Fallout of Equestria: Bad Gambit

Hopefully. The creepy look the stallion in the top hat was giving me was unsettling. His grin widened, making his mustache dance on his upper lip.

Unsettling to say the least.

His white coat glistened as he hopped up onto the stage, thin chain in his mouth. He seemed excited. Really, really excited.

"Oho... you'll do quite nicely. Perfect, really." A bit of drool dripped from his mouth and splattered on the floor. We both looked at it, his face plastered with surprise. "Oh, whoops. A bit too excited it does seem. Anyways, come with me." He slipped the chain into the hole in the collar and dragged me from the stage, trotting happily towards the back of the crowd. Fair Trade winked at me as I slipped off the stage.

"Chainsy, hold this for me," He said, handing the chain off to a small, portly dark purple mare who was also holding the chain to Lady Fantastic, who was still staring at the ground with a nearly material clowd floating about her head, "I have to go back for the last one. My plan's coming together perfectly, Chainsy! Perfectly!"

"Yes, Master Good." The mare said, nodding her head in agreement. The mustachioed stallion, Good, squealed like a foal and hopped back into the crowd. I stared blankly at Chainsy. She stared back at me, clearly both used to Good's antics and unamused with them.

Lady Fantastic let out a weak sob. Chainsy patted her on the back. The crowd roared. I couldn't hear Fair Trade's voice this far back, it was completely enveloped by the crowd's shouts.

Chainsy stared at me. I shuffled my hooves uncomfortably.

"You're supposed to be the strong one, I'd suppose," Chainsy said, looking back at the stage. "I'd bet you'll die first. They usually do. Especially if they're courageous." She looked me up and down, then sighed. "You don't look like a hero to me. Maybe you'll be okay."

I snorted, but my interest was piqued. Dying didn't sound good. And strong one? 'The' strong one? I began to open my mouth when I was struck in the back of the head with something rather large and soft. I

"I got her Chainy, oh yes I did!" Master Good giggled with pure glee. "The plucky one! Oh this time's sure to work!"

"Yes, Master Good."

I moaned as I rolled onto my legs, and heard a smaller moan echo mine. Lying next to me was the filly from before, holding her head with both hooves. She slid forwards as Master Good handed her chain off to Chainy. Then Master Good turned his attention to all of us, clopping his hooves together excitedly.

"Ohooo, this is perfect, just peeeerfection! Come along Chainsy, we don't want to be late!" He hopped off into the direction of the elevator. Chainsy shrugged her shoulders and tugged on the chains, signaling us to start walking. We did, even though two of us were sniffling. The filly's eyes were wide with unimaginable fear. Even her apparent curiosity from before was vanished under the terror that now shrouded her. Suddenly, her legs gave out. Chainsy just glared at her, and then at me.

"Well, I ain't carrying her. Get to it, 'Strong one'." She said, perfectly content to drag the filly along the tiles unless I did something. I did. I deposited her on my back and began walking again at Chainsy's slow but consistent pace. She shuddered on my back. There was no... warmth to her, like there'd been with Techno, or even Daggers. She was just cold, and reeked of fear.

Reeked? The wasteland was really getting to me. First growling, now identifying by smell. Maybe that radiation did more than addle my brain temporarily. She muttered apologies in a voice so soft even I struggled to hear it. Her voice was just as scared as she seemed.

The elevator doors creaked open, and a familiar Zebra smiled weakly at me and the other slaves. He looked apologetic. Before the grates closed, I saw Angel and Smasher staring sadly from the bar. Daggers was on the floor, snoring.

"Going all the way down, Master Good?" The Zebra asked cautiously.

"Where else, my good Zebra!" Master Good practically hummed with excitement. "Stop at the Eighteenth, of course, must pick up the baggage and what-not." He stomped a hoof on the floor to emphasis his excitement, and with a silent sigh, the Zebra touched a hoof to the enchanted wall.

Creaking filled the air as the elevator shook its way down the Coliseum, coming to a shuddering halt at the Eighteenth floor. The metal grates opened slowly, revealing a scene of utter chaos. Well, maybe not chaos. Actually, to be fair, it was rather peaceful. But indeed the scene did give leave to the idea that there had been a great deal of chaos prior, chaos so great that in fact its atmosphere had leaked forwards in time to corrupt the time of the present that should have been peaceful.

There were only five ponies still standing, and one of them was covered from head to toe with blood soaked bandages, a fierce grin still decorating his face. Master Good's jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Ey there slave!" Slashy Songs said jauntily, wincing as he waved, his foreleg enveloped in bandages. "So they got you sold, huh?" He looked at the ground sheepishly and then to the pile of unconscious and bloodied ponies beside him. "Sorry about what I said about making you regret being born and all that. I... have anger issues. Got it all out here though, so I can whole heartedly wish ya good luck in all your endeavors 'n whatnot!"

I nodded slowly. That made sense. Kind of.

Salt nodded back. "Live well." She cocked her head behind her gasmask. "Or, at least as well as you can in slavery."

Dasher and Coin Shot looked at Salt, obviously surprised by her speaking to a mere slave. Dasher was the first to shake off her surprise and grinned at me calmly, wishing to me in body language what Salts had said in words. Probably. Coin Shot did the same but with a nod rather than a grin.

Around this time, Master Good regained control of his vocal cords and asserted himself on the situation.

"What in the sam't Tartarus is going on here!" He screeched, rapidly losing his composure. "MARCH! FORCE! Get your GODDESS-BE-DAM'T arses out here!" The looser pieces of the ceiling freed themselves with help from Good's voice and dropped to the ground in a haze of dust. My ears twitched in pain. A pair of squirming armored figures dislodged themselves from the mass of creatures splayed out on the ground and in a pile. They swiftly dusted themselves off and stood at attention, despite looking like they'd been through a food processor and back.

"Re-Reporting." One coughed, not budging an inch as a dislodged tooth fell from his mouth and clattered to the hard tile floor despite the fact that one of his legs was clearly broken in multiple places.

"Reporting, Master Good." The other said, less beat up than the first, but still in no condition to be standing. Master Good snarled and made a face that'd have made a lemon pucker. It occurred to me that I hadn't seen a lemon yet either. I made a mental note fix that.

Things to find: 1. Tomatoes, 2. Lemons.

Master Good raised a hoof as if to strike out at the ponies before him, but halted his actions with obvious reluctance, stroking at his mustache instead. "March, Force, we're leaving. Get your things." They saluted and limped towards the pony behind the counter, who pushed their weapons back to them without a word.

"Sir, Force and I are in need of--" A hoof wiped blood from his mouth "--Medical attention. Permission to seek it?"

Good slammed a hoof against the floor, disgusted with his subordinates. "Wah wah wah!" He mocked furiously. "All you fools do is whine! Get to work for once and prepare the elevator, we don't have time for your paper cuts." He exhaled harshly in an attempt to regain tranquility, once again reverting to smoothing his mustache with his hoof. "If you do your job well, I'll have someone treat to you when we get back to the camp, fair enough?"

"Yes, Master Good," They both repeated. March left a thin trail of blood from a wound in his side as he made his way into the elevator supported by Force.

Master Good turned back to myself and the other slaves and smiled sweetly, though it was more disgusting than nice now. A monster's smile. "Well, let's get going then?" He trotted past us and into the elevator after Force and March. His hooves clicked out a quick, irritated tune against the tiles. I forced myself to follow, despite knowing what I was following. The filly on my back let out a small terrified murmur, then went silent again. Her breathing wasn't too fast, or shallow or deep, but it was uneven. My hooves made sullen thuds. Lady Fantastic followed quickly behind me.

I caught Salt shaking her head sadly as the grate closed.

* * *

Master Good's larger entourage was waiting for us at the base of the Coliseum with several wagons and twelve ponies. One was a pegasus, but he stayed on the ground. Master Good and Chainsy rode in the foremost wagon, a large mountain of supplies and a sniper rifle wielding pony rode in the second, and the slaves rode in the last. There was one more slave aside from us, a bipedal dog with a bowtie, but he didn't speak at all, instead he just stared at the chains binding his wrists together. He smelled of blood and resignation.

"Get us moving, Sunny, I want to make it to the mansion before sundown." He smiled again, with childlike innocence and horrible understanding at the same time. "I want them to go in at sunset. Heros are always fighting evil in the night, and I think that might be for the best. Consider it a trial run."

The pony to which the lead wagon was attatched nodded and started moving, pulling the wagons around and starting back west.

In my wagon, Lady Fantastic had quieted her own sniffling and had her forelegs around the filly in an attempt to comfort her. It didn't seem to be working. There were two upraised sections of the wagon that I assumed were to be makeshift benches against the walls of the wagon. There was no back, just a empty space for loading and unloading. The ponies around us were walking casually, existing more as a presence than a force to keep us there. I doubt they expected us to make a run for it. They're guns looked well maintained. I didn't expect us to make a run for it either.

"Shh, shh, now. It's all okay..." Lady Fantastic whispered into the filly's ear. She sat on the same side of the wagon as the filly while I sat beside the dog. "Slavery can't be that bad. Sure it'll be hard work, but we'll live, don't you worry. Right Greeny?"

I nodded my assurance. A solitary sob rocked the filly's body.

"You don't get it, do you?" She said, nearly a whisper. "Do you have any idea who we're dealing with?"

Lady Fantastic looked at me, confused. I shrugged, unconcerned.

"No, I'm a bit new to the western waste." Lady Fantastic said, hooves still patting the filly on the back. "I think that's true for Greeny too." I nodded again.

The filly raised her head up, the gentle peach of her irises was discorded by the red surrounding it. As quick as she'd turned her gaze to us, she put her head back down and let out a few more sobs. Grey clouds formed a ceiling across the sky without mar nor gap. The desert surrounding us was desolate at best, now that the Coliseum was nearly out of sight. Only the tip of the enormous spire was visible at this distance. The only signs of life were burnt out campfires sparingly spaced and cacti that'd been slashed open for moisture.

Without warning, the vegetation became denser, and the light brown of the dusty shale became the mottled green gray of softer soil. I say the vegetation became denser, but really that meant there was more than one bush in sight at a single time. A cold breeze suddenly cut past us. I tried and failed to remember the season. Fall, maybe.

The filly shivered with the sudden cold. Her teeth might have been chattering, but if they were I couldn't hear them over the creaking and groaning of the wheels of the wagon.

Lady Fantastic was more animated. She suddenly pulled her limbs together and shivered as if it was the coldest breeze in the world, teeth chattering like bad static. Her labcoat probably didn't provide much protection against the elements. For the first time, I was thankful for the pseudoleather of my Stable jumpsuit.

I shifted uncomfortably. They were both cold. I was warm. My teeth grit.

I sighed and gave in to my instincts, plopping myself down between the two benches and pulling Fantastic and the filly into a semi embrace. The filly shied away from me, but didn't seem to begrudge the warmth. Lady Fantastic, on the other hoof got closer than I intended and put her face up to mine so that we our muzzles were almost touching.

"Oh, Greeny, I knew this would come," She said, voice filled with painfully honest dramatic flair, "But we cannot be together, for a life as a slave is rough alone, and can be far worse to a pair madly in love." She batter her eyelashes behind her yellow sunglasses. I stared at her coldly and pushed her back along the ground with a hoof until she was a healthier distance from me.

She shivered and her teeth began chattering as her lips pulled into a pout. "Okay, fine! I get it, you're not ready for how fantastic I am!" She whined, closing the distance between us again and pulling one of my forelegs over her neck while maintaining a frustrated and distant expression. "You will be one day, Greeny." She huffed, chin high in the air despite the fact she was using me as a shield against the wind.

A gruff laugh filled the air, sick and dark of humor. The dog grinned, eyes narrow and full of hate.

"Is nice to see ponies still full of life," His eyes glinted darkly, "Though they go to a place full of so much death."

Lady Fantastic's expression drooped, pulling herself closer to the dog, ears perked. "What? Do you know where we're going?" She said, cocking her head inquisitively. The wagon jumped as we slid over a rock along our path. The dog grinned at us, a knowing, malicious grin.

"Yes, Jack knows where the ponies go." His gaze shifted to the filly. "Jack thinks little pony knows too, though she is too scared to say." His throat filled with a growling laugh. The chains of his wrists clinked as he readjusted himself on the hard wooden bench. His eyes narrowed.

"The ponies go to Tanglewood." The filly quivered at the name, drawing herself nearer to me. The dog, Jack, grinned at our clueless expressions. "Maybe the little one knows more, eh? Maybe she tells you, so you can know how you die.

All eyes were on the little one. She shivered and took in a deep breath, steeling herself.

"We, at least the three of us, are a trio of slaves in the possession of Good Intentions." She looked towards the first wagon, barely visible over the mountain of supplies in the second wagon. "Everybody knows what happens to the slaves that are bought three at a time by Good Intentions. He goes out, far and wide, to cheap slave markets and expensive ones alike, seeking out ponies who fulfill his parameters. Those parameters aren't difficult to fill, nor does he ever verify his finds. He wants a smart one, a strong one, and a spunky one, to make up a story-book team. He wants a story-book team because he has a story-book problem that he needs to fix, and rather than try to use as much muscle as possible, he's somehow gotten it stuck in his mind that the only way to get it done is to send in 'heroic' trios. He's sending us to Tanglewood Manor, which is apparently his ancestral home, and according to rumor, he's looking for some sort of ancient magical heirloom." She sighed. "Not a single trio has ever come out, and he's been at this for the last eight years."

Lady Fantastic's face transitioned to concerned confusion to elation. "So... that means I'm the smart one?!" She squealed in glee. The filly stared at Fantastic, her jaw hanging open. I shrugged. Being sent into a mansion after a magical artifact wasn't as bad as anything I'd been imagining we'd be doing. At least I'd have the opportunity for some fun instead of working on a radioactive rock farm or something.

The filly reeled. "You're going to die," She said slowly, as if spelling it out for a mentally deficient foal. "And you're excited... about being called smart?"

Lady Fantastic nodded enthusiastically. She smiled brightly.

The filly slumped on the ground, her mind struggling to understand the stupidity that was the Lady Fantastic. Jack smirked and stared off into the distance.

Lady Fantastic patted the filly on the head. "So, what's your name anyways?"

The filly didn't look up. She just sat there. "Uh. I'm Lucky Fluke. Nice... to... meet you." She fell against me sideways and made not motion to get up.

Lady Fantastic grinned wickedly. "Fluke huh... sounds like that's exactly what we'll need kiddo. Maybe you'll get your cutie mark."

The wagon kept rolling, oblivious to Lucky Fluke's utter confusion.

* * *

"Ah, the Tanglewood Manor." Good Intention twirled his mustache, gazing upon the wizened structure admiringly. Wizened was being gracious. The entire structure of the Manor had been constructed of wood, and time hadn't been kind. In fact, if this Manor had been an abandoned puppy, time would have stopped to pet it, then slapped it full across the face and punted it into traffic. The building creaked and cracked with only the wind pressing against it, and it didn't press very hard because it found numerous slips and passes through the collapsed walls and broken windows that dotted the building like pre-war posters depicted flies on a Zebra.

Thinking about it, I'd seen several Zebras since getting up to the wastes, and not a single one of them had seen malevolent despite being in the business of slaving ponies.

Anyways, the mansion was bad. There was a short wall of stone running around the perimeter of the mansion, cracked, but still standing strong. It looked like there had been columns around the main entrance to the building, but they'd long since collapsed taking bits of the upper floors with them. Strangely enough, it seemed like the majority of the higher floors were indeed intact. There was one thing that seemed peculiar though, considering what I'd seen of the wasteland.

The plants. They were everywhere, and they didn't seem to be originating from the garden, instead they seemed to be growing outwards from the house. Large tendril like roots extended out of windows and side doors, sometimes just bursting out of the architecture without respect for designed openings. That was probably how the manor had stayed up all these years, plants slowly taking the place of the deteriorating supports and integral structures inside. The last rays of the sun played across an enormous yard and filtered through the structure itself. Regardless, the whole place still looked like one big--

"Deathtrap." Lady Fantastic muttered. The mare looked more annoyed than scared or angry. "How are smarts supposed to help me in a place like that?"

"Are you seriously just getting this now?" Lucky Fluke's voice screamed of frustration. "We are going to die."

Lady Fantastic gave a cocky grin and patted Fluke on the head. "Ah, we'll be fine." She hopped down from the wagon, hooves thudding against the softer soil. She held her chin high. "You've got me on your team after all." Fluke groaned in that special way kids do when adults are being stupid and headbutted the side of the wagon in frustration.

"Slave!" One of the guards who'd been surrounding our wagon shouted. "Who the fuck told you to get off of that wagon?!"

Lady Fantastic raised an eyebrow in a rare moment of actual intelligence. "Weren't... you going to tell us to get down?"

The guard sputtered. "Well, yeah, but-- just--"

Lady Fantastic moved in on the guard. "Aw, babe, you don't have to try and impress me. Fantastic thinks you're already... fantastic." She licked the side of the guard's face, slowly and sensually. The guard mare's face went red, and she backed up far more rapidly than would be dignified under most circumstances, let alone this one.

"Just-- just get the rest of the slaves down from there, minus the dog!" She squealed, running off towards the head of the wagon train.

I stared at Lady Fantastic. Lady Fantastic stared back, waggling her tail. "I think she likes me Greeny. Whadya think?" I nodded and turned my gaze to the horizon. Nothing for miles. More and more plants as proximity to the mansion increased, but not a single farming building or similar structure marred the surrounding landscape.

I hopped down to stand beside Fantastic. There was a thud as something landed on my back. I turned my head to face Fluke, who was standing nonchalantly on my back.

"Listen Lollipops," She said, her fear evidently gone, overridden by frustration, "If I'm going to die young, I'm going out in style. Also, I'm not walking."

"Lollipops?" Fantastic looked at me with an amused expression. "Greeny's name is Lollipops?"

"Sunshine Lollipops, actually," Fluke said, standing tall and superior on my back.

Fantastic gave me an amused grin. "I think I'll stick with Greeny. It fits you better, what with you being all green and whatnot." I shrugged. It certainly did fit me better than Lollipops, Cutie Mark or not.

"Ahem!" Our attentions were drawn to Good Intentions, who was standing proudly at the gate to the manor. "Heroes, come here please." The three of us pushed our way past guards, who for the most part stood out of our way, and lined up in front of our benefactor. He smiled innocently and twirled his mustache happily. "It's so good to know I have some folks in my employ who can actually follow directions." He turned and gestured at the Manor with his tophat.

"This," He paused dramatically, "Is the Ancestral home of the Goods. During the war near two hundred years ago, we were forced to take shelter in a local Stable. Needless to say, we were elected as overseers, and led the Stable to prosperity. About a hundred years ago, we chose to lead our people from the Stable, and came to our mansion to reclaim what was ours. Unfortunately, we returned to this mess." He turned back to us. "Sadly, we haven't been able to reclaim anything at all, really. Everyone we send in winds up dead, killed by some monster thing living inside my home."

He grinned. "Which is where you come in. You are the heroes that I carefully selected to have the honor of entering my ancestral home, and defeating the beast that lays within."

Dust rose as he dragged one of his hooves across the entrance to the grounds, drawing a line in the chalky soil that must have been a stone pathway at some point.

"Conky, get their collars off." A small mare walked over shyly and unlocked our collars with a key. Which is weird. Because my collar wasn't from her, so how would they have the key? Thinking of that, all of the collars did seem strangely uniform. I guess they had a common lock and key too. The fur around my neck bristled and rustled at its regained freedom, and the wind playing across it was a symphony in itself. Fantastic smiled brightly as her collar was removed, but Fluke frowned.

"Over the line, if you'd please." Lady Fantastic hopped over the line, not letting her hooves touch it. I followed in a less enthusiastic manner with Fluke on my back. My fur seemed to glisten as I crossed the line, and my ears twitched furiously.

"Sunshine," Fluke whispered into my ears as they stopped flickering, "Did you just... sparkle?" I snorted and shook my head.

"So, as you've seen, we've removed your collars." Good Intentions explained. "What this means, is that if you complete this last task, you're free. Naturally, if you try to return or escape without completing your task, we'll simply mow you down. If you return with the Head of the beast, we'll let you three, or whoever's left, on their way. Got it?"

We nodded.

He smiled brightly. "This is the first time I've ever sent heroes in at night, so maybe that'll be the disadvantage you need for your heroics to kick in. Good luck, brave heroes!"

I started walking towards the dark, abandoned building, Lady Fantastic following close behind. Fluke began to shiver again.

"Oh!" Good Intentions called out, "And if you find a magical rod that has plants surrounding it and bring it to me, I'll let you free and pay you a thousand caps each, regardless of if you've taken care of the beast or not! It's a precious family Heirloom and it's very special. The Magical Scepter of Fertility it's called. Makes plants grow, as you can see. Good luck!"

So, find the magic rod or kill a monster that has destroyed everyone sent into the mansion before, regardless of weaponry or skill.

Right, rod.

I looked to Lady Fantastic. "Magic rod, right?" I nodded. "You okay with that kiddo?"

Lucky Fluke nodded. "As if any sane pony would go after the unknown monster that has rendered every mission into this mansion futile and killed them without leaving a single survivor." My thoughts exactly.

We swiftly crossed the yard, jumping over stupidly large roots and other growths until we made it to the gargantuan slabs of oak that could only barely be called a door.

Lady Fantastic blew a lock of hair out of her face. "Ready?"

"Ready." Fluke said, positioning herself defensively on my back. I nodded. The sun disappeared beneath the horizon as the day settled into night.

"Knock it down, Greeny." She commanded. I rolled my eyes and pushed the door inwards gently. It swung open without resistance, despite the rust on the hinges.

She gave me a flat stare. "You have no sense of style." She walked forwards sullenly, head hanging. I rolled my eyes and followed. The entry hall was big. I glanced about. Not big enough to match the rest of the building though. It was seemed like strange a strange construction, though I wasn't exactly an architect. Roots and plants seemed thicker inside than out. The last remains of sunlight faded quickly, plunging the room into darkness.

Nopony moved.

"Uh, Greeny, you got a plan for this?" Fantastic's voice called out, less confident than any time before.

Suddenly, soft blue light began to flow from hundreds of different points in the room, and quiet humming filled the air. Flowers. Bioluminescent flowers, everywhere, opening. The light revealed hundreds more buds, slowly opening into even more luminescent flowers. They were beautiful. I glanced behind us, the door slowly creaked shut, and the quiet humming stopped. Spells, probably from hundreds of years gone. In a house like this, they'd probably been old when the war came around. None of the flowers seemed to be blooming around the windows... so photophobic bioluminescent flowers? There was a lot wrong with that. I guess that's kind of how radiation rolls. My pipbuck beeped softly as if to agree with me.

"Nicely done, Greeny." Fantastic said, eyes wide with awe.

"Whoa..." Fluke obviously agreed.

Lady Fantastic shook her head, throwing off her sense of awe and slapper her face with her hooves to get her head into the game. She then ran behind me and headbutted me forwards, into the center of the room and towards the nearest door.

"Okay, so all we have to do, is stay away from the dark, and get to the middle of the house, get the rod, and get out."

I stopped in the middle of the room and turned around to give her a questioning look. The floor creaked as I stepped around on it.

"Why would we avoid the dark and get to the middle of the house?" Fluke vocalized my confusion from her spot on my back.

Fantastic looked at us like we were idiots. "Well, if you were a rich prick from two hundred years ago, where would you keep the treasure? And if you were a monster that nobody saw coming, where would you hide?"

Both Fluke and I stared at Fantastic in amazement. "Fantastic, that's... actually not a bad idea." Fantastic's grin could have melted the coldest ice.

"I know, right!" She began leaping up and down with excitement. "I am smart, I am smart! I'm the best and greatest! I'm Fantaaaaaaaastic!" She chanted. The floor groaned again, this time louder than before, but Fantastic either didn't hear it or she wasn't deterred.

Suddenly, the floorboards beneath our hooves splintered, and Fantastic and I dropped into the darkness. I felt the weight of Fluke leave my back as she leapt to safety. The floor came as suddenly as the floorboards splintered. I heard bones break over Fantastic and Fluke's screams as I slammed into the cold concrete fo the basement floor. There was a second, meatier thud as Fantastic crashed down on me. My vision began to fade to black.

The last thing I heard before my consciousness faded was Fantastic.

"Oh... I fucked up."

And then darkness.