Chapters The sword of the...ponies?
Attempted murder
It was a beautiful morning and Spike was enjoying his morning walk. Not that he liked walking all that much, but ever since Twilight had put him on a diet he frequented his secret gem stash every morning. He was just walking past the everefree forest (but still at a safe distance) when he suddenly heard a strange noise coming from the trees.
“Als ik je te pakken krijg”
“maar, ik deed niks”
It sounded like voices, but spike couldn’t make out what they were saying. Suddenly two figures burst from between the trees. First Spike thought they were running from something, but then he noticed that they were actually chasing each other, all the while yelling to each other.
“I told you I didn’t do it!!!” the first one yelled.
“I’ll kill you, I swear on the queens crown jewels I will kill you!!!” The second screamed back.
“You’re looking at this the wrong way, see it as an opportunity to learn about another species.” The first one replied. “Besides, it isn’t my fault we’re like this. It was that psionic field. Just give me some time to study it. And that horn really suits you.”
“You better quickly learn to fly with those wings of yours because when I catch you I’m going to stick this horn up your…”
“The strange ponies you see these days.”
Rainbow Dash lay on a cloud, taking a nap. Her after breakfast-nap, the nap that came before her pre-lunch nap. She was just dreaming of…well…maybe…I don’t know, what does a Pegasus with rainbow colored hair dream about? Let’s just say it was a nice dream. When she was rudely awakened by the racket that came from below. she stuck her head over the side of the cloud to yell something at the idiot that had disturbed her nap.
And then she saw them. A black Pegasus,( and with ‘a black pegasus’ I mean completely black, black fur, black hooves, black mane, black tail. The only exception was the fur on his face which was white.) with a panicked expression on his face, running around all the while flapping pathetically with his wings and occasionally coming a few inch of the ground. He was being chased by a unicorn with dark blue fur and a yellow mane and tail, who kept yelling obesities at the Pegasus.
She took off from the cloud and landed right in front of the fleeing Pegasus, who came to an abrupt halt after which his pursuer ran head first against him making him jump three feet in the air with a painful yelp as the unicorns horn poked in his flank.
Rainbow Dash, who wanted to have this over with as soon as possible, Had no doubt prepared a speech over responsible behavior so that the entire situation could be solved quickly.
“WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU TWO DOING!?”
Or not.
The unicorn, who was slightly taken aback by the turn of events, whispered to his companion who was still rubbing his sore flank.
“Jasper, have I just imagined it, or did that creature really say something to us?”
“ It was more screaming than saying, but I guess she did. She must be one of the intelligent life forms our scans detected.”
“It looks like she glued a rainbow to her head, big deal. Instead of admiring the local fauna you should help me find a way to explain we’re humans.”
“Well, technically, I don’t think we are human anymore.”
“Yes I know that, but I mean we should find a way to tell her that in reality we aren’t members of her species, but humans.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Well, since that last genetic enhancement of yours I don’t know if we can still be classified as human beings.”
“What good is that to us, I didn’t get any offspring after the genetic enhancement. I didn’t even have sexual intercourse after it. Come to think of it, I’ve never had sexual intercourse.”
“…”
“What!? Like you’ve had so much sex.”
“Not really, but sometimes a new specimen is in need of a ‘thorough’ inspection.”
“I didn’t know you used human test-subjects”
“Who said anything about human.”
“… you disgust me.”
“It’s not that bad, Tarkan females can be very ‘gentle’ and morrigi are not much to look at from a human point of view but they are very flexible.”
“Doesn’t make it sound less disgusting.”
“Oh, and on a side note. I actually do use human test-subjects.”
“Why are we even discussing this, this isn’t going to help us!”
“You’re right, I suggest we ask for her name.”
“Who’s name?”
“That of the strangely colored creature standing over there, or did you forget about her.”
“I actually did, this conversation is going on for such a long time that even the readers probably forgot she was there.”
“The who forgot what now?”
“Nothing!”
They both turned their heads back to Rainbow Dash, who stood there with her mouth open, not really understanding what they were talking about; She quickly closed it when she heard the Pegasus clear his throat in a very obvious way.
Rainbow Dash, who was still a little confused by the recent change of events, quickly regained her composure and glared at the two strange ponies.
“Shouldn’t you be the ones to tell me your names first.” She practically growled. “You are the ones to run around, screaming like idiots and disturbing my…work.”
“yes, but you are the one who so rudely interrupted our…jovial discussion.”
“Jovial? It looked like he was trying to kill you.”
“Just a little dispute between siblings, nothing big.”
“So…you two are brothers.” She asked a little surprised.
“Yes, my name is Jasper and my brother’s name is Casper. We are twins, identical twins to be exact.”
Dash raised an eye brow “you don’t look very identical. You look more like two weirdoes to me.”
Casper, who was getting a bit annoyed by the attitude of the Pegasus, stepped in front of his brother and glared at the Pegasus.
“Yeah, well you look like a rainbow barfed in your hair and you tried to clean it with your tail! Now would you please tell us your name so we can move on.”
Although she didn’t like to be insulted, she too would like to continue with her business.
“My name is Dash, Rainbow Dash.”
Immediately after she said that, Casper made a painful sounding noise after which he toppled over. Dash look at him, shocked, and then turned to Jasper to see a large grin plastered on his face.
Jasper looked at his brother and shook his head. “Oh my, it looks like he has choked on his laugh.”
The sword of the...ponies?
Why you shouldn't piss her off
Why you shoudn't piss her off
The sun was shining on the grassy plains, in the plain there stood one big, tall oak tree and leaning against the trunk of the tree, with his hoofs behind his head, sat a black Pegasus with a white face.
“You know what, Casper.” He said. “This world is quite nice, everything is bright, the entire place seems to radiate compassion, love and friendship and for once we can take it slowly. No one hunting us for crimes against the rights of intelligent live forms or the director out for our heads because of some ‘unfortunate accident’.”
“Oh whoop the fucking doo, what luck that we ended up in a world filled with cranky, ridiculously colored, and named, creatures of which some have wings and some have psionic powers. And by the way, those crimes against intelligent live forms were all your fault as was our latest ‘unfortunate accident’ as you call it. Now if you would be so kind as to… GET ME THE FUCK DOWN!!! OR I WILL SPIT ON YOUR HEAD YOU SON OF A ZUUL!!!
Jasper looked up and on one of the branches of the tree he could see his brother. Rainbow Dash wasn’t very pleased when Casper had laughed with her name. She had picked him up (she was surprisingly strong) and she had flown him to nearest tree and tied his tail to one of the branches his brother all the while screaming indignantly after which she had just flown off.
“And how am I supposed to get you down, I can’t even reach you.” Jasper said
Casper rolled his eyes. “You have wings, fool. You just fly up here like she did and untie me.”
“But I don’t know how to fly.” He retorted.
“You have studied the Morrigi for years! Sure you must have learned something about how the fly.”
“yes, but studying something that flies is a lot different from flying yourself. And most Morrigi I saw in the air, were falling from the sky after I shot them with a stunner.”
“Yeah, I still remember that. They kept chasing us for years. Nevertheless, you should just try it. You got to learn it at some point because we might be stuck in these bodies for some time.”
“Then why don’t you try to use your psionic powers, at least you’re not in danger of crashing into a tree when you try.”
“When you were chasing me I got bored and I started to look at the creatures we passed and I noticed those with horns levitating stuff.”
“You were bored!” Casper said, feeling a bit offended. “I was trying to kill you and you were screaming like a little girl.”
“Yeah, a manly man with purple socks.”
“Hey!, those socks are very fashionable. And you can’t blame me for wanting to bring some color in my wardrobe.”
“Color with a teddy bear motif” Casper chuckled.
“Okay, that’s it! You can untie yourself! For a genius like you doesn’t need the help of a purple sock wearing little girl like me! I’ve seen a little town a few miles to the east, I will wait for you there.”
“hey wait!, you can’t leave me hanging like this.”
“Sure I can, look I’m doing it right now, watch me doing it.”
Jasper got on all fours and started walking in the direction of a little village that could be seen in the distance.
After waiting a few minutes to see if his brother had indeed abandoned him, Casper started to think of a way to get out of this mess. And, like any person that tries to concentrate he mumbled to himself (okay, so maybe not everybody mumbles to himself to concentrate but I do! I’m even mumbling right now while I’m writing (Typing? (brackets between brackets?)) this down).
“Hmm…let’s see. Jasper mentioned something about psionic powers. Okay, focus…focus…fooocuuuus.”
Suddenly he felt a strange tinkling sensation at the tip of his horn. He could feel the power flow around his body, he let out a diabolical laugh.
Than his face slammed against the tree trunk.
“Aaah!...what the…!?, why….ouch. Okay…let’s try that again, shall we.”
Again he started to focus and again he felt the tinkling sensation, but this time he was more careful, letting the power slowly envelop his body.
Than he shot upwards, bumping his head against the branch to which he was tied.
“AAAA! I hate this!, I hate this world!, I hate…”
His rant was interrupted by a cracking sound. He looked up his eyes wide open with shock as he saw a large crack in the branch that was growing wider. He had to do something and fast. And then he got an idea. He focused again, let the energy envelop him and as he shot back upwards he grabbed hold of the branch. He was desperately fumbling at the knot in his tail as he saw the crack growing wider and wider. And then, just when all seemed lost…Oh happy day…The knot was disentangled, he was loose!
And then he fell.
He saw the ground come closer at a sickening speed. And as he sailed there through the air towards certain doom he had a flashback. It was at his twelfth birthday party, well, that of him and his brothers. His father was standing before him.
“Son, congratulations with your birthday, and here is your present.” He said as he handed over a book. “Now I know that animals are more your brothers thing, but I thought you might find it interesting. It’s a book about extinct animal species and even about a few mythological ones.
“Now don’t be like that. Here, look at this.” He said as he opened the book. “Here, that’s a horse. And this here is a pony, see. It has hoofs…and a mane… and a cute tail. And look at this mythological creatures. This is a unicorn and this a pegasus .” His dad said, pointing each one out in the book.
“Dad, all those animals look the same. And so what, it’s a book. I wanted a bicycle.”
“humpf…you ungrateful little brat; Why back in my they we would…oh, it looks like the flashback is coming to an end.”
“What?...why?”
“Because you are about to hit the ground.”
He opened his I eyes and screamed one last thing.
“PONIES!”
And then he hit the ground, head first. A sickening crack could be heard and the few bird that were sitting in the tree, K…I…S….S…I…wait that’s not right….eh…I mean… ahem…The birds flew away, the only witnesses to the tragedy that had transpired.
Author's Note
Each chapter has fewer and fewer words. Eventually this story will be nothing more than a few scattered words, and then a new world order will rise in its place!...or at least a better story. mwhoehahahahaha!
if anyone knows anything fun to let these two clowns do you can always leave it in a comment.
The sword of the...ponies?
you might be wondering : what is this about the end?, wasn't the last chapter the end or not? is this writer some kind of crazy idiot.
So, to answer those questions : This can be the end, no because otherwise this chapter couldn't exist, YES! I am crazy! Last chapter I requested you leave a comment if you wanted this series to continue an up till now I got one comment. But that one comment was enough to spark a guilty feeling that has been gnawing at me ever since. So I decided to provide a more or less closed ending. So that in case more people want me to continue I can, and if not I can give this story the 'complete label' without my guilt eating me whole. You can thank Dgrb (That's the name of the guy (or girl (once again brackets between brackets, how peculiar)) who wrote the comment, praised be his name) for this chapter. If you too would like to see this continued, leave a comment, because writing for one person is depressing. I will give it one week and then I will 'complete' it if I didn't get any comments. Thank you for your attention.
Twilight was galloping across the grassy plain with a panic stricken expression on her face
“ononono.” She blurted out.
She had been out on the plains in search for Spike, who still hadn’t returned from his morning walk.(Twilight suspected him from secretly eating gems despite him being on a diet but she had no proof) it was then that she had seen him. A unicorn hanging from a tree by his tail who was desperately trying to untie himself with his magic. She had stood there for a time looking at his clumsy attempts at magic when suddenly he fell. He landed head first and a horrifying, dry snap had echoed across the plains as all the birds sitting in the tree K..I..S..S…wait! I already made that joke didn’t I? Any ways, the birds flew away.
And so she was standing there besides the unmoving body. She was unsure of what to do next. Going back to ponyville would turn her entire schedule upside down not to speak about arranging the funeral. And besides, she was in ponyville to study friendship and you can’t be friends with someone who’s dead, can you now? She was just about to walk away and ignore the whole dead pony thing when she heard a soft mumbling coming from the body.
“Pe…pe…”
Twilight brought herself closer in an effort to hear what the dying pony was saying
“Pe…pe….WAIT! did you just say dying.”
I sure did.
“But in the last chapter YOU said I wouldn’t die!”
So, I changed my mind. And don’t worry, I have a plan.
“I don’t think the readers will like this.”
Well, they also don’t like characters breaking the fourth wall at an inappropriate time. So just shut up and let me take care of everything.
“hmmpf, Okay. I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Silly colt, of course I don’t. So, back to the story.
“My pe…pe…pe…pencil”
“What!?” Twilight said surprised.
“My pencil broke. I always put it behind my ear and by falling on my head it broke. That was that dry snap you heard.”
“Oh, I thought it was the snap of your spine breaking in half.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because half your spine is protruding out of your back.”
Casper’s eyes opened wide with shock after which they went blank and then…nothing.
Twilight decided that it was best to inform the authorities in ponyville so he could be buried. After all, she like picnicking on the plains and rotting corpses tend to spoil the mood a bit.
Meanwhile, Jasper was walking through ponyville. Looking at all the strange buildings he walked across the main road. Suddenly he heard someone yelling from right above him.
“Look out below!”
Then, with a heavy thud, a piano fell on him
“oh my. I’m so sorry sir” Derpy said as she flew down. “this is already the fourth time this has happened, I’m just so clumsy “She kept apologizing as she pushed away the piano.
“Oh…But it’s the first time that has ever happened” She said as she looked at the red splotch and broken bones.
“Sigh” Luna sighed.
She was bored to tears. She hated that she had to attend this burial. Normally, princesses aren’t supposed to go to the burials of their subjects. But it isn’t every day somepony dies in such a horrifying manner, let alone two ponies who where, according to rainbow Dash, identical twins who weren’t identical. Nopony knew where they came from or who they were and nopony cared. All in all she would rather hold a court than to sit here but her sister had tricked her in to this. By the time she knew what she was attending to, she was already on her way to ponyville. And so there she sat, planning her revenge while the two coffins were lowered into their graves. The first coffin having a strange bulge into its lid and the second one had some red fluid dripping from the bottom.
Author's Note
Short, wasn't it.
The sword of the...ponies?
There was white…
And white…
And even more white.
The white stretched as far as the eye could see. White to the left. White to the right. A white sky and a white ground. And in the middle of this big white-spirit stain there sat two ponies.
“Check…aaand….mate! I won again.” The black pony said with a huge grin on his face.
“sigh” the other one sighed. “I always forget I can’t use my tactical display any more with these stupid hooves.”
“You mean, you can’t cheat anymore.” The black one remarked. “I think this puts the score at 437-419 in my favor. Wanna play again?”
“yeah, why not. It’s not like I can do something else besides playing chess and staring into the void.”
They were just about to start there new game when suddenly a booming voice echoed through the white.
“TREMBLE PUNY MORTALS? FOR I HAVE ARRIVED.”
“What the…!? Who are you.” Jasper said.
“I AM THE MASTER OF THIS WORLD, I CONTROLE EVERYTHING THAT IS, HAS BEEN, AND WILL BE. WITH MY AWSOME POWERS, MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT AND MY STUNNING LOOKS, I RULE ALL. I AM…”
“Let me guess…you are the writer of this story, are you not?”
“WHAT!! NO I’M…EH…I…Okay fine I am the writer, what gave me away?”
“Well, that part of ‘superior intellect’ I could believe. How else would you come up with such a fascinating character as myself. But ‘stunning looks’? Don’t you think that’s a bit over the top.
“Nope”
“So, what are you doing here?” Jasper asked.
“Yeah” Casper said “and why did you kill us. But more importantly, when will you bring us back to life.”
“Well, that’s just why I’m here. I seem to be suffering a few minor setbacks because of school and other things. Soooo….I’m afraid you will stay dead until further notice.”
“Wait a sec. Are you telling us you are pulling the plug.”
“Maybe.”
“But why!?”
“As I said, there are more important things that require my attention. And besides, I really have no idea how to continue this story and I can’t continue to pull nonsense out of my ass.”
“So you’re just dumping us.”
“No, if I have time I may write another story and maybe if it’s possible I may bring you back. But for now I’m taking a break from writing until I have more time to write.”
So, what you are saying is, that because of a lack of inspiration, the lack of a decent story and a lack of common sense you are using a lack of time as a lame excuse to stop writing this story?”
“Ehhh….Yes”
“YOU BLOODY WANKER!!”
Author's Note
So, this is the end. i know it sucks, but I really am out of inspiration and I really am a bit short on time.
The sword of the...ponies?
The start of something
(Without a good title)
The void, the black sea, endless space. There was nothing so calming as the vast darkness and silence of space. He hated it.
He was standing at the window on the bridge of the research cruiser knowledge. He smirked as he thought of the name. The lack of originality was appalling. Technically he owned half the ship, or at least he had paid half of the costs but his brother had paid the other half and had designed the ship so he had chosen the name without his consent.
His brother loves space, he loves the calm and the silence, he preferred peace and quiet when he was tinkering at his machines and inventions. He himself didn’t like silence at all. In fact it makes his job a lot harder. It is far easier to tell if his research subjects are still alive when they are screaming.
He and his brother were two complete opposites. Yet they could not live without each other. They both were experts in their field of knowledge and together there was no problem they couldn’t solve, no creation that couldn’t be created, no invention that couldn’t be invented.
Of course they bickered all the time and they made each other’s blood boil with anger now and then. But in the end they would always support each other.
And now, after years of research, hard work and a bit of fraud they had gathered enough credits to fund this expedition. The expedition that would bring them what they always wanted. Not fame, credits or glory, like all the others wanted. No, they desired power, they desired the might to reshape the universe, they sought the sword of the stars .
And so he stood there at the window, looking to the world where they finally hoped to find it.
‘Hey, Casper. Why are you staring out the window like that.’
Casper turned around to face the person that had called him. The man was tall, with a gaunt face and neatly combed blond hair that came halfway his neck. He was wearing an armored suit of which Casper knew it was full of gadgets and gizmos. He was also wearing goggles that covered his eyes. The armored suit was the standard issue Sol Force light armored suit, perfect for the frontlines, combat maneuvers and the Sol Force experimental science labs.
He recognized the man immediately because it was the same man he saw in the mirror every morning. It was his twin brother Jasper. The only way you could tell the difference was by the color of their hair and their clothing. He used to have blonde hair himself, but after a little ‘accident’ in the lab his hair had turned pitch black. As for clothes, he preferred black pants with a black shirt, a long black lab coat, shiny black shoes and to top it all off a nice black tie.
“What are you looking at Jappe?’ Casper asked with a mocking tone in his voice”
“I thought I asked you not to call me that ‘Cassy’.” He answered with as much venom as he could possibly put into one word.
“Tss, no need to get a knot in your lab coat.” He said while he looked out the window. “So there it is. The world were we will finally find It.”
“yes indeed, did the scans show anything worth noting?”
“A few things, but because the sun is rotating the planet the scans aren’t very precise.”
“Are there any intelligent life forms?”
“Yes, the scans also indicate powerful psionic waves emanating from some of the life forms”
“really?, I didn’t expect that.” Jasper said in surprise
“Neither did I, but the most peculiar thing is that some sort of psionic field surrounds the sun and moon and they seem to be controlling their orbit.”
“Are you telling me that there are creatures on that planet who have the ability to move the sun and the moon with their minds!?”
“It seems to be that way.”
“oh my, if I could get hold of such a specimen the possibilities could be endless. I could dissect their brains and…”
“Now hold it, you can go dissect as many brains as you want after we find what we are looking for. The scans show six powerful energy signatures but they are not of psionic origin.”
“You’re right, but we shouldn’t rush this. After all, we have all the time in the universe.”
“That is, as long as our cellular regenerator stays operational.”
“So” Jasper said “enough of this dreaming and vague scans. It is time to get started. 2B-AI bring us to the planet’s surface!” He yelled through the seemingly empty control bridge of the ship.
“Yes sir.”
The voice that answered sounded like it was pulled through a processor, printer and hard drive at the same time. This was probably the case because it was. One of the minor design flaws.
“Sir?”
“Yes, AI.”
“Sir, I know it is not my place to question your orders, but this ship is made for space travels only, landing it on a planet without the necessary specialized infrastructure may cause damage to the ship and we won’t be able to re-enter orbit.”
Casper, whose hair stood on end by just listening to the annoying voice of the AI, yelled:
“You know Casper, I’ve been wondering for a while if B2 may be infected with the ‘Via Damascus Virus’” Jasper said.
“I’ve been thinking the same, but I can’t find any kind of virus. I knew I should have put more effort in the Ai, but thanks to you we had to depart early.” Casper snapped back.
“Hey!, it isn’t my fault the found my laboratory, one of my specimen had escaped and he ranted me out. The little snot.”
“Will all passengers please return to their seats and buckle up; It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” the Ai said.
“I swear to the seven lords of winter that, as soon as we have landed, I will pull out his mainframe and pee on it.” Casper mumbled as he took place in his seat.
All the way down on the surface of the planet, near a little village in probably the largest orchard you’ll ever see, a certain orange pony walked between the trees. And she sight.
“What in the name of the directors bald head is happening. 2B-AI, what’s going on.” Casper yelled while the ship shook violently.
“I apologize for the inconvenience, but we seem to have encountered some unforeseen problems.”
“The hell we have, the only problem on this ship is you!!! Why did you steer us so close past that moon, we only missed it by an inch!!!”
“Twenty-four inch, to be exact.”
“ I don’t care, what is going wrong you electronic dim wit!!!”
“We seem to have passed through some kind of psionic field, I shall redirect… ERROR…ERROR…SYSTEM FAILURE IMMINENT, EVACUATE THE SHIP.”
“Aahw, kri’tzé!”
“Could you please keep those hivern profanities for yourself brother, we need to get to the escape pods.”
Casper kept raging on.
“Well I can’t believe we only have one escape pod.” Jasper replied. Was it necessary to… wait, do you see that?”
“See what?”
“your skin, it’s glowing!”
“really, what color?”
“Blue”
“Crud, I was hoping for green. Wait… you’re glowing blue too.” Casper remarked. “The entire ship is glowing.”
“Interesting, it probably has something to do with that psionic field 2B-AI mentioned. I would really like to study it but a life threatening situation is a bit detrimental for the concentration. I suggest we make our leave.”
They both entered the escape pod and Casper began pushing some buttons in preparation for their departure. Suddenly the ship stopped shaking and a familiar, if not very annoying voice crackled trough the speakers.
“krrrggtss…tsssghhht…emergency generator activated…ship is stabilizing.”
Casper led out a sigh of relief.
But Jasper was a bit more cautious.
“kkrrraagssst…life support operational…engines at full power…power grid restored…
“…node drive at a hundred percent…resuming descent…escape pods activated…”
“See, everything is just fine…wait…what!!”
“If I ever see that Ai again I will fry his circuits, I will feed him to the Zuul, I will…I will…”
“Forget about that Ai, this glow is growing stronger. I can barely see anything!”
“Wait… what the!? AAAHH, this pain, what is this burning pain!!!”
“I don’t know, my skin and bones feel like they are on fire!!”
“AAAAHHH!!!!”
The sound of their screams faded away as the pod entered orbit and plummeted towards the surface. The surface of a world that could never be prepared for the arrival of these two peculiar individuals, a world that would never be the same again.
Author's Note
I apologize for any traumas caused by my horrible writing
The sword of the...ponies?
Don't let the title fool you, dear readers.
This is not the end of the story, but the end of my own foolishness.
I didn't get many readers and even less comments (And I really would have liked some comments)
This doesn't mean I give up writing, but I could use some tips because I have no idea how I can keep up writing at a regular basis. I always seem to get distracted.
i will leave this up for a week and after that I will remove the entire 'battaklank'
Should any of you want me to continue this story please leave a comment.
and in case no comments will come and the story will end : Casper survives, It has something to do with the habbit of putting a pencil behind your ear.
This is me signing of for the moment; I will see you in the next chapter if you are so kind to leave a comment, if not I will see you all in the next story
And remember : Vivat Vivere (live, and let live) it makes no sense, but I like the sound of it
bye
PS : leave a comment
Author's Note
THIS!!...IS!!....oh...never mind, this joke has been done 300 times already.
