Cure for Pain

“First off, let me introduce myself.”  I finally said. “My name is Walker Scott. I live here with my friend Coleton Howard in Seattle, Washington.” Twilight was the first to respond. “Nice to meet you, Walker. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is my friend Pinkie Pie.” I decided that being blunt would be the only way to get anywhere in this conversation. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I already knew that.” Damn, that sounded better in my head.

Twilight didn’t respond. she just gave him a quizzical, perplexed look. I figured the only thing to do was to show her. I picked up the first season DVD of MLP and gave it to her. She looked at the cover with awe. “Why are we on the cover?” she asked. Pinkie had already lost interest, and had turned on the TV to watch Saturday morning cartoons. Bluntness, I remembered. “Because you guys are on a TV show. This show is called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Along with your other four friends, you and Pinkie are the main characters.”

The awkwardness in the room was almost too much to bear. Twilight sighed. She was taking all of this information quite well. I would have freaked out by now. “I understand. Allow ourselves to explain:

“A group of humans recently came to Ponyville. They came in a type of device they called the “Reality Transporter.” They brought with them the offer of information in exchange for bits. Celestia accepted this offer, but she also bought a “Reality Transporter” from them and entrusted me with it. I’m here because Pinkie wanted to see what other realities there were, and I agreed in order to try it out. She also gave me a task to gather information from wherever we ended up, and in this case, it is the human world.”

“That group of humans actually exists in this reality.” I said. “They’re a company whose business is exactly what they did with you; information in exchange for money. My friend works for them.” I almost forgot about my friends. I would have to call them about this. “Wait,” I said, something occurring to me. “Wouldn’t you need a place to stay while gathering information?”

Twilight nodded. “I figured that if we couldn’t find a place to stay, we could return and try again. We have actually been through six realities before we came across yours. None of those six provided any hospitality.” A thought popped into my head, but I tried to stop it from developing. Don’t do it. I thought. They would be liabilities. We would have to feed them and take care of them. This is a new world for them, after all. I decided against letting them stay, and it took a lot of courage, but I finally stood up, and said in the most compassionate voice I could muster: “Feel free to stay here however long you need if you like.” Dammit, mouth.

“Thank you so much, Walker!” yelled Pinkie, who came over and gave me a big hug. As soon as she hugged me, I realized why she was the party pony; she could brighten any situation. Twilight thanked me while prying Pinkie Pie off of me. “Well,” I said finally. “Get some sleep, feel free to crash wherever you like, but we’re gonna have to talk to my roommate in the morning, ok?” Pinkie didn’t need to be told twice, and she basically dove into my couch, falling asleep instantly. Twilight couldn’t find a place to sleep, unfortunately, the floors were hardwood, and the chairs were too small to support her. Another thought. “You can sleep in my bed if you please.” SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! My brain screamed at me, but it was too late. The words had already been said, Twilight had already thanked me and gone to the bedroom to sleep. That’s alright, I thought to myself. I can sleep on the floor. The hardwood floor.