FiMFriction

Twilight tapped her hoof impatiently on the mahogany table, her eyes darting side to side as she awaited her very special guests. Two empty chairs were arranged between herself and Fluttershy, the rest of her friends completing the circle around the restaurant’s table. She bit her lip, sweat forming at her brow as time continued to crawl by, much too slowly for her tastes. Twilight took a quick turn to her left, meeting the bemused gaze of Applejack, her vibrant green eyes half lidded to compliment the amused smile she wore at the unicorn’s visual paranoia.

“How long has it been?”

“’Bout thirty seconds since the last time you asked us, sugarcube,” Applejack chuckled, shaking her head slowly in practiced rhythm. “Ah think ya’ might be overreacting a tad bit, don’t ya’ll agree?”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes with a groan, her head rested on a bent foreleg.

“It’s just your brother and Cadence, Twilight! You don’t have to panic just because family wants to visit for… whatever reason the letter said. Look, I’m heading out, this is way too boring and I can’t just sit here doing nothing.”

She took off from her chair, gaining altitude at a decelerating speed until she came to a complete stop. Rainbow Dash turned around, noticing with anything but amusement that her tail was glowing with a vibrant indigo flare. The magic aura brought her slowly back into her chair, her forelegs crossed in silent resistance. Rarity dismissed her telekinetic spell, the light vanishing from her opal horn as quickly as she had been to react to the speedster’s self-dismissal.

“Really now, Rainbow Dash! Must you be so insensitive? Cadence may be her family, but she is still a royal princess and a request for audience must surely be unnerving to anypony, no matter what relations they may hold.”

“At the café?” Rainbow Dash grumbled, blowing an angry stream of air upward, lifting her fiery bangs from her face. “Just sounds like a lunch date to me.”

“Cadence is a very busy member of the royal family; she doesn’t have time for lunch dates! The letter says it was of upmost importance that we meet here today!” Twilight shrieked, jabbing the produced document for emphasis. She fiddled nervously with her hooves, rocking back and forth in her chair. “What if she wanted us to come here because there’s a new threat to Equestria? What if Princess Celestia appointed her to train us in the magic of friendship? What if she’s giving us a test?!”

Pinkie Pie bounced up from her seat, her voice as sugary and happy as her excited expression.

“Aw, c’mon Twlight! All those things sound like fun! I hope it’s multiple choice! I’m gonna make a smiley face!”

Twilight shook violently in her chair, her eyes bloodshot and her mane falling out of place with each spasm. “Fun? Fuuuun?! You think a test from royalty is fuuuuun?! Do I need to remind you about Nightmare Moon or Discord?!”

Fluttershy turned her head, raising her voice slightly above an audible whisper. “Uh, Twilight, I think they’re-“

“And the Crystal Empire was just loads of fun, right Pinkie?! What could be more fun than a test to save an entire empire from falling to fear and hatred?!”

“Is Twily having one of her pre-test fits again?”

“Eeyup,” Applejack drawled, the corners of her mouth bent to complete her sly smile. “Glad ya’ll made it, sugarcubes, though Ah think you can see for yourself that ya’ll might wanna explain why you asked us here in the first place.”

Twilight felt the familiar chill of horror as it spread down her spine, prompting her to turn around. Face flushed, she was greeted by a rather amused Shining Armor and a very concerned Princess Cadence. Cadence stepped forward, placing a comforting hoof on the distraught unicorn’s shoulder and pulling her into a close hug. She ran a hoof gently through Twilight’s disheveled mane, coaxing it back into a presentable form.

“There’s no test, Twilight. You’ve got nothing to be afraid of. We just wanted to have a nice lunch with you and your friends, and legal protocol required we format the letter as officially as possible. As I said before,” She paused, giving Twilight a quick wink, “You and I must get together when the fate of Equestria isn’t in imbalance.”

“S-so, it’s just a lunch date?”

“It’s just a lunch date,” Cadence echoed her in confirmation.

“Told you,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, earning a sharp sideways glare from Rarity. Cadence cleared her throat, earning the attention of her entire audience.

“From the looks of it, you ladies have been waiting long enough, and I do apologize. Let’s eat!”

The conversation that took place at the table was fairly casual despite its colorful inhabitants. Rainbow Dash and Applejack discussed the various routines of the royal guard with Shining Armor. He spared the two eager athletes no details, giving them the full rundown on all the physical conditioning a guard had to go through in his or her military training. Pinkie Pie and Rarity took to Cadence immediately, chattering about the many upper society soirees she had attended in her years as a representative of the royal crown. Twilight stayed on the sidelines of either conversation, jumping in with a random related fact or explanation to whatever her family brought up. Fluttershy kept to herself, nibbling quietly at her meal or nodding her head politely when addressed by one of her friends. By the end of their lunch, Cadence gave her husband an informed nod, prompting him to tap the side of his glass with a levitated spoon. The crystalline sound chimed loud and clear, gaining the attention of everypony at the table.

“If I may have everypony’s attention, my wife has told me that she has something she’d like to give you all,” He turned his attention to Cadence, who produced twelve tickets, each a pleasant shade of fuchsia. She guided them with her magic, placing two in front of each pony, who received them with gratitude and confusion. Noticing her company’s puzzled features, Cadence continued the explanation, a slight blush darkening her pink cheeks.

“These are tickets to the annual Hearts and Hooves Gala that takes place in six weeks at the Canterlot Castle. Naturally, my aunt has given you all the option to request admission into any Galas from now on, as your first experience may not have been… pleasant to say the least.” She paused, allowing the six younger mares to grumble some form of agreement.

Cadence gave a sheepish smile, continuing with a nervous crack in her voice. “But! This Gala is much different than the Grand Galloping Gala. The Hearts and Hooves Gala extends its invitations to all happy couples, and the love they all share can be gathered at Canterlot Castle, where I use my magic to spread it across Equestria!”

“That’s amazing,” Twilight gasped, her enthusiasm for the magical mechanics laced within her tone.

“I… will admit to ‘borrowing’ some of the spell’s properties from our stay in the Crystal Empire, but that doesn’t make it any less effective. I do hope that all of you and your special someponies will be able to attend.”

All six mares shuffled uncomfortably in their seats. One by one, each of their eyes shifted to Applejack, silently pleading the honest pony to break the news to the royal couple. The cowpony licked her dry lips awkwardly, forcing them into a small smile.

“Well, uh, Ah think we all greatly appreciate the offer, Cadence. But ya see, the thing is, none of really have any… uh… special someponies.”

The alicorn’s features drooped at the news, though Cadence’s reaction was overshadowed by a poorly timed snicker from Shining Armor. Rainbow Dash scowled at the cheeky stallion and leapt at him from her chair, hovering an inch in front of his face with powerful wing beats that scattered the dishes on the table.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” She growled viciously, rose eyes boring ruthlessly into his blue ones.

Shining Armor shrunk back, a nervous smile matching the inconsistencies in his speech. “N-not at all, Miss Rainbow Dash. I simply won a bet with my wife was all.”

Rarity pouted, her eyebrows drooped at their ends in a depressed manner. “You bet on our relationship standings? Do we really strike you as the type of mares who are unable to find a special somepony of our own?”

“Of course not! You’re all attractive mares in your own right,” He said, his hooves held up in a defensive stance. “It’s just you all seem to be at points in your lives where dating probably isn’t taking priority.”

He turned to his left, placing a brotherly hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I don’t think Twily has ever been on a date. She didn’t even have friends until she met you guys, so I can’t imagine her in the dating scene. No offense, Twily,” He added with a quick wink.

“Plenty taken, *BBBFF*,” She grumbled dangerously, yanking her shoulder out of his touch. Shining Armor cleared his throat with an uncomfortable cough, turning his gaze to a surprisingly neutral Applejack.

“From what we’ve read from Twily’s letters, your farm life sounds too busy for you to be actively dating, Applejack. It also can’t be easy when you’re practically raising your little sister as well.”

“T’aint easy at all,” Applejack confirmed, shaking her head softly, the years of hard labor and stress showing despite her normally energetic attitude. “And yer darn tootin’ there’s no time for any of that datin’ business. Though Ah know Granny Smith ain’t too happy ‘bout that.”

Shining Armor nodded in sympathy, his eyes drifting beyond Applejack to the pink pony jumping up and down in her seat.

“Me next! Me next!” Pinkie Pie squealed, her enthusiasm genuine, making Shining Armor’s confession all the more awkward.

“Quite frankly… Miss Pinkie Pie,” He paused, visibly flinching as the bubbly mare looked at him with unblinking, happy eyes. “I… don’t think you’re quite ready for a relationship. A committed relationship usually requires two ponies who are more… uh, mature.”

“Oh I totally agree,” Pinkie Pie said, her voice taking a completely serious and understanding tone. The shocked looks from all seven ponies in her present company coaxed a confident eyebrow to rise on Pinkie Pie’s countenance. “What? I’m immature and silly, not completely loco in the coco! Even I know I’ve got a lot of growing up to do before anypony can actually take me seriously.”

Shining Armor gave a hearty chuckle that stopped halfway in his throat as he made eye contact with Rarity. The fashionista pony’s pitiable, morose expression caused the captain of the Royal Guard to choke on whatever words he attempted to form. Clearing his throat, he found his voice and spoke with an apologetic smile.

“Miss Rarity, you shouldn’t look at ponies like that; the doctors have enough patients to worry about without you stopping everypony’s hearts. My assumption of your relationship status was based upon the same reasoning as Applejack’s. You’ve got a busy career, and if what I’ve paid attention to from the noble ponies is true, you’ve expanded quite a bit of your clientele into Canterlot. That’s gotta be a hectic life.”

“Oh yes, it is, and dealing with my sister’s antics doesn’t make it any easier,” She sighed, putting on a small smile to appease her company for the discomfort she caused. Her smile faded quickly as she mulled over everything they had talked about. “Still,” She confessed, “A special somepony to share it with would be marvelous, if I should only be so lucky.”

Nopony except Shining Armor noticed the slight shift in Cadence’s facial expression, a single corner of her mouth bending up as the gears in her mind began to turn. He suppressed the urge to address his wife and pushed the thought into the back of his mind; there would always be time to confront her later. Skipping past Rainbow Dash, he turned to Fluttershy, who let loose an audible ‘eep’ before cowering under the table in a quivering mess. Shining Armor shook his head in pity at the timid mare’s display.

“I think Fluttershy explained that one for herself. You’ve gotta talk to ponies to meet them, let alone date them.” He clopped his hooves together, a nervous smile and cold sweat overtaking his face, betraying his intentions. “Well then, that’s that-“

“Hold it!”

Everypony at the table flinched as the inevitable confrontation broke loose. Rainbow Dash remained hovering in her airspace, glaring down with rose eyes that burned with a mixture of pain and anger at a visibly nervous Shining Armor.

“What, so you think you can just skip me?” She barked, folding her forelegs in visible defiance. She took her seat, puffing her chest out in self-absorbed pride. “I bet plenty of stallions would kill for a chance to go out with someone as radical and awesome as me. I just don’t have time for dating and all that mushy stuff that all those silly fillies like. I’ve got Wonderbolt Academy training and on top of that, I practice outside the Academy so that I can push myself without hurting anypony else.”

“That’s exactly what I was going to say, Miss Rainbow Dash,” Shining Armor lied, his forced smile and fib earning a sharp glare from his wife. Pushing out his chair, he stood up, pulled his wife’s chair out for her, and placed a considerable amount of bits onto the table, more than enough to pay for everypony’s lunch. “Please excuse us for the early departure, ladies, but I believe we must return to Canterlot. Royal duties don’t allow us a lot of time for pleasure, unfortunately.”

“Are you sure you want to pay for the whole thing, Shining?” Twilight flinched, feeling guilty as the large pile of bits reflected the harsh sunlight onto her features.

“Absolutely!” He chirped playfully, trotting away from the table with a slight skip in his step. “Besides, it’s the money Cadence just lost in our bet!” With the flash of a teleportation spell, he was gone.

Cadence released an embarrassed groan at her husband’s display. Shamefaced, she turned to the six mares at the table and spoke out with a flush on her face. “I am so, so sorry about everything, ladies. It was incredibly disrespectful for us to bet on something so personal to you all in the first place, and for that I give you my sincerest apologies. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Don’t you fret none, ya’ here,” Applejack said with a wave of her hoof. “Ah know Ah’ve made my own share off of worse bets than that, so it’d just be darn right hypocritical of me to stay mad at ya’ll for doin’ the same. Now go on. Go chew yer husband out and we’ll see ya’ll in six weeks at the Gala, date or no date.”

Cadence smiled warmly and her own horn lit up in a blue aura, triggering the flash of light that signaled teleportation. The six mares were left in awkward silence, each reflecting on what exactly had just transpired at what was supposed to be a simple, friendly lunch date. Rainbow Dash broke the silence, her eyes never leaving their fixed stare at the ground below.

“Was it… that easy to tell?”

“Oh don’t be silly, Dashie!” Pinkie Pie chirped, her normal bounce full and evident in her voice as much as it was in her mane. “Shining Armor just knows us, that’s all! I doubt anypony else could tell we were single. Princess Cadence didn’t think so!”

“You do raise a valid point,” Rarity said, twirling a lock of hair playfully with a free hoof, her mood changing for the better. “Besides, we’re all still young and there’s plenty of time for dating ahead of us.”

“That’s the spirit, sugarcube,” Applejack said with a quick wink. She pushed her own chair out from the table and plopped down onto all fours, landing with a slight grunt. “Now Ah hate ta’ eat and run, but Ah’ve gotta head on back to the farm. Cousin Braeburn came into town and Ah left Big Macintosh in charge of pickin’ him up and keepin’ him company while Ah was out here on this here lunch.” She chuckled, shaking her head as she pictured the two stallions interacting. “Woowee! Poor Big Mac’s probly ready to tear his ears off. Or Braeburn’s mouth. Whatever comes off easiest.”

She trotted off, and not long after Twilight stood up from the table to excuse herself, an anxious smile stretched across her face. “I have a lot of studying to do if I’m gonna get a date for Cadence’s Hearts and Hooves Day Gala! There’s no time to lose; I’ve only got six weeks!”

With a flash of her horn, she was gone, leaving behind a very amused Rarity. “The poor dear; there’s only so much you can learn in books.” She tapped the base of her horn with a free hoof, producing a steady rhythm of solid beats as keratin made contact with keratin. “ Idea! I’ll make us all new outfits for the Gala and should we be lucky enough, our dates too! Fluttershy dear, could you come along with me to the boutique? Inspiration just struck me for your ensemble and I would greatly appreciate it if I could retake your measurements and perhaps form the basic design of your dress.”

“Oh Rarity, you don’t have to make me a new dress,” Fluttershy protested, a teal eye hidden behind the recesses of her flowing pink mane. “The old one is wonderful and I’m sure it will look just as great at this Gala too. Besides, I haven’t even decided if I want to go.”

Rarity gasped, the intake of air creating a shrill noise of horror that forced a cringe onto the faces of everypony present. “Surely you jest, Fluttershy! Why, with your natural beauty and sweet disposition, you could win the heart of any stallion in town! You will come to the Boutique for your fitting and I won’t take no for an answer!”

“Oh, uhm…. okay,” She squeaked in her characteristic submission, her tail flowing in a smooth curve, it seeming to wave goodbye as she followed Rarity’s huffy exit from the table. Only the two most colorful ponies in the circle of friends remained, one in particular looking much more chipper than her prismatic companion. Pinkie Pie slapped a comforting hoof onto Rainbow Dash’s shoulder in an optimistic half-hug before making her leave from the table.

“Don’t worry, Dashie!” She called back, skipping her way back to Sugarcube Corner, where either the joys of work or playtime awaited her. “We’ll all have a bunch of fun at the Gala and it will be great great great!”

Rainbow Dash pouted her lower lip out, using it to direct an angry stream of air to blow the bangs from her eyes.

“Yeah. Great.”