Sparity and the (Un)Holy Grail

Spike rode heroically against the winds of the blistering blizzards of the Land of Ice Cream and Snow Cones, the strong winds threatening to knock him off his rhinoceros.

“Stay steady, fair Buttercup!” shouted Spike, wiping some whip cream off his face. “We shall transcend these wicked plains and soon be at the Ravioli Hills, and then the Kingdom of Boutique!”

“The winds!” cried the rhino, “They are too strong! We’ll never make it past the Frosting Mountains!”

“We will and we must!” yelled the dragon, “If we don’t, then the Marshmallow Queen will forever suffer from her Nymphomania!”

What drives you, mighty Spike?!” asked his trusty rhino steed. “You must have a heart of silver and gold to brave these conditions to reach her!”

“That I may! But in truth, I am simply a dragon that just so happens to be a playboy billionaire as well as a famous race car driver!”

“Then I swear on my life that you will reach the Boutique Kingdom!” shouted the Rhino, stepping through the ice cream snow. “As long as you promise you’ll make her your super awesome sexy somepony forever!”

“That I will!” agreed Spike, “Now push forward! We must get past all of this ice cream!”

The dragon and the rhino slowly continued to trek in the Land of Ice Cream and Snow Cones, making their way past the mountains and to the to the Marshmallow Queen’s kingdom of Boutique, so that the dragon could finally cure her of her Nymphomania.

However, in reality Spike had actually managed to work his way into the kitchen where he laid half unconscious in a large tub of ice cream. He occasionally licked up some of the melted cream, giggling as Davenport still tried to pull his hoof out of the dragon’s mouth.

“Will somepony please help me!?” he shouted, looking around the kitchen, “Hello? I need help! This really hurts!”

“Hehe…” snickered the drake, his face covered in melted ice cream. “A talking pony, that’s incredible!”

“How high are you?!”

“Come, Buttercup!” shouted Spike, his teeth still sunk into Davenport’s hoof. “To the Ravioli Hills!”

What? No!” the pony cried as Spike jumped through the kitchen window, dragging the screaming pony with him.

As the dragon dealt with his quest of saving the Marshmallow Queen in the garden, the party inside had continued to prosper. Vinyl had stopped manually blasting music, setting her machines to the auto-play and shuffle setting so she could enjoy the party herself as well. The electric maned pony was currently participating in licking salt off of Octavia while downing shots of tequila and lime wedges.

“Woo!” screamed Vinyl, shaking her head as she slammed her eighth empty shot glass on the table. “This shit is tight! Yo babe, pour me another one!”

“Of course, dear,” smiled Octavia, reaching over the bar to grab another shot glass and filling it to the rim with the suggested drink. “How many more do you think it’ll take before we switch?”

“Last one, I swear!” grinned Vinyl, grabbing the salt shaker. “Raise your hoof out.”

“Actually,” said Octavia, a sly grin forming on her face as she hoisted herself onto the bar, lying down as she stared at her marefriend. “I have a better idea, give me the salt.”

“W-what do you have planned?” she asked, blushing as she handed the salt to the grey mare.

“I have an idea…” Octavia said, leaning up slightly as she gently tapped a trail of salt in a line right below her core, leading up her stomach. “There we go.”

It was difficult to tell, but Octavia could have sworn Vinyl’s eyes widened behind her thick shades. The unicorn wasted no time, quickly downing her drink and jumping on top of the grey earth pony.

“Fuck that!” she said, attacking the inside of Octavia’s mouth with her tongue, swishing around in her drunken lust. Octavia, surprised at first, made no effort to fend off the assault being made against her. She tasted the tequila and lime on the DJ’s breath, intoxicating her as they continued to make out on the bar, not caring at any on-lookers.

“That’s hot,” grinned Lyra as she and Bonbon stared at the two ponies. “You want to get in on that?”

“N…nah,” said Bonbon, taking a sip of her drink, “This is actually really good, you want a sip?”

“No thanks,” said the mint-green mare. “I still need to be somewhat sober to start our plan.”

“Plan?”

“Yeah, the one I told you about,” said Lyra. “You know, Operation: Soaring Eagle?”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” asked Bonbon. “What happened to the old codename?”

“I just figured Operation: Get Fluttershy drunk was a bit too obvious.”

“I guess,” admitted Bonbon, taking another drink. “So what are we going to do? Fluttershy doesn’t drink, plus I don’t think that she plays for our team.”

“Then we need to ‘persuade her’,” said Lyra, snickering sinisterly as she levitated a bottle of vodka towards her. “Let the first step of Operation: Soaring Eagle commence!”

“Which is?”

“Pouring this entire bottle into Fluttershy’s punch,” said Lyra.

“By the goddess, you’re a genius!” said Bonbon, finishing her cup. “Do you want to make out first?”

“Yes… yes I do,” said Lyra, tossing the vodka bottle in a random direction before pouncing on the cream-coloured mare.

The bottle went flying across the room, crashing against the wall of the library and almost hitting an unaware Caramel.

“What the hell?” the yellow stallion wondered, looking around the room for the culprit. “Who almost hit me in the face with a vodka bottle?!” he yelled.

He scanned the room, finding a large red stallion nearby, looking awfully suspicious.

“Hey you!” he snarled, walking up to the pony, nudging him on the side to get his attention. “Hey, I’m talking to you!”

Big Macintosh turned around, looking down at the smaller yellow stallion, raising a curious eyebrow at him.

“Listen bro! I don’t know where you get off throwing bottles at ponies, but fuck off!”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me you pansy ass bitch!” growled Caramel, “Don’t fucking do it!”

“What the heck are you talking about?” asked Big Mac. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Horse shit! You threw that bottle at me you prick!”

“I didn’t do nothing of the sort,” frowned the big red pony. “And I’d suggest y’all stop with the insults.”

“Smoke my pole you fat, mare-legged gaylord!”

“I don’t know what me being gay has anything to do with it!” roared Big Mac. “But I’ll only ask y’all one more time, stop insulting me.”

“Make me you flaming homo-“

WHAM!

Big Macintosh hoof collided with Caramel’s jaw, the mighty blow from the farm pony sending him hurtling to the floor.

“I warned ya,” he muttered.

“Holy shit…” groaned Caramel, as he slowly got up from the ground. “I feel different…”

“Well I did just punch ya,” he said. “Now y’all are going to apologize?”

“Yeah, yeah…” said Caramel. “I’m sorry, but I feel strange…”

“What? How?”

“I think… I think you punched the straight right out of me.”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you want to go have extremely hot and lustful sex on Spike’s bed?” asked the newly gay Caramel.

Big Mac pondered at the thought before smiling as he took Caramel’s hoof.

“Eeyup!”

*****

“Oh my goddess that was good…” Twilight said, putting the empty bottle of tequila down on the table. “You were right Miss Mayor, drinking three bottles of tequila was easy…”

“That’s… that’s what I said,” nodded the Mayor, she herself had also had a large amount to drink as well.

“What do we do next?”

“Whatever you want…” said Mayor Mare, “It’s New Luna’s Eve. But I have a few ideas if you’re feeling a little… ‘adventurous’ this evening,” she slid her hoof across the bar, gently touching Twilight’s. “Are we feeling adventurous this evening?”

Twilight gulped. “W-what do you mean?”

The Mayor smiled. “Tell me Twilight, do you have a coltfriend?”

“N-n-no.”

“Oh really? A pretty little thing like you is still single? I find that very hard to believe, Twilight” said the Mayor. “You must have had a stallion in your life at one point.”

“Nope,” sighed Twilight, as she went to fill her glass again. “Just me and my books… forever alone…”

“That’s not true,” said Mayor Mare. “You have your friends and your family.”

“But not a coltfriend…”

“Well,” wondered the Mayor as she inched ever closer to the purple mare. “Have you ever considered the… alternative lifestyle?”

“The… the what?”

“Fillyfooling, dear,” grinned the Mayor, “Have you’ve ever considered being with another mare?”

“I—I umm… sort of….” mumbled Twilight. “But I wouldn’t know what to do, I’ve never had a coltfriend, much less a marefriend.”

“Maybe you didn’t have the right partner,” smiled Mayor Mare, brushing her hoof light through Twilight’s bangs. “You have such a pretty face, and it’s ashamed that it can’t be fully appreciated.”

Twilight blushed, dropping her drink on the table and spilling it. She barely heard it though over the sound of her pounding heart. Her bones rattled as the Mayor’s hoof slipped passed her shoulder and down her back. The Mayor felt every sensitive spot as Twilight’s nerves kicked into overdrive, the slightest of contact nearly pushing her over the edge and into a jiggling pile of juices.

“So, Miss Twilight,” said the Mayor, slowly taking off her glasses. “What are we? Are we a dirty little fillyfucker?”

“Ye-ye-yes!” trembled Twilight with excitement. “I want to fuck filly! I want to grind them, lick them, penetrate them all!” her voice grew shaky as she continued. “I-I-I want to do all the weird stuff, I want to be dominated, rutted with strapons, and screwed until I’m just a moaning pile of pleasure!“

The Mayor gave a sexy little smirk as the final step of her plan was set into action. “Why Twilight, I never knew you had a wild side of you, but it sounds like you’re going to need somepony with a lot of experience…”

“Damn it…” whimpered Twilight, slamming her head on the bar. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Easy girl,” said Mayor Mare. “I just so happen to know a mare that enjoy doing all of that and more,” she said. “If you’re able to overlook her age.”

“What… you mean like a Milf?”

“Well, I'm a 'Mayor I’d Like to Fuck' so sort of.”

“Milf…” said Twilight, lifting her head up to stare into the Mayor’s pretty lips. “Milfs are pretty hot.”

“And trust me when I say this Twilight,” the Mayor said, leaning into Twilight’s ear. “You would never forget a night with me.”

“Holy shit…” moaned Twilight. “I think… I think I love you.”

The Mayor licked her lips, as she started right into Twilight’s innocent purple eyes. “Fucking love you too.”

*****

“Whooo wee!” shouted Applejack, “Rainbow, if you’re going to ride me all night, can ya at least pull on my hair?”

“Sure thing, cowgirl!” laughed the rainbow-maned pegasus, as she took a grip on AJ’s ponytail and gave it a good strong pull. Rainbow was currently riding Applejack like a… pony. Her legs wrapped around her as she snatched the orange mare’s hat away, placing it on her own head.

She rode her into the couch, the cyan mare sliding off as she tugged again on Applejack’s mane. Rainbow lifted the cowpony’s tail as she started to publicly dry hump her in the middle of the party.

“Ah, yeah!” grunted Applejack, her face being rammed into the cushions of the pillows. “Ride this mare!”

Rainbow continued to pound at the hips of the cowpony as the rest of the party cheered her on. The lights were a blur around them as she proceeded to spank Applejacks rump, and they got lost in the moment… and a little carried away.

“Are they…” gulped Fluttershy, who was one of the on-looking ponies, “Are they having sex?”

“I think so!” smiled Pinkie. “My Pinkie Pussy Sense is going crazy! There has to be at least a dozen ponies banging!”

“Oh my…” gulped Fluttershy, her face slowly beginning to glow a bright read. “I-I think I need a drink…”

“Hey Fluttershy, do you want to make out?” asked Pinkie.

“Oh umm… no thank you,” whispered Fluttershy, carefully backing away from the pink mare.

“Aww… okay!” laughed Pinkie, as she bounced away towards a tan-coloured pegasus. “See you later alligator!”

“Okay…” mumbled the shy pony, turning around and walking towards the punch area. “I hope Twilight remembered to make a punch bowl without alcohol…”

“Heeeeeeey Flutters!”

“Oh…” gulped Fluttershy, cowering a little as a mint-coloured unicorn and a cream-coated pony walked up to her, slowly circling her, like sharks toying with flesh. “Hello Lyra, hello Bonbon.”

“Having fun?” asked Lyra, her eyes half-lidded as she wrapped a hoof around her shoulders. “We sure are, isn’t that right Bonbon?”

“Yes indeed,” agreed Bonbon as she raced her eyes up and down Fluttershy’s perfect little figure. “Just oodles of it.” she said. “And we were hoping you could join us for a little more fun.”

“Oh, no thank you,” she squeaked, “I d-d-don’t like fun.”

“Oh…” pouted Bonbon, “But fun’s so much… fun!”

“Everypony likes fun,” said Lyra.

“P-please girls, I-I-I just want to get a drink of punch,” Fluttershy said.

“Oh is that all? Well here, have some of mine,” said Lyra, offering her a cup.

Fluttershy shook her head. “N-no thank you, I don’t drink, I think Twilight left me some non-alcoholic punch by the snacks.”

“Then let’s get you some!” grinned Bonbon, pushing the pegasus towards the snack table. As she pushed, she gave a little wink to her marefriend, who in return wickedly flashed a smile back. “Here you go!” the candy mare said, pouring her a cup. “Drink up.”

“Thank you,” smiled Fluttershy as she gingerly took a sip of the red punch. “Wow… this is really good,” she said, taking another sip, followed by a swig, then a swallow, and then finally pouring the whole cup down her throat.

As Fluttershy was drinking, Lyra’s horn began to glow, bringing over a large bottle of vodka. Bonbon popped the lid off with her teeth and the two began to quickly pour the contents into the punch, Lyra quickly mixing it in so Fluttershy couldn’t tell the difference.

“Mmm,” sighed Fluttershy, bringing her head down after her drink. “This is really good.”

“Have another one,” said Bonbon, pouring a glass of the spiked punch to the unsuspecting mare.

“Thank you,” she said, bringing it up to her lips, stopping just millimeters away. “Wait, you two didn’t do anything funny to the punch? Did you?”

“What?!” gasped Lyra in disbelief, “That’s absurd! Why would anypony want to get you drunk and vulnerable?”

“And you trust us? Don’t you Fluttershy?” asked Bonbon, batting her eyelashes innocently.

“Oh… okay,” Fluttershy said as she started to drink, the two ponies with her secretly giving each other a hoof bump as the yellow pegasus finished. “It tastes… different. Like something funny’s been added.”

“Probably just an aftertaste,” suggested Bonbon, pouring another glass of punch for her. “Another cup, Fluttershy?”

“Yes please,” she said, grabbing the drink from the earth pony’s hooves.

“Are you sure you don’t want a sip of my drink?” asked Lyra.

“No thank you,” said Fluttershy, downing her second glass of spiked punch. “I don’t drink.”

“Whatever you say Flutters,” snickered the mint-green unicorn, taking a sip of her glass of water.

“Ah…” sighed the yellow mare, finishing her second glass. “I feel… warm, like inside of me.”

“Weird,” shrugged Bonbon, “You know what fixes that? More punch.”

“Yes please.”

Fluttershy took yet another glass of punch, chugging the whole thing within seconds. She didn’t even ask for a refill and just took the next cup of punch from Lyra’s hoof. More and more she drank, the alcohol quickly working its way into her system. She became sloppy with her drinking, letting the punch dribble down her cheeks. She became louder, and more giggly as she began to relax and crawl out of her shell.

“Mmmmmm…” moaned Fluttershy, dropping her sixteenth cup of punch on the floor. “That was the best punch ever! Woo....” she laughed, throwing her hooves in the air for she did not care as she fell to the ground.

“I’m glad you like it,” said Lyra, looking at Bonbon and giving her a little nod. “Now… we we’re wondering if you would like to play a game?”

“What… what kind of game?” wondered Fluttershy, rolling around the ground, biting onto one of her discarded cups and nestling it on her nose.

“Have you ever played seven minutes of heaven?”

“N… no.” bubbled the mare.

“It’s a super fun game,” said Bonbon. “Would you like to play with us?”

“It’s a… it’s a three pony game?”

“Sometimes,” said Lyra, “You can play with two but me and Bonbon been wanting to try it with a third.”

“Umm… I’ll play…” said Fluttershy. “What do I need to do?”

“Well first you need to get up,” laughed Bonbon. “After that we’ll help you get to the game’s area.”

“O-okay,” muttered Fluttershy as she tried to get up, staggering a bit and slamming into table before falling down again. “Oops…”

“It’s okay we’ll help you,” said Lyra. She and Bonbon both took one of Fluttershy’s hooves around their necks and started to carry her away. “Bonbon, I think that we may have given her a bit too much.”

“Maybe… oh well, too late now,” the candy mare giggled as they approached the library’s storage closet. “Here we are.”

“Wha… what are we doing at the closet?” mumbled Fluttershy. “Is this where we play the game?”

“Yeppers!” said Lyra, as she opened the closet door. “Now don’t worry about trying too hard. There are no losers in this game.

“Good…” sighed Fluttershy. “I don’t like games where you can lose…”

“Hey Lyra,” said Bonbon as she walked into the closet, look what I found.”

“What do you got there?”

The cream-coloured mare rummaged through the closet, pulling out a long, wooden broomstick.

“Well if it isn’t our old friend,” grinned Lyra. “You’re in for a treat tonight Flutters.”

“Why? What’s so special about a broomstick?”

“You’ll find out,” said Lyra, shoving the drunken Fluttershy into the grasp of Bonbon and walking into the closet herself. “Shall we start the timer?”

“When have we ever kept track of time?” giggled Bonbon.

“Umm, what’s happening?”

“Relax Fluttershy,” said Lyra, shutting the closet door and concealing the three in the darkness of the small room. “Just let it happen, now Bonbon, pass me the broomstick, I think it’s time Fluttershy gets a good cleaning…”

*****

“This party is lame, brother of mine…” groaned Flim. “There are like no good chicks here.”

“Flim, you have to be more open minded than that,” said his mustached brother. “Be happy that we got invited.”

“Whatever Flam...”

“Oh don’t be that way,” said Flam.

“Yeah… so anyways, what the hell are we going to do? Every good mare here’s been taken.”

“No shit, really?” Flam said sarcastically. “You don’t think I haven’t noticed that?”

“I’m just saying…”

“What? You expect some awesome mare to just walk in and demand to have sex?”

As if on cue, the doors of the library burst open, puffs of dark mystical smoke started to pour into the room as a tall hooded figure entered the room, its eyes glowing white with power.

“WE HAVE COME TO THIS PARTY IN CELEBRATION OF THY’S NAME BECAUSE THERE HAS BEEN A NOISE COMPLAINT!” the imposing figure yelled, deafening the entire party. Everypony looked as the pony, took off her hood, revealing the magnificent Princess Luna.

“Holy shit,” said Flam, awe-struck by Luna’s nightly glory and beauty.

“Son of a bitch…” drooled Flim, hypnotized by her unnatural good looks and grace.

“Y-you said there was a noise complaint?” gulped Pinkie Pie, amazed by Luna’s size and figure.

“YES!” Luna grinned, flicking her coat off. “YOU’RE NOT MAKING ENOUGH NOISE!”

“WOOOOOOO!” cheered everypony as the party resumed at maximum blast. Luna pulled out a large jug of moonshine, hammering it back the contents in seconds.

“Wow…” gasped Flam, “Is that…”

“Princess fucking Luna…” replied Flim. “The most beautiful-“

“And sexiest pony in all of Equestria.”

“Anypony would give his left nut to spend a night with her…” said Flim.

“I’d know I would,” said Flam.

“Same here,” nodded Flim. “Wait… is she coming this way?”

“Oh crap she is…”

“GENTLECOLTS!” she moon princess screamed at the two stallions. “It has come to our attention that we desire intercourse with you!”

“Me?” asked Flam.

“Me?” asked Flim.

“Either or will work!” she yelled. “Or both of you if thou desires! We will be waiting for you or you or both in the basement for intercourse!”

Both of the stallions stared at the luscious flank of Princess Luna as she walked away.

“Okay… that was weird,” said Flim.

“I’m going to have sex with her,” grinned Flam.

“Pardon me?”

“I said, I’m going to have sex with her,” repeated Flam

“That’s funny, because I was going to do that,” said the cream-coated stallion. “I sure as hell ain’t passing up this opportunity in my community…” he paused. “God damn it.”

“Well what are we going to do?” asked Flam. “Three-way?”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” said Flam, “Isn’t that kind of gay?”

“Not if you think it isn’t,” said Flim. “Besides, are you having sex with me?”

“No, with Luna…”

“Then it’s not gay.”

“But you’ll be there,” said Flam “It just seems kind of weird.”

“Brother, are you going to plow me or Luna?”

“Luna.”

“Then it’s not gay!” Flim tried to explain. “As long as we make no gay physical contact, then it’s just two guys rutting the same mare. I’ll take the front, you take the back and we’ll switch like half way through.”

“What about when we DP her?” wondered Flam “Our… you know, they might slam against each other’s.”

“Then either pull your balls back or suck it up,” muttered Flim. “Look, are you gay?”

“Of course not!”

“Then let’s do this to her.”

Flam took a moment to think. “You’re right Flim, she’s Princess Luna, the greatest pony in the world and she deserves this.”

“Awesome,” nodded Flim, stretching his arms out. “Bro hug?”

“Bro hug,” said Flam as the two had a bro hug, quickly breaking it when maximum bro-ocity was reached. “Let’s do this, brother of mine!”

“Yeah!” screamed Flim, as the two ponies went into the basement to rock Luna’s world.

*****

“There it is Buttercup,” said Spike gazing upon the wondrous and enchanting Kingdom of Boutique. “Our goal is within view!”

“And it is where we must part ways” said the candy cane rhino. “I wish you good luck, fair knight.”

“You have been a great companion, Buttercup, and I wish you fair travels back to the meadows,” said Spike, waving to the rhino as he walked towards the castle doors of Boutique. “But now it is time for me to claim my prize!” he said, pushing open the doors and entering the diamond halls within.

The rooms was made with every gem known to pony and dragon as it sparkled with the beauty of the sun, it was almost blinding if it weren’t for the fact that the real treasure sat at the end of the hall in the Marshmallow throne.

The Marshmallow Queen, the very face and definition of beauty incarnate. Legends have said that she once killed a stallion just by looking at him with a pouty face, his heart unable to take the sheer amount of desire that it pumped in his veins. Only those worthy of her would be spared her lust and instead be rewarded with pleasure.

The dragon knew he was one of them.

“Sir Spike…” the Marshmallow Queen moaned, pouncing out her throne and crawling seductively towards the dragon. “I knew you would come… now to make you come some more…” she smiled, crawling up Spike’s leg, dragging her tongue against his hard, eager scales.

“I came as soon as I could,” said Spike, doing his best to keep from doing the queen right then and there. “I heard you have caught a case of Nymphomania.”

“Oh the worst!” she cooed, “Day after day, horny and unsatisfied by these tiny little ponies… when all I needed was a big dragon to fill me up,” she climbed up to Spike’s waist, placing a firm hoof on both sides of his rump. “And from the bulge in your trousers, it’s a very big dragon…” she licked her lips.

“Well, the goddess did bless me with two—“

“No more words!” shouted the Queen, ripping off her dress. “Fuck me dragon! Fuck the nymphomania out of me and be my super awesome sexy somepony forever!”

No words were needed, as he locked lips with the horny queen, swishing his devil-pronged tongue around her mouth, savoring the taste of cake, ice cream and other sugary treats she must have consumed. She fell backwards, pulling him onto of her as she laid there for the taking.

It would have been beautiful, if wasn’t all an illusion.

Reality hit Spike hard as all the pretty colours went away. The crystal gems of the castle were replaced with the boring wooden book shelves of the library. The sprites and talking animals were all replaced with drunken, fucking, or sleeping ponies and below him was not the Marshmallow Queen, but rather an eager and ready pink mare.

“Why’d you stop?” asked Pinkie Pie, her smiling mouth open covered in Dragon’s spit. “Things were just getting good!”

“Pinkie Pie!?” gasped Spike, jumping off the mare. “What the hell just happened!?”

“I think you just ended your trip,” said Pinkie, getting up from the ground. “Kind of a sour time to stop as well, we were this close to doing it!”

“B-b-but I like Rarity!”

“So do I, but you’re the one that came on to me silly!” teased the party pony. “Oh well, no big deal it was fun while it lasted.”

“How long has it been? What did I do?”

“I don’t know, maybe the pony in your mouth can tell you,” said Pinkie.

“What?” muttered Spike, noticing the limp pony hoof that was still in his mouth.

“Heeeelp meeeee…” muttered Davenport. “I think I’m dying…”

“Oh shit!” screamed Spike, coughing up Davenport’s arm. “I’m so freaking sorry for that!”

“My blood…” the near dead pony mumbled. “It smells like… almonds.”

“That’s not good,” said Pinkie, not looking too concerned. “I know what he needs!” she said, grabbing the stallion and dragging him into the bathroom. “Him and I are going to play doctor!”

“What does that mean?”

“It means my Pinkie Pussy sense is going to stop twitching! Good night Spike!” she said, slamming the door behind her, leaving Spike alone in the room.

“Wow…” he said to himself. “That was weird,” he looked around the library, seeing how everything had begun to slow down. there were almost no ponies still standing and the ones that were standing were sleeping against the walls. He could see ponies hugging, kissing and fucking each other all over the floor as he tried to avoid couples and sex puddles. “I wondered what happened to Rarity.”

“Heeeeeeeey Spikey wiiiikey…”

Spike turned around towards the bar, seeing a white hoof slowly waving at him. A similar coloured hoof rose up as well as a very drunk Rarity pulled herself up and onto the bar.

“Rarity?”

“Theeere you are…” she laughed, rolling on top of the bar surface and knocking over several glass bottles, all of them shattering on the floor. “I’ve been looking everywhere for my favourite dragon.”

“What happened to you?” asked Spike, walking up to the bar to make sure she was okay. Rarity’s dress was covered in wet stains and wreaked of fruit and gin. There were a few tears here and the collar had slipped passes her shoulder but other than that the dress was fine. Her mane was a different story. It was frizzled, frayed and just overall messy as if Opal thought her mane was a clump of yarn.

“Oh Spike it was fabulous!” she giggled happily, burping a little as she continued. “I was with berry… and Raindrop,” she looked both ways before leaning into Spike’s ear. “I think they’re lesponies,” she whispered. “Anyways, we were all drinking when that Berry Punch challenged me to drink! DRINK!” she shouted, raising her hoof as she blindly searched for a drink, grabbing onto a bottle of strawberry margarita. “As a laddie—lady I had to bitch that shut up!”

“Excuse me?”

“I… You’re pretty Spike,” she cooed in her drunken haze. “If you weren’t a gay I would totally fuck you…”

“I’m not gay!”

“Then why do you have gay sex?” she laughed, rolling into Spike’s arms as she continued to laugh. “I’m just kidding! Don’t be so sensitive Mr. Muscly… Mr. Veeeeeeery Muscly…” she said as she started to rub Spike’s chest. “Such power… the things you could do to me…” she smiled. “Spike…”

“Yes Rarity?” he asked, leaning closer to the love of his life who laid drunk in his arms. “Is something the matter?”

“I…”

“Yes?”

“I…”

“Yes!?”

“I…”

“YES?!”

*Belch!*

“Bwhahahaha!” Rarity burped, kicking her head back as she laughed hysterically. “Oh Goddess I’m so drunk.”

“I can tell,” said Spike, twitching his nose as he inhaled the smell of tequila and mint on her breath.

“Heeeey Spikey!” she said, tugging on his arm.

“Yes?”

“You look like I could use another drink!” she said, taking another gulp of her margarita.

“Yeah, and you look like I need to take you home,” he said, stepping passed the other ponies and heading out the front door of the library. “I’ll carry you back to the boutique and maybe crash on the couch or something.”

“Ooooooooor…” the white mare said, running her hooves up his chest. “I have a nice big bed…”

Spike’s heart stopped.

“Y-you’re serious?”

Rarity nodded, her head swaying back and forth as she did so. “Get me back home… and I’ll make all your dreams come true,” she winked, pouring more alcohol down her throat.

“Let’s just get you home first,” said Spike, stepping out into the cool air outside as he began his journey back to Rarity’s house.