Corruptionem

Chapter 3

An Epic Journey

“Dude, why are you leaving me like this?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just the others... you know.”

“So you’re leaving me for them!?”

“I am really sorry. Goodbye.”

“Fuck you.”

My eyes stung as the small amount of light from the window invaded. What happened? Oh yeah, murdering ponies and stuff. Awesome.

I had decided to spend the night at Fluttershy’s cottage. I was extremely tired after last night’s ‘activities’ so what better place to sleep at. Besides, I’m sure Fluttershy wouldn’t mind at all. Any minds she would have were stuck to the bottom of my boots. I am hilarious.

I put my hands behind my head and thought and looked at the ceiling. I had to figure out what to do next. I didn’t want to kill too many ponies in Ponyville. No, murdering a couple of the most prominent ponies in Equestria was bad enough. Any more and the town would probably erupt in complete panic.

Perhaps I could make my way to Canterlot. There were plenty of snobs there that deserved a good ole’ kick in the ass. Yeah, that was the way to go. I would try to find those with the most useful cutie marks and take care of them.

Well, nothing’s gonna get done while I’m laying on my bum. I stood up from the bed and started scavenging through the house, looking for any supplies. I found a backpack that was slightly too small and some medicinal supplies. There were plenty of vegetables out in the garden that was in the backyard.

Where in God’s name was all the meat!? Oh yeah, ponies. Stupid vegetarians. I picked out whatever looked the tastiest, which still wasn’t all that promising. I plopped everything in the bag and headed out.

Onto Canterlot! I made my way through the house and reached the front door. Almost forgot! I ran back to the kitchen and pulled out a few knives from the drawers. Not butcher-sized, but better than nothing.

Excitement ran through my body! I was about to embark on adventure unlike no other. I am going to kill ponies! Nothing could stop me now! I opened the door and was greeted by a cyan pony with a lyre on her flank.

Fuck you karma. I hate you so much.

Lyra’s eyes widened and her mouth went agape. Her hoof that she had in the air froze in place.

I sighed as I reached into my bag, pulling out the sharpest knife I could find.

I force suddenly pushed my on my shoulders, and Lyra was on top of me as I was pinned to the ground.

“I just knew they existed I KNEW IT!,” Lyra exclaimed. She started repeatedly kissing my face. “Nobody will think I’m crazy anymore!”

I slashed upward with my knife, cutting Lyra’s abdomen, while looking directly in her eyes with the stare. I didn’t want her to start screaming. Bits and pieces of Lyra’s intestines start falling on my shirt while she looked at my with pure fear.

“Why...,” was all Lyra could manage to say before I stuffed the knife into her eye socket, popping hey eye, cutting open her brain, killing her instantly.

God damn it, I thought. Now I was gonna have to take my shirt off too. Ponies can be SO inconsiderate. I swear I’m gonna be running around naked soon. Maybe I could a skin a pony into clothes... no, I wasn’t THAT desperate. Yet.

A few minutes later I was watching yet another body flowing down the river. Time to leave before I cause Ponyville to implode. NOW I was on my path to Canterlot. Me, Nathan, the my little pwny.

***

Author's Note

Herpderp. Murdering off ponies is fun. Also, thanks P3RROHAMBRE and Biker_Dash for yet again being awesome sauce and helping me. Prepare to be molested by them.