And Suddenly, I'm Fluttershy

Day One: Hallucinations

Bartholomew

What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough; for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.

-Pedro Calderon de la Braca

Right, well, if you are reading this, then I have not eaten some bad fish, but rather have had my world turned upside down. Or I turned someone else's world upside down. Or both. In hindsight, probably both.

Anywho, I'm rambling again. Or for the first time really. Or... Let's just say its a long story. A really long story. I mean, grab a snack and a drink, this one's a doozy. While you're at it, you might want to take a restroom break. Oh and caffeine. Lots of caffeine. I'm rambling again aren't I?

Anyway, basics first. My name is Bartholomew Roberts. Before you ask, no you can't call me Bart. Yes, I know Bartholomew is a mouthful. No, I don't care. No one calls me Bart. I'm 23 years old. I live in Houston, Texas. (It's a bit of a problem too, everyone 'round these parts, as the locals say, wants to call me Bart. I mean seriously, my names not that long, is it? But I digress. Again.)

I am a student at University of Houston, taking Psychology, specifically Behavioral Neuroscience. I know, you were expecting Psychiatry, most likely Freudian, but tough luck. Personally though, as a student, and not a proper expert, I think Freud was absolutely bonkers. I probably am too, though, so I shouldn't be one to talk. Or should I, considering... Stop it brain, you're going of track again. Where was I? Ah, yes, why I'm writing. Well the answer to that is fairly simple; I think I ate some bad fish, and am now suffering the effects that bad fish have on dreams. Or I've gone bonkers. Well, more bonkers than usual, I guess.

I am writing to you from a small town called Ponyville. Yes, I am aware of the silliness of the name. Sadly the locals are not. As for how I got here, my money's still on the fish, because the last thing I remember before winding up in Candyland here is taking a dump. Yes, I'm serious. At a fairly important occasion, at that, the occasion being my brother announcing that he's engaged. I was the only one that was shocked, though. I blame not being able to read body language, at least not consciously. No, I don't have Asperger's. Well, I've never been properly diagnosed, at least. And now back to the fancy dinner party.

After relieving myself and washing my hands, I walked out the restroom door, and into a bed. 'Twas quite comfortable too. Yes I said 'twas, get used to it. If you haven't already figured out that I'm an odd one, I pity you. Back to the matter at hand, though. Or at hoof I suppose. Yes you heard me right, "At hoof". More on that in a minute.

Anyway, I found myself in a bed. Or rather THE bed. I mean, seriously, this is probably the best bed ever made. Of all time. No buts. Well, the bed was pink and had large butterflies on it, but that was about it in the way of negatives. Actually, now that I think about it, if I can bring this mattress back with me, I will. Not wind nor rain nor snow nor hail can keep me from this mattress and it's extreme comfort. That's how good it is.

So I found myself in a bed. Well, to put it frankly, I was confused. Very confused. As cliche as it is, if you were to look up confused in a dictionary, I would be there with a goofy look on my face and my trademarked hair, with bits sticking out here and there. I swear that hair'll be the death of me, just you wait. Well, if the fish doesn't get me first. Or the rambling.

Anyway, I was in a comfortable bed, with no idea how I got there and no idea what on earth was happening. So I did the first thing that came into my head. I struggled to get out of the bed. And failed. Miserably. Well, sort of. I got out of bed, but I became hopelessly tangled in the comforter. Lovely.

It took me absolute ages to get out of that comforter. It felt like ages, at least, though it was probably around forty seconds. Judging by the clock on the bedside table, forty seconds seemed more likely. So I stood up, or rather, tried to stand up. Yeah that didn't turn out well at all. That's when I received the biggest shocker of my life.

I was no longer human. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Bartholomew's gone and lost his mind!' if you were thinking that, you're probably right. You're such a smart person, have a cookie and all that. So yeah, not human. I did the only thing any sensible person would do in this situation. I snarked.

"Must've eaten some bad fish."

I pause for a moment, "Is that my voice?" I asked myself. Judging by the fact that my second question came out in the same ridiculously high voice as my earlier snarking, I assumed yes.

I know what you're thinking, my top priority once I find myself in a non-human body is how silly its voice is. Worst priority ever, right? Wrong. Due to the nature of my voice's high pitch, I deduced that I was female. Great.

"I really don't want to check," I muttered, slowly sliding my hoof towards  my nether regions.

"Lovely. Just lovely," I said. 'Twas as I feared, I was now female.

"So not only am I no longer human, I am also female," I said to myself.

While bringing my hoof back up, I noticed something else interesting. My forelimb (at least I think that's what you call it) was bending in ways that  forelimbs never should. Either this was normal for whatever I was now, or my new foreleg was seriously damaged. I hoped  for the former.

I couldn't just stay in an awkward heap on the floor, so I tried to stand up. It was easier than I expected, although I expected near impossibility, so that wasn't saying much. A few curses and falls later, I managed to keep myself righted for long enough to observe my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was a white rabbit staring at me intently.

"What?" I asked him. Now, talking to small animals is probably not a good sign as far as my sanity was concerned, but I did that back home all the time, so it wasn't too out of character for me. What was odd, however, was the fact that the rabbit answered back. Yes you heard me right. The rabbit answered back.

"You seem to be having a lot of trouble standing up, are you all right, Fluttershy?"

"What."

"Fluttershy?"

"Did you just talk?"

"OK, I'm getting Twilight now," he said. With that he scampered off, presumably to get "Twilight", whatever that was. Hopefully not the book or the movie, because that would be bad. Very bad.

Now for phase two of operation FOWIA; walking. What's FOWIA, you may ask. It's an acronym... Oh, you wanted to know what it stands for. It stands for Find Out Where I Am. As for the walking itself, it took ages to get down, and by ages, I mean more like ten minutes.

All I could say after getting to the bathroom and looking in the mirror was one word, one simple word;

"What."

To say that I was at a loss for words would be quite accurate.

"What," I repeated.

In the mirror was a sort of horsey creature with a rather large head relative to its body, and massive eyes compared to the rest of the head. Another thing I noticed was that my coat was bright yellow. Lastly my hair (or is it mane?) was pink. Yes pink. Not only do I change genders, but my hair is pink. Et tu Subconscious?

Overall, I hate to say it, but it was cute. D'aww cute, not attractive cute. Save the eyes. Those were my eyes staring back at me. Well, other than the fact that they were huge.

Nonetheless, there were more pressing matters to attend to then my appearance. Like finding out where I was, and why I was a.... come to think of it, I didn't know what I was anymore. Well, other than crazy.

As I turned around, I noticed something else odd. Actually, more than odd. Downright impossible, really. What did I notice? Wings.

"What," I repeated again. OK this is excessive. Not only have I become... Wait I know! Equine! That's what it's called, horse wasn't quite right. Took me awhile, there. Anywho, not only am I now an equine, I am also a female with pink hair and wings. Wings. Does that mean I'm a Pegasus? Weird.

I stretched out my wings (Its odd having six limbs. Well, more than odd, really, mostly because it felt so natural, to the point where I hadn't noticed them before.)

"Wingspan about... Eh, six feet. I'm not a physicist, but I'm pretty sure that that won't fly, not without hollow bones, at least," I said to myself.

Lovely. On top of all that, I probably can't fly. I turned to go again, and again I noticed something odd.

"I don't even..." I sighed. This was just too much. There was a picture of three butterflies on my butt. Or flank, I guess. Either way, this was getting ridiculous. Or, more so than previously, I suppose.

"That's it, I'm crazy, there's no way my subconscious would do this to me if I was sane," I said. Then again, when was I sane? Don't answer that.

I managed to get out of the door of the bathroom before anything else crazy happened. That's right, I managed to move about two meters without further insanity. I deserve a cookie. What happened? More animals. Tons more, all crowding around me, staring and quietly muttering amongst themselves.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively.

The chattering stopped immediately. I mean like, pure silence. Other than breathing, of course.

I inhaled loudly and asked "What?"

A few more seconds of awkward silence passed before a badger asked "You alright?"

I screamed. All girly too. I know, I neared the rabbit talk earlier, but I thought that I was just delusional. Well, considering the badger, I probably still was.

The animals looked at me oddly again. "Angel said that you were acting a bit oddly, I guess he was right," he said, more to himself and the other animals than me.

"I have a question," I said tentatively.

"What is it?" the badger replied.

"Do you guys always talk, or is it only on Thursdays?"

"Yep, something's wrong. Very wrong," he said before running off. The other animals followed him.

Evidently something was wrong. I wonder why.

"Enough sarcasm, I'm starving," I said, and proceeded to get lost trying to find the kitchen. I think I passed the bathroom six times. At least my sense of direction (or lack thereof) was still intact.

It took ages to find the kitchen, at least it felt like ages. The clock in the kitchen told me that I had been in this body for about twenty minutes, meaning that I had been lost for, oh, I don't know, maybe five minutes-ish? Doesn't matter.

I got to the kitchen  and came to a halt. For one, there were animal bowls everywhere, which made a little sense, considering all the animals in this place. The second thing was much more important. How was I supposed to open the pantry without hands? Before I could figure out how to accomplish such a task, I heard knocking on the door.

"Fluttershy? Are you in there?" I heard a muffled voice through the door.

I panicked for about ten seconds.

"Fluttershy?" she asked again.

"Go away I'm busy!" I yelled.

"Fluttershy, I'm coming in!"

"You'll have to call again! I'm-I'm, uh, I'm n-not dressed properly!" Nice going me, way to make it as unsuspicious as possible. Is unsuspicious a word? I doubted it, but there were more important things to do than ponder the nature of a word. Things like hiding.

I heard the door open, and I ran, or rather, tried to. I also managed to get lost again. Great.

"Fluttershy!"

Oh no, she (it sounded like a she) was gaining on me. I managed to put on some speed without murdering myself, and promptly ran into her when I turned the next corner. Of course.

"Oof!" she exclaimed. She picked herself up and loomed over me. 'Twas quite menacing, too.

"Fluttershy, is something wrong?"

In my dazed state, I could only come up with one reply,

"Who's Fluttershy?"

I immediately regretted my poor choice of words. In my defense, I was sprawled on the floor after running into another pony at high speeds. Still, no excusing my stupidity.

Said pony was slightly larger than me with a purple coat, a sort of purple-y navy-ish (both highly technical terms) mane with two stripes in it, one pink, one purple, and large purple eyes. The massive eyes were normal for this species, it seemed. Also, she had a horn sticking out of her forehead. I didn't have one of those. (Horn envy much? I still think Freud's bonkers, though.)

"You're Flutte- wait a minute..." she said.

Blast, I've been caught. Worst case scenario, I'm put in a madhouse for the rest of my life. Best case, someone figures out what happened and everything returns to normal. Well, normal for an insane behavioral neuroscientist. That is to say, only slightly less crazy than right now.

"You caught me, I'm not Fluttershy, whoever she is," I finally replied.

"Alright then, change back," she said.

"Change back?"

"Yes, change back! And tell me what you did with Fluttershy!" she yelled.

"I didn't do anything with her, I just walked out of a restroom and into someone else's body!" I said, raising my voice.

"Wait what?"

"I haven't figured it out myself," I replied.

"Wait, so you're not a changeling?"

"A what? What's a changeling?" There was a rather awkward silence after that.

After a few more seconds, she replied, "Well, I'm confused, and that's saying something, because I don't get confused very often."

"Join the club," I snarked.

"If you're not a changeling, then what are you?" she asked.

"I've been meaning to ask you that as well."

"You first."

"Very well, I am what one might call a human."

"And that is...?"

"Bipedal primate, low amounts of body hair and relatively large brains." I said, "And what of you?"

"You don't look like a bipedal primate to me."

I sighed, "Was a human, my mind has somehow wandered into this body."

Her eyes began to sparkle at that. 'Twas somewhat creepy how she looked at me, like I was a piece of fried fish. "How does that work, exactly, do you have telepathy, or.."

"It doesn't work, actually. At least, there are no recorded cases of such a phenomenon. If such a thing has happened before, then anyone it happened to would have been denounced as insane." I said.

Her ears drooped at that. "So, no telepathy?"

"'Fraid not," I said, "So, I shall ask again, what are you?"

"Unicorn Pony" she answered. So that was the name of these creatures. Ponies. It also seemed that unicorn meant the same thing in both worlds. Huh.

"I have another question, where am I?"

"You are in the nation of Equestria, more specifically the Western Plains Province, near the outskirts of a town known as Ponyville."

"I have yet another question."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Who came up with these names, anyways?"

"Different ponies for each name. Clover the-"

"That was a rhetorical question."

"Oh. Ok," she said, somewhat dejectedly. She finally spoke again, "Where are you from?"

"I was living in the city of Houston, Texas. Texas is one of the fifty states of a country called the USA."

"USA?"

"It's an acronym. It stands for United States of America."

"What kind of names are those? They're complete gibberish!"

"Touché"

She sighed at that. "So, if you're not Fluttershy, then who are you?" she finally asked.

"That is a very good question. I am Bartholomew Roberts, I am studying, or rather, was studying, behavioral neuroscience at the University of Houston. What's your name?"

"My name is Twilight Sparkle and-" I burst out laughing at that. "What is it?" she asked, looking somewhat flustered.

"That name." I barely managed to get out between bursts of laughter.

"I'll have you know that it's a highly respectable na-" I fell over and started rolling, laughing the whole time. " WILL YOU STOP IT?!?!" she exclaimed, her cheeks turning bright red.

"I'm sorry," I said, standing up, "Really sorry, it's just that that name has horrible connotations on my side of the metaphorical pond."

"What connotations, exactly?"

"You don't want to know."

"What!?!"

"You really don't want to know."

~~~Brief Transition~~~

We walked into Ponyville, talking about the similarities and differences between our worlds as we went.

"So you're saying that magic doesn't exist in your world?" she asked me.

"I'm saying that magic doesn't exist period," I replied.

"Then how do you raise the sun in the morning, or the moon at night?"

"What."

"How?"

I was struck dumb by this question. Raising the sun? How ludicrous is that! I thought for a moment, trying to figure out a way to explain basic celestial mechanics without patronizing her. Eventually, I came up with a reply.

"First of all, the sun and moon aren't raised, the earth revolves around the sun. The tilt in Earth's axis causes the seasons to change. The tilt stays in the same direction the whole ti-." No, that wasn't going to work. I thought for several seconds.

"Well?"

"Shhh, I'm thinking..... I've  got it! Say that you were looking at the solar system from this angle. The sun," I demonstrated with my left wing, curling the feathers into a ball. "Is right here, at the center. The Earth," I used my right wing, some of my feathers pointing to represent its axis, " is here, revolving around the sun. Notice how my feathers stay pointing in the same direction. Because of the tilt, some areas of the planet are getting more light than others. The areas with more light are experiencing summer, those with less light have winter.

As for the day/night cycle, the Earth is rotating on its own axis while revolving. The half facing the sun has daylight, the other half is having night."

"That's absurd! Everyone knows that the Earth is flat!"

"Do you have proof? Has anyone been to the edge of the world?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Well, this is awkward. Evidently, the world is flat. Imagine that.

It took me awhile to reply, "Even if the world is flat, the sun and moon shouldn't need raising. Who told you that nonsense?

"The princess, Celestia."

Well, at least I tried. Time for the last resort;

"It's just propaganda, the sun and moon don't need raising."

"Propaganda! As if the princesses would do such a thing!"

"Of course they would, if it keeps their parents, and by extension, them, in power, so long as nobody finds out, they're safe as rulers of a nation. After all, who would rebel against rulers who could control the very heavens?"

"While that is a good point, they really do control the sun and moon. And what do you mean by their parents, the princesses are the rulers."

"Really? The princesses are the rulers? Why is there no king?"

"I don't know, never thought it was important."

By this point, we had reached the library.

"I just thought of something, how are we talking to each other? The probability of us speaking the same language, in, based on my own observations as well well as what you've told me, what appears to be an entirely different universe, is ridiculously low. I mean, seriously, either someone needed some amusement, or I am delusional. You know what? That actually seems more likely."

"We can discuss this later, right now we need to inform the princesses of what's going on."

"That sounds all well and good, but we don't even know what's going on. Besides, I don't want the princesses near me, they might tune in to the fact that I don't approve of the current regime. Also, why have we stopped by a library? And how do you plan on opening that door? "

"You want proof of magic, well here it is," she said.

A strange lavender glow appeared around her horn, and around the handle of the door. Suddenly, the door opened.

"Spike! I'm home!" she called.

"Home? This is a public library! And how did you oped that door!?!"

"As for your first question, I live here. For the second, magic," she said, as if that explained everything.

"There's no such th- WHAT IS THAT?!?!" Ishouted as a small purple reptile walked into the room.

"That is Spike, he's my assistant."

"But what is he?" I asked, fear apparent in my voice.

"I'm a dragon. Sheesh Fluttershy, what's gotten into you? You're acting a bit weird. Come to think of it, you look slightly diffe- Flutters?"

I couldn't hear him over the sound of my now limp body hitting the floor.

~~~Later~~~

"Twilight! He's coming to!" Spike exclaimed.

"Could you keep it down?" I asked, "I've a terrible headache."

"What did I miss?" asked Twilight as she barged into the room.

"So much for that," I said. It was clear to me that they weren't going to be quiet.

I went over what happened. There was this thing, a small reptile. Actually, the same small reptile that was staring at me right now. Considering his expression, and the fact that neither I nor Twilight were dead yet, he was friendly.

"So..." Twilight said, "Let me introduce you to Spike. Spike, this is Bartholomew, Bartholomew, this is Spike,"

"Bartholomew? You look just like Fluttershy," Spike said.

"So I've noticed," I said. Does everyone really have to rub it in?

I continued, "And you are a dragon. I was pretty sure those didn't exist up until... How long have I been out?"

"About," Twilight checked the clock that was conveniently located on the wall behind her, "ninety minutes."

"I was pretty sure there were no such things as dragons until ninety minutes ago," I said, "Quite frankly, none of this should exist. Well, it probably doesn't, but I might as well go along with it."

I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye. A small white rabbit jumped onto the couch and proceeded to start pummeling me. Yes, you heard me correctly. It would have been hilarious if it didn't hurt so much.

"Stop!" I said.

"Tell me what you've done with Fluttershy!" the rabbit demanded.

"Getimoffme!" I yelled as Twilight levitated him away from me.

"Let me go you-"

"Calm down Angel, it's going to be all right," Twilight said.

"I'm not a child you fool!" Angel yelled, but his words didn't seem to have any effect on Twilight.

"You! The small white rabbit!" I said, failing to remember his name, "I don't think she can understand you," I said.

"What are you going on about?" asked Spike.

"I know she can't, you idiot, it means I can insult her endlessly, and she'll be none the wiser," the rabbit (Now I remember! Angel)  said with disdain.

"Ah, that makes much more sense," I replied.

"Are you talking to Angel?" asked Twilight.

"Of course he's talking to me you-"

"Such language! It's a wonder Fluttershy hasn't thrown you out already," I said. "Also, yes Twilight, I am talking to the rabbit."

"You can converse with animals? I always assumed they just liked Fluttershy, not that they actually talked to her," she marveled.

"I thought this was normal here! You're telling me that you lot can't talk to animals?" I was genuinely shocked at this turn of events. "You'd think that this sort of thing would be normal magical talking technicolor ponies."

"Why does that matter?" she asked confusedly.

"Nevermind, it's a cultural thing. What does matter is that this evening has gotten much stranger. Well, it's night now, I suppose, so I should probably be off, then."

"Yes, the animals are probably quite worried, I can't imagine what must be going through their heads," Twilight said.

"And take the furball with you," said Spike.

"Alright. Actually, how do I hold on to him?" I asked.

"I can walk!" Angel said indignantly.

"Nevermind that. Oh, before I'm off, you had best give me a map, I'm awful with directions."

"Ok, goodnight!" she said, giving me a map and hurrying me out the door. It seemed she didn't want me in her house. Probably because I'm insane, an alien, or, come to think of it, both.

Once I was out, I noticed that Angel was not with me. As I turned around to knock on the door, it opened and Angel flew into my face.

"OW!!!!!!!" I yelled.

The door opened again and Twilight's head stuck out with a sheepish look on her face. "Sorry!"

I turned to Angel, "So then, my fine furry friend, shall we go?"

"Yeah, I'm beat. Would you mind carrying me?" What on earth? He just said that he could walk.

"Yes, yes I would."

"Figures I'd get stuck with a-Hey! Wait up!" he yelled as he noticed that I'd started on my way.

"Come now Angel! I'm starving! I wonder, is there anything good at her house?"

It was quite chilly on the walk, then again, it was mid-December. Furthermore, having a map wasn't very useful in the dark. I know, I should have thought this through a bit better, but Angel knew the way, so I wasn't completely screwed. Still, I stumbled many times in the dark, compounded by my unfamiliarity with this new body. Speaking of which, I didn't know much about whose body I currently inhabited. Isn't that sad? After all this, I didn't know who I possessed. I decided that I'd find out.

"Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about Fluttershy."

He stopped for a moment, briefly surprised for my topic of conversation. He continued to walk after a short while. A long time passed in silence before he talked.

"She was just about the kindest being in existence. She helped everyone she could, and never asked anything in return. She took care of all of us, all of the creatures in and around Ponyville, including the animals living in the forest.

I remember one time, she stopped a whole family of ducks because the smallest of the was lagging behind. She the personally carried him the rest of the way, and when even more fell behind, she carried them, too. When I was very sick once, she sang me to sleep every night until I recovered. She went out of her way to make me extravagant meals when I refused to eat anything but the best. She never failed to do as I asked, wanting nothing in return. In short, she was a real angel. Not like me. I pushed her around, demanded more and more from her, and she just kept giving me what I asked for." He began to tear up. " I wish I could have apologized before..."

"Don't worry, thing will be back to normal, you'll see. I don't know how, or when, but she'll be back, and you can apologize then," I said. I only wished that I could believe my own words. This world has magic right? That'll fix it. Truthfully, I still thought I was hallucinating, but if I wasn't, well... I didn't know what to do. What if I never got back to my body? What then? Would I integrate? Or would I live as I used to, studying, hoping that I could get a job after school was finished? Come to think of it, I didn't know what Fluttershy did for a living.

"So, what did she do? What was her job?"

He collected himself before answering. "She would take care of animals. To make money, she cared for pets while their owners were away, as well as running a pet adoption service. Occasionally, ponies would ask her for help with unruly animals. Sometimes ponies would bring in animals for veterinary services, despite the fact that there is a proper vet in town."

"She was that good?"

"She can understand us, remember? Of course she had an edge over the vets."

"She seems like a really good person."

"Pony," he corrected.

"Being, then."

"Yeah, she was."

There was a long pause after that. I finally spoke.

"You know, it's a tradition to sing when you're feeling down back home."

"Really?"

"No, but I think it would help."

"What do you sing, then?"

"Well, Amazing Grace is a bit cliche, besides, I'm really not a fan. How about The Ashgrove?"

"I don't know it."

"Of course not, different universe," I said. "How abut I sing it then?"

"Go ahead."

After a brief time familiarizing myself with the new vocal chords, I began;

"The ash grove how graceful, how plainly 'tis speaking

The harp through its playing has language for me.

Whenever the light through its branches is breaking,

A host of kind faces is gazing on me.

The friends from my childhood again are before me

Each step wakes a memory as freely I roam.

With soft whispers laden the leaves rustle o’er me

The ash grove, the ash grove alone is my home."

         Let me tell you, that was weird. Singing in Equestria, that is. I heard violins while I was singing. Yes, I'm serious, music played while I sung. And I didn't sing out of tune, either. That in itself was a miracle.

There was a long silence, finally broken by Angel, "We're here."

~~~Inappropriately Humorous Transition~~~

As soon as we walked in, we were bombarded with questions.

"What happened?"

"What's going on?"

"Why were you gone so late?"

And so the din continued like that for a while. Finally, Angel broke the silence.

"QUIET!!!"

Al the animals immediately stopped talking.

"That's much better," said Angel. "We'll answer your questions as soon as we've had something to eat."

The animals immediately set to preparing food. Yes, I'm serious, the animals started cooking. Freaking Snow White, or something. Anywho, we were left to talk with only two other animals while dinner was being prepared.

"So Fluttershy, why have you been acting oddly since you woke up from your nap?" a badger asked. I recognized him as the same fellow that talked to me earlier.

"Bit up front, are we?" I asked.

"Well..."

"It's OK, but I'd much rather have everyone here to answer your questions."

"Of course."

Dinner arrived shortly afterwards. 'Twas quite good actually. They served some sort of vegetable soup for me, and an elaborate salad for Angel. After dinner I moved into the living room and settled in a chair. It was weird though, it looked like a human chair. Rather, it was a human chair, but that was what was so weird. You'd think ponies would have completely different chairs from people, but they don't. More fuel to the insanity fire, I suppose.

After settling in, I began to speak;

"Hello everyone! You're probably wondering what's going on here. Before we get this underway though, I'd like to tell everyone something quite simple. I am not Fluttershy."

There were murmurings in the crowd at these words.

"What d'you mean, you aren't Fluttershy?" one brave swallow asked.

"I mean, I'm an alien in her body."

"What!?!"

"See, it's simple; I am an alien that has possessed her body," the murmurings grew louder. "Before you murder me, no, this didn't happen intentionally. My species can't take over other creatures' bodies, or rather, they couldn't. Quite frankly, I am still wondering how this happened. Last I remember, I was at a party. I hope my body hasn't died, then I'll be stuck here, unless...

"No... Oh no, nononononononononononononononononono-"

"What is it?" Angel asked. I began to recite the Lord's Prayer. "What!?"

"On earth as it is in-" Angel slapped me. "OW!!!"

"WHAT IS IT?!?!"

I took a few moments to collect myself.

"I-I think that..."

"Well?"

"Fluttershy is in... my b-body."

The animals stared at me quizzically.

Finally the badger from earlier spoke up;

"That is a bad thing, why?"

"If there's one thing I learned today, it's that our worlds are very different."

"How different?"

I began to explain celestial mechanics again. Most of the animals wandered off after a few minutes, only a few listening to my lecture. I say lecture, really I just rambled for ages. I was just about to get around to explaining the causes of World War One (or rather, what I can remember, it's quite complicated) when the grandfather clock struck twelve.

"Oh my, look at the time. Well, I need some sleep, I've got a big day ahead. Or not. Tell me, what do I need to do in the mornings anyway?"

Angel, who had long since fallen asleep, began to stir. I looked to the remaining animals for guidance. There was an owl, and the aforementioned badger. I figured the owl would be the brightest of the bunch. I dunno, maybe I'm a racist, or something. Nonetheless, I needed to know before I started worrying excessively.

"Do you know?"

"Who?" the owl responded.

"You."

"Who?"

"You." I was beginning to get the feeling that this fellow didn't like me much. Maybe possessing Fluttershy had something to do with it.

"Who?"

The badger began to chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

He laughed harder.

"What?"

"Who?"

"Shut up."

He was rolling on the floor at this point.

"What's so funny!?"

Wiping a tear from his eye, he answered;

"That's all he says."

It took a moment before I realized what he meant. I began to laugh. He laughed with me.

"I get it now," I said, turning to the owl. "Well done."

"Who?" he asked.

"No, Who's on first," I replied.

"What?" the badger asked.

"What's on second."

"I don't know, why are you asking me?"

"No, I Don't Know is on third."

"Who is on third?"

"Who is on first."

"Wha-" It dawned on him. I cracked a smile. Soon, we began laughing uproariously again.

"What are you doing?" asked Angel, having been awoken from his slumber.

"Who?" asked the owl.

"That's it, Imma go to bed now," said Angel.

"Is he always like that?" I asked the badger.

"Pretty much."

"Figures. I think we've met before?"

"Not properly, as I've yet to introduce myself. My name's Fred."

"Bartholomew. So do I have anything in the morning?"

"I'll tell you then."

"Fair enough, I could use some sleep anyways."

"Yeah, me too, goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said as he began to crawl off. "Actually, could you take me to my bed? I don't know the house well."

"Of course." With that, he showed me to my room. Once in bed, I fell into a fitful sleep.