I Don't Know Who You Think I Am

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom sat in the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse, looking at each mournfully. It had been almost four months since Scootaloo disappeared and nopony seemed to know where she was, or what happened to her. One day, while trying to find their cutie marks, she simply vanished without a trace. The pony who seemed the most broken up about the Pegasus filly's loss wasn't her friends, but in fact her own hero Rainbow Dash. She'd gone looking for Scootaloo quite some time ago, but then also went missing. When she did return, however, she wasn't the same. Rainbow wasn't her usual adventurous, athletic, high-spirited self anymore, but spent most of her time at home, not talking to anypony and simply staring up at the clouds. She'd always brush off anypony who tried to ask her anything about it, but it also seemed that, following Scootaloo's absence, there had been quite a few more storms than there normally were with black lightning of all things.

"What do we do now, Apple Bloom," Sweetie Belle asked. "How can we be the Cutie Mark Crusaders without Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom shrugged, looking on the verge of tears. The clouds started rolling in again, thunder far off in the distance.

"Maybe we should head inside, Sweetie Belle," she said. "There's another storm comin' in." Sweetie Belle frowned; it just didn't seem right to give up, but there wasn't a whole else that they could do. Celestia only knew where Scootaloo was or if she'd ever come back. Or worse, if she'd even be the same when she did.

Twilight watched the black lightning outside, laying in a heap of books on the floor. The unicorn had checked through every single book in the library multiple times, and even gone through everything in the Canterlot library just as much with less luck finding out why the storms were happening or how to stop them them when she started. Even Zecora didn't have much information. All that she knew was that they'd started around the same time Scootaloo disappeared. She finally just returned all the books to their shelves and retired to bed, hoping in vain that something would come to her in her dreams. The very next day, however, much to everypony's surprise, something very astounding happened. A bright orange Pegasus fully flew just over the horizon, her mauve mane and tail were much longer now and even had a sparkling shown to them. Most surprising of all was the large broadsword and kite shield on the pegasus's flank. That, however, wasn't nearly as strange as the mark on the right side of her neck or the gem necklace. Fittingly enough, Rainbow Dash was the first one to greet the long lost Pegasus pony who'd looked up to her for years. Rainbow Dash flew faster than ever, embracing Scootaloo as the two lowered to the ground. Rainbow neither noticed not questioned the filly's new appearence, but was too overcome by joy at her return.

"Scootaloo, you're home," Rainbow said, tears in her eyes. "I can't believe that your finally home!" the filly hugged her back, equally happy to see the rainbow-maned pony again.

"Guess what, Rainbow Dash? Not only can I fly now, but I got my cutie mark too!"

"That's so awesome, kid."

"Rainbow Dash, as much fun as it is seeing you again after all this time, do you think that I could see my friends too?" Rainbow Dash, forcing every fiber of her body in order to will it, released her grip on the filly, flying around with her. Her friends were just as happy for Scootaloo, though seeming lukewarm at best compared to Rainbow Dash's welcome.

"Scootaloo, we missed you so much," Sweetie Belle said.

"Where were you this whole time," Apple Bloom asked.

"And where'd you get that necklace?" Scootaloo looked down at the necklace.

"Oh this! Well, it was a sword; it's really complicated. Look, maybe I should start from the very beginning. It was about, what was if here, four maybe five months, right?"

"You might you don't know," Sweetie Belle asked.

"It's been kind of a while and I'm getting to that. Anyway, I don't know how I got there, but I was take recruited by Mr. Sanchez, and he trained me to fight. I rose up through the ranks, became the leader of a mercenary group, and was even adopted, hence the mark. The necklace is actually quite an interesting story behind it. Let me just show you." she transformed into a large dragon, reverting a nearby tree into a newborn sprout, and reverting it back and returning to her normal body. "It's pretty exhausting, so just bear with me. It's called the Sword of Wishes, I don't know all the details but it has the power to grant the user's greatest wish, hence immense magical  power. My cutie mark and flying just sorta happened in the intervening time. It's bit more complicated than that but I just felt that hitting the most important stuff was easier."

Standing just on the tip of the very highest point of Canterlot castle, an olive alicorn with dark brown hair, his long wings outstretched and his large long pointed horn glowing with bright white energy. He looked out at the clearing black lightning clouds slowly dispersing. Prince Blueblood looked up at the figure.

"Who are you? I demand that you remove yourself from my castle forthwith." the alicorn didn't move, he simply glanced at the pompous but ultimately insignificant specimen on the balcony below.

"There's no earthly way of knowing, which direction we are going," he responded, not facing Blueblood. "There's no knowing where they're rowing, or which way the river's flowing." The prince looked back at him with confusion.

"Excuse me?" the alicorn ignored him and continued, now facing him with his dark green eyes turned to the unicorn in distaste.

"Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing?!" he leapt down from the tower and landed in front of the prince, his expression degrading further and further to scorn then anger, the prince backed to the railing. "Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing! Is the ghastly reaper mowing?!? YES!!" he hoisted Blueblood up over the railing dangling him over the drop. "Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?! The danger must be growing BECAUSE THE GODDAMN ROWERS KEPT ON ROWING!! AND THEY CERTAINLY ARE NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY...ARE...SLOWING!!!!" With all his might and the force of a gale wind, he threw the Prince off the tower and landed with blunt and brutal trauma dead center in the square. A dusty brown earth pony in a dark green wool cap looked at the now unmoving corpse of Blueblood, turning his gaze to the olive alicorn.

"Overkill much, dad," Charlie asked. He nodded, clearing his throat and turning to him.

"I think I might've gone too overboard with that, Charlie. Have you seen Lacey Alexis?"

"She's still around the castle with Katie,"Charlie explained. "I sorta came in when you were shouting at him and he kissed the pavement at Mach 1. Is Skylar back yet?"

"She said she had some things she had to deal with 'back home.'" he looked at his hooves in frustration. "It's so hard to air quote without fingers. Charlie, go see how Uncle Thom, Grandpa, and Uncle Xekkyl are doing underground." Charlie gave a half-hearted look at his father.

"Dad, I'm 13. Besides, anyone above the age of 6 can tell that you and Xekkyl are basically the same person but with a can of black spray paint and a closet ripped out of Hot Topic. C'mon, dad, I was poor, but that doesn't mean I wasn't stupid enough to read or use the library computers. Explain to me exactly why we're horses?"

"Ponies, actually; horses are a bit bigger. I suppose that it's simply the universe's interpretation of us as beings not of this universe, thus we take on the likeness of the most common species. It's complex, but you'll get used to it if you've gone through it as many times as I have." he transformed into a tall well-built man roughly in his early thirties with short dark hair. He clenched and unclenched his fists reflexively, before finally sighing.

"I'm glad that our powers are in tact, and that I have hands, but I miss having a tail now; kinda a weird phantom limb thing now. The wings too, I can't tell you how long I've wanted wings. The horn..." he stopped in mid-sentence. "Well, you're 13; I'm sure you know where that's going. Go find Katie, I have drinking to do."

Twilight had noticed that the black lightning storms had finally cleared up, Rainbow Dash having come out of her could home must've meant that Scootaloo was back even though she still didn't fully understand why they'd started when she left. Spike suddenly got her attention, coughing up a new scroll. However, his one didn't have the princess's formal seal. Instead, it was a scriptural S on the wax seal. She opened it and held it in front of her.

"To whom it may concern, I have taken siege to your palace and am now assimilating your world as I write. You will be glad to know that this world shall be under a new, more deserving regime than its former, weaker 'goddess' Best wishes to you and all others, His Royal Majesty King Zander T. Sanchez the First, Creator and Ruler of the Dream Realm. Dictated but not read." Twilight ripped the letter in half, Spike scanning the two halves at his feet.

"Twilight, what are you going to do," he asked skeptically.

"I'm going to stop this Zander Sanchez before he destroys Equestria and does who-even-knows to the Princesses. You stay here, it might be too dangerous." she left to find her friends, knowing that they could think up a plan to stop this.

Scootaloo explained to them all the fantastic adventures she went on, all her battles, and all the friends and does alike she'd encountered, delighted that they enjoyed her stories.

"Guys," she finally said. "I know that this is gonna sound really stupid, but how would you like to come with me?"

"What," they said in shock.

"But ya just got back," Apple Bloom protested.

"Don't you like it here in Ponyville with us," Sweetie Belle added.

"I've always wanted something more out of this. Now, with Zander, the sky doesn't even have to be the limit anymore. For any of us! Think about it, girls, I'd have never gotten my cutie mark if I didn't wind up in the Omniverse. We can became faster, stronger, succeed in something much greater than any of us--mostly you two--can possibly imagine. I promise you absolutely nothing will happen to you; Pinkie Pie promise." she did the gestures that went along with the bizarre ritual. "Zander says that the word of a Sanchez is the most unbreakable bound there is. What do you say?" the two shuffled away, huddling and whispering to each other before trotting back.

"Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said, the Pegasus nodding in anticipation. "We accept." they high-hooved in celebration of their agreement.

"Cutie Mark Crusader Best Friends Forever!" Sweetie Belle was the first to say anything, the three sitting around for several minutes.

"Well, now what?" Scootaloo tapped a hoof on her chin several times in deep, contemplative thought before an epiphany struck.

"Wait here. I'll be right back in a second." she extended her wings, which were now much larger and flew off. She made it just outside of town before she finally realized that she hadn't actually followed her family and instead immediately went back to her friends. "This could take forever." she looked down at the crystal necklace, glowing with magical energy. "Oh, duh. I don't  need to know where they are." she teleported away, appearing just outside the ballroom of Canterlot Castle. Compared to Sanchez Palace, it was noticeably smaller but no less breathtaking, but then Diana had described the Golden Palace of Seltoria to be quite magnificent.  She looked in, noticing a light pink, red maned freckled earth pony with large green eyes looking begrudgingly at an overhead flying purple alicorn with a long black mane.

"Check it out, Katie," she said. "I can fly! With wings and everything."

"You could do that anyway," she protested.

"And I can use magic."

"Lacey Alexis, you could already use magic. Besides I thought you hated using magic, and just focused on weapons and fighting." Lacey Alexis rolled her eyes, hovering in front of her little sister.

"You're just jealous because I have wings, and a horn, and you have neither." Katie blushed angrily, beginning to glow. "Ooh, I'm shaking. Don't try to possess me again; you might fly into a wall like every other time." Katie's body turned ethereal and entered Lacey Alexis's body, before suddenly regaining solidity and soaring into a wall. Before she could hit the ground, Lacey Alexis caught her with her magic and gently set her back down. "C'mon, your my little sister and one of my best friends."

"Aww, Lacey," Katie said.

"Besides, do you know how long Dad would ground me for if you got hurt? I mean, I got stuff planned this whole month." Katie's expression immediately deadpanned.

"Oh, you really know just what to say, sis."

"and so will you when you're my age," Lacey Alexis said condescendingly, patting Katie on the head. "Sky, you can come in. I can sense your aura from here, kid." Scootaloo entered. "Y'know, you're a great assassin, but you're not fooling your own big sister. What's up?"

"I kinda wanted to ask dad something. Where is he?"

"He said something about 'breaking in his new horn' and I think I know what that means," she said, crossing her arms. "Though, given the sparing amount of boys, I imagine Collin would need to be on a leash. Just check the master bedroom."

"Thanks. Before I go, you wouldn't mind a couple friends staying with me for a while, right?" Lacey Alexis waved her hoof nonchalantly.

"Kid, if there your friends, they've got to cool." Scootaloo smiled warmly.

A trio of very tall alicorns stood in the center of a tunnel, burrowing deeper and deeper until finally hitting a glowing mass of energy.

"Whoa," the dark one said. His horn was cracked and his black mane was slicked back, and his long wings were pointed at the tips and jagged. His thin lips curled back into a sharp-toothed grin. He reverted to a tall and muscularly-built man with shredding dark eyes in a suit of black armor and heavy dark iron gloves. The armor and gloves coursed with dark energy, his smile only growing wider. The other two stopped digging. "You just never get tired of seeing the very core of a universe. It's almost transcendent, humbling if you will; it would be if I could even feel humility." the oldest of the three transformed back into a similar man with long grey hair and soft dark green eyes, showing the years of hard work and suffering but beauty throughout his years.

"So, this is a universe's core," he asked.

"That's right, pops," the third alicorn said.

"I'm kinda new at this whole thing, Thom. Divine power, eternal life, dimensional travel, indestructibility, insurmountable wealth, let's you see you die for four millennia and just jump right back into life." the man growled.

"General, Thomas, if you're done with your Gilmore Girls bullshit, let's just divide up this world between Allies. I have a schedule to keep, souls to sell, deals to make."

"Christy has it covered, Xekkyl," Thom said. "Why don't you go back up and take a break; smoke, drink, take a woman, eat someone, whatever the hell you do to unwind. Zander said that he would give us a signal." Zander walked down the tunnel, twirling a long silver cane with a small white ball of light on the end wearing a tall white top hat with a black brim and a black rose in the brim.

"Ladies. Zander is a bit...occupied, so therefore he sent a clone to carry out a message to you."

"Then, what's with the hat and cane," Xekkyl asked.

"This was simply for me. Now then, he told me to notify you gentlemen that we may begin universal absorption within exactly one week, this universe's time. Don't want to arose suspicion, do we?"

"What the fuck are you talking about," Xekkyl demanded. "Anything they could throw at us, anything any universe can throw at us, has never been any more harmful than a fly. Why should we care if the insignificant little afterbirths arise suspicion?!?"

"It's about secrecy, Xekkyl. You were Zander Sanchez at some point, just because you have a different name and an L on your neck." Xekkyl's fists clenched, the energy surging around  his gauntlets before finally his fists unclenched.

"One week, this universe. So much as a second later, I will assimilate the core myself and  I will take this universe for the Nightmare Realm." the clone nodded.

"I shall relay your demand to Zander, said that he was going to be gone on an...errand of sorts. He didn't disclose information, and requested that I don't speak of it as it was erased from my mind. I may be a clone created mere moments ago, but I do have all of Zander's thoughts, memories, and feelings; perfectly undetected, and identical to the real thing."

"That's amazing. I can do the same thing, right," Timothy asked. Thom nodded. "Alright, later Zander's clone." the clone evaporated, and the other three teleported away.

Twilight continued to go through everything in vain to find some scrap of information, but found nothing about anything, her friends had given up by now but she decided to continue searching. An olive alicorn teleported in, shapeshifting into his humanoid form. He looked over her shoulder, scanning over the book and looking over the stacks.

"So, what exactly are you trying to find," he asked. Twilight didn't turn to face whoever was behind her, too deep into her search to ask any questions.

"I'm looking for any information regarding Zander Sanchez." he smirked.

"Well, c'mon, it can't be that hard. I'm the biggest celebrity ever known, ruler and creator of the most powerful universe in All Known Existence, I'm a Sanchez, and what am I forgetting? Oh yes, that teeny tiny little fact that I'm king of the gods. Or, y'know, you could try my Facebook page. Google, Twitter, YouTube, Tumblr, Reddit, whatever that last one is; I'm all over the place." the unicorn was beginning to question him, and what he was actually saying, a lot of it sounding very curious.

"What do you mean," she asked, turning only to see nopony there. "Get ahold of yourself, Twilight. You're just a little paranoid."

"Or you could look right in front of you." she turned back around to see Zander, standing right in front of her. He bowed low to the ground, placing his hands in his pockets. Twilight's eyes widened in amazement at the sight of the strange man before her. Zander merely gave a modest smile at seeing Twilight's reaction; being a reality-bending immortal Ancient God, a unicorn wasn't the most fantastic and mind-blowing he'd seen that day. "It's nice to meet you too, Twilight Sparkle."