Ghillie in the mist

     "Luna..." I said, grasping the tiny blade that was protruding out of my stomach. "Luna, please. Wake up." I pleaded as I made my way towards her bed. Blood was dripping from my wound, and it was dripping fast. I gasped Luna's shoulder, shaking her as hard as I could. "Luna, please. I beg of you, please wake up!" She rolled over, leaving her back to me.

     "Are you sure? Or am I just going to get in the way, me being a pony." She said, annoyance and pain in her voice.

     "Luna, now's not the time! Please, listen to me!" I tried to rasp out.

     "No."

     "Luna, I'm..."

     "I know you say you're sorry, but are you really sorry about what you said?"

     "Luna, I am..."

     "Good. Then we ha..."

     With my last ounce of strength, I finally managed to get the last word out. "Dying!"

     "W-what?" She said, rolling herself over to see what I was talking about. I collapsed on the floor. The world started spinning. "My gods! Don't worry, Michael! I will..." that's all I heard before I fell unconscious. I felt the blood escaping the wound. I had a very small window for survival.

     My mind woke before my body. I tried to remember the events that put me in my current position. I decided to visit Luna, got blasted with magic, made her cry, had a fake interview, and got stabbed. That sums it up pretty well. My hearing came first, all I could hear was a continuous beep I'd a machine, that if I had to guess, was monitoring my heart. My smell sense of smell was next, everything smelled very... clean. Like it was bleached on an hourly basis. My arms were at my sides, hands in tight fists. Then, very slowly, I opened my eyes.

     I was staring at a single ceiling fan, right above my bed, or beds, since there was three to keep me comfortable. I looked to my right, barely moving my head, to see I was sitting right beside a window. It was night. The moon and stars casting just enough light in for me to see my surroundings. I rolled my head to the left, seeing rows of empty beds. I was the only one in the room. I tried to sit myself up, but an intense pain ripped through my stomach, causing me to scream in pain. No words, just a scream. I looked for a door, and I found it, halfway across the room. I saw a shadow of a pony in the window, wearing a helmet. It was obvious I was being guarded. But then it hit me. What if they weren't making sure sometjing got in, but making sure I didn't get out?

     I pushed the thought out of my head. "I have Celestia and Luna's trust, and they have mine." I said to myself. But I would come to regret it. I looked out the window again, but this time, I tried to view the city. Canterlot. Such beauty. But what really caught my eye, as a black dot getting closer and closer to the hospital. It was running on rooftops, jumping impossibly high, and landing as if nothing happened. It was an earth pony, but I had never seen anything move quite like it. It eventually made it's way to the hospital doors.

     I heard screams. But nothing I could do about them in my current state. The screams for closer and closer. I saw the guards shadow start to move, he was preparing for something.

     "Halt! In the name of the royal guard!" He yelled with another guard that I hadn't heard before. I saw their shadows quickly vanish. Then, there was silence. I sat in the bed eyeing the door Cautiously. I eventually heard a pony banging on the door with emense power.

     Then, a voice that was from the most unholy pit of hell yelled through the door. "MICHAEL D. JOHNSON! the door's hinges eventually broke off the frame, the door flew into the wall. I watched as a pony with steam coming out of her mask walked to my bed. I tried to get out of the bed to run, but pain kept me down.

     "Begone, demon! Leave me be!" I yelled at the figure approaching me.

     "MICHAEL! YOU HAVE BROKEN THE MOST SACRED OF PROMISES!" The voice screamed again. Its eyes bloodshot.

     "I don't know what you're talking about!" I tried to cower down from the threat.

     "YOU HAVE PROKEN A PINKIE PROMISE!" The voice said, removing the mask off her head, exposing a fluffy pink mane. But the rage going through her was undoubtedly going to kill me.

     "Pinkie? I, I had to do something! Don't kill me! Please! I've already almost died today!"

     "APOLOGIZE!" She screamed in my ear.

     "Apologize?" She nodded. "Ahhh.... I'm sorry?"

     Her rage seemed to vanish in a milisecond. "Okay!" She said, smiling and bounding out of the room.

     My face stood in shock. "Wait, that's it? Just an apology?" I asked.

     "I trust that you mean it, but in future times... don't break a Pinkie promise." She said smiling, leaving the room.

     I looked around the room. "What the FUCK just happened?" I said out loud.

     A doctor walked into the room. "By the looks off it, I'd say you broke a Pinkie promise. My advice, never break a Pinkie promise."

     I laid my head back on the pillow. "Little late doc." I said, laughing to my own joke a little. Pain ripping through my body once again.

     "Oh, so it seems that your pain meds have worn off. I'll be right back with some, trust me, you'll feel a million times better."

     "Alright, thanks." I said as the doctor walked out the doors. I waited untio he was out of the room, before I tossed the sheets off the bed. I was once again in only my underwear. "At least that kept me semi decent." I thought to myself. I looked at my stomach. Stitches covered the area that once held a deadly knife. It would leave a nasty scar.

     The doctor walked back into the room, a small bottle held with his horn. "Luna told us to give you these when you woke. You are to take two." He levitated the bottle to me.

     I was in complete shock. "She wants me to take two of these?" The label read a very serious drug. Oxycontin. The doctor nodded his head. I just shook mine. "I need food and water to take these. It'd be very bad to take them on an empty stomach."

     "Of course, I will be right back." He said, making a quick exit. I looked at the bottle. "Well, I should be out for another day. I guess that a little sleep wouldn't hurt." I thought to myself, but then my mind started racing even more. "How did Luna know this was a serious painkiller? And does she know how serious?" My thoughts were cut short when the doctor came back with a surprise on the tray. Cooked fish?

     "I thought ponies were herbivores?" I asked, taking the tray from the doctor's magic.

     "With all the different species that come and go here, we keep all kinds of food. That is mainly a dish for griffins, but after seeing that you were an omnivore as well, decided we should at least show a little sympathy." He said as I devoured the fillet.

     "Thank you." I said as I finished the fish and moved on to the biscuits. Strange combination, but it would work. And lastly, an apple. He levitated a glass of water to me as I pulled the lid off the bottle, depositing two pills into my palm.

     As I gulped them down, I saw the doctor eye me. He was curious. As I finished the glass, he spoke. "Ahhh.... if you don't mind, I have a few questions about your kind's anatomy."

     I looked over at him. "I'd love to help you doc, but once these drugs kick in, I'll either be asleep for a long time, or see purple flying snails... then go to sleep."

     His facial expression changed slightly. "Okay, I'll ask you when you wake up then."

     "Sounds good." I said, laying my head back into the pillow. The drugs worked their magic fast, and I was quickly wrapped in a world of dreams.

     Dreams. They are a wonderful thing. They fill your head with dancing images of things you can only imagine, allowing you to limitless things. Impossible isn't possible. It's a challenge. It's not how strong you are, but how strong your mind is. The only limit is yourself. Nothing can stop you. Anything you have ever seen can be replayed like a movie. Or a videogame.

     I opened my eyes. A night sky filled my vision. A moon right in the center. But not Luna's moon. Earth's moon. I had always found the night to be fascinating. As I stared into the sky, I realized something. I needed to make a call. I pulled a cellphone out of my pocket, and put it to my ears. No buttons pressed.

     "Hello Michael. Back already?" The metallic voice asked.

     "Listen Sub, I know we don't get along very well. But I need to know something."

     "If you know we don't get along, why do you continue to ask me questions?"

     "Because I know you have the answers."

     There was a long silence. Then finally, it answered. "True, but why should I give you this answer? It is bugging you greatly."

     I sighed. "That's exactly why I need the answer. It's bugging me."

     "But you already know the answer to your question."

     "I know that I know, the problem though, is that you are me."

     The voice laughed. "You know, I think you're starting to rely on me for information."

     "Not information. But you know what I really want. Even when I don't. I'm slowly learning how to bring you into my concious mind, but Sub, unless you give me something to work with here, you're not going to get any more attention."

     "I don't want attention. I want control!"

     "You had your chance with control. Then you blew it when I joined."

     "Come on, it was fun, you can't say it wasn't."

     "Sub, those days are behind us, I need you now. More than ever, to give me an answer."

     "All the more reason to keep it from you."

     "What do you want from me! I just want you to answer a single question. We are the same person, in the same body, in the same dream. Why can't you just help me out?"

     "Because, I am a mirror image of you, remember? A stubborn son of a bitch that doesn't give a fuck to pull the trigger."

     "This isn't about pulling a trigger, or ending a life, it's about changing mine. Ours."

     "Oh I know exactly what this is about. But you have trust issues with the sister as much as you wish to deny it. Would you be able to continue living with that?"

     "Just answer my fucking question."

     A laugh came from the phone. "Alright alright, I'll give you what you want."

     I gave a sigh of relief. "Finally."

     "To love another, you must first love yourself. Do you really love yourself Michael?"

     "This isn't fair."

     "Neither is life. Now look sharp, you've got company." The voice cut out, followed by a melodic, repedative beep. It sounded much too rapid to be my mind. I looked around me to see the dream was being consumed by a cloud of smoke. I stood up to the storm ready to embrace it's deadly contents that would surely wake me. A needle came from the storm, a direct hit to the stomach.

     I shot up in the bed, screaming every curse word known to man. "Nurse, hold him down!" The doctor screamed. When a white hoof tried to bring my seizing body back down to the bed, an elbow connected with her skull.

     My vision was blurry, but I could make out what was happening. The doctor had tried to extract blood from my wound, and instead, some a very pissed human. I saw a dark blue figure bust through the doors. Her face in complete shock at the scene. "Doctor, what did you do!" She screamed.

     "Just get him to calm down! Then I'll explain." He screamed, trying to get the needle out of my stomach.

I felt a prison of light wrap around me, slowly bringing my body back into the bed. She walked over to me. And starting talking as if to a small child. "Shhhhh.... it will be alright. Just calm down."

     "Fucking.... bitch.... dick lickin'.... mother fucker...." was all I could manage to get out. Adrenaline was pumping through my body, my veins were popping all over, and muscles seized up as if I had been hit with a tazer.

     She was so calm, speaking in a soothing tone. "Don't worry Michael. In just a minute, you won't hurt anymore."

     I glared that the doctor trying to grab the needle. "Luna, release me so I can snap this son of a bitch's neck!" I tried with everything I had to rais my arm, with no success.

     "I'm sorry Michael, you can't do that. Just calm down. We are trying to make the pain go away."

     I watched as the doctor carefully removed the needle, containing my red blood. "Oh fuck no! I'm not going to be his damn lab rat!" Luna had very little magic on my legs, I swung violently, hittingbthe doctor's horn, causing him to collapse in pain, the blood shattering in the floor. "Ha! What do you think about that bitch!"

     "Michael, please, calm down.... I know you had a dream. But I didn't get a chance to talk to you. What was your dream about?" She had sympathy in her voice.

     "I talked..."

     "To who?"

     "Sub..."

     "Who's 'Sub?'" She had a puzzled look on her face.

     "It's the name I gave many subconscious. We talk sometimes. Fucking hate him."

     "If you hate him so much, why do you talk to him?"

     "Because he knows the answers."

     She gave me a weird look. "The answers to what?"

     "Since he is literally a mirror image of me, he knows everything I know, and then some."

     "How can you know more than you?" The beeping that was coming from the machine had started to decrease, and thre pain was rapidly fading.

     "If I have to make a decision, I always rely on his tricks. I don't even have to be asleep to use him."

     She had stopped using her magic on me, instead, she just stood by my bed, talking with me. Keeping me calm. "And how do you do that?"

     I pulled a bit out of my pocket. "Throw it in the air, you make decisions faster. That's Sub working in your head. I can also talk to him directly."

     "Through your dreams, correct?"

     I nodded. "And I asked him how I felt about the situation we have been placed in."

     Her eyes lit up. "And, what did he say?"

     I sighed. "I need about two hours to be completely alone. I have to think about some things, that's what he told me."

     The look on her face was suddenly washed away, and replaced with pain and sadness. "Oh. Okay. I will be back in two hours then, and I won't let anypony in." She levitated the crying unicorn amd unconcious pony out of the room. I was left alone. Only my shadow to accompany me.

     "Do I really love myself?" I said out loud. My mind started flashing with images of other humans being torn apart by my tools. I had blood on my hands, I'm a killer, why should anyone love a killer? Is it even possible to love a killer?

     Of course you can love a killer. Ray had a wife, with a baby on the way. So killers can have love too. But did he love himself?

     He killed, and he didn't like it any more than I did. But his kills were different, they weren't cold. He was almost always in a firefighte when he ended a life. I sit back, hundreds of yards away from my target. They have no idea what hit them. Everything can be perfectly fine, then I come along.

     "Orders are orders." I said. I was ordered to kill those people. But that doesn't take the blood off my hands.

     I fought with myself over the matter for just over an hour, then, I came to a veru sudden, and true realization. "It's not that I don't love myself, but that I don't love what I've done!" I smiled as I grabbed a bit from my pocket. I held it tight in my hand. "Alright Sub, here's your chance to redeem yourself." I flipped the coin in the air. The decision was made as soon as it left my hand.

     I stared at the bit in disbelief. I just let my subconscious decide what my life will now be like. How it will be forever changed. I heard a the door swing open. "You must be Mr. Johnson?" The earth pony in a white coat asked, walking towards me.

     "Yes, and you are?" I eyed him cautiously.

     "My apologies, I am Dr. Mallard. Your old doctor is in some serious pain right now."

     "Fuck me, how long until I die?"

     His face held confusion. "You aren't going to die? I'm here to ask if it is alright for guests and give you something to eat."

     I relaxed a little. "There's a show where I'm from, NCIS, there is a character named Dr. Mallard. He does the autopsy reports. And as for visitors, just one at a time."

     "Excellent." He said, before walking out the door. Celestia was the first in the room.

     "Michael, how are you feeling?"

     "Been better. Hurting a little, but hey! Pain just lets you know you're still alive." I smiled a little.

     She tried to hold back a smile, but failed. She finally spoke after about a minute. "Michael. How do you feel about the situation you are currently placed in? And you know what I'm talking about."

     "Well... I've done some thinking. And I think I have an answer to her question. But I would rather tell her first."

     She nodded as she started for the door. "I understand." No. No you don't. I mean this in the most sincere way, but... FUCK YOU! That was the thoughts running through my head.

     Next was Scootaloo. "Daddy, are you going to be okay? The doctor told us what happened."

     I reached over the bed, scooping her up. "I'll be fine, you know what they say about pain where I come from?" She shook her head. "It's just weaknesses leaving the body."

     "Then the nurse and doctor must have been pretty weak, we saw Luna carry them down the hallway."

     I smiled to myself. "No, he just didn't do what I asked. He wasn't patient. And didn't ask."

     "What did they do to you?"

     "They put me in more pain than I wanted so I had to retaliate."

     Her eyes lit up. "That means t..."

     I cut her off quickly. "That doesn't mean the next time someone says something to you, you try and beat them up. I am full grown and very well trained. I know how my body can flow and what it can do. You're just a filly. Enjoy it. Being an adult stinks."

     "Okay!" She said, hopping down from the bed, towards the door. Allen walked in right as Scootaloo left.

     "You just won't fuckin' die will you?" He said as he came closer to my bed.

     "Well, it's not exactly on my bucket list." I said.

     He kinda looked around the room, to make sure no one was listening. "Hey Michael, is ot true what they're saying out in the hall?"

     I kinda frowned. "I don't know, what are they saying?"

     "Well, pretty much that you and the princess are getting hitched."

     I rubbed the back of my head. "So it seems."

     "Well congrats, I guess." He saw me continuing to rub the back of my head. "You aren't sure what to do are you?"

     I shook my head. "I really don't, man. I mean, I proposed with a teddy bear when I was drunk. I can't remember anything that happened."

     "What are you going to do?"

     I thought for a moment. I had determined that I did in fact love myself, but I was unable to remember loving another. Then, I had an idea. "The Vow..." I said under my breath.

     "What?" He moved closer, straining his ear.

     "The Vow, it's a movie. This couple get into a car crash, and the girl loses her memory. She never gets it back, but the guy takes her back to all the iconic places that they used to go to."

     "And this is your plan how?"

     "If I can get Luna to relive the night with me, sober this time, I will be able to know of I really love her, or if it was just the alcohol talking."

     "Think she'll do it?"

     "Only way to find out is to ask."

     He started to leave. "You want me to get her?"

     "No, not yet. I need to talk with Celestia first. Can you bring her in?"

     He opened the door. "Of course." He shut the door behind him, only seconds later to be opened by the white alicorn.

     "You wanted to see me again?" She sounded confused.

     "Do you know exactly how the night's events went? In the exact order."

     She sounded even more confused. "Of course?"

     I started to rub the back of my head. "About when and where did I propose to Luna? I have an idea, but I need to know what event was right before that."

     She nodded. "You had just started to head back to the castle, and you saw the bear. You purchased it, and lead her to an alley, where you got on one knee with the stuffed animal."

     I etched the instructions into my brain. I did not want to lose them. "Thank you, could you please send in Luna?"

     She nodded. "She will be in momentarily." And she left the room. I looked at the moon burned on my chest.

     "We can skip you." I said. The door was flung open, and a, very tired, pony ran towards me.

     "Michael! Tia told me what you wanted to do!"

     "She told..." I started to say, but I heard a quiet snicker in my head. "Fuck you." I rang through my head.

     "Yes! I can not wait! We can relive everything that happened!" She wrapped her hooves around my neck, amd wings around my torso. She leaned in for a kiss, but I flinched away. I couldn't help it! Shit comes at my face, I flinch. But this seemed to really hurt Luna. Pain and sadness overwhelmed her face.

     "Lu, I'm sorry. I..." I started but she cut me off.

     "You.... flinched?" A tear started forming in her eye.

     A voice rang through my head. "Smooth."

     "Fuck you!" I shouted back. My mind shot over to the middle of the cartel exicution. Gags followed, and connection was cut. Bitch I thought to myself. I looked up at Luna. The tear was rolling down her face. "Luna, I'm so sorry, you scared me. Today has been a little tense."

     She tried wiping the tear away, she brought her wings back to her sides, and hoof on the ground. "I..." *sniff* "I understand."

     "No, Luna, listen. I just...." I was cut off by a sob. "Luna.... I really am sorry. But I just... I really don't know I love you, that's why I wanted to redo that night. To find if I really love you."

     "But.... you flinched?" She was determined that the one motion had already determined my ideas.

     "When you've been stabbed, attacked by a pink demon, and blood extracted against your will, you tend to be a little on edge."

     "So...." she perked up a little. "There's still hope!" No shit, I thought to myself.

     "Yes, how about tomorrow night, you can show me exactly what we did. But I think we both need the rest." I said, pointing at the bags under her eyes.

     She smiled. "That sounds wonderful!" She said, she wrapped her wings around me again, but this time, placing her head in my chest, careful not to impale me with her horn. I wrapped my arms around her back, but barely, seeing that her wings covered most of my arms. I rested my head on hers. But my eyes shot open when I heard a suddel *click*. I looked to my right, amd saw a red pegasus with a camera, smiling like a maniac.

     "Son of a..." I looked around, finding only a scalpel. I threw it at the pony with the camera, only to bounce off the window. "Well... I wonder what the paper will say tomorrow." I thought to myself.