Cure for Pain

Part 29: Tomorrow Comes Today

“Trust me, darling, you’ll be FINE!” Rarity said, consoling her cyan pegasus friend. A week had passed since Dash’s talk with Walker, and it was the night of the date. Sure, that was what she would call it.

“No, Rarity, YOU would be fine. You’ve had experience. I haven’t, and as a result, I WON’T.” Dash said, pushing her head down into Rarity’s pillow. Rarity shrugged off what her friend said, and went to console her.

“Don’t worry dear; I talked to Walker, and he doesn’t think he’s done it either. I guess I was a bit worried about how he would know, but it still didn’t change what he said. If you’re bad, then he won’t know the difference, so there’s nothing to worry about, dear!”

After noticing exactly what she said, she facehooved and sat down with her worried friend. “Just relax, dear. It will come naturally to you; it does to everyone.” Rarity said. Dash looked up, face full of confidence. “You know what, Rarity? You’re right! I’m Rainbow Dash! I’ve done the sonic rainboom and I’m the best flyer in all of Equestria! I can do this!”

With these words, Dash hugged her friend goodbye and flew to the clouds, where she was to meet Coleton.

“Alright, dude.” I said, walking to the rendezvous point with Coleton. “Just have a good time; it isn’t gonna be a complicated date. It’s not gonna cost anything, and there’s no emotional obligations. Just enjoy it.”

Coleton smiled and bumped me in the shoulder with his hoof. “Dude, I’m not worried. Does this look like the look of someone who’s worried?” He looked at me, face gleaming with happiness. “Alright dude.” I said as my friend flew away. “Have fun.”

When Coleton joined his marefriend on the familiar cloud overlooking Ponyville, he was overcome with emotion. It wasn’t simply a date; this was time for him and Dash to spend time together without the distractions of a bill or a blaring action movie in the background. He suddenly realized what Walker was saying.

“Walker?” Spike said, looking at me slouched on the library’s couch. “What are you doing?” I looked at him. “Y’know, just… watching tv.” Spike raised an eyebrow. “The tv’s off.” I looked at it, the black screen reflecting my face. “Huh. Guess it is.”

Spike sighed. “Seriously, dude, why are you here? And why are you all spaced out?” I bit my lip. I was thinking about how things were inevitably doing with Coleton and Dash now. By my predictions, it wasn’t happening now, but it would be soon if Dash worked up the courage to start.

“Alright, Spike, I’m gonna tell you.” I said, taking a deep breath. “Has twilight given you ‘the Talk’? You know, ‘THE Talk’?” Spike looked at me in confusion until his face lit up with understanding. “Oh, yeah, she gave it to me about two years ago, why?”

I sighed. This was where things would get weird. “And you know how Coleton’s on a date with Dash currently?” Spike nodded.  I kept waiting for him to put two and two together, but he didn’t seem to understand.

“On the clouds?” Spike nodded, still not getting it. “ALONE?” I asked, my final attempt. He nodded again, but this time, he got it. I could tell when his pupils dilated, and a look of confused disgust washed over his face.

“You mean… Dash… and Coleton…?” Was all he could say. I nodded. “Yes, actually.” He backed away. “Ewww, man. I always thought Dash was… you know…“

“I know.” I said, interrupting his thoughts. “So did a lot of humans, which resulted in some…” I cleared my throat. “Less than desirable reading material.

“But the point is this.” I said, trying to change the subject of the conversation. “Dash loves Coleton, and she wants to marry him. But the mare doesn’t typically ask the stallion, it’s usually the other way around. SO she needed a tactic to try to persuade him to ask, and Rarity gave her this option.”

Spike was grasping his head, trying to make sense of it all. “So let me get this straight. Dash wants to marry Coleton, but she can’t ask, so she’s trying to make Coleton ask by having sex with him?” I looked at him and shrugged. “Yeah, that’s right. Hey man, can you write me a letter asking for a new drum set? My other one was destroyed by a changeling.”

He grabbed his head more forcefully, sputtering nonsensical babble trying to keep composed. “But… why… AHH!” He walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. “SO THAT’S A NO?!” I yelled. Not surprisingly, I received no response. “Just stay out of the clouds to the left, dude! YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON!”

Meanwhile, upon the clouds, two sweaty sacs of flesh, bone, and wings were laying on the clouds, exhausted. “So…” Dash said, giggling. “That happened.”

Coleton simply shivered from the cold night air. He didn’t know exactly what had happened, but all he knew was that it happened. “…Eeyup.” Coleton said, completely ruining the moment.

“So…” Coleton proceeded, standing up and stretching. “Was that a ‘just because’ thing? Or was there something more?”

To Dash’s credit, she held her composure for a good… three seconds. But when Coleton saw the eye twitch, he knew shit was about to hit the fan.

“’Just because’? ‘JUST BECAUSE’?!” Dash yelled, not even thinking about what she was saying anymore. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I GIVE YOU… WHAT JUST HAPPENED, AND YOU THINK IT WAS JUST BECAUSE?!”

To Coleton’s credit, he seemed unaffected for a good… three seconds, before screaming and flying away, Dash right on his tail.

“Alright, alright, alright, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening…” Coleton muttered to himself, flying at top speed away from the cyan blue nightmare behind him. “Nah, this is too lifelike to NOT be happening. But… what’s happening?”

Coleton flew to the one place he knew to be safe; Twilight’s library. He dove down, landing on the ground in one piece, before running through the front door, Dash literally meters behind him.

“DUDE!” Coleton yelled to me. I turned my head to see his face. It was a look of fear; of someone who just saw a ghost.

“Dude, what happened?” I asked before seeing a cyan blue blur pass by me. Dash ran into the tallest bookcase, landing on the ground and knocking herself out.

“Seriously, man. What the hell?” I asked, seeing Coleton run over to his marefriend. “Long story short, something went wrong. I don’t know what, but something bad happened.”

I stifled laughter. What could have possibly happened? “Did you… arrive early?” I asked, craving his reaction. He looked at me. “What are you talking about?!”

“Eh…” I said, laughing nervously. “Never mind. Just wait until Dash wakes up, and we can talk.” Coleton looked at me, the look of fear even more prominent than when I first saw him. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

All of a sudden, I saw Dash’s eyes flutter open, a temporary look of confusion on her face before anger contorted it. “You…” she said to Coleton, flying up to meet him, here eyes mere inches from his. Before she could continue her thought, I picked her up with my magic, and teleported her away. “Shut up. Both of you.” I said, deciding to let myself go on autopilot for a while. “I’ve been worried about what was happening for the last two hours, and I’m not dealing with this shit.

“Now, Dash…” I said in the most authoritative voice I could muster. “Tell Coleton… everything.” Dash looked at me, her pupils dilating. “…everything?” I nodded. “Everything.”

And so began the awkward explanation. From the beginning, with Rarity’s suggestion, to the event that led up to them in a destroyed library. “Wait…” I asked Coleon, ready to burst from laughter. “So you missed the mark? And as a result, you were chased here by a steaming mad Dash?”

Coleton nodded, obviously not finding the situation as humorous as I did. “So…” he said, awkwardly poking at the ground with his hoof. “Is that true, Dash?”

Dash sighed and nodded. “Yeah. That was my motivation to do all of this.” Coleton simply laughed. “If you wanted to marry me, you could have just asked!” I facehoofed, but made sure to help Dash keep her composure. “It’s the guy that asks the girl, remember?” I said, trying to help him out.

“Oh yeah…” He said, rubbing his chin. “I guess you’re right. But that sounds swell.” I looked up along with Dash. “Exactly what sounds swell?” Dash asked.

“Marrying you, Dash.” He said, red covering his face as he said it. “I would really like that.” I can’t say I really expected that to develop in that way. I was thinking (and hoping) that there would be a hoof to hoof fight somewhere tonight, but I was alright with this.

“Omigoshomigoshomigoshomigoshomigosh!” Dash said, running up to Coleton and joining his loving embrace.

I did not know that I, a fully-grown heterosexual male stallion, had the capacity to squee. I did not ever believe that I ever would, nor did I believe the situation would present itself. But as they stood there, hugging, electricity flowing through their very being, I squeed like a fucking Death Note fangirl. I’m damn proud to say I did.

“So…” Dash said, leaving Coleton’s embrace. “What’s our story gonna be?” Coleton looked at her with confusion. “What story?”

Dash laughed. “The story we’re gonna tell everyone else about how you proposed? I mean, we can’t say what actually happened.”

Coleton laughed. “True. Alright, here’s the story; we went to the first resturaunt we ever went to as a couple.” Dash stopped him right there. “That was a crappy fast food joint, remember?” Coleton sighed. “Second resturaunt,  then. Or whenever we went to that fancy one in Canterlot.

“We ate to our hearts’ content, and we enjoyed ourselves. I got down on my back hooves with a ring and proposed, and you said yes.”

Dash laughed, and gave Coleton a peck on the cheek. “Agreed.”