Xenophilia: The Cynical Human

“If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
- Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

''Damn my short memory... Heh... Last time I rode a rain I was about 4 or 5...'' Daniel thought to himself, sitting on a bench tapping his foot impatiently on the ground. It was in almost noon, according to his watch, the sun was high in the sky, and the colors were brighter than ever, hurting his eyes. It was amazing to see ponies in different variation of colors.Twilight had just finished talking to the ticket administrator, and trotted towards Daniel with eight golden tickets. "Alright I've got the tickets for the next train! Which should be here in about..." she turned to the clock on the wall, "Ten minutes! Grab some snacks if you're hungry."

''Not in the mood for sweets.'' Daniel said. Twilight shrugged, "If you say so." she trotted to where her friends and Lero were, the snack bar. Daniel looked at them, talking, laughing, and smiling. He hasn't seen this much happiness in many, many years. Daniel had a hard time processing all this. The ponies that walked past him just glanced at him with curiosity and spoke amongst one another. Every time he did catch a pony he just shot them a cold scowl, causing them to move along. A yellow female unicorn with a blue mane ran up to him, levitating a newspaper and a quill dripping in black ink in front of him.

''Ooh! Ooh! You're Daniel the new human! Will you sign my newspaper? Please?'' The unicorn asked quickly and excitedly. Daniel leaned his back against the bench and stared at the newspaper. He along with Lero and Mayor Mare were on the front page. This was taken while Lero was giving his speech about his past experiences and determination to do his best to mentor Daniel. Daniel leaned to the right to catch a glimpse of Lero and the others, He was wiping some frosting off of his chin leftover from a cupcake he had just finished. Then a mint green unicorn by the name of Lyra came up from behind Lero and hugged him around the waist.

''Hey Lero! Made it on time!'' Lyra said happily nuzzling his back. Lero spun around and returned the hug that lasted for a few seconds while everyone ''awwwwwwed.''

''I'm happy you got here when you could.'' Lero said planting a kiss on Lyra's lips. Much to Daniel's disgust as he looked away and back to the anxious yellow unicorn and the newspaper.

''Ugh... Fine... Damn paparazzi...'' Daniel muttered grabbing the quill and the newspaper, scribbling his first and last name on it then handing it back to the unicorn. The unicorn squealed with delight.

''Now get lost!'' Daniel said sharply to her.

''Thank you!'' She said trotting off. ''How rude....'' She muttered under her breath as Lero and the others walked up to Daniel.

''Hey who was that?'' Rainbow Dash asked. Daniel let out a sigh and stood up, stretching his arms.

''Just some random unicorn that wanted my autograph.'' Daniel replied.scratching his chin. He heard a noise, metal creaking, then a large whistle. "The train is here!" Lero said turning to face the train. Daniel looked to where the noise was.

"That's the train?" Daniel asked cocking his head at the train. ''Looks like something from the 1800's. Reconstruction era at best. Maybe 1874.''

''Reconstruction era?'' Rainbow asked with confusion.

''Ulysses S. Grant... Civil War hero... Was in charge of the Union army after several incompetent generals... Below average president... Didn't strongly take charge of his government and as a result corruption flourished under his watch. Was an honest person himself but chose his advisers wrong...'' Daniel mumbled to himself quietly.

"Yup! And it's our ride." Applejack said. The train came to a complete stop, then whistled again. "All aboard!" The train conductor yelled and blowed a whistle twice ''All aboard the train from Ponyville to Canterlot!” Several ponies boarded the train, whispering to one another as he passed by some of them. Daniel heard one pony say his name and mention something about apparent rude behavior. Daniel stooped for a moment before getting on the train. Looking into a crowd of ponies that were boarding another caboose, he saw a man in the crowd. It was him. But he was dressed in all black and a neater haircut. But there was an odd feel to him... He wasn't him... No... It was... The man smiled at him and waved before walking off and disappearing.

''Heh. Just a fucking hallucination. Minds still playing games on me...'' Daniel thought looking away. He boarded the train, walked towards the back, and sat down. Daniel looked out the window and looked blankly at the mountain, snow covered the land where they were going, except their destination. Thought running through his mind. A couple rows ahead, the mane six, Lyra, and Lero were all talking. "Daniel looks kinda lonely, don'tcha think?" Applejack said.

''I'll go sit with him.'' Lero said getting out of his seat.

''Me too!'' Pinky said happily and bubbly as usual hopping out of her seat.

"Go ahead." Twilight said.

''I don't really like him, Lero. He may be a human... But hes kinda a jerk if you ask me.'' Rainbow Dash said putting a hoof on Lero's shoulder, making him stop briefly in his tracks. ''We'll just have to get used to him. I'm going to attempt to know him a bit better.''

Pinkie rushed to the seat, sat down, looked at Daniel, and smiled ear to ear. Daniel looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

''Um... Do you need something?'' Daniel asked

''Yes!'' Pinky replied with a huge unnatural grin on her face.

''Er, what?''

''For you to be my very very best friend!'' Pinkly yelled with excitement. Making Daniel cringe and shudder slightly.

''Hey Daniel, Pinky.'' Lero said gesturing to Pinky and sitting in the seat across from Daniel.

''Lero.'' Daniel said bluntly still with a stone cold unreadable expression on his face.

''How are you feeling?'' Lero asked readjusting himself in his seat.

''I'm fine. Just paranoid about meeting Princess Celestia.'' Daniel answered. Pinky pie just watched the two humans talk about one another.

''So, tell me Daniel, what did you do before you cam here? Career wise.'' Lero asked

''Ugh...'' Daniel sighed rummaging through his many pockets. He pulled out a badge, which shined brightly in Celestia's radiant sun that was shining through the windows. The badge displayed the symbol of the Los Angeles Police Department. Also, Daniel's badge number was strewn across the bottom. “Newman. Eight-One Five. LAPD” He said, reading off his ID number.

“Wowie thats so awesome! Hey, what’s ‘LAPD’?” Pinky asked while admiring the neatly polished badge.

''Los Angeles Police Department. Terrible city. But at least it keeps me busy, adds actual purpose to my life. Keeping the streets clean of any lawbreakers.'' Daniel said still holding up his badge. He was going to confess that he had a soft spot for drug dealers, but he decided to hold it back thinking it didn't matter here.

''You're a police officer huh?'' Lero said surprised. ''How long have you been doing it and what was it like?'' Daniel was about to answer until Pinky randomly licked the badge. Daniel raised a brow at this and immediately slipped his badge back into his pocket. ''Um... I'll pretend I didn't see that...'' He though to himself before answering back to Lero.

''I must admit, every single second I spent wearing the uniform was a pleasure and absolute addiction. And a real challenge. Always tested the limits of human psychological, emotional, and physical strength and boundaries...''

''So Danny what made you want to become a police officer?'' Pinky asked

''Danny?'' Lero said cocking his head a little.

''Just a small nickname.'' Daniel responded bluntly

''Don't worry. Lyra calls me fingers sometimes. Applejack, Mr.Handy, and Dash calls me big guy.'' Lero said with a chuckle.

''Heh. Well. You see, as a child I used to live in a rather quiet and peaceful city in Idaho. I loved it. Nothing ever seemed to happen, then when I was 12 or so me and my family moved to LA. A lot more crime there. A lot more bullies. I lived in the ghetto. The worst possible place in the city. I despised everyone around me and I swore to myself I would never be anything like them and escape it. And I would do anything to eradicate gangster scum like them. So I finished school and did all my studying and training, to become a loyal enforcer of the law.'' Daniel said having a few flashbacks.

''It must have been terrible for you...'' Pinky said quietly, her bubbly mood starting to slip away.

''Have you ever been injured on the job? Like shot or stabbed?'' Lero asked with concern in his voice. Lero didn't know how to react to what Daniel had just said. He felt... A certain sadness for him. So did Pinky, only hers was a bit stronger.

''Well, I've gotten injuries that have almost killed me. Painful. But it didn't matter as long as I did my job well.'' Daniel said bluntly looking over to Pinky pie, who was staring him right in the face with her big blue eyes.

''Why didn't it matter?'' Lero asked curiously and worriedly leaning in a bit.

''I have nothing to live for. Being a firm protector of the law was the only thing that kept me from killing myself by shooting myself in the head or jumping head first into a wood chipper.'' Daniel said rather coldly frowning and looking away from them and out the window. That statement only made them feel worse about them. ''People are scum. Some good. And some good. And I may hate humans but I had to protect the few good ones in that world. For the greater good.''

Lero was about to speak but Pinky cut him off.

''Danny! Life is too great to live depressed! And I swear to Celestia I'm gonna change your attitude and turn that frown upside down! You need to be happy! Pinkie took a long, big breath, "When I was a little filly and the sun was going do-o-own," Daniel sighed and decided to zone out, looking outside at the environment. The snowy terrain had disappeared and grass was now all over the landscape, including trees, flowers, and a clear sky. It was strange to him how two different weathers can be so close to each other, but it wasn't the first time he has seen it. The train was surprisingly large on the interior, but seeing it outside, it was small. Pinky continued to sing ''At the gala'' and other songs... This slowly angered Daniel...

''Daniel, did you have a girlfriend?'' Lero asked relaxing back in his cushioned seat.

''No. Lyra, that light green pony, I take it shes yours.'' Daniel said still staring out the window and trying his best to ignore Pinky.

''Well, Lyra is actually my wife. As well as Dash and Twilight.'' Lero said looking over his seat to them. Who were all engaged in a conversation filled with laughter and happiness.

''All three of them? Married?'' Daniel recalled the other night where he saw all of them hug and Lero telling them he loved them. He assumed they meant love in a friend way.

''Wait wait wait wait... So your a-''

''Polygamist?'' Lero said cutting him off.

''Yeah... Is that legal here? And socially acceptable?'' Daniel asked feeling both extremely annoyed with Pinky's singing and feeling disgusted. Daniel wasn't a person who cared for morals. In fact he kinda despised them. Daniel was the sort of person who believed you could do whatever the hell you want as long as it didn't harm anyone else in anyway. Though in the case of having more then one wife, he hated the idea. Daniel viewed marraige to be only between two people who loved each other. What concerned him was the implications it could create within a family. Daniel viewed the concept of a polygamist family as a single controlling Shepard and a flock of lambs.

''It is, and it actually is.'' Lero explained. ''You see, the mare-to-stallion ratio here is one stallion per four mares. So monogamy is actually frowned upon and considered selfish. Like cannibalism. I was hesitant about it at first, but, things escalated and our love for one another strengthened.''

''Theres a big problem about that, Lero. What about jealousy in this herd?'' Daniel asked

''Well, everypony is pretty laid back about that. Including myself when I was first assimilated into Equestria's cultural norms. You get used to it, and to be frank, its very happy. Love is love...''

''I don't know... Equestria is a very different place... This is going to take a lot to get used too..'' Daniel said letting out a deep sigh. Daniel couldn't take it anymore. Pinky's sing which he tried his best to ignore. He snapped.

''SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FRICKIN' FUCK UP PINKY! THATS ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH!'' Daniel screamed standing up from his red cushioned seat and berating Pinky. Silence filled the train. Lero and everypony present stared at him in shock. The nerve he had to scream that out loud. Pinky's frizzy poofy light pink mane somehow deflated like a tire. It was a darker pink, droopy, and stringy. And tears began to swell up in Pinky's eyes as she slouched in her seat with her lip quivering in fear.

''Pinky I'm-'' Daniel said calmly before being cut off.

''GET AWAY FROM ME!'' Pinky screamed bursting into tears, jumping out of her seat, and running down the aisle and into another part of the train. Feeling heavy regret Daniel tried to run after Pinky, but she was too quick, and Daniel just stood there in the middle. Feeling worse then he already was. All of a sudden Daniel was hit by a colossal force of strength, knocking the wind out of him and sending him flying into the wall, and bucked him several times in the face.

''You made Pinky cry! Your a monster!'' Rainbow Dash yelled hitting Daniel in the face and knocking his head into the wall.

''I'm sorry! Fucking stop!'' Daniel yelled trying to defend himself, but didn't out of fear it would make his situation worst.

''Rainbow Dash stop!'' Lyra yelled restraining the strong sky blue pegasus in a golden aura of magic. Lero, Twilight, and everypony on board just watched them in astonishment.

''No! I haven't seen Pinky that bad since that surprise party incident! I knew he was bad!'' Rainbow yelled struggling to break free of the magic aura that was holding her.

''Rainbow, he just got upset by Pinky's singing.'' Lero said standing up and walking over to his herdmate, who was beating the shit out of the human who lost his temper and fell out of line...

''For the record...'' Daniel said wiping blood off his face. ''I'm extremely sorry. I didn't mean to provoke you Dash.'' He said rising to his feet and grabbing hold of a nearby seat to use as support. ''Look... I'll make it up anyway you want. Promise! Oh god... MEDIC!''

''Oh dear Celestia, somepony get a doctor!'' Twilight yelled

''Dash... Please... He just lost himself for a moment... We'll get Pinky, we'll work this out, we'll forgive and forget...'' Lero said hugging Rainbow while she was still strung up by Lyra's magic. ''Please, for us?'' He said stroking her multi-colored mane.

''I'll forgive him... But that won't mean I'll like him...'' Rainbow replied

''So we're all in agreement then?'' Lyra asked

''Thanks Doc.'' Daniel said holding an ice bag on his left eye. ''Rainbow is pretty damn strong.''

“It’s fine, really. I’m just glad to help an injured soul. Thanks Celestia I got her in a flash.'' The dark brown doctor stallion said with a chuckle. ''It could have been worse. Much worse.''

''You got that right.'' Daniel thought looking at the doctor with his vision slightly blurred. ''She could have knocked my fucking head off.''

''Rainbow, apologize to Daniel.'' Lero said to Rainbow who was sitting in her seat hugging Pinky, who was looking at him with dried tears on her face. Gazing at her with his good eye, he immediately felt like the worst kind of scum out there.

''Not until Daniel apologizes to Pinky first.'' Rainbow said. Daniel stood up weakly.

''Whoa there, easy, this ain't a race.'' The doctor pony said. ''I've done enough, just take things slow.'' He said walking back into the previous part of the train he came from.

''I'm fine. Just a few bruises.'' Daniel said bluntly walking over to where Rainbow and Pinky were. He sat down in the seat across from them and put on a small smile that barely passed for real. Though he felt incredibly sorry, it was somehow out of his power to actually crack a real smile.

''Pinky...'' He said trying to look her in the eyes, she only looked away out the window. ''I'm sorry. So so sorry. And if theres anything I can do for you to make up, anything at all, just let me know.''

''Anything?'' Pinky asked looking at him, making eye contact.

''Anything you want.'' Daniel said

''Will you be my friend? And will you come to your official welcome to Ponyville party tomorrow?'' Pinky asked, a small smile creeping across her face, as she was expecting a yes.

''Yes. Both of those.'' Daniel said smiling. Pinky's mane seemed to re-inflate as her hair became poofy and lighter again. She then grabbed Daniel with her forelegs and gave him a tight hug. Lero and everypony else smiled at them.

''Oh thank you thank you thank you!'' Pinky said returning to her happy and bubbly self. ''I promise, I'll do everything I can to make you happy and smile more!''

''I'd like that.., Thank you. Um... My heart soars.'' Daniel said returning Pinky's hug. ''Heh... Her mane kinda smells like cotton candy...'' He thought.

''Well, I'm glad you two made up. Rainbow?'' Lero said looking over to Rainbow dash who was sitting with her forelegs crossed.

''I'm sorry I attacked you and gave you a black eye and a bunch of bruises. Its just... Nopon- Er, no one insults my friends like that. I... Lost my cool...'' Rainbow said bitterly not making eye contact with him.

''Thats fine.'' Daniel replied as he and Pinky broke the hug. A pony came from a door in front of the train, wearing a Fez, and a red jacket. "Tickets." he said, all the tickets were held in the air.

''Take it.'' Daniel said flatly as the pony collected his ticket and moved on to the next.

"Please be ready to exit the train." The conducter said. All the ponies stood up, grabbed their belongings, and were ready to leave the train.

"Hey look, there it is!" Pinkie Pie yelled, pointing her hoof at the castle gates. The train rail wasn't going through the gates of course, it led to a train platform.. The train slowed down, letting an irritating "Screech."

''Ugh... Typical...'' Daniel muttered upon hearing the train stop.

"Please exit the train." the conducter said. Everyone exited the train, Daniel waited for them. "Hey, where's Daniel?" Lero asked, looking for any other tall humans among the crowds. After the crowd disappeared, Daniel came out from the train, Then waved to them.

''Over here!'' Daniel yelled as everyone ran over to him.

''So where are we headed? The palace?''

''Yes. We're going to the castle." Twilight said

''Well, shall we?'' Pinky said.

''We don't wanna keep the princess waiting. Its rude.'' Lero commented.

''Well.. Lets get this show on the road...'' Daniel muttered to himself.

"We shall." Rarity said. They continued through a hallway, with guards. As they walked passed them, each one seemed to take a glance at Daniel, keeping their serious mood. The walk seemed like hours, even though they have now reached the end in a minute. Two guards stood in the way, holding gold spears. "Uh, tough security, don't you think?" Twilight said to the guards. The guards shot Daniel a cold look, grunted, then let them pass.

“Miss Sparkle, you and your friends must come with us to the Royal Throne Room. The Princess wishes to meet with you all..” One of the guards said in a gruff voice.

''Heh. Kinda reminds me of Spartans.'' Daniel thought. ''I'm impressed.''

"I think it's best we get going now." Fluttershy said in a quiet tone. They walked through the streets, everypony stared at them as they passed. This made Fluttershy extremely nervous. They had almost arrived to castle, just a couple more houses and stores, than they'd be at the gates. A unicorn selling jewelry stepped in front of them, "Hello mares and sirs, may I interest you in some jewelry?" he pulled out case showing emerald, sapphire, ruby, and diamond necklaces.

"They look lovely!" Rarity said, "But no thank you." The seller frowned, slammed the case shut, and trotted away. "How rude."

''Probably just fakes. Plastic painted to look like metal and glass painted to look like actual gems.'' Daniel commented before thinking to himself. ''This is why I hate street venders...''

They continued their walk, trying to avoid as much sellers as possible. Eventually, they arrived at the gates of "Canterlot Castle." Four guards stood by the golden gates, staring at nothing. "Halt!" one of them ordered. They stood still, while the other three investigated them, searching various parts of their body. After inspection he nodded, and the gates opened. "It's been kinda quiet on the way here." Fluttershy said, walking through the gates to the castle. "Yeah, she's right." Rainbow Dash agreed. "Well then, what should we talk about?" Twilight said. No one said a word. "Then we should keep going." They had to climb three flights of stairs, before finally reaching a large golden door.

This was definitely the throne room. Daniel could see two high-backed chairs and they were held in high esteem. They were situated so that the ones who sat on them would be able to see everything in the room. One of them had a sunny look to it and the other had dark luminescent scenery. Sitting in one of the thrones, was a tall regal looking mare that was as white as snow and as majestic as a lioness. She had a warm smile written on her face as she stood up from her throne to greet the group. And her long multi-colored mane seemed to sparkle in the sun light and wave in the wind on its own.

''How is her mane doing that? Ugh... Magic... Of course... Lero compared her to a god after all...'' Daniel thought bitterly

.“Hello, my name is Princess Celestia. I apologize for my dear sister's absence. Princess Luna and I are the rulers of Equestria, and our duties are to raise the sun and moon. What is your name?'' She said in a majestic royal voice and gesturing to Daniel.

''You don't exactly roll out on a red carpet.'' Daniel commented bluntly. The mane six and Lyra all gasped, while Lero let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. Daniel was standing in the presence of the most powerful being in Equestria. The goddess of the sun. And he just let that rude comment fall out of his mouth like that. Daniel gazed upon Princess Celestia with a neutral expression and a million thoughts running though his mind. He didn't know how to react to the majestic princess and co-ruler of Equestria. Daniel felt two things. Fearlessness. And curiosity.

''Be polite.'' Lero sharply whispered. Upon hearing this Celestia narrowed her light greyish magenta eyes at him.

''You will respect my authority, now, what is your name?'' Celestia asked again.

''Daniel. Daniel Newman.'' Daniel answered. ''Heh. Its ironic. My last name considering the fact that I am actually new here.'' He said with a nervous chuckle. Celestia glanced at his black eye and bruised face with concern and worry rising in her heart.

''What happened to your face Daniel?'' Celestia asked calmly to him meeting eye contact.

''Daniel just lost himself and accidentally provoked Rainbow Dash into beating him up.'' Lero said calmly, looking over at Rainbow Dash.

''Lost himself? Explain.'' Celestia said now looking over to Rainbow Dash, who shuddered a little bit where she stood.

''Yeah... Daniel lost his temper and yelled at Pinky. Making her nearly cry her eyes out.'' Rainbow said standing by her friend Pinky.

''Its all good now! Me and Daniel are best friends!'' Pinky said happily bouncing up and down.

''Is that so?'' Princess Celestia said looking at Pinky, then at Lero, then finally at Daniel.

"Daniel. I'm going to access the memories of your life before coming here." Princess Celestia said taking a few steps foreword.

''Wait what?'' Daniel exclaimed backing up a little. ''No. That shit sin't going to happen. Its private! My fucking private thoughts!''

''Daniel please, don't struggle. Just go along with it.'' Lero said putting his hand on his shoulder trying to calm him.

''I wasn't asking for your permission.'' Celestia said, her horn glowed brightly as she launched into Daniel's mind. What Celestia saw was too horrible for words. Celestia saw his life. His childhood. His life was peaceful when he was young. Then the darkness came... And over time the gangs, the violence, the peer pressure of his city started to degrade him. Daniel became depressed at a very young age. One day, he fell madly in love. He was truly happy for the first time in many years. Then he lost her, Which sent him into an even deeper depression. he hurt himself... He attempted to kill himself several times... The Daniel who's mind she was currently invading was a broken man. Mentally and emotionally. A shadow of what he used to be before having his heart broken and tormented amongst his own kind. A pessimist who just stumbled through life without any ambition for the future except for death. Daniel... A troubled soul... Who despised almost everyone and wanted to die... Who had a negative outlook on life the likes shes never seen or heard of... She hated seeing him this unhappy and hurt... Seeing all these painful memories and near insanity made Princess Celestia shed a few tears before she broke the connection. She couldn't bear to see any more of his past memories.

''You weren't supposed to see that...'' Daniel said casually falling to his knees and staring at the ground.

''I'm sorry Daniel.... I'm so sorry...'' Princess Celestia said, a few more tears ran down he face as she looked upon the broken human, thinking to herself with heavily emotional thoughts. Princess Celestia wanted to help this poor troubled human. No... She along with everyone else was now determined to turn his life around... For the better... For the best....