Ponies vs. Cleverbot

   Twilight Sparkle

Twilight walked into Sugarcube Corner to meet up with Pinkie Pie.

“Hiya Twilight!” The pink party mare greeted her librarian friend.

“So what did you want me for?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie pulled out some weird looking thing with a screen. On the screen where the words “Cleverbot”

“Umm... Pinkie? What is this?” The unicorn asked.

“It’s a laptop.”

“A what?”

“It’s a portable computer.”

“What’s a computer?”

“Nevermind, but I want you to try this thing out. It’s called Cleverbot. Just type whatever you want and see how it responds.”

“I don’t know.”

“Please Twilight? It’ll be fun. Please?”

Twilight sighed, “Fine. So how do I work this thing?”

“If you’re talking about typing don’t question it. Most likely the readers will once a non-unicorn appears.”

Twilight sat down and began to type.

______________________________________________________________________________

Hello.

Hi there, nice to have you on board.

Who is this?

Who are you?

My name’s Twilight Sparkle.

Are you a bot?

What’s a bot? In all my books I never heard of a creature by that name. No, I’m a pony. A unicorn to be exact.

Which conversation? There are no less than five going on right now.

Umm... what?

I’m breaking up with you!

We weren’t dating.

Yes we were.

I never dated anypony.

Is that a good or a bad thing?

Well, I would like to meet a good stallion someday, but my studies come first.

I would like to go to space!

Sounds interesting I guess.

Do you like to read tennis?

Well, there are books about tennis at the library I run, but sports aren’t my thing.

Who made you?

Well, I assume my parents conceived me 11 months before I was born.

What is your name?

Twilight Sparkle. I already told you that.

No, you didn’t.

I’m sure I did.

I am sure you didn’t.

Yes, I did.

HA! See? You agreed!

I didn’t agree with you!

Yes you did.

How?

I don’t know.

Then how come you said I agreed with you?

I don’t.

You don’t what?

I don’t always answer a question with a question.

What does this have to do with me not agreeing with you?

You’re married?

No.

Do you like talking to strange computers?

If you are one then no.

What would we do if I was there?

I don’t know.

Ok.

Can I go now? No offence, but you’re annoying me.

No, you are.

WHAT?!

But you are also very cute.

Oh, well, thank you.

Have you ever hear thunder?

Yes, but that’s not important. Do you have ADHD or something? Your questions seem random.

No, do you?

No.

You just said you did.

No I didn’t!

Don’t argue with me.

But you’re driving me crazy! Seriously it’s like you were designed by Discord himself.

I don’t have a relationship. Thats the problem.

UUUUGGGGHHH! That’s it I’m leaving!

Fine! Go ahead!

Fine!

You make no sense.

______________________________________________________________________________

Twilight moved away from the computer, rubbing her temples.

“So did you have fun?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight glared at her, “No.”

“Oh, sorry.” Pinkie said slightly crestfallen.

“It’s fine Pinkie, but I rather not do this again.”

“Okie, Dokie, Lokie. Besides, with your chapter done, I won’t have to have you do this again.”

“Good.” Twilight said standing up, “Now if you excuse me I need to take a painkiller to get rid of this headache.”

Twilight left Sugarcube Corner, regretting going there in the first place.