I'm done so I'm...

Oh! I'm looking at you

can't control myself

nothing, but pain for me

As is per the norm, I simply did What I do best. I sat in a room, writing me emotions out in the form of drabble on tear stained paper. Unfortunately for me, there was an abundance of rewritten notes on how the world works and why I can't be good enough for anyone. I've always had these self esteem problems, even as a colt, but she always brought me out of my shell.

I once made my intentions clear, that I wanted nothing more than to take her out to dinner and see how things go.

instead, she laughed. she knew I had a semblance of a more... romantic idea for it. but she declined.

I left it at that. much like most things. She still had power over me, she knew what it took to break me.

it took another four months, same thing happened only this time she smiled, saying it was "cute at first, but now its just annoying" she played it off as a joke. "go chase after the beautiful mares," she said, voice wavering lightly in the cold. "maybe you'll find someone better" she finished speaking.

I simply placed a hoof on her shoulder like I always did, then looked in her eyes. "Why bother when I'm already chasing one" I replied, turning on the swagger that I thought I had. She simply laughed. "where is this mystery mare then?"

Everytime she shot me down, I simply scrambled and tried again.

but then... I stopped trying. what was the point of it all? asking her out to get shot down. it was at that point, we started hanging out with others. our bizarre cirle of friends had grown. I saw her smile slowly grow bigger.

it was at that point I dug in my little hooves and simply... let her go.

within a few months I felt as though I were over her. like it was back to that "Just Friends" thing.

but the heart wants what it wants, even Princess Cadence could see that. it was a weird day that one.

I was summoned to her at one point where she proceeded to tell me that she had never in her life seen a more unrequited love than mine. she asked me all these questions which I won't repeat due to legal reasons.

apart rom one.

she asked me this.

"why? why would you do this to yourself?"

I Couldn't answser, not because I wouldn't... for I had no answer.

all I could do in the end was weep. I was broken by the question.

Then like a raging tsunami, the answer had hit me.

I began to write a letter... an outpour of the words I could never say.

if this was to be the end all to be all... then I was to make my feelings known.

As the quill glided across the paper, I could only wonder what she would do, what she would think.

would she think me a coward? or perhaps just ridiculas, maybe beyond a joke.

All was resting on this one letter. but I could care less... As I wrote, the torrent of emotion was only brought to higher levels. like a cascading waterfall of neverending suffering. Cadence had explained to me that Unrequited love was purely... pain.

But as I go to deliver this letter, I see you with somepony... and your smiling, smiling brighter than you would with me. I see him.... one of my closest of friends.

I should be angry...but I'm not.

within seconds, I simply vanish. casting spells and disappearing from sight.

yet the letter remains.

I'm a coward.

Thats all i've ever been. I've spent all night trying to write the perfect letter with the perfect wording to tell you how I feel when it doesn't matter. all because I stupidly fell in love with you.

but you know, it's not that you don't care... it's just your not interested. I knew that... can you blame me for trying so damn hard?   if it helps, I don’t want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking that i'll get over this. It just keeps getting harder. I don’t know what to do. so, I'll be the guy that walks away, and let the better stallion do his best to keep you happy, and in turn... I want him to be happy.

somepony has to be...

as her eyes gazed over the letter again and again...

she began to realize why the pen dragged itself along towards the bottom. Her friend was gone.

I've been walking in the night of tears

there I found someone was holding you

as the night was falling down

with my love also vanished my vision of you