. "Plus you're gonna need as much food as possible if'n ya gonna keep that cousin oh yours sober and out of everyponies mane." I faced hoofed and she laughed.

I thanked her for the apples and left for home my mind was reeling at what I could do to figure out how to handle my delinquent cousin,when I realized something very important as my library came into my line of sight.....The ground was shaking and the sound of heavy bass music was emanating from my humble home. My eyes widened and I forced myself to run to the door, using my magic I yanked the door off of its hinges and threw it aside like a rag doll. I then remember raising my voice to a level that would have made Luna proud and shouted "WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA'S GOLDEN BEARD ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!!"

The sound of a needle scratching halted the music and everypony turned to face me, my breathing was the only thing that could be heard as the pony with tinted glasses and spiky blue hair smiled at me, then waved at me and said:

"Hey Twilight! Cool party right?" It was at that moment I proceeded to black out.