Denial, Acceptance, and Everything in Between

===============Denial, Acceptance, and Everything in Between===============

Well, I’m gonna have John go through a lot of the same thoughts that I did, because honestly, the what-ifs messed me up, like if I hadn’t received her text, or if I hadn’t been able to do anything. But after a few days, I pushed that all out of my head, because…she’s alive, that’s all that matters to me. So instead, I’ve been using what’s been rattling around inside my head as fuel for my writing. Well, my favorite podcast, Hard With Style by Headhunterz helps too, but not quite as much. But hey, great news! She’s out of the hospital early, and doing good. I think the Prozac helps a little, but that’s beside the point. We’ve been having a VERY interesting conversation on Skype by the way XD. Oh, and she has been writing a story as well! It’s pretty cool, check it out here.

===============Chapter 10: Not Letting Go===============

Halfway back to the library, Scootaloo fell asleep in John’s arms. Occasionally as he walked he would look down at the curled up orange and purple ball in is embrace.  As he walked, he could see her sides gently rise and fall as she breathed, which comforted him some. Much to his disadvantage, his mind started to drift into the what-ifs of the situation. What if he hadn’t moved fast enough? What if that…thing in his vision hadn’t urged him to go check out the situation? What if he’d just ignored it? No, no…John forced those thoughts out of his head. She was alive. He had succeeded. If he hadn’t….he wouldn’t allow himself to think about that, because he had succeeded. It wasn’t doing him any good to be dwelling on something that COULD have happened, but didn’t.

John looked up. Since when had there been a library in front of his face? He must have been lost in thought again. How he managed to get back to the library, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t arguing. He opened the door and stepped inside. Twilight, who had been working, immediately dropped what she was doing and turned to look at him. There was also a very short purple and green creature next to her, holding some books. Upon closer inspection, John figured he must be some kind of dragon creature or something. The second he (John figured out it must be a he) saw John, he yelped in surprise and dropped the books he had been holding. Twilight turned to stare at him. “Spike! Relax, it’s just John. Now look at the mess you’ve made”

Spike looked down at the books he had dropped. “S…sorry, Twilight.” He stammered. “I’ll pick up the mess.” With that, he scrambled around picking up all the books he dropped and scampered away, most likely going to reshelve them.

Twilight turned back to John. “Sorry about that”

He smiled. “No, it’s..it’s alright. I’m just glad I went for that walk.” He said as he sat back down on the couch, next to a still sleeping Vinyl. She was curled up in that ball form that seemed to be a standard for ponies, but every now and then she would let out a small sigh in her sleep. John’s heart melted, which seemed to be happening more and more lately. As Twilight walked over to ask John how his walk went, she was suddenly aware of the orange and purple ball he was carrying. “John? Why are you carrying Scootaloo?”

John smiled. “Well, Twilight, that’s why I said I was glad I went for that walk.”

“What…what do you mean?” She asked, now very confused.

“Well, I…I don’t really think it’s my place to say too much, but… *sigh* she tried to kill herself. Tied down her wings and jumped off a rock ledge.”

“What?!” Twilight practically screamed, startling the hell out of John and yanking both Vinyl and Scootaloo out of their sleep. Upon waking up, Scootaloo started crying almost immediately, having been both scared by her dream and Twilight’s yelling.

“Shh. Shh. It’s okay, little one. No need to cry. You’re safe with me.” John whispered as he hugged the little orange and purple ball, stroking her back gently.

“John? What’s going on? Why are you holding a crying filly?” Vinyl asked, now aware of her surroundings.

John smiled gently and looked over at the confused white unicorn. “Well, Vinyl, put it this way. Remember that walk I took? Well, while I was on that walk, I just saved her life. I just…I somehow knew I was supposed to go on that walk. But whatever it was in my head that told me to go, was telling me to go alone as well. I have no idea why, but I’m glad I went all the same.”

“But…what happened that you ended up saving her life?”

Scootaloo pulled her head up and looked up at John with big, teary eyes, her expression asking for confirmation. John smiled and nodded gently, then wiped the tears from her eyes ever so carefully with the back of his index finger. She smiled faintly and nodded back, then turned her head to Twilight and Vinyl. “Basically…I was just tired of…of everypony making fun of me. I was tired of being called a ‘blank flank’ and ‘dodo’ by everyone I know. Even my friends started calling me a chicken. I know they were just kidding, but….that actually hurts me…a lot. And recently, a lot of other ponies have taken up calling me a chicken as well. I’ve tried talking to somepony…anypony about it, they….they just think I’m looking for attention. Nopony actually cares about me enough to actually listen.”

“What…what about your parents?” Vinyl asked.

“My parents…my parents are dead. My father…my father died trying to protect the town from that Chimera that attacked us several years ago. I was only a foal then. And my mother…she…I never actually met her, she…she died while giving birth to me.”

“Well…don’t you have any kind of step parents or something?”

“Well, I…I have a stepmom…well, she’s a foster mom technically, but she….she honestly doesn’t care. She adopted me simply for the tax write-off, that’s about it. Back when I used to live with her, I had to find my own food, and either sneak a shower when she wasn’t home or was asleep, or find another way, or just do without. But she kicked me out a while ago, saying that I wasn’t allowed back until I dropped Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle as friends. Right around that time, another human named Coal showed up. He…he told me he was going to adopt me. Even paid for a room for me in the Ponyville inn while he got working o a house. But…then there was that fight he had with some other pony, and I wasn’t allowed near him. And then…and then he left!” she dissolved into tears once more while saying the last part of that sentence. “He…he left!” she choked out between heavy sobs. “He left! He left! Why did he have to leave?! He…he didn’t even say goodbye! I didn’t get to say goodbye! Why did he leave?! Why?”

While she was letting all this pent-up emotion out, John couldn’t help but notice Twilight looking both extremely guilty and nervous at the same time.

“Oh, honey….” Vinyl said softly, getting to her hooves and walking over to John and Scootaloo. She reared up so she was standing on her rear hooves, and John bent down a little. She put her forelegs around Scootaloo and pulled her out of John’s embrace into one of her own. She just stood there, (on her rear hooves, by the way) holding Scootaloo, letting the orange and purple filly cry into her chest as well. John glanced over at Twilight, who seemed to be distancing herself as much as possible from the three of them. “Can you hold her for a second? I’ve got to check on something.” He mouthed silently to Vinyl, who was still standing there, holding the crying filly. How she did that was beyond John, but he’d have to ask another day. She nodded, and he mouthed a silent “thank you” and walked as quietly as he could over to Twilight. She seemed to get really nervous as he approached, and tried to shuffle away like she didn’t notice him, but he put a hand on her back and forced her to sit, sitting cross-legged next to her on the floor.

“Alright, Twilight. “ He said with a sigh. “What’s going on? I can tell something’s bothering you.”

She sighed and hung her head. “It’s just that…she…I…she was talking about Coal and how he left. But…she doesn’t know…I’m the one that sent him back. He came to see me late one night, demanding that I send him back to his world. And I…I did it! I sent him back! I could have said no. I could have made him think about it. I’m sure if he had time to think about it he’d have decided against it, but…I just sent him back. And I just…I feel so guilty, I mean…I’m the reason he’s gone. I’m the reason she lost him.”

John smiled and put a hand on her shoulder. “Twilight, it’s okay. He wanted to leave. It was his own decision, and that doesn’t make you a bad pony for respecting his wishes. And even if you had said no and made him stay here, I knew Colson. When he gets it in his head that he’s going to do something, nothing can stop him. He would have found a way. So don’t let yourself worry about it, it’s not your fault.”

She smiled a very weak, almost fake smile and perked up her ears a little. “Yeah…I guess you’re right. It’s going to take me a while to get over the guilt, but…thank you.”

John reached over and patted her head. “No problem, Twilight.”

“By the way, does she…know….about Coal?” Twilight asked him.

“Not yet, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep it that way for a while.” She nodded.

John got up off the floor and back onto his feet, Twilight doing the same. The two of them rejoined Vinyl and Scootaloo without another word. As john knelt down beside Vinyl, Scootaloo crawled out of Vinyl’s embrace and back into John’s. John’s heart melted once again as she curled up into a little ball in his arms. “Now Scootaloo…” John began, and she lifted her head to look at him. “I know you don’t really know much about me, but…if you like, I could adopt you as my daughter. A filly like you, deserves all the love you can get. I don’t know how good of a father figure I’d be, but I can personally promise you that I will not be going anywhere. Or, well, if I do, you’d be going with me. I don’t know what I’m going to do as far as a home either, but I won’t be just sending you off to the inn. You’d be living with me, wherever that may be. And even if you don’t think me adopting you is the best of ideas, I will personally see to it that you are never alone and uncared for again. No matter what, I will always be around to care for you. So what do you say?”

The little filly teared up once more, but this time, with happiness. “I think…I think I’d like that very much” she choked up, before jumping up and latching herself to John’s neck in a hug that had the power of a deathgrip. A second later, after recovering from the shock of basically growing an orange and purple beard in a split second, he returned the hug, eliciting a synchronized “awwww” from both Twilight and Vinyl. But John didn’t care. In one night, he had saved a filly’s life, and from that experience, he now had a daughter. He was probably the happiest man alive right now, so much so that tears of joy started streaming down his face as well, something that no one had ever seen. But he didn’t care. He had family now.

===================END CHAPTER 10===================

Well, I hope after reading this chapter, you’ll go read my friend/sister’s story, found here. Like I said, it’s a very unique story, and a very touching one as well. You’d be a fool NOT to read it! Also, I didn’t want to make Coal seem like too much of an ass for leaving, he was just hurting and not thinking properly. (yes, I’m still doing a crossover from Coal Buck’s story) In his right mind, he would have never left Scoots behind. But this is my story, and well….it’s John’s turn. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, it’s almost 2 in the morning and I have to wake up at 5 to go set up at a flea market, so I say goodnight all! And go read that story! Cthulhu commands you!