Kinky Sex Disasters

“Oh drat! This is terrible! Just terrible! I simply must get my fainting couch.” Rarity looked into a box with a great deal of distress, upstairs at Carousel Boutique.

“Oh, Rarity, what's the matter?” Fluttershy timidly approached her marefriend, attempting to look into the box as well.

“Fluttershy, darling, can you believe it? Here I ordered a casual business suit so as to study the new styles, and was sent something else entirely!” She pulled out a thick booklet whose face stated, Instructions for the Tarantella 3000 mana-infused all-purpose, all-race Gimp suit. “This will take ages to sort out and set me back. This is the. Worst. Possible. Thing!”

“I-it's not so bad. I mean, they still sent you a suit. Maybe you can learn about that. I've never even heard of a 'gimp suit', or any clothing that needs an instruction manual.”

“Allow me to introduce you sometime to the Neighponese kimono. I assure you, instructions would prove most helpful. But as to this matter... as ever, my darling, you are quite correct. I may turn this disaster into a learning opportunity! Let me simply open this booklet...”

Rarity levitated her working glasses onto her face as she opened past the table of contents to the introduction page. “Congratulations and thank you for purchasing the Tarantella 3000, the latest and greatest in personal intimate wear for the discerning user... Oh, that's it. It's some form of intimate apparel. I know all about such things. Ahem. Tarantella gimp suits are a favorite of the noble class, and each new iteration strives to continue that grand tradition. Goodness! Endorsed by nobility. It would indeed be worthwhile to study this new thing. Fluttershy! Can I count on you to be my model, as ever?”

“Oh! I'm not... not sure. I mean, I love your dresses and things but the intimate wear is embarrassing. I can barely stand the swimwear. All the frills and lace are, um, so brief and daring. I don't know if I can manage...”

“You must, you must, you must!" Rarity rubbed against the blushing pegasus, smiling winningly. “I promise, darling, modeling intimates will be the ideal way for you to gain valuable experience. You do want that, do you not?”

“Of course I do.” Fluttershy softened and rubbed against Rarity. “I'll do my best.”

“Now let me just read ahead a bit to make certain I do not make any odd errors...” Rarity flipped ahead in the manual and scanned her eyes down the page, her look growing more and more incredulous as she went along.

“Um, is something the matter, Rarity?”

“Why these instructions... they are ridiculous! They sound more like the instructions for assembling stereo equipment or cheap Hästish furniture from Equea. This is not how I imagined noble-endorsed haute couture at all. They even describe the suit itself in ridiculous terms.”

“The Tarantella 3000 operates as a unisex, one-size-fits-all all-encompassing garment with modular points for ease of use and comfort for the sub.”

“'Sub'?” Fluttershy tilted her head and scratched at her pink mane.

“That is precisely what it says, and in just that form. Sub... Oh! I see. It must indicate 'subject' as in the wearer of the suit. Obviously these instructions would be for the valet or other servant, for the dressing of an important pony. But how grammatically atrocious. There should at least be a period following such an abbreviation, if not the letter 'j' and a period. I question the quality and credentials of a company with a misprinted manual. Should we even continue onward?”

“Please do Rarity. I don't mind odd wording. I'm actually very curious about wearing a suit made for the rich and important ponies. Oh, not to be too bold or immodest.”

“Oh relish that desire, darling. On you it fits so well.” Rarity blew a kiss and dropped a wink. “It would appear this does as well. Through the use of mana-infused celluloid-oleaginous compounds in the material exact fitting can be guaranteed for all those within the small to large sizing band. And you, as I know very well, fall perfectly within, petite but perfect.”

Fluttershy blushed deeply, but perked her ears and tilted her head. “'Celluloid-oleaginous compounds'? What does that mean?”

“Now that you bring it to my attention, it is a very strange thing... let me remove a piece of the suit itself. This looks to be a sleeve for the upper body.” Rarity lifted the sleeve from the box, causing an entire pony-body-shaped garment to emerge. It was black, shiny and slick, with zippers over the back, neck and tail portion, as well as open portions on the back and belly. “My word! This is... this is plastic! Oh cruel joke! Oh horrid pranksters! To think that anything could ever be high fashion and made entirely of plastic!”

“Oh um, um... maybe it's... avant garde? They like strange things like that. I'll bet Photo Finish has several of them. Wasn't her skirt made of plastic?”

“Hmmm, you may be right, darling. I do seem to recall Photo Finish being accoutred thus. I would not put it past an eccentric such as her to enjoy such attire. I shall, as they say, press on with this examination of the instructions. As a garment both unisex and suitable for all conventional pony races, it comes with several modular pieces suitable for the encasement of specific anatomical portions. For sex-specific anatomy there has been provided a space at the belly to which may be attached the male or female accessory, noted in the diagram of parts as {E} and {F}. Admittedly I skipped that diagram but... wait...” Rarity pulled up a rather large black plastic cup that was well-shaped to indicate the male anatomy, like a codpiece but sculpted. Both she and Fluttershy shared blushes. “Ahh, yes, ahem, this... this would appear to be the portion for males.”

“Oh my... nobles are very... gifted.”

“Not from what I have heard, darling. I do believe this may be an example of... overcompensating. After all, this is to be worn by the nobility. They must give an exaggerated picture of themselves... case in point.” Rarity held up another black plastic piece, shaped as two large globes with thick peaks. “As if, darling. Why not even your generous teats match such things. They would be the product of surgery. Or perhaps suitable for a cow. Maybe this was a molding mistake from the bovine line.”

“It's so... blatant. And eye-catching. Is this really something to be worn out?”

“Those nobles are certainly good at one thing, and that is drawing attention to themselves. Yes, I do believe they would indeed wear this to draw attention to themselves and their... parts. Such attention drawing drama queens.” Rarity bounced her mane and coughed. “Let us continue. For racial differences, the rear portion can remold after some adjustment for the merae, the back portion is open for the wings of a pegasus and the head portion contains an opening for a unicorn's horn. The removable panels over the back and forehead portions may then be replaced by, as appropriate, the wing covers, {D} or horn cap {C}. My. They certainly are thorough, are they not?”

“A suit with a head portion? What kind of head portion? Do they mean some kind of crown? Because it sounds like a helmet... and even the avant garde wouldn't have a helmet. Would they?”

“Stranger things have happened in fashion, darling. Recall your attire when dressing in retro fashion. But let me see... here is the horn cap... odd that any unicorn would cover their horn. Here are the wing covers. You certainly could not fly in these. Strictly decorative. For certain values of 'decorative.' Here...” Rarity pulled out the last piece without comment. It was a full-head mask. A zipper at the neck matched up with the zipper on the neck of the outfit. Zippers were also placed over the area of the eyes and the mouth.

“Wh-what is that?”

“This, darling, is what can only be titled the death of fashion. Look upon it well. The final prank played upon every true fashionista by those of the surrealist avant garde. How the nobility could wear this and not know they were ridiculous is beyond me. Even strutting peacocks have more decency than to wear such frippery. And even if it was worth the utter ridiculousness, how would one identify another wearing this thing? I do suppose this means you will not be needed to model this frightful contrivance.”

“Umm, Rarity... I don't... don't mind wearing it. I need the experience, like you said. And even if it is nothing but a joke, the nobility like it. And... I always wanted to be like that, at least once in my life.” Fluttershy looked to Rarity with her usual large, liquid eyes, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Of course darling. I can deny you nothing. And even if this is the most ungainly and ugly thing invented by noble ponies...” Rarity cut off her own rant to smile a beatific smile at Fluttershy. “Even then... if you wish to wear the trappings of the nobility, I will indulge you. Come then, I suppose this head portion will go on first.

Using a combination of magic and hoof work, Rarity managed to slip the rubber hood over Fluttershy's head. The zippers over the eyes had been closed by default and the zipper over the mouth open. After it had been settled into place, Fluttershy noted, “Rarity, I hate to be a bother but, um, this is very dark. And I don't like darkness.”

“Apologies, let me fix this...” Rarity's magic tugged the zippers over the eyes open. As soon as they were pulled, the zipper over the mouth closed. “Oh! My word...” Fluttershy made a few vocalizations and then turned on her softest, most trembling puppydog eyes.

The mouth zipper opened up and closed the eye zippers again, prompting the trembling pegasus to note, “I don't mean to complain but this is very scary. Please do something...”

A few more attempts to fix the situation resulted in the same thing, causing Rarity to cry in frustration and flip through the manual while Fluttershy looked on her with her big eyes. “Misfit magical foolishness... here... The head portion has been enchanted to assure ease of use and optimal functioning to assure the proper action of the sub. The eye ports or mouth port can be open but not at the same time. As well, both may be closed at once. Of all the ridiculous nonsense!” Rarity pulled the hood from Fluttershy with a huff. “Darling, I know your dream, but this smacks of a prank worthy of Pinkie Pie.”

“I didn't like it. But I'm always uncomfortable in all those fancy outfits. I can do this. I know I can. Maybe the suit part first?”

“If you insist, darling. But I do this under protest. As a fashionista and as your marefriend I hate to see you subjected to these... horrors. Come then, step into this.” Rarity laid the open suit portion on the ground, which let Fluttershy settle her legs into the provided sleeves. They all ended in something akin to boots, with padding on the inside and rigid walls, which would affect her walking ability. Her motions would be a bit stiff-legged. The material slid up along her form, hanging a bit loosely but still forming along her figure. Her tail was tucked inside, where it went through a ring of plastic and emerged inside a cleverly hidden sleeve. As the suit came up and over her back she slid her wings through the provided openings. It was finally zipped up, leaving her lower body covered, save for her teats and wings. “Ugh! How unflattering. The color and sheen are grossly inappropriate for your mane and coat, the material hangs in a most horrendous way and it exposes you so blatantly! Though I suppose...” Almost as an afterthought Rarity brought up the cupped panel and placed it on the belly portion, giving Fluttershy a touch of modesty.

“Oh thank you. I felt so exposed. How strange that something I never think about without an outfit could make me so embarrassed now that I have one. I know it looks bad but we've come this far. Are you... are you sure my wings need to be covered?”

“I am afraid so. I just noticed a small warning. Note: For full functionality of outfit all panels and accessories must be attached according to proper racial specifics. This is ludicrous. Like stereo instructions from Tartarus...” Rarity grumbled about it, but still dutifully slid the plastic covers onto Fluttershy's wings. They fit loosely, almost bag-like over the faintly-moving appendages. “I trust that is not too uncomfortable.”

“I can still move them, even if the bases are a bit thick. It's hard to get good speed. But at least my feathers are free to move. I think... I think I can put on the head now. Just leave the eyes open so it's not too scary.”

“As you wish, dear.” Rarity lifted the hood and shook her head a bit. “Love makes fools of us all. To think that I, of all ponies, would inflict this fashion disaster upon the mare I love.” The hood came back down, and was secured to the lower portion by the provided zipper. “Do you feel any more... regal or noble? I would say, with perhaps some bias, you were far more glowing and regal in your own pelt.”

Fluttershy mumbled out a comment then looked down at her zippered mouth, pointing to it with her booted hoof. When it opened she noted, “I feel strange, very claustrophobic. But I still want to see. Can you bring over a mirror? Oh, quickly. I don't want to be in the dark too long.”

“But of course.” Rarity opened the eye zippers and used her magic to bring a three-panel mirror over. “Look well on the folly and excess of the noble ponies. To think I once envied them. Tell me, dear, what do you think of it?”

The zipper opened up and Fluttershy said, “It's... nice. But, um, do the instructions say anything else? How to make it... enjoyable? I don't understand how it could be so popular.”

“Let me see... here, this may be it. To activate full functionality of the outfit as intended, released the stored mana charge in the head portion by squeezing both ear tips at once. Perhaps this will give some relief. It may even allow both eyes and mouth to open at once. All this fuss and bother...” Rarity used her magical aura to squeeze the ear tips as indicated.

A rippling shimmer of dark purple mana ran along the suit from head to tail and ear tips to hooves. The suit reacted very swiftly to that. First the mouth zipper shut very quickly and firmly. Then the material gave a tremendous creak and suddenly squeezed inward, molding perfectly to Fluttershy's body. The molding extended to the wing covers, forming tight to the wings then suddenly slamming them to the sides of the suit. The cups at the belly went down to a reasonable size, pulling in to cup at the real swells of flesh beneath.

The process shocked both ponies, and happened so quickly neither could respond intelligently. Once it was concluded, however, Fluttershy responded quite violently. She reared up, with as much dexterity as the clinging garment would allow and kicked her legs, attempting to reach up for the mask that clung to her. The small breathing ports rang with her muffled squeaks and squeals. The held-down wings struggled and twitched, signs of her desperate attempts to flap them. She struggled and twitched in place for a time before she started to charge around the room, toppling everything in her path and slamming into the walls and furniture over and over.

During Fluttershy's struggle Rarity was in a blind panic, trying to pull down the zippers, pull off pieces or somehow deactivate the strange effect. When the galloping and thrashing thwarted her attempts she turned to the manual and flipped through it with a frantic desperation. “Deactivation, deactivation, deactivation... what sort of manual is this?! What kind of product is this? Is there a tech support number?!”

ATTN: Tarantella Adult Novelty and Specialty Attire Company, Inc,

Enclosed pleased find all the material of a Tarantella 3000 Gimp Suit, rent to pieces. It was shipped to me in error, a situation which shall not be repeated in the future, once the manner in which such a confusion happened is discovered and rectified. On attempting to see how the suit functioned my model and marefriend was subjected to a horror that shall never be repeated again, I assure you. This suit makes a mockery of all things fashionable. I care not how many noble endorsements you have. If the nobles feel comfortable in such a monstrosity, that is their business. But I will certainly never endorse such a product nor you, the company which made it. And you will find my words are both powerful and far-reaching. Fire your designers, and your manual-writers. It was useless once the activation had occurred. And was filled with grammatical errors. The proper form is sub. or subj. as preferred by the writer.

Our business is thus concluded.

Rarity, co-proprietress of Carousel Boutique, Ponyville