My Little Zergling
By Silent Bob
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH!.!.!
Screaming forth from a height beyond heights came a small ship. It was rectangular in shape, though with roundish edges. And if viewed from the top, one could vaguely see a symbol upon it: a red, muscled arm holding a whip. She whizzed downwards at tremendous speeds, rattling and banking in the thick atmosphere of the burning world to which it descended to. And though the whip painted on it would suggest otherwise: those aboard it were not on a mission to tame the beasts of hell, they were here to figure out how soon they would be killing them... or the other way around...
There wasn't much inside the vessel, save for the pilot's cockpit where an agitated, though confident young woman wrestled to keep the vessel on a stable, happy landing vector, and the troop bay, which took up the largest portion of it. There, more soldiers stood, though they weren't meant to stay inside the ship, as the heavy power-armor they wore suggested, complete with glass helmets and all, making them able to be completely air-tight if needed. However, for the moment, they were down, revealing a most peculiar sight:
The faces of those within were laced with anything but fear.
"WOOOOOOO YEAH! Who's ready for whack-a-Zerg, round two?!" an overly enthusiastic trooper grinned.
"Oi, pipe down ya bloody green horn," another marine growled, one who had three stripes on his armor. "We'll be waxin' Zerg alrigh', but let me tell ya, it ain't pretty to be playin' ball on their home field..."
The first marine rolled his eyes.
"Pfffft, yeah right! We'll roast these critters like we did in the first war! Don't matter where we're playin'!" he said, quickly raising the large, rectangular weapon he held in his power-gloved fingers and mock-pulling the trigger. "BAM! One for the trophy collection! BAM! Two! Boom, headshot! Hahaha!” he cackled. “I'll be blasting their heads off before you can say DIE MOTHER FUC-"
"Actually uh... the Protoss were the ones who scored the major victory during the first war... with the whole killing the Overmind thing," another trooper, this one female and wearing geeky classes piped up, smiling sheepishly.
The first trooper turned and gave her a blank look. "Kelly, please tell me you aren't still reading that Raynor's Raiders sanctioned tabloid bullshit! Everyone knows the Dominion was there when the Overmind was slain. Mengsk drove his family's sword right through the eye of that thing!" He then pointed towards his eye, grinning as he leaned closer to her. "Right through the friggin' eye!"
"How does that even make any sense, Stenson?" Kelly groaned. "When the Zerg started displaying signs of rampancy, Emperor Mengsk was on Korhal delivering his-"
"Jesus H. Caroling Christ... can't you guys just pipe down and enjoy the music?" a tired looking marine yawned from the back, evidently having just been woken up.
The two arguing marines raised their eyebrows, perking their ears to a rendition of Back in Black as it blared through the troop bay.
"Ugh, why the hell do we always listen to this old Earth crap, though?" Stenson grumbled. "We should be listening to great Korpulu classics like Sweet Home Alabama!"
Kelly all but facepalmed.
"Yeah, well, ya won't need ta be listenin' to it much longer, we're almost to the surface," the accented marine grunted. "Even though you insult my Australian' heritage by callin' it crap, by the way."
The tired marine raised an eyebrow. "How do you know we're so close?
The accented marine narrowed his eyes. "Cus' I can smell the sulfur, Niles. I's been here once before. Lock n' load, ladies."
"And this is why it sucks to be the token girl," Kelly groaned, smacking a clip of massive slugs into her overly-large Guass Rifle with a satisfying CLICK! "You all say 'ladies' like it's a bad thing!"
"Yeah, unless you're a lady with balls of steel, Kelly!" Stenson smirked cheekily.
Kelly merely sighed, shaking her head incredulously. "Sometimes Stenson, I think zerglings have more brains than you."
"But you know they don't kiss as good," he winked, before coughing slightly. "The teeth would probably get in the way."
Niles gave a small laugh at that, as Kelly rolled her eyes.
"Sarge, permission to use Stenson as zergling bait," she said jokingly.
"Only if he gets' wounded and can't shoot nemore," the Australian sergeant grunted, Stenson giving a slight shiver and a gulp.
At that, a new voice made itself known, heavily distorted as if run through a filter.
"Comin' into the landing zone. Zerg Hive twenty clicks to the east. No sign of heavy air activity, as reported from orbit. Seems this one doesn't have a flyers den' after all," it squawked from a nearby loudspeaker. "Still, hang on, we're in for some chop!"
"Roger that, Corporal," the sergeant called into his suit's built-in radio, before nodding his head towards the rest of his four-man squad. "Alright, you blokes. You know the mission. We pop into our lovely neighbor's house for a visit, give a lil' peek to see what new goodies they've got, and then book it like we've just seen one of em cheatin' on their wife. Understand?"
"Yes, sir!"
He then gave a smirk. "Then let's make it hasty. You all want to catch the new episode of 'Littlest Pet Shop' still, right?"
"Hell yeah, sir!" Stenson said, saluting.
"Now that is worth getting off this rock for," Niles smiled. "Zoe Trent is best Littlest Pet!"
Kelly shook her head again, closing her eyes.
"Boys..." she muttered.
CHA-CHUNK!
The interior of the ship rattled for the briefest second, before the sound of roaring winds outside the troop bay subsided, leading to an eerie silence.
She had touched down.
"Alright lads, the Corps isn't payin' by the hour! GOGOGO!" the sergeant roared, swinging an enthusiastic hand forward.
☼☼☼
The quartet of marines crept through a small, blackened valley of dust and ash, it having accumulated, as Kelly had explained, from thousands of years of continuous volcanic eruptions. It was not surprising for this world, it being a forever-melting planet situated so close to the red giant it orbited no marine really wanted to think too much about it.
And of course, that's just what Kelly wanted to do.
"...It's interesting, really, tectonic activity on this planet is so high that entire continents have been known to sink beneath oceans of molten lava, some as large as the Great Western Ocean on Tarsonis," she chirped merily.
"Great, and I didn't pack mah swim trunks," Niles said, before lifting an eyebrow. "Makes me wonder how much heat this damned suit could take, though. If I were to fall into said lava ocean..."
"The suit would only be able to resist the heat up to about two minutes, tops," Kelly explained, glancing down at her own. "After that, it'd take another five minutes for it to sink through your armor, but by then, you would already be roasting alive like you were in an-"
"Kelly, please, spare us the bloody details," the sergeant groaned.
"W-Well," Kelly squeaked. "I just want us all to know how much time we'd have to escape if the whole continent sinking thing were to happen... I mean... it has happened without warni-"
"KELLY!" the sergeant practically shouted. "Please, for the love of god. I've got enough on my mind thinkin' there might be Zerg in our futures! I don’t need whatever twisted version of mother nature exists on this world on my mind too."
"Well good! Let the Zerg come then! At least they we can deal with," Stenson grinned. "Like I said: BAM! BOOM, HEADSHOT! You just got Stensoned, baby!"
"Please, you'd probably wet yourself so quick your suit's filter wouldn't know how to handle it," Niles chuckled, Kelly giggling as well.
"Pfff, while my hands might be shakin', I'll still be gettin' those head shots baby! BA-BOOM, HEADSHOT! BOOM, HEADSHOT! BOOOOOM, HEAAADSHOOOT!"
The sergeant rolled his eyes. "You know, between you and Miss Fun-Facts over there, I'm really tempted to test out this suit's lava handling capabilities sometime soon... I saw a nice big pool to take a lil hot dip in on the way down."
"And just leave me all alone with them?" Niles smirked, before shaking his head. "You're a cruel man, sarge."
"Yeah well, my ancestors come from the land down' undah," the sergeant grunted. "Things worse than the Zerg that'd try to kill ya there. Heh, bet they'd be runnin' with their tails between their legs if they ever tried to invade that continent. Ya had to be ruddy tough to survive."
"Bah, I seriously think people overreact about the Zerg," Stenson groaned, twirling about to face his fellow squadmates and halting in his treks, him having been the point man. "I mean, we've all seen the videos, and yeah, they're tough, but they bleed like anything else. 'Hit em' right between the eyes and you'll go far, kids,' my drill instructor always said! I mean, seriously-"
Suddenly, the trio's eyes widened, Kelly frantically gesturing behind him. "Uh, Stenson..."
"With the new Dominion technology at our disposal such as the Thor, mass attacks shouldn't be a problem anymore... and these new holo-points are truly..."
"Stentson! YOUR SIX!" the sergeant cried.
Stenson's eyebrows narrowed in confusion, before he suddenly twirled about with a gasp, his eyes widening in realization... and soon in horror.
"RAUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!.!.!"
"FUCK!"
"SHIT!"
"WAX IT! WASTE THE MOTHER FUCKER!"
CHICK-CHICK!
Stenson cocked his gun, panting frantically as a beast of hell charged his way...
"ALRIGHT, BABY! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!.!.!"
RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!
"SHREEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!.!.!"
"YEAH?! YOU LIKE THAT! COME ON MOTHER FUCKER! GET SOME!"
A brilliant set of flashes illuminated the darkened valley as charred dirt kicked up near the clawed feet of the beast. However, skillfully, it dodged to the left, zig-zagging, before roaring towards one of the valley walls as fast as any killing machine man had ever met. Before the quartet of marines could even get a better look at it, it had used its fearsome talons and powerful frontal legs to burrow into the wall.
And then... silence.
The marines panted.
Hands, arms and entire bodies quaked in fear…
All except one.
"Alright, lads. Keep cool," the sergeant growled, signaling his squadron to form on him in a box-like formation. "It's just a Zerglin-"
"ZERGLING?! YOU EVER SEEN A ZERGLING THAT FAST BEFORE?!" Stenson all but screamed.
"S-Stenson, keep it down, bud," Niles said, patting his shoulder, his hand shivering. "I k-know first encounters with the Zerg always suck, but ya don't wanna signal the whole hive we're here."
Stenson nodded nervously, still panting, before taking a deep breath. "R-Right... sorry. Gotta keep cool... Keep cool..."
"There ya go, lad," the sergeant said, giving him a quick glance of approval. "Keep calm n' carry on. Ole' Earth sayin' I've heard of." He then took a deep breath. "Just keep calm... and carry on..."
"He's right, though," Kelly squeaked, training her gun every which way. "That was no normal zergling. I've studied them on my down-time many times, and I've never seen one so quick..."
Her eyes widened.
"Unless..."
"Unless what?" the sergeant grunted. "Don't tell me this is some bloody runt who's been sippin' on steroids. That's Stenson's job."
"Hey! I don't take steroids you friggin' jerk!" Stenson said, actually letting loose a laugh.
"We know ya don't, buddy, but keep laughing," Niles smiled. "Just keep laughing and we'll get through this..."
"Damned straight," the sergeant said, narrowing his eyes before calling, "Anyway, as you were saying, Kelly?"
She took a deep breath, before continuing with, "well, I've read of old files of a particular zergling strain called Devouring Ones..."
"Lovely name... hopefully they're vegetarians?" Niles butted in, Kelly rolling her eyes at the forced-joke.
"U-Unfortunately for our corpses, no," she stated matter-of-factly.
"Peachy," the sergeant grunted.
"However, there is good news in all of this," she continued. "They aren't usually used as scouts. They're more of hunters..."
"T-That's the good news?!" Stenson said, laughing sarcastically. "Oh this is just great..."
"Easy, son," the sergeant stated in a cool tone. "That's good news because the little bastard may not be reportin' back to its big brother Zerg as we speak."
"B-But aren't they hive-minded?" Niles gulped.
"Nope, not unless they're close to each other," the sergeant said, actually whipping out a cigar and lighting it now. "We just need to kill the beefy runt' and move on is all."
"Wait, there's one thing I forgot to mention," Kelly said, shivering, as her and the rest of the squad continued to train their guns forward, still in the box formation...
About four square feet in-between them.
"And what's that?" the sergeant asked, taking a puff as he held his Guass Rifle with one hand.
Kelly gulped and gave a solitary blink, before stuttering forth, "R-Rumor has it that this breed is... sentient."
Stenson all but giggled maniacally. "Oh this just gets better and better! Too bad I didn't bring my pipe organ! We could have made first contact!"
"Stenson, Jesus Christ, you're starting to grate on my nerves, man," Niles groaned. "Keep it cool. Even if it's sentient, that doesn't mean it's bright." He then cracked a smirk. "You're sentient after all."
"Very funny," Stenson groaned, before squinting in thought for a second, and cracking a smile. "B-But you know... you're right. We can take on one measly zergling. I mean- how smart can it be!"
He then took a deep breath, his eyes narrowing in resolve as his voice echoed into the valley:
"Well, come on then you mother fucker! We're right here! BRING. IT. ON-"
"Hold it-" the sergeant called, tossing down his cigar and holding up an armored hand.
Slowly... warily, he began turning around, his eyes narrowed.
"Did you lot hear that?"
Sweat dripped upon blackened soil...
The sergeant took a deep breath...
...
And then...
"RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!.!.!"
Without warning, the same damned zergling popped out of the ground right in the middle of their formation, kicking up hardened, volcanic rock and sending it clanging against the armored suits of the stunned space marines.
"HOLY SHIT!"
"FUCK! FUCK!"
"COME ON! SHOOT IT!"
Before they could even pull their triggers, however, the armored, muscled tail of the creature twirled about in a three-sixty-degree arc, actually ripping the rifles out of the marines’ hands and sending them sailing over the canyon walls... out of sight.
The jaws of the four nearly dropped as the zergling let loose a terrific growl, its yellow, animal eyes piercing them... its teeth dripping thick saliva... and its mouth...
Smirking?
Stenson seemed to be the only marine who caught this, his eyes widening.
"What the fuc-"
"PISTOLS! QUICK!" the sergeant cried, the four immediately drawing them out of their holsters....
SWIIIIIIIIISHHHHHHHHHHHHH!.!.!
CLACK-CLACK-CLACK-CLACK!.!.!
Only for the zergling to twirl about and do the same thing to them.
"JESUS! When the FUCK did we land in the Loony Toons world?!" Niles shouted.
"Wherever we are, I don't give a shit! You lot get back to the dropship, NOW!" the sergeant roared, him and the zergling now glaring down at each other, each waiting for the other to make the first move.
"S-Sarge! You can't possibly-" Kelly cried.
"I SAID- GET BACK TO THE BLOODY DROPSHIP, GOD DAMNIT!" he screamed, his voice actually starting to crack. "GET. THE FUCK. OUT OF HERE!.!.!"
"Come on Kelly... come on!" Niles said frantically, gripping both her and a stunned Stenson, almost having to drag them away.
"S-Sarge..." Stenson gasped... and to his surprise, he could still see the smirk on the zergling's face. It was almost as cocky and confident as his had been before he had met the little bastard. Though soon, it'd be out of sight, along with the sergeant.
"Oh, got a little cheeky smirk, do ya?" the sarge said, the zergling tilting his head in curiosity before letting out a brief series of strange, cackle like noises. "You must be the zerglin' version of Stenson, I suppose."
He then narrowed his eyes.
"However, I betcha can't box as good as that goofy bloke can."
The sergeant then growled, before reeling back his suit's mechanical arm, it sputtering out a series of steam puffs and rattling as he did so.
He was preparing to punch the zergling.
Like a boss.
However, the zergling didn't make any sort of defensive stance, nor did it pounce on him. Instead, it began waving one of the two talons hanging off its back forward.
The sergeant lowered his eyebrows in confusion, though his face was still contorted with barely-controlled adrenaline-filled rage.
"What, ya warmin' up or something?! Well come on, let's see your stuff ya' little shit!" he growled.
However to his shock, the zergling then actually shook his head, before continuing to gesture behind the sergeant.
The sergeant's jaw nearly dropped as he stood there, awe-struck.
A gust of wind blew by them, smelling of rotten eggs....
The zergling continued to smirk....
And finally, the sergeant nearly threw down his arms, shouting in the most baffled tone possible:
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
☼☼☼
"Oh god... I can't believe we just left him like that," Kelly squeaked, a few tears actually forming in her eyes. "W-We weren't resocialized... we're not convicts for fuck sakes! We should have been better than that!"
"Easy, Kelly... it'll be alright... he died protecting his men," Niles said in a comforting, though shattered tone, patting her on the shoulder. "It's how he'd want to go..."
She gave an incredulous laugh. "That's bullshit! We were selfish! We were fucking selfish! All we're doing now is trying to comfort ourselves!"
Stenson's eyes narrowed at that.
"Then let's fucking do something about it!" he growled, before gripping an assault rifle off the wall and cocking it. "Come on! Let’s go hunt that little bastard down! He hunted us, so we'll return the fucking favor!"
"Stenson.... no. We're down to three men. Our mission is a fucking bust, let's... let's just get back to orbit," Niles sighed, his tired eyes growing more and moreso by the second. "We'll need to report what happened."
"We need to do something though... we have to..." Stenson said, in what was nearly a whimper.
Kelly took a deep breath, turning towards the now not-so green horn marine, a small tear running down her cheek. "He's right, Stenson... we didn't stand a chance with four... how can we make do with three?"
And then, suddenly, a voice called from out of the open door of the troop bay...
The voice of a ghost.
"Now, what's this about you lot not wantin' to avenge me?! Shame on you! Shame! I aughta haunt your asses to Korhal and back!"
The trio of marines snapped so quickly towards the origin of it their metallic feet nearly created sparks, their mouths parting in absolute awe.
"S-Sarge?" Stenson said, beginning to walk towards him along with his fellow troops.
He cracked a grin in return, lighting another cigar. "Yeah, betcha you were hopin' ya saw the last of me, weren't ya-"
He was interrupted as Kelly tossed her arms around him in a hug.
"Oi, Jesus Christ! " he said, giving a hearty laugh and dropping the cancer stick. "When did you lot get so sentimental? Ya been forgettin' to take your standard Dominion asshole pills?!"
At that, Kelly gave an embarrassed giggle as she unwrapped her arms from him, throwing a salute. "H-Heh. My apologies, sir."
"Eh, it's alrigh', really," he said, still laughing. "Believe me, I'm happy I'm alive too!"
"How the fuck... how the fuck did he get away from that thing?" Niles said, his cold, baffled face giving way to a warm smile.
The sergeant smiled. "Probably gonna be the question of the hour, isn't it?"
"B-But sarge," Stenson gasped. "Seriously! How did you-"
"Escape?" he said, chuckling while his eyebrows raised so high they nearly cleared his scalp. "Well uh... let's just say the official story is going to be I beat that damned thing to death with my fists..."
Kelly's eyes widened. "Wait... official story? What's the unofficial one?! What could be crazier than that?!"
"Oh lord," the sarge said, shaking his head incredulously as he made his way to the dropship... and not even bothering to pick up his cigar. "I'm not even sure if I want to tell it..."
"Oh come on, this sounds way too good!" Niles grinned, his face filled with more mirth than it had been all month.
"I dunno... when I tell ya, you're going to start thinkin' that I'm just tryin' to be modest."
"Pleeeeeease, sarge," Kelly said, giving him puppy-dog eyes.
The sergeant facepalmed. "Oh bloody.. god damnit, I hate when you do that," he groaned, before taking a deep breath and rolling his eyes. "Fine..." he continued, raising a finger. “But seriously, I don't want you blokes sayin' a damned thing to anyone else when I do, cus if ya do, they might start thinkin' I'm a nut."
"Our lips are sealed!"
"You got it sarge!"
At that, the group of marines then merrily made their way back into to the dropship, stopping short of skipping, as the sergeant began to tell his amazing tale. And though they may have not have completed their mission, it felt nearly as good as if they had.
Still, before the door closed, the sergeant took one last glance out of it, a massive, red sun setting on the horizon.
"One day ya little runt," he said, chuckling. "One day, the Dominion's gonna be here in force..."
He paused, letting loose a sigh.
"But when that day comes... I hope that neither of us run into each other again..."
...
And of course, his sentimental moment was then broken.
"Ehehe... er yeah, guys," Stenson said sheepishly, gazing at a few of his suit's readings. "I'm definitely gonna' need to change my suit's piss filter."
"Oh Jesus Christ, I knew it!” Niles cackled, nearly rolling around on the ground in laughter. "I totally knew it!"
"God damnit, Stenson," the sergeant chuckled.
☼☼☼
As the Terran Dropship rocketed back into the heavens towards an orbiting stealth ship (yes, one the Zerg knew was there), a certain zergling gave a cackle as he galloped back towards the Hive that was his home.
"Haha, Terrans can be such sissies sometimes," he thought, continuing to gallop merrily along the blackened fields.
However, suddenly, he came to a screeching halt, squinting.
Giving a sigh, he turned and gave the dropship one last glance.
"But seriously... you don't have to go home... but you can't... stay... here."
☼☼☼
My little zergling...
My little zergling...
Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh....
My little zergling!
I've always wondered what slavery could be!
My little zergling!
Then the Overmind came and showed me!
Assimilation,
Is tons of fun!
Infesting the hearts,
Of those who are strong!
Sharing worlds,
Is not how we keep,
The hive so awesome and complete!
My little zergling!
The lives you know will soon be at end!
YAYYYYYYYY!
...
"YOU REQUIRE ADDITIONAL VESPENE GAS!"
Er, right after we mine more gas... FOR THE SWARM!
☼☼☼
"Devouring One... Two-Six-Two..." a low, perpetually angry, but distinctively female voice echoed.
He stood upon a large, mass of living, pulsating matter, the interior of a Zerg hive. The walls dripped with disgusting liquid, and seemed to be 'breathing' like the floor was, as veins filled with a blue substance ran up and down them. However, this was nothing if not soothing to most sentient Zerg. Only in the dark corner of the hive was something…. or someone that truly unnerved him, her with a pair of glowing, predatory, yellow eyes.
Though naturally, they wouldn't stop him from speaking his mind.
"Er, actually, I kind of gave myself a name," he thought.
Of course, he couldn't speak like the being could, her having the right vocal chords and mouth structure to be able to communicate like a Terran, though they could still chat telepathically.
"Digger!"" he thought enthusiastically, grinning. "Sounds pretty cool, right!? You know, since I'm... well... really good at burrowing and stuff! Yeah, I know, not the most creative, but it-"
"SILENCE!" the being roared with a nearly demonic-like distortion, the zergling actually feeling a ripple of anger coming from her. “You… are nothing but a drone. You don’t have a name. You have no personality. You have no purpose but to serve me…"
"Err... right. Anything you say, ma'm," he said cheekily, before continuing to think, "but if she didn't want me to have a personality, why have I been able to develop one...? Why would Brood Mother-"
"I can hear those thoughts of yours, you fool!" the being shouted, the zergling immediately shutting his mouth, sweat-dropping. "And I don't know why the Brood Mother saw fit to give you such an unneeded 'asset', but she has, and the damage is done. Though I'm still going to have a word with her later."
Her piercing, yellow eyes then narrowed.
"And let it be known that the only reason you're still alive is because of your experience..."
"Oh, admit it! You find me charming! I mean, it's not like you have anyling else to talk to frequently since that Duran guy went and ran off..."
"Yes..." she sighed, though still glaring daggers at him. "But Duran's chatter was actually intellectually stimulating. Yours... is not."
"What? Do you want to talk philosophy or something? Ooo, I can totally do that! What came first? The Mutalisk or the egg-"
"RAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHH!"
At that, the zergling's eyes widened as what could be described as a gust of wind leapt forth like an angry lion from the being, sending him crashing into the hive wall. Luckily though, their squishy selves made great padding, and he slowly slid back down to the pulsating floor, unharmed.
And yet, despite his punishment, the zergling could not refrain from being a smartass.
"Really gotta see someone about that temper of yours... though I hear counting to ten works, you know-"
"Do you want another demonstration of it?" she hissed.
The zergling 'gulped.'
"Nope."
"Good... then maybe you'll shut up and listen to me for a second."
The zergling then took a deep breath. "I'm all... strange hole things I have for ears," he smirked.
The being narrowed her eyes again. "Do you realize how much I hate you?"
The zergling's smirk widened as he wagged his tail in delight. "Oh, we both know hate is just a much more fun form of love..."
"That doesn't even make sense," the being grumbled. "Now shut up, please, before I kill you and find another assassin up for the task..."
The zergling lifted an eyebrow. "Huh? Assassin? Task?"
"That's right..." she growled. "You see, the mission I sent you on today was just a test... one another Zerg wouldn't have performed in the way you did..."
The zergling's eyes widened. "Hey! Don't blame me for not killing them! They seemed like such nice people, well despite the fact they were pointing guns at me and nearly shot my tail off.... but still-"
"I never said you failed in your task, you idiot," she snapped, before taking a deep breath. "You were created to be somewhat of a pacifist... for where you're going, I can't have you killing everything you set your sights on like any other Zerg would... all except for one being, of course..."
Digger raised an eyebrow. "Huh? What being? What are you talking about?" He then gave a shiver, his eyes widening in horror. "Wait! I'm not going to Korhal right?! To try to take out Mengsk!? I mean, four marines is one thing, but they have so many guns and battlecruisers and Thors that could stomp me into..."
"SHUT. THE HELL. UP!" the being shrieked, with such a force of telekinetic wind it nearly teared up Digger’s eyes. "You're not going to Korhal..." she said, her voice going back to its calm, low, grumble. As if the being perpetually had a stick up her-
"You're going to a newly discovered world, actually... one of more value than that nuked desert Mengsk calls home, as suitable as it may be for a cockroach..." she hissed, with more hatred than Digger had ever felt coming from her upon the word ‘Mengsk.’
Before his eyes, what could be called a holographic image of a beautiful planet appeared. A world of green, lush forests, of blue, beautiful oceans, and one that uh… had a star... orbiting it...?
What. The fuck?
"Uh... I don't know much about astronomy," Digger said, lifting an eyebrow, before squinting in thought for a second. "Well, actually, I don't know much about anything sept... Zerg rushing.” He then cleared his ‘throat.’ “But I do know... uh... isn't the planet supposed to orbit the star?"
"How astute. You really do have twenty more IQ points than the average zergling," the being said sarcastically. "But yes, that would be the case... if this world were in a universe that obeyed our laws of physics."
Digger's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
"Mph," she said. "I don't feel I should need to explain myself to you, but I might as well." She then cleared her throat, as a holographic image of a wormhole appeared instead of the planet. "Ten months ago, a Leviathan encountered this anomaly outside the Chau Sara system. It is a wormhole, and a rare one at that. It was likely created during a battle between the Terrans and Tassadar's ill fated expedition: probably when one of their ship's warp matrixes was ruptured."
"Warp matrix. Wormholes. Confusing Technobabble. Gotcha," Digger said, nodding. He then smiled slightly, however. ”Hey! I know who that Tassadar guy is though-"
Without even bothering to try to shut him up this time, the being continued with, "The wormhole leads to a pocket dimension that lies within the same 'sheet' as that portion of our universe. Though it may only be the size of a pea from our perspective, it's nothing we can touch... without going inside it."
Digger's eyes widened in horror. "Am I going to be... shrunken or something? Cus I didn't think we had a shrink ray lying around, nor that those things even-"
"No, you idiot! Pay attention!" she snapped. "The wormhole leads to the pocket dimension, and though normally these places are filled with nothing; somehow, a single solar system exists inside it, with just one star... one moon... and one planet. And do you want to take a guess as to what's on that planet?"
"Uh... a Xel'Naga temple! Wait, no... a Xel'Naga temple filled with... chocolate pudding!"
The glowing eyes rolled. "Something far worse than the Xel'Naga..." she hissed, another wave of anger coming from her... and perhaps... a bit of envy. "It's filled with... ponies. Sentient. Ponies. Those very much like you would find on the my... I mean... the Terran homeworld of Earth. Though they have distinct differences."
The hologram of the wormhole flickered to an image of a purple pony with a small little tattoo on her flank.
Digger's eyes widened in delight, his tail beginning to wag again. "Hey! She has a pretty cool uh... what do the Terran call them(?)... tattoo! Looks like a group of stars!"
"Ignore that... note the protrusion on her head," she stated, Digger quickly glancing in curiosity at a horn-like entity sprouting from her forehead.
"So wait... she has a horn? What's the big deal? Is she good at stabbing people with it?" He then gave a shiver. "Cus I don't like being stabbed..."
"It is much more than a melee weapon..." the yellow-eyed entity grunted in annoyance. "That... 'horn'... is capable of producing a powerful energy force capable of space-time manipulation that rivals even that of the Protoss. Some would even call it... magic."
"Pffff.... I can do magic," Digger grumbled. "Just get me a deck of cards and I'll blow your friggin' mind-"
"Not... that kind of magic," she said, her tone now less aggressive than desperate and defeated, almost as she wanted nothing more than to end this meeting now...
Which is just what Digger wanted.
Seriously, she was such a bitch. In fact, that was her self-used title: 'Queen Bitch of the Universe.' Though she only used it when she was being all cool and stuff and talking down to aliens. Still, he made it his game to see just how angry he could make her before she actually decided to kill him, and that was something he could sense might happen any second now.
However, despite this, he actually gave a sigh, deciding he'd try to be more serious the rest of the meeting. For despite the fact his master was a loathsome being, he still couldn't help but feel this powerful, overwhelming need to please her in any way he could.
... And no, not in that way you sick bastards.
You know who you are.
"Sorry," Digger said.
"Then show me there wasn't a mistake in your brain development and stop acting so foolish," she hissed, her eyes narrowing yet again, before she continued with:
"As I was saying, they are naturally adept with psionic powers... or something similar at least, at levels that rival the Protoss."
Digger squinted in thought for the briefest second, before his eyes widened in realization.
"...You want to... assimilate them all, don't you? Into the swarm..."
He could just feel her smirking. "Yes... yes I do. I want to make every last one of them my own." Another wave of anger soon washed over him, as the hologram flickered to a view of a happy little town, many different types of the pony creatures frolicking about it.
"Awwwwww..." Digger cooed. "They're almost as cute as Terran children... before they grow up and start pointing guns at you…"
"Yes… and do you want to know what? I hate them so… so much," the being said bluntly, ignoring his comment for the most part. "I hate them more than anything I've ever hated before. If I were so foolish, I'd send in an invasion force right now and pummel them to the ground without even bothering to add their genetics to the swarm. I'd have them ripped apart limb by overly-joyful limb. I'd have them boiled alive in the fires of Char. The scream of one of them would be louder and more potent than all the souls of Tarsonis consumed... all the souls of Auir...."
Oh yeah, and she was more than just a bitch, she was also fucking crazy... and evil, too... Really. Really. Fucking. Evil.
Fucking.
Evil.
"W-Why do you hate them so much?" Digger squeaked, now actually trembling at the amount of rage he could feel coming from her.
"Because envy... is a powerful emotion... and one of the few I can still feel..." she said, before taking a deep breath. "Do you know what life was like growing up for me... even as part of one of the richer families on Tarsonis?" she asked.
Digger's eyes widened. She never opened up to anyone. EVER. As far as he knew, she didn't even care about her past... but it seemed he was wrong. And you know what? When she began to elaborate, he actually began to have a bit of sympathy for her.
"It was hell..." she answered, not even waiting for a response. Though perhaps she could just sense the answer was 'yes'.
"The Confederates made it so. I was abducted... placed in the ghost program, for the 'good of the people.' Without consent or any whim of my own, tears streaming down my face as I was dragged away. And this... is something common in Terran society. This sort of bastard-run bullshit. And that was even before Mengsk's betrayal... and the Overmind's 'gift' he gave me." She then glared towards the hologram. "However, these ponies... they know nothing about that. They live lives of happiness without a care in the world..."
He then felt something like a 'shudder' coming from her, a deep, spiteful... shudder.
"I want them... to suffer... to feel what the rest of us feel..." she said in a low, deadly serious tone.
And yep... there went the sympathy, like a bit of dust in the wind, as the being gave a grunt and continued with:
"However, I am not foolish enough to invade them right off hand and torture them all to death. I have a better plan in mind, one that concerns your target."
"Sweeeeet... always wanted to go to a planet filled with Protoss wannabes to try to take out a high-ranking target who would likely be able to blast me into zergling dust...” Digger groaned. ”And probably still look cute while doing it, too."
"You will not be killed if you do your job right," she grumbled. "And your target is far less than cute... in fact, she's probably the one I hate the least... though her death is essential to my plans."
The hologram flickered to that of another type of pony, this one looking a bit more Zergish, actually. She had all the works of creepydom: insect-like wings, hole-filled legs, (Digger didn't even want to know how they evolved those sort of things...), and a scowl on her face that could rival her's who gazed upon him right now.
"This... is Queen Chrysalis," the voice hissed. "And I want her dead within ten moon rises."
...
...
...
EVIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!.!.!.!.!
'Rauuuuuuuugggghhh.....'
...
'For the hive!'
...
'Find... infest... merge... find... infest... merge...'
...
'Do you ever wonder if we’re all alone out here- *ACK ACK*!'
...
'For I am the Queen of Blades... and nobody shall ever contest my ru-'
...
'I will not be stopped. Not by you - *RAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGH!.!.!** - not by the Protoss, not anyone! I will - I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE HER DOWN - rule this sector or see it burnt to-'*
...
'Ashes to ashes... dust to dust... why is blood all that you lust?'
...
'You are your own worst enemy...'
...
...
...
'Hmmm... Surprise, surprise, and I'm not saying this sarcastically. It appears the world *is** inhabited, my queen. Interesting... high potential for valuable additions to the swarm. Type-23 psionic potential... if it can even be called that. We’re going to need some new… classifications.'*
'Study them closer, then. Get a better microscope if you must.'
...
'New secondary threat identified. A low-level partial hive-minded society in Eastern Hemisphere. Species known as: changeling....'
...
'Well that's a bit strange...'
'What is it, Duran?'
'This dimension... this world... is unlike anything I've ever seen... there is a quality to it that-'
...
'Do continue, Duran. You've actually piqued my interest.'
...
'Hang on, stand by....‘
’Hmmmm?’
...
‘Two native species have just entered conflict with each other... a full-scale assault on city identified as Canterlot. I can't believe this... the changelings, they literally feed off the concept of love!'
'By that you mean they feed off certain hormones, correct?'
'No, my queen. You would... not understand. I do not understand it myself. The usual laws of what we know... they are no longer laws here. They are merely playthings for these creatures. The powers they control... the powers they are subjugated to are... baffling, to say the least. They are outside the plan.'
'It does not matter what they are. Do you believe they are worth the effort to bring into the swarm? And if so, will they be able to use their powers in the regular universe? Could we make them our own?'
'I believe so... at least many of them, perhaps. I will need further time for study.
'There *is** no more time... I need you at my side. The UED has launched full-scale assault on our outlying sectors. I need an... inside look of them if I am to repel it.'*
...
'Are you sure you need me that badly? I would consider it a personal favor to be able to- well, let's just say that I have never been so... intrigued... by any world before. Primitive though it may be called.'
'I admire your dedication, Duran, but do not forget your place. I will have Daragoth handle this regard until further notice.'
...
'Of course..... my queen.'
...
'Find... infest... merge... find... infest... merge...'
...
...
...
'RAUUUUUUGH!* Damnit, Daragoth! I will not be stopped by she who simply calls herself a deity! 'Goddess' by title or not, she is just flesh and blood in the end! That which she cannot see... she cannot harm! And I will especially not be thwarted by some pathetic little bug!'*
'If you say so, my queen, but it would be beneficial to-'
'I do say so. And I mean it! Your subjects, your entire world will belong to the swarm, Celestia. And I won't even need to lay but two fingers on it. For your sake, I hope you're a bit more... faithful to one of your ‘faithful’ students than she has been to you!'
☼☼☼
With a gasp, Queen Chrysalis jettisoned upward out of bed, her eyes widened in horror, as sweat dripped down upon her sheets. Panting, she shook her head in a daze, the strange thoughts that had been running through her mind all night haunting both her dreams and her waking moments. She then glanced about her sparse quarters, half-expecting to see... something... something that simply belong there or anywhere, sitting with her in the darkness.
Though to her relief, there was nothing, all except a voice that soon made itself known.
"Are you alright, my queen?" it chimed, the wall that was her doorway slowly folding open to reveal a tiny slit to the outer hallways.
Chrysalis shook her head, though despite this, she found herself saying the opposite of what her gesture indicated.
“Yes... I'm fine...” she said slowly. “Just a strange dream."
Into her quarters walked the guard of her bedroom, not much different looking than her other changelings, though it didn't matter much thanks to the specific pheromone each emitted. And unfortunately for her, this was one of the smarter... and nosier ones.
"Sure didn't feel like any regular ole' strange dream. And you've been having a lot of those lately," the changeling said, perking an eyebrow.
Chrysalis rolled her eyes, echoing forth a groan. "Sarius... I told you before, and I will tell you again: I love you, but please mind your own business."
Sarius cracked a smirk.
"If God wanted us to mind our own business, he wouldn't have given the changelings linked minds."
Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, a blank look upon her. "And that might as well be proof that God isn't a lady. Seriously, Sarius, just because you can sense my emotions doesn't mean you need to be playing knight in shining armor every five seconds."
Sarius gave an indignant huff, a stoic, dutiful look coming upon him. "I'm your personal guard, though! It is my solemn duty to investigate any matters that could perturb my queen, including emotional troubles, and it is a duty I intend to perform until the bitter-"
Chrysalis quickly put on a conniving grin, grabbing a hand-full of hundred-piece coins off her night stand and tossing them to the changeling guard. He quickly caught them with a bit of magic.
"How about you go investigate what type of ponies they have hanging in the love bar tonight? Maybe you'll be lucky and get one of the more... saturated ones."
Sarius glanced at the coins... then at Chrysalis... and then back at the coins.
"Well... I guess I could perform my task more diligently if I'm fed..." he said, smiling slightly, before scurrying out of her bedroom, mirth filling his voice as he called,
"Thanks, my queen! I'll be back in a flash!"
"Yep... sure... uh huh," Queen Chrysalis chuckled.
Without the distraction, her mind was turning back to the strange voices that had been filling her dreams. Sure, she could hear the thoughts of her changelings most of the time; when they opened their minds, they became her's whether they wanted it or not, it being one the oh-so 'beneficial' abilities she had under her belt compared to the others of her kind. However, the thoughts that she had been hearing in her dreams... they were chaotic, unorganized... uncontrolled... except for one. A cruel, tormented voice that seemed to be filled with nothing but unleaded spite.
'Damnit, Daragoth! I will *not** be stopped by she who simply calls herself a deity! 'Goddess' by title or not, she is just flesh and blood in the end! That which she cannot see... she cannot harm!'*
"Celestia," Chrysalis whispered, taking another deep, haunted breath. "This is the third night in a row I've sensed both of us were in danger..."
At that, she glanced somewhat reluctantly at the small orb-like device sitting upon a pedestal in the center of her room. It was called a Proloquor Orb, a communication device. And with it, she could speak with any of the major governing bodies on the planet.
Chrysalis gave a grunt of annoyance. Perhaps, for once, it was time to use it. Something had been eating at her the past few days, something that was crying for her to act... to repay a little of the debt she owed the princess who sat upon a golden throne miles and miles away...
"Mph," she huffed, glaring at the orb. "Do I dare?"
'It does not matter what they are. Do you believe they are worth the effort to bring into the swarm? And if so, will they be able to use their powers in the regular universe? Could we make them our own?'
Chrysalis sighed heavily, her eyes closing. "I don't want to... but I can feel there is something bigger going on... bigger than my pride..."
Suddenly, her eyes narrowed in resolve.
"Yes. You know what? It’s time we speak as equals once more.” She then smiled ever-so-slightly. “Who dares? I dare."
A second later, her horn began glowing a bright green, a beam of light cascading out of it and into the Proloquor Orb.
"Volo loqui cuim Celestia," Chrysalis chanted, still with a heavy amount of reluctance saturating her tone. "Volo loqui cuim Celestia!"
A second later, the orb began glowing a bright white, forcing Chrysalis to shield her eyes. And to her horror, when it finally died down, the scowling face of the last person she wanted to speak to could be seen within it.
"How dare you!" it growled angrily, its eyes glowing a bright, menacing white almost as bright as the orb had been. "How dare you call so soon after-"
"Princess Luna," Chrysalis said, doing all she could to force her disagreement with having to speak with this certain pony princess out of her tone. "It's nice to see you too, but would you mind if we skipped the usual pleasantries?" A concerned look quickly came upon her, however. "B-But w-wait a minute... so soon after what?” Chrysalis gulped. “Is Princess Celestia alright?"
Luna gave a sarcastic, bitter laugh. "No, she's not alright, not thanks you you! You tyrannical, conniving, backstabbing bi-"
Chrysalis sighed in relief. "Good, I thought something had happened to her… other than her still being angry with me, that is.”
"You're damned right she is! After all the hard work she did trying to make sure your people were well, you turn around and launch some evil, hate-filled assault directly on top of our heads! And don't say it was out of desperation either, because from what everypony said, you ENJOYED IT! I would be in my right mind to pay the Hanging Islands a little visit and return the favor!"
"Luna," Chrysalis said in a force-calmed tone, her eye twitching slightly. "I know you and I haven't been on good terms lately, but please. Tell me, where is Celestia? For I have much a desire to speak with her."
"That's Princess Celestia, Chrysalis! Or does her title mean nothing to you along side of her feelings?!"
"Luna!" Chrysalis suddenly snapped, the night princess closing her mouth, trading her words with a glare. "As I've told your sister before... I regret my attack on Canterlot. I really do. I was desperate, not thinking straight... I gave into a side of me that-"
"I do NOT want to hear it!" Luna roared. "You are nothing but a creature built for deception, whether it be through words or physical form!"
Chrysalis shook her head, bringing a hoof up to rub her throbbing temples.
"Fine. You know what? You're right,” she said in a defeated tone. “I deceive people... I use people... but sometimes, on a blue moon, I might actually care for them!" she growled, though a second later, she began to sag her head slightly. "But it doesn't matter what I say, does it? Obviously you're not going to let me talk with her…"
"You're right! I'm not! And either way, she's sleeping right now, for if you haven't noticed, the moon is up!" Luna growled. "And she has little time to deal with bugs she might as well be squashing under her hooves!"
Chrysalis closed her eyes, taking a deep, patient breath. "Then please, if you would: relay a message for me," she said, before gulping slightly. "I've been having strange dreams lately that make me question her safety... and it’s not the first time I’ve had them…"
"Oh, you've been having bad dreams, huh?" Luna said in mock-sympathy, still glaring daggers at her. "Good! I'm glad to see karma hasn't abandoned us-"
"Listen to me, please!" Chrysalis practically begged, anger now growing ever-apparent in her tone. "You are the Princess of the Night. Open your mind to the heavens. Can you sense anything… that shouldn't belong there?"
Luna gave a sarcastic laugh. "What are you saying, exactly?!"
"I'm not sure," Chrysalis sighed, shaking her head, before collecting herself ever-so-slightly. "I just have a feeling that both Celestia and I are in danger by... something... something that just doesn't belong here."
Luna then rolled her eyes, steam blowing out of her snout. "I have little time for vague assumptions brought upon by dreams. I can go into dreams after all, and if it settles you any: half of the bad, recurring ones are simply brought upon by stress... which, might I add, I'm glad you're feeling."
At that, however, her voice calmed itself slightly before she continued with,
"You have a terrible one, it haunts you through the day, and because you fear it you end up having it again. It is a cycle that can only be broken in time."
"This isn't a normal dream, though," Chrysalis continued, holding up a hoof. "I can hear... voices... conversations I've never heard before! They speak about our world as if they are looking down upon it. They want something with us... all of us."
A shiver ran up her spine, as she continued with,
"There is something going on... something beyond what we can see... that is bigger than you and me."
Princess Luna put on a blank look. "Uh-huh... sure..." She then gave a grunt. "Look, please call back when you have something legitimate to talk about aside from 'aliens are about to invade', because that's what you're saying, right?" She then put on a wicked, sarcastic smirk. "Or better yet, why not call back to announce you're never calling back again! That'd be nice!" Shen then gave a huff, looking away from the orb. "Good eventide!"
The orb blinked off, as Chrysalis stamped an angry hoof, her eye beginning to twitch again.
"Ugh! That ignorant, stupid, moon-loving, hypocritical bitch!" she roared, beginning to pace angrily about her quarters. "She yells at me for hurting her sister, yet this is only a year or so after she tried to bring about eternal night! Sure, it may not have been her fault the second time, but the first.-"
She halted in her pacing, before closing her eyes and sighing sorrowfully,
"Her envy got the best of her..."
She then plopped down upon her flank, sulking her head.
"I guess that makes two of us, Luna. Who's the real hypocrite here?"
☼☼☼
In high orbit, Digger sat within one of the many air-tight orifices of the Behemoth, it having entered the wormhole just three days prior. Other than running into a Protoss ship that quickly fled at the sight of them, and a slight scare when they thought there had might have been a Terran stealth ship near the wormhole as well, their journey had been uneventful. Oh, and best of all: H-Dawg had stayed shut the fuck up most of the whole trip!
Apparently he was in hibernation… or maybe the Behemoth itself had grown tired with his dribble and had jettisoned him into the vacuum. Oh, wouldn't that have been nice? Though unfortunately, the dreams of mice and Zerg weren't so fortunate, for if that was true, Digger would have heard it.
As he waited to be dropped upon the world via an organic, atmosphere-resistant pod, he busied himself assimilating information the Behemoth was willing to give him about the planet, as well as his rather interesting target...
'This day has been just perfect,
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small...
'You do realize the reception's been cancelled, don't you?'
'We will not be stopped! Every pony in Canterlot will belong to us! We deserve this! We have suffered too long to simply starve to death because of petty ignorance, racism, and hate! We will take this city, or see it burned to ashes around us!'
'As queen of the changelings, it is my job to feed my people. And Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered!'
'It's funny, really. Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along! Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct!
Needless to say, she was a conflicted being, or at least from what it seemed. The memories taken from Zerg scouts were just so sporadic. Though still, in the end, this... Queen Chrysalis, might have not have been a leg up from his master. Sure, she seemed to care about her people more, but the way she treated her enemies... it was despicable. Almost as hate-filled as the Queen of Blades.
It was funny, really. It was no wonder that she hated this creature less than the rest. They were two peas in the same horrible little pod.
That actually gave him a sense of relief, to be honest. Perhaps he wouldn't feel so guilty about eliminating this target... though he wanted to see more, first. He was going to make his new conscience as peaceful as possible with this assassination mission, even if he had to go out of the way to do it.
However, at that, a strange, but familiar-sounding thought came to him, one that he did not want to hear.
'Who's the real hypocrite here...
Digger squinted an eyebrow. 'Hmmmm?'
It couldn't have been Chrysalis, could it? He knew she was part of a hive-minded species, but Zerg could only sense each other's thoughts when they were in close proximity with each other, save for the most powerful among them, like his queen. But the voice... it sounded just like his target’s.
Digger gave an annoyed huff. If it was her, she seemed to be a conflicted being indeed, at least from what it seemed. Though he would like to see that for himself. For all he knew, Kerrigan was just feeding him disinformation through the Behemoth to confuse him about the target. Make her look like a bitch, but with a hint of a sympathetic side in order to keep him from suspecting it.
At that, however, a strange feeling then came to him, one he could not explain. It was almost like he was looking forward to heading down to the odd, magical world below.
Digger sighed as he made his way from the massive, pulsating building that was his master's primary Hive. It was a beautiful day for Char standards. Horrible monstrosities filled the sky. Hellish creatures scurried and slithered all about the living, veiny, and gak-like floor that was zerg creep, it stretching about for miles upon miles. All was right in the horrible hell hole that was Digger's world. That was pretty much all Char was after all, one big ole' ball of creep and lava. And it wasn't looking like it was changing any time soon.
Though still, as evidenced by the look in the young zergling's eyes, even something that may have seemed 'right' didn't always mean it wasn't something that was boring the living crap out of him. Seriously. He didn't know how his master put up with it. There was absolutely nozerg around to make conversation with except for her evil, bitchy self.
Digger wouldn't be picky with it, either. He didn't need any deep conversation or even some funny character to keep him occupied. A simple conversation with any Zerg would have been fine.
'Man, the heat sure is horrible and skin blistering today, isn't it?'
’Indubitably, good Zerg. It really brings out the features of our disgusting, pulsating Hive Cluster, doesn't it?'
'Cheerio.'
'Hehe... indubitably,' Digger chuckled. 'I wish I could get a monocle and start wearing it around... maybe with a top hat, too. Oh man, I bet Kerry would get so pissed if I started talking like an upper-class stag!'
Trolling the Queen Bitch until the end; that was really his only goal in life. Because really, want to take a look at the minds of the nearby Zerg? The only thing that really went through them was this:
'Awaiting orders... awaiting orders... awaiting orders...'
And that was literally it. The only other thing he could hear was his master bitching at them or 'For the Hive!', 'Ack Ack!', or the occasional 'Raaaaauggggghhhhh...' Even the infested Terrans seemed to only have about five to six things to ‘say’.
'Ready to serve!'
'For the hive!'
'Ready to chill out!'
'Sacrifice me!'
Bunch of damned communists. For real, why couldn't Kerrigan give them intelligence? Would that be too much for her to handle? All those thoughts questioning their single-minded goal to kill and assimilate?
Meh, probably.
God damned control freak.
However, there was one other mind he could hear, though come to think of it, he'd rather just listen to static chatter. At least that was amusing for about five minutes. However, this mind was a whole different ball game. A ball game where foul balls would smash into your face every five seconds. Usually, it went something like this:
'Gotta douche fast!
Gotta douche fast!
Gotta douche faster faster faster-faster-faster!
Douching at the speed of sound,
Biggest douchebag around,
Got ourself a situation...'
And you get the picture. Though alright, maybe that wasn't really what went through his mind, but it might as well have been. You see, there was one being on Char Digger hated more than the Queen of Blades. His name was 'H-Dawg the Hunter Killer', and he was a huge douchebag, and naturally, one who just happened to be slithering towards Digger right now.
'Yo little Digglet. How's it hangin', chief?' he heard him 'say', that meaning he heard a thought directed at him.
His massive form then came into sight. He was a monstrous being: a hydralisk nearly five times his size, with massive scythe-like arms that could likely rip a fully-suited marine in half with one swing. To make matters worse, they seemed to be attached to what might as well have been a body made of scales and muscle.
One that could shoot poison venom spines up to twenty meters away.
Yep. Bottom line: you'd probably be better off playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver than fucking with a Hunter Killer.
'Er... hi H-Dawg. How's it goin?' Digger asked politely.
'Not bad, hombre, just got done killin' another Terran scouting party,' he said... with this fucking shit-eating, condescending smirk on his face that made Digger want to hop into a nearby pool of lava. 'Hahaha! Oh man, you should have seen the look on their commander's face when I ripped his fucking head off. He looked like such a bitch!'
Yep, what he got in bulk he lost in brains. That was really his only weakness. A big, glaring weakness almost as large as his ego.
'Yes, because I'm sure looking stoic is the first thing on someone's mind when they're about to die,' Digger snarked under his 'breath.'
'What was that, chief?' H-Dawg grunted, slithering towards him with a menacing look on his face. 'You aint' bein' smart with me, right? Cus you know, I heard you pussied out again today!'
'Screw off, dude. I was *made** to be a pacifist,'* Digger growled.
H-Dawg gave a glare. 'Pffft, yeah right. That's just an excuse. You're just a big chicken, that's why. Don't want to get your talons bloody.'
Digger took a deep breath at that. 'Yeah, you know what? You’re absolutely right. I am scared to end entire existences just because some voice in my head is telling me to. And you know what's funny? From what I hear about Terrans, when *they** have a voices in their heads telling them to kill people it usually means they’re insane.’*
'Better watch that attitude of yours when you're around me, chief. Our master can always make another one of you,' H-Dawg snapped, prodding a nervous Digger with one of his claws. Though it wasn’t long before his shit-eating grin came back upon his face. 'But yeah. Aren't you wondering why I've stopped by?'
'More like wondering when you were going to leave...' Digger muttered.
The hydralisk prodded him again. 'Huh? You being smart again, chief?'
Ugh! And why did he always call him chief!? He wasn't leader of any tribe! Digger didn't find himself to be a condescending zergling, either... well... only if somezerg was being condescending to him first, that was.
'Er, I mean, I was just wondering... when I get to leave!" Digger forced out. 'I just got this new mission and everything to a whole new planet!'
'You mean when do *we** leave,'* H-Dawg grinned.
Digger's eyes widened in horror.
Oh no. Oh god no. NONONONONO!
H-Dawg nodded again. 'That's right! We're takin' the same Behemoth to that gay little pony planet!'
Righto. It was time to make a break for it. Though still, he had to decide which way to end it. A lava pool would be nice... though it could be kind of a painful death. Or maybe he could just troll H-Dawg until he decided to slice him in half. The best case scenario is he could take the prick's ego with him....
'Though naturally, the Queen of Blades gave me the cooler mission,' H-Dawg thought, smirking. 'You see, I'm not taking out some pansy changeling queen. I'm taking down the REAL heavy hitter of their planet!'
'Huh? Digger said, raising an eyebrow.
'Princess. Friggin'. Celestia,' he said boastfully, his grin widening. ’The leader of the most powerful nation on their planet.'
Digger raised his eyebrows. 'How the hell do you think you're going to do that? You'll get-‘
He paused, noticing H-Dawg had suddenly vanished.
'Uh… hey, where did you go?'
Did he scurry off somewhere? At that thought, Digger smiled in glee. Thank all that was holy-
'Pffffft! Hahahaha' a voice rang out of nowhere, H-Dawg suddenly reappearing right in front of him as Digger’s hope was shattered. 'Sometimes I don't think you're as smart as you think you are, you know. But that's alright, I didn't think you'd know about my camouflage ability. It's saved only for the top killers amongst our bitchin' little swarm,' he said smugly.
Please get killed. Please get killed. Please get killed...
'Errr... congratulations?' Digger said, shrugging.
He honestly didn't know why anyzerg would be happy about having to take down a priority target like that. It'd almost most certainly end in death, and considering H-Dawg was put on the task, his survival rating would probably be around the same as a spider in a fumigation spray factory staffed with arachnophobes.
In fact, he almost started feeling bad for H-Dawg, until:
'But that's alright, little Diglet. Cus when I finish with Princess Celestia, that's when the fun really begins! Whole-sale slaughter, baby! We'll be cutting through the pussy little ponies like a talon through butter! My rofl scythe goes slice slice slice slice slice slice-'
Oh good god. They were just innocent little ponies! Granted, he didn't know much about them yet. They could all be assholes for all he knew. But that just seemed... off. At least a lot of the Terrans he knew were assholes, if what his master was always saying was to be believed. The squad he had spared today being an exception. And even so, it wasn't his role to decide whether they deserved to be slaughtered with glee for that. And as for the Protoss... well, luckily, he had never encountered one of them before. He heard it usually ended with a lot of decapitations and zerg rushes turning into zerg skull piles.
Though still, he had to admit, at least they wouldn't be slaughtering all of the ponies, as H-Dawg seemed to think they would be. They'd be infesting them. And to be perfectly honest, so far, sentience didn't seem to be all that it was cracked up to be. Maybe they'd be better off in the swarm. For all he knew, maybe the Queen of Blades actually had the best intentions in mind for the Koprulu sector and knitted stockings on her free time. He couldn’t say anything for sure.
Ugh, so many philosophical conundrums, so little time... And honestly, Digger questioned whether he was given the brain power to be able to truly decide what was right or wrong. He mainly just went off instinct most of the time.
'So uh... do you know when we're leaving?' he asked, snapping himself out of his deep thinking.
'Hope you got your panties packed, chief! Cus the answer to that is right now!' the hydralisk beamed.
And suddenly, to Digger's widening eyes, from the below the tall cliff he was standing on roared the massive form of a Behemoth, it slowly rising into view. They were massive creatures, really, resembling praying mantis' to a degree, triangular in shape. However, unlike the tiny creatures of the Terran homeworld, these bastards could carry legions upon legions of Zerg to whatever worlds Kerrigan needed assimilated in order to make her feel better about herself.
Well, that's what Digger liked to think was her motivation. In the end, it was probably a ton more complex... but still bitchy. But anyway, he had to admit... the way the Behemoth had risen into view like that...
'Alright, that was pretty cool,' he admitted, before taking a deep deep breath, and turning back to a smirking H-Dawg. 'Well uh... let's go assimilate some ponies, shall we?'
'Pffft, the Queen of Blades can do the assimilating. I'll be doin' the skull-bashing. I wonder how many ponies I can kill on my lonesome before the invasion force lands!'
Digger gave a soft little moan to himself.
He hoped to god that H-Dawg would be sleeping the whole way. But he had to wonder: why were they going on such a big transport? A simple overlord probably would have sufficed.
That was until he climbed aboard, however... a thousand different voices filling his mind until he had the nerve to shut off its ability to hear them.
Yep, there were tens of thousands of Zerg already on it. It was likely that as soon as he carried out his mission, the invasion would commence immediately. This sent a strange mix of both a shiver and a sense of cooling relief through him. At least he wouldn't have to wait around feeling guilty for too long after taking out his target...
At that, H-Dawg and Digger then settled into two of the thousands of little holes on the living transport, ones that quickly sealed themselves shut. And soon after, they were making their way from Char and towards the Sara system.
☼☼☼
1.5 Light Years From Sara
Near-Interstellar Space
In the cockpit of a single, yellow long fighter craft sat a lone, dark-blue Protoss, her mind fixated on a number of readings her ship was sending her. Like most of her kin, the Dark Templar, she wore what could best be described as rags for clothing, something she didn't mind in the least. It was symbolic, reminding him that for the longest time, her people were those living on the edge, without the petty comforts the Protoss of the Conclave always seemed to 'need'. Besides, why wear fancy battle armor anyway when you could kill things from the shadows, and in comfortable freedom to boot!
Still though, despite the 'relaxing' nature of her mission, she would much rather be back on her homeworld of Shakurus, even if it was currently befallen with a massive amount of strife due to the reunification. At least it'd stop her from being so damned bored all the time. Really, the only things she had to do were:
- Study and keep track of the anomaly sitting before his ship. A swirling vortex of light: a wormhole apparently leading to a most unusual pocket dimension.
And:
- Relay intercepted transmissions from nearby Terran worlds to Shakurus if they contained interesting information.
Though still, the second job did give her a fun opportunity to gain a bit of cultural knowledge about the humans. And her favorite program to study Terran culture with would begin right about-
"En Taro Adun, Disciple Marion!" a voice suddenly filled her mind, his face appearing in it as well thanks to a neural-interface device her ship had.
Just the transmission she was totally not hoping for.
"Arent we saying En Taro Tassadar now?” she grumbled. ”Or is that just a thing everyone's doing because everyone else is doing it?"
The Protoss before her gave a blank look. "You speak as if you were a Terran. And as they would say, 'why do your protective under-garments appear to be discomforting you?'"
"Er, it's 'why are your panties in a bunch,'” she sighed. “But yeah, sorry... I'm just bored out of my skull is all."
The Praetor raised a suspicious eyebrow. "You're not mal-tempered because I am interrupting your viewing of that strange Terran television broadcast again, are you?"
"I told you, I was flipping through channels trying to find their news network!” she huffed. "And it just happened to be the one that uh... stuck online when you phoned. Yep."
"You have been lacking in contact with nothing other than Terran entertainment for too long," the Praetor grunted. "The next thing I know you'll be speaking in one of their ridiculous accents!"
"We'll, I ain't nothin' but a country girl at heart, ya hear lil' doggy?" Marion 'smirked' cheekily.
The Praetor rolled his eyes. "Well, if that's how you feel, perhaps I will extend your mission for another few cycle-"
"No!" Marion suddenly shouted. "Please... I'm sorry. I was just... as the humans say, 'messing around with you."
The Praetor actually gave an amused chuckle. "I believe that makes two of us. I would not keep you from your homeworld much longer, no matter how much ‘snark’ you feel fit to throw at me. Your replacement shall arrive within one cycle."
Marion couldn't be more relieved if she tried. "If I had lips, I'd kiss you, Praetor."
"Human intimacy... such a strange practice," the Preator 'smirked.' "Though an intriguing one, I suppose." He then brought two fingers to his chin, a thoughtful look coming upon him. “You know, I once learned from a Terran scientist that when two humans make lip contact, they actually exchange pheromones that allows them to tell if they are compatible or not. Interesting, isn’t it?"
At that point, Marion had slumped her cheek against a fist, pretending to be asleep, complete with an overly-loud, mock snoring sound. "Huh- wah?" she said, blinking her eyes open. "Sorry, must have dozed off..."
"Ugh... you young Templars have the attention spans of infants! In my day, we paid our commanders more heed!" the Praetor cried, though with a slightly amused expression on him. "However, you must keep diligent. The wormhole must be monitored until your replacement arrives. The High Council is eager to know if the Zerg will attempt to try anything with this... pocket dimension, until we can figure out how to close the gateway to it."
Marion gave a nod. "Right. I'll keep an eye on it. Though please call back soon, I need someone to talk to or I'm going to lose my mind out here."
The Preator nodded back at her, 'smiling'. "I shall. En Taro Tassadar!"
"En Taro Tassadar," Marion stated respectfully.
The virewscreen then flickered off, elation slowly filling Marion to the breaching point.
"Yeeeeeeees. I thought he'd never stop talking!"
Another 'viewsceen' flickered on in her mind, a theme song soon joining it that turned her mood around one-eighty degrees.
"Jump around!
Rock out!
With Littlest Pet Shop,
Scream and Shout!"
"Yay!" she beamed to herself, clapping her three-fingered hands gingerly, before oozing, "Littlest Pet Shop is sooo the best Terran show!"
"Warning! Contact in range!" a cold, robotic, computer like voice suddenly shouted in her head.
"Huh?" she said, lifting an eyebrow and reluctantly flickering off her show.
As she gave a grunt, her mind then left the ship, almost as if she were having an out-of-body experience. However, there were no stars to be seen, nor anything besides a crudely-drawn, wire-frame like entity that was her own vessel as well as the worm hole. For she wasn’t really astral projecting herself, it was simply the ship’s neural interface device allowing her to directly tap into the ship's sensors, to 'see' what they were seeing.
And what she saw made her want to gulp.
What would be undetected by all sensors except for those her Scout-class ship’s soon came into view: a Terran stealth frigate, its bulky form flying precariously close to her own vessel... though luckily, not on a direct intercept path with it or the worm hole.
A curious look coming upon her, she quickly made her mind open for a moment, allowing her to be able to hear the thoughts of the Terrans aboard.
'Stenson! Get your head out of your ass! You can't use those mags in a Type-3 assault rifle, man!'
'Oh come on! This will totally work! I just gosta do a little...
There was a beat of silence.
'Ah shit.'
’What?’
’Errr…. I think I’m going to need another gun…’
'Bloody hell, lad! That's three in one day! But by all means, go ahead and break all our guns before we reach Chau Sara! We'll just throw rocks at the god damned rebels!'
Marion sighed in relief. The Terrans were Dominion, yes, a governmental body the Protoss would rather do without contact with. But at least she wouldn't need to deal with them either...
Yet.
"Warning! Contact within range!"
"Yes, I know, computer..." Marion grumbled.
"Second* contact in range!"* her computer barked. And for a brief second, Marion wondered if it had somehow developed sentience and was being a smartass.
However, soon, bigger things would be on her mind, as the Terrans would happily provide.
'Woah! Holy shit! A zerg ship?! What the fuck is a zerg ship doing out here!?'
'Keep it cool, man... this frigate can take a lone one.... I think.'
’God damnit. If we get into a space battle… I hate fucking space battles. I can’t do jack shit during one!’
'A zerg ship? Wah?' Marion said, closing her mind to the Terrans' increasingly panicked chatter. "Computer. Identify second contact."
"Identification Confirmed: Zerg Behemoth."
At that, Marion's eyes widened in horror.
"Oh, fiddlesticks..."
