Cure for Pain

“Well…” I said the following afternoon at the library. “You look good.” Considering Melissa’s entrapment in this dimension for an undetermined amount of time, Melissa decided to go to Zecora to get a new body. She looked pretty… typical. No physical abnormalities.

“Yeah… good.” Octavia said, suppressing certainly homicidal thoughts. Melissa shot my marefriend a look of pure immature hatred. “You’re just mad because I got the bass clef and YOU got the treble clef.” Melissa said mockingly. Dear Celestia, Melissa was sexy when she was being a dick.

Octavia and Melissa had gotten to know each other since they met a couple of days ago, and they… well… they work off of each other pretty good. For every insult Octavia flings, Melissa throws one back of equal force. It’s like Newton’s Third Law of Asskicking or something.

“Well, I have to go.” Octavia said, walking out of the library. “I’ll come with.” I offered, much to her delight.

“So…” I said once we were out of Twilight’s house. “How’s Melissa?” I saw Octavia searching for an accurate description in her head. “There aren’t words to describe how I feel about her.” I smiled. “Well, can you try?”

Why did I ask that?

“Sorry about that… oral outburst.” Octavia said to me at the Cake’s bakery. I was reminded of that movie A Christmas Story, where that kid Ralphie said “Fuck” and got his mouth washed out with soap. If I were to try that with Octavia, I would have to use laundry detergent to accurately wash out everything she said.

“It’s alright.” I muttered, taking a sip of water and avoiding her gaze. “I get that she’s a bit intolerable.” She gave me a confused look. “Then why did you date her in the first place?” I laughed. “Probably for the same reason you don’t like her. Our dry humor bounced off of the others so fluently, our jokes were artwork. So were our arguments.”

“Heh…” She muttered, taking another bite of cake.

“Hey, man.” I heard John say the next day at the music store. “That girl’s back. For the third time today.” Crap, what was wrong with Melissa? Every day since she came here, she’s been popping in and out of my work at an astonishing rate. I mean, I’m not necessarily opposed to girls coming to me to talk (hell, I usually welcome it), but this is my ex-girlfriend, and I don’t like where conversations with exes lead…

“Just tell her I’m not here.” I said. “And where will you be?” John asked. I assumed the position under the desk. It’s like that code red lockdown they would have you practice for at school. But this was unlike that in the way that the code red is where I’m hiding from a crazy person, and in this one, I’m hiding from… my.. ex. Huh. Maybe they weren’t so different.

“Just do it.” I said, figuring my current state would answer his question. He looked down with a look of pity, but did what I said.

“Hey!” Melissa said. “Where’s Walker?” John quivered, making an excuse. “He’s out to lunch.” I looked at the clock. Yeah, I’m out to lunch at three in the afternoon. Makes perfect sense, genius.

“Oh…” I heard Melissa say, her attitude dropping considerable. “Well, if you see him, tell him I came by.” I held back a laugh. As if she hadn’t passed by enough. “Alright, see ya.” John said, nonchalantly replacing drum heads.

“Dear Celestia.” I said, emerging from underneath the counter. “She was never this obsessed with me back on Earth.” John looked at me. “Well, you have a new girlfriend, so maybe you’re her ‘lost treasure’ that she desperately wants back. Although…” he laughed. “I wouldn’t count on it.”

“And what did you learn today, John?” I said to a bruised John with a pair of chipped drumsticks in my hand. “Well…” he started. “I learned that your ex-girlfriend is a psycho, you can’t deal with psycho women, and that I should never insult you in a place filled with drumsticks. Did I miss anything, you dick?” I laughed. “Pretty much covered everything.”

As I locked the shop up that night, I noticed a silhouette beside the door. I sighed. “Melissa, it’s ten o’ clock. Everything’s closed now.” Her creepiness was complimented with the full moon’s light shining directly off of her eyes, making her look like a phantom coming to take me to my grave.

“I know…” she said, walking over to me. “I just wanted to spend some time with you.” I guess I could understand that; we hadn’t really had a time to talk alone, but the prospect of being alone with this girl, given how… interested she had become in me was a thought I didn’t want to dwell on.

“Well, can we talk back at my apartment?” I asked, just buying time in my mind. Her head dropped, but she smiled. “Sure, just meet me there in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Oka- wait, don’t you need me to open the door?” I walked around. “Nah, I got a locksmith to make a copy of your key.” She said, pulling a key out of… wherever it was ponies stored stuff, which I had yet to figure out.

That was neither here nor there, though. This girl was psycho. “Yeah… sure…” I said, watching her walk away. I picked up my phone and called a friend. “Hey, Coleton? I’m gonna need to crash at your place tonight.”

“Let me guess…” Coleton said, passing me a glass of water. “it’s Melissa?” I sighed. “Yeah, she’s a psycho. She came to the shop at least three times today to just talk to me, she’s at my house, and I didn’t want to see her.”

“…you’re fucking retarded.” I heard Coleton say. “Why?” I asked. “Well…” he started, pacing the floor while talking. “she’s at your house with your personal possessions, and when she finds out you aren’t coming home she’s gonna be pissed.”

The reality of the situation set in, and I left without saying goodbye. I took out my phone and checked my phone. It’s two o’clock. SHIT!

I texted Octavia. “If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, call the police. Don’t question it, just do it.”

The sight when I got home. Everything was completely messed up. My posters were slashed, my bedroom was trashed, and my drums…

MY DRUMS! A knife through every head, the shells were splintered and slashed, the cymbals were broken in half (don’t even ask me how she did it) and, upon further inspection, my kick pedal was broken. Anger surged through every vein in my magical body as I saw the same silhouette from earlier standing above me.