Denial, Acceptance, and Everything in Between

===============Denial, Acceptance, and Everything in Between===============

Welp, my shop partner and I won the Connecticut state championships for the Skills USA robotics and automation competition! Nationals at Kansas city in June! With that note, there is other news in the end note, but I suggest you read the chapter first.

===============Chapter 9: Practice Makes Perfect…Well, Not Always===============

“So where are we going, John?” Vinyl asked as she trotted beside John down the dirt road.

“I dunno, just around, I guess.” He replied. “I just feel like taking a little walk to think about some things, then I guess we can go back to your place or something and maybe see if I can get anything out of this new magic Celestia gave me. Sound fair?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I need to think about a few things as well.” She replied.

He nodded, and they set off walking. Where they were going, he wasn’t really paying attention to, he was already lost in thought. The first thought that crossed his mind was: Why did Celestia seem more fascinated by his gun than horrified about its existence in her world? Seriously, it had been used to kill a pony. Granted, not by him, per se, and that particular pony was trying to kill him, but…still. And then…why had she modified his weapon, and given him magically enhanced ammo? How the hell did she even do that? How was he even supposed to use it? Something just…didn’t sit right with John about this whole thing. Perhaps it was his soldier’s paranoia at it again, though, when he thought about it, that had never failed him before. And then…Celestia had said that his duty was now to protect Vinyl. Why was that even necessary? Hadn’t her problems ended with the death of Steel? What exactly did this mare DO for a living? And furthermore, why had the Princess healed just him, but ignored Red Wind? That red stallion had had a…hoof in the confrontation with Steel as well. Hell, he threw himself into the fight to try and help John and Vinyl, and had gotten injured! None of this made any sense to John, it seemed like the Princess was preparing him for something…but what?

These thoughts were promptly interrupted by John smacking face-first into the door of the Ponyville library. He staggered, but managed to not fall over. However, this did not go unnoticed by Vinyl, who giggled softly, and apparently by whomever was in the library as well, as he heard someone inside start walking towards the door. Before he could react, the door was opened, and a slightly confused Twilight stood in the doorway. “J…John? Aren’t you supposed to be in the hospital still? What happened?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure. One of the Princesses stopped by and did some….things to me. One of them was a healing, at least…I think it was. I’m not exactly versed in magic, but I’m pretty sure a healing isn’t supposed to hurt that much.”

“The Princess was here!?” Twilight burst out, startling John. Normally, this would be very hard to do, but he wasn’t really himself right now. “What did she say? What did she do?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure,” John answered “She healed me, and then started talking about how much she admired my gun, and how she had made special ammo for it and some upgrades to it, and then something about some form of telekinetic power.”

“Wait, what?!” She exclaimed in shock. John smiled “Exactly my reaction.” He said with a chuckle.

“Well don’t be a stranger, come in, come in, make yourselves at home!” She said, flinging the door open wide and gesturing for them to come in. “I’ll go make some tea while you two get settled”

John and Vinyl stepped into the library, and he took a seat on the nearest couch. Vinyl jumped up onto the couch, and laid her front half across his lap, curling up a little bit. John reached over and started stroking the back of her head lightly, and she let out a little sigh, and closed her eyes, curling up even more so she was basically a small white and blue blob on his lap. He smiled, and stroked her back lightly with his other hand. This brought a huge smile to her face, and she started making a sound that actually sounded a lot like a cat purring, bringing up something he didn’t experience very often: that all too famous warm-and-fuzzy-inside feeling.

He was startled by a semi-distant “Awwww!” coming from the other side of the room.  He glanced over, and noticed Twilight standing in the doorway, floating a tray with tea and teacups on it just above her. The look on her face, was something between happy and excited, made John smile. “So I see the two of you have gotten fairly close”

John chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Now what’s on your mind, Twilight? I can tell something’s bothering you.”

The lavender mare sighed and set the tray down on the coffee table before sitting on the floor in front of John. “Well, I…I don’t know. I mean, yes, you’re right, but…I just can’t place exactly what. Princess Celestia never does anything without reason. And all that she’s done for you, it seems like…like she expects something bad to happen and she’s preparing you for it. But what, exactly, I can’t begin to fathom.”

John had to agree, she was right. But he had survived being blown up once, how hard could this ‘bad thing’ possibly be?

“Don’t let it bother you too much, Twilight. I’m sure Celestia’s just making sure Vinyl and I are extra safe. From what, I’m not sure. But besides, I’m sure I can probably handle this ‘really bad thing’ without too much trouble.”

“Eh, I dunno John, I’m not sure you know just how powerful that ammo Celestia gave you really is. It’s made from enchanted starmetal, something that is very rare and expensive in Equestria. However, Princess Luna is able to craft it, but it’s not easy for her. Especially since the zebra folk are incredibly wary of anything involving the stars, because of their legend of The Eater Of Souls. But so far, the Princesses have been able to keep them fairly calm about it.”

“The zebras? I’ve only heard of one, though I haven’t met her, but there are more of them?”

“Well, it’s rather complicated, we trade them gems and things they need for coal that is buried in their lands. They live away from us ponies, and because of that, a lot of ponies are prejudiced against them. I’ll explain much more later, for now, let’s see about what else Princess Celestia gave you.”

She stood up and walked over to where John was sitting, and reared up. Using the side of the couch for support, she touched her horn to John’s forehead. She scrunched her face and concentrated, her horn beginning to glow with a lavender hue. John felt a slight tingle and a tiny amount of heat at the base of his skull. A second later, she was done, and she dropped down to the floor again, a puzzled expression upon her face.

“Well, what did you see?” John asked.

She shook her head “Well I…I’m not sure. I mean, I see what you were talking about when you said she gave you telekinesis, but…there’s something else in there as well. And I can’t tell what.”

“Wait, you mean there’s more stuff inside my head?!” John practically yelled. What he didn’t realize was that Vinyl had been snoozing on his lap, and was woken up by his outburst. She decided to keep quiet though, and act like she was still sleeping.

“Yes, while I can’t exactly identify the other two spells, one appears to be some kind of time-controlling targeting spell, and the other is a detection spell. How they are used, I have no idea, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to keep copies of them.”

“Copies of them? How?”

“Well, It’s quite a simple process, really. Since I’ve done some research into the human world, I suppose you could say it’s like copying data from a computer. Does that analogy work?”

John had to admit, it worked fairly well. So he allowed her to take copies, which felt like she was pulling a wet noodle out through his forehead. When she was done, Twilight sat back down on the floor and remained there for several minutes before getting to her hooves again. “Well, while I look into these spells, let’s see if we can’t at least get that telekinesis spell of yours working.”

“Alright, hang on, I should probably get up then, my leg’s falling asleep.” John said, making Twilight giggle. “Vinyl?” he gently said in Vinyl’s ear “C’mon Vinyl, it’s time to get up.” He said while shaking her gently. It seemed she had fallen back asleep, as John was aware she had woken before. She groaned and rolled over, practically falling off him. If he hadn’t caught her, she’d have hit the floor. “Alright! I’m up! I’m up!” she practically screamed. Perhaps waking up hanging upside down had that effect on a pony, John supposed. John and Twilight shared a good laugh while Vinyl jumped out of John’s grip and to her hooves, blushing furiously.

John stood, and followed Twilight over to where she was standing, next to a large desk with a feather quill sitting right in the middle of it. She gestured to the quill once he was close enough to the desk. “Now, here’s the first thing for you to try. Try lifting this quill up in the air.” He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, held his hand out palm up, and concentrated. And concentrated. And concentrated. But nothing happened. Not even the slightest flutter from the feather. Disappointed, John lowered his hand.

“Don’t be discouraged, John.” Vinyl stepped up and said. “No one gets it the first try. Try envisioning….almost like you’re creating a bubble around the feather.” Glancing down at her warm smile, John raised nodded and his hand back up, closing his eyes, and concentrating once more. This time, the feather fluttered slightly, but did not move at all. He concentrated until he felt like his head would burst, then gave up. He opened his eyes to see another disappointment: the feather had not moved at all. Not even the slightest bit. He sighed and lowered his hand, looking rather dejected.

Vinyl stepped closer to him and reared up, nudging his side with her nose. “It’s okay.” She reassured. “You’ll get the hang of it, I’m sure.”

John glanced outside. It was transitioning onto night very quickly, it was already pretty dark out. “I think…I think I’d like to go for another walk to clear my head. Vinyl, why don’t you stay here with Twilight for a little while? I’ll be back soon enough”

Vinyl stared back at him, a look of disappointment on her face. “You mean…you don’t want me to go with you?”

John felt those sad crimson eyes boring into him better than any drill. “Don’t worry, it’s just this one time. There’s a lot I need to think about, and I just…please understand, it’s not that I don’t want you to go with me, I just…need to think, that’s all.”

She nodded and smiled faintly, but looked away right afterwards. “Hey,” John said, scooping the white pony into a hug that raised her far off the ground “Hey, I’ll be back. I’d never leave you behind. I’ll only be gone a little while, ok?” She nodded, and her smile strengthened a bit. John knew he’d still have some making up to do later for this, however, and as much as it hurt him to upset her, there was something inside his head, just….egging him on, to go out walking, and to go out alone. He had no choice but to listen, this…whatever it was, was very persistent. It wasn’t that famous sixth-sense that soldiers have, it was…different.

With that, he set Vinyl down, patted her on the head with a smile, said his temporary goodbye to Twilight, and walked out the door.

Before he left the library, John had made sure his gun was strapped to his hip once more, if only for the feel of it. For soldiers like him, it was a comfort thing. Nothing more comforting than walking into an area that could turn dangerous at any second, with a little bit of oomph in a side holster within easy reach. Of course, with his gun, it was more than a LITTLE oomph, as it had had some modifications done to it by the Princess, although he was still unsure as to exactly what she had done. Also was the ammo, since she had used all of his ammo in her amazement of the weapon. He had decided to fill two mags with the specialty ammo she had given him almost a metric ton of. If he ever had to use it, then he would find out just how powerful it really was. But John didn’t think he’d really need to use it, the most threatening thing he’d come across had been taken out by Vinyl, so he wasn’t too worried.

John stopped for a second to get his bearings. He was on a dirt path, in the middle of a forest, and, looking behind him, he couldn’t see anything of the town anymore. Had he really been that absorbed in his thoughts? He didn’t have time to answer that question, because he was more distracted by a new development. Something was forming around his head, almost like a gridded globe. He reached up to touch it, but his hand went right through it. Bit by bit, the terrain around him began to be mapped out by whatever this was. Seconds after that was done, little blue bars began appearing all over the place. Some were in trees, some slowly moved directly over his position, which was marked by a red dot. John noticed that as he moved his head around, the bars and terrain in his vision moved as well, keeping even with the actual terrain, while other things that he hadn’t been looking in the same direction as before started appearing in his field of vision. So this must be the detection spell Twilight was talking about, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, a yellow bar and an arrow appeared in the very top edge of his vision. He noticed that as he turned his head, the arrow turned as well, pointing constantly towards whatever this yellow bar was representing. Suddenly, the yellow bar began flashing, and the arrow grew larger and flashed as well, almost urging him to seek out whatever this yellow bar represented.

He took off in a run in the direction the arrow was pointing; a small numeric display appeared next to the arrow, counting down the remaining distance as he approached. It almost seemed like this was a heads-up-display from some kind of computer or video game or something.

John stopped just about 20 or so feet away from the yellow bar, ready to draw his weapon, but stopped himself when he saw what the bar was representing.

Up ahead was a rock ledge, about 100 feet or so above the ground, and below was relatively flat rock, though there were some rather sharp looking bits. Sitting up on the ledge was a very sad looking orange Pegasus filly, with a purple mane and tail. She didn’t appear to have her cutie mark yet either, which made John question just how old she was. But the thing that really struck him was the fact that it appeared she had tied down her wings with rope. John just stood there and stared for a while, unsure as to what he should do. She just sat there, staring at her hooves.

After a few moments, she sighed and stood up, walking away from the edge of the rock ledge. John was glad, she wasn’t going to jump like he guessed she was thinking about doing-next thing he knew, she took a running jump off the ledge, diving headfirst toward the ground. John was already in motion before his brain registered movement, scattering any and all of the thoughts that had been in his mind before.

As he sprinted towards the spot on the rocks that the orange filly was headed for at terminal velocity, one thought kept crossing his mind: he wasn’t going to make it in time. This thought only spurred him on further and faster, until he was moving faster than he’d ever moved before. Keep in mind, this all was only happening in a timeframe of a few seconds, but in a situation like this, mere seconds can seem like hours.

He stretched out his arms just as he rendezvoused with the point the filly was heading for-yes that whatever it was in his head even marked that point with a red dot-he jumped up, clearing a couple feet, and caught the very surprised filly like a hurtling football. As he landed, he hugged her to his chest as he tucked and rolled a few times, keeping his arms braced around her like a cage of sorts, making sure she was safe.

He finally came to a stop in a sitting position, the orange and purple filly still hugged tightly to his chest. He managed to take the brunt of the injuries, although it was only a few scrapes and bruises. The orange filly, however, was perfectly fine, physically at least.

She squirmed out of his grip, and jumped down to the ground. “Why did you stop me?!” she demanded.

“What were you trying to accomplish up there?!” He demanded back with almost equal volume.

“Isn’t it obvious?! I was going to kill myself! I’m tired of living the way I do. Tired of it all. I just want it to end.”

“What do you mean? Living what way?” he asked, this time a lot gentler.

“You…you wouldn’t understand.” She muttered, now staring intently at the ground.

“Hey” he said, while grabbing her chin and turning her head back up to look into her eyes. “Try me”

She looked away once again. “Well, I…it’s just that…I’m the only one in my class to not have gotten my cutie mark yet. Even my two best friends got theirs before me. And also…I can’t fly. I mean really! I’m a Pegasus and I can’t even fly! What kind of Pegasus can’t fly?! And I mean…my friends support me, but everypony else just makes fun of me about it, calling me a ‘blank flank’, and ‘dodo’ and I’ve even gotten beaten up a few times for being different. My parents…my parents are dead, my stepmom kicked me out of the house quite a while ago. There was another human here a little while ago, his name was Coal. He…he was going to adopt me as his daughter. But then he got in a fight with another pony, and the keeper of the inn he had me staying at wouldn’t let me near him. Right after that, he left this world, and I haven’t seen him since. The innkeeper was forced out of business by a competitor, who forced her into retirement. She was forced to move to another town, and she couldn’t take me with her, much as she wanted to. The new owners of the inn want nothing to do with me, seeing as I have no money. I can’t go back to living with my stepmom, she still won’t let me in the house, she says that pretty much anything bad that happens is my fault.”

“That’s…I don’t know what to say, but…why haven’t you told anyone about any of this? There are plenty of nice ponies in the town, I’m sure someone would be happy to listen.”

She shook her head. “Everyone I’ve told has just passed me off as one of those ‘emo’ foals that seem to be pretty popular right now. They all think I’m just trying to get attention. No one actually cares. And I’d just had enough. I’d had enough of living on the streets, living off of whatever food scraps I could find in the garbage, and having to either sleep in a treehouse or the schoolhouse when it gets too cold. So I just decided to end it all. I figure no one would care if I did. Pfft, I don’t think anyone would even miss me. I’m just that strange homeless filly, no one cares about me.”

“I do.” John said, scooping the orange filly into a giant hug. “I care.”

“Y…you do?” she asked, her voice quavering.

“Yes” he said, while stroking the back of her head, as she started to cry into his chest. “Of course I care.”

For over an hour he just sat there, letting this filly cry into his chest as he gently stroked the back of her head and mane in an effort to calm her. Gradually, her deep sobs got shallower and shallower, until they degraded into hiccups and a lot of sniffling. She squirmed slightly in his grip, and pulled her head back to look at him with tear-filled eyes. “Th..thank you” she choked out. “No one’s ever cared enough about me before to even listen to what’s the matter.”

John smiled “Of course” he slowly stood, changing his grip on the orange filly from a giant hug, to the way one would hold a small child. “Now why don’t we start off by getting that rope off you, and getting you cleaned up. I have somepony I think you’d like to meet.”

“I…I can’t thank you enough. You’ve done so much for me already, and I don’t even know your name.” she said between sniffles.

John smiled. “I’m John. John Connor. What’s your name, little one?”

“I’m…I’m Scootaloo.” She replied.

“Well, Scootaloo,” John said while he untied the rope from around her wings, “I have a feeling you’re going to be very glad you met me.” He said, as they set off back towards the town.

========================END CHAPTER 9========================

Well, I was pretty much done with this chapter a few days ago, but I decided to add that last part due to….recent developments. Remember I said in the beginning note about winning the skills competition? Well, halfway through the awards ceremony, I got a text from one of my best friends, Skylar, who is like a sister to me. Hell, she’s even taken up calling me her brother. And you know what? Since around December when I met her, I’ve been a pretty good brother, if you ask me. But anyways, back to the text. Basically, she was about to kill herself, and the text she sent me was a goodbye text. Needless to say, I freaked the fuck out. But her boyfriend (one of my friends I’ve known for a while) and I were able to stop her a couple of ways. For me, local police, since I was nowhere near where she was, and him, cause he was in the vehicle with her. But together, he and I did something that no one else has ever had the balls to do for her: we cared. We cared about her, and not anything else. So Skylar, when you read this note, cause I know you will eventually, just know that your big brother cares.  And yes, the end part of the chapter is dedicated to her. But as far as what has happened to her in her life….yeah, no, I made up a bunch of stuff for Scoots, the real situation is a lot worse, but it’s not really my place to say exactly what. But you know what? That whole thing made me realize that I can have just as large an impact on other people's lives as they can have on mine. But I'm also not going to dwell on this, because, she's alive, and that's all that matters to me.