“And welcome back to Hey You, Down There; the only show that heartily recommends you fuck the robot pirate fox!”

“Let me guess, this is something you have personal experience with.”

“You know it. A knotted penis is a wonderful thing, but I had to pay attention to him all the time or he'd start screaming. He also had some bad company as friends, and he smelled weird too. But damn, was that dick worth it!”

“I've barely been here for 10 minutes, and I'm already regretting not just this, but all of my life's decisions up to this point.”

“I was getting to you, shut up. The two of us, Pinkie and Discord (me), aren't enough to make a story interesting, so we brought in another guest. I would have expected you to recognize her voice if this wasn't a visual medium, so please welcome the DJ musician pony, Vinyl Scratch. She'll be borrowing Lyra's manner of speaking because we need to keep the budget down and reuse assets.”

“So does that technically make this arc a crossover with Scratch That?”

“Crossover with what? Am I 'from' something else?”

“Speaking of which, when's the next chapter of that coming out? I know it says it's On Hiatus at the time of this recording, but it's been months since the last update. Author?”

Sure enough, the human version of Bristle was sitting in his chair, a controller in his hand. “New Smash Bros, shut up. Also, Bayonetta. And Tomodachi Life. Basically, I've got my life for the next month or two settled.”

“Which, incidentally, means that he won't be taking part of this part of the story. Good, the self-insert wasn't needed at all. We're going back to the old style, starring just us. Back to basics, it's easier this way. We're lazy asses, what do you expect?”

“We're not even doing anything besides dialogue. Might as well be a script.”

“Why did you bring me in, then, and why do I need to be held here against my will?”

“Three's a bigger number than two, and that's good. Threesomes are better than just plain sex, that's common knowledge.”

“Wouldn't know, never had one. I only want one of my holes filled with cock at a time.”

“Doesn't mean you couldn't have a two-girl threesome. That's the hotter one anyway.”

“Now isn't the time to go into detail about my sex life.”

“Are you kidding?! There probably isn't a better time! Feel free to share as many of the intimate details that you can remember!”

“No, later. If you're here, then we don't need to wait any longer, it's time to go on vacation to the human world. Something important is going to happen at Canterlot High, and I think it's our time to take the spotlight in this story with my name in the title. Are you guys packed?”

“I've got a suitcase full of sex toys, and that's enough to get me through any situation I've come across.”

“Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that we're going to come back escaping from the local police?”

The front of Canterlot High was peaceful. That was to be expected, classes were in progress, everyone was busy. That's why no one noticed when the unicorn statue began pouring people from the base. Most of the school knew it was a portal to another dimension after Twilight and Bristle's adventures a few months ago, but who knows what someone passing by would think.

“Comfortable pavement, isn't it? Much better form of travel than a chariot, wouldn't you say?”

Vinyl looked over her new, wholly unfamiliar body. She was standing on two legs now, both sets of hooves replaced with completely different appendages with 5 protrusions. Not that she could see her feet, because she landed in the dimension fully clothed, with neon sneakers, a white jacket with skirt, and hot purple leggings. Her trademark goggles were already over her eyes, and large headphones around her neck.

She was paying more attention to her bodily changes, and right now it was the two decently large lumps on her chest. “Are...are these my tits? What are they doing all the way up here, and why are they so big?”

Admiring the new body his pink friend with benefits was rocking, Discord suddenly had a realization, something he should have thought of before making the travel plans. “Okay, nobody panic, but there seems to be a crucial detail that I overlooked. As you know, we have counterparts in this dimension. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you met them?”

“Ooh, ooh! We'd be best friends, because we have so much in common!”

“I'm lost again. What is this about alternate counterparts?”

“Well, that's not the case. If you lock eyes or touch each other, it'd be enough to tear open a rip in existence and implode all universes into a black hole ultraverse. So, um...don't do that.”

“Well, that sounds pretty limiting, not being allowed to interact with one of the main characters.” Pinkie considered her options, maybe a loophole to get around such a cosmic rule. And she may have had one. “You said I can't look at or touch the Pinkie here because we're the same? Well, what if I wasn't the same?”

“That'd be a little bit difficult, considering the identical genetic makeup and all. You are Pinkie Pie.”

“That's where you're wrong! I am no longer the same Pinkamena Diane Pie you once knew. For now, I am my original character, Blinkie Pie! It also happens to be my sister's name, but I'm sure I can make that work.”

“That's probably the worst idea I've heard. Do it, I'll be assed if it works.”

“Are you betting on whether all life as we know it is going to be exterminated? I mean, I've made some questionable bets in my time, but this unquestionably tops everything I've ever wagered on. I'll throw 5 bits on the pot, betting on this 'Blinkie' shit.”

“Don't think I don't see the shit you're trying to pull. I think it's time we do this hooperscotch! Through the front doors, my trusty bitches!”

Only an hour later, the trio were sitting back at the statue that housed the link between worlds. Blinkie broke the silence with what they were all thinking. “Well, this vacation sucks. Why did you think a high school was the ideal vacation spot?”

“It called to me. I thought something exciting was going to happen, something worthy of reviving this story for.”

“Listen, I already graduated high school. I didn't do it well, but I made it through once. I was free from education, you're not dragging me back.”

“Unfortunately, our itinerary dictates that we're staying for another week, so we need to find something to do for entertainment. We could go live in a nearby mall and do what we want, cause complete mayhem in the streets of the city, or fuck the people that live here...” Discord was interrupted by three girls walking past, with a certain purpose to their stride. He turned back to his companions. “Three girl group, three of us, I think we can make this work.”

“So we're going to spend our time off doing basically the same thing we already do, except with different girls? Sure, I'll go along with it.”

“I'm not a lesbian, but I have the feeling I don't have much of a say in the matter because you're the ones that know how to get back. I'll play along, I guess. We calling dibs, or what?”

“Blue one.” The three of them all looked at each other, and the conflict began.

“I'm the one that arranged this trip, I think it's only fair that I get the hottest one.”

“No, you guys don't have the sensitivity to handle a cute girl. N-not that I'm trying to take her, I-I'm just going to protect her from you assholes. Which would most likely involve protecting her asshole from you. This went in a very different direction, just start ignoring me.”

“Just looking at them, I feel like the others are better fits for you guys. I don't know which would be which, but I'm sure you could decide who gets that orange Hipz fo Hours there, and the Tsundere Tyrant purple one. We need better names.”

“Alright, making it official; orange one is 'Hipz', purple is 'Tsu-Tsu', and Miss Beautiful Blue can be 'Sexy'. How does that sound?”

“Terrible, but we'll survive. Maybe.”

“Okay then, next time on Discord's Guide, we'll perform our natural mating calls and score ourselves some sex partners in an attempt to stave off boredom. Maybe some evil plot will start, you never know when I get involved in things.”

“My mating call sounds like a goose.”

Author's Note

I think I'm seriously going to need feedback on this, because as much of a Monado Boy as I am, I wasn't really feeling this one. Getting a little tired, so I need to know if I'm still able to do this, or if I should really wait until I can step it up.