Cure for Pain

Part 10: Psychotic Girl

“What…What the hell?!” Was all I could muster up at the moment. My ex-girlfriend was standing right behind me, with a knife covered in dust. From my drum set, no doubt. I would have said a lot more, but would you have said anything else to a girl with a knife? No, you wouldn’t have. Don’t lie.

“The morals of a human are weird, Walker.” She said, pacing around the room. What the hell was she doing? “Despite anything wrong done against you, your conscious keeps you from going homicidal.” She threw the knife at me, barely missing my head and hitting the wall behind me. “But I’m not a human anymore.”

Well, I’m fucked.

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Coleton was asleep with Rainbow Dash, enjoying his slumber after a particular stressful day at the school, when he received a text from me. He picked up the phone and read the text. “Dude, things are getting grimdark as fuck, help me please. Meet me at the Cake’s bakery.”

Coleton sighed. He reluctantly got up from his bed, careful not to wake up Dash. Luckily, Dash had been out a bit late that night with her job and didn’t know about my staying there. He flew out of his house in the clouds, reluctantly helping me out.

“Dude, you look like SHIT.” he said as he sat down opposite me in the booth. I had a few close calls back at the apartment, barely missing a punch and a stab as I ran out of the house. I didn’t care what she did to my house while I was gone.

“You know about my girlfriend?” I asked, sipping a cup of milk, attempting to regain my composure. “Yeah?” he said. “Well… she’s a fucking psycho.” I said, shaking from fear. “Well, I know that.” He said. “Why did you call me here?”

I sighed. “No.” I said, showing him a slash I had on my inner thigh from her escapades with the knife. “She’s FUCKING psycho.” The frown on Coleton’s friend suddenly turned into a look of fear as he understood what I meant. “Holy shit, what happened?”

“Well…” and I started from the time I got home, retelling what she said about the morals of man from heart. “Well…” Coleton said. “Where is she?”

“Last I saw her, she was back at my apartment. I don’t care what she does with my shit; she’s already destroyed my drum set.” Coleton gave me a pained look. “I hate to tell you, but she’s not at your apartment.” I looked at him. Confused. How would he know that? “Where is she, then?” I asked.

“Ehhh… right outside.” He said, pointing at the dark rainy streets. I looked out to see that he was right. There was a wet, seething Melissa looking at me with evil eyes of a shiny green…

Wait. Green? Last I remembered, they were blue. “Dude… things are getting too canon for me.” I said. “What do you mean?” Coleton asked, still focused on my girlfriend’s evil aura. “Her eyes are blue. Not green. Who else do you know has green eyes?”

Coleton pondered this for a moment. “Well… wait… you think that…” I nodded. Changelings… how obvious it was! “Holy shit.” was all he was able to say. This seemed too weird. Well, within this new world of anthropomorphized ponies, things never got too weird. There was an occasional unplanned rainstorm, but with Twilight everything was planned to the T. Nothing like this had ever happened, and I wasn’t sure exactly how to react to it.

“Wanna run like hell? Out the back door?” I said, standing up to pay the bill. “Sounds reasonable.” He said in a dignified manor before hauling flank out of that bakery.

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“Dude…” I said between pants as we approached the library. It was 4. A.M. but the lights were on. Probably Twilight doing some really late night studying. But we didn’t care. She would be our savior.

“Yeah?” he said, panting. We were both tired. From the Cakes’ to the library was at least two miles, and we ran like my psycho girlfriend was chasing us. Oh wait…

“I read a fanfic about this.” I said, trying in any way I could to help. He looked at me, anger rampant in his eyes. “WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT FANFICTION AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!” He slapped me. “Dude, these are ACTUAL CHANGELINGS… They don’t adhere to the rules of the show. You’ve seen this city, there’s something around every corner that Lauren would never even THINK ABOUT showing on the TV show. So why do you think these things are going to spare our life if they get the chance?! Just because they spared Cadance and Shining doesn’t mean they’re going to do it to us!”

I rubbed my cheek, thinking about what he said. He was being sensible about this entire thing. Our perceptions of Ponyville through the show had been proven inaccurate. Whether it be through the gigs I’ve played with the band, or the places Coleton has had to go to help Dash with weather control, we both found things that wouldn’t be… acceptable on the show.

“You’re right.” I said. “Best we talk to Twilight about it.” Coleton nodded and knocked on the door. Twilight opened the door, sleep heavy on her eyelids. I guess she had fallen asleep with the lights on or something, because it was obvious we woke her up from how angry she was.

“What are you two doing here? It’s four in the morning!” She yelled, Owlowicious flying down onto her back. “Let us explain…” I started, struggling to form a coherent sentence after what transpired that night.

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“Dear Celestia, this is bad…” Twilight said, running across the library after the long explanation. I followed her. “Wait, why is it necessarily bad? I mean, the changelings are really bad, but after what the elements of harmony did to Chrysalis, I figured that any other changeling would be a piece of cake.”

Twilight looked back, biting her lip. “About Chrysalis… remember what we did to get rid of them?” I nodded. I remembered becoming a brony because of the season 2 finale. The elements of harmony did their thing and caused the changelings to,  quite literally, fly away from Canterlot.

“When we forced them out with that magic explosion, the changelings went through the air at a terminal rate. Most of the changelings were able to regain their composure and fly away, but Chrysalis wasn’t so lucky.

“She hit the ground right by the mountains, in a particularly rocky, jagged area.” Twilight recalled, wincing at the description. “She died because of what we did. We didn’t figure out until significantly after the event, as Princess Celestia didn’t want us to feel guilty.

“Because of her death, the Changelings retreated. No one heard of them for the longest time. Until a rumor started that they would take revenge against the pony population for their, or in this case our heartless crime against their leader. The rumors have been dismissed as just what they were- rumors. Until what you just said.”

My mind was spinning. Everything in Ponyville seemed absolutely hunky-dory when we got there. I guess it was just luck with the timing.

“So the Changelings are angry and plotting revenge?” I asked solemly. Twilight nodded. “Unfortunately.”

“Well… I don’t know what to do.” I said, throwing my hands above my head in surrender. “I guess we’re screwed. Royally.”

That was until a sleepy Spike came down the stairs, holding a scroll addressed to Twilight herself. “Ugh…” Spike said before handing the scroll to Twilight. Poor little guy. He was just asleep, probably dreaming something good, when he was woken up by a forced heaving. “Thanks, Spike.” Twilight said, giving her faithful assistant a weak smile. “Whatever.” Spike said, eyelids three-fourths closed as he stumbled back up the stairs, no doubt wanting nothing more than to continue his slumber. I noticed two shining tickets for a train headed towards Canterlot attached to the back of the letter as Twilight unfurled the scroll and read.