Dashie the Vampony Slayer: Millennium of Darkness

The darkness. Such a frightening but beautiful element of nature. Both a necessary evil and an essential good. It is soul piercing, but somehow strangely peaceful. The darkness is where she felt comfortable, where she felt safe from the evils of the world. She couldn’t see what other ponies saw in the daytime, even before she rebelled against her sister. The night was always her home. Even the moon wasn’t so bad, despite being incredibly lonely on that godforsaken rock in the sky for the past thousand years.

Nightmare Moon stands on top of the grassy hill near old Hayseed’s cabin, looking out onto the town of Ponydale. Suddenly, her knees buckle and she collapses face-first onto the ground. She lets a short cry of surprise before her mouth fills with dirt and grass. She slides a few feet down the hill before coming to a skidding stop on a flat patch of ground. Nightmare Moon flops on her side, but jumps up almost immediately. She gazes down at her legs in confusion.

“What is happening? Why am I so weak?” She wonders aloud.

A wave of weariness washes down upon her. She stumbles before catching herself.

“So weak; so tired,” She slurs.

She looks up towards Old Hayseed’s cabin and trudges up the hill towards the abandoned wooden structure. The cabin is situated right at the edge of the treeline. A plethora of shaggy trees surround the side and back of the cabin, but the front of the cabin is absent of plant life, besides the usual grass and weeds. She stumbles into the cabin, barely able to maintain her balance. As soon as she is inside the cabin, she collapses onto the creaky wooden floor. Suddenly, a burst of magic flies out of her horn and hits an old rusted teapot, melting it on contact. Another erratic burst of magic flies out of her horn and sets the table across the room on fire. However, Nightmare Moon seems unconcerned with this turn of events and continues lying on the floor, oblivious that the house around her is slowly catching on fire. All she cares about is sleep. She has been awake for a thousand years, plotting her escape and now that she has escaped, Equestria will surely be hers’. But first, sleep.

Suddenly, the floor collapses under her and Nightmare Moon falls a hundred feet into the basement underneath the house that leads to the maze of tunnels running beneath Ponydale. However, she catches herself in a bubble of magic, which she wraps around her body like a blanket. Nothing will disturb her well-deserved rest. Nothing.

--DtVS--

“Rainbow Dash!” Mrs. Cheerilee snaps at the sleeping cyan pegasus, cracking the ruler in her hoof on the dark-green chalkboard.

Rainbow awakens with a start and jerks upright, knocking her notebook off of her desk in the process. A few of the ponies sitting around her giggle amusedly. Her light blue cheeks flush bright pink in embarrassment.

“Sorry, Mrs. Cheerilee,” Rainbow says, rubbing her eyes with a hoof. “Long weekend.”

Cheerilee nods in understanding.

“Yes, my condolences on your untimely death,” Cheerilee says. “But at least try to pay attention post-mortem.”

“Sorry, death does things to a pony,” Rainbow retorts, vaunting an arrogant smirk. Her snarky nature was still very much in tact even after her trip to the world beyond.

“I would think so,” Mrs. Cheerilee gets in the last word, and then returns to teaching her class. “Now, does everypony know what a kidney stone is?”

--DtVS--

As Dashie walks out of Mrs. Cheerilee’s classroom, Principle Davenport intercepts her, extending a hoof out to stop her in her tracks. Rainbow sighs in annoyance.

“What do you want, Principle Grumpy?” She asks, trying her best to vocally convey that there are boundless things that she would rather be doing at the moment than talking with him.

Davenport hands her a poorly designed purple flier that reads “Ponydale High’s world-famous flying team! Practices after school!” A tacky border of disembodied wings surrounds the words. As she examines the flier, Rainbow wonders in her mind which was more disturbing, the disembodied wings or the marsh green words and the clashing ugly purple background. However, the thought is gone after a moment. She looks up at Principle Davenport.

“World famous flying team?” Rainbow gives him wary glare. “In what world?”

Davenport almost frowns, but then decides to purposely ignore her disrespect for the time being.

“You’re going to try out for the flying team, Miss Dash,” He states matter-of-factly, tapping the hideous flier with his black tipped hoof.

“I am?” Rainbow asks, feigning shock.

Davenport nods in agreement.

“Yes, you are,” He says.

“Why the sudden interest in my extra curricular activities?” Rainbow asks, suspicious.

“I just think it would be good for a pony such as yourself to do something with her free time,” Davenport shrugs innocently, and then adds. “Something productive. Also, I happened to be perusing your file when I noticed that you were the best flier in Cloudsdale back in the day.”

Ah, the catch.

“Back in the day, maybe,” Rainbow pretends to toy with the idea in her mind. “But I’m recovering from a broken wing. That might affect my performance.”

Davenport growls in annoyance, dropping all pretenses of mere suggestion.

“You will try out for the flight team and you will make Ponydale proud or you will find yourself out of this school!” Davenport snarls. “Capiche?”

Davenport marches off towards his office in a huff. Fluttershy and Spike casually stroll out of class and spy Davenport storming away from Dashie. They stop beside the rainbow maned pegasus.

“What was that all about?” Spike asks.

“Davenport’s forcing me to be on the flight team,” Rainbow reports, handing him the flight team flier.

“Oh you’d be great on the flight team!” Flutershy squeaks excitedly. “I bet you’d be the best on the team.”

Rainbow weighs the thought in her mind for a moment.

“I’d be more than best on the team…” She trails off, but then turns to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, I think you should try out for the flight team as well.”

Fluttershy shakes her head, vehemently against the idea.

“Oh no, I would never be able to make the team,” Fluttershy says. “I’m not nearly strong enough of a flier.”

Rainbow shakes her head and chuckles.

“Nonsense. I think it would be good for your confidence,” Rainbow states. “And anyways, it’s Ponydale, Fluttershy, anypony can make the team.”

--DtVS--

Rainbow Dash marches into the library during lunchtime and slaps a sheet of paper down on the table where Twilight is reading. Twilight looks up at Dashie and then down to the paper. It is an enrollment form for the flight team.

“What’s this?” Twilight quizzically examines the form.

“I’m joining the flight team!” Rainbow exclaims proudly.

“I thought you said you didn’t want to join the flight team because they’re the worst in Equestria,” Twilight reminds her.

Rainbow nods.

“True, but I feel that I need an extracurricular outlet for my talents.”

“You have vampony slaying,” Twilight suggests.

Rainbow waves the thought off without even giving it the time of day.

“Something not totally depressing and “D” wordy,” She says. “Just think of it this way, I’ll be the best flier on the team. We may even, Celestia forbid, become a somewhat respectable team.”

Twilight sighs and closes her book.

“You don’t have time to slay and be an all-star athlete,” She says sternly.

“Why not?” Rainbow pouts.

“Because being a Slayer doesn’t give you a ticket to strut around showing off your powers!” Twilight snaps. “And you should lay low for a little while. Everypony already knows that you came back from the grave, we don’t want any nosy ponies to get suspicious.”

“But flying isn’t one of my Slayer powers. I was a great flier even before I was a Slayer,” Rainbow retorts.

“Still,” Twilight continues, unhindered by her Slayer’s valid argument. “It’s not your job to be popular. It’s your job to save ponies!”

“Well your word doesn’t matter, Twi, because Principle Davenport is going to summon hellfire on me if I don’t try out for the flight team,” She informs. “So, it’s happening whether you like it or not.”

Twilight gives her a confused look.

“Since when are you so gung-ho about following Davenport’s orders?”

Rainbow shrugs.

“A pony’s gotta start somewhere,” She says. “Can’t stay on the road to perdition forever, you know!”

“This can lead to nothing but trouble,” Twilight warns sternly.

Rainbow levels with her.

“Everything I do leads to trouble, so I’m not too worried,” She quips and then grins, seeming to remember something amusing. “Hey, I hear a certain librarian has a date with a certain math teacher tonight.”

Twilight blushes bright red.

“It’s not a date, Rainbow Dash,” She denies. “It’s an amiable social outing between two co-workers.”

“Date!” Rainbow coughs.

Twilight flashes her an annoyed look.

“It’s not-“

Suddenly, Spike bursts into the library, followed closely by Fluttershy.

“I hear somepony has a date tonight!” Spike proclaims loudly as he struts into the practically empty library.

Twilight groans.

--DtVS--

“This is a revered tradition of pegasus athletics,” A brown pegasus stallion with a spiky dark brown mane and a waxing moon crescent moon cutie mark begins, pacing in front of all of the potentials. “So, I’d appreciate it if the unicorns and earth ponies would stop trying out for the flight team!”

All of the unicorns and earth ponies in the line, most of them boys, snicker and trot off across the field in glee. Non-pegasus boys trying out for the flight team was a venerated tradition for the ponies at Ponydale High. It was and is practically a rite of passage for ironic hipster ponies. But as of late, the flight coaches have been cracking down on the tricksters, opting for varying levels of detention and verbal abuse. Papermoon frowns and turns to the serious candidates.

“Alright, now we have them out of the way, we can begin the serious tryouts,” Papermoon says. “I’m warning everypony though, flight team isn’t for the faint of heart.”

He stops in front of Fluttershy and stands intimidatingly above her. Fluttershy cowers, but Rainbow bumps her with her hoof. Fluttershy tries to stand up tall in the face of Papermoon. Papermoon continues staring down at her for a second, and then moves on to another potential. The pony in question is Scott Foalgrim. Papermoon finds Scott’s wings quite suspicious and tries to wiggle them, but the ceramic wings break and fall onto the yellowing grass, revealing that Scott is only an earth pony. Papermoon snarls at him viciously.

“Scott Foalgrim, I should’ve known! I’ve had it just about up to my mane with you jokester ponies who think that flight team is something to make fun of!” Papermoon fumes. “Do you think flight team is a joke, Mr. Foalgrim?” He shouts.

Papermoon glares darkly at Scott. He cowers under the coach’s brutal gaze.

“No, sir,” Scott replies, shaking his head vigorously.

Papermoon growls at him once more and points towards the trail leading away from the field.

“Go!” He commands.

Scott gallops off quickly, as to not incur more of the coach’s wrath. As he flees, he turns his head and stares at Fluttershy for a moment, but then turns and continues his escape.

“Any other jokesters?” Papermoon asks. “This is your last chance before the detention stage.”

One last earth pony that is wearing a pair of foam wings sulks off of the field. Papermoon snorts haughtily and turns back to the Potentials.

“So,” He begins. “Tryouts.”