Hey, listen in and listen good! I'm The Postal Dude. I know, fucking horrible name, and I'm in this shit world for no reason. I have all my shit and I want to shoot stuff. But for some reason, I can't. I decided that I'm insane, and I try to kill myself. It fails due to Postal fucking III taking away that mechanic, so I wander around. I meet all of these fucking horses, and I try to kill myself again, but no fucking suicide button. This is my story of my time here in Shit-Questria, and maybe you'll love it, you damn girly-girl men who should wear tutus and stand in the middle of the fucking street because you are all sad, pathetic fuckers.