Xenophilia: The Cynical Human

“One person's craziness is another person's reality.” - Tim Burton

The stranger's eyes shot open as he gasped himself awake on the ground staring up the the clear blue sky. He coughed and blew out the dirt that he inhaled from the sudden air intake. He grunted as his head throbbed, which sent dull pain up and down his spine. Attempting to move only proved to him that his muscles were too weak at the moment to possibly stand up. The stranger relaxed and focused on what he felt brushing against his skin. With some effort, he turned his head to the side and looked around.

Trees. Grass. Vibrant colors and blinding bright sunlight. An unfamiliar forest...

''Ugh... Jesus fucking Christ... What happened... My head...'' He muttered to himself turning his head back to the peaceful sky hanging above him.

The stranger was confused. And it felt like there was a very packed nightclub in his head playing extremely loud dubstep music. He felt like he was waking up from a deep dream. The memory of everything that happened prior to his awakening just... Gone... He rubbed his head with his right hand. There was a big gash on the right side of his head covered with dried blood. Shuddering, he quickly moved his hand away from it and quickly sat up. He then examined the rest of himself. Two hands. Normal. Though his right one had a light brown piece of cloth wrapped around it and their were obvious blood stains in it. Two arms. Normal. Two legs and two feet. Normal. He was just himself... Human. A clueless, injured human with a throbbing headache.

''Ugh... Where am I?'' The stranger thought rising to his feet and looking around the forest. It was any other forest. Trees, grass, flowers you name it.

''Perhaps you have just wandered far from camp.'' A voice in his head said to him in an odd way of speech.

''Heh... Perhaps...'' He said back to the voice as he began to stumble through the forest in black hiking boots. Perfect for the terrain. His vision was slightly blurred as his headache was worsening. Still walking at a steady pace he checked the digital sports watch on his left arm, it read 8:42 AM.

''Heh...'' The stranger mumbled staring at his watch and still walking. ''What happened... Whoa!'' He quickly cried out tripping over a rock and falling into a small, cold, clear stream.

''Water... Just... Water...'' He thought quickly rising out of the water and crawling back on land. Letting out a sigh and kneeling near the edge of the ground at the stream of cold fresh water, he gazed at his reflection in the water. The stranger was between 25 and 30 years of age, short messy raven black hair, serious green eyes, a small scar over his right eye. And plastered on his face was a blank, emotionless stare.

''Heh. Well aren't you a handsome devil?'' The stranger said jokingly at his own reflection before standing back up with a feeling of disgust rising in his gut. Standing up straight, he appeared to be about 6 foot 1, stocky, and well fit. He let out a sigh and continued walking in a random direction. To his mind, it was north.

''Ugh... Get back to camp... Pack up... Go home...'' He thought to himself walking down a nearby trail in a zombie like motion. After walking for what seemed like hours he came to a fork in the trail. . A sign stood in front of him one, pointing left, and the other pointing right, the left said "Everfree Forest", right said "Ponyville". He took the right path and headed towards Ponyville. "What an odd name...'' He muttered ''Then again...Yonkers, New York. Odd name as well... Well. Maybe the people there will tell me where I am.''

After a minute of walking or so, The stranger heard the sound of rustling and a few branches break. He turned his head over to the direction of the noise. A bush rustled on the side of the trail, then again, then again. A chickens head popped out. Confused, the stranger slowly backed away from the chicken. The chicken moved out of the bush with dead red eyes. What he saw next made a chill move down his spine. The chicken had the body of a snake and wings of a bat.

''What the fuck?'' He said aloud as he got a clear view of the creature before his vision blurred for a few seconds. Rubbing his eyes he looked at it again.

The creature just stared at him as if expecting the strange to run off.

''Run.'' The voice in his head told him. Trusting his gut and his instincts, he immediately looked away from the creature and sprinted off down the trail towards this ''Ponyville.''

''Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! My mind is playing games on me.'' He thought frantically while running as fast as he could at warp 10 before tripping over yet another rock and falling face first onto the ground.

''God damn it!'' He shouted out loud quickly getting to his feet then falling on his rear to sit down.

''Ugh... This is a bad time to be fucked up...'' The stranger muttered out loud and began to rifle through the pockets of his hoodie and his cargo pants. A few seconds later he pulled out a plastic bag that contained a silver slightly dirty zippo lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

''Just need to calm down...'' He thought taking both the pack and the zippo lighter out of the bag and setting them on his lap. He then removed a single cigarette from the pack with his right hand. With his left he flicked opened the zippo lighter and lit his cigarette. He let out a sigh, rose to his feet, and took a puff of his calming cigarette. He couldn't help to think that something was watching him...

''Just my paranoia acting up... Ugh... I hate myself...'' He thought looking around at the surrounding trees.

Above him, above the tree line, a gray pegasus with a blonde mane, was utterly confused with the address on the package she received. Her eyes caught the movements of the lone human wandering down the trail, and swooped down for directions. The stranger heard the sounds of branches breaking, and turned his head towards the noise. Nothing was there. He resumed his walk, with the cigarette dangling from his mouth, the next thing he saw almost gave him a heart attack.

The same grey pegasus was hovering in front of him. "Hiya Lero!" the grey pegasus said with a large grin. ''Oh wait. You're not Lero...'' She said staring at him with oddly angled eyes.

''Gah!'' the stranger shouted. This alarmed the stranger, causing him spit out his cigarette and fall down on his rear. Again...

"Woah, sorry for scaring you Mister!" She said a little bit loudly again with a small giggle. ''I thought Lero was the only human around here!''

The stranger just sat there, staring wide eyed at the pegasus with a lot of confusion in his serious green eyes, unable to tell if this was reality, a dream, or if he was tripping on some sort of illegal drug. He noticed her. Um, she was a she, right? Sounded like it. Whatever. Her eyes didn't seem to be looking at him... Directly. In fact, her eyes were looking in the opposite direction of each other. She noticed him staring at her eyes.

"Um... Mister? Why are you looking at me like that? And why won't you talk?" The grey pegasus asked the human that was on the ground staring at her.

No reply. Only a silent, confused stare. ''What. The. Fuck.'' Those exact words went though his mind.

"Um... Do you know this place?" She showed the stranger the address on the package. To his surprise, it was written in English. Not some weird alien language. The tag read, "Golden Oaks Library, Ponyville". Still unable to speak, he pointed in the direction of Ponyville. right behind the unusual grey pegasus that hovered in front of him. She seemed confused at first, then she turned the tag upside-down, looked over her shoulder, and realized what it said.

"Oh... Hehe, eh, whoops." she said embarrassed. "Sorry for wasting your time, mister. Oh boy can't wait to tell everypony about this!" then she flew off down the trail, flying out of eyes reach. The stranger still sat there, very confused. "Am I going insane?" he said to himself lighting up another cigarette to calm himself down.

''My god... Whats going on? That was a fucking pegasus! They're fictional! Not real! Like God and Jesus. Thor, Odin, Unicorns, Loki, Talos, Allah, That false god from Star Trek: The Final frontier, Lucifer, and the flying spaghetti monster... Ugh... This is like that one scene in Evil Dead 2... Except no ones laughing... Ugh... Some 4th of July so far...'' The stranger thought to himself with a million thoughts running around his mind. Staring down the trail, past the trees, about a half mile up the trail and over a hill, lied a small comforting down. Buildings were familiar, similar architecture but vastly different in an almost cartoonish way. Each building was unique and painted in bright warm colors. Ponyville. A few miles further another human by the shortened name of Lero, short for Bellerophon, was sitting down with his family for an afternoon brunch.