Secret Crush

Scootaloo screamed as her mind returned to reality and she realized that she had been caught by Mario. “Doesn’t any-pony read the sign anymore?” Mario pouted and Scootaloo was still breathing heavily as she asked “What… sign?” she asked through her heavy pants. Mario pointed to a sign that read ‘No masturbation in the kitchen, thank you for your cooperation’. “What… kind of… sign is that?” Scootaloo laughed through her still heavy pants.

“Oh wait a minute… you aren’t one of my chefs, you’re that mare that was hanging out with Joey… my spoon, why did you have to use my spoon” Mario cried. Scootaloo looked down at the spoon, “You could just wash it?” she suggested as her breathing became more controlled. Mario raised an eyebrow “How do you think ponies would react if they found out that some mare had used the spoon to masturbate and that I used that exact spoon to stir the soup” Mario replied and Scootaloo felt stupid for her suggestion.

“Sorry… I just kind of lost control” Scootaloo told Mario who trotted up and sat down beside her. “Don’t worry… it isn’t the first time that some-pony used the kitchen utensils to masturbate, last time one of my chefs used a whisk, I know it’s strange but she did” Mario informed her and Scootaloo looked to Mario. “Did you fire her?” Scootaloo asked and Mario laughed. “Fire her… no I married her” Mario laughed and Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, Mario simply shrugged “When I first opened this shop mares in Ponyville didn’t wear any clothes, they thought their tails would cover everything… anyway when I caught her she cried but I cooed her and the next week we got married” Mario said with a laugh.

“Wow, just like that?” Scootaloo asked and Mario winked “Just like that, some things a just meant to be” Mario said and Scootaloo sighed, she wished that things between her and Joe would be ‘Just meant to be’. “You seem sad… tell Mario why this is?” Mario suggested and Scootaloo looked to him, “You know Joey right… well we aren’t actually dating but I wish we were… When I’m around him I feel… different and he makes me feel warm inside” Scootaloo said as she zipped up her pants.

“Baby, you should just tell Joey how you feel… you know that you’re the first one he’s brought to lunch ?” Mario informed her and Scootaloo gave him a look of hope. “Listen, I won’t tell him. It’ll be our little secret, but you should tell him before it’s too late” Mario told her and she nodded. “Tell me something about Joe” Scootaloo whispered and Mario looked to her, “What do you want to know?” he asked and Scootaloo shrugged “Anything” she whispered and Mario looked to her. “Let me tell you about the day he saved my life”.

* * *

“Well maybe we should move somewhere other than in front of a restaurant” Joe suggested to Applejack and she sighed. “Ah really don’t know… it’s hard tah pull this carriage yah know” Applejack told him and he chuckled, “Yeah, considering I’m always the one pulling it” Joe laughed and Applejack gave him a friendly nudge. “Ah promised tah pull it back didn’t ah” Applejack replied and Joe rolled his eyes, “Yeah after all the weight is gone cause we sold all the apples and besides it’s all downhill back to the farm” Joe laughed and Applejack rolled her eyes. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight walked over.

“How’s business today?” Twilight asked and Applejack sighed. “That means terrible in her own language” Joe laughed and Applejack gave him a harder punch. Joe chuckled and Rarity walked over and dropped three bits on the table, “I’ll have an apple pie dear” Rarity said and Joe handed her one of the pies. But as she was about to take a bit out of the pie the smell of smoke filled the air. “What the hell is that?” Joe asked as he stood to his full height and began to sniff the air. His question was answered when multiple glass windows at the back of the restaurant shattered and dark flames emitted from the window ceil.

“Oh shit” Joe gasped as ponies began to scramble out of the restaurant. Pinkie Pie just seemed to appear out of nowhere “Oh my gosh… what’s happening?” she asked and Joe shook his head, “Don’t know yet” he replied. Joe tried to talk to multiple ponies but the crowd was just too frantic to get away from the building. Suddenly a chef approached the group “Please you have to help them, some of the chefs are stuck in the back kitchen” the chef pleaded as a fire carriage rounded around the street corner.

Firefighters exited the vehicle and began to make a perimeter around the building. Joe ran up to one of the firefighters “Hey you have to go in there, there’s some ponies trapped inside” Joe informed a firefighter and the firefighter shook his hoof. “We can’t go in until we secure the situation” the firefighter told Joe. “They could die by then!” Joe yelled but the firefighter turned his attention away and began to give orders to the other firefighters.

“FUCK!” Joe swore and Rainbow Dash flew up to him, “What’s up Joe?” she asked and Joe threw his arms up in frustration. “The fucking firefighters won’t go in until they secure the place… fuck that I’m going in” Joe muttered and made his way towards the burning restaurant. “Joe, wait” Twilight called to him and Joe stopped for a moment, “Joe the smoke levels in that place could be lethal” Twilight warned him.

“I’ll take my chances” Joe muttered but the element bearers rushed up beside him, “We won’t stand idly by if we could help… but I really discourage this course of action” Twilight informed the group. “Hey you can’t go in there the place hasn’t been” the firefighter yelled but Joe kicked down the front door and the group entered.

The smoke was thick and it stung Joe’s eyes. “Stay low… the smoke can steal your breath” Joe muttered and put his arm up in front of his face to try and block some of the smoke. They made their way quickly across the restaurant and Joe kicked down the ‘Employee’s only’ door, several chefs were hiding in the far corner of the kitchen and the group rushed over.

As the group helped the ponies one of the chefs looked to Joe. “Please… Mario went into the back to get a fire extinguisher and is trapped back their… you have to save him” the chef coughed.

Joe looked to the others. “Get them outta here… I got Mario” Joe told the group, “No way that’s stupid… Joe you could die” Twilight argued and Joe looked to Rarity and nodded. “Wait… no don’t” Twilight began but Rarity produced a teleportation spell and transported the group outside. Twilight banged her hoof against the ground. “Dammit Rarity… you just can’t do that” Twilight yelled and Applejack put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “Don’t worry… ah know him an he’s a survivor, if any-pony can do this it’s him” Applejack assured her friend.

Back inside Joe staggered into the back kitchen, the smoke was thick and it was hard to see. Joe grabbed the lever for the back kitchen door but it was scalding hot and burned his hand. “FUCK” Joe swore as he pulled back his hand and clenched his fist, the door was solid steel and had to be at least 6 inches thick. Smoke started to blur his vision worse and he began to feel light headed. He stepped back and with tremendous strength kicked down the steel door which clattered to the floor.

He dashed into the back kitchen and saw Mario huddled up in a corner, coughing violently as the smoke began to steal what little oxygen he had to breath. Joe staggered over to Mario, “Please… tell my wife… I love her” Mario gasped and Joe rolled his eyes, okay now sure it was life and death situation but that line had been used way to many times, he couldn’t have said tell my wife my final thoughts were of her or something? “You’re not gonna die… I’m gonna get you outta here” Joe told Mario and he coughed violently.

Joe looked to Mario and tossed the stallion over his shoulder but soon found that the smoke stole both their breath and that this wouldn’t work. “Mario… can you walk?” Joe asked and Mario shook his head weakly. Joe gritted his teeth as he held back a cough, he needed a way to save Mario and he needed a plan fast.

He spotted a cold freezer, it had to weigh at least 500 lbs. and Mario had to weigh at least another 190. “690 lbs.” Joe grunted and Mario looked to him, “What?” Mario asked as Joe staggered over to the freezer. In a show of extreme strength Joe lifted the freezer up and staggered back to Mario. “The smoke can’t get you… if you’re in here… get in” Joe coughed as he popped open the freezer and pulled out the racks used to keep things separated. Mario crawled into the freezer and Joe shut the door on the freezer, “Stay cool” Joe quoted and chuckled at the shitty one liner.

Grunting as he placed the heavy freezer on his shoulder and began to stagger out of the restaurant. He managed to get out of the kitchen and was in the dining room when suddenly the roof collapsed and a wooden beam fell on Joe, knocking him and the freezer to the ground. Luckily the beam landed on the freezer but it still trapped Joe underneath it. “Mario how much does one of those roof beams weigh?” Joe asked. “Uhm 250 lbs. why?” Mario asked, his voice muffled by the freezer lining, and Joe cursed to himself. ‘This is gonna hurt like a bitch’ Joe thought as he grasped the beam with his hands. The burning wood burned his hands and started to melt the skin on his palms.

Joe let out a pained howl and with extreme force gave the beam a toss and launched it off his body. Joe staggered back up and grabbed the freezer but as he walked to the exit he realized that the exit had collapsed and that there was no way he could escape. “Mario… hold on to something” Joe told the Italian chef. “Like what… I’m inside a freezer you know” Mario retorted.

Outside the entire crowd waited for Joe and the chef who had been trapped in the burning restaurant to come out. Firefighters sprayed the burning restaurant with fire hoses in an attempt to extinguish the flames. Suddenly a freezer smashed out from the front entrance which was collapsed and tumbled along the ground towards the crowd. Several gasps were emitted, “What… what is going on?” Twilight asked as the freezer door popped open and an Italian chef, who was covered in black soot from the burning building got out of the freezer and rolled to the ground.

Several of the employees rushed to his side but he gasped and pointed the burning. “Save him” Mario whispered weakly but suddenly an explosion ripped through the building and several ponies screamed in horror. “Oh muh god… JOE!” Applejack screamed. “Oh no… that was the propane exchange… that’s bad… every-pony get down” screamed one of the employees and suddenly an even larger explosion ripped through the building, sending burning debris towards the crowd and into the air.

“Oh please Celestia… this can’t be happening this has to be a bad dream” Twilight cried as she looked to the building. Sure Joe was tough but nothing could have survived that. “Every-pony get back to a safer distance” one of the firefighters ordered. Twilight buried her face in the ground and began to cry, Joe was so fun to be around and he was a personal friend of hers, it was like she had just lost one of her lifelong friends.

Several gasps were emitted from the crowd and Twilight looked up to see a smoking black figure come from around the side of the restaurant.

The element bearers all rushed up and grabbed him, quickly bringing him to a safer distance. Paramedics took Joe from them and placed him on a stretcher and hooked him up with an oxygen mask. Joe looked to Twilight and gave her a wink, pulling down the mask he chuckled “Forget the hearse… cause I ain’t dead yet” Joe coughed and put the oxygen mask back on as the paramedics loaded him into the back of the ambulance carriage. Joe looked to Mario who was receiving similar treatment and gave him a thumbs up.

* * *

“So what happened after that?” Scootaloo asked and Mario shrugged. “Well Joe is a very active guy and can’t be kept down that easily so after having Twilight heal his hands he was back to work for Applejack in a few hours” Mario laughed and Scootaloo rolled her eyes, only Joe could be so ridiculous as to go back to work a few hours after a near death experience.