My Not-So-Little Pony Write-Off

A bell chime rang through Sugarcube Corner, as it always did whenever somepony opened the door. Today, the door-opener was Fluttershy. (I’m not going to bother describing any of these characters, because if you’re reading this, you know who they are anyway.) Pinkie Pie immediately bounced over to her.

“Hi Fluttershy, what can I get for you today?” Pinkie Pie asked with her usual enthusiasm. “You should try the cakecups, I made them myself!” She gestured to a row of cups containing cake batter and frosting.

Fluttershy looked down. “No thanks,” she declined the offer politely. She began to say something else, but was interrupted.

“If you didn’t want to buy anything, why did you go to a bakery?” Pinkie asked, befuddled. “Ponies go to bakeries to buy delicious treats!”

“I was hoping you could give me some advice.” Fluttershy’s voice was somehow even quieter than usual.

Pinkie thought for a moment. “Don’t ever make a clone of yourself. It’s not nearly as fun as it seems.”

“No, I meant,” Fluttershy paused. Something on the floor had apparently become incredibly interesting. She finally finished the sentence with, “relationship advice.”

“Oh, why didn’t you say so?” asked Pinkie, happily as ever. “Who is it?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to-” Fluttershy stopped mid-sentence again. “Can we go somewhere less... public?”

“Okee dokee loki!” Pinkie led Fluttershy up the back stairs, and to her room on the top floor. Pinkie shut the door after Fluttershy had entered, and proceeded to stare at her expectantly.

“Pinkie,” Fluttershy started, “you spend a lot of time with Rainbow Dash, right?”

“Oh, I get it!” Pinkie exclaimed proudly. “You want me to help you get together with Rainbow Dash, right?”

“Yes,” Fluttershy admitted.

Pinkie pulled a piece of paper (that’s called alliteration) out of nowhere, and titled it “Operation Get-Fluttershy-Together-With-Rainbow-Dash”. The title took up most of the page.

“If you want Rainbow Dash to like you, you’re gonna have to remind her of other things she likes,” Pinkie decided.

“Are you sure it works like that?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course, silly!” Pinkie replied. “So, what kinds of things does Rainbow Dash like?”

“Flying. The Wonderbolts. Stunts. Doing stunts while flying,” Fluttershy listed off. She thought for a moment and added, “Apple cider.”

Pinkie had written down each item on her paper. “Do you think you can impress Rainbow Dash with your flying skills?” she asked.

“Pinkie, you’ve seen me fly, right?” Fluttershy reminded her gently.

“Oh yeah,” Pinkie started to giggle, but when her friend wasn’t amused, she quickly stopped herself. She looked at the list and crossed off the first four items. “Cider it is, then!” Pinkie decided.

“Making cider’s really more of Applejack’s job,” Fluttershy said, ready to give up. “Oh, I’m sorry I bothered you, this will never work.”

“No, silly, you won’t be making cider,” Pinkie explained unhelpfully. “Believe me, this’ll work, or my name isn’t “Pinkamena “Responsibility” Diane “Fun” Pie”!”(Yes, I stole that joke. Muhaha. I’m evil.)

In case you’re confused as to why a giant line is interrupting an incredibly awkwardly written scene, it’s because the giant line is actually a page break. This way, I can just skip to the next scene without having to describe any of the stuff that happened between the two. Don’t worry, the only things I skipped were the robot pirate attack, the time all of Equestria was turned into Skyrim, and the time when Discord, Chrysalis, and King Sombra teamed up, but were defeated singlehoofedly by Derpy. Oh, here’s the page break now:

“Are ya’ll sure ‘bout this, sugarcube?” asked Applejack.

“Well, Pinkie was sure that it wouldn’t be dangerous,” Fluttershy replied unconvincingly. “Something about cartoon physics.”

“Ah don’t understand half of what that mare says,” Applejack remarked.

“Neither do I,” Fluttershy admitted. “But she wouldn’t lie about it.”

“Alright, ah suppose ya’ll can come around back when ya’ll are ready.” Applejack disappeared into the cellar.

Fluttershy headed around to the back of the Apple’s house, near where the trees started. Applejack came out of a second cellar entrance, pulling several large barrels behind her.

“I don’t think we’ll need... that many,” Fluttershy said softly.

“Ah suppose not,” admitted Applejack. “Ya’ll ready?”

Fluttershy once again contemplated backing out, but finally decided to respond, “Yes.”

Applejack lifted the first barrel of cider and positioned the spigot such that it would drain into Fluttershy’s mouth. She flipped the valve.

The cider flowed out far faster than Fluttershy had anticipated. She swallowed as fast as she could, but couldn’t keep up. She took a step back, which caused a significant amount of the cider to splash onto the ground before Applejack could stop it.

“Look what ya’ll’ve done!” Applejack said. Her voice had an annoyed edge to it.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy managed to gasp out, catching her breath.

Applejack’s annoyance disappeared. “It’s okay, sugarcube. Ya’ll ready to go again?”

“Again?” Fluttershy squeaked. “I thought, maybe, we should,” she dropped to almost inaudible levels, “stop?”

Applejack looked at Fluttershy. The pegasus’s belly was about the same size as Pinkie’s, after she’d done that thing where she ate an entire cake whole.

“We Apple’s got a saying,” Applejack said. “Finish what ya’ll start. Here, I’ll even help ya.” She advanced toward Fluttershy, holding a rope. Fluttershy attempted to protest, but her near-inaudible voice was no match for Applejack’s lasso skills. Applejack tied Fluttershy’s front legs together to stop her from backing out again, and gently secured her wings down to prevent flying away (like with Rainbow Dash in that one episode, in case you want a visual reference for some reason.). Then, she lifted another barrel to Fluttershy’s mouth and released the valve. The pegasus had no choice but to force down all the cider that was rapidly flowing out. She could feel herself becoming more and more bloated with every swallow. The rope around her wings got stretched tighter and tighter, until finally the size of Fluttershy’s gut caused it to snap. Flying was pretty much out of the question at this point, though. Fluttershy’s belly continued to swell, to the point where it managed to touch the ground.

By the time the barrel was empty, Fluttershy’s hooves could barely reach the ground.

“How are ya’ll feelin’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, setting the barrel back down and inspecting Fluttershy’s swollen figure.

Fluttershy considered. Somehow, Pinkie had been right. At no point during the process had she been in any pain. Admittedly, she was somewhat uncomfortable and extremely embarrassed. She didn’t say any of this to Applejack though. Instead, she hiccuped loudly.

Applejack laughed, and poked at Fluttershy’s expanded stomach. It sloshed around and tickled slightly. Fluttershy couldn’t help but giggle. She stopped immediately at Applejack’s next statement, though.

“Ah think ya’ll can get a bit more in there,” Applejack decided, grabbing another barrel.

“I don’t,” Fluttershy whimpered.

“It’s mah cider, ah get to decide how much ya’ll drink,” Applejack told her. She began to pour the second barrel before Fluttershy could object.

Before even a quarter of the barrel was emptied, Fluttershy couldn’t reach the ground at all with her front hooves. Her belly continued to grow, raising her head higher and higher. Applejack was straining to reach her mouth with the barrel. She turned off the flow.

“Sugarcube, ah’ve got to request that ya’ll either lean forward, or lay on your back,” Applejack requested.

“I think we should -hic- stop,” Fluttershy requested, raising her front legs as if that would somehow convince Applejack.

“Alright,” said Applejack, causing Fluttershy to breathe a sigh of relief. Her relief didn’t last long, however, as Applejack proceeded to walk over and roll the bloated pegasus onto her back. Getting some of the pressure off her belly was nice, Fluttershy had to admit, but the rolling made her feel slightly sick.

“Ya’ll ready?” Applejack returned to the barrel.

“No,” whimpered Fluttershy.

“There’s only a little left,” Applejack told her. “Ya’ll aint getting away until ya’ll finish this, anyhow.”

Not having Applejack’s permission was the least of the reasons why Fluttershy wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon. Realizing this, Fluttershy tried to think of what she could say to stall for time. While she was busy thinking, Applejack grabbed an as-of-yet unused barrel, stuck the spigot into Fluttershy’s mouth, and started the flow.

There was less pressure on Fluttershy’s expanding belly while she was lying on her back, although it was smothering her somewhat. Applejack managed to get the rest of the barrel into the pegasus, then cast it aside to admire her handiwork (hoofiwork?).

Fluttershy’s stomach was large enough that, if someone were to have a hollow life-size statue made of it, a pony could have stood inside the statue comfortably. As it was, Fluttershy hiccupped several times while Applejack untied her friend’s front hooves.

“How are ya’ll feelin’, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, poking at Fluttershy’s oversized gut.

Fluttershy hiccupped again, then thought. She decided to respond with, “Big.”

“Well, ah can’t argue with that,” Applejack laughed.

“Do you think Rainbow Dash will -hic- like it?” Fluttershy asked.

“Right,” Applejack remembered. “Rainbow Dash. Ah’ll go get her.” Applejack galloped off, leaving Fluttershy with nothing to do until somepony else showed up.

Hey look, it’s another one of those page breaks. It’s almost as if, earlier, I was foreshadowing that there would be more. Anyway, here comes the story again:

“Fluttershy? Are you around here somewhere?” Rainbow Dash flew over Sweet Apple Acres. “Applejack said that I would find you here.”

“Down here,” Fluttershy called back softly.

Rainbow Dash looked down, and immediately saw the massive belly that Fluttershy had developed. She swooped out of the sky and landed on it.

“Fluttershy! What happened to you?” Rainbow Dash asked urgently.

“Well, I was trying to get you to... like me, and I know how much you love cider, and Pinkie suggested that I drink a lot of cider, and then you would like me,” Fluttershy explained, feeling more ridiculous with every word. When Dash didn’t respond, she continued with, “So do you?” There was no response.

Fluttershy was convinced that Dash had already flown away, and she was just imagining the feeling of Dash on top of her huge gut, when suddenly she heard a sound. Fluttershy figured out what it was after the sound repeated a few more times: a snore. Dash had fallen asleep.