Chapter 2

Warm. I felt oddly warm. Not the kind of warm I would experience during a fever, but not the kind of warm you feel when your girlfriend hugs you. It was a strange brew of the two sensations. However, it was ultimately uncomfortable. I opened my eyes, much to my headache's distaste, and observed the environment. The walls were a mat blue, and had a single yellow stripe running horizontally around the entire room. The walls were covered in posters of Misty Fly, and some cute little drawings took up the empty spaces where the posters failed to cover.

As I was admiring the room of the clear Misty fan, I felt a wet sensation on my neck.

"Wha?", I muttered.

The wetness began to slowly move down my body. It moved to my biceps, then to my back, and then closer to my boxers. I began to silently panic.

Okay. You're in a room you've never seen before, and somebody is kissing you down to your crotch. Cangrats Legs, you got drunk!

I did the next logical thing that entered my head: I yelped, and threw myself onto the floor.

I hit the shag carpeting shoulder-first, and the covers came along with me. I groaned in pain, and the bed creaked in a shift of weight.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?", a very female voice said.

"Ugh, yeah", I replied.

I took off the covers, and looked at my bed-mate. It was, in fact, Misty Fly. Her blue hair was a little messy, and she was wearing.....well kinda nothing. She had a blue t-shirt on that covered most of her body, her chest and waist, but the two small lumps on her chest told me that was all she was wearing.

"Oh....my....god.", I muttered.

She gave me a confused look.

"God? What's that? A video game character?", she questioned.

I shook my head.

"No, it's just a saying I heard from somepony." I looked the half-naked mare over again, and tried to recollect my thoughts.

"Uh, so..... what should I call you?", I began

"Misty.", she replied.

"Did I, uh...?"

"Have sex with me?"

"Uh....not what I was going to ask, but sure."

She leaned into my ear, and whispered, "Yes."

I blushed hotly, and blinked once.

"Oh sweet Celestia!", I shouted as loud as I could.

I bolted up to my hooves, and grabbed two fist-fulls of my hair.

"Hey! Calm down! I'm sure you were just drunk, and-", she began.

I put my hands on her shoulders, and took a deep breath in.

"Misty, you're missing the point. I PUT MY PENIS INSIDE OF YOU!", I screamed.

"Without a condom, might I add.", she said.

I just about fainted there.

"WHAT?!"

She removed my hands from her shoulders, and sat me down on her bed. I sat, and she sat on my lap, not really helping my predicament.

"Okay, look. Yes, I did sleep with you, and yes it was unprotected. In your defense, you were drunk as a skunk, and were probably a little loopy.", she began

"Oh yeah! Loopy!", I joked in spite of myself.

"Yes, loopy. But if it makes you feel better, you were really clumsy, and you didn't seem to know what you were doing. I f I didn't know better, I would guess it was your first ti-. Oh man."

"Misty?"

"Uh, yeah?"

"THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME!"

She got off of my lap, and grabbed her arms. "Oh man! I'm really, really sorry! You were just so charming and nice, so I figured you rutted your fair share of mares in your life is all."

"Wait! Wait! Wait! You slept with a drunken version of me, because I seemed Nice and Charming?", I asked the odd mare.

She only nodded, a bright blush on her face.

"Fucking perfect! When I'm sober, nopony will look at me, but when I'm drunk, I get to loose my virginity to a celebrity! WHY CELESTIA? WHY?", I shouted at the ceiling.

I turned back to face her, but she was trying not to look at me.

"Uh, Misty, I'm sorry for blowing up at you. I guess I was a little panicked is all.", I said to her.

She still didn't look at me.

"Uh, great, thanks!", she mumbled.

"What? Why aren't you looking at me?", I asked.

She gulped and answered, "Did you forget bout the 'convenient slit' on your boxers?", she asked.

I looked down, and saw my erect member sticking out of the front of my boxers.

"UWAH! Dammit!", I shouted. I turned away from her, and fought with my boxers.

"Here.", she said, handing me my janitorial uniform. I put on the clothes, and turned back around.

"So.....breakfast?", she asked.

We walked into the cafeteria together.

"Okay, we agree not to talk about last night?", I asked her.

"Agreed.", she replied.

"Oh! And you won't be offended if I don't really want a relationship, right?", I asked her.

She smiled, and kissed my cheek.

"I think I'll carry on. But if you ever need a friend, you have me!", she said.

Misty walked in ahead of me, and I followed her.

Please Celestia, PLEASE! Don't let anybody know!

"Hey! There he is! The mare-killer himself!", Spitfire shouted at me as I entered.

She invited me over to her table, and I sat next to her. She noticed the unhappy look on my face.

"Hey, what's up?", she asked.

"Oh nothing! I just lost my virginity to a random celebrity in a drunken fuck last night is all!", I exclaimed.

"Trust me, we all know."

"ALL?"

"Yeah. As it turns out, Misty is a screamer."

"Even Rainbow knows?"

"No. She went home with Gilda last night!", Spitfire spat, "Why do you care?"

SHIT!

"O-Oh! I just think if Rainbow knew if I was sleeping around with the team, the plan wouldn't work as well.", I lied.

"Right.", Spits said, "Well anyway, you won fair-and-square last night. So, welcome to the team."

I blinked in surprise.

"R-Really?", I asked.

"Yep. Come on, let's go get you a uniform."

The uniform wasn't all that special. It consisted of blue BDU's, some black boots, and a Wonderbolts t-shirt. I put on the uniform, and looked in the mirror.

"Not bad!", Spits commented.

She tossed me a jacket. I looked it over, and saw that it had a lot on it already. It had the team logo stitched on both shoulders. It had a large, yellow lightning bolt down the back, and a set of silver wings pinned on the front.

"Silver?", I asked Spits.

"Yeah, silver, you're an Honorary Wonderbolt for now.", she replied.

"HEY! We agreed on me being a Wonderbolt!", I shouted.

"Yeah, but not which kind of Wonderbolt. Like I said, if you're good enough, I'll put you on the team.", she said.

I continued to look over the jacket, and noticed some weird things on it. On the collar, there was another pair of silver wings, just smaller than the other ones, and a single, golden bar.

"What's this?", I asked, pointing to the butter-bar.

"It's your rank: Second Lieutenant. You can't fly in a military-based group in Equestria without being an officer, so congrats.", she said.

"An officer, huh? So I get to boss people around?", I asked.

Spitfire laughed at me.

"Not at your rank! You are an O-1. You know what I am? An O-3, and the rest of the team is an O-2, so you're at the bottom of the barrel!", she laughed.

I hung my head in disappointment.

"Oh, right.", I said.

I put the jacket on, and followed Spits to get the rest of my supplies.

She handed me a key, and walked me to my room.

My room looked like anyone else's room. It was blue, with the same yellow stripe. There was a dresser with a mirror, and a bed with blue blankets and pillows.

"Okay! Looks like your set! Your flight suit is in the closet, it's one size fits all, and your PT clothes are in your dresser. We'll get you copies of your uniform and a name tag soon.", Spits said.

"One last thing we need to see."

I followed her to the smallest room in the base. Inside the room: A washer and dryer.

"Uh, why?", I asked.

Spits clapped my shoulder.

"We have a rule of thumb around here. Sex another member in their room, and you clean their sheets.", she laughed. I blushed, and nodded.

"Right.", I said back.

"Have fun! And your conditioning is at three!", Spitfire said as she left.

After I put Misty's sheets in the washer, and set it to "Bulk", I walked to my room to change. I went into my dresser, and opened it. Inside it were several pairs of blue shorts, and the same amount of yellow shirts. On top of all of them, was a little gift-wrapped package. It had a small note on it, and I looked at it.

Congratulations on banging Misty! Here's a little reward for your feat. ~Soarin' and the guys.

I put the note on the dresser. I opened the paper and looked at my "reward". It was several pairs of boxers wrapped around something. I removed the undergarments, and held the centre gift. It was an orange box of Trojan Horse brand condoms. I held the box for a second, until I placed them in my dresser with my PT clothes.

"Thanks guys. Could've used them nine hours ago.", I said to myself.

I pulled out a pair of shorts and a yellow t-shirt. I replaced them with my uniform, and I thought hard for a second.

"Am I supposed to PT in boots?", I asked the walls.

I heard some laughter from outside my door, and turned to see Fire Streak and Soarin' standing there.

"Uh guys, what's so funny?", I asked the two of them. Fire Streak held up a pair of yellow sneakers, and they both bolted down the hall.

"Ugh! Fuckers!", I shouted as I ran after them.

"Well, at least he's starting to fit in nicely.", Spits said as she watched the boys run down the hall.

Author's Note

You want accidental drunken sex? I give you accidental drunken sex. I laughed throughout the whole writing of this chapter!