Cover Image

Building Walls, Burning Bridges

by MonolithiuM
An adventure of highly insulting and callous behavior led by a small human named Mono. Whether it's crushing romances or denying amazing power, our hero strives to avoid as many cliches as possible during his less-than-fortunate adventure..

A human with a sour temper, an immunity to magic and mischievously-sinister tendencies appears in Celestia's garden. His body suffers from a strange case of disproportionate deformity, and he displays a certain degree of genre savviness regarding the ponies' world. Using this knowledge, the human struggles to avoid "cliches" to the point of obsession. His attitude constantly pushes away the ponies and their attempts at friendship, while he intends to use the brightly-colored equines to gain a stranglehold on their economics. Combining cartoon-physics and manipulation, the human slowly rises to the occasion in order to swindle the wealthy, assert his presence, and dominate his environment.

Just how far into his quest for wealth, however, will the ponies let him get?

(A self-insert that is fully conscious of cliches, contains swearing and some mildly violent and offensive themes. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. So don't whine about it. Welcome to the internet.)

LEGAL STUFF
I own the artwork.
MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro, Studio B, and Lauren Faust
Any references to media are purely used for entertainment purposes.

Teen
Incomplete
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Human
Comedy
 
FFTCC

84961 words: Estimated about 7 hours to read
Download:textHTMLePUB

40 Chapters:

  1. Prologue- Life Was Good* 2013-04-16 06:19:08 UTC
    2559
  2. Chapter 1- Worst Nightmare/Best Dream 2013-04-17 01:49:10 UTC
    2295
  3. Chapter 2- Reluctant Introduction 2013-04-23 13:59:08 UTC
    1907
  4. Chapter 3- I Keep My Real Name in My Other Pants 2013-04-24 22:02:21 UTC
    2169
  5. Chapter 4- Publicity 2013-04-26 20:29:51 UTC
    2026
  6. Chapter 5- Political Contender 2013-05-02 00:54:04 UTC
    1857
  7. Chapter 6- Reality Check 2013-05-04 08:57:08 UTC
    2177
  8. Chapter 7- Cliches Strike Back 2013-05-24 01:04:43 UTC
    2629
  9. Chapter 8- Cutie Mark Conspirators 2013-05-31 22:49:27 UTC
    2379
  10. Chapter 9- Mo' Money, Mo' Migraines 2013-06-10 05:10:44 UTC
    1579
  11. Chapter 10- Under the Hood 2013-07-02 21:24:19 UTC
    1509
  12. I'm Going to Turn Discord into an Unlimited Roll of Toilet Paper 2013-07-16 22:51:13 UTC
    346
  13. Chapter 11- Sweet Dreams Are... 2013-08-05 13:50:32 UTC
    3386
  14. Chapter 12- Zebras and Irony 2013-08-12 20:15:55 UTC
    2313
  15. Chapter 13- Friendship for Dummies... by Dummies 2013-08-19 22:13:27 UTC
    2009
  16. Let's See How Discord Likes THIS One! 2013-08-22 03:42:42 UTC
    421
  17. Chapter 14- Farewell Canterlot... for Now 2013-08-26 15:41:40 UTC
    2168
  18. [ARC II] Chapter 15- Cliche Central 2013-09-02 18:45:17 UTC
    1593
  19. [ARC II] Chapter 16- Cutie Copperfield 2013-09-09 04:08:18 UTC
    1119
  20. [ARC II] Chapter 17- Apologies and Clay 2013-09-16 04:58:44 UTC
    1634
  21. [ARC II] Chapter 18- The Bet 2013-09-24 00:28:10 UTC
    1727
  22. [ARC II] Chapter 19- The Hardest Part is Finding a Unicorn and Making It Cry 2013-10-01 03:12:21 UTC
    2010
  23. [ARC II] Chapter 20- I Suppose We Should Call This Chapter Twenty 2013-10-09 22:14:21 UTC
    1380
  24. [ARC II] Chapter 21- Crusaders+Idea=Everfree Forest 2013-10-14 23:48:35 UTC
    1880
  25. [ARC II] Chapter 22- Chunks 2013-10-22 00:30:00 UTC
    1990
  26. Happy Belated Hearth's Warming 2014-01-01 08:13:51 UTC
    463
  27. [ARC II] Chapter 23- Gem of Rages 2014-01-12 19:23:18 UTC
    2402
  28. [ARC II] Chapter 24- Did I Say Making a Unicorn Cry Was Hard? 2014-01-20 18:31:54 UTC
    2368
  29. [ARC II] Chapter 25- Cleared Up 2014-01-28 02:21:25 UTC
    1634
  30. DELETED SCENE #1 2014-02-03 16:14:13 UTC
    1719
  31. [ARC II] Chapter 26- Freezer Burn 2014-02-11 02:50:27 UTC
    2044
  32. DELETED SCENE #2 2014-02-18 02:20:00 UTC
    2125
  33. [ARC II and a 1/2!] Chapter 27- Get Goin' Ya Dumb Bastards 2014-08-21 03:25:59 UTC
    2762
  34. [???] The Question 2014-10-12 07:10:46 UTC
    1633
  35. [ARC II] Chapter 28- Caught Between the Clouds and a Hard Place 2015-02-13 19:58:05 UTC
    8221
  36. [ARC II] Chapter 29- An Aspirin or Something 2015-11-30 05:07:15 UTC
    3531
  37. An Eldritch Persuasion 2015-12-17 05:04:28 UTC
    584
  38. [ARC II] Chapter 30- He Set Us Up the Bomb 2015-12-20 07:48:20 UTC
    2567
  39. [ARC II] Chapter 31- Spendthriftin' 2016-09-13 05:49:56 UTC
    2410
  40. [ARC II] Chapter 32- Love and Its Pitfalls 2017-03-10 22:44:17 UTC
    3436