Xenophilia: The Cynical Human

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Darkness... A twisting... Wisping... Dreamlike... Darkness...

''No! Stop!'' A voice screamed in the darkness

''AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGH!''

''Coward.''

''PLEASE MISTRESS NHYMERRIA! GET THEM OFF ME! GET THEM OFF!''

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Laughter echoed in the darkness...

''Thoust pet is very amusing.''

''RESIST HER! RESIST HER! FIGHT!''

''Theres greatness in you.''

Knock Knock Knock Knock

''RUN FORREST RUN!''

''Why are you helping me?''

''Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth-''

''Why do these damn voices whisper to me...''

''Rachel? Is that you?''

''AAAAAAAARGH! IT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH!''

''No!

''Will the circle... Be unbroken... By and by... By and by... Theres a better... Home awaiting... In the sky... Oh... In the sky...'' A chorus sang before fading into the darkness

''What do we say to these god damn tyrants?!'' A voice yelled and barely audible voices cheering.

''NO!''

''A man choooses! A slave obeys!'' A voice boomed

''Hi ho silver away!'

''Daniel... Where art thou going?'' A cold eerie distorted female voice said in the darkness. ''''Its not over between us... Thou is my pet, and always shall be... Thou can't keep running forever...''

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

''Hey Daniel? You awake in there?'' A seemingly familiar voice called out in the darkness.

''Daniel? Its us!'' Another voice called out.

''Yo wake up! Its 8 already!'' An also seemingly familiar brash female voice called out as well.

''Should ah just buck the door down?'' A female voice with a southern accent asked jokingly

''Very funny Applejack...''

''Maybe we just let him sleep in just a few minutes...'' A meek female voice said quietly barely loud enough to hear.

Daniel quickly sat up in his bed, drenched in sweat. He checked his watch immediately. 8 AM on the dot...

''Coming! Hold on a few minutes!'' Daniel yelled at the door then rubbing his eyes for a second. ''God... Theres so much shit in my head...'' He thought to himself getting out of bed. ''Ugh... Not a fucking dream... All these fucking voices in my mind and all these fucking holes in my memory... Ugh... Fuck my life...'' He thought to himself feeling extremely bitter and letting out a deep sigh as he quickly put his clothes on and rushed to the door.

''So your telling me that two princesses rule all of Equestria? Kinda like a monarchy?'' Daniel asked taking a bit out of his cupcake. Daniel was sitting in sugarcube corner with Lero, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Applejack, and a shy yellow pegasus who spoke less than him. Sugarcube corner was oddly made from candy on the outside, which boggled his mind putting aside the fact it very much resembled a giant gingerbread house. But inside, the bakery where Pinky Pie worked felt warm. And comforting.

''Eeyup, Princess Celestia raises the sun and Princess Luna raises the moon.'' Applejack said to him grasping a tankard of cider in her hoof somehow and brought it to her lips as she took a sip.

''And Mayor Mare is just in charge of Ponyville.'' Lero said enjoying a strawberry sundae he was sharing with Dash and Twilight.

''What? Raises the sun and the moon? How the hell is that possible? Thats... Thats not possible. Its not science.'' Daniel said with confusion in his voice. '

''Magic silly!'' Pinkie said in her usual energetic popping up from behind him with a fresh tray of cupcakes then setting it on the table. ''You have to try these! Its new my recipe!''

''Mmm, these are great Pinkie!'' Rainbow Dash exclaimed after biting down half of it.

''Magic exists here Daniel, I didn't believe it myself at first.'' Lero said in his usual calm manner pushing his sundae away and taking a cupcake. ''Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are alicorns, which means they have the power to raise the moon and the sun. They're pretty much gods.''

''Its very true. All unicorns and alicorns can use magic. Though Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are the only alicorns in existence. Well, Cadence is but she can't do anything with the sun and moon.'' Twilight commented. A purple aura surrounded one of the cupcakes as it somehow flew over to her. Daniel's eyes widened as he watched the cupcake float over to Twilight.

''That has to be a fucking parlor trick. Like Jesus turning water into wine. Or pulling a rabbit out of a hat.'' Daniel said bluntly pointing to the cupcake Twilight was eating that was grasped by the magical purple aura.

''Watch your language Danny!'' Pinkie said concerned. ''This is a family place. Wait do you mind if I call you Danny?''

''Sure. Sorry.'' Daniel said rolling his eyes.

''It isn't a trick. its magic.'' Twilight assured nodding her head.

''Pegasi can use magic too. To manipulate the weather and walk on clouds.'' Rainbow dash commented

''Ugh... Winged ponies controlling the weather... What next? Dragons or some shit?'' Daniel thought to himself looking around the bakery.

''I haven't heard you speak yet.'' Daniel said to the quiet yellow pegasus sitting next to Applejack. ''Whats your name?''

''Fluttershy...'' She said quietly

''Come again?''

''Fluttershy...'' She said a bit louder, loud enough to be heard.

“She’s not very good at meeting new folk.” Applejack commented. “But she’s real sweet. But really shy.”

''Hm. Well. Its good to meet you Fluttershy.'' Daniel said to her. Fluttershy looked away and cracked a small smile.

''Now, Daniel, we barely know anything about you. Can you answer a few questions for us?'' Lero asked

''Fire away.'' Daniel replied bluntly slouching in his seat.

''Do you remember anything? Anything at all of how you came to be here?'' Lero asked leaning in and looking him right in the eyes.

''No. Its all a blur and the details allude me.'' Daniel said scratching the back of his neck. That was a lie of course. ''Say, do you have a library around here? I need some more information about Equestria and how everything works around here.''

''I actually own the library.'' Twilight said. ''Along with my assistant Spike.''

''Speaking of Spike, why is the little guy?'' Lero asked putting one arm around Twilight and his other around Rainbow Dash. ''I know Lyra is with Bon-Bon running errands.''

''Spike is re-organizing the shelves back the library remember?'' Rainbow commented. ''He seemed to be in a very good mood this morning.''

''Ah, I remember.'' Lero said. ''Should we go see him? We can get you a few books too Daniel.''

''That would be great.'' Daniel said standing up.

''Ugh... I being stared at...'' Daniel muttered as he and the others walked down the street of Ponyville. Ponies of all different colors and race littered the streets looking at him as they walked. And Daniel noticed a few pegasi in the sky, some flying above and others watching him.

''Its not everyday we get another human around these parts ya know.'' Applejack commented

''Heh... What are those tattoo things everyone seems to have?" Daniel asked looking around at the ponies on the street who were staring at him.

''Its a cutie mark. It’s something ponies get when they discover their special talent.” Applejack said. ''Ah tried to live in Manehatten with mah aunt and uncle, but then ah realized that mah place was here on the farm. When ah came home, this here appeared on mah flank.” She gestured to the three red apples contrasting her orange fur.

''Heh... Kinda like merit badges in boy scouts...'' Daniel muttered under his breath as they approached a giant tree-like house. Oh wait... The sign above the front door read ''Golden Oaks Library.''

''Heh... This is the place that weird grey pegasus with the screwed up eyes was looking for...'' Daniel thought looking at the library. ''So, this is the place?'' Daniel asked out loud even though he knew the answer to the question.

''Yep.'' Lero said as entered the library. Daniel and the others was greeted by a small purple... lizard thing...

''Oh hey guys...'' He said with his voice faltering as he gawked at Daniel. ''Wow. This is really something isn't it? Hi I'm Spike.'' The little purple dragon said with a smile extending his right claw out for a hand/claw shake. Daniel sighed, then knelt down to shake his claw.

''I'm Daniel. Heh. First talking ponies, now talking iguanas.'' Daniel said shaking his claw.

''I'm not an iguana! I'm a dragon!'' Spike shouted, breaking the hand/claw shake and crossing his arms.

''You look like one. But you lack wings.'' Daniel said standing back up. ''Without them you look like an overgrown gecko or something.''

''He’s a certain breed of wingless dragon.” Twilight explained. “But he’s still classified as a dragon.”

''Can you at least breath fire? If you can't then I'd just classify you as a normal lizard or something.'' Daniel said

''Spike can send notes and letters Princess Celestia with magic fire, but his actual fire-breathing skills aren't that great... Last time I checked, It wasn't very hot, and it wasn't very long either.'' Lero said to Daniel before turning to Spike. ''How you been Spike?''

''Thanks Lero, and I've been pretty good. Incredibly surprised with meeting you Daniel. You seem a bit rude, but alright.'' Spike said glancing up at Daniel and Lero.

''I admit I am at times. But most of the time I try to refrain myself from being like that.'' Daniel said with no emotion in his voice as usual and with an unreadable look on his face. Speaking of notes and letters, Spike let out a burp, then a flame came out, and a scroll landed on the ground. Spike grabbed the scroll and cleared his throat...

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, I have returned from Saddle Arabia on royal business. Bring this other human to Canterlot Castle immediately. I suggest you bring Lero and your friends as well. I'm sorry that I can't bring any transport for you, you'll have to take a train. This is urgent. From, Princess Celestia." Spike finished reading the letter.

''So now I get to meet the princesses?'' Daniel asked looking down at the letter.

''Yup... I have to warn you Daniel, to be incredibly respectful. Heh... Celestia onced threatened to teleport me into space to see how I would react under pressure.'' Lero said having a flashback.

''Thats a comforting thought...'' Daniel muttered. ''Well... Today I'm going to meet a so called goddess of the sun. Of course I should fucking pay respect... Wouldn't want to be shot into space and possibly burn in the sun like Lero said. Then again. He might be just trying to trick me. Fucking royalty... Respect is earned... Not just given out freely... This is why I hate royalty... I don't care if Princess Celestia is a goddess...''