I'm done so I'm...

breaking my own heart

The young stallion looked to me for a moment, before finally deciding to state what was on his mind.

"How old Is she?" he then pointed to the mare in question...

she was an extremely good friend of mine, one that always knew how to make me smile,

the way her mane perfectly frames her face, the way she glides through the air.

the way she teases me. "She's 19 if I remember correctly" I gave a light chuckle.

He then gave a bright smile in my direction. "Thanks, she told me earlier her mom was a litte bit over-protective and won't let  her out much, hence the dumb question" I simply shrugged my shoulders at this and sighed. seeing as the Mare was simply handing out flyers on the manehatten street. "yeah, well her family is mostly comprised of idiots," I sighed before deciding in my head the best course of action "I won't go into the details cause I promised her I wouldn't"

He simply looked at me for a moment, as I watched her try to get peoples attention. a small sad smile graced my face for a brief moment. a sad smile that went un-noticed. "That's fine. I'm just worried about screwing up" I turned to him slightly, with a perfectly faked surprised look. "really?" I knew what he was talking about. He was planning on asking her out.

I gave the lad a smile and a pat on the back. "good for you then"

he looked at me for a moment. "but what shouldn't I ask? I've never..."

"I get ya, you've never really asked a mare out before" he nodded at my assumption.

I looked over to her once more, still watching her work to the best of her abilities.

After a string of bad relationships You'd think she'd have found a decent enough guy?...

instead of that I find her two... me and him....

but...

"You simply just got to relax man, Go with the follow... Go on and ask her out,"

"but-"

"have a little bit of faith in your self"

he hesitates for a moment, still unsure of if he has it in him.

"bah, You'll be fine, if you did somehow manage to screw up she'd still hang out, tis just how she is"

as he sits there thinking about it, I decide to finally put my feelings into consideration.

meanwhile he finally goes for it. " that's good to know. Not sure where I'll end up taking her, but hopefully I'll either think of something or someone will suggest something. Anyway, for now, wish me luck"

as He trots off, I simply smile sadly to myself

I've decided to let her go.

reason being is…well… I think she deserves better…

all I've been doing is chasing a pipe-dream.

is it any wonder why I always try to put myself in situations...

where there's nothing I can really do except get hurt.

it wouldn't have really amounted to much…

I have a feeling after a while, things would just get stale… and she’d just up and leave,

but i think at least this time she would have said it to my face…. instead of handing me a fucking letter.

but I suppose that’s why I did it….

because I just don’t feel like I deserve anything… everything I've done so far has amounted to practically nothing.

sure, I've reserved myself to be that pillar of strength… but now I’m not so sure this is what I want to be.

I feel as though at times… I can’t help…

and that cuts me like a knife.

But to be honest…

I miss it…

I miss performing

I miss seeing the people that really matter to me

all I've been doing is standing around waiting for people to fucking notice that I’m here, That I've always been here…

That I’m always gonna be here… even if i end up a thousand miles away…

I have people that care but…. not in the way I want…

so basically..All I want is to see her genuinely happy… she won’t get that with me…

I watch as he asks the question. she smiles happily at him. I watch as she mouths the word yes,

I turn and leave... Hiding the tears and torture I've inflicted upon myself...

as I walk, I begin to sing a little song to myself "Slit my Hooves and watch me fade away..."