"Ah, so this is what school sports fields look like."

Twilight and Bristle were standing outside the school, in front of the soccer field, where there was a lone girl on the grass kicking a ball around. Her rainbow-colored hair gave her identity away. Twilight concurred with her partner. "Yeah, I didn't visit our fields in school either. The library didn't have a view of the games."

"I can only assume that's Rainbow Dash there. I would be amazed if there were two girls with rainbow hair." Bristle inspected Rainbow closer as she moved all around. "And she's wearing shorts under her skirt. That sucks."

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. "You're still on that? I was really hoping you'd either forgotten or given up."

"Well, it's not like it's the only thing I'm trying to do, but it's certainly not a bad thing either. I think it's a solid goal."

Twilight's backpack unzipped itself, and Spike's head popped out. "I'll concur, he's got things figured out. I'm jealous."

"Hey, if you want, I can take pictures."

Twilight groaned. "You boys are all the same, it's disgusting."

"Well, you don't have to worry about us. You've got Sunset Shimmer, after all."

Twilight blushed hard and got angry, slapping Bristle across the face. He barely reacted. "I deserved that. You hit like a pussy, by the way."

"Hold on, who is that in the bleachers? She looks familiar too, but she's a little too far away to tell."

Spike looked towards the stands, and instantly knew who he was looking at. After all, he had seen her so much in his dreams, fantasies, and clops. "This dimension has a Rarity too?" He jumped out of the backpack, landed on the grass, and sprinted towards her. Twilight and Bristle followed suit, at a much slower pace.

By the time they caught up, Spike was already curled up in Rarity's lap as she scratched under his ears. She looked up from the adorable pet. "Oh, is he yours? He just jumped up here and wanted to climb onto my lap. He's just so cute, I couldn't resist." Spike rubbed his cheek against her skirt, pressing against the front of her crotch. "A-ah, you shouldn't touch a girl there, little guy."

Twilight pulled Spike away, who was trying to hold on, pulling Rarity's skirt away with him, at least a little. In the immediately-following awkwardness, Spike let go and started wagging his tail, Rarity frantically pulled her skirt up before anyone could get too good a look, and Bristle took it in while he could.

"You're too kind to us, Spike."

"Not enough! Take it all off, Rarity! Right in the field, it'd be kinky as fuck! DO IT!"

Twilight scolded Spike. "No! Bad Spike! You should know better than being a pervert!" Spike whimpered in response.

Rarity, though still flustered, blushing very visibly under her white coat, and holding her skirt down, vouched for Spike's innocence. "Don't be so hard on him, he didn't mean to do that."

Twilight wanted to correct her that yes, he purposefully exposed her, but she probably shouldn't out herself by saying she's got a talking dog. "Doesn't make it acceptable behavior. We're here to talk to Rainbow Dash about joining our fight against Sunset Shimmer."

"So you're the ones who are taking Sunset Shimmer on. I'm at the center of rumors around school, I've heard about your plans. I wouldn't recommend it, she's got power, but it sounds like you're determined to go forward with this. I do have to ask, what's your reasoning for asking Rainbow Dash?"

"Fluttershy told us that Rainbow Dash was too popular and too good at sports to be ostracized just because Sunset starts saying things." Twilight then gently slapped Spike's head for trying to reach to Rarity's boobs.

"I don't remember Spike being this horny any time I saw him. My little dragon is growing up."

"Don't go crying on me now, Pinkie. You're getting sentimental because a dragon you know is becoming sexual."

"Hey, it's not a bad thing. He's finally becoming a true man. Also, he's pretty attractive, wouldn't mind it when he's legal."

"I suppose that's true, but you're carrying some weight with her. Without a doubt, she'll take up any chance to put Sunset Shimmer in her place, but she could go a little far. I'm not sure if I should be telling you this, but Rainbow is an ex-girlfriend of Sunset, and things ended very badly between them. She'll be out for blood."

Bristle gave a thumbs up. "Blood is exactly what we need. We've got suspicions that shit is going down if she wins the Fall Formal crown, and drastic measures might have to be taken if things get that bad."

Rainbow stopped her practice and made her way to the seats. "How d'ya think I did, sweetie?"

Twilight, Bristle, and Spike all looked at each other, somehow all convinced she was talking to one of them. Probably for the best that Rarity did stand up and take the initiative by embracing Rainbow. "What do you expect me to say, darling? You're pretty confident in your abilities already." And then they kissed.

"Yes! Yes!"

"And there's no chemistry between them. Ah, the days when putting random characters together was all we had to do for a quick buck."

The other side of the group was absolutely shocked. Twilight would have never imagined these two friends specifically in a romantic relationship, Bristle was happy that their sexual tension was resolving itself, and Spike had to cover up his little doggy dong and slink into the backpack again.

Rainbow broke from the kiss to address their guests. "Hey, I'm Rainbow Dash, but my reputation precedes me, right? Shouldn't you be in class?"

"I could say the same thing to you," Bristle replied. "I've heard from your little lover girl here that you would be all over helping us helping Twilight become Fall Formal Princess instead of Sunset Shimmer. As long as you can control yourself from murdering her until we say it's okay, we'd love to have you."

Rainbow cringed and scratched her neck. "See...here's the thing. Believe me, I hate Sunset Shimmer more than anyone else, and you know why. But that same reason is why I can't help. Because of our time together, she's got way too much shit on me. If I actively try to hunt her down, she will unleash all hell on me. I'd love to help you guys, but I still have a future to think of."

Rarity was the most surprised at her girlfriend. "This is a new side of you, Rainbow. I fully expected you to act bold and brash, just jump in without thinking of the consequences."

"Hey now, I'm perfectly willing to play things a little safer when it's obvious that I'm going to fail in a way that affects me personally. Sorry, but I'm staying out of this one."

Twilight put her hand on Rainbow's shoulder. "Come on, Rainbow. We need you to finally remove Sunset Shimmer from power. If you join us, we have a chance to win."

Bristle also tried to convince Rainbow. "If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. The only way to win is to fight."

"You stole that from Attack on Titan."

He ignored Twilight. "Point is, the only way you can possibly free yourself from this constant torture and anxiety is to put her in her place. The Sunset regime is coming to an end, and soon she will be replaced by a new reign of terror! MY reign of terror!" He laughed loud and evilly.

"Well...this is finally getting interesting."

"Okay...might have gone a little far on that, but I think you understand what I'm getting at. You're our best shot, if not for the difficulty of getting rid of you, then your passion for the hatred. I'll do what I must to get that crown back, but I shouldn't resort to beating her up and forcibly taking it back after an honest win."

Rainbow looked at him skeptically. "You're completely insane, aren't you?"

"Definitely."

Rainbow sighed. "I'll...think about it."

"That's all I ask. I think that's enough for us here, come on, Twilight. Might as well do something else. Bye Rainbow and Rarity. And I know you didn't introduce yourself, I just know your name, we're psychic, ask Pinkie."

They left only seconds after Bristle said his odd farewell, leaving the lovers so incredibly confused.

The rest of their day was uneventful. Avoiding Sunset Shimmer, planning out battle strategies...

"Slapping unicorns, going into space, breaking out of jail..."

"Stop! That's a copyrighted song! You can't use the lyrics without permission!"

"You trying to tell me that Danny Sexbang, chillest dude in the universe, would take legal action because we're just using a line from a song? We're pretty safe, right, Lyra?"

"I'm...staying out of this one."

Night had fallen, and since they didn't have a place to stay, Twilight made it her first effort to make a bed in the library. Bristle didn't feel like arguing. "Alright, I know you've got a thing for libraries, but is this really the most comfortable place in the school?"

"Didn't it just say he wasn't arguing?"

"That's not arguing, that's very clearly just raising a question."

"Well, I do like libraries. I've lived in libraries for years now, I'm just a lot more comfortable when I'm surrounded by books."

Bristle and Spike looked at each other, and both called Twilight out. "NEEEERRRDDD!"

Twilight grumbled and laid down on the bed of books Spike made for her. "Good night, boys." Spike jumped on her lap and circled a few times before lying down himself. Bristle instead opted for the softer chairs.

Twilight laid in her makeshift bed awake while her friend (and Spike) were comfortably asleep. Her problem wasn't so much discomfort (even though it was a pretty shitty excuse for a bed), but her mind being completely stuck on other things. She couldn't keep her thoughts away from Sunset Shimmer. Granted, when she was a threat to the safety of a world, and a thief of a valuable royal item, it would make sense to keep her in mind. But of course, that wasn't her focus.

She couldn't get away from Sunset sexually pleasing her earlier. It was incredible, she had never had that kind of beautiful release before, her hand exploring her own feminine parts couldn't possibly compare to a different pair. As evil as that Shimmer was, Twilight wanted nothing more than to feel that ecstasy again, and even give that feeling back. Twilight had never dealt with lying awake all night thinking about someone, and now..."Uh oh."

Now that was a feeling Twilight knew. She had to deal with it earlier today. Wetness. Sunset Shimmer was turning Twilight on beyond all belief. This girl, who should be her arch-enemy, was making Twilight hot and heavy. And Twilight really needed to take care of that.

"Transformation into 'worst porno I've ever seen' is now complete."

"And I've been with him for a long time, I've seen the types of porn he watches. It's not good. Actually kind of disgusting."

"I have needs too, Pinkie!"

"Any chance you could give me some links? For...curiosity purposes, obviously."

Twilight moved to stand up, before the force pressing down on her reminded her that Spike was sleeping. She gently picked him up and placed him on the cold floor beside her, removed the blanket, and started making her way to the closest restroom.

Unfortunately, Spike was only pretending to sleep, at least at that moment. He could feel Twilight's dampness, and initially worried that she had an "accident", a problem he thought she had grown past. Thankfully, it was the other kind of wet, and when she moved him to head to the bathroom, he managed to put the pieces together. And he wasn't about to let her get away with it. "Twilight, what the hell are you doing?"

Twilight froze up, and tried to evade the issue. "Spike, what did I tell you about using that kind of language?"

Spike shook his head. "You're not getting away from the question that easily. I'm not stupid, Twilight. I could feel you were having a problem just now. Please, please tell me you were fantasizing about that guy you were entranced with earlier today."

Twilight looked down and swung her foot. "Oh. You felt my..."

"Yes, I did, you don't need to say anymore. You weren't thinking about Sunset Shimmer, please tell me that."

She sighed ashamedly. "I'm really sorry, Spike. But she was so tender and made me feel so perfect. And now I can't stop thinking about her."

"Trust me, I understand what that's like. I feel the same way about Rarity, except she hasn't done anything for me yet. I don't have a problem with you being obsessively attracted to someone, it also doesn't matter that it's another mare. The part that worries me is that she's the girl we're here to find, arrest, bring to justice. You're not doing any favors by getting yourself involved with her."

"Well, what am I supposed to do!? This is the first time I've ever felt like this, the first time I've ever felt like I could be in love! I'm 19 years old, and I've got plenty of desirable qualities, including being a fucking PRINCESS! So why is it I still haven't even been APPROACHED ONCE about any kind of date!? It's looking like I could be alone for the rest of my life if this shit keeps up." She looked like she was about to cry.

On any other day, Spike would be terrified. Twilight did not swear. Twilight did not yell. She would have to be really pissed off to reach this level, and that usually meant Spike was on the receiving end. But this time, he wouldn't run, wouldn't slink away, he would do what he needed to. "You probably think I don't get it, but I do. You're angry, because you're finally feeling love, and you just know in your heart it's not going to work. But you want to hold onto your illusion, because that's what you need. That's my life."

"S-so you and Rarity..."

"Like I said, I'm not stupid. I get that it's not going to happen between us. Age, species, interests, there's too many barriers between us. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop dreaming about it, because that fantasy makes me happy. But I know you, Twilight. Sunset Shimmer is evil. You deserve much better than that. Even in your mind's eye, you can and should do better. I know I may have ripped into him earlier, but that guy you instantly fell for, he had an equal back in the Crystal Empire, right? So when we stop Sunset Shimmer and get back to Equestria, I will help you in any way I can to get you and him together."

Twilight said nothing. All she did was grab Spike, lift him up to her face, and hug him. She gently pet and stroked him as he hugged back. She finally whispered into his ear, "Thank you. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"You don't have to."

"Why does this have to be so sad!? Where did this come from!?"

"It's brutal! It's heart-wrenching! Bristle, lighten the mood, I'm begging you!"

"He's still asleep. I'm on that."

Bristle woke up suddenly, in a cold sweat. "What a horrible dream! Zeros and ones everywhere! And I think I saw a two!"

"Thank you, that's more like it."

Author's Note

Alright, I referenced them with copyrighted lyrics and saying how chill Danny is, you should all go listen to Ninja Sex Party. Love 'em.

I swear, there's glimpses of me being a good author in there somewhere, and they keep trying to get out. NO. Get back in your cell, quality writing!