Chapters "Are you kidding me?"
I facepalmed as I heard the other children sitting just across the room, arguing about something I honestly didn't care about. I facepalm so much I'm surprised my face still has physical features. Living in an orphanage was almost bearable. The kind ladies who worked there didn't ask for much, and usually let the children run their own lives. All the children are close, we're like a small family.
Of retardedly loud children.
"Will you please just shut up? " I shouted over the couch at them. The three boys turned over and looked at me. "Be quiet Ryan, this is important." Jacob growled. I sighed. "What's so important that it can't wait till morning?"
Kyle looked at me like I had two heads. "We're talking about who's the best pony. It's obviously Applejack!" He replied, turning back to Jacob. Jacob snorted. "No, it's Twilight! She's the main protagonist!" Daniel facepalmed. "Look, Pinkie is the only one that broke the fourth wall. And she always smiles! That makes her the best, by far!" He stated defiantly.
I turned on the radio and started blaring 'Feliz Navidad' until they all stopped talking. I turned down the music, sighing indignantly. "Rainbow Dash is by far the best pony. Now, shut up." Kyle grinned stupidly. He shouted "Applejack!" before sprinting out of the chair he was sitting in and running upstairs. A triple facepalm happened that instant. "Well, I'm out." I told the two as I made my way upstairs, not before nabbing a Chrismas cookie and scarfing it down.
As I entered my room, I noticed painfully clearly at how the room was seperated. Half was perfectly organized, everything tidy and arranged parallel to the walls, while the other half was an absolute dump of Daniel's things, lying across the ground in no particular order. As i gazed out of the frost-laden window at the row of buildings decorated for the holidays. It'll get better. It's bound to eventually. I just wish I can escape from here. I Sighed as I fell back into my bed. Equestria must be lovely this time of year. I hope that the ponies are happy this time of year. I snorted to myself as I put on my pyjamas, getting ready to go to sleep. Yeah, right. ponies don't exist who am I kidding? Come on, fifteen year olds don't act like this. Still, it would be nice. As sleep overtook me, I found my thoughts stayed with the ponies.
A headache was the only thing I awoke to. I groaned and rolled over, hearing an odd tinkling noise beneath me. "Please, Miss Baker, five more minutes..." I mumbled. I slowly opened my eyes, noticing that I was staring at a stone roof, of sorts. I glanced to my lefts to see a green-scaled dragon staing back at me. We both screamed, rather girlishly I must admit. That's when I realized that I was staring at a mirror, and I was lying on a vast amount of golden treasures. Then I looked at my hands. Large, green, scaly claws had replaced my hands.
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"What the fuck?!" I screamed, rather loudly. I heard what sounded like an avalanche outside the cave. Well, great.
I shakily tried to stand up, Quickly discovering that I was wearing a lovely white-yellow-blue scarf conveniently placed around my neck, and a santa's hat.
This is reading about a 9.0 on my Weird-Shit-O-Meter. I thought, feeling my brain shutting down.
I fell back, probably lying there for hours. It tends to be hard to move when one's brain isn't functioning. I eventually sat up, muttering "Screw it." and decided to explore the cave a little. Something that immediately caught my attention was a small, written note about five feet away from me. I made my way over to it and picked it up.
Hello there, Ryan! how nice to see you're awake!
Well, wait. Are you awake? Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're going to be here for awhile.
Have fun trying to not freeze to death! Ponies in Equestria seem to not like dragons that much, and even though you're a rather small dragon, I'm sure that they won't notice the difference. You and your friends have all been transported to this world. The only way you'll be able to tell them apart is because of the scarves I was kind enough to make for you. They've all got this note too, so don't worry.
Now, if you'll notice, it's a considerably cold Hearth's warming for these kind ponies. If you can help them, I'm sure they'll help you. Well, if you want to be used as a carpet. Or maybe some armour!
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Good luck! You're going to need it.
Your pal, Discord.
I read over the note, taking in every single detail. "Shit." Was all I could say. "So I'm going to be hunted for some kind of Hearth's Warming sport. Maybe I should... Maybe... a.....a......ACHOO!" I sneezed, shooting out red and green flames across the room, lighting up the dim cave. It was practically a light show, all the treasure in the room lighting up like miniature candles. I was dazzled by the brilliancy. "Wait! This has to be a dream! That's it!" I said, snapping my fingers.
...Well, claws.
I stabbed myself in the leg with one of my claws. Fun fact, it's not a dream. I screamed as I rolled on the floor of the cave, crashing into piles of treasure in my mad attempt to make myself feel better. Wait.... Where have I seen this before? Forget it, I'm leaving this lame cave. At least it's dark out.
I practised using my breath again, this time spraying a contant stream of the christmasy colors around the entrance of the cave. "Sexy." I noted out loud. I tried stretching my wings, and found that they complied almost instantly. Yay for instincts! I think I could get used to this. I started flapping my wings harder, achieving flight. I whizzed down the mountian, throwing up a trail of snow as I skimmed the thin coating of cold powder. I found out that the santa's hat was partically fixed to my head, so I didn't need to worry about it while flying. I quickly glanced over my shoulder, noticing my tail with a tip that almost looked like a holly leaf. I guess I'm a christmas dragon? I thought, compuzzled.
Now, when someone's looking behind them, gazing at their tail (Even if your tail's sexy, this rule still complies) while moving, or worse, flying, at high speeds, they're not looking in front of them. I'd honestly like to leave it at some trees were harmed in the making of this story. I recovered quickly though, landing on my feet. "My scales must be harder than steel!" I giggled gleefully, not even feeling a twinge of pain after destroying every tree in a straight line for about thirty feet. "But that also means that my claws must be almost diamond, being able to peirce my flesh so easily. Now, that hurt. I heard a noise behind me in the bushes. I spun around just to see a giant spider crawl out of the bushes.
I screamed. Its face lit up like a Christmas tree. Literally. An epic stream of redgreen flames enveloped the creature before it could even make a pokerface. If that was possible, at least.
"I feel like a badass, but I probably look like just any old lizard. Gotta find myself a pond so I can look at myself."
A small pond lay just between some bushes, through the small, freshly cleared, well, clearing. It was frozen over, and it looked like thick ice.
Thank you, lady luck!
I looked into my reflection. It was perfect. Four large houns protruded out of the back of my head, a small santa's hat covering one of the smaller front ones. I was maybe eight feet tall, which seemed small for a dragon. Oh, well. the scarf was quite pretty, looking awesome as it flowed in the faint breeze. My eyes were a peircing shade of blue, almost looking like sapphires in the dark evening. They were even more vivid against the aurora borealis glowing behind my head.
I'm beatiful. And I don't mean to sound like Rarity, but this scarf goes perfect with these scales.
I looked up and smiled. I couldn't even feel the cold because of my thick scales. I hope the others are alright. But, If one of them's a cockatrice or a spider, I'm going to dicover the meaning of 'Justifiable Homicide'.
I flew above the trees, glancing around. I saw a small glow in the distance, lit up by the light of the crescent moon and the overhead lights, dancing in the atmosphere. The snow sparkled too magnificently to be put into words.
"I guess I'll just have to go and check out that town over there. I guess It's ponyville?" I said confidently. "What could possibly go wrong?"
I faceclawed. "I just screwed myself over, didn't I?" I muttered to myself. Sighing, I flew off towards the Infamous town.
I steadily slowed as I approached Ponyville. My leg still hurt, but scales had already grown over it, effectively covering the wound. I noticed a large, flat plot of untouched snow. Turning on autopilot for this one.
Ever seen a field turn to ash? I snorted redgreen flames, leaving a straight line of burnt grass, scarring the midnight field. I then proceeded to land on the not-burnt side of the field. At least I didn't ruin all the snow. A rustle in the bushes made me look up. Scootaloo was running through the bushes, giggling hysterically. She stopped almost instantly when she saw me.
Shit.
"Um, Hello?" I softly called out to her. She just stared in shock.
Stupid idea time!
I picked up some snow, made a quick snowball, and chucked it at her. It hit her in the face. I started laughing et her blank expression. I glanced away for a second, and felt a small impact against the back of my head. I quickly swerved around to see a smiling Scootaloo with a snowball in her hoof. She quickly shrunk under my gaze, but then I smiled. "Oh, it's on!" I shouted at the little filly, picking up another clawful (?) of snow and throwing it at her. She started giggling and threw her own snowball after dodging mine. I did a frontflip over her snowball, forgetting to roll and landing with my face in the snow. I stood up absolutely covered. She started giggling, slowly approaching me. "It's ok." I told her, holding out my hand. She smiled cutely and suudenly shouted: "Cutie mark Crusader Dragon tamers!" And leapt on me. I was taken by surprise, but caught her mid-jump. We both laughed for a second. "Dash will want to meet you!" She said between her giggles. It was probably the cutest moment of my life, and it took all the effort possible just to not say right there and then, 'D'aww.' I was pulled by her (How, I'm still not sure. I should probably ask somebody around here how they hold things without hooves. I suddenly had an idea.
"Wait just a second, Scoots." I told the small filly. She gazed curiously as I pulled a branch from a nearby tree, and Lit the end on redgreen fire. It was like a makeshift torch, but it was stunningly beautiful. Poor scootaloo was mesmerized. "So, where are we going?" I asked her. She snapped out of it, and continued running through the underbrush, being careful not to burn any underbrush with this new tool. The tool burnt away anyway. Instantly, I might add, as it was no firewood.
As I finally exited the forest tailing Scootaloo, I noticed the Mane six, the rest of the crusaders, as well as Celsetia herself and another pony wearing a strange garment that effectively covered his whole body. They all glanced towards me and Scootaloo, and almost instantly I heard Rainbow yell "Run, Scoots!"
I know I thought of you before, and I'm sorry, but this time I really mean it, shit.
Before anyone could talk, the pony wearing the garments gasped. In shock, not fear like the others. He quickly took off his garment to reveal..... A matching scarf? He stood up from beside the princess, his night-blue fur blowing in the wind.
"What's going on here?" He asked, in that familiar voice. I gasped. "Jacob!" I ran over to him and picked him up of the ground, pulling him into a hug. The others slowly started backing away. We were both laughing, for what I'm sure nobody knows. His laughter trailed off, but mine got more intense. And evil. Did I mention my laugh sounds very evil? It's kind of scary. Even Jacob was looking at me funny by the time I was done. "Ryan, I think you're scaring our friends." Jacob told me." I just gave my lazy expression. "Sorry bro, must have slipped." Jacob rolled his eyes. Oh, and I also forgot to mention I was a troll. T'is truly wonderful to give rage all year round.
I turned back to the group of ponies who were staring at me uneasily. Twilight turned and asked Jacob "Do you know this... Dragon?" Jacob gave her a strange look and replied. "Yeah, we're kind of..." He turned to me. "Homies!" we yelled in sync, bumping fists. Or, at least claw and hoof. This is going to be stupid, I mean, we're not even the same species anymore. Dragons are obviously superior to ponies. Scootaloo turned to me. "Mister Ryan? Can you do the thing again?" I turned and stared at her. "What thing? Oh, that." I turned and looked at the night sky. I breathed in. "YOL, TOOR SHUL!" And breathed out an inferno of christmas joy. I've always like burning things, and the colorful blaze would make it so much more interesting. Strangely, Celestia started laughing. I mean, besides Jacob, who was rolling around on the ground in hysteria, but still, you catch my drift. I glanced at her in confusion. "We've got another strange creature here today. A fearsome one, at that." Jacob looked at Celestia seriously. "Fearsome? I think not. Hey, Ryan, you've got a spider on you. I rolled my eyes. "Do you seriously think I'm going to fall for tha...." I trailed off, feeling a tingling sensation on my arm. My left eye twitched.
"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" I shouted, falling over and rolling down the hill in a frenzied state. Fortunately, I killed it. Unfortunately, I managed to get so much snow stuck to me in the process that I wondered if I might get mistaken for a snow dragon. I shook it all off while running up the hill. I found them all laughing. A quick burst of fire from my lungs shut them up pretty quickly. Dash walked up to me, and I saw my chance.
I needed to ask her the most important question in the word. Empires may rise or fall, fail or succeed based on the answer. the fate of the world, no, the universe. No, the fate of every living creature anywhere depended on the answer of this one question.
"Does your mane taste like skittles, Dash?"
Her rosy cheeks seemed to get a little more rosy... "I-I don't know." She stammered. I grinned evilly. She slowly started backing away. I laughed out loud. Evilly, i might add. I started sprinting after her. Not surprisingly, she took to the sky. I was faster than her, and I stopped and sat down as she became smaller and smaller, before finally steering around to come back. I sneezed, making everyone jump. "Sorry." I said awkwardly, noticing a few burnt hairs in Celestia's mane. She smile gently, letting me know I was off the hook. Fake sneeze? Success! I just trolled trollestia, trololo. I chuckled. I noticed Rainbow sit down on the other side of the group, trying to stay as far away from me as possible.
I yawned. I realised just how exhausted I was. Success, everyone else started yawning too. "Hey, Is there somewhere I can crash for tonight?" I casually asked the group. "Cuz' I doubt any hotel in their right mind would accept a dragon." Rainbow dash outright refused, afraid of me doing something to her 'In her sleep.' Twilight was a bit more hospitable, agreeing that I could stay in her basement. Jacob looked mortified. "I don't want to sleep in the basement with a dragon!" Jacob quickly told her. I realised my hearing was way better than normal. I decided to start walking on all fours, as standing bipedally seemed to be a little... intimidating to say the very least. I was still as tall as Celestia whilst walking on all fours. We began to walk into town, and our aqaintances slowly began to break off and go to their seperate houses. Soon, it was only me, Twilight, Jacob, And Celestia. When we approached the library, I opened the door and signaled them to go first. "You're a true gentlecolt, Ryan." Twilight told me as she and Celestia went inside first. I made sure to cut Jacob off and go in first. The door was a tight squeeze, but I managed to fit my wings through eventually. I heard Jacob sigh frustradedly, but, hey, A troll's gotta troll. I made my way into the basement, promising to talk to Twilight about things in the morning. Ended up locking me in the basement, vouching to sleep on the couch instead. Of course, Twilight and Celestia didn't know. I sighed as I curled up on the floor.
I opened my eyes to see a tiny insect walking past me. I smiled at it until i noticed it had eight legs.
Meanwhile, Upstairs
Twilight heard a knock at the door to her room. "Come in." She said. Jacob walked in. "Did you turn up the heat in the house? I'm practically roasting in there." he asked her. Twilight scratched her head. She replied: "No, I didn't. Strange..."
I woke to see the blackened walls of the once plain concrete basement. And then I remembered what happened. That crazy spider was a jumping spider, and he whizzed around the room as I sprayed a constant stream of fire after the little bugger. At least Twilight fireproofed her entire house, just in case of a dragon attack. I also found out that my fire smells like peppermint. That's quite nifty, as it means my breath will always smell fresh, yet another perk of being a dragon. I managed to squeeze my way out of the basement door. Twilight must have unlocked it.
I noticed Jacob, Twilight, and Spike all had their backs truned to me, eating breakfast while talking about me. I leaned over Jacob's spot. "Good morning." I whispered in his ear. He flailed for a second before recognizing me. He just grumbled to himself while I turned to Spike. "I don't believe we've met, buddy." I held out a claw, though it was kind of sketchy because my hand was bigger than his head. He shook it, though he looked kind of nervous.
"What's for breakfast? Pancakes? They're not gems, but it'll have to do. I'm in."
After breakfast we went outside, and I noticed ponies staring in shock as I came out following Twilight. I'm personally not surprised, but at least they trust Twilight enough to not openly question her methods. "So, Twilight. I want to help around town, but I'm not sure what I could do. No one is going to be, well, not racist." I deadpanned. She thought for a second. "How about you and Jacob go to the Carousel Boutique? Everyone here trusts Jake, and I need you to ask Rarity for some new coats. This winter's a bit colder than most." She replied. "Aight, let's go." I said, giving a thumbs up. Jacob gave Twilight a quick peck on her cheek, and we walked off.
Wait... Rewind. What?
"Are you and Twilight together?" I asked him. He facehoofed. "Yes, for a week or two. Why?" He replied. I dropped the conversation. A week or two? How long has he been here? Meh, I don't even care anymore. What? I'm not jealous or anything. I decided to change the subject. "What kind of impression do you think I left on the others?" Jacob thought for a second before replying. "Well, Dash is probably scared of you after that stunt you pulled last night. Rarity will probably judge you based off your apparell, so I'd say you're good there. You're almost as random as Pinkie, you two will probably make good friends. I'm not sure about 'Shy or Aj though." He replied finally. I faceclawed. "'After the stunt last night'? You make it sound like I tried to rape her or something." He gave me a look. "Well..." he started. "Don't." I cut him off. I don't need to hear a detailed explanation of yesterday's events. And besides, he's the only other person with OCD I know, besides Twilight. Maybe that's why they get along so well?
As we approached Carousel Boutique, I could hear Rarity fussing over some kind of coat inside. Well, I guess Rarity has OCD too. Do all unicorns have it? Then it hit me.
The snowball, I mean.
"Scootaloo!" I shouted as I glanced over my shoulder. I saw her and the other CMC run off giggling. I faceclawed yet again.
"Let's just get these coats and get out of here." I sighed, turning to my companion.
It took alot of insisting, but I finally managed to convince Rarity that I didn't need a coat, and that I like my scales just fine. Jacob just sat and watched. After we got out, we agreed that he would take our deliveries to Pinkie and Twilight, and that I would take it to Rainbow, Applejack, And Fluttershy. Shy's cottage is secluded, Dash's house is kind of floating, and Sweet apple acres is on the other side of town. I could make it everywhere faster with my wings, and I needed to make a better impression on the three of them. Win-win situation. Applejack accepted it gratefully, and I managed to convince Flutters to leat me in for a quick chat over some tea. Damn, I love tea. It somehow tastes better in Equestria, oddly enough.
I made sure to save Dash for last.
I knocked on her door. "I'm coming." A muffled voice came from inside. She opened the door, and her pupils shrank to a size I didn't think was possible. She quickly slammed the door shut. I sighed, and knocked again. "Go away!" I heard her call from inside. "Oh, come on! I just want to give you this coat!" I shouted. She opened the door just a crack, and I waved the delivery in front of her. She opened the door and gladly took the coat, putting it on. "Thanks, I guess." She told me ungratefully. "Don't mention it." I said, winking at her. I then proceeded to do a backflip off of her cloud-porch, regaining balance and charging to the library. At least Twilight told the town that I was friendly, but apparently to hide any of their pet spiders if I come to visit. As if I would visit anybody, er, anypony who is crazy enough to have a pet spider.
As I opened the door, I noticed that it was very dark in the library. As I closed the door behind me I heard a very loud "SURPRISE!" erupt from all the ponies gathered as the lights turned on. I will admit I screamed, but only a little. Turns out that Pinkie had thrown a surprise party, though I wasn't surprised that I got one, just that it had happened so soon.
I sat down beside a side table with Twilight. She was acting strange. I mean, stranger than normal. "What's bothering you?" I asked her. "Well, it's just that... um..." She stuttered. I fixed her with my best 'Are you fucking kidding me?' look. She sighed and started to explain. "It's just that Dash kind of-" She was cut off when Pinkie came out from under my hat and whispered "You Pinkie promised!" Wait.... What? I thought my hat was Attached to my head. "How did Pinkie just do that?" I asked Twilight. Suddenly I felt my jaws part and Pinkie climbed out from my mouth. "No reason, silly!" She told me. I was confused. Compuzzled, even. My mind had literally stopped working as I brainlessly tried to stutter something. I probably sat there for about five minutes, just sitting there with one eye twitching and my mouth limply hanging open.
I felt crazy. That's probably it, I'm just going insane. I mean, come on? Ponies? I'm a sexy dragon? ......Personal witness to the fourth wall being broken? Magic? Giant spiders? I grinned stupidly as I fell to the floor, chuckling. Ponies gathered around me as I lay on the floor laughing manaically. Jacob facehoofed. "He's lost it."
I giggled as some ponies in white came to take me away. "When did I have it in the first place?" I asked, smiling as I was put in a strange vest and dragged me away.
"Well, that's one way to end a party."
I giggled at the random darkness in the cell, my laughter the only thing heard in the solid concrete room. Turns out ponies know enough about dragon to know to pinch a spot at the base of the throat to deaden the dragon's ability to breathe fire.
Now I've got a collar on me just to stop me from burning everything. And on top of that, I was bound in just such a way that I couldn't use either my hands or arms. I'm like a christmasy statue in a corner.
All those ponies. They drove me to this... And Jacob's with them. He chose them over me. One girl over a friend that he had known for more than ten years? That's..... Cold. And the others were no exception. They're all hiding... Maybe they're scared of me?
Oh well. At least one fellow still visited me.
Even though he didn't come in using the door. I would just blink and he'd be there. He was a tall fellow, sharply dressed always. Every time he'd visit he would be wearing the same black tuxedo and red tie. We would talk. Well, I would talk. He can talk in my head. It tends to be hard to talk to someone without a mouth. Or a face, for that matter. But after the events of the past few days, I knew better than to question his methods.
We were in the middle of talking about skittles (Still waiting to check Dash's mane, that reminds me.) when I was interrupted by one of the ponies who worked in the asylum. "Stop talking to yourself, and get ready. You've got some company coming to visit today." I just rolled my eyes. Great. And I was already with company in the first place, but they don't care.
No sooner than three minutes later I heard the sound of keys rattling outside my door. Jacob thanked the guard and nervously stepped inside. My new friend left quickly, without saying goodbye. he only does that when we're interrupted. He's such a shy man. "Hey, buddy." Jacob quietly murmured.
I just stared at the night-blue pony. After a few seconds of awkward silence he persisted. "Hey, come on, it's not that bad." he coaxed. I snorted. "You interrupted my conversation." was all I told him. He sighed in defeat. Then he did probably the rudest thing that one could imagine someone do. He called in all the girls and both the princesses! Well, there goes any chance of me keeping him as a friend. They looked nervous. They should be, even though I was practically tied to my bed. A bed that was at least four feet too small. We all stayed put for about five minutes. Well, they did. I was attached to my bed, with my wings clamped around my body for fuck's sake! "Screw this, I'm going to sleep." I told them, leaning my head back on the pillow. Twilight piped up instantly. "We just came to talk to you!" she stated. I grunted. "Then talk."
They sighed, before Celestia spoke up. "We know you must be confused by the recent events, but we're here to help."
I smirked. I opened my mouth to respond, before noticing my friend had reappeared. I smiled openly this time. "Oh, you're back." I said warmly. Jacob glanced over his shoulder, and I saw his pupils shrink to pinpricks. An earsplitting scream erupted from his throat before he crashed to the ground, gasping. My tall buddy had disappeared as swiftly as he had appeared. I glared at Jacob. "That was rude." I scolded Jacob. "You just openly scream at my only friend?" He was still in shock though, and didn't seem to hear my words. The others had only gotten a breif glance at him, and all of them seemed a bit scared to say the least.
Twilight was kneeling beside Jacob, gently whispering in his ear while glancing back at the corner occasionally.
Celestia started up again. "Well, it seems your new... friend is quite an... interesting fellow, to say the least.
Jacob started whispering "Slender man..." to the group of ponies.
That's why he seemed so familiar! I quickly recalled the lyrics to an old song from back on earth.
"Slender man, Slender man, dressed in darkest suit and tie. Slender man, Slender man, you most certainly will die! " I whispered loudly, before releasing a creepy giggle and falling back into my pillow. Poor Jacob sounded like he was having a heart attack. The others looked scared. Insanely scared. I sat back up. "No, seriously though, Slendy's a good guy." I told them. "He's just misunderstood, S'all."
Celestia just blinked a few times before finally focusing on me again. "We're going to let you out, but I need you to try and at least act sane around other ponies." She stated.
"Aight." I replied with a small smile. "Promise?" Twilight asked. I fixed her with a glare. "I don't go back on an 'Aight' you know." I told her sternly. Jacob, who was finally managing to get to his feet, added "It's true." before taking a few deep breaths. Celestia smiled and took off my bindings using her magic. I leapt to my feet and pulled Jacob into a hug, squeezing all the air out of him. "I made a new friend and got out of the asylum on the same day? The fun has been doubled!" I shouted. Luna facehoofed.
"Well, what are we going to do now?" I asked the others. They brightened instantly. "We're going to canterlot for an early Hearth's warming party!" Pinkie shouted. I smiled. I pulled sunglasses out from behind my back and put them on.
"How did you do that?" Jacob asked. I smiled. "All I'll say is that Pinkie isn't the only one who broke the wall. Insanity can do that to a dragon." I stated matter-of-factly. "Now, onward! To Canterlot!" I shouted, running out of my.... box and down the hall. Jacob sighed. "I don't even want to tell him about how much alcohol there's going to be." He whispered to Twilight before following me.
I'm Blue! (Dah Bah Dee...)
I pushed open the doors to the hotel and broke into a sprint. I flashed a quick glance over my shoulder.
"Kyle! Hurry up, I don't want to be late, there's alcohol to be had and ponies to meet!" I shouted back at the griffin before continuing my mad dash. Hm, Dash. Wait.
Alcohol, Rainbow Dash, Me....
Nope nope nope, don't think about that. I'm making sure that our relationship will be LEGIT, no sly techniques or cheating. If I even hope for that kind of stuff... Oh well, I'm getting ahead of myself again. Why is my right hand so cold? I thought, shooting a glance at it. It looked fine, only it felt like it was frozen. Which was strange, because I'm a bipedal dragon. My hand wasn't dragging in the snow, so why was it colder than my feet, which were? "Kyle! Come on, hurry up!" I shouted again, throwing another glance behind me. He was gone. I froze for a second.
Where did that little bugger go? I wondered, flying up into the air to look around. Wait.... Flying is faster than running. Kyle, you glorious bastard! I realized as I bolted off towards the party in pursuit. I noticed hm ahead of me but I quickly overtook him, and he shot me a wry glance as I left him in my metaphorical dust. I landed at the party soon after. The party looked great, It was held in one of the many parks of Canterlot. Open fires in fireplaces littered here and there, and I could see ponies wearing coats and scarves. And stuff. The first thing I noticed that I cared about was dubstep blaring through speakers. I could recognize the generic theme from back home on good ol' earth.
As I started to walk towards the centre I could see Jacob and Twilight hanging out near the side, talking about something while Jacob's right hoof was twitching contantly. The same with Kyle when he landed. Alright, so it isn't a coincidence. I realized, flashing a glare at my own hand. I shugged it off as I noticed Celestia and Luna approaching Twi and Jake. I started to make my way over to them before Celestia lifted her wing and a Orange alicorn was revealed to me. Jacob looked shocked. I smiled gently. If scarves could speak, I'd say we just found Daniel.
Oh, and his hoof was twitching too. Odd, that.
Celestia and Luna seemed to not enjoy the music too well, while Dainel's and Kyle's appendages were tapping to the beat, waiting for the brutal bass to kick in. Personally, I had made dubstep myself, but I always enjoyed a fellow musician's works. I could recognize this specific work from back home, and that befuddled me. I know, right? I love that word...
Come on, drop. I waited as the music faltered slightly for a second.
I gently tapped Daniel on the shoulder, and he turned to me with a gasp. "Ryan!" He shouted happily.
I crossed my arms and flashed him a smirk. "The one and only." I replied.
I felt my eye starting to twitch. The cold was starting to really frustrate me now. I glanced back at my hand, frowning. I could hear them speaking in the backround but I was distracted. I finally swore and enveloped my hand in the christmasy colors of my fire. I smiled for a second as the feeling faded. I frowned agan when the fire didn't go away.
"Um, shit. A little help here?" I asked as my hand remained on fire. I saw Princess Luna roll her eyes and poke my hand gently with her horn. Suddenly the flame shot up my arm and started enveloping my entire body.
"What did you do?" I shouted, starting to panic. She looked confused and scared.
"I...." She trailed off, starting to panic as well. The christmas flames had now covered my entire body.
Pain lanced through me, as I felt my very skin starting to burn. Kind of. I started running around, flailing my now burning arms in the air, screaming like a girl. I admit it, but, the situation had already gone to hell and back, so, why not? I fell and started rolling in the snow, panicking as the snow around me just melted. I was now rolling down the hill, aiming for what I thought looked like a river. It was hard to tell, seeng as how I was flailing and screaming while rolling. By now the entire party must be staring at me. As I impacted the ice-cold water, I felt my body tense up. The fire went out instantly, but, unfortunately, my scarf and my hat were burnt.
Wait just a buckin' second.... My hat's a part of me! How did it burn? I realized. A flash of light appeard on my right hand, and I could see a silver and onyx ring fade in around my finger. I didn't have time to think about it as I dragged myself out of the water, panting heavily. I could see hooves move in front of me, and I coughed slightly.
"Ryan? What happened?" Rainbow's voice asked. I slowly sat up, and I shuddered.
"Weird shit, my friend." I groaned, placing a hand against my forehead.
I was already shivering, and I was freezing too. I shot a glance at my hand, and the ring looked quite pretty in the faded moonlight. But, one other thing made me recoil in shock. I'm a blue dragon now? Oh, wait, the Christmas season is over, so... Maybe I change with the seasons. I could feel icicles starting to form on my jaw, and my teeth were chattering uncontrollably. Dash was looking at me in a concerned way. I frustratedly breathed a quick burst of fire, and this time... I could feel it. Building in my throat, heating up my insides, and finally coming to rest on my hand, which abruptly caught fire. Again. This time I didn't panic, and I could feel the fire on me, and I was controlling it's movement. I slowly but completely enveloped my entire body in the flame, except my eyes. I felt the warm, comfortable feeling on my body as the bright cyan flames licked along my body. And not like that, you sick bastard.
I started to warm up, and I quickly glanced at Rainbow. Before she could protest, I quickly pulled her into a hug, and she let out a squeal. But, she stopped struggling instantly, sofly placing her head against my flaming shoulder. Maybe these flames only hurt what I want them to? I thought, bringing a smile onto my face. A sudden click followed by a flash made me glance up quickly. Kyle had a camera in his hand and he shot me a you're fucked! smile as he started to run away laughing. I let out a faint growl as I released Rainbow Dash.
"Get back here!" I shouted as I booked shit after the poor griffin.
He didn't stand a chance.
I pulled the camera from his bruised body and crushed it in my hand.
"You just about ruined Rainbow's notoriety, which would have made her blame me, which would have ruined mine and her's friendship, which would eventually lead to me brutally murdering you. Makes sense?" I snarled at him.
He grunted. "Yes, just, please don't kill me. Or go all Molestia on-"
"Don't mention that here unless you want to be banished to the moon." I interrupted, helping him to his feet. "Now, let's get back to the party before someone thinks murder actually happened."
We walked along the streets, me helping him as he limped slightly. I had dispelled my flame-armour.... ooh, I like that name! ... After I got off the main party grounds. By the time we finally got back, The dubstep had finally faded off and the DJ put on a different tune. This song was one that I could easily recognize. Me and Kyle instantly glanced at one another as we took a seat.
We started off the song.
We can dance if we want to.
We can leave your friends behind.
'Cuz your friends don't dance and if they don't dance,
well, they're no friends of mine!
I say, we can go where we want to.
A place they will never find!
And we act like we come from out of this world,
Leave the real one far behind.
Before we could dwell on the irony of this statement, we were interrupted when the others came up to us.
"You guys cool?" Dan asked before anyone else could say anything.
I glanced at Kyle. "We cool." I said, and we bumped fists. The music kept on playing in the background while we all started up a conversation. Well, they did. I A.D.H.D'd the first chance I got, and I ended up watching the fire nearest to us. I stood up and made my way over to the bar table... thing.
"I'll take.... Moonshine." I stated quickly. The bartender chuckled slightly.
"Well, if it isn't Ryan, the flammable dragon of the hour." She replied slyly.
I faceclawed.
"Can I please just have some alcohol? I'd sooner forget that event, Ma'am." I replied, sighing.
Sooner than I realized, The others guys joined me at the bar, including Rainbow Dash in with the festivities. Now, I'm going to be perfectly honest. I don't remember what happened, other than that more alcohol became involved. It's kind of blurry, but we started making our own shots around three in the morning, approximately. I also faintly remember passing out somewhere outside of the hotel, though it was, as I stated earlier, very blurry.
I woke up with a pounding headache, sore bones and a terrible thirst in my throat. I recoiled at the faint sun coming through the window, and I painfully raised my hand to block the sunlight. I groaned, and I slowly rolled away from the sun to see... A cyan pegasus gently snoring. Oh God, what happened last night? I thought violently. Thoughts of me and Dash filled my head, and I flinched slightly at them. The bedsheets were clean, and that had to stand for something... Right? Suddenly Rainbow started moving, letting out a quiet groan.
"What happened last night?" She murmured to herself, rubbing her head.
She turned around to glance out the window, and she tensed up when she saw me. There was an awkward silence. And I mean an awkward, awkward silence. I was surprised when she smiled slightly, but that wasn't the surprise. I gasped in shock as she inched closer and wrapped her arms around me. She glanced up at me, a soft gleam in her hung-over fuschia eyes. She had a nasty case of bedhead, but I didn't mind.
"What's the matter? Didn't expect to be sleeping beside the fastest flier in Equestria?" She softly teased before snuggling closer to me.
Only one thought went through my mind as I gently hugged her closer and closed my eyes.
Like a boss.
I was whistling a merry tune on the train ride to Canterlot, as I had no intention of just flying there, I couldn't be bothered. Besides, I don't think that Jacob has recovered from his interaction with Slendy. Oh well. He told me that we'd meet up in Whitetail woods after I got back. Looking forward to it, actually.
Twilight's voice brought me out of my thoughts. She was attempting to comfort Jacob. Meh. I needed to ask her something. "Hey, Twi." I called. She stood up from my now-sleeping friend and made her way over to me. "What is it, Ryan?" She asked. Well, that's a start, and she dosen't sound mad that I scared Jacob. That's three points for being insane. "I remember I asked you something at the party, and you were telling me before we were interrupted. So, would you like to continue?" I asked her. She let out a deep sigh. "It's just that-" she was cut off by Pinkie climbing out of her mane. "You Pinkie promised!" She whispered cryptically. I quickly grabbed Pinkie, and stuffed her into a cannon (That's right, I know how to break the fourth wall now.) and pointed it out the window towards Canterlot. "Meet you there, Pinks." I said before triggering the fuse with a quick burst of fire. She was gone before too long.
Twilight was glaring at me in shock. "That was rude." She stated finally. "And how did you do that? I thought Pinkie was the only one who could do things like that." I smiled. "I figured it out. Now, as you were saying?" I asked her. She facehoofed. "It's basically that Dash thinks you're some kind of psycho rapist or something." She stated, slowly spinning her hoof in a circle to exaggerate, exaggeration. "Oh, that's fine. I just have to apoligize to Rainbow or something. As you can probably tell, I'm not currently the most sane friend you have, so, Meh." I said, shrugging. She seemed slightly confused at this. "Are you sure you're not at all offended?" she asked. I shrugged. "It's kind of a tradition of mine. I follow the customs of my forefathers, learning what we can but not giving any fucks. Well, I'm sure it's tradition at least. We're orphans." I stated, signaling between me and Jacob. She fixed me with a surprised expression. "I didn't know Jake was an orphan." She stated, walking over to him and taking a seat beside him. "I assumed that Chrysalis had just exiled him or something." She mused, rubbing a hoof through his mane.
Wait.....
Chrysalis? What?
"He's a changeling?" I asked her, surprised. She glanced at me in shock. "You didn't know? But I thought you had known each other for years!" She stated, standing up. Damn it, alien time. "Well..." I started. "Fuck it, it'll take too long to explain." I finished. I like keeping things brief, y'know? She sighed. "Fine, that'll have to do for now. But I know this is more than just a strange coincidence." She finalized, with one last glare at me before picking up Jacob with her magic and going into the sleeping car. Well, at least I managed to avoid the question. And with Pinkie gone, not only would I be able to get a good sleep, but no weird shit like 'Cupcakes' would happen. Ugh, cupcakes. Why did I have to see that? Now I'm screwed, I will never be able to take the party pony seriously again. But... I could use that example to tell Daniel why Pinkie was worse! Wait.... I should probably warn Dash to not make any cupcakes with Pinkie. Dear God, that story made me and Daniel not talk for almost a month.
Don't think about it.
I made my way into the sleeping car and plopped into my bunk, noticing that Jacob and Twilight were sleeping peacefully in bed together. Well, one friend's probably in a good place right now. Just before I fell asleep I heard the door to our cart open. A large griffin made his way through the cart, and he seemed like a normal griffin..... Other than the fact that he had a colorful scarf. It was in glorious shades of red, yellow, and green. Wait a second. "Oi!" I shouted at him. He stopped instantly. He slowly turned around. "The only person I know who says that is..." He muttered to himself. "Ryan?" He asked outright. "Ky-....ow..." I was cut off when I fell out of my bunk and hit the ground of the car. "Kyle!" I called, getting back to my feet. "Ryan!" he shouted, pulling me into a tight brohug. The kid I always thought of as my little brother was finally reunited with me. I wanted to cry with joy, but I still had a reputation to upkeep. The others, who were jolted from sleep by the constant shouting, slowly climbed out of the bed, complaning. Except for Jacob, of course. He looked shocked. "Kyle?" He asked quietly, still half-asleep. I pulled him out of his bed and into the tight hug. We seperated soon enough, covering it up with awkward coughs. "So..... Yeah." I said quietly. "Welcome back, Kyle." Kyle smiled gently. "Thanks, buddy." Rainbow rolled her eyes. Twilight held out a hoof and Kyle quickly took it and shook it gently. "So.... What have you guys been up to while I was gone? He asked quietly. Jacob let out a snort. "Well, our friend Ryan here burnt a field, burnt a basement, went insane, met Slenderman, and learned to break the fourth wall." He listed. I faceclawed. "You say that like I was unjustified at doing so." I replied instantly. Kyle frowned for a second before breaking into an even bigger smile. "You met Slenderman? That's badass!" He stated. "There you go. You're outvoted, Jacob. Slenderman is awesome. And, Ryan, I'm meeting him when we get back to Ponyville. You wanna come with?" I asked. "That's hoping we make it back after the party. Hearth's warming eve is tomorrow, and there's going to be a party tonight." Jacob interrupted. My eyes opened wide. "Are the princesses coming?" I asked quickly. He nodded. I rubbed my hands together.
"They're getting party treatment. I need Pinkie pie in here. We're going to plan the best. Party. Ever." I stated happily.
The ponies looked confused. Kyle quickly piped up. "Ryan's like the Pinkie pie from where we're from. He throws the best parties, I'm not even kidding. They're LEGENDARY." He stated. I smiled. "I didn't know you thought so highly of my parties." I asked him. He smiled this time. "Of course bro. No biggie." He assured. I frowned for a second. "Now I regret shooting Pinkie out of that cannon..." I trailed off. The others gasped. "It's alright, I forgive you." Pinkie cheerfully climbing out from under her matress. "Aww, thanks, Pinks." I said, giving her a gentle hug just to show them that I held no hard feelings against the pony. "And we have a party to plan... For Hearth's warming, dear Pinkamena." I finished. "But now, It's late. and I'm pretty sure it's almost midnight. So, happy Hearth's warming eve, everyone." I stated before climbing into my bed. I heard a collective sigh behind me. Rainbow quietly climbed onto the bunk above me. Everyone else climbed into their beds quietly. We had a twelve-bed box, because they didn't have a nine-bed cart for all of us. Twilight had decided to sleep with Jacob, Pinkie and AJ were on one set, Rarity and Fluttershy, me and Rainbow, and, of course, Spike sat near the back. Kyle took the bed across from Spike.
I sat there for awhile, thinking about some random things. I heard the gentle snores of the others, and I realised how late it was. I tried to fall asleep, but something was nagging at the back of my mind. I heard a gentle sigh from above me. "Dash? Are you awake?" I called quietly. She took a few seconds to respond. "Yes." She sighed quietly. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier.I acted kind of creepy. And you seem like a nice mare, I... Kind of want to become better freinds with you. Will you forgive me?" I whispered quietly. I'm not one for random emotional shit, but, I kind of wanted to get to know Dash. I heard Dash give another sigh. "I forgive you, Ryan. And I'm sorry too. I may have said some things about you." She replied softly. Rainbow Dash is showing emotion? Was that possible? I smiled gently. "It's alright, Dash. I don't mind. I'm sure you were just frustrated and scared." I could.... sense her being happy. Could dragons..... Sense emotion? I didn't care about this new power. At least Dash finally cares about me. Well, as much as she cared about a friend. Well, 'caring' may be a bit of an early exaggeration. At least she trusts me. There we go, I'm going all emotional again. But.... Maybe me and her could get together... like.... Her being my marefriend? Alright, fuck off mind. I need to listen to Dash. "I'm glad you forgive me too..... Ryan." She was cut off by a yawn. I frowned for a second. "You sound awfully tired. And though I want to talk to you, you need your sleep. We can't have Equestria's best flier falling sick from exhaustion, can we?" I stated. "But I want to...." She was cut off by another yawn. "Don't worry, we can talk in the morning, Dash. Good night." I gently whispered. She sighed. "Good night, Ryan." She murmured. " 'Night, Dash." I quietly called. Gentle, rhythmic snores followed from above soon after. I smiled gently. Sleep well.
I was drifting in a strange forest, and I could see large fish swimming through the sky while unicorn horns flew around, chirping in the silent woods. Many large lobsters walked around, and the woods were shrouded in a rasta pattern as the sun, which looked like a giant dolphin, started to set.
Holy Fuck, I am high.
I felt a strange sensation, and the forest started to fade around me. "Ryan." I heard a voice in my subconscious. I felt myself flailing in a void. "Ryan." The voice again, and it was a little louder, and clearer. Trying to off this high, fuck off mind-voice. I silently scolded my brain.
I hope my mind felt ashamed of itself.
But the voice kept calling louder and louder. I started to recognize the voice. Dash? I felt my shoulder being shook. I was suddenly jolted awake. "Ryan!" Dash called into my ear. "W-what?" I asked, shaken after being jostled from my sleep so suddenly. "What is it? What's wrong?" I asked, strongly alert now. Dash recoiled slightly. "It's just that we're here, and we're getting off the train, so I..." She trailed off timidly. Dash being timid? What? How? Why? "Is something wrong?" I asked seriously. "No." She replies quickly. Too quickly. "But we need to go, the princesses are expecting to see us." She finalized before speeding out of the train car. I stood up slowly, stretching and making my way out of the cart into the frosty morning air. What's wrong with Dash? I thought curiously. I shrugged it off as stress. "Hurry up!" Jacob shouted across the station. I rushed my way over to the group, catching some nervous glances from the locals. Princess Luna was waiting across from the station, making her way across to the group. A group of guards ran over and cut me off. I rolled my eyes, calling out to Luna to assist me. She came over and dismissed the guards, saying something about me being 'A friend of the princesses' and that I was 'absolutely harmless'. Why do I keep sending the impression that I'm harmless?
Come now, Wait till I start to feel like a pyromaniac.
The rest of the day went by without any real events. We booked rooms in a nearby hotel, each person with their own room. I got settled in basically, and took a nap before the party. Kyle came in and shook me awake, not unlike Dash did earlier. "Come on, It's time for the party." He repeated for the ninth time. I finally rolled over and climbed out of bed. "Shit, Parties. I forgot I was going to plan with Pinkie. I'll have to assist with one when we finally get back to Ponyville." I stated.
"But for now, we have a party to attend. And if there's less than twenty kinds of alcohol at this party..." I paused.
"I'm going to be dissapointed."
