Chapter 1: Say This Ten Times Fast

“I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?”

• John Lennon

My eyes flutter open, awakening with a smile to greet the day. Last night's party had been way over the top, and I'm relieved I've gotten enough sleep. I'm also thankful that no nightmares about fruit punch had invaded me - I now had phobias for a few different foods I'd seen thrown up last night. Eew. Thank Celestia for my fogged-up sunglasses. They've saved me again.

Gee, I'm perfectly content until I realize I'm not on my mattress but lying on gravel. In the middle of the street. Maybe an after-party prank on the host. I would be okay with it, it's just that, um, I could be magically transformed into a Scratch Pancake. I like pancakes, but I wouldn't enjoy being one. This wasn't a great trick. I curse whoever dragged my into the road, and I stand up and look around me... But I'm not in a road. It's just a small dome-shaped valley, with no plants or grass or anything. It's just dirt. Am I dreaming? I'm done with this. Mister Sandman, wake me up now.

And then I hear something in the distance. Hooves, maybe? I brighten. I'm secretly hoping this is Octavia, coming to take me away from here. But Tavi doesn't make that much noise when she runs. Then I see a small figure, running down the side of the dome. It's not a pony, it's... A buffalo.

Little Strongheart is charging at me. I stumble back. There are more, bigger ones, behind her. Oh no. This is the worst nightmare since I was four, and Discord was chasing me in underground tunnels. But that was ridiculous. This seems so much more vivid... So much more real. Once I can get a better look I see that Little Strongheart is grinning at me like an idiot. The word troll comes to mind for some weird reason. I shrug it off - it really is a creepy grin, you know - and start running away from the buffalo stampede, hoping the dream-me was faster than, well, me.

But the buffalo are gaining on me. Why do they have to be so fast? I curse, and keep running, trying to tap into whatever gave me the courage not to give up in the first place. But I can't. I can't do it again. And the stampede is really close now.

Before I know it, the buffalo try and stampede right under me. Then I'm suddenly riding on Little Strongheart's back. "Say this ten times fast." Even though she isn't shouting, her voice booms like there's no other noise in the dome valley. "Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo."

"What? Why?" I cry out. My voice isn't multiplied like hers.

She looks at me again, with that serial-killer grin. Troll, my mind screams again. I don't want any more "trollface." So I say it ten times, and fast. "Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo" - I scream it over the clacking of buffalo hooves against the ground - "buffalo, buffalo, buffalo, buffalo" - I'm hyperventilating now - "buffalo... Buffalo!"

Everything disappears for a millesecond, and then I'm in Ponyville, lying in Sweet Apple Acres, my chest heaving. That was a mouthful. I don't think I like buffalo quite as much anymore. I think everything's okay, until I look up, and find that this is Discord's Ponyville.